# New Kitten Very Timid and Scared...HELP



## MollyKitten (Mar 13, 2010)

Hey.
I picked up our new kitten on thursday 11th March, the home she came from was not quite what id expect from someone selling kittens, the man seemed to really adore his cats, but they were left to their own devices and he didnt handle them whatsoever.
The mum was a stray, dont know how long ago though.
There were 4 kittens we saw, and they were all fairly timid and very cautious. Didnt seem playful at all, and would run at any sudden movement. They were hiding behind cupboards and skirting boards in the kitchen, which we presume went down to skirting boards below the cupboards.
We still took her, despite these concerns, as we fell in love with her, but now we dont know what to do because she is soooo shy and scared of everything and just hides in the darkest little corners of anything she can find to run to.
She is 12 weeks old.
We took her to the vets yesterday as soon as we got her, as the man who sold her t us hadnt had her checked or anything!
She had a temp, but otherwise seemed well.
We have tried calling her, getting little toys out, and praising her when she does emerge (which is not willingly) but she cowers and moves very slowly about, and then darts off.
She hasnt eaten or drunk or been to the toilet since her arrival on thur pm. 
Does anyone have any suggestions for us, as we have no idea how to calm her and make her feel at home without being too in her face.
Thankyou in advance. 

An upset new kitty owner lol (Sarah) xx


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

If your kitten is 12 weeks old and hasnt been handled much you are right at the cut off point to easily socialize her. The man who had her should of been handling the kittens this entire time so they would be comfortable around people. 

I would sequester your kitten in a small room or bathroom with a box or covered kennel so it would feel safe in it. Her cat box and water/ food should be near by. You will need to go in and spend time with her to get her use to you, your voice, your touch. 

When you feed her soft food sit by her as she eats and talk to her and Slowly & gently reach over to touch her. Progressing to petting in a day or two. Take books in and just sit with her. If she will play, try toys, like wand toys with a long string for her to chase or capture her attention to play.

If she is 12 weeks and 3 lbs you need to get her spayed right away. Cats can get pregnant at 5 to 6 months old. She can go into heat and she will spend her time trying to escape to mate rather than focus on getting to know you and forming a bond with you.


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## Amberleaf (Feb 4, 2010)

@ Mitts & Tess: 

You spay cats at 6 months; 'tis what the vet told us.

But other than that, keep praising her, make sure there are no loud movements in the house, and put her in a tiny room with litter box and food and first let her get to know your scent, then you can start handling her!


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Merry has brought up the very important and critical points and if you don't mind, I'll be more detailed?

I agree this kitten should have been handled from day one, BUT, you can still help her to become a relaxed and confident kitty with patience and persistence! Merry and I rescue, tame, socialize and foster feral, semi-feral and poorly socialized cats for adoption and we have shared techniques that both of us (_and many more rescuers_) have found to work.
_This link below is to a topic I've made that I call Kitty Cat Boot Camp. Merry and I both use various techniques from the KCBC and while it is a LOT of information, much of it may not apply to you and your kitten, but I think it would give you a good overall view of what your kitten is doing and why, AND help give you ideas to help you socialize your kitty.
The overall theme when socializing any animal, is to try to keep every experience as positive as you can. 
I am not uncaring when I socialize, I work very hard to show them my intentions are good and that contact can be pleasant. It does me and the kitty NO good if they have any unpleasant experiences, so I try to always make them positive. There may be times when you will have to deliberatly help the kitty learn new skills, this is only necessary to help kitties get past any barriers they put up, so we can show them the things we are doing are *good* and *enjoyable*. You will have to learn to pay attention to the kitty, to see what she is tolerating and not push her past her limits. Small steps, patience and practicing the many small things over and over, until when finally viewed as a whole, all have helped to shape your kitty to becoming a relaxed and confident cat because she trusts you._
http://www.catforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=60586


Merry mentioned the 'cut-off-point'. This refers to something rescuers recognize as a tangible thing we must consider when taming and socializing. In the wild, when a mamma cat becomes pregnant and kicks her current litter out of the nest to survive on their own they enter a very difficult phase of their life and many do not survive. The mother cat *must* kick the kittens out because she needs to keep her resources of food and shelter for herself so she can raise her new litter. The old litter now must learn to survive on their own; they have to find a new area with food and shelter resources and defend it for themselves so they can survive. If they do NOT become independent and ruthless, they will die. 
The age of your kitten is putting her *_right there_* and you need to dedicate yourself to helping her learn she can trust and rely on you. I also believe, because you have come to a Cat forum and are asking for help, that you CAN do what needs to be done and you will be able to help this kitten have an awesome life with your family. 
This will be a journey that creates a strong bond between you both.

First, it is not unusual for a new kitten/cat to hide and not eat/drink/litterbox during the first 24-48 hours. They have been removed from all they know and are in a new place where they don't know what, if any, dangers are there to harm them. Adding to this, is your poor kitten wasn't properly socialized before she came to you. My first suggestion will be to place her in a small room with no place for her to hide and become inaccessable (_under furniture_), other than what you give to her. I like to put kitties into my bathroom because it is easy to clean. I have a shower stall and a tub, and while I have kitties in there I use only the shower stall because I close the tub-drain and put the litterbox in there for easy sweeping up of scattered litter. Keep the toilet lid down to prevent them accidentally falling in.

In this small room she has everything she needs; food, water, litterbox and a place to hide that you give her. I like to use a large cat carrier with a soft towel in the bottom, the door propped open AND a towel draped over the top to cover the vent holes and part of the opening so it will create a small and safe 'cave' where she can retreat. I like this setup because in an emergency I have immediate access and usually the kitties will retreat into the carrier and I just have to close the door of the carrier.

Since she wasn't socialized, you will have to do everything from the beginning. 
I give them a day or so to settle and know where everything in the bathroom they need is. I do not look directly at the kitten because they will feel threatened. IF I do look at them, I'll blink slowly at them and sort of slide my gaze away from them while looking down. This is cat body language for: I trust you enough to NOT watch your every move. You want to smile, but keep your mouth closed and not show any teeth. Make soothing sounds in a low tone. Your movements should be purposeful, but slow and smooth, not jerky. The entire message you want to tell the kitty is one of relaxation. _If your energy begins to go 'up', so will her anxiety, so low-and-slow is the way to go._ There will be time later for her to learn to be comfortable around more casual movements.

I shamelessly use food as a socialization tool. Canned food and slowly working the plate closer and closer to where you sit while the kitten eats. When trying to initiate contact, I especially like to use chopped chicken mixed with cream of chicken soup, w/ *very* little water or milk added, you want it to be thick and able to stick to the ends of your fingers. If the kittens won't come out to me when I am there, I go to them: I'll put some of that sticky chopped chicken mixture on my fingers and put my hand/arm into the carrier. They usually huddle at the back and hiss/spit, but I've never been struck. I put my hand in, but I stop at least 6 inches from them. The smell usually entices them to come forward and the bold ones will eat from my hand. Eventually, they follow my hand out of the carrier, but I keep offering it inside for the more reluctant ones, too. I do NOT lean down to look in and watch. I know they are afraid and if they saw me watching them it would make them even more afraid. I only want them to accept my hand offering food to them.

When they begin to follow my hand out of the 'cave' and then eat canned food from a plate near me, I attempt to pet them. I don't dab hesitantly at them, I just pet them. I want to treat it as No Big Deal. I don't watch them closely, again, I know they are scared and I can monitor their actions and response out of my peripheral vision w/out looking directly at them. 
When they have stopped avoiding my hand and continue to eat while I am petting them, then I can move on to handling them.

Initially, your first goals are to help the kitty understand you mean it no harm. Offer it tasty food, gently pet it if it allows contact and spend time in there, sitting and reading or doing other quiet things that do not have fast movements. When you concentrate on your own things, this gives the kitten the opportunity to study you, without you focusing on it and making it nervous. Frequent short visits until the kitty allows consistent touching at meal-times.

I think that is enough for now. We'll move along when you and the kitten are ready.
Oh, one other thing I wanted to suggest ... is it possible for you to go back and get another sibling? I have found that when kittens are not alone, they sometimes relax quicker when they feel they have the support of a sibling going through the same things and they take comfort, and confidence, from each other. I know the initial costs (_vetting/spaying_) will be spendier, but I do think siblings make *great* cat-pairs. If you cannot, I understand, I only wanted to suggest it in case it was possible.
Best of luck and Merry and I, _and indeed the entire CF membership_, will help you all we can!
heidi =^..^=


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

@ Amberleaf:

Your vet isn't necessarily wrong, but neither is Mitts & Tess. Many rescues, adoption organizations and veterinarians will spay at 2 months of age and/or 2 pounds of weight. 6 months is the generally recommended time to have your pet spayed *_by_* to prevent sexual behaviors from occuring as they approach puberty around the age of 6mo.


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## MollyKitten (Mar 13, 2010)

Thankyou very much for your replies.
Last night was a bad night for us, she didnt seem right at all...and after taking her to the vet on thurs he suggested we bring her back today if she still hadnt eaten or drank etc etc, so we did, and her temp was still raised. It was 39.5 on thurs and today it was 40.4, so vet was extreemly concerned.
He gave us some drops and her another shot, and sent us home, he said by now she should have eaten something, even if only a tiny bit.
She has only had the run of one room, quiet and with all her bits in it, but she still remained very very wary and constantly 'crying'.
The Vet called me back at 1pm, and said to bring her back in, as she had huge concerns after we left, we took her back, and the vet seriously thinks it may be cat flu and that cats in a new environment like her, with a temp so high will go down hill very quick. Anyway, long story short, we talked and talked, and after a lot of upset (from myself) we decided to call the prevous owner and let him know the situation. He seemed concerned and said he would take the kitten back and continue vet care himself, and for his other kittens, to which my partner said he should have done a long time ago. Anyway, the vet agreed it might be the right thing to do, to have the best hope of getting her better, so she is back with her mum and brothers and sisters, who will all be treated as of now by the same vet (we are staying in contact with both breeder and vet)
Im soooo upset and hated saying goodbye, but id rather her be looked after and cared for and have the best chance, which is something we would struggle to do, as we have a low income atm, and its too late to take out pet insurance now she is already ill.

I feel like a bit of a failure, but im almost 7 months pregnant and feel i cant deal with a poorly kitten. 

Thankyou again for your advice, and i hope to report back to you with some news on kitty, and also one day, some news on a new kitten once we are ready again.
x


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## marymowry (Feb 2, 2010)

I'm sorry to hear it didn't work out. Don't let this put you off getting another cat someday, though. It sounds like the poor kitten was just sick this whole time and illness + sudden new home = unhappy kitty.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

MollyKitten said:


> Im soooo upset and hated saying goodbye, but id rather her be looked after and cared for and have the best chance, which is something we would struggle to do...
> I feel like a bit of a failure, but im almost 7 months pregnant and feel i cant deal with a poorly kitten.
> Thankyou again for your advice, and i hope to report back to you with some news on kitty, and also one day, some news on a new kitten once we are ready again.
> x


Oh, don't feel too badly. In fact, you have actually made an unselfish decision by recognizing your challenges and doing what would be best for the kitten, in spite of wrenching your heart at returning her to the breeder. atback 
Best of luck!
h


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

congratulations on being 7 months pregnant. What an exciting time for you and it will be demanding once the baby comes. Maybe this isnt a good time to take on a commitment of a pet right now.


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