# New cat - overcoming shyness?



## Rheytarian (May 1, 2011)

Hello Everyone, I'm new here!

I adopted a cat from Hopalong Rescue Animals this past Saturday. He's a 2 year old solid grey tabby with the biggest yellow-green eyes I have ever seen!

Being prepared, I read all I could online and bought all the necessities to welcome home my new companion. My apartment is the size of a studio, so I don't have an isolation room unfortunately.

As soon as we arrived, 'Chuck' (thinking of a new name) ran under the bed and didn't come out. I placed his food and water near the edge of the bed as well as his cat litter box so he can see it. 

I repeatedly check under the bed to talk/read to him and to play with his moussies. I made progress in that he would swat at moussies, started grooming, and even started to eat and drink (phew!) last night. He even prowled my place at the wee hours. 

However, he makes no attempt to come to me and sits away from me when I check to peek. He doesn't appear to be stressed, just overly shy! I don't know what else to do and must resist pulling him out and giving him a huge hug! 

Is the best thing to do is to go about my routine and be patient? Or should I be doing something else to entice him out? :sad2

Thank you for all the tips in advance. :thumb

-Rhey


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## Xanti (Nov 4, 2008)

Patience  He has only been there for a few days, he will come round eventually. Let him come to you...ie, don't peek at him (cats see looking directly at them as an aggressive gesture).

Keep playing with him, offering him treats etc..I'm sure he will come out soon


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## Dave_ph (Jul 7, 2009)

Time


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## kittywitty (Jun 19, 2010)

He sounds a lot like my Little Pumpkin when I first adopted her. However, I kept her in a safe room because I had another cat. In her safe room, she stayed under the bed for about a week. I remember using a mirror to look at her under the bed and she was always in the corner huddling as if she were scared or just super shy. I had put the food on the floor next to the bed but she would never come out. Then I put the food under the bed and that seemed to help. Eventually, after about a week of hiding under the bed, she started to explore the top of the bed and the room I was keeping her in. It was a long process. That room led to the kitchen which led to my dining room and living room. For about two months she would not go further than the kitchen. If she was curious about anything going on beyond that, I'd catch her head peeking out but her paws would never step past the doorway. One day I decided to use treats and toys (as suggested on this board) as motivation to come out of her safe zone. About a week later, her curiosity got the best of her and she was walking into the living room while I was playing with a toy with my other kitty. I rewarded her by giving her a few treats and then she quickly went back to her safe room. Then I noticed on a few mornings while I was getting ready to work, I would see her scoping out the living room (as long as my other cat was sleeping) and then eventually she would roam around all times of the day. It took her a long while before she would go into my bedroom but now she roams all over. I also bought Feliway Comfort Zone (a product which mimics a cat's pheromones) to help ease the tension that existed with the other cat, which helped a lot. I've had her for about a year and she has made some great progress. I have no doubt that your kitty will too. Best of luck and congrats on your new edition.

P.S. - Don't forget to take some pics, we love to see kitty pics here!!!


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Just keep on doing what you're doing, talking to "Chuck". You might entice him to come to you with some extra special treats----little bits of cheese, tuna, or chicken. Most adult cats need a transition period of a week or more. The fact that he has already come out to explore is a step in the right direction.


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## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

1. Patience
2. Slow-blinking
3. Being near but engaged in something else; let him get used to your scent
4. No pressure to relate to you
5. Get him used to your voice, read or sing or talk in soft, reassuring tones
6. A treat now and then

You've done great progress for just a few days.


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## BryanOwnee (Feb 21, 2011)

Typical new cat behavior. He is OK. Give him few days to adjust. Been there, done that very recently for 2 cats.
Enjoy your kitty.


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## Dave_ph (Jul 7, 2009)

3. Being near but engaged in something else; let him get used to your scent
4. No pressure to relate to you


Yep, if you show interest and focus on him you're a potential predator/threat.

Mia hid under the bed when I first adopted her. I took the bed apart, she hid behind the drapes. I laid down in the middle of the floor and read a book. XHe circled the room and came closer and closer. It took a few days almost restarting each time I went into the room. Now I can't sit down without her galloping by to hop on the chair before I get there.


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## Rheytarian (May 1, 2011)

Thanks everyone! I would lay by the bed to be 'near' him. I hope he doesn't see me as a threat! nekitty All in all, I think he's just shy and will take some time getting used to everything. I also gotta keep in mind that he's never had a 'real' home so he has no idea what to think. 

I'll definitely post pics once he comes out from hiding! :smile:

~Rhey


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## kwarendorf (Oct 12, 2009)

Franny was 3 when she came to live with Franklin and me. She spent the first week under the sofa. When she thought no one was looking she would sneak out to eat etc. I spent several months talking to her, but never approaching her. She and Franklin got along fine, it was me she didn't trust. Slowly but surely she started to trust and now, 2 years later, she follows me everywhere, is on the bed waiting for me at night and is generally a velcro kitty. Give Chuck time


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## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Cats are complex creatures. One of my strays used to arrive each and every night to eat, and leave hungry because he was so afraid to come anywhere near me. This happened for months and it broke my heart. Once I chased him around for blocks with a bowl of food. The closer I got to him, the faster he ran away. But I was determined to get some food into him. No such luck. He of course managed to lose me. The next day he didn't come to try and eat. The following day he came and, for the first time, he came near me and was able to eat some. Why such a big change practically overnight after so many months? He had realized, with all my chasing him, that I _care_. He still ran from me if I came near, but he'd only hide under a car near me, not run away. So I'd put his bowl next to the car and turn my back immediately and go away. He'd just pop his head out from under the car and eat a full meal, at last. Nowadays, he loves the game. He's not afraid of me anymore at all, but he likes this routine where he arrives, I approach him with his bowl, he pretends to run scared and hide under one of the parked cars, I put the bowl next to the car and he pops his head out to eat a full meal. When I say cats are complex, I mean that they do figuring of events and process information and analyze it for some time. Something you keep doing that seems useless will one day, *suddenly*, bear fruit. It's the day they come to a conclusion.


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## Rheytarian (May 1, 2011)

Well, I just had a minor setback. A couple nights ago, while he was exploring my place in the dark, he must have upset the bookshelf and knocked down 2 of the largest books! Of course he hid, and hasn't come out to play at night now. 

However, he still eats and poops. I think he's receptive to my talking to him and enticing him with moussies. He even took a whiff of some catnip I offered. 

Patience is the name of the game for me!

I love all of your stories, by the way!

~Rhey


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## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Well, since you like the stories...Tonight it was even funnier with this cat (whom I call CremeBrulee for his color). He arrived and was astonishingly bold - he stood firm in the middle of the scene, near me, without batting an eyelash! I got up to get a bowl of food ready for him, and he ran under the car, pretending to be suddenly scared of me, as usual. I put the bowl next to the car as usual, he popped his head out but didn't eat. He was not hungry, he had just come for the game! The more social cats will sometimes come for the socializing and not eat (often they get food from other neighbors before, so they're not hungry). I live in a rich neighborhood and the strays here get fed quite a bit by neighbors so they are more starved for love and attention than food. Neighbors don't linger to socialize with the strays.

Yesterday something amazing happened. One of the strays, who I would've sworn would NEVER allow me to touch her, actually let me touch her! In only 6 months! To me, this was incredible, as she was most likely born feral and had never been touched. I worked hard at it for the 6 months with her, though. Step by step. I had told myself it'd be a lifelong goal, I wouldn't expect any miracles in less than a few years.


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## Rheytarian (May 1, 2011)

I've learned about the miracles of Feliway. Now, Buster (new name!) allows me to pet him. He enjoys chin and belly rubs. However, he is still shy during the day and remains under the bed. I have confidence I'll win him over soon!


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

It can take a while before a cat trusts so you must have oodles of patience and no expectations. Captain Jack took roughly 4-5 months before he progressed from skittish 'run away at the drop of a hat' to 'I want snuggles!'. Now after 7 months, he's finally okay about joining me to relax in bed.

I think the key is your presence. I spent inordinate amounts of time talking to the Jack, being in his presence. Mind you at first, I wouldn't look at him when talking. I'd stare at the ceiling, at some point on a wall. I'd talk in a neutral, smoothing tone as I told him of my day.


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## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Alpaca said:


> I think the key is your presence. I spent inordinate amounts of time talking to the Jack, being in his presence. Mind you at first, I wouldn't look at him when talking. I'd stare at the ceiling, at some point on a wall. I'd talk in a neutral, smoothing tone as I told him of my day.


This is my trick too. I spend hours each day with my strays.

Nowadays when one of them still runs from me, I tell them "hey, I've been supporting you financially for 6 months now, and you scared of me?"


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## Rheytarian (May 1, 2011)

Buster is currently eating - and the lights are still on. This is the first time he's comfortable enough around me to eat. :kittyturn

I want to dance, but the sudden movement will scare him so I will cautiously dance on the inside!


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## Gabby169 (May 8, 2011)

My Gabby is doing the same things as Chuck is. It's comforting to know there are other kitties to take a long time to adjust. The kitty I had growing up had a very easy transition to our home. 

I'm not a very patient person but Gabby is giving me some good practice. I decided to make a thread about Gabby's (and my) transition to her new home.


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## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Where's that thread, Gabby? I'd love to read it!


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## Rheytarian (May 1, 2011)

Well, Buster is sitting out in the open! This is the biggest step since he got here! He's still jumpy and will dash for cover if I get up from sitting, but I'm thrilled he's out and about with the lights on. =) 

My ultimate goal is for him to sit on my lap and watch tv with me someday!


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## Sephie (May 5, 2011)

When I rescued a pair of cats from the shelter about 5 years ago, Davey (who was 9 years old at the time) was really shy and skittish! He hid in the laundry basket in the corner of the living room for a whole week and we had to leave the food bowl near the laundry basket and leave the room before he would eat it.

I tried to see if he was really hiding there and when I peeked at him, I saw 2 eyes peeking back and knew he was there but I didn't initiate him at all. After a whole week, he actually came out of hiding and nudged my hand as I was sitting at the computer chair (and he let me pet him). After that, he was fine, still very skittish, but he was used to me. 

Until the day he died (at the age of 14) he was always a shy cat, but he did eventually over the years sleep on me, cuddled with me and was the most loving cat I'd ever had. He was my lap cat and did watch tv with me, but was still shy with strangers and never would let me pick him up, but just letting him come to me was a big enough reward to me! As I adopted him when he was so old, I didn't know his background except that the lady who put him for adoption had severe asthma that grew worse over the years and she had no choice but to put them both for adoption. He came with Clumsie who was 2 years younger than him but he was completely social!

I now have 3 kittens who will come home to us in a month, so that's another story!

Glad to see Buster is getting more comfortable!


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## jason420 (May 17, 2011)

When I was introduced to my g/f's cats, Addie and Apollo, both were very hesitant to let me touch them. But slowly over the last year they've accepted me and I can pet them, pick them up, rub their chins, heads whatever and they commonly sleep with us.

The key was learning all about how cats communicate with body language and applying it slowly. 

For example, just like a newb I would often look the cats right in the eye thinking they were bonding with me. In cat reality this is an act of aggression. Who would want to be friends with someone that's constantly aggressive?? Now I try not to look them in the eye and if we do happen to lock our gazes I try to blink slowly, an act of trust between cats. Also I dont directly approach them anymore, but try to respect their space instead. Let them come to you. Reward them when they do. 

Understanding their body language and like someone else said, PATIENCE, is the way to win a cat's trust in my experience.


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## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

aww Sephie, that was a lovely read.


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## Rheytarian (May 1, 2011)

Exactly 4 weeks to the day, I am so thrilled to report that Buster is now out in the open during the day and being a normal cat. Curious, spicy, and wants belly rubs! I'm so happy to see his true personality come through at last. 

It's been a great exercise in patience and determination and I'm also thankful for everyone's support. I'll continue to visit the forum and help support the cat lovers here! :kittyturn


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Wonderful news...yes patience is the key!


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