# I’m so lost without Monti



## Gary D (Jun 24, 2021)

Monti my 17 year old Ragdoll family member had an episode approx 3 weeks ago where he just jumped off the sofa and collapsed on the floor, I picked him up within a couple of seconds and he was conscious but seemed a bit dazed .. he seemed to be ok within a hour or so but I saw the vet in the morning and she said his heartbeat was ‘all over the place’ . Over the next 2 and a bit weeks I had visited 2 vets , had blood works carried out , to which it was discovered he was anemic . Got some medication . He seemed to be getting better at times with only 2 other small incidents and I genuinely thought he would ... then Tues night came , it was about 10.30 and I was going through the pre-bedtime ritual of putting some food out etc when I looked at him on the kitchen chair almost rocking , then he had 3 collapses within 10 minutes , I was mortified and called the emergency vet , drove him there , in the nicest possible way they said I may have to make a decision , but I couldn’t do that as it hadn’t even crossed my mind. They gave him some tablets and said they couldn’t work out the issue , I drove back , got in , let him out off the cage and he stumbled out and fell once again . I immediately got back in the car , called the vet and said it was time , all the while crying my eyes out . Monti is in peace now at the Rainbow Bridge waiting .
It’s been less than 48 hours since he’s gone and cannot even begin to describe the emptiness I feel..... I feel as though part of my soul has gone too, I have never felt so much pain in all my life , life is empty and it’s almost unbearable . Every room in the house brings back memories . Oh Monti why did you have to go ? 😭😭😭


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

I am so very sorry this happened, and I fully understand your loss. You did your best for Monty, and to me the most important thing is that he knew he was loved and when you let him go it was the last and most loving thing you could do for him. The love you and he shared doesn't ever go away, it just changes. Take care of yourself in these days and don't let anyone tell you to "get over it", because grief takes its own time.


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## Gary D (Jun 24, 2021)

Thank you so much for your kind words , I never realised when I got him in 2004 how much I would grow to love him , never experienced grief like this before .


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

Gary D said:


> Thank you so much for your kind words , I never realised when I got him in 2004 how much I would grow to love him , never experienced grief like this before .


I had a cat who was my soul mate, and the hardest thing I ever did in my entire life was to let him go.
The loss never leaves, nor does the grief. It doesn't get better, but it definitely does get _different_, and less raw and immediate, in time. For now, just let it be with you. It's terrible, but it's the end price we pay for loving an animal who won't outlive us. And my guess is you feel the same as I do --it's worth it for what we had. 
I always will do it all again, because the love that my animals and I share is more than worth the price of the grief I feel when they have to leave.


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## Gary D (Jun 24, 2021)

Thank you and I’m also sorry for your loss too. Your words mean a lot , and as you say it feels so raw at this moment , I honestly never realised I would feel this way. 🙏


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## Gary D (Jun 24, 2021)

Such a heartbreaking story.....the oneness we get with these beautiful creatures is almost spiritual . Sage sounds like he was a very special cat . Thank you for your kind words and advice .


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## Gary D (Jun 24, 2021)

Ha , love the memories 😁


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## SilverM00n (May 16, 2021)

I went through what you did in 2019 with one of my kitties. She was an old girl who had constipation issues and hyperthyroidism. We took her to vet after vet, thought we were going to loose her a lot of times. It was a week before Christmas when we brought her in, just for a routine blood test. To use, she seemed fine, maybe a bit achy from the weather, but otherwise better than she had been. It was like a slap to the face when they came back and told us that it was in her best interest to be put down. I was there for her last breath, I felt it leave her body. It’s always hard to loose them. I can tell you that the first week is the worst. You wake up some mornings hoping it was all a dream, and slowly have to love with the fact that they are gone. For me, I came to the conclusion that she was in a better place, she wasn’t suffering or on a bunch of meds, she was just gone. It gets easier, I promise. Luckily I had some other awesome kitties in my life that wouldn’t let me stay down for too long. But take your time, grieve, cry, scream, then put on your favorite show and just zone out. Do something you love, talk to family or friends. Remember the good times, and know that your precious kitty will always be a big, and wonderful, part of your past!


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## dseag2 (Nov 28, 2013)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take time to grieve and know that there are many others out there that are going through the same thing. You are not alone. Most of our cats have lived between 13 and 17 years old, but our 6 year-old sweet black cat Toby started breathing very hard and was diagnosed with the worst case of asthma the vet has ever seen. We tried to keep him healthy with steroids and antibiotics for 3 weeks but he was so uncomfortable he was no longer eating and was just laying on the couch gasping for air. Yes, it is terrible when you have to make "the decision" but we knew he was no longer comfortable. We held him as he took his last breath at the animal hospital and we had a plaster cast made of his paw print so we could look at it and remember him. 

I still miss all our cats... Cleo, Misha, Milo, Nike, Sasha and Toby... but with time the grief does get better. We still have Andy, our 4 year-old and adopted, Bugsy, a 6 year-old Bombay/Manx sweetheart. We did it mostly for Andy because he was missing Toby. Both had previous owners that passed away and they are best buds now. Seems Monti was your only cat but when the time is right do think about adopting another cat. There are many out there, especially loving adult cats that need homes and will become great companions. Always easy to adopt kittens but the adult cats are less likely to find homes.

Again, I am so sorry.


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## Gary D (Jun 24, 2021)

@ "SilverM00n
Thank you so much , I am so sorry fior your loss , your words mean so much 🙏


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## Gary D (Jun 24, 2021)

@ dseag2, 
So sorry about Toby , it’s heart wrenching . Monti was our world , an indoor Ragdoll cat and the only one we’ve ever had , just such an emptiness in the house . Thank you so much for your kind words 🙏


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## miscellaneous (May 24, 2021)

Gary, I'm so very sorry your Monti has passed. It's obvious how much you loved him and how much a part of your life he was. Take the time to grieve, and try to remember that you gave Monti the best life any cat could possibly want. This helped me when I first got here:

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....


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## Gary D (Jun 24, 2021)

Beautiful 🥰🥰🥰🥰


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