# Cat depression



## Guest (Feb 17, 2004)

I have a 2 year old yellow bob cat that's always been extremely playful and loving. About 2 months ago, my boyfriend moved in. He didn't seem to mind it very much and I thought they both got along pretty well. But my boyfriend began to teach him a few stuff like, to stay off the table, keep out of the bed and now out of the bedroom. That's not going very well. He yells at him but he doesn't seem to listen. He's locked him up in the bathroom a few times and that did not work either. lately he yells at him constantly and my cat became a frightened little creature. He doesn't play, he doesn't eat, as a matter of fact he's been hidding behind the couch for 2 days. He doesn't pur when i pet him and he hisses and growls at my boyfriend. I know he must've hit him. At this point I think my cat is extremely depressed. Either that or he feels that he's not the owner of the house . My biggest fear is that the cat will become vicious and he's already showing signs of hate towards my boyfriend. 
Any suggestions? 
Please feel free to input


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## jonsgirl (Nov 7, 2003)

You dont mention if you spoke to your boyfriend at all, did you ask his opinion on why the cat is scared of him? Did you ask him if he ever hit the cat ? 

If it were me (and I know people have different ways of dealing with things but you asked our opinions) I would have a serious talk with my boyfriend. There is no excuse for hitting an animal. An animal cannot defend itself. There is no point in yelling at one either. If the cat could understand English, it wouldn't be getting on top of things or getting in the bed in the first place. Telling an animal "NO" in a strong tone is totally different from yelling at it. I would tell him if he hit the cat, or keeps yelling at it, to STOP. The cat was there first! Seriously . Tell him how you want him to react if the cat does something its not supposed to. Tell him that you will not tolerate meanness towards kitty. The cat could end up biting him, or even you eventually if it continues. I hope you find a solution to this together, and I pray he is not being abusive to you...I know he is probably not, but you never know. 

Again, these are just my opinions. Let us know how everything works out.
I hope the kitty learns to trust him again. :wink:


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## ForJazz (Dec 30, 2003)

This isn't your boyfriend's cat. He shouldn't be treating it like that -- even if he *was* the owner. That's no way to teach a cat anything -- your cat will only learn not to trust, and that it is not wanted. Your cat is probably pretty confused right now, and feels pretty displaced and unloved. Are you upset by this? Or do you not really mind? I think it's pretty clear that the problem here is not your cat -- it is your boyfriend's treatment of it. The reason your cat is acting differently is obviously because of him. There are ways to train a cat -- but you'll never have a happy, friendly cat if you yell at it or hit it. Totally unacceptable, and I'm not sure where you live, but there are animal rights against cruelty.


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## Empath (Jan 23, 2004)

This will probably be my only response to this thread, unless it's to show support for your decision when a positive step is made. I say it will be my only response, because deep down you likely already know the problem, and what we can tell you can probably serve at the most only as validation. It's difficult to be brutally frank, but at times it's the only honest thing to do.

Your boy friend doesn't sound like a cat person. Yes, he may be able to tolerate one around, as long it's spirit is broken and "knows it's place". To me, it looks as if a choice needs to be made. A choice between a well adjusted cat or your boy friend. Already, correcting what has been done would require patience. Basically, I'd say that if your boy friend is the cause of the cat's problems, the problems can't go away unless the boy friend does.


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## faile (Sep 14, 2003)

honestly, i would lose the boyfriend. there is absolutely no excuse for animal abuse, and i fear soon he will start yelling or hitting you. anyone who would hit an animal is no good. this is a deeper look into who he really is, and do you really want to be with an animal abuser?


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## kitkat (Sep 22, 2003)

The reason your cat is acting strange now is b/c of your bf and him not treating your cat well. It is sad to know that your bf is hitting your cat or yelling at it like that. I cannot stand a guy that acts like that towards animals especially little ones like cats b/c they are so tiny and helpless and its just too *ugh* I just don't want to think about it. Now all you can do is not blame the cat b/c it's totally not the cats fault. Your cat was there first and now someone comes and yells and changes everything around, scaring the poor cat. I hope you talk to your bf. :?


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## Littlebigcatdaddy (Jan 16, 2004)

Just wanted to chime in-
Hate to be redundant, so I won't. You answered your own question by phrasing it the way you did. You know, in other words, that it's your boyfriends's treatment of your cat that has lead to the behavior that you're seeing.
The point that I really wanted to make is that time is of the essence. It shouldn't be a matter of if you should talk to him, it's how soon. Not only could you be provoking aggression, but really that's the tip of the behavioral iceberg. You're describing a a quick and deep erosion of trust, of the bond between you and your cat that took some time to form. Obviously, it can only get worse. We've seen, as well, physical ailments arise stemming from emotional stress like this.
Please act quickly! Educate your boyfriend and reclaim your world.


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## drjean (Jan 6, 2004)

I know you're probably thinking, "He's my boyfriend, he loves me, he didn't really mean to hurt the cat." But this is a man with a temper--and not much control over it. He is dangerous not only to the cat, but to you. You're describing the beginnings of a very common situation, where the woman ends up battered. I know this sounds extreme, but I have done a lot of research on this. This man is very controlling and clearly has little tolerance for things that don't behave the way he wants. If he would hurt a cat, it's only a matter of time before it escalates, especially if you are not willing to confront him on it, which will seem weak. He's already demonstrated what he will do to a weaker being. 

Your cat is terrorized. She is telling you what needs to happen. He moved in, he can move out. Do not tolerate his behavior, for your own safety and peace of mind.


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## AngelZoo (Aug 24, 2003)

Ditch the boyfriend, I am telling you now it's for the best, and there are other men. Even ones that love you AND your cat. 

Your poor cat is terrified! Think of your cat as a small child, constantly being yelled at and locked up by it's father, that's called abuse and neglect. 
I have many animals here, and a fiance, dispite being with him for so long, I can tell you if he made one motion towards what your boyfriend has done, he'd be out of this house SO fast.


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## Eric24 (Jan 12, 2004)

Wow...You need to either lose or have a serious discussions with this guy. There is no excuse, at all, for hitting an animal. What if this behavior carries over to you or if you have children with this guy at some point? I feel so bad for your cat. I am boiling with anger right now....A real tough guy, picking on a small animal because he's not mature enough to handle his own emotions. Tell your "man" to email me, an ex Navy Seal, then we'll see if he wants to chase me around and try knocking me around.....this "man" you are with is a real LOSER. :x :evil:


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## Bean (Mar 10, 2003)

My sister had a boyfriend like that, and it got worse and worse (with her) to the point where he'd "play wrestle" with her to the point of her making him stop cause it hurt. It's not a good situation, because the longer the situation goes on the harder it is to break. If that is his means of punishing (or maybe it's for fun :shock how would be deal with children?


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## brandon (Dec 31, 2003)

Ditch the boyfriend. 

If you cant stand to do that I would suggest finding a new home for your cat. Its pretty obvious that your cat is not going to be happy or loved in your home anymore.

Oh ya and I wouldnt mind meeting your BF and teaching him what it means to hit at something that hits back.


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## Sang72 (Feb 7, 2004)

I don't know what I can say, I agree with everyone here, your boyfriend needs to learn to get his temper under control, or it's gonna cost him more than he may want to pay............I know from experience.

Sang


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## JungleKitty (Jan 4, 2004)

I agree with everyone else. This guy sound like he is NO GOOD. It's up to you to help your cat.


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## ForJazz (Dec 30, 2003)

If your cat used to be extremely playful and loving, I am assuming that you treated it well. Doesn't it bother you that your boyfriend is not? You're right -- your cat is NOT happy in your house right now. His trust is damaged and he feels unloved. You need to take action fast.


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## theboyfriend (Feb 17, 2004)

No, I haven't mistreated the cat in any more than she does, if that is considered mistreatment. She actually hit the cat in the butt a few times because he was chewing the computer wires. What is actually happening is that she is pregnant and I'm trying to educate the cat to stay out of the bedroom because I don't want the cat anywhere near my baby when he arrives. I always say no when he is going into the bedroom, and I expected her to do the same, but since she doens't the cat is seen her as a good cop and I as a bad cop. 

He will always listen to "NO" when she is not around, and when she is present he does as he pleases. No, he does not own the house. If you people don't mind a cat sleeping on the table and having his anus where you eat your meals and cut your food, that's a higiene problem that I think you should deal with. 

Mr. Eric, ***are you to call me loser? Mind your own life.


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## brandon (Dec 31, 2003)

sounds to me like you two have a lot deeper issues that the well being of one feline. I suggest a new home for the cat. I think everyone in your home would be much happier.


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## Eric24 (Jan 12, 2004)

theboyfriend said:


> No, I haven't mistreated the cat in any more than she does, if that is considered mistreatment. She actually hit the cat in the butt a few times because he was chewing the computer wires. What is actually happening is that she is pregnant and I'm trying to educate the cat to stay out of the bedroom because I don't want the cat anywhere near my baby when he arrives. I always say no when he is going into the bedroom, and I expected her to do the same, but since she doens't the cat is seen her as a good cop and I as a bad cop.
> 
> He will always listen to "NO" when she is not around, and when she is present he does as he pleases. No, he does not own the house. If you people don't mind a cat sleeping on the table and having his anus where you eat your meals and cut your food, that's a higiene problem that I think you should deal with.
> 
> Mr. Eric, *** are you to call me loser? Mind your own life.



I was minding my life, until your girlfriend came on here and said she thought you were abusing your cat. The least amount of time I have to deal with people like you the better, so trust me-I'm not seeking you out. 

Second of all, it's not "MY BABY". It's OUR BABY (you and your girlfriend's). More her's than yours because she has to carry it and give birth to it. These kinds of statements re-affirm the perception of you. 

Third, regarding hygene..or higiene as you so eloquently described it,...it's not that hard to wipe down a table...or simply pick the cat up, say no-in a stern voice, and calmly place the cat on the floor


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## theboyfriend (Feb 17, 2004)

I refer to the baby any way I please. After picking up the cat a hundred times from the table, My approach is a stern voice and a NO, like you people here say often. Hey, lick the table if you want, the cat is not going to be in MY table in MY house and that is final. How about you paying child support since is your business? Gosh, I hate lonely people with too much time on their hands.


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## Annissa (Dec 9, 2003)

I've stayed out of this thread mostly because there wasn't a whole lot of information to go off of. But now that we have the boyfriend here, maybe we can address each issue individually. Namely how lsysdev and the boyfriend can properly train their cat.

Here is a site on how to train your cat to stay off of counters and tables: http://www.petcaretips.net/cat_on_counter.html. This is a good one to teach him because you're right; a cat shouldn't be on a surface where you eat or prepare your food.

I'm not sure how to train a cat to stay out of a certain room. It's something I've not done or seen anyone have much success with. I did find a .pdf file online that addresses having cats and a new baby. Here's what they said:

"Congrats on the new addition to your family. And good for you for not following the too-common advice to find new homes for your pets when you became pregnant. Too many pets become homeless on the recommendations of well-meaning but misinformed friends, parents, and physicians.
"The good news is that cats and children will co-exist happily, but getting to that point does require a modicum of common sense on your part. Cats don't smother babies, despite old wives' tales to the contrary, but its still essential to keep your pets and your infant child apart unless you're supervising.
"You cannot really train a cat to stay out of the crib, so its better to put up a barrier to keep your pets out if you're not watching. A common bit of advice is to replace the nursery door with a screen door. It's not hard to do, and will allow you to hear your baby while keeping the cats away from the crib.
"Cats sometimes forget their house manners at times of household stress or change. If your cats start forgetting where the litter box is once the baby arrives, don't punish them. Stressing them further will only make the situation worse. Instead, ease them into new routines by keeping them in a room away from all the hubbub for a couple of weeks -- a spare bedroom is ideal. Be sure to provide them with clean litter boxes, food, water, and a scratching post or cat tree, and don't forget to carve some time out of your new routine to reassure them with praise, petting and play. 
"Pets are good for children! If you gently introduce your pets to the idea of having a new "sibling," your child will be well-positioned to learn the lessons of responsibility and compassion that pets are so good at teaching."

So there are some solutions for you. Like my fellow board members, I would like to stress how important it is to not punish your cat. Generally punishments like hitting will only lead to more behavioral problems.

Good luck with the pet and the baby!


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## Eric24 (Jan 12, 2004)

theboyfriend said:


> I refer to the baby any way I please. After picking up the cat a hundred times from the table, My approach is a stern voice and a NO, like you people here say often. Hey, lick the table if you want, the cat is not going to be in MY table in MY house and that is final. How about you paying child support since is your business? Gosh, I hate lonely people with too much time on their hands.



I figured you would resort to personal attacks, however I do not have any children so your poor attempt at an insult doesn't pass muster. We, people here who care about animals, devote our time to the well being of animals. I don't see you as the type to devote anything to anybody but yourself, given how everything is "mine". Send me an email with your address, I'll take the cat off your hands and give it a loving home as it deserves. It doesn't deserve to be treated as a bother.


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## theboyfriend (Feb 17, 2004)

Anissa. a simple approach I took was to simply closing the bedroom door, but the cat starts scratching it and she will let the cat inside. Even the most patient pet owner will agree with me that a cat going wild at 6 in the morning is annoying. So I followed advice on this forum and told her to lock the cat inside the bathroom for a while to teach him that his behavior has consequences. She made a fuss when the cat started scratching the door and screaming. Eventually I guess the cat would give up and stop but she didn't allow me to do this.


Eric, you called me a loser without knowing the situation. That's a shame.

Anyway Anissa, thanks for your input and wish you well too.


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## Littlebigcatdaddy (Jan 16, 2004)

Also, just out of curiosity, why is it such a pressing desire to have the cat "nowhere near the baby" when he/she arrive? 1st off, you don't buy into that 'stealing the baby's breath' theory, I hope? 2nd, you may be able to keep the cat from the nursery, but once the child can crawl, what then? There's *no way* to keep those two completely separate from one another in the long run.
Another thing you might not be seeing is that by treating the cat in this way, when the baby does arrive, the cat may well see the baby as the last straw in terms of territorial stress (you were the first), and begin peeing outside the litterbox. What then?
The point being made here is that if your girlfriend's description of the cat's behavior is accurate, this goes beyond you being "the bad cop."
This is about a training technique that you've adopted that *does not* work. The cat is clearly letting both of you know that.
Make a decision. Either lear how to train a cat properly, or come to a consenting choice that you need to rehome the cat. Stop terrorizing him. It's that simple.


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## Sang72 (Feb 7, 2004)

*Ok.....*

I will be the first one here to apologize for passing judgement without knowing all the facts, or allowing the accused the opportunity to defend themselves. 

However, the inital post states;

1. The cat has always been loving and playful (granted we don't know what kind of timeframe we are dealing with, days/months/years)
2. 2 months ago the boyfriend moved in.
3. The cat has been locked in the bathroom. 
4. The cat is yelled at constantly.
5. Allegations of physical abuse were made.
6. The cat has exhibited significant and drastic behavioral changes.
7. The cat exhibits signs of hostility towards the boyfriend.
8. Suggestions and input were asked for.

The boyfriend's rebuttal states.

1. He hasn't abused the cat any more than she has, she hit the cat too. (Don't hit the cat, suggestion, use a squirt gun)
2. The girlfriend is pregnant and he is training the cat, because he doesn't want it anywhere near the baby. (unless you are going to keep the cat or the baby locked up, you'd better find another option. Cats are curious and will want to investigate the new arrival).
3. The girlfriend is expected to keep the cat out of the bedroom. (sounds like a communication issue, and raising a child requires a lot of communication)
4. The cat does not own the house. (That's a difference of opinion between the boyfriend and the cat, however if the boyfriend is the one that moved in, it would seem that the house is the property of the girlfriend).
5. A hygiene problem with a cat? Wait till one has to deal with diapers, throw up and all the bugs, slugs and grubs that a child will bring home.
6. Mr. Eric is invited to mind his own life, however his comments and opinions were solicited by the inital post.

I once yelled and screamed at my cat and chased her under the bed for peeing on my shirt. A half hour later, she came out, shaking and crying, and buried her face under my arm. I never did that to her again. I had to decide whether the love, trust, and companionship of my pet was worth less than a $25.00 shirt, that I shouldn't have left lying on the floor to begin with. I know this may sound silly, but one needs to understand that I (and I believe many if not all of us) love my pets dearly and I would die before I allowed anyone to deliberately inflict harm on my babies. Any hint of animal abuse causes my blood to boil, which is why I have decided to make caring for animals my career.


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## Annissa (Dec 9, 2003)

theboyfriend said:


> Even the most patient pet owner will agree with me that a cat going wild at 6 in the morning is annoying.


Your cat waits till 6? Lucky! :wink: 

http://Www.littlebigcat.com has great articles on play therapy that will help your cat sleep later so you can get more rest. It might also help the trust issues that have developed between you and the cat.

Honestly, I have had the same problem with Sabby in the past and I tried to solve it by locking him in the bathroom as well. It didn't really work because he didn't want to be in the bathroom and he's part siamese so his yowl is loud enough to wake the neighbors. I started playing with him for an hour or so at night and the problem was solved just like that.

Your situation seems a lot like the problems my fiance and I had when he first moved in with us. It got to the point where Justin wanted me to get rid of the cat. He said it was "Him or me." Play therapy helped us tremendously. Justin and I will roll catnip filled balls to one another and let Sabby chase them. Justin and Sabby have gotten really close now...sometimes I think Sabby prefers Justin to me!


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## theboyfriend (Feb 17, 2004)

Littlebigcatdaddy, the reason I don't want the cat near the baby is because he is very playfull but gets way rough. He bites a lot when he is excited or trying to wake us up and even to me as an adult is hurts. Sometimes he would just grab us by his nails and stretch. He doesn't mean harm, but that's his nature. He is a good cat, just spolied. Imagine your newborn baby crying and flapping his little arms and the cat seen it as something playfull? I know him, and that means fun.

Sang72, as far as 4. The cat does not own the house. (That's a difference of opinion between the boyfriend and the cat, however if the boyfriend is the one that moved in, it would seem that the house is the property of the girlfriend). 

You are invited to pay this month's rent.

As for you all, is sad that very few people tried to help with constructive tips about educating the cat, but rather built your little jerry springer letsgetintotheirpersonalrelationship show.


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## ForJazz (Dec 30, 2003)

Thanks for coming in to explain things better. I hope you did it because you care, and not just because someone called you a loser. I hope you're here for the right reasons.

It sounds like you have legit reasons to want to train her cat differently. You'll have more success if you try different training methods. Cats simply can't be trained by hitting, yelling, chasing, or being locked in the bathroom like a child on a time out. They just aren't that kind of animal. If you honestly want to keep the cat in your home and include it in your family, then this time before the baby is born is the perfect time to train him right. Even the rough play can be fixed. Check out littlebigcat.com. If your cat starts playing too rough, get up and walk away. He'll learn that it's not fun. Basically you extinct undesirable behavior and reward desireable behavior. This is the best way cats learn. It will be almost impossible to "train" your cat to stay out of the bedroom -- its a place where group scent is very strong and he'll want to be there. What you need to do is train him to be a gentle cat so that he's not a danger even if he goes near the baby. Chances are he'll be scared of it and will hide most of the time until he gets used to the baby -- I don't think you have much to worry about as long as you begin the training. 

theboyfriend -- please don't get offended by people in this thread. Your girlfriend is the one who wrote the post asking for help in alleviating the problem. People were just responding to exactly what she said, which didn't exactly leave much to the imagination. You can't really blame them -- with the exception of name-calling, (no excuse for that) which you did as well, although in retalliation. She asked, and everyone responded. But fighting isn't the way to fix this.


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## Ioana (Jul 12, 2003)

I believe you can solve the situation without sending the kitty away from the bedroom. 
+ there must be a reason behind your kitty's wanting to play rough. Discourage any contact between her paws and your hands - which she is obviously taking for objects of prey. Push gently when she attacks, or tries to stretch on you + firm NO or she will keep on going for your fingers, hands. Don't get angry with her - she doesn't mean wrong. Just talk to her in a gentle manner and will be build a strong relationship. Toys that are attached to something are the best way to keep kitties away from your hands and help them focus on the toy - which can be a fun way to interract without any pain  
I agree with you not wanting the kitty on countertops - I don't either. Have you tried sticky paws? I have heard it works well. 
Please come back here with any questions you have - People here are very passionate about cats /animals and just don't want them to get hurt.


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## Eric24 (Jan 12, 2004)

You can't really blame them -- with the exception of name-calling, (no excuse for that) which you did as well, although in retalliation. She asked, and everyone responded. 



To defend my self against being portrayed as a combative, immature person...I think using the word loser to describe the person the original person described, as a loser is pretty accurate....Have you never called anyone (based even on a description) a name?


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## theboyfriend (Feb 17, 2004)

"To defend my self against being portrayed as a combative, immature person...I think using the word loser to describe the person the original person described, as a loser is pretty accurate....Have you never called anyone (based even on a description) a name?"

No, I haven't.


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## ForJazz (Dec 30, 2003)

Eric24 said:


> You can't really blame them -- with the exception of name-calling, (no excuse for that) which you did as well, although in retalliation. She asked, and everyone responded.
> 
> 
> 
> To defend my self against being portrayed as a combative, immature person...I think using the word loser to describe the person the original person described, as a loser is pretty accurate....Have you never called anyone (based even on a description) a name?


Eric -- I really think that everyone responded just fine in this thread except those who threatened more violence because of her boyfriend's violence. Isn't that a bit...hypocritical? I was mad as well as scared for her and her cat when I read her thread too -- which is what I tried to tell him. People responded to what SHE wrote. Everyone was just responding to her words -- so if he wants to argue about people's reactions to that, he should work it out with his girlfriend. Her post sounded like a cry for help -- and that's all anyone tried to do, therefore it is all in innocence. Yes -- I believe violent people who hit defenseless animals are losers. If that's all there was to this, then that would be the end of it. But now the whole story is out. He came here to speak for himself and explain -- so all I'm saying is that it doesn't need to continue because he's speaking now too. I'm not trying to get down on you at all -- I'm glad he came here to speak for himself, but I think the reason should be in order to make their arrangement work, not to fight with people.


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## Ioana (Jul 12, 2003)

My opinion is that we should concentrate on the kitty's well-being rather than putting each other in different categories..people can change - we just need to have a more positive outlook.
She should be the one to discuss the most in this thread.


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## ForJazz (Dec 30, 2003)

theboyfriend said:


> "To defend my self against being portrayed as a combative, immature person...I think using the word loser to describe the person the original person described, as a loser is pretty accurate....Have you never called anyone (based even on a description) a name?"
> 
> No, I haven't.


Good -- but now isn't the time to argue about this -- it's over, and you're here now to speak. Please don't make anyone here think that you came here only to fight with Eric over a tiny little thing -- your living situation is the serious issue. If you really care about the problem, please take the advice given to you and do what you can with it for the sake of your living arrangement. Like I said before, I want to believe you came here for the right reason, not because someone stepped on your toes and you didn't like it. He was only responding to your girlfriend's post -- which sounded like a cry for help. Please just be a man and take only what might help you from this thread, and leave the rest.


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## Eric24 (Jan 12, 2004)

Eric -- I really think that everyone responded just fine in this thread except those who threatened more violence because of her boyfriend's violence. Isn't that a bit...hypocritical? 


No....no one was threating violence nor being hypocritical. Hypocritical would be saying, "Don't abuse animals" and then slapping my turtle around the room for pooping on my Patriots jersey. Just simply stating that if someone abuses an animal that can't defend themselves, that person may not want someone or something that can defend itself to get involved. Please don't make it sound as if I came on here threating people, all I said was perhaps a person like that should try their hand at hitting something that hits back. That is far from threating.


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## ForJazz (Dec 30, 2003)

Eric24 said:


> Eric -- I really think that everyone responded just fine in this thread except those who threatened more violence because of her boyfriend's violence. Isn't that a bit...hypocritical?
> 
> 
> No....no one was threating violence nor being hypocritical. Hypocritical would be saying, "Don't abuse animals" and then slapping my turtle around the room for pooping on my Patriots jersey. Just simply stating that if someone abuses an animal that can't defend themselves, that person may not want someone or something that can defend itself to get involved. Please don't make it sound as if I came on here threating people, all I said was perhaps a person like that should try their hand at hitting something that hits back. That is far from threating.


Please don't be offended. By no means do I think you are a violent bully. I wasn't necessarily talking about you either -- I just meant the people who mentioned anything about hitting *him.* The reason people got angry was because of the thought of him hitting a cat or his gf. I just think there's no point to something like that -- and it will help no one. Can we stop talking about the fight and let him take the information that will help the cat? She is the reason for the thread afterall. By no means do *I* want to argue with you about whether or not what you said was threatening. Everyone will have their own opinion about that, but it's really not the issue here at all and should be dropped. I'll be the first to do that I guess.


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## Guest (Feb 18, 2004)

thx for all the input, i was really looking for answers as to how i can get my cat out of this depression so that he could to be playfull and gain the trust he had in us and feel comfy in our house again. I kinda spent 40 min or so trying to play his way from behind the couch and only now he began to slowly walk thru the house again, smelling everything as if he was in a totally different place. It was very gratifying to see him rubbing against me and all the furniture, responding to my voice and wagging his tail. He still doesn't pur but the fact that he's finally eating after 2 days is making me happy enough. I really hope that he won't go back to that corner again.


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## jonsgirl (Nov 7, 2003)

That is good news, I hope your kitty gets back to his old self again. Please keep us posted.


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## ForJazz (Dec 30, 2003)

Sounds good -- just remember that the play therapy and positive reinforcement will be the best way to train your cat. Good luck!


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## JungleKitty (Jan 4, 2004)

OKAY! WOW!
Um... I think the cat needs to find a new home. But you know what guys...it doesn't matter what we suggest to the girlfriend because it's a little obvious who rules the roost. With that being said we are all wasting our valuable time and advice on these two. I feel sorry for the girlfriend


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## Bean (Mar 10, 2003)

Hello again...

Now that the boyfriend is now here and his cases are aired, I will retract my previous statement. Well - I still do not fully know the situation, but we had presumed beforehand that there was some abusive situation. Whether or not both of you (or one of you) hit the cat or not (or how hard), hitting isn't not always the best approach at training a cat. I scanned through most of the posts in reply and think you'll probably have enough information there to judge what you should do.

As for the whole baby/bedroom issue, I would say closing the doors is the best option. Of course they won't always be closed, but a loud startling clap when you find the cat in the room for those times should be appropriate. As for the scratching - well, you'll have to get used to it. The cat will eventually learn to stop, but until then you will have to bear with it. It might just be a bit of preparation for the baby - it will probably keep you up more than the cat.

A friend/co-worker of mine has raised his child (now 2) while having a cat in the house, and will be bringing another baby into the world in a couple months. I can ask him for some advice on this matter. Of course while young and defenseless you will have to keep close tabs on kitty - but when old enough to walk (and grab) the kid will probably be able to instill enough fear in the cat for the cat to know to keep well away. The best way for this is probably controlled introductions to the baby, keeping sure the cats claws and teeth are well away from the baby (and be sure to make sure the cat is safe too).

However, I've never raised a child so I can't say for sure. Good luck with your endeavors.


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## Bean (Mar 10, 2003)

oh - and I probably should add...

Please keep dirogatory comments down please - it'll keep going back and forth over and over. Constructive critism please. I mean that for both "sides"... Instead of pointing faults, we can offer advice to help solve the problem.

And lastly for "theboyfriend" and "lsysdev" - if these cat problems are too much, or you are still worried for the cat it may be best to find a new home for it. Offen times shelters may not take in cats from a good home, but you can post signs at those shelters for giving away cats. Not to mention any other means possible. A baby is a big responsibility, and if a cat takes away much needed attention then it's better for both the cat and the baby. Just PLEASE don't put it out on the street.


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## Padunk (Oct 20, 2003)

Congrats on your new baby. 

Don't worry, my childhood cat and I were born on the same day, same year. She came home @ six weeks old... the cat never harmed me, and I wasn't a nice little kid. I'm confident that you can train the cat to keep away from the baby, but it's unlikely that you'll be able to keep the two completely seperate. If that's a problem for you two, perhaps the cat needs a new home?

g'luck


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## faile (Sep 14, 2003)

i also retract my statement and offer an apology for assumptions i made. however, it would seem that you two need to have a talk as to why she made you seem an abusive monster-man, because that is certainly how you came off sounding, theboyfriend! 

and i would add kitty advice, but everyone else did for me.


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## theboyfriend (Feb 17, 2004)

As my last reply in the forum ever, I wanna thank some people who came up with ideas on how to help the cat, who is doing just fine by now. When we found this forum, our idea was to simply get different perspectives from other cat owners and then it turned out into a circus. I could picture some of you in the auditorium of the Maury show or jerry springer raising your hands, putting your hands on your waist, shaking your heads and going something like, "my comments are for the boyfriend: you better shape up 'cause you shouldn't get no honey, uh uh uh uh uh, am I right, sista?".

But what surprised me the most is how fast some of you responded and the amount of replies you have on this forum, which leads me to conclude that you check this forum almost hourly and are actually really dedicated, like you are providing some kind of service. I call that loneliness. Lonely people with too much time on their hands sitting on an apartment rejecting the world outside. That's a sad picture. Did you know that there is a war going on? Our economy is in bad shape?

That's all I have to say, auf auf....


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## jonsgirl (Nov 7, 2003)

.... 

Yayyyyyy!!     

Okay this thread needs 'El Lock-o'. Por Favor.


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## xplictik (Jan 10, 2004)

what if.. we had another great depression!!! woa!


"my questions for the cat abuser (audience woas!) -- HEY HEY I AINT NO CAT ABUSER -- Ya ya whateva.. do you like hurting your cat, does it make you feel like your a MAANNNNNN!"

JERRY JERRY JERRY!


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## KerriKitty (Feb 10, 2004)

LOL. Okay. Theboyfriend, if anyone turned this into Jerry Springer, it was you.

How many posts someone has and how quickly a person replies is hardly indicative of whether the person has "a life" or not. Your snide comments are totally unnecessary especially after several people apologized for jumping to conclusions. Grow up and lose the attitude. It's a tip.


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