# Lily has arrived!



## Onyx1250 (May 25, 2015)

Miss Lily has arrived in her new home with me! I had fully intended to keep her isolated in the bathroom for the first few days and do a very slow introduction, but I had a friend over (she went with me to pick up Lily since I didn't know the person I was getting her from) and she let Lily out of the carrier in the living room while I was outside getting some of her things from the car. So... that went out the window. No fights yet, just a bit of growling and hissing from Lily and Onyx both. Oddly, Lily seems to be the more dominant of the two of them... I had fully expected Onyx to take on the dominant role.

Lily is GORGEOUS, but I am horrified by how OBESE she is. The pictures I had of her before made her look a bit chunky... but guys, this cat probably weighs a solid 20 lbs. She's been eating meow mix tender centers... and that's going to stop ASAP. I need to get some weight off this cat before it starts affecting her health (if it hasn't already). Also, her previous owner told me she has allergies. She's having some major discharge from her nose... kinda yellowish-greenish, so she's going to be going to the vet ASAP as well. No coughing, so that's good.

Aaaaand now the fun part... PICTURES!!!


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## Greenport ferals (Oct 30, 2010)

What a gorgeous cat! I hope you can help her take off some weight and she'll be even more gorgeous. Wonderful markings.


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## Onyx1250 (May 25, 2015)

Aw thank you!! I hope I can get her weight down, too. But more than anything, I'm hoping she and Onyx can learn to get along. Lily is very aggressive to him.


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## eldercat (Jul 3, 2015)

She is beautiful, but yes, way too fat! And she's a calico, so likely she is a diva, an alpha cat, the top of the pecking order. I hope the two of them will adjust to each other soon and she won't be too mean to him - after all, it's *his* house!


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## Onyx1250 (May 25, 2015)

Haha you've nailed her personality on the head! She's definitely a diva and an alpha female through and through. She has charged Onyx twice now, although no biting or smacking. Just now, I was petting her and she was purring until she suddenly had enough and swiped at me and hissed. She's still over stressed and over stimulated, but she's coming around slowly. She does a LOT of growling... never met a cat that growled like this. Onyx is more curious than anything, but he's definitely not going to be the dominant cat in this relationship. Still, he doesn't seem too stressed, which is great.


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## ebonytigger (Jan 27, 2017)

Awwww she's gorgeous (and so is Onyx) <3


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## Onyx1250 (May 25, 2015)

Aw, well thank you!! Today is going a little better. Lily is letting me pet her a lot more and has come out of the bathroom even when Onyx is around. She's playing with his catnip toys and he's watching from a respectful distance hahaha


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## lyrathecat (Apr 10, 2017)

She looks so comfortable already, considering! Can't wait to see her after she sheds some of those extra pounds.


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## Onyx1250 (May 25, 2015)

Aw, thanks! Yes, I'm eager for her to drop some weight as well and get back to a healthy physique. I just need to break her of this meow mix obsession... She's refusing to eat anything else!


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## bluemilk (Oct 3, 2005)

WHEE! Beautiful girl... Is outdoor exercise an option?


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## spirite (Jul 31, 2012)

Congratulations! Lily's beautiful - though wow, she is a big girl! 

No fighting is a good sign. I could be wrong, but in my experience, growling is more a way of masking fear than it is of being aggressive - a defensive tactic rather than an offensive one. So once she feels completely comfortable, that'll probably go away. I'd just make sure that each kitty has a safe place to retreat to in case they feel threatened or just want to get away.

If things don't improve, you can always try the slow intro with separating the kitties. But I hope it doesn't come to that! 

Oh. If the Meow Mix is hard enough that it rolls, try skittering the kibble one piece at a time across the floor, so that she has to chase her food before eating it. It'll force her to get some exercise and to eat more slowly. One of my kitties who was never very active and not into playing loved this game. It's better on a hard surface, like linoleum or hardwood, than on carpeting, since the kibble will ricochet off surfaces in unpredictable directions and send kitty running around.


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## amy22 (Jul 5, 2013)

If you have carpets, you can also get one of those treat rolling ball. Also, I highly recommend a toy called Da Bird. It gets my cats up and moving any time of day.


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## Onyx1250 (May 25, 2015)

I actually have a treat ball! I hadn't thought about that since Onyx never played with it, but Lily might! I also have Da Bird. Lily hates it... she's completely terrified of it and hides as soon as she sees it. Onyx loves it, but for Lily it's not going to be the right toy.

I know it's only been a week, but I am getting slightly discouraged. Rather than getting better, it seems to be getting worse. Onyx is ever curious about his new roommate, but Lily only seems happy when Onyx is locked away. She has escalated to chasing and hitting Onyx (granted, she has no claws, but it's still disturbing to me). And she is frequently hitting, biting, and hissing at me. She seems mostly fine when she's the only cat out, and she was properly affectionate and trusting with me at the vet yesterday. I am almost wondering if she would do better as an only cat. I have a friend who has shown some interest in her. I am considering options... I want to do what's best for her and Onyx both. Onyx has not been eating lately from the stress, so even though he's been much quieter, I know it's affecting him, too...


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Your beautiful Lily has established herself as "the boss". She'll likely be more relaxed now, and hopefully nicer to your sweet boy Onyx.


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## Onyx1250 (May 25, 2015)

She is definitely the boss!! She's not any nicer to Onyx, though... she keeps growling and hissing and chasing him. I *really* want this to work out, but I've also put out feelers with a couple local cat rescue networks to see if anyone is looking hard for a declawed calico who can be their only cat. I think she might be happier as an only cat. But I haven't made any decisions yet.


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## Onyx1250 (May 25, 2015)

I'm cautiously hopeful. They are able to occupy the same room without fighting sometimes, and I'm able to pet them at the same time from time to time. They will also eat treats about a foot apart and mostly be able to focus on the food. There is still some hissing and growling and chasing. I'm giving it some time, though. Maybe this can work out after all. She's becoming a bit of a cuddlebug with me, which is very sweet. Although she does still have moments where she gets overstimulated and attacks me as I'm petting her. Not sure what to do about that...


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## spirite (Jul 31, 2012)

Aw, what a little sweetie.  And she certainly looks like she's made herself at home!

I'm glad to hear things are going better. It's hard to be patient, but it really hasn't been very long since you brought her home, so give it another couple of weeks. The fact that they're already able to get their treats while that close to each other is a good sign. 

As for the overstimulation, I had a kitty who did that too. She'd be looking for all the world like she was totally content with the head scratching or whatever, eyes closed, then all of a sudden, eyes open, paws and teeth on my hand. No claws out, and just a gentle little bite, enough to let me know that she'd had enough and to back off. Try to watch for signs, like the tail flicking back and forth, or if she's lying down, lifting her head up to look at you. Margaux's tail didn't flick; it thumped. Once. Then a few seconds later, again. I learned to leave her alone after the first tail thump.


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## Onyx1250 (May 25, 2015)

Haha she has made herself at home for the most part, although she has deemed the bathroom "home base". That's where she retreats when she's scared or overwhelmed.

I've noticed something slightly concerning... I'm going to make a thread about it in the health section. Lily's pupils dilate frequently... and then they'll shrink to little slivers, then dilate huge again. It's not at all similar to how Onyx's eyes behave. Now, I know pupil dilation can be a sign of fear, but with what I'm seeing, I'm almost wondering if she has some issues with her sight. Her eyes aren't cloudy at all, but maybe this could be the cause of the sudden, unexpected attacking? Maybe she is being startled because she doesn't see my hand or something?


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## Onyx1250 (May 25, 2015)

Anyone up for some Lily pics??  We took a selfie hahaha so don't mind me looking like a tool in the background.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Her pics are gorgeous.....she sounds like she has settled in well, now that she's established the 'pecking order'. As for her biting your hand... as well as watching closely for any tail twitches of annoyance, try to notice if it's the position of your hand---some cats do not like a hand coming over their head and will nip, but if approached under the chin or directed at the cheeks are fine with that. Put a tiny smear of butter on a finger, not on the hand that's doing the petting, and _before_ any sign of over-stimulation let her smell the butter on the finger and let her lick it off --alternate with a treat or a catnip mousie when you've finished. This should change her mind about 'biting the hand that feeds her'.


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## Onyx1250 (May 25, 2015)

That's a good idea, I will give it a shot!

I haven't noticed any "tells" with her, and the position of the hand doesn't seem to make any difference. She is relaxed and content, eyes closed, enjoying her ear rubs, and then she'll suddenly snap her eyes open, pupils dilate huge, and she snaps. Then the ears go back, she tries to grab my hand with her paws and pull it to her mouth to bite. I let her do it once, to see if she was being playful or if she intended to hurt. She definitely intended to hurt... it was not a playful bite, it was a "I want to hurt you" bite. And then she continues to sit there beside me, periodically attacking my arm even when I'm not paying any attention to her. She will actually try to pull my arm in so she can bite it.

I'm at a loss...


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## spirite (Jul 31, 2012)

You might try getting one of those longish toys that are good for bunny-kicking, so that she can get all four paws around it and bite and kick at the same time. If you keep it in your hand when she's sitting beside you, you could offer that and see if she finds it more attractive than your arm.


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