# 10/5/15



## Gremlin

Dear my sweet sweet baby boy,
I have never been more heartbroken in my life, before this day. My heart aches like its filled with holes. You were sick from the day you were born, the vet told us you wouldn't see your second birthday, possibly not even your first. But, I loved you so much the second I set eyes on you that we took the risk, we chose to give you the best life possible before you left. I'm sorry you were at the vet so much, so many hours and days of vets poking you with needles, blood tests, urine tests, every kind of test imaginable. I'm sorry that I dropped to my knees when your other mommy told me you were gone. I try not to cry, my sweet baby boy, but I miss you so much this house is so silent and eerie. The sound of your bell is gone, the sound of you kicking litter around is gone, the funny sound you used to make when you would drink water is gone. Im sorry I yelled at you a lot. I'm sorry I didn't let you scratch whatever you wanted to scratch. I'm sorry I couldn't keep you alive. I'm so sorry my sweet boy. Your other mommy took you to the vet this morning, you had stopped eating or drinking and had started to throw up again. They took X-rays and tests and felt your body more. They found a huge cancerous tumor in your intestines. They knew that's why you couldn't eat or drink. They had sedated you to run the tests. Your body couldn't handle the sedation anymore and your heart stoppe beating. Your heart worked so hard, your whole body did. But it just wasn't enough and Feline Leukemia took you before we were ready. I was texting your other mommy all day long waiting to get news about you. She waited until i got home to tell me you didn't wake up. I'm so sorry I didn't say goodbye this morning. I'm so sorry I didn't see the signs. I'm so sorry my baby. 

You got sick last Sunday. You stopped eating and stopped drinking. You spent your last week in a hospital and back and forth from home to there. Your brother and sister canine family passed that Tuesday right after they admitted you for a few days. 

It isn't fair for you, my sweet boy. I am so mad at your biological mommy and daddy. I'm mad at your first parents. Im so sorry you had to leave. Please wait for me at the bridge. I'll be there as soon as possible. Ne good and play nice and meet all the other kitties and doggies. Eat tons of food you couldn't eat before. Scratch whatever you want whenever you want. The world is your playground. Please visit me at night. Lay on my bed. Pur for me. Let me know you're here because I miss you so much it hurts down to my core. I'll see you tomorrow at your grave. I have to say goodbye.

Love,
Your mommy.
P.S. I will have more to say to you when I can no longer cry, maybe tears dry up at some point in time.

10/5/15


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## Jetlaya67

I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose a fur baby. Please have some comfort in knowing Gremlin knew how much he was loved.


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## jking

I am so very sorry. You and your family did everything they could for him. 
He was brought into your life for a reason-you gave him the best home and the best life he could have had. 
I hope you find some comfort in knowing that. Prayers to you and your family.

Judy


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## Gremlin

Dear George,
It's now 10:30 at night and mommy has school tomorrow but she can't stop crying for you. I feel like I should look up and see you on your tree and you're not there. This room is too quiet, it's eerie quiet. This feels like a bad dream and I want to wake up so badly. I love you baby boy. Goodnight.

Love,
Your Grieving Mommy


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## Jenny bf

Oh I am so sorry for your loss of George your little gremlin. You did everything you could to make his life happy, loving and as long as possible. I am sure he left a huge hole in your heart but try and let the good memories fill some of this. He was lucky to have you and you to have him in your life. Run free sweet Gremlin and enjoy the bridge


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## Gremlin

I hope its okay to keep writing him letters for a few days.

Dear Baby Boy,
How was your first night at the bridge? I hope you didn't get scared. I thought I heard your collar jingle last night. I wished so badly for you to cuddle up to my feet and pur. Your mommy misses you. I'm going to school a little later because I can't sleep and I feel so sad. You should be sitting on your other mommys foot rest right now. But you're not. And it's the weirdest feeling in the world. I love you. Be good today.

Always missing you,
Mommy


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## eldercat

You did the best you could. George did the best he could. I don't know what the lesson is, for there is a lesson in everything. Perhaps it is that we can love beyond our own species. Maybe it is that we can love without words. I have an empty space next to me on my chair. I know the lonesome feeling.


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## Gremlin

Dear Gremlin,
How was your first day up there? I held back tears all day. I've never felt more alone and out of place in my life. I know you can see we are looking for a new puppy. Please know the puppy isn't to replace you. There's nothing in this world that can replace my love for you. I slept with your blankie last night, it's the only thing I have left that smells like you. Your daddy misses you, too. He knows how much your mommy is hurting. He doesn't know how to help. I want to wake up from this nightmare, baby boy. It's been one week since your canine brother and sister left us, and one day since you left me. I feel so broken, baby boy. I feel like my emotions are in the wrong places, my core feels like it's empty. I can't cry hard enough, or long enough, to miss you any less. Please let me know you're here. Make your collar jingle again, give me kisses, pur in my dreams. Anything. Just let me know you're okay and you're here and that you miss me, too. I want to be there with you so badly, your daddy can't understand just how badly I want to be there with you. Send me a rainbow, baby boy. Let me know you're okay. Let me dream about you, let me dream about the bridge and all the fun you're having. It's 8:05PM, right now you would be sleeping on the rug while your grandpa wakes you up just to be mean. I hope you are napping plenty, and eating all the food there is to eat. I wish I could've said goodbye to you, I wish I could've saw you after you left, felt your fur one more time. Goodnight baby boy, mommy is here and I miss you so, so much.

Love, 
Your Grieving Mommy.


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## Cheddar

Such powerful emotions. I am so sorry about losing so many family members so soon. My heart aches for you.


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## Gremlin

Dear George,
We're going to hold a funeral for you on Sunday. I'm laying by your grave tomorrow. Im going to talk to you so please be there for me to talk. We're going to get a gravestone and flowers. My heart aches so bad for you my sweet boy. You weren't just a pet you were my baby boy, my son. I want you to come back so badly. When do the tears finally run out? How much can a mommy cry before there's no tears left? Please let me wake up from this nightmare soon. Another sleepless night without you my little Gremlin. Mommy loves you to the end of the world and back, forever. 

Love,
Your forever crying Mommy


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## spirite

Oh Gremlin, I'm so, so sorry. I meant to write last night, but your first post had me in tears.  You were a wonderful mommy to George. Don't ever feel that you didn't do enough. We saw how much you cared, and it was so courageous of you to take him in in the first place, knowing that he was already ill. It's clear what a special kitty he was from how much you miss him now. 

I wish I could tell you that the tears will stop soon, but I can't. But I think writing letters to George will help you to work through the pain. I still have little conversations with Margaux and send her head scratches, ear rubs, all the things she loved, every night. 

Sending tons of hugs.


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## 10cats2dogs

Sharing tears with you:'(
I am so sorry...it doesn't help the pain you feel, even when you know the end is coming, at some point...
It hits hard, in the heart, and leaves a space, that sorrow fills for a while...till the happier memories push out most of the sorrow...there's always a bit left....But it becomes Bitter-Sweet...
(((HUGS)))
Sharon


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## Gremlin

Thank you for the support... It means a lot to me.

Dear little Gremlin,
It's 7:05am. What time is it there? Right now you would be kneading other mommy wanting her to pay attention to you. Last night wasn't any easier than the first night my baby boy. Your mommy is so exhausted. Be good today. Play nice with others. 
I love you.

See you after school,
Mommy


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## Gremlin

Hi sweet boy,
Mommy got to school and got sick so I can see you earlier today. I love you sweet boy.

Love,
Mommy


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## Gremlin

Hi my baby,
I'm sure you can see the new puppy. His name is Finley Oak (insert last name). He can smell you and is confused. I told him that you're my forever baby. It feels weird to tell another animal I love them, but I fell in love with Finley the second I saw him. It feels weird to call my mom his other mommy, and my dad his grandpa. I feel like these titles are only relatable to you, even though past animals have gotten the same titles. I love you sweet boy, maybe tonight will be better. I love you to the end and back.
,

Your trying to be okay Mommy


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## Gremlin

Dear my Gremlin,
Goodnight my sweet boy. I'm not going to cry for you tonight. You wouldn't want me to cry. So I'm going to try not to. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you to the end and back.

Love,
Your trying to stay strong Mommy


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## Gremlin

Hi baby Gremlin,
Mommy probably will stop writing to you at the end of this week. Goodmorning my sweet boy. How was your night? Finley kept me up for most of it. I hope you're doing well. I miss you so much. 

Love,
Your Exhausted Mommy


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## Gremlin

Dear George, 
You sent me a rainbow today. It went over the sun. I was at marching band practice and had to stop for a minute just to say hello to you. I love you my sweet boy. My love for you can only grow. Send me another rainbow soon. 
Love,
Your Hopeful Mommy


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## spirite

Aw, George knows that you'll always love him. Even if you stop writing actual letters, he knows you're thinking of him, and you'll still have your conversations with him. At least, you can be sure that he has plenty of friends. I hope he got a nice greeting from my Margaux, and even from my Olivia.


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## Arianwen

Gremlin said:


> Dear George,
> We're going to hold a funeral for you on Sunday. I'm laying by your grave tomorrow. Im going to talk to you so please be there for me to talk. We're going to get a gravestone and flowers. My heart aches so bad for you my sweet boy. You weren't just a pet you were my baby boy, my son. I want you to come back so badly. When do the tears finally run out? How much can a mommy cry before there's no tears left? Please let me wake up from this nightmare soon. Another sleepless night without you my little Gremlin. Mommy loves you to the end of the world and back, forever.
> 
> Love,
> Your forever crying Mommy


Don't cry forever. He is fine and will be waiting to see you. He will choose you another baby - NEVER to take his place but for you to love.


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## Gremlin

Hi sweet boy,
Thank you for the rainbow. Ever since you sent it I've felt more at peace. I still miss you. I know I need to cry again for you but with Finley and school there's just no time. Thank you for continuing to jingle your collar, meow every once in a while. I'm trying not to cry now, Finley is sleeping. You should be too my baby. Get some rest. Be good up there and play nice. I'll see you soon.
Love,
Your Staying Strong Mommy


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## Gremlin

Goodmorning Sweet Boy,
How was your night? In two days it'll be a week since you left me. Sometimes I forget you're gone, because I wish you were still here, and then when I look for you you're not here. It sucks. Hope you're being a good boy. Mommy has marching band competition all day. It's supposed to rain all day, too. It seems that rainy days bring terrible days after they're gone. It rained the whole entire week before you left me. I wonder what I'm going to lose next.
Be good,
mommy


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## Arianwen

I am scared to think how many animals I have lost - not just cats but dogs, horses and wild animals who couldn't be rehabilitated. NOTHING makes it easier but there is the comfort of knowing that in Paradise all will be well. it doesn't stop the tears but it gives hope! God bless hope!


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## Gremlin

Dear my sweet boy,
Your daddy saw a double rainbow yesterday, one so thick you could see every color in both rainbows. Was that you? Or your canine brother and sister? Maybe all three of you? I went to your grave last night and put some flowers, then your daddy went to the store and when he came back he told me about the rainbows. I asked you to send me another rainbow when I came to see you. Thank you my sweet baby. Everything still hurts, but it more so feels like you're still here in some way, you send rainbows and meows at night and a jingling collar. Please never stop letting me know you're okay. We love you so much. We all do. I wonder if Finley can see you sometimes. We all miss you so much my sweet boy. I'm so scared to get attached to another animal just to go through this pain again. Of course I love Finley, how couldn't I? But, I'm so weary about everything. Be good today, play nice, maybe send another rainbow, to me or daddy or grandpa or other mommy, let someone know you're okay and well.
I love you,
Mommy


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## Gremlin

Hi sweet boy,
It's been a few days. Mommy has been super sad lately and sick. I miss you to no end.
Be good today.
Love,
Mommy


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## Gremlin

Hi my baby,
Mommy has been so busy lately. I haven't been able to talk to you. Mommy's best friend got a kitten and is claiming she's ready to deal with FeLV. I tried to warn her. The kitten gets tested in two weeks. He was a barn kitty. I told her I want nothing to do with her baby, it's too soon for me to even think about kittens. I love you my sweet boy. I miss you more and more every day this never gets easier. I don't cry anymore but sometimes I wish I did. Be good please. Send me another rainbow, or send your daddy one. Either one of us would like to know you're watching over us. I don't get how the sun can still rise without your meows and kisses. I'm so scared that I'm going to forget what you look like, the sound of your meows, or the feeling of your fur. I miss the early morning with you waking me up by hitting my nose. I miss the purrs and cries. I miss you so much. I wish every day I would wake up and I would've just been in a bad nightmare. I want to wake up from the nightmare so badly.

Love,
Your Depressed Mommy


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## Gremlin

Dear baby boy,
your daddy and I have split up. It's sad. Your bearded dragon brother, Joey, died today. I think it's all part of the legendary MacBeth curse. We're reading it in language arts.

Love,
Mommy


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## 10cats2dogs

Gentle (((HUGS))) for you Gremlin....
Sending Healing Prayers for your broken heart...for everything...you're going through right now...
Sharon


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## Marcia

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how heartbreaking this must be for you. it's been a few weeks now and I just saw this. I hope time is healing your heart and that you are picking up the pieces and have some closure. Many of us truly understand the heartbreak you are feeling. (((hugs)))

View attachment 96282


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## bkitty

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm right there with you - I'm missing my Bentley too. I can't say words that will make it easier for you. So I''ll just offer a virtual hug.


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## Gremlin

Hi baby boy,
Things have been rough. But I never stop thinking about you. I miss you so much. You sent your daddy another rainbow yesterday. Thank you for that. Mommy is home sick today.
Love,
Your Upset Mommy


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## Gremlin

Hi my little Gremlin
This never gets easier. Nothing is easy anymore. I love you my sweet boy.


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## Arianwen

You have had a terrible time. Mourning is natural and even healing but it is dangerous to get into a spiral - even though you have more than enough reason to be in one. Bless you.


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## 10cats2dogs

Awwwww Gremlin....
He would NOT want you feeling like this...
Remember the times he tried to cheer you up, if he sensed you were feeling, stressed, or sad??
Can you imagine how powerless he feels...he can't wrap around you, and purr, to take away your pain...
He KNOWS how much you loved him, and still do...that's Forever!
He wants to see his Mommy feeling better...
He would want for you to pass on that Beautiful Love, to another kitty...at some point...
Animals, unlike us, aren't selfish, and Greedy, in the same way, us two leggeds are...
They have Beautiful Spirits, and teach us so many things, for the short while they share our lives...

In my life, I have lost several, and Yes, I've mourned for a while...then I've passed that Love to another orphan, or stray, that has desperately needed the Wisdom, and lessons learned from my departed one...
This is how I honor the memories, and the life, lost...of my Furbabies...

Sending Healing Prayers, and (((HUGS))) as you work through all of this...(you've had a LOT hit you at once) be Kind to yourself...
You WILL make it through.
Sharon


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## Gremlin

Thank you everyone
I'm trying to work through this.
I just miss him like crazy. I've never seen more rainbows the last month in my whole life.


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## Gremlin

It seems like this year is just terrible.
We lost two guys at our school. One was a sophomore, the other a senior. They were brothers. The older one died on his birthday. The younger one died on impact during the car wreck they were in.
I have lost three friends, two dogs, a cat, and a lizard all in less than six months. I am worn out beyond fixable.

I love you my sweet baby Gremlin.


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## spirite

Oh Gremlin, that is a LOT of loss in a very short amount of time. I'm so sorry for all of the losses you've suffered.  What a tragic story about the two brothers. I can't imagine how their parents are coping. Is there a counselor at school who you could talk to? Sometimes, it helps just to be able to tell everything that you're feeling to someone you don't know. Even if there's nothing anyone can do, it just feels like a big relief, because someone else is there to share what you're going through. 

And of course you're always welcome to talk ("talk") to us here. Sending hugs and strength to get through this very tough time.


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## Gremlin

Hi Gremlin, Sorry to bring up a old thread. It's now been almost five months since you left me. I still find your fur around the house, in my clothes, sometimes I think I hear you meowing. Sometimes I forget that you're gone. I miss you so much my sweet little Gremlin. I see pictures of you and your dog brother and sister and I just cry. Some days it's easier than others to deal with you being gone.

Always missing you,
Your mommy.


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## bobbydrake

Hi - I only joined this site last week just so I could talk about my gorgeous Kohl who passed away just over a week ago. I know exactly what you are feeling - I had a really bad week last week but I've started to walk round the house now and tell him I love him and before I go to sleep too. I miss him so much but I take comfort from the time we spent together and I know I loved him more than anything and would have done anything for him. I don't know if you are interested but I've read a few books this last week by Animal Psychics - I've never believed anything like this before but I've got to believe he is in a better place and waiting to see me again one day. Perhaps you could try reading one of these books (if you haven't already) and it may help to comfort you as it has me?


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## Arianwen

Never look for a replacement, it's a recipe for disaster but it may be time to forge a new relationship? Our babies don't want us to be bereft for ever - but NEVER look for a substitute.


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