# One Traumatized Kitty, what can i do?



## emortis13 (Dec 12, 2006)

My cat Chaos has always been a happy playful little kitty. Do to a really complicated situation, Chaos had to live with my mother in a different state for about 8 months. My mother is an evil crack fiend, seriously. There was nowhere else for my cat to go at the time. When I lived with her she was nice to Chaos so I assumed it was kind of safe for the cat. 
So 8 months later I get chaos back and she’s changed. First was the fact that I could feel chaos’s backbones. Mommy dearest had not been feeding her. The second thing was that she was afraid of everything. Me, my boyfriend, slight movements. She would run into the back room if my chair squeaked. 
Chaos used to sleep in the bed with me, now she wont even try to come up and when I pick her up and put her on the bed petting her and trying to make sure she knows its ok to be on the bed, she shivers and runs for it.

Two months later chaos is now a much fatter cat, but she’s still jumpy and scared. I don’t know what my mother did to her, but it was traumatizing. I don’t know how to get Chaos to relax and trust me. What can I do?

Oh, im new by the way. *waves*


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## Krystalily (Jul 13, 2006)

Your cat may have been traumatized by the fact the person she trusted to take care of her most dropped her off at another place for 8 months and then suddenly moved her yet again to a new place. 

I'm not sure if your mom did anything, but moving a cat so much can be traumatizing enough in itself. Plus with the loss of her most trusted person (you) she may have abandonment issues with you. Just be sure to spoil her with treats and lots of loving. I am sure other people will have better suggestions, but after dealing with a cat that once had abandonment issues it can be a hard one to "fix". Good luck!


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

It will take your cat a long time to learn to trust humans again. Thank goodness she's in safe and loving hands, now. Just keep doing what you're doing and eventually I'm pretty sure she'll get over it.


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## horseplaypen (Apr 1, 2004)

Krystalily said:


> but moving a cat so much can be traumatizing enough in itself. Plus with the loss of her most trusted person (you) she may have abandonment issues with you.


While I'm sure this is true in some cases, I too had to leave my cats with my boyfriend's parents for eight months. Sometimes it can't be avoided. Fortunately they were in good hands, and took about three days to latch on to me again when we were all together. I wouldn't really say they had any issues at all.

I would just try to respect Chaos... don't try to pick her up or go after her until she starts asking it from you. One of my cats was quite shy when we first got her from the shelter, and I just tried to respect her limits, so that she knew that when she started to get panicky, I would let her go, and she knew it was okay to get picked up because she could end it. I suppose I was trying to let her be in control. Not sure if that makes sense, but she is a lovebug now!

Good luck, and welcome.


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## Nell (Apr 7, 2005)

Poor Chaos. It does sound like she was pretty badly traumatised at your mother's house. It may not have been something your mother did directly to her (hitting, etc), but it could have been the environment she was in. (Animals will be affected by a lot of yelling or people fighting, too)

I agree that its probably going to take quite a while for her to come around, maybe even a year or more. One thing you could try is to feed her from your hand instead of leaving it in her bowl. Many cats can be reached through their tummies, and having you feed her will hopefully get her to trust you more.
Try sitting someplace quite with her and offer her a few bits of food on the floor in front of her. Give her some pets if you can after she eats each little bit of food. Take it at her pace, though, and don't force her to eat only if you offer it.
If you'd like her to sleep with you on the bed, try offering her some food or treats on the bed so it becomes a pleasent experience for her to be there. (It sounds to me like she was probably not allowed on the bed by your mother.) You can also use some interactive toys to play with her so she forgets about how uncomfortable she is in a particular situation.

Give her lots of love, and I'm sure she'll come to trust you again.
Good luck! (and welcome to the forum!)


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

I don't think this has anything to do with the actual act of having left her at your mother's...more so with the treatment that she received while she was there.

Treat her gently and love her. Nell and Horseplaypen had some good suggestions for winning her trust. Try and keep things quiet around the house. Give her a choice of safe places in each room...make sure she can get up high if she wants to. Try to engage her in gentle interactive play.


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## sefaleth (Mar 8, 2006)

This is just a random thought, but has Chaos been to the vet since she came to live with you?

Our most recent adoptee - Yoshi - would spook at everything, even things he is fine with at other times like my husband or Mac, our other cat. Now that he's had his teeth pulled, he's a whole lot less jumpy. I can only chalk it up to pain from his teeth or maybe the painkillers are mellowing him out.


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## amaranth (Nov 20, 2006)

I agree that a vet check-up might be a good idea--better to be safe than sorry. Beyond that, I would trust what the more experienced people on this forum have said. It can only take one traumatic incident to change a cat's behaviour for weeks, so it may take a long time for Chaos to settle down and trust again. Just keep loving her, feeding her, and being patient with her (i.e., give her space when she needs it), and hopefully she will return to her old self one day.


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## emortis13 (Dec 12, 2006)

thanks for all the advice. Choas has been to the vet since. It was my first priority when I saw how unhealthy she looked.


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## zippy96444 (Mar 7, 2006)

I hope you are able to keep her forever now and she won't have to go through being separated again from you!


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## dmcwlvssr (Apr 24, 2005)

My Pandia girl was a rescue with lot's trauma in her past and she has been HOME now for almost a year. We are now just being allowed to love on her (on her terms only). I still can not pick her up or if I reach down to her or out to her she still runs. It will just take a lot of love, Patience and time. Hang in there!


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

I remember how skiddish my Sam was when first adopted because of the way he had been abused. 

I gave him his space, and lots of love and patience. It took almost six months before he really started trusting me. But after he came out of his shell and completely relaxed into his new home he was one of the smartest and most loyal felions i ever had in my life.

Be patient, Chaos will trust you again. It's important that you let her take her own time, though.
Trust her, and she'll trust you. :love2 
rcat


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