# Confining a Cat



## aniela (Jun 27, 2011)

So I was talking to my latest winner of a boyfriend. After my conversation with him yesterday, this is pretty much my view of him so be warned. We got onto the topic of moving in. I told him it was too soon and that I had 8 months left on my lease and that we'd talk about it more seriously when it is up.

Well, he has two large breed dogs and has them confined to crates while he is at work or sleeping (16-18 hours a day!). One of his dogs isn't doing well. She is very old and has lots of health issues. In a nutshell, he mentioned that he will be keeping her crate where it is when she passes. I naturally asked why and he said, in all seriousness, that Oz could stay in the crate whenever his dog was confined to the crate. His logic is that it would not be fair to his dog to have Oz always have the run of the house. The dog would always be jealous.

What?

I told him I wasn't going to confine my cat and that confining to a crate was cruel. He then suggested the bathroom or bedroom. Again, I told him I wasn't confining my cat period.

It's ridiculous. Time to start looking for a new boyfriend. He seems like he has a thing against cats because they are "mean and evil" creatures.


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## crazyismycat (Feb 7, 2012)

He is evil for confining dogs in crates for all their lives


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## 3furbabies (Dec 7, 2011)

crazyismycat said:


> He is evil for confining dogs in crates for all their lives
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Petguide.com Free App


Agreed. He shouldn't have dogs if he has no time for them and seriously locking up an elderly dog till it dies? I'd definately be looking for a new bf. he'd probably lock your cat away when you weren't home.


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## nicichan (Jul 6, 2012)

Why does he find it necessary to confine a dog or a cat in a crate for most of the day? I understand that there may be a room or two in the house that you don't want your pets to have access to while you're out or asleep if you're worried about them breaking stuff, but surely locking them up in a small crate can't be the solution. Maybe he can rearrange things in his house/apartment a bit to give them more space instead.


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## Ritzpg (Dec 7, 2010)

Ask your (x) boyfriend if you can adopt the elder dog.
And then tell the boyfriend he has been replaced. By the dog.


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## binkyhoo (Feb 16, 2003)

Put him in the crate when the dog is out. Realy?


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## MowMow (Nov 6, 2010)

I'm a firm believer in crate training but once the dog is older and reliable there's no reason to keep them confined, imo. 

Crates should be a happy place. We always had them (my family raises dogs) and there would be 5-6 crates stacked up in the laundry room. The doors open all the time unless someone needed to be crated. The dogs would go in there for peace and quiet and we were taught to leave them alone when they were crated. It was THEIR quiet place.

I would absolutely never confine one of my cats like. That would be horrified and miserable. Perhaps BF just needs some training.....


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## Arkona (May 7, 2012)

I don't think I could date someone who confines their dogs. I definitely wouldn't move in with someone who plans to confine my cat.


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## Nan (Oct 11, 2010)

Good thing you found out about his opinions before you actually moved in together!
I would never crate dogs either, except for maybe puppies during the night.


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## Arianwen (Jun 3, 2012)

Never used a crate - if I don't want them in a particular room I close the door but my babies - feline and canine - have a pretty loose rein. 

Get shot of him - he's a creep.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Get your boyfriend fixed. Then dump him.


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## scottd (Jun 28, 2011)

We crate trained one of our chihuahuas and the latest was kept in a crate when we left because it had separation anxiety and would destroy things even though it's only 4lbs... She still gets upset when she's left alone but it's not to the extent it was. The other 2 keep her company I guess. With that being said, none of the dogs are in crates now. 

The kitten is confined to the master bathroom. It hasn't been tested for FeLV/FIV and the bathroom protects it from my cat and the chihuahuas. I don't think the chihuahuas would hurt her but I'd rather not chance it. She's allowed out when we can supervise.

I would never put a cat in a crate. It is really ridiculous. I assume your cat uses a litterbox so that's not an issue. I can't think of a legitimate reason to put them in crates. With the exception of night, my cat has free run of the house. The master bedroom door is closed at night so she can't go in there and sometimes I'll shut my bedroom door so she's stuck with me but she has food, water, and litter box. 99% of the time she sleeps with me anyways.


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## aniela (Jun 27, 2011)

I'm seriously contemplating dumping him. I had some pretty heated texts back and forth earlier today. He kept telling me to get over it and that lots of vets would recommend crating animals as it makes them fell secure. I told him it was cruel and it was only when I said "I will not continue the relationship if it comes down to this. Cat trumps boyfriends." he then decided that I won...apparently. He's probably just saying that for now.

I'm not really in a position to tell him how to care for his dogs but if I had any say, they would be free range.

Yes, my cat is well-behaved and doesn't get into any trouble. He always uses the litterbox and has never had an accident.


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## scottd (Jun 28, 2011)

aniela said:


> I'm seriously contemplating dumping him. I had some pretty heated texts back and forth earlier today. He kept telling me to get over it and that lots of vets would recommend crating animals as it makes them fell secure. I told him it was cruel and it was only when I said "I will not continue the relationship if it comes down to this. Cat trumps boyfriends."
> 
> I'm not really in a position to tell him how to care for his dogs but if I had any say, they would be free range.
> 
> Yes, my cat is well-behaved and doesn't get into any trouble. He always uses the litterbox and has never had an accident.


Tell him you're buying a large dog house for outside as that's where he'll be sleeping when you move in.


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## librarychick (May 25, 2008)

I am a firm believer in crate training as long as it's done right. TBH crating them over night doesn't count (IMO) since they'd be lying down in one place anyways.

I've met a large number of dogs who can't be safely left out of a kennel or crate without supervision, regardless of age. There are many dogs who will eat/try to eat things that could make them very sick if you aren't watching. It could very well be for the safety of the dogs.

As long as the kennels are properly sized the crating itself isn't an issue for me (for the dogs).

That being said if he's doing it because he's a control freak and doesn't want them loose while he's not home and they're well trained dogs....that I'd have more issue with.

Confining cats...again, in and of itself isn't a problem for me. Our boys get put away when we sleep, and if we have certain (highly allergic) people over. They have everything they need in their room and they happily run on down when I tell them to 'go to bed'. The like their room.

Torri basically lives in our room, if we aren't home or are sleeping she's in there. It's her own little world away from the other cats and she loves her room!

So again, the idea of confining them for their own safety and so they can't destroy our house...for me it's the attitude that does it. If he honestly said to your face it's because cats are awful terrible things who can't be trusted. THAT would be an instant fail, for me.

Confining a cat to a kennel...not a fan unless there's a good reason for it. (feral and taming, kittens with no where else to put them, medical condition/surgery recovery, ect.) But I taught all my cats to like being in kennels for easy transport to the vet.


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## aniela (Jun 27, 2011)

Librarychick, he only wants to confine my cat because it apparently wouldn't be fair to his dog who spends most the time in a crate. My cat is well behaved and the worst thing he does is jump on counters. The thing that got me was that right after I got done telling him I wouldn't confine my cat, he started talking about how "evil" cats are.


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## dweamgoil (Feb 3, 2010)

Excuse me for butting in, but the boyfriend sounds a bit controlling. He sounds like he's trying to rush things along and in a way that suits him (or his dogs). He's not really taking your needs (your cat's needs) into consideration. Consider yourself lucky to be finding this out about him now. If you would get serious with this guy, what else would you disagree on? how to raise the kids? etc. and would he handle things in the same way; his way or the highway?

Good for you for being so level-headed and nipping it in the butt now...you go, girl!


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## Zilla (Oct 29, 2012)

Confine a cat to a crate??? hahaha :lol: That is absurd.... Tell your boyfriend you will crate your cat while your gone as long as you can crate HIM while your gone too... haha If he refuses then I think its time for you to take out the trash  Theres a lot of fish in the sea hun!


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## Monkey_Girl (Aug 1, 2010)

I am a big believer in crate training for both dogs and cats.

I have high drive working dogs who do sport and they must be crated when in the van at training or traveling. When they are old enough, they get free reign of the house... I have an intact male and up until a month ago, an intact female so they obviously were crated when we were not around to ensure no matings occurred. My pups are always crated until they are reliable in the house without my constant supervision.

My cats, they are crate trained as well. This way when I travel they are completely comfortable traveling with me. They get crated in the van, in the house and when we visit my parents for periods of time so they think it's no big deal. The result - excellent traveler cats with no stress being in the crates. I also do this with cat sized travel crates so they are use to that as well.

But, I would never confine a cat for no reason.. that is just silly. If the cat was sick, then yes, to ensure I could keep it away from other pets, to monitor it's behaviour, feedings, water intake and bathroom habits (multiple cat house here).

I would explain to your boyfriend that dogs and cats do not share the same emotions as we do.. maybe he is just not educated when it comes to this? Maybe set up a meet-and-greet with a behaviorist in your area? Have the BF and yourself, ask them question and tell them your concerns.


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## Monkey_Girl (Aug 1, 2010)

This is my car set-up, when the cats travel, they go on the left side with the sherpa covering. I also add a litterbox and squishy pillow for them to curl up on. My youngest dog goes in the one beside it and I remove the seats in the back and add a larger crate for my male dog.

Cats have always rode comfortably in the van when needed. No stress on the cats what-so-ever.










When my Monkey was sick (RIP) she was in a crate so we could monitor her health. Of course she was let out when we were home, but when we left, she went inside so we could monitor her.


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## librarychick (May 25, 2008)

Elisabeth, that's exactly what I mean! That's exactly the right way to use crates for both cats and dogs.

Crating itself is a good idea for a lot of dogs...him suggesting you confine your cat so its 'fair' for his dog isn't ok. It's possible he'll change his mind I'd you do move in together and he gets to know your cat....but IMO it's more likely that he'll put his foot down about it because then it's 'his home too'. :/

If it was just this issue then I'd be likely to wait and see, relationship-wise. But it would sure be something I'd think seriously about.


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## crazyismycat (Feb 7, 2012)

Ritzpg said:


> Ask your (x) boyfriend if you can adopt the elder dog.
> And then tell the boyfriend he has been replaced. By the dog.


YES!! Perfect solution 


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## aniela (Jun 27, 2011)

For the record, Oz is fine with his crate for trips. He's a pretty mellow cat so it helps. If I pull out his crate he'll get in it on his own and looks at me like "where are we going?"

(As for the boyfriend and I, I don't know how much longer it will last. I hate to be an awful, shallow person but we are from two different backgrounds. It wasn't so bad when we both had careers. But since he took an hourly retail job, things have been uncomfortable. I'm finding it hard to respect him for throwing years of education and experience away. I came to that realization when I am going to my company's Christmas party alone without even informing him of it. I knew about this party after the fight.)

By the way, thank you for some of those posts. Some sure made me giggle!


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## OliverandCo. (Jul 20, 2012)

I am not familiar with the community here yet but as an outsider, it does seem a little controlling of him to have suggested that in the first place. I mean, he is entitled to his opinion on cats but you come with the cat just as comes with the dogs, so you both have to deal. 
Since your attitude right off the bat was like, "I could dump him, I love my cat too much" (which I thought was hilarious and I laughed) it suggested to me that your guys' relationship wasn't strong enough to begin with- let alone something with which would work if you moved in! 
When I met my bf I was living with my mom, we had 2 cats, a dog, 2 rabbits, and 2 turtles. We moved in pretty early- 6 months or something (had to do with getting ready for the new school year and him coming back to the province) I took my little dog and rabbit (at that point one rabbit passed away and I re-homed the turtles through my rescue due to having spina bifida) My bf learned a lot about living with pets lol
I was the same, just not outright with it, the dog I had for a lot longer than him. Pets came first. 

I think crate training can be done right, but is often abused as a training aid and treated more for a confinement. Like, why even have pets if you're going to bar them up all day! I can never understand. I feel bad for your bf's poor dogs, I truly do. I wish he was more open to hearing you out instead of demanding you crate the cat. 

Cats and dogs are such different animals. The dog will not get "jealous" lol 

Good luck with this scenario!


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## Galathiel (Feb 6, 2012)

If he just can't find another job, then I applaud him for taking one regardless of whether or not it is his 'dream job'. working is working .. however, if he just did it so he could slack off, then meh. Basing an opinion of someone on their career is quite shallow. A career shows what a person does to earn a living, but says nothing else about a person's qualities. Many good people work hourly jobs, and many arrogant, crappy people are career people 'shrug'.

As to what started this conversation originally, if the dog choose to self crate that's one thing. I will say I have a 12 almost 13 year old dog that is not left unattended .. ever. He persists in marking and can't be trusted, so he gets to stay in the bathroom when I leave. It doesn't matter, he's sleeping the whole time I'm gone anyway.


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## jusjim (Jun 30, 2009)

OliverandCo. said:


> The dog will not get "jealous" lol


I'm don't know if dogs can get jealous of people, but they can about other dogs. A neighbour I had over the back had two dogs. The dominant one was very jealous if the other one got petted. The poor animal was starved for affection.


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## OliverandCo. (Jul 20, 2012)

They can obviously feel jealous if another dog gets treats or attention and they dont but if everyone in gone from the house except the cat and dog then the cat won't be dragging garbage and treats down to eat in front of the crate to make him jealous. The cat will likely just sleep. 
I am under the impression that the dog was confined to the crate bc the owner didn't want to deal with them. Or he was at work all day. Not a life for a dog.


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