# Added 2 Kittens to House - Older Cat Not Happy with Bengal



## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Three months ago I got a Bengal kitten meant to be a companion for my 11-year-old spayed female cat. (She just turned 11 on Halloween.) The Bengal kitten drove my older cat crazy. I guess I should have seen it coming, but I didn't. My older cat is playful and I am used to Siamese energy (those are the cats I have had in the past).

Note: Introduction method was slow. New kitten was in her own room, closed door. I did that first, then slowly did scent swapping on clothing, then room swapping, then allowing them to see each other via kitten in a carrier, then when she didn't hiss, I allowed short supervised visits (10 minutes a day), which extended into longer visits, etc. The process took much longer with the Bengal and only took a few days with the Siamese.

~~~

Two months ago I got a Siamese kitten to keep the Bengal company and hopefully then my older cat would have two kittens to watch. I hoped it would take the heat off her and the Bengal would leave her alone.

But the Siamese kitten doesn't have the same energy level as the Bengal. By the way, the Siamese and my older cat get along fine, unless the Siamese is playing with the Bengal.

So when the Siamese doesn't feel like playing, the Bengal has taken to following/stalking my older cat through the house. She once jumped on my older cat's back, as though she was in the jungle and my older cat were an antelope or a gazelle or other prey animal.

How I "discouraged" the Bengal of jumping at my older cat's tail was by giving her 10-minute time-outs in a room with a closed door. It has helped but not entirely eliminated the behavior. I also have largely eliminated the stalking behavior with this same technique. However I will hear hissing when I am in the other room so I suspect it is still going on.

I am trying to redirect the Bengal's energy when she stalks my older cat by firmly saying "No," and redirecting her energy by playing with her with a laser toy, or by placing her in a window to look out the window, or giving her a toy, or by putting her with her Siamese friend. If it doesn't work, she gets a time out.

I don't know how long it can take for the older cat to accept the Bengal or if she will ever accept the Bengal. It is not readily apparent to me if they will only just tolerate each other. I want my older cat to be happy and at peace in the household.

Just today, the Bengal used a stool to attack my older cat by standing on the rungs of the stool and attacking her as she stood next to it. I got so fed up I put her in a time-out that has lasted into most of the afternoon. I feel I am at the end of my rope.

My older cat seems to take to the low-energy Siamese kitten better than the Bengal kitten. The Siamese doesn't challenge her authority. She lets my older cat be the boss.

The Bengal, on the other hand, clearly wants to be the Alpha cat when she grows up. She is not intimidated when my older cat smacks her around and she doesn't learn any lessons from it, such as "stay away" or "behave."

I have also noticed changes in my older cat. She doesn't spend as much time during the day tucked next to me on the sofa, purring. Because the new Bengal kitten will chase the new Siamese kitten right past her, knocking her off. So she tries not to be anywhere near a flight zone. And that means usually not sitting anywhere near me. Also, the Siamese kitten has sort of commandeered my lap and will sit in it any chance she gets, which is nearly all the time. I can't seem to keep her out of it. The Siamese kitten is like velcro!*:wink

My older cat will sit near me sometimes. But never on my lap during the day. I can try to put her there, but she won't stay there. I don't think she feels safe. Or maybe she feels like the Siamese is about to jump there and commandeer my lap. (The Siamese is not the smartest Siamese I have ever seen. Sweet, but not smart.)

My older cat will also stand next to me on the sofa, purring. So she does spend some time next to me, by my head. And I do love that. But things have definitely changed, the dynamic in the house, and her behavior.

I sleep with my older cat at night alone, with the kittens in separate rooms, because the Bengal kitten has had an unbelievable slew of health problems, as in Demodex mites (most likely - I know; yikes!) and just diagnosed on Friday was Tritrichomonas foetus. It has been one thing after another. :roll:. I am trying to not have everything spread through the whole house but may end up having to treat everyone for everything anyway. This has just had the added effect of stressing me out even more. But at night, it's like I have my "old buddy" back because my older cat is herself again because she has the bedroom to herself. She purrs, and acts like the Serena I love so much. 

When I let the kittens out in the mornings, things change. My older cat Serena leaves my side and becomes more aloof. She does seem a bit more relaxed as time goes by, as she is hissing less at them. But the Bengal can attack her unexpectedly, or Serena will suddenly hiss at the Bengal or even swat at the Bengal, and I am reminded that she has not accepted her.

She seems to have accepted the Siamese. The only hissing that ever occurs is if the Siamese is playing with the Bengal. Then she might get a little miffed.

I have an agreement with the breeder of the Bengal that she can be returned within six months. But I am wondering: are things really going to change in three months? I have never met a breed like a Bengal before. They KILL their toys. They don't play with them. They "catch" them once, then chew them into piles of unintelligible goo. They definitely want to be alpha cats. They are very intelligent and stubborn. She didn't play nice with her new Siamese friend right away, either, although they are great friends now. So I don't know if the Bengal, who seems very stubborn and strong-willed, has it in her to change and be more lenient toward my older cat. Bengals are hybrid cats with wild in them, and I can really see that wild streak. My older cat won't even play with any toys the Bengal has played with. If she smells her saliva on them, that's it for her.

My older cat was here first. As far as I'm concerned, she is the queen. It is her decision to make, but how long does it take? I do love that the two kittens have each other to play with. I think the Siamese would be bored out of her mind without her friend. I'm really at my wit's end trying to figure this out.

Yes, it has gotten better, but it hasn't resolved.

There is a cat show next weekend. I could make arrangements to have the Bengal transported back to the breeder ... who is not local ... otherwise, the next opportunity wouldn't be until next March. I don't know if things could really be expected to improve by then. Meanwhile the Bengal has cost me and my formerly healthy household a fortune in vet bills.

Can these two cats learn to get along? It is VERY easy between my older cat and the Siamese. But it has been just "more of the same" for the past three months between the Bengal and my older cat.

What do you guys think? One day I feel hopeful, the next day I feel miserable. I don't want to get so attached I can't give her up. Thank you for your advice.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Since I am considering giving up the Bengal kitten in less than a week, I could really use some advice!

It has been a lot of piles of vet bills and fights. It is very discouraging.

The problem is, the breeder lives nowhere near me. So I have next weekend as an opportunity, then I don't have another opportunity until next March at the earliest (if she comes to the local show), and I would have to keep separating them when something happens and keep paying the vet bills.

I have a strong track record on rescuing strays, which I have done because I have a love of purebreds. I used to have that mentioned in my signature, but that was before the forum shortened the profile/signature so I had to remove it.

I know it has only been three months. But I have never seen a breed of cat with a personality like a Bengal before. They have a level of intensity and a prey drive that is unmatched. It feels like the energy level of the house got ramped way up.

If I keep her until March, is there any likelihood that things will change, or will it be more of the same? Plus more likelihood that my other cats will catch her contagious diseases and keeping her locked away after a fight breaks out, or to minimize contact due to disease containment, is stressful.


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

One can never fully predict or guarantee what will happen between cats in the future. However, it's already been three months now, so although I suspect you're not going to see a huge change in the next three months, unless you're willing to put an awful lot of time into their relationship (and even then you might not see too much in the way of results). I've never owned a Bengal, and can't speak to their personality. But, regardless of the breed, what you seem to be describing is a "personality clash" between the cats. 

Only you can ultimately decide what to do, and a lot will depend on how attached you currently are to the Bengal. You should ask yourself, if the Bengal weren't with you next week, would you be happier? And would Sabrina and the Siamese kitten be happier? Based on what you've written, its sounds like the answers to those questions would be "yes". And even the Bengal might be happier in a home where she had more active kittens to play with. 

Finally, kittens are not territorial (their territorial "alpha-cat" instincts don't fully develop until they're over a year...typically around 2 years old). So, the Bengal is not likely trying to establish her position in the household. She just wants to play "rough". That said, given the Bengal's personality, if you end up keeping her, you could have alpha-issues a year or so from now when the Bengal's territorial instincts mature.

As I said above, only you can make this decision...but, reading between the lines of what you've written, it seems that you would be happier if you returned the Bengal next week when you have the opportunity.


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## koobe (Nov 8, 2009)

I actually do not have any advice for you. I am also in the process of introducing a new female kitten to my 2 1 year old boys. 

I hope someone will be able to give you some good advice.
Maybe it is a good idea to talk to the breeder this weekend about returning, or returning when they are not close to you (shipping cost and such).

Good Luck.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

imho, I really don't think the Bengal will change its stripes so to speak. That's their personality. Right now at 11 mos. old she's still in her teenage brat phase. She may settle a bit when she's mature, in another 6 mos. or so, but she may well be more determined to assert her alpha dominance of the house and be even more a misery to your Serena. And life with a cat that is always stalking and attacking is not serene! If I were in your shoes I would definitely keep the Siamese kitty as she's already a welcome catfriend for your older cat, and return the Bengal to the breeder. Life's too short to have to be stressed out and constantly "on guard" to keep things harmonious to my thinking. Let us know how things turn out whatever you decide. All the best!


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

A lot of the stalking has calmed down, but what seems to have revved up is just these ... little cat "fights" out of the blue.*:sad: *

There will be a whole lot of the day with mostly peace, then when they are awake and around each other, I hear Serena hissing ...*


I don't know if the Bengal wants to play and she's bored, or what causes her to suddenly strike out with her paws.

Sometimes Serena will just walk by her and hiss for no apparent reason, as if to say, "I don't like you." Or "I remember the time you ..." 

At other times Serena hisses because the Bengal is swatting her or stalking her. Any attempts at discipline by me are met by the Bengal purring at me or ignoring me.:?


But first thing in the morning, the Bengal will run to Serena and give her a kiss on her cheek.*:daisySerena hisses. 

One thing is, I am SO STRESSED from dealing with: a sick Bengal who has cost me so much $$$ and has two communicable diseases: Demodex mites and now the dreaded Tritrichomonas foetus. TFFelines.com - What is T.F.? At the same time! It has me so stressed it is hard to think objectively just about the cat. And she has been sick ever since I got her.

Thank you for your opinions. Please keep them coming! I dread making this decision since it is irrevocable and I need some objective opinions. Thanks.*:kittyturn


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thanks, Susan. You've given me a lot to think about. I hope others chime in. This is a big decision for me. One I hate making.

I've been taking her out places on her harness. I am attached to her. It is going to be awful if I have to let her go. I did not know that about the "alpha." I just assumed because she is so dominant acting, even the way she rough-houses with the Siamese kitten.

I can't say the Siamese kitten would be happier without the Bengal, because she came from a household teeming with kittens and cats to play with. I think the Siamese would be lonely without the Bengal. Serena tolerates the Siamese, but Serena won't play with her. Serena mostly ignores her. She did groom her one day, when the Bengal wasn't around. Over time if the Bengal wasn't around they might grow closer.

But the Siamese would not have a kitten buddy. I could eventually get her one, but it wouldn't be a Bengal! Frankly, she and the Bengal have gotten along great together. They play great together. They have fun together. The Bengal gets her into all sorts of trouble!* That is, when she isn't kicking her in the face. But all kittens do that.*:smile:

I'm not thinking very straight. Having a Bengal kitten this sick for three months has been a lot of pressure, and having it affect my entire household and get everyone else sick has affected somewhat how I feel about her. It would have helped if she had gotten along with everyone.

I have to admit there is a tiny bit of resentment in that she came into my home and got everyone else sick or potentially sick. And she's not getting along with my resident cat, Serena. So it's this sort of total upheaval. I would love to think, eventually she'll be well and healthy, the household will be healthy and she and Serena will work out their differences. I have tried to be patient.

But then you mention that she hasn't even reached her alpha stage yet. That is a lot to think about. Thank you for bringing that up! And thank you for responding!*:kittyturn

This is a huge decision for me and I really could use some more opinions, so I hope others will chime in! Thank you everyone in advance!*:daisy


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thanks, koobe. I appreciate the good thoughts.:kittyturn
Good luck with your kitten introduction!:catmilk
It is awful when the household is not harmonious. 


Most of the time it is harmonious, but the times it isn't ... well it just plain isn't. And it is clear to me how Serena feels about it. (Although Serena has calmed down about it. It is the Bengal who keeps insisting on pushing the envelope from time to time.) And it is equally clear to me that the Bengal is very smart and very trainable; she just doesn't feel like learning this particular command of "leave Serena alone.":? So when she reaches the bratty teenager stage of two years old and she is feeling her alpha oats, what then? And Serena by then is 13 years old ... I'll bet she would make a great punching bag. I wouldn't put up with that.

I should add -- it is not always clear to me how Serena feels about it. Serena to me has seemed more accepting of the Bengal as time has gone on. But the Bengal has continued her attacks on Serena. They have just gotten more sneaky. She has learned that I will punish her, so she tries to do them when I am not around. They don't seem to happen as often ... but is it because I am in the other room? I will hear hissing and not know what happened. If I go in the other room, I will find the Bengal cornering Serena and I will have to rescue her. 

Thanks again for the well wishes.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

catloverami,

A question for you (or anyone else):

Why would a two-year-old cat want to assert its alpha dominance over a senior cat who at that point will be 13?

What threat will Serena pose to the Bengal once she is in her prime? And Serena just wants to sleep in a sunny window?

Sigh. I don't understand. I could see if she was younger ... but why bother an old cat?


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Some things I really like about my little Bengal:

--She is incredibly smart. (!)
--She can learn voice commands very quickly and I am sure can be clicker trained in a snap. Serena is clicker trained and it is a fun pasttime that cats can really enjoy. 
--She has been a great friend to her Siamese buddy.
--She is a good lap kitty. She purrs and purrs in my lap. Very loveable!:kittyturn
--I can take her on a harness to places like PETCO. It's fun and enjoyable to take her out as a companion.

Things she is a pain about:

--Once she catches a toy, she never lets go of it. Ever. Until it is a pile of mushed up goo. She basically ruins all of her toys. *:wink
--Not leaving Serena alone (although she has gotten better than when I first got her)
--She is a "high maintenance" cat. Has been from a health standpoint. And behavioral standpoint. Finicky eater; if she doesn't like it, won't eat it. Didn't like the litter; she peed in my bed on my mattress and on all the soft towels and kitty beds (there was nothing wrong with her; she did not have a UTI and there were litter boxes all over the house).
--Has to dominate the Siamese kitten in everything they do. Has to hoard the toys, takes the toys away from her, etc.


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

I know this is a rough decision for you to make. I don't think the Bengal's going to change. If the older cat were able to stick up for herself, the Bengal might stop, but it seems as is that's not her nature. I'm so sorry you're having this problem. 

I had this situation between two of my cats years ago. One of my cats had to hide from a stray (Checkers) we took in. Finally, the one being intimidated fought back, and there was a stalemate from then on. The stray did not bother my other two cats. One had seniority, and never had to fight for her position (she was quite dignified, and was very special), and the next stray was a kitten who loved to play with Checkers, and always went back for more. 

I don't know what to advise. I can only commiserate and wish you the best. Good luck!


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

Cats don't think the same way you and I would. You're right...if you and I were living with an old person who just wanted to sit and look out the window, we would just let them be, recognizing they weren't harming anything, and of course out of respect for their age. But that's not how a cat will think. When the Bengal reaches social maturity (around 2) and the Bengal wants to be alpha, then she will assert her authority over all cats in the household, young and old alike. And if the Bengal views the sunny window as a "prime piece of real estate", then she'll want that too!


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## Auntie Crazy (Dec 10, 2006)

As a breed, Bengals are high maintenance; that will not change as the kitten matures.

Have you spoken to the breeder about the Bengal's health issues? So many issues so soon after bringing her home raises a red flag to me. Between that, the Bengal's natural high maintenance requirement and the personality conflicts (although the hissing and swatting is fairly mild stuff), I think you'd be better off returning the Bengal and adopting another kitten the same age/size/energy level of your Siamese, perhaps even one of the Siamese's siblings.

Just my off-the-cuff thoughts.

Good luck!

AC


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## raecarrow (Oct 27, 2009)

Ah, the curse of the extremely smart, energetic, adorable Bengal. I didn't have my Bengals as kittens, so I've never had some of the problems you do. I got my Teddy when he was about a year old, but he was an only cat at that point. My biggest issue was keeping him out the trash and the dog food bin at my parents' house when I would visit them. He still had a LOT of kitten energy until he was almost 2 then he started to mellow out a bit. I've also haven't had problems with toys that have been chewed to goo. I've had gutted toys with fluff thrown all over the place but not chewed beyond recognition.

I got his littermate from the same breeder a year ago they are now great friends and often sleep together. HOWEVER, at least two or three times a day they will get to chasing eachother about the house pouncing, grabbing, kicking, and swatting at each other. They both seem to enjoy it, but it is very rough play. I think that is just how Bengals are. 

Just one question, how much do you actively play with the Bengal kitten? A good, long tiring play session with an interactive toy like Da Bird may help even her temperment out a bit.

If that doesn't work, she may just not be the right cat for your home. She may just be too energetic and rough and tumble for your older cat. I have to say that I love the Bengal breed, but will be the first to say, they are not for everyone.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Because that's her nature? Your Bengal has a dominant nature. She wants to be the queen of the house, Serena is so far, but the Bengal keeps wanting to knock her off the throne. 
The problem with this kind of constant stress in a senior cat, always having to be on her guard, never knowing when an attack is coming, is very hard on Serena mentally and physically, and will likely result in a deterioration of _her_ health. 
This happened to me with two cats where a neutered male hated his spayed half-sister and did exactly like your Bengal does with stalking and vicious attacks. The male ended up getting a bladder tumor and died at age 15, but his half-sister got cancer in her spine. When he died she did have a few years more of peace and was a very happy and contented cat not having to hide and much more affectionate to me knowing she could come in my lap for cuddles without getting an attack later. I found it a big relief too and realized it was causing me a lot of stress, even tho I loved the male as he was a very sweet cat with me that I'd raised as a kitten. I don't know if that helps but that's my experience. 
Sometimes it just doesn't work out in a household where a cat is just a s---t disturber and the other cats and owner are under stress. You might read thro the thread in *Cat Chat* of _Marie73_'s experience with Gigi in "Life with Gigi" and "Update on Gigi".


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## mimitabby (Apr 20, 2010)

I'd return the gorgeous vivacious (and unhealthy) Bengal if the breeder is willing to take her back. YOu will never forgive yourself for the damage that is happening to your older cat. I think you're lucky that the breeder will take her back. 
I think Serena will thank you !!


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thank you, Jeanie. Today was very difficult for me.

I went out and bought an inexpensive carrier in case I decide to return her.*:-(

I also called an animal behaviorist, the same one who evaluated Serena and said she would be a good match for a kitten -- although she had recommended a Siamese. Ironically, their energy seems great together. Tsuki is my Siamese. I think Serena tolerates Tsuki ... I won't say she is in love with her, but for the most part she doesn't hiss at her unless she is playing with my Bengal.

The animal behaviorist said if I decide to keep my Bengal awhile longer, we could try some behavior modification techniques. They will never be the best of friends but may be able to co-exist under the same roof.

The breeder did give me until next year. But I don't live anywhere near her. And I will only have access this weekend, and then not again until either March or April or May, depending on when the breeder comes down my way. But by that time I felt I would just be too attached. Already I almost feel like I can't give her up. So I feel it was best if I tried to make a decision now. But in a way the decision almost feels forced, as if I haven't tried everything I can yet.

I could try the animal behaviorist route ... and see if their relationship could be mended.

I am pretty exhausted with trying out all these scenarios in my head, and trying to figure out which one is the best one.

Tsuki, my Siamese, wants to cry all night when she is by herself. So I already know that would be a problem if she didn't have her friend. Of course I could get her another friend. All these things keep running through my mind.

Another thing complicating the cat dynamics is that one of Serena's favorite rooms, the only one that gets sunlight in the daytime, is blocked to her right now because of the Demodex mites on the Bengal. It is the room that the Bengal sleeps in and stays in because she is contagious, although I do let her out. I can't let anyone else in there. I can't explain the situation to Serena ... but it probably creates more resentment on Serena's part. When Serena lashes out, the Bengal is going to retaliate. But given the Bengal's nature, she is probably going to start something anyway!

I wish Serena was like your dignified one and didn't have to fight for her position. She does fight back, and I wish it has ended in a stalemate like your situation did, but it doesn't seem it is in a Bengal's nature to let things end in a stalemate.

Thank you for your kind thoughts!:kittyturn


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Susan, I hadn't thought of it that way. The room does have enough sunny places so that more than one cat would have sun ... or, frankly, I could lock the Bengal out of the sunny room and let Serena have it! She only has it now because I had nowhere else to put the Bengal, but I have lowered the shade so there is no sun, so I have taken away that fringe benefit. In fact, I really should switch rooms and give the Bengal the Siamese's room, which isn't prime real estate, and give the Siamese the Bengal's room. Except that the Bengal, fussy princess that she is, requires two giant litter boxes. Why is this? Because otherwise we might go outside our box. Yes, we need one to urinate in and one to defecate in. So I give her two, just to be very, very and I do mean very safe.:wink Tsuki, my Siamese, is very happy with her one box. Why are Bengals so high maintenance? Honestly, I have never met such a high maintenance cat in my life.

Don't get me wrong; I know the rule about one box plus one per cat. I'm just saying that my Bengal as a kitten was the first to have a GIANT clean litter box and immediately start peeing and pooing outside of it. I had never had a kitten do that before. So much fun.


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

I had a somewhat similar problem when I adopted Abby, since she scared the heck out of Muffin. In my case, however, it wasn't because Abby was so rough or high-maintenance (like your Bengal)...Abby was just a normal, playful kitten. But Muffs was a scaredy-cat. I think a Bengal would have given poor Muffin a heart attack! 

Anyway, I ended up hiring a behaviorist and went through a behavior modification program with my two girls. It worked, since Muffs and Abby are now good friends. Through the program Muffs learned to stick up for herself. But, it was a LOT of work. It took three months. I work full-time and, for three months, my life consisted of only two things -- work and cats! Except now and then when I'd turn on the vaccum cleaner, which kept both cats quiet!


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thank you, Auntie Crazy, for chiming in.nekitty

I have not been able to reach the breeder (I've left three phone messages; I think she is out of town) to tell her about the T. foetus. I wonder what she will say. I think she should pay for treatment of my household, though I am worried about how it will affect my oldest cat.

High maintenance; you are not kidding! There are rewarding moments when I think it is worth it, but they are high maintenance. And unless they all get along, it won't be worth it. 

The Siamese's siblings are all spoken for, unfortunately. 

And these two have really bonded. I know it makes for an odd combo, a Siamese and a Bengal, but they are cute together and play well together! Except when the Bengal is stealing Tsuki's (the Siamese's) toys or when I try to play with one with a feather stick toy and the other with a feather stick toy and the Bengal ends up with both feather toys in her mouth.:wink Poor Tsuki. I almost have to lock up the Bengal to give Tsuki some quality play time. Of course you can imagine the yeowling that commences. I have to say though that the sight of the Bengal with two feather toys in her mouth is fairly hilarious. Removing them is extremely difficult.

I could also get an Oriental Shorthair, which has a similar personality to a Siamese. At this point it probably wouldn't be Tsuki's age. It would probably be younger, maybe by a year or two, but Tsuki came from a household of cats and kittens of all ages. 

Something else I am considering is an animal behaviorist as an option to bring peace to my home. It wouldn't make Serena and the Bengal best friends, but maybe they would at least be able to share the same space comfortably. If it doesn't work, I could give her back to the breeder next spring and at least at that point I could say I have tried everything and nothing worked. But the downside is, at that point the Bengal will be older and I will be even more attached to her. I am already so attached that I am wondering if I can even give her up now. Can anyone even pry her from my arms now? What about in four months? I am a real softie and every rescue was always so hard for me to let go of.

So do I go off the evidence I have, make a quick and hard decision, but then wonder if I did everything I could -- or make that last-ditch effort to dig in and bring in professional help? Will it always be nagging at me, that "what if?"

Today really has been exhausting.

Thank you for your good wishes!:kittyturn


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Susan, I am glad to know your behavior modification program worked for you. I have dropped so much money already on vet bills, plus I feel like years have been added to my life.

Serena is not a push-over. My Bengal isn't either. So meet two women (a house full of ladies only) who are not push-overs. The only push-over in the bunch is Tsuki, the Siamese. No wonder she's the only one everyone gets along with!:smile:

(The Bengal is spayed and so is Serena.)


My brother wants to come down and visit, but something tells me that if this does happen that this would be a bad time ... am I right? Besides, where am I going to put him ... in the Demodex mite-infested bedroom (this sounds worse than it is, since they don't bother humans) or squished in the smaller bedroom with Tsuki?

Serena loves to be vacuumed. She likes it when I take her entire tail and suck it up inside the vacuum nozzle.The Bengal is fascinated by Serena's approach to the vacuum. I'm hoping she'll learn from Serena's approach and maybe even learn to like the vacuum.

It would also REALLY help if everyone in the household was healthy! That way the kids (two kittens) could start sharing a bedroom. Oh, wait ... no, they can't do that until after Tsuki is spayed. Because the Bengal is an obsessive groomer and I'm afraid she'll rip Tsuki's stitches out. I want her to be used to sleeping alone for now. After Tsuki is spayed and once everyone in the house has been lyme sulfur dipped and is free of T. foetus then we can talk about sharing bedrooms.

So, it was a lot of work? What I wonder is, can the work I do match the will of an ornery little Bengal and an older cat who has had a "I want to be (left) alone" Greta Garbo attitude toward the Bengal.

I'm relieved to hear that it worked for you! Did your cats have to wear bells on their collars by any chance? And what did you do when they are in other parts of the house and you can't see them? My behaviorist wants video ... good luck when I can barely catch them in the act ...:kittyturn


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

Neither of mine wore a bell, because the program required Abby to be locked up in my dining room for the entire three months. She and Muffs were separated by a screen and everything positive between them had to happen on either side of the screen (petting, grooming, feeding, playing, etc.). As for your brother coming over...well, let's put it this way, anyone who came to visit me during those three months (mainly my kids) were given a cat toy with instructions to go play!


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thanks, raecarrow, for your reply!:daisy

Are both of your Bengals boys? I love the pix you have of them in your sig. I will say that having a Bengal is quite special. I hate the thought of having to get rid of mine. But my resident cat comes first and she has to be happy. Or at least they have to be able to tolerate each other, as in they may not be buddies, but they need to be able to live under the same roof.

Yes, I do actively play with my Bengal and I also take her places on her harness. She goes to PETCO and other pet stores with me. Although feather toys are hard to play with as she grabs them and doesn't let go.:wink I have to get creative and not let her catch them. I've tried a laser pointer, and I think she likes it, but I want her to enjoy catching something. Interactive play is challenging, as when she catches toys she doesn't want to let go of them!

I've worn her completely out before -- or so I've thought -- and then had her turn around and jump on Serena.

She is a girl, so I don't think her rough and tumble is the same as a boy's, but still, she is a Bengal.

Thank you for your response as a Bengal owner!:kittyturn


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thank you, catloverami. :catmilkI will look up those threads about Gigi.
Unfortunately, I wonder even with the Bengal gone if things will ever be the same now that I have brought kittens into the household. Even the Siamese causes her some stress, since the Siamese is like velcro clinging to my lap. I can put Tsuki in another room and try to coax Serena onto my lap, but Serena is aware that Tsuki is there because she is in the other room nonstop meowing, which I suspect is stressful to her.

Today there was mostly peace in the household. At least outwardly. (Like you said, there could be a lot of internal stress going on with Serena.) And I had a lot of internal stress from trying to figure out what to do.:? And there was a scuffle later in the day.

I do not want to cause Serena to have stress or to live an unhappy life. If measures cannot be taken to remove the stress from the household, other than removing the Bengal kitten, then I will have to. The other thing I am considering is an animal behaviorist and behavior modification. The kitten is young enough that maybe an impact could be made. And Serena is old enough that I should be able to see whether it could help her.

But behavior modification is more time and money. And work! And I can't imagine the process would be stress-free. I suppose I have to work at staying relaxed during the process, should I choose to undergo it. Breathe in ... breathe out ...

I want Serena to have a wonderful old age. I suppose I could give BOTH kittens back and just have her. Although she seems mostly okay with the Siamese. She may have preferred to be an only cat, but Tsuki likes to be one of many cats, as that is the kind of lively household she grew up in, and she's a velcro lap cat, so that's a conflict. So I don't know how to give Serena what she wants at this point.

I know the Siamese would be quieter without a friend as she wouldn't be running through the house with an unpredictable Bengal. But she'd be louder at night as she would cry if she could not be in bed with us. And Serena definitely wants me at night to herself. I don't blame her and I'm not willing to budge on that point, at least not until she shows me she has accepted the kitten(s).

If I thought anything was making Serena stressed to the point of making her ill, I would toss them all out. Serena's health isn't worth any kitten to me. So I will definitely think about what you have said. Thank you very much.:kittyturn
I will say that Serena's "I'm BORED, Mom!" meowing has stopped since I got the kittens. And her OCD tail-chasing, which started after her 18-year-old Oriental Shorthair buddy passed away in April, has finally stopped. So maybe something good has come of it?


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

mimitabby,
Thank you for your thoughts!
You may be right and the decision may be as simple as that. I could feel better and Serena feels better and all of the torture is over. Wouldn't that be great if I felt relieved over my decision!

Or I may wonder if I did enough and wish I had tried the behavior modification to see if it could have worked.

But you are right: I would never forgive myself if any damage were to happen to my older cat.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

So it wasn't about the aggressive cat wearing a bell and then trying to catch them in the act, then; I see.

I wonder how it works when only one person lives in the household (me). I'm curious if the behaviorist is going to want both cats to be petted at the same time. Since I can only be on one side of the door, one is going to be having the positive experience and the other one is going to be feeling left out. (Oh dear.) And I have no screen; I have a solid door. If I were to have someone install a screen door, that would cost more $$. Did you have a special install done? 

Also, in my home's layout, it would mean the cat behind the screen door would never go to sleep. Right now, the Bengal knows her cue to going to sleep is when her door shuts. It takes her a few minutes, but then she settles down. If I understand correctly the screen door would never shut and therefore she would never sleep at night:wink ... just thinking outloud here ... my house is laid out a little differently than yours. The only rooms I have to separate a cat are bedrooms that are close to my bedroom.

I have tried putting the Bengal in "her" room, and she gets destructive. When she gets locked in one room, she gets frustrated and yeowls nonstop and she destroys things in the room. It isn't a pretty picture.:wink I wonder if behavior modification was designed with Bengals in mind! Oh, and the yeowling gets old so fast.:smile: It makes me want to tear my hair out. I wonder if this is the same kind of behavior modification that this animal behaviorist has in mind.

The difference between behavior modification and my regular door is that when I put the Bengal in "her" room, it is a solid door. If it were a screen door and she could look out on the rest of the house, she might feel more a part of everything and less left out, so she might be less likely to meow constantly.

Thank you for letting me know a little more about the process!:kittyturn


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## raecarrow (Oct 27, 2009)

Yes, both my Bengals are boys. I love those pictures of them. Leo is hard to get a picture of because he is so skittish. He is curious and very intelligent, but if I catch him doing something cute, he usually runs off before I can get my camera. I think both of my boys are pretty special  They are very interesting kitties.

As to the yowling... OMG I know how horrible that can get. Neither of my boys like car rides, but every so often I drag them up to my parents' house when I am going to visit them for a long weekend or if I need them to watch the boys for me. It is 2 and a half hours of NON-STOP yowling, at least from Teddy anyway. Leo settles down in his crate and just glares at me with a "how dare you" look in his eyes. Teddy is usually on his halter sitting in the back window of the car. What is really fun is when he decides he wants to climb on the dash board and weave in and out of the steering wheel while I'm doing 70 down the highway. So I try to keep him in the back seat. I'm very tempted to get a mini-van or SUV crossover thing just so I can get a barrier to keep them in the back. 

Oh, I have to keep Teddy out of a crate because he has a history of UTIs and if he is made to hold it he can easily get in infection... or pee all over the crate like he did one time -sigh- so I keep a litter box in the back seat for him.

But the yowling is so nerve-racking, though I'm getting used to ignoring it on car rides I can imagine at night it makes it VERY hard to sleep. Its more akin to a dog howling and crying rather than a normal cat. It just sounds so wild and crazy.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

I may have some breathing room, because last night I spoke with the woman who could take her back to the breeder for me. She said she sometimes comes down to this area and also knows some people in this area who sometimes travel her direction. (I do not know her that well, though, so I don't know how often she gets to this area.) So that I might not have to make the decision between having to give her back this weekend or waiting until next March/April/May. (Depending on which of those shows the Bengal breeder is coming to.) So it may not be as all-or-nothing and takes some of the pressure off me to figure this out right away.

Still, if I do figure it out by the weekend, it is done and over with.

Although one advantage of me keeping her through her treatment is that I will know that she will get her six lyme sulfur dips for demodex mites. (She goes today for her second treatment.) And that she will get her capsules for T. foetus. Which I don't trust the breeder to do. I realize it shouldn't be my responsibility at this point, but this poor cat has been through enough without at least having her health issues resolved. The breeder sent me what was supposedly her paperwork proving she went one time to the vet, but there isn't even a vet name/phone # on it. It looks like her own internal records and like she was never examined by a veterinarian. I doubt they would spring for the bucks it takes for a round of lyme sulfur dips or the proper medication/tests for T. foetus.

I know this shouldn't be my problem, but part of me has always been waiting for this kitten to be healthy. We would be very close after the lyme sulfur dips and two weeks of capsules for the T. foetus (although she may need another round and more testing in the future).

If she had been healthy, how much of this would have gone differently? I would think potentially a lot, or at least some of it. The kittens could have shared a room, and Serena could have had her sunroom back, and maybe she would not have felt so much jealousy over having one of her favorite rooms taken away by the Bengal. That has caused complications. It is one of her favorite hangouts during the day and has now been comandeered by the Bengal. I did not think the Bengal would be in there for three months and that it would be off limits to Serena during the day (since it is contaminated) but that is how it has turned out.

Serena was the aggressor just now, after breakfast. She just swiped at the Bengal and hissed. So they can both be the aggressors. I just want to nip this whole thing in the bud. Maybe they will never get along, but maybe they could learn to at least pass by each other in the hallway without bothering each other?

It goes without saying that a successful outcome would have to include Serena not being stressed out. If she is stressed or indicating stress then to me, that means it hasn't worked.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

I really think the breeder is responsible for the $$$ you've spent to treat this Bengal. Did she come with a health guarantee? Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best in making this difficult decision.


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## mimitabby (Apr 20, 2010)

one other thing. You asked why your bengal is so high maintenance. Bengals are a cross between domesticated cats and wild cats. YOur siamese and Serena have the advantage of hundreds of years of their ancestors living side by side with human beings. the Bengal, instead, is a hybrid with some of its behaviors coming from WILD cats, the others, from domestic cats. So what you have here is a bunch of conflicts, on the one hand, she wants to be like the other kitties, but she is NOT like the other kitties, she has the wild genes in her which make her stronger and more aggressive in situations that regular domestic cats have lost that wild edge... 
I'm glad to know you are not forced to make a decision today, good luck.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

I wanted everyone to know I have decided to try to work with the animal behaviorist. She comes recommended by my vet and I did work with her once befoe. She says the program takes 30 days but I don't have any details yet. My appointment with her is next Tuesday Nov. 23 so after the cat show this weekend. At least that way I will feel like I will have tried everything.

I have also realized that it is not always the Bengal that is doing the attacking.The animal behaviorist asked me to closely watch the cats. Two days ago, all three attacks were initiated by Serena. This isn't always the case, but I don't know if that day it was fear-based aggression (fear of being attacked? or just a pre-emptive strike?) but two of them happened in the kitchen, and one was toward the Siamese, who had done nothing. Serena gets riled up in the morning around breakfast time. It used to be a time when she used to play-box her old friends before meals, when she was the younger kitten. Now she has no one to play-box, but she still remembers the boxing part, only now it isn't playful.:?

Another attack that day was when the kittens were in the bathroom with me and Serena is used to being in there with me. Serena wanted to walk in and the Bengal greeted her at the bathroom doorway and Serena attacked her as if to say, "Get out of my doorway." Both times I put her in a room and shut the door. Just briefly, to let her know that it wasn't okay to do that.

The Bengal has done her share of stalking attacks and staring attacks. She also will walk up to Serena and smell her butt and just not stop smelling it; just continue to do it in a really obnoxious way, like she is trying to get her entire nose up there. It almost seems like a dominance thing but it goes on for way too long as though it isn't social. And if she comes across Serena's Feline Pine box, she will sometimes urinate in it even though she hates Feline Pine litter. Go figure. There are some other things I am forgetting; I really should write them down. Oh, and she'll "kiss" Serena right on the mouth every morning when she greets her, but somehow I don't think it is friendly. Maybe it is?

Then last night the two of them, the Bengal and Serena, were sitting so angelically, side by side, on the sofa behind my head, that I thought I would faint. :catmilkI thought to grab my camera but I didn't want to spoil the moment. By the time I had adjusted lighting, etc ... they were so cute. And relaxed.

Here's hoping this animal behaviorist can help!:kittyturn


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

She had some lame clause in her contract about anything found within the first 72 hours.:?

There is more to this story ... I informed the breeder last night that my vet found T. foetus and apparently she did not know that T. foetus could be identified under a microscope by a competent vet. She now doesn't believe that my cat has T. foetus nor that her cattery is infected. Had I known she was going to react this way, I would have had my vet take the sample which was teeming with T. foetus and send it out to a lab ... she was shedding so much of the virus at the time ... and at the moment she isn't shedding ... so I would have to wait until the next round of shedding, which is awful for the cat because that means they are passing blood and mucous in their stool. All because this breeder doesn't believe my vet. Her vet did test her cats at one time, and her vet was using -- to be polite, I will call it a very unreliable fecal collection method -- no wonder her tests were coming up negative. My vet saw the organisms live under a microscope. If you have a Bengal breeder that is so ignorant that she doesn't even realize that T. foetus can be identified under a high-powered microscope, that's just scary. 

So now I feel like I have a whole cattery depending on me. The problem is, not any stool sample will do. It has to be a diarrhea sample. Not soft stool. And my Bengal went from diarrhea to now soft stool. This is one of the problems in catching T. foetus. It is tricky. It sheds. It goes in cycles. Anyway, she isn't having bloody diarrhea anymore. Do I wait to start the medication, which I will receive today? And do I try to get another diarrhea sample to my vet to send out to a lab, which could take weeks? But this would prove to this irresponsible breeder that her cattery is infected.

Another problem with catching T. foetus in a cattery is that once these older cats used for breeding have been exposed to T. foetus for longer than two years, they won't have diarrhea anymore. It will resolve. And because they won't have diarrhea, they will still have T. foetus and pass it along to their kittens, but you won't ever be able to get a positive test. And you can't take a stool sample from them and ever expect to get a positive result because they need a diarrheic sample or it is a waste of time.

Meanwhile she keeps unleashing kittens with T. foetus upon the world and then infecting entire multicat households. This has got to stop. And all of this because she doesn't believe my vet, who finally found it!

At any rate, if I can get my vet a soft stool sample today I will take it to her, in a very dim hope that she may be able to get a glimpse of T. foetus. If she can, she can send it off to the lab and maybe we'll get a positive result.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thanks, mimitabby. I'm glad I'm not forced to make the decision today, either! I'm glad I have some more time and another resource, the animal behaviorist, to see how all of this plays out. Hopefully there will be a more positive outcome.

This morning Serena has been sitting behind my head (one of her usual hangouts) and the Bengal is in my lap, so her domestic side must be at the forefront this morning,:smile: and Tsuki has mostly been thinking about breakfast.Then she'll crawl into my lap again but I think she is still thinking about breakfast ... I don't feed them when they first wake up because I try not to train them into being alarm clock kitties.

The vet's office tells me that when the Bengal gets her lyme sulfur dips that she talks a lot. She tells them all day about everything that happened. She tells me all about it when I go to pick her up, and she tells me all about it on the way home. She isn't happy until I have her out of the carrier and until I am holding her.

Serena has been seeming slightly more relaxed to me. Not that she is accepting of them, but just that she realizes they have their moments when they are quiet, and when they are quiet, she seems to realize that she can be quiet, too. Also, she doesn't seem to be in their flight path as often as they grow older, which is a relief to me and Serena both.


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## mimitabby (Apr 20, 2010)

glad things are going better, Missy! So what is the origin of that virus, btw? is it a tropical thing? I had never heard of it before!


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

I've been out of cat breeding for quite some time now, but I had never heard of *T. foetus* before. So I found a link. I was shocked to read that it is transmittable to people. So be careful....wash hands well, etc. Sounds like this takes a long time to clear in cats.

Tritrichomonas foetus infection in cats


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thank you, mimitabby. I was able to get my vet a nice, fresh sample of fecal matter today. (I haven't started treating my Bengal baby with Ronidazole yet. I want to wait until I get a positive T. foetus test from a third-party lab, which looks like it will be soon!) Although it wasn't diarrhea, it was soft stool and luckily she was able to see live T. foetus in it. She showed them to me under a microscope, which was exiting, because I have seen the videos of them on the North Carolina State website! So we are rushing them off to the Antech lab for a culture. Hopefully it will turn up positive (the only reason it wouldn't is the organism is sensitive and it could die in transit but my vet feels confident so I feel confident, too!) I want to be able to show that breeder positive proof from a third-party lab that yes, this cat has T. foetus and her cattery is infected and she needs to do something about it. I am paying $70 for a test I don't need to see just to show this breeder that her cattery has T. foetus. Although even with proof positive this breeder will still somehow convince herself that her cattery doesn't have it.:? 

As for your question as to where does it come from, they do not know. There is no _direct_ evidence that this parasite traveled from cattle to felines. Scientists don't at this point know what happened. Their research on it is still in its very early stages since it did not exist in cats prior to (I think?) 1996. I could have the wrong year there.

A good site to learn more about it, in layman friendly terms, is TFFelines.com - Home .

There is an Owner's Guide to T. foetus that was last updated (as of this writing) December 2009. It was written by Dr. Jody Gookin of North Carolina State University.

Dr. Jody Gookin is the one who has pioneered research into the only known cure for T. foetus for cats. That would be Ronidazole. It is a toxic substance, and humans handling it need to wear gloves, and watch for neurological complications in their cats, but as of now it is the only thing that can cure them of the parasite. I also recommend visiting Dr. Jody Gookin's website: Department of Clinical Sciences :: North Carolina State University College of Veterinary Medicine I have briefly spoken with her and she is extremely nice. She cleared up a statistic in the Owner's Guide for me.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

catloverami,

Thank you, but (boldface added by me) that is actually not quite accurate. What is stated is,

"_Although not proven,_ it is thought that T foetus _may_ be able to infect humans; _as a precaution_ people in contact with infected cats are advised to take basic hygiene precautions to avoid ingesting the parasite.

So while it may very well be true, but because we don't know, I do take all necessary precautions. But it has not been proven at this point.

The parasite can only live a very short time -- 30 minutes to an hour -- when it is not in wet fecal matter. It is usually transmitted if a cat steps in wet fecal matter and then licks or grooms the wet fecal matter off its coat. Even in wet fecal matter, conditions would have to be ideal for it to live longer. 

In case anyone else is dealing with T. foetus, a couple of things in that article are slightly out-of-date: many labs run T. foetus tests; one does not have to get the test done through North Carolina State University. There are also several types of tests done: one which works with both live and dead types of the organism, or one which tests only live types of the organism. Or one can have a competent vet ID it under the microscope if one gets lucky with a good fresh bloody and mucous filled sample as I did. (Then again, my vet IDd it again today in a soft stool sample with a little saline added and there they were, swimming around like crazy.) It can't be over an hour old. Also the protocol has changed to 35 mg/kg of Ronidazole. It does talk about IDing it under a microscope, which is very basic and I could not believe this breeder had never heard of this before. I have spoken with Bengal breeders who have their own microscopes, their own pouches for growing the organism, etc. 

Thanks for sharing this article! I appreciate that it stated the most basic thing of all: that it can be identified under a microscope. :kittyturn

As for how long it takes to clear in cats, that very much depends on the individual cat. We will continue to test her and monitor her and the rest of the house.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

I had to change the appointment with the animal behaviorist to Friday because Serena was feeling a bit under the weather, but she's fine now.

But I'm feeling disheartened and I'm not sure if spending $180 on this animal behaviorist is worth it. Also she doesn't seem the best at returning phone calls. So how will she be when I need her advice as we haven't even started yet? (Her program is supposed to have unlimited phone/email support.)

Last night the Bengal growled at Tsuki when she went to sit next to her. This isn't the first time this has happened. She is supposed to be her friend, but she's growling and they are only kittens. And this isn't play-growling like play fighting but territorial "this is my lap; get off it" growling. I corrected her and said "no."

If I want to play with Tsuki with a stick toy, I have to put the Bengal in a room behind a closed door and then play with Tsuki. And while I'm doing that, the Bengal howls like bloody murder. But if the Bengal is out, she'll bully Tsuki and grab the stick toy and Tsuki will never get a chance to play.

All of Tsuki's favorite toys, like the "real" mice, I can't let her play with either when the Bengal is around because the Bengal will steal them away from Tsuki and try to eat them. Even if I give the Bengal her own, she'll take Tsuki's away from her. I have to lock the Bengal away before I give them to Tsuki to play with. Again more howling and hysterics. I love my Bengal; but she has some quirks and she doesn't share toys; she destroys them. Also, this is unsafe for my Bengal as she could hurt herself, so I have had to stop giving her the "real" looking mice.

I could give the Bengal back to the breeder and at some point add either an Oriental Shorthair like the one I lost or another Siamese who would have the same temperament. But for now, I would do neither of those things. I would just hope that Serena and Tsuki would learn to get along better. Maybe they would without a Bengal in the mix.

I know it is only 30 days and maybe if I don't try the animal behaviorist I will be saying "what if" because I am pretty emotionally invested at this point. But even an animal behaviorist can't change certain basic things, like a Bengal wanting to shred its toys to bits or dominating the other kitten to the point I have to lock the Bengal away in order to play with the other kitten, or growling at the other kitten when it just wants to sit next to it.

I feel emotionally drained and want the house to be less stressful and not take so much out of me.

I could ask this one lady if she could take her back to the breeder over the Thanksgiving Day holiday. One issue is that the Bengal has not had all of her lyme sulfur dips to cure her of Demodex mites and I don't trust the breeder to continue the treatments because they are expensive. Nor do I trust her to give her the Ronidazole for the T. foetus. I am still waiting for the results of the culture.

I keep bouncing from wanting to get her out of the house right away to wanting to try the animal behaviorist. I know it doesn't make sense. I feel under a lot of stress.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

I don't envy that ping pong in your head right now....should I or shouldn't I? atback It's a tough position to be in and as you say very stressful. Been in similar situation and I feel for you. 

Since you've called the behaviourist I would go ahead with her, and see if she can work some kind of miracle, maybe she has some insight or suggestions no one has offered here. It if doesn't work out whatever she suggests, you will know that you've done everything you can, and you can return the Bengal to the breeder _better_ than you received her. Hope this helps. And have a happy thanksgiving!


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

Prior to hiring a behaviorist, my girls couldn't be within 10 feet of each other without an all-out cat fight breaking out. Three weeks after I started the program, they were playing footsies under the door. If I ever encountered any behavioral problem that I wasn't able to deal with, I wouldn't hesitate to use a behaviorist again.

BUT, you have to get a good behaviorist. Have you checked out any references for the one you will be using. I was provided with over two dozen references from satisfied pet owners for the behaviorist I used, four of which related to the identical problem I was having. If you haven't been provided with any references, you should ask for some. If you hear from people she's helped in the past, that might ease your mind. If she won't or can't provide references, I might think twice. 

The only concern I have is that you earlier said the behaviorist told you the program would take 30 days. Perhaps you misunderstood, or perhaps she said "on average 30 days", or it "normally takes 30 days", etc. But, no behaviorist is able to predict in advance how long any program will take (or even whether it will ultimately be successful). So, if your behaviorist is claiming to be able to do so, I would be a little wary.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thank you; it is a ping pong. Right now my heart is telling me, don't bother with the animal behaviorist, which honestly I can't even afford. I need new tires on my car! Serena needs a dental! I know I will always wonder "what if ..." but this is expensive for me. And the house feels so unbalanced. Maybe I am just having a bad day. I also do not know any of the tools that an animal behaviorist uses, so I don't know what to expect.
Thank you for your kind thoughts; they are much appreciated!
On a positive note, the test results for T. foetus came back. While the less reliable pouch test (which relies on live T. foetus to be present) came back negative, the more reliable PCR test, which tests for both live and dead T. foetus, came back positive! So now I have proof positive from a third-party lab to show the breeder that my Bengal tested positive for T. foetus. Now she must realize that her cattery has it. I'm sure she'll want to blame my other cats, but they have zero symptoms.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thanks, Susan. I should have been more clear. She stated I should begin to see improvement within the first 30 days. She indicated it was something that would have to be continually worked on after that; that problems didn't just disappear, but that the initial intensity of the aggression should hopefully diminish over time, if the exercises were continued, etc.

That is a good point about references. I used her back in April and I did not ask her for references because she was recommended by my vet, whom I trust. I did like her, though. But I did call a second animal behaviorist today, and this one I did ask about references. She was happy to provide them (although I haven't checked the email yet). I agree; always ask about references! I feel that now it would be a bit awkward to bring it up.

But, I have almost made my decision to let the Bengal go. It is terribly painful but I think it might be best for everyone. Except I worry about who the sweet little Bengal will end up with for a home. She deserves a good home. And I am so attached to her.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

I am torn.

I am back to thinking about keeping the animal behaviorist appointment on Friday.

The thought of letting the little Bengal go is killing me.

I have already placed a call to the breeder so will have to think of some excuse if she calls me. Or let voice mail catch it since I don't know what I'm doing yet.:? I don't know when I've been more confused.

But what seems clear is while I don't have the money, if I don't spend the money I will be in agony wondering if I gave her up too soon wondering if I tried every possible solution. Even though it is money I should be spending on tires, on on the Bengal's vet bills, or on Serena's dental. But my little Bengal is smart. Her behavior has calmed a lot. I have acted as the alpha in the house and she has responded to that. Now the question is, can the two of them accept each other, or is it just not possible?

I don't know if I will get much sleep tonight. I only have until tomorrow to either cancel the animal behaviorist appointment or go forward with it.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

I ended up deciding to go with a different animal behaviorist. I have an appointment with her on Tuesday. She breaks hers down into two sessions. One now, and one three to four weeks from now, which is optional and up to me and covers more advanced techniques. She says we should be able to see in the next 30 days whether things are improving with the Bengal. It is better for me financially to do it this way.

She says it is going to be a lot of hard work, which scares me a little. I don't know what she means by this. I am up for hard work, but I also feel I have been putting a lot of time into this already and I cannot have eyes on them constantly, if that is what she means.

I thought I could let the Bengal go, but then I realized if I didn't at least try this, I would wonder what could have happened. I did place a call to the breeder and left a message on her voice mail (originally about making arrangements to get the Bengal back to her today), but I only said, "please call me" and did not say what it was about. I don't know what to say now, and I don't want to tell her, as she will think I am being wishy-washy and she may demand her kitten back right away. I'll have to think of some excuse.

I've been observing and a lot of Serena's behavior has been her swatting at them when they come too close to her. She seems to have a low tolerance level for them. The Bengal has mostly been behaving herself, although I did see her chase her once the other night (and once is all it takes, to terrify an older cat) and I saw her pounce on her (same thing; once is all it takes). These things can happen right in front of me and I can't get to them fast enough to stop them. All I can do is say "NO" and banish the Bengal in her room in a time-out afterwards. But that night was unusual as the Bengal has mostly been well-behaved lately. It's Serena who has been on edge, and I don't blame her. Since most of the times things are peaceful, I don't know how I can reward them for positive behavior. Hopefully the behaviorist can help me with that.

I've been letting Serena and Tsuki spend time alone in the mornings without the Bengal the past two mornings. It has seemed to work better and seems to have calmed Serena down somewhat. It is better than the alarm going off and her immediately being subjected to two kittens entering her domain from behind closed doors. Now it is just one kitten, and it is the quieter kitten. She seems to be handling that a lot better.


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## paperbacknovel (Jun 9, 2010)

I wish you luck and understand what you mean by wanting to try everything before giving the Bengal back...but really, YES you can ALWAYS try something else, but where do you stop? Do you mortgage your home (if you have one) or take out major loans, which you might have to do to treat this cat AND provide the care you want for your older cat AND afford the behaviorist? I mean, you CAN do that, but is it the best thing to do for YOU and your first cat? I totally understand your worry about whether the bengal will get a good home, but it seems to me like the presence of the bengal in YOUR home is causing YOUR home not to be a good home for Serena! 

I worry that you are making decisions that will hurt you more in the long run, though I perfectly understand WHY you are making those decisions. *hug* I'm sure it's incredibly difficult. But between this new cat's health problems and behavior incompatibility, the quality of life for you and Serena has greatly decreased. You can't provide a good home for this new cat if you can't keep a good home for you and your first cat in the first place. Does that make sense?


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Update: I didn't have the appointment with the behaviorist last Tuesday, because she is having health issues.:? We rescheduled again for last Thursday but again she canceled. Apparently she is scheduled for surgury on Dec. 15 but it looks like it may end up being emergency surgery. Meanwhile, I am on my own. She has referred me to someone else, but that someone is mostly a dog behaviorist and I would prefer to wait and work with her, but I do not know if or when she will be available.

Meanwhile, the Bengal has developed a new problem. Rather, it is a problem she has had, one with being possessive over toys, but now it has gotten so bad that I may need to start another topic to discuss it.

A family member will be visiting me this week and it would be possible for them to take the Bengal back to the breeder -- that is, if I am able to get in touch with the breeder, and if I am able to make up my mind -- but the problem with this is I have had no professional guidance so far. I wanted to see if the family member would be able to drive the Bengal there, and they are able, which is great. But I can't even get the animal behaviorist on the phone to discuss with me whether she thinks it is a good idea. She is probably not feeling well enough to discuss the matter and probably won't be until after surgery.

So I am pretty much on my own. First, I don't even know if the breeder is around to accept her this week. She tends to go on extended vacations out of town a lot. Second, I have a feeling I might regret doing it if I don't have a professional step in. But I don't know at this point if this professional I have found, who has a more reasonable rate and provides unlimited phone support, will be available to me.

If I only knew that after she had her surgery we could set up an appointment, then I would feel better. But not knowing, and her not answering (probably because she doesn't feel well) are not helping me. I feel all alone, and they are making the case for me just wanting to take the easy way out and have my relative take the cat to the breeder. I am an emotional wreck.

It's only one appointment I would need; then I could do the rest by phone. But right now I feel all alone. She could be out of commission for a week or two after Dec. 15, and that is okay, but I just need to know that she would be there for an appointment at some point. That means the lady who could return her to the breeder right after Christmas; that is the last chance I would have to return her until March or April. That is a long time for me to put up with behavioral issues and at the moment I am having to hide all the toys from both kittens because of the Bengal, which isn't fair to the other kitten.

The Bengal, having become overly possessive of her toys, is now stealing the other kittens's toys and ripping them to shreds to the point it has gotten so bad that I am now having to hide all the toys. The only time the other kitten can play with her toys is when the Bengal is locked away. The breeder never warned me about this. All she said is that "the judges love it when Bengals growl at their toys." She never warned me about toy possessiveness or that it should be nipped in the bud. Now it has become a full-fledged problem. It is normal for kittens to playfully steal toys from each other, but the Bengal doesn't "play" with her toys. She tries to eat them (I stop her), rips them to shreds and "kills" them. I no longer allow her to do any of this: I stop her immediately by taking the toy away from her or making her drop the toy by offering her something better like a food bribe and then clicker train (with a clicker) so that she hears a click when she drops the toy. But it is so ingrained in her that I don't know if I can get her to stop this behavior.

I know dogs also can have this problem, and they stop this behavior in dogs, but this is a Bengal cat. I'm not sure it can be stopped in a Bengal cat.


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## mimitabby (Apr 20, 2010)

your bengal is suffering because she has strong instincts to catch and defeather and eat prey and there is no prey in the house. I hope she doesn't decide the other kitten is prey.


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## MowMow (Nov 6, 2010)

I would say that most behavioral problems with dogs are caused by boredom and/or not knowing their place in the pack(poor training). Cracking down on rules and giving a dog a 'job' (herding classes, agility, field trialing, tracking or lure coursing etc.) usually eases most trouble.

I have *NO* idea how that would translate to a cat.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thanks, everyone, for your input. It is greatly appreciated.:angel

I have made the difficult decision this morning that the Bengal will be returning to the breeder this Thursday. A family member who will be visiting and who will arrive at my home Weds. evening will leave by car Thursday morning and will drive her there.

I feel exhausted, sad, relieved, sad. But it is the best thing to do.

I could try to make it work. But I feel it is the best thing for my oldest cat and for my other kitten as well if the Bengal finds a new home.

I will enjoy her for the next few days. It is going to be hard to say good-bye.

But ultimately the household will be more peaceful without her. And I still may need the help of an animal behaviorist to help Serena adjust to the presence of a kitten, but maybe not, because Serena seems to do much better with the other kitten when the Bengal isn't around.

Mostly right now I feel relief. But I also feel sad. She really is a nice cat. She can be a lap cat, and has many wonderful characteristics. I hope she finds her forever home soon.

I also spoke to the animal behaviorist this morning, after I had made my decision. She feels I made the right one, after I filled her in one some of the goings-on. Yes, I could have made it work, possibly, with a lot of work, a lot of stress, and more behavioral problems may have cropped up as the Bengal got older. It is hard, but it feels like I am doing the right thing.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Hi mimitabby,


My Bengal did have her feathered toys from Target, which she defeathered (all feathers gone!) and then ate them down so that they were just the round ball part, which she then tried to eat. She also has the "real" looking mice. I let her play with these as well. But this weekend it became every toy in the toybox, and that was new behavior. Again I'm sure I need an animal behaviorist's advice, because she did tell me this morning that the Bengal does need to do this, (although she said they can also be trained to drop the toy like a dog) and she did mention certain types of chew toys she recommends for Bengals. (She knows a lot more about Bengals than I do!)


But I won't be doing this now, since I am sending her back to the breeder. It would be great if the breeders would give new owners more information about their new kittens, or if breeders would be more accessible when new owners are having problems. I also don't think that all Bengal breeders know that much about the breed themselves. The Bengal breeder I bought from was not that knowledgeable about the breed. Nor was she knowledgeable about health issues in the breed, nor even basic things about not feeding human grade tuna fish to cats.:!: She didn't believe it when my vet diagnosed T. foetus under a microscope. I had to run a PCR test for her. I feel that if Bengal breeders were more forthcoming, instead of advertising their cats to people who don't know the breed as cats who "fetch" which is how they were described to me, (she never once fetched) rather than cats who are most definitely different than other cats, they might end up with new owners who are more aware of what they are getting into when they get their first Bengal cat. My apologies; I got slightly off-topic there.:smile:

Thankfully, so far she has never decided the other kitten is prey. So far, it has been she and the other kitten rocketing through the house playing together.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Now that I have made my decision, almost like a portent to the future:

Serena and Tsuki are both lying on my lap, asleep. Tsuki's head is on Serena's stomach.Serena started grooming her, for a few minutes, then realized what she was doing and hissed.:smile: Then she went back to sleeping.

This is only happening because the Bengal is out of the house this morning, at the vet's for a lyme sulfur dip treatment for Demodex mites.

Serena always acts differently when the Bengal isn't here. She knows when the Bengal isn't in the house. She is immediately more relaxed.

When I returned from taking the Bengal to the vet, Serena and Tsuki were sitting on the sofa about a foot apart from each other. Things were already noticeably, more visibly relaxed.


So the three of us are here, and Serena is tolerating letting Tsuki sleep next to her. That is a good sign.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

It will be interesting to see how quickly Serena and Tsuki become even better friends when the Bengal is gone. It may take a few days or a week, before Serena realizes the Bengal just hasn't gone to the vet, but is gone for good. I think she may be more playful with Tsuki.


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## mimitabby (Apr 20, 2010)

good luck, Missy
you have learned a lot of things the hard way (including the fact that the breeder can be fairly clueless!!!)
Enjoy your kitties - we all know you really really tried.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

It will be interesting to see how the relationship between Serena and Tsuki evolves. I hope a friendship will happen. Serena only has her "fuzzy face" (her happy face) on during the hours that the Bengal is at the vet's getting her lyme dip on Mondays.

Fuzzy face went away after I picked up the Bengal and brought her home this afternoon.

Right now, I'm trying to enjoy the little bit of time left I have with my two kittens. It's the only time I have ever had two kittens the same developmental age, and it has been so much fun. It is so fun watching Tsuki run around with the Bengal and watching the two of them play together. I will miss that. I am counting down the days. It's Monday night and I only have two more days. Early Thursday morning she'll be gone.

It's been emotionally draining. I find myself asking if I've made the right decision. But at the moment she went after my resident cat tonight, I felt it was the right one.

Thank you for the confirmation that it was the right one. I need that, as I get the feeling that the coming days and weeks are going to be hard. I have been waffling all day, feeling torn. I appreciate your support.
I hope she finds a good forever home. She is seven months, and very beautiful. I hope the breeder keeps up with her current vet health problems, as they need constant care and I don't know she'll stay on them.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thank you, mimitabby. It is heartbreaking when it doesn't work out. And that is how I feel; heartbroken. I wanted it all to work so badly. It didn't. I had a behaviorist lined up, but now she needs surgery and she keeps getting sick and can't schedule any appointments until after her surgery, and my problems kept getting worse and couldn't wait. And then it all seemed to hit me; one new problem after another. Maybe if I had had this behaviorist come out it would have made a difference, but I did speak with her on the phone, and she did say from everything I described she felt I was doing the right thing.

It doesn't make it any easier, though. I love watching these two kittens together. They are like Heckle and Jeckle. They are so similar in how they react. It is odd, but they are almost like littermates. I will miss the little Bengal so much.
This is definitely traumatic for me. I feel I have failed her, and failed myself.

I know the house will be better, and quieter. I just wish I could have found a workable solution that didn't involve giving up a cat and that would have made everyone happy.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

I got up this morning at 4 a.m. so that I could spend some quiet hours with the Bengal and Tsuki together, along with Serena, before my family member takes the Bengal away. He is still sleeping. I wanted some time alone with them.


I will miss her. I am watching them play together and enjoying the time together.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

I wish you all the best. When a delightful cat leaves, that can't be kept for good reasons, it's like a death and you will grieve her and question whether it had to be that way, but likely feel a burden lifted and feel relieved. After a while your attention and focus will be on Serena and Tsuki and they will help you forget the stress and anxiety you've been under for quite a while. Good luck! As someone mentioned on this forum, "Bengals aren't for everyone". They really are different in their activity and needs. You did your best and you shouldn't feel any sense of failure. I know I couldn't live with a Bengal. After having Manx for a number of years, I found the Devons were _almost_ too much---just wasn't used to their higher activity levels and extreme curiosity.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

*Update*

It has been a hard week since the Bengal kitten left, in that I miss her and part of me will continue to wonder if I did the right thing returning her to the breeder.

On the other hand, Serena is clearly more relaxed, and that tells me that I did.

And it is also clear that Serena and Tsuki now have a chance at a real friendship, which they never had before.
On Wednesday, they both "accidentally" ended up laying in my lap together and napping. When Serena awoke and realized who was in the lap napping next to her, she hissed like crazy, but she didn't move. I soothed her, and she went back to sleep.:smile:

Today Serena is behind my head while Tsuki is in my lap. It sounds like a little thing, but that is something Serena never would have done with the Bengal.

I have noticed some things that concern me about Tsuki. She has looked for her Bengal playmate, sometimes walking around the house and meowing. Also, she has no one to wrestle with or play vigorously with, so all of that energy is getting stored up. Sometimes that energy is directed at me and sometimes it is directed at Serena. It is directed at Serena, in wanting sometimes to play with her, or to be a cat buddy. Toward me, she is spending a lot of time with me hanging out and wanting attention. I feel for her. She does need another kitten, but that isn't in the cards right now. I need for her and Serena to form a strong bond.

I have tried playing with Tsuki with stick toys and interactive toys, but there is only so much I can do to simulate the activities of another kitten.

I'm taking this one step at a time. If they aren't making enough progress by the New Year, I may bring in that behaviorist to see if she can help things along.

The house is more quiet, ... I say, as Tsuki just pounced at Serena's tail. This is something that Tsuki never would have done had she had her Bengal friend to play with.:wink Definitely some adjustments are still in order. But overall, I feel I made the right decision.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thank you, catloverami.
Your post brought me comfort. It was really hard letting go. You are right: I was under so much stress and anxiety. It has been good to see Serena relax, although at the same time, Tsuki has gotten so much more wound up!:wink She doesn't have her Bengal friend to play with now, so all of her excess energy is coming out through her pores! I admit I wasn't expecting that. She still has been a really good kitten despite these things, but Tsuki post-Bengal has been a little on the high energy side for Serena. Still, Tsuki overall is a much, much lower energy kitten than the Bengal, and I feel they have a much better chance of developing a friendship.

I only hope that the breeder is going to follow through with the health recommendations and vet treatments we were doing for the Bengal. It would be awful if she did not. I have no way of knowing what she is planning.

Bengals are high maintenance, but they are also delightful. I feel maybe if I had only had two Bengals it would have been great fun, but in a mixed household with other breeds of cats it was difficult to attend to the needs of all of the cats.

And you are right; it did feel like a death. I didn't have her for long, but it still feels that way. I feel like I am grieving over her loss. I am still adjusting to that.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Yesterday, progress. Serena allowed Tsuki to share a doughnut bed with her for a short time. Granted, she hissed and kicked her out a short time later,:smile: but at least they shared a bed! That seems like a good sign to me. It almost has me wishing for colder weather.


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## raecarrow (Oct 27, 2009)

So cute! You did the right thing by all your kitties. Tsuki looks so pleased with herself  I predict they will be constant cuddle buddies soon enough.

You can take some of the cold weather we are having where I am. We've only had 2-3 days above 35 in the last month (or so it seems).


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thanks, Rae!They stayed like that for at least 30 minutes. I was so pleased! This afternoon they were piled on an afghan "near" each other sleeping on my lap for a couple of hours, which is pretty good in my book. At one point their paws were almost touching.:love2 At another point Serena hissed briefly when Tsuki woke up and stretched, but I calmed her down.

Hopefully this cold weather will bring them together! I don't know about those 35° days you mentioned, though; I think it's plenty cold here and it isn't as cold as that! I'm pretty much a wimp when it comes to cold weather.:smile:

Tsuki's face isn't that dark, but the photo turned out dark. I just wanted to snap it before anyone moved and I don't have a lot of light in the room.

Serena never would have done that with the Bengal! So yes, I am very pleased! I tried to take some photos today of them on the afghan, but I don't think they turned out well. I'll look at the photos later.:smile:


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

*Update*

Because Serena is still intimidated by Tsuki if they make eye contact for too long (even though Tsuki is completely harmless and never challenges her), I have decided a new tactic is in order.

On Wednesday night, I thought of a sneaky way to get Serena to get along with Tsuki. I put them in a room at bedtime -- it is cold here right now -- and had them snuggle together all night.

Thursday morning I snuck in there and sure enough, they were sitting there side by side. That was perfect! Even closer would have been better (they weren't touching), but they were side by side, which was about as good as I could get without putting a doughnut bed in there for them to snuggle in. I didn't want to use a doughnut bed, because I figured Serena would claim it as hers and not let Tsuki in it.

Last night I did the same thing, except I used a heating pad. I peeked in this morning, and they were near each other, but not as close as the night before when they didn't have the heating pad. So I think I won't use the heating pad tonight. It seems they depend on each other more when there is no other source of heat.:smile: It seems to be a way to get them to snuggle and a way to show Serena that Tsuki may be an okay buddy after all. They aren't buddies yet -- that's a long way off -- but this is a good first step.

During the day, I see very subtle changes. Serena will still swat at Tsuki from time to time; that hasn't changed. But I do see Serena spending more time on or near the ground, and I can tell she doesn't seem as threatened because she is spending more time there.

She remains interested in Tsuki's activities. She watches Tsuki play. Some of it is because she wants to make sure Tsuki isn't going to come after her, but each time Tsuki doesn't, it is more confirmation for Serena that Tsuki is harmless. She still isn't convinced she wants Tsuki for a friend, but maybe sleeping with her at night will help.

The household is much more peaceful. I tangibly feel it now.

And as an added bonus, now that the Bengal is gone, I am finally getting to know Tsuki. She is an absolutely adorable kitten. The Bengal was so high maintenance she never gave me the opportunity to get to know Tsuki, not like this! I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful kitten. Tsuki has a wonderful sense of humor, is a bit of a klutz, and is full of love. Also, she has absolutely no designs on being an alpha cat. She is perfectly happy with Serena running the show.

Plus, I have my Serena back. She isn't completely back, as in, she still shows some caution around Tsuki. But she is realizing that Tsuki is not in any way a Bengal and is not like that "other kitten." I am hoping things continue to progress.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Serena had to go to the vet today for a lime sulfer dip. Apparently she picked up the demodex mites from the Bengal kitten. Once she was dried off, I took off her Elizabethan collar and Tsuki dutifully helped Serena groom herself.I tried to get a photo of that but was unable to.
Afterwards they sat together, then fell asleep. This is the same room and area they now share for sleeping at night.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

*Slight setback*

Last night I tried giving my Serena and Tsuki a doughnut bed to sleep in, in an attempt to get them to snuggle closer. But something told me not to; that it was too soon, and that Serena would try to possess the doughnut bed.

It seemed to be going well when I peeked in and to my surprise the two of them were sitting in the doughnut bed less than 10 minutes after I had deposited them in there, so I decided to leave it.

But in the middle of the night, I heard the kitten crying. Sure enough, I should have listened to my instinct. Serena had hogged the whole bed for herself and had crowded Tsuki out of it. Tsuki wasn't even on the sofa or any of the soft blankets. She was on the cold floor, underneath a chair, meowing. So they are not ready to share a doughnut bed yet. 

I removed the doughnut bed from the room entirely and placed the two of them back on the blanket. I didn't hear the kitten cry anymore, so I hope they worked it out. Serena still insists on getting the "best" spot, which is the one closest to underneath a lamp with a 60 watt bulb that I have. 

I am considering turning off the 60-watt lamp, because it allows Serena to back herself into a corner on the sofa, and instead just turn on an overhead light in the room. That way there wouldn't be any favored spot on the sofa.

Serena will still swat at the kitten, and does not consider her a friend yet. Serena will tolerate Tsuki being close if Serena either falls asleep, or if she is relaxed, but at other times she will snap and all bets are off. So they by no means have a good relationship at this point. They still have a long way to go. I hope with continued exposure to Tsuki that the oldest cat will begin to see her as a friend. At this point she sees her as an annoyance.:smile: I hope my "plan" works and that over time she will see her as less of an annoyance.

I also don't know if by having them sleep together at night if it will have any impact over how they interact during the day. I guess only time will tell. So far, Serena continues to ignore her during the day and keep her distance. Occasionally they may both end up in my lap, but that is _very_ rare.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

I would say both Serena and Tsuki are making excellent progress in establishing a friendship. After all it hasn't been that long that Tsuki spent most of her time playing with the Bengal. So I think she's being very respectful and restrained with Serena. You can't force them to be cuddle buddies, but you should be very pleased how much more relaxed Serena is now compared to before. It's too bad she contracted the mites, and having the dip may have set her back a bit, but I think you can heave a great sigh of relief that things are going very well, and will probably continue along this way. Both of them are absolutely gorgeous cats.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

Thank you for the vote of confidence, catloverami! Sometimes it feels like I am feeling my way in the dark. I don't know what I am doing; just trying my best. You're right; it hasn't been that long. And thankfully, Tsuki isn't all "in your face" like the Bengal was.:smile: I have never seen Tsuki swat back at Serena, whereas the Bengal kitten thought nothing at swatting back at Serena or even jumping up on the same stool Serena was sitting on. Tsuki is a very respectful little girl!

Soon both Serena and Tsuki will both be going in for demodex mite treatments. They would have both started last week, but Tsuki got spayed last Tuesday and I have to wait for her stitches to heal.

You are right: the progress is so subtle that sometimes I don't realize it.

But then, Serena will swat at Tsuki -- it happens several times a day -- and I will get discouraged and wonder if she will ever truly accept her, and get to the point of not ever swatting at her.

Thank you for saying they are gorgeous! I think so, too! And yes, Serena is much more relaxed than she was! So thank you for the pep talk! Surely things can only get better from here! It just happens so slowly that sometimes we humans can't see these subtle changes.


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## missy (Apr 23, 2010)

*Several set-backs*

Several things have happened since I have last written.

I don't know how these three things are interconnected, but here goes:

1. Tsuki got spayed, and I couldn't play with her with her interactive toys for 14 days so that her stitches wouldn't tear if she jumped. This meant she had all of this pent-up kitten energy bursting out of her. She began to attack Serena's tail and even chase Serena at times, causing Serena to hiss at her a lot.

2. Tsuki got either a UTI or cystitis (we couldn't get urine that first day as her bladder was empty); and that has also affected her behavior. She is better now, but it may have contributed to the way she has been acting toward Serena. She has been a lot more hyper than usual. When I was first reporting it to the vet on the phone, she was hopping in and out of the box, and also dashing through the house nonstop like a maniac. We went straight to the vet. As of yet, it is unresolved, although she is a bit better.

3. I have a strong suspicion that she has entered into her "teenager" phase. She was 7 months as of December 24. So now she is technically into her 8th month. And now I can play with her, and I have been, as it is more than 14 days after her spay. She seems to have boundless energy. I find that she is pushing boundaries. I don't know much about the "teenager" phase, though, but I can say this: it is wearing on Serena. Last night Tsuki even jumped up on Serena ... she is really a ball of energy. Thankfully these outbursts are moderate in frequency, when compared with the Bengal kitten I rehomed. Still, compared to the old Tsuki, they are very frequent! I try to redirect, but sometimes don't get to her in time. And she is very curious about Serena, as she would be, since Serena is now the only cat in the house!

Just when I thought they were going to be friends, and Tsuki was being so accommodating, now Tsuki wants to be a kitten and try to play with Serena sometimes (and sometimes it is "a lot"), and run with her ... eek! She is still much better than the Bengal kitten would have ever been. In fact, I can't picture the Bengal kitten at this stage ...

I give Tsuki interactive play sessions, but she always seems to want more. Does anyone have any advice on how to get through this "teenager" time, so that Serena and I survive it? Especially Serena. They were just starting to get along, and I don't want Serena to completely get turned off now.

Also, I don't know much about the "teenager" phase, so any advice about the "teenager" phase would be appreciated.

Thank you in advance!


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

It certainly sounds like she's in the bratty teenage phase, and like most teens want to test the boundaries. Change her toys around frequently---put out empty boxes, bags, buy some new toys, but only put one or two out at a time, change them around frequently. Get her tired out with a "Da Bird". This bratty phase can last up to 1-1/2 to 2 y.o. but she will likely level out when she's more mature and loose the brattiness but still be kittenish in her play. You could teach her to focus on you with a sound, such as "pssst pssst", or clicking your tongue. Does she understand "come"? Initially use treats to reward her when she comes; then when she's coming well, substitute a treat with a toy, foil ball, or lots of petting in her favourite places. So when Tsuki takes off after Serena and she doesn't like it or is looking scared, call Tsuki or make your special sound. It should distract her from her pursuit of Serena.



The UTI may have caused her some discomfort trying to urinate and could be the reason for her dashing from the box. I hope you get her straightened around with that. You want to maintain the good relationship they were developing before she got spayed. Good luck!


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## mimitabby (Apr 20, 2010)

from your photos I would say you have nothing to worry about. Those two girls will be friends. Good luck!!


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