# Cats don't get along anymore after 4 months apart



## jadis (Jul 9, 2011)

So...Muffin is a 6 year old female, she is friendly and social with cats and dogs. Last summer my son found an 8 week old female kitten that we ended up keeping. We introduced the kitten (Tiger Lily) slowly and everything went fine. The two played alot and got along nicely. Then last fall my husband and I separated and he took Muffin with him to his apartment. She was there for about 4 months, but he brought her back because she was not doing well there. She settled back in here fine except that Tiger Lily now hates her. I didn't think to intro them slowly again because they had gotten along before, but now Tiger Lily hisses every time Muffin walks by and sometimes attacks. They have had a couple of nasty fights although they just avoid eachother mostly. I'm not sure where to go from here. We have a male kitten coming in two weeks and I'm hoping Tiget Lily will be able to get along with the kitten. Muffin seems to prefer the company of my sheltie which is fine, but I would at least like the fighting to stop.


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## spotty cats (Sep 23, 2011)

They don't know each other after such a long time apart. Separate them now and re-do the intro that worked the first time round.

I wouldn't be getting another kitten just yet either, it's too much for your poor girl.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

As said, separate them into neutral zones and do a reintroduction. This is especially important if they have physically fought each other. You need to be the Mama Cat here and set the boundaries. No fighting or each gets a time out.

During the day or so of separation, spend time with each cat giving them love and affection. You want to earn their trust so you are irresistable. They will want to please you, or rather don't like your censure.

Then let them see each other but not get to each other. Don't worry if there's hissing/growling. They won't like each other at first. Tiger Lily seems to have gotten used to ruling the roost and is trying to show she's boss. Muffin was the boss and her authority is being challenged. Tiger Lily is also at the age to do this dominance play. She's a bratty adolescent. Teenagers are always trouble, no matter the species.

Make sure you correct their bad behavior. If there's a hiss/growl, give them a sharp "No, bad kitty!" And reward the good behavior. If they play nice together reward them with pets and treats. In fact, coax them to be together with treats with you at the center. Then they associate being civil to each other with your good will and good things for them.

If a fight breaks out, separate and give time outs until the cats calm down. Be patient. This process may take weeks or a couple months. Depends how much they have forgotten and how much Tiger Lilly wants to challenge.

Eventually they get along or at least learn to be civil.

Oh, you may also want to buy a Feliway plug-in. Place it in a communal area where both cats will spend a good deal of time together. I just recently had a problem with my two littermates going to war with each other. The submissive one turned into a bratty teenager and challenged her big sister. There's a thread here what happened. We had to separate them for a couple days then use the positive/negative reinforcement. A week later they were back to grooming each other and playing. I do think the plug-in I used helped calm things as well.

When you get that new kitten make sure it is separated and well protected. It sounds like Tiger Lilly is not in the mood to tolerate newcomers invading her territory. The kitten won't be able to defend himself as well as Muffin. You may try introducing him to Muffin first if she is the milder of the two. Be careful you don't setup a situation of misdirected aggression for her though. (i.e. she's angry about Tiger Lilly so goes after the kitten.)

Good luck!


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## jadis (Jul 9, 2011)

I'm going to seperate them and do a total re-intro the next two weeks before the kitten gets here. I thought about waiting on the kitten, but I really want this particular kitten and I want to make it work. I have a feliway plug in that I bought several years ago, I just haven't gotten any refils for it. I will do that. I have been doing the treats also. They take treats together fine and eat next to eachother.

The fights are generally happening at night. It seems like Tiger Lily has "claimed" my sons room and the fights occur when Muffin walks through there at night. In fact, all the fights have been in that room. Would it be best to block it off to the cats completely for now?


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

I would let "Tiger Lily" be in your sons room for the night. This will give them a good separation time to cool off and calm down without fear of running into each other. Hopefully they start each day in a calmer mood. I agree that you should hold off on a new kitten until things are better between Muffin and Tiger Lily.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

jadis said:


> I'm going to seperate them and do a total re-intro the next two weeks before the kitten gets here. I thought about waiting on the kitten, but I really want this particular kitten and I want to make it work. I have a feliway plug in that I bought several years ago, I just haven't gotten any refils for it. I will do that. I have been doing the treats also. They take treats together fine and eat next to eachother.
> 
> The fights are generally happening at night. It seems like Tiger Lily has "claimed" my sons room and the fights occur when Muffin walks through there at night. In fact, all the fights have been in that room. Would it be best to block it off to the cats completely for now?


If they are able to be together without always fighting (i.e. going for each other's throat), I don't think you need to do a prolonged isolation period. People recommended I do that with my two cats, but I felt the longer they were apart the more I prolonged their peace agreement. Cats get along when they are forced to. I feel it is necessary to separate them IF they are in open warfare (i.e. fur flying) and then only long enough to calm them down.

Pick up a refill for the Feliway. It's not doing you any good sitting empty in a wall socket.

Tiger Lily is marking your son's room as her territory. You can either lock her inside or lock her out entirely. I'm inclined to deny a naughty kitty their domain when they misbehave like that. i.e. lock ALL cats out of your son's room at night. Take away the source of the fight and they have one less thing to argue over.

If you are getting regular night time wrestling fights, then quarantine them from each other at night. Give each a separate zone with litter and food/water. They'll patrol but will be less likely to wake you up with their fighting or damage each other while you sleep. 

Don't be surprised if they find the door separating them and spend the night stalking it. When my cats were fighting, they'd camp out near that door and sniff each other. I'd hear random hissing at first, but they couldn't hurt each other.

You make it sound as if your cats do get along sometimes. That's a good sign. It's when they are ALWAYS at each other's throats whenever they catch sight of each other that I worry.

I understand your eagerness for the kitten. Just be sure you protect the little guy accordingly. I would not trust either adult cat alone with him at night or unsupervised. He will be perceived as a threat to their domain and will not be able to defend himself. You need to quarantine him at night and supervise him with the adult kitties. He'll probably want to play a lot and will be too naive to know he should defend himself. Plus he'll be plenty scared enough moving into a new home.

One other thing, some people recommend squirting naughty kitties with water. We found that just made ours even more wild/angry.

Oh and make sure you trim both cats' claws! Every 3 weeks to a month. The less sharp their claws the less damage they will do to each other if they do fight. Even though ours got into it a few times, neither did any damage.

Keep us updated.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

The logic against letting Tiger Lily have your son's room at night is that you are reinforcing her territorial aggression. You've given her that room so she will continue to defend it. Of course, she could be less territorial and acting more out of the desire to be left alone while napping at night. Either way, if there is consistent fighting at night, separate them. Then every one sleeps better.

When my kitties were fighting the patio room was the prize. It contains the best windows in the house overlooking the garden. It also has the best cat tree.

I denied both of them access to that room. It forced them to go find other places to camp out. Mine is a big house so there are lots of areas to chose from.

It takes about a week for the Feliway to kick in, according to user reports. My cats stopped their hostilities exactly one week after I plugged in my dispenser.


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## LaurulFeatherCat (Sep 16, 2011)

Because she was away so long, Muffin is now the invading stranger queen in Tiger Lily's eyes and Muffin is aware she is a stranger in another cat's territory. They are trying to carve out their own areas and unfortunately this is going to take a while. Separating them and then doing the reintroduction slowly is a good idea. Poor babies are confused with one seeing an invader on their turf and the other trying to get a toe hold in the territory of another queen.


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## jadis (Jul 9, 2011)

My plan of action for now is to get a refill for the feliway tonight and put it either in my sons room or in the living room by the cat tree. I am going to close Tiger Lily out of my sons room and see how that goes, at least at night, maybe all the time. I really would like her to use more of the house anyway, she spends almost all her time in my sons room. It is an awesome room from a cats perspective, good windows, bunk beds, and a ledge going all the way around the room that used to have a train running on it. Depending on how she acts when she can't hole up in there anymore, I may separate them completely. They are both sleeping in there now, one on each bunk of the bunkbeds, but they had a hissing, screeching fight just last night.

I'm also going to carve out some time for just TL to get attention from me. I don't know if they care about things like this, but Muffin follows me like a dog and as a result tends to get more attention. 

My plan for the kitten is to have him separated in the master bathroom for introductions and when he is unsupervised, then gradually let him in the bedroom, then the whole house. It worked with TL last time, until the separation.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

jadis said:


> My plan of action for now is to get a refill for the feliway tonight and put it either in my sons room or in the living room by the cat tree. I am going to close Tiger Lily out of my sons room and see how that goes, at least at night, maybe all the time. I really would like her to use more of the house anyway, she spends almost all her time in my sons room. It is an awesome room from a cats perspective, good windows, bunk beds, and a ledge going all the way around the room that used to have a train running on it. Depending on how she acts when she can't hole up in there anymore, I may separate them completely. They are both sleeping in there now, one on each bunk of the bunkbeds, but they had a hissing, screeching fight just last night.
> 
> I'm also going to carve out some time for just TL to get attention from me. I don't know if they care about things like this, but Muffin follows me like a dog and as a result tends to get more attention.
> 
> My plan for the kitten is to have him separated in the master bathroom for introductions and when he is unsupervised, then gradually let him in the bedroom, then the whole house. It worked with TL last time, until the separation.


Funny that they had a fight last night and are sleeping peacefully in the same room today. When mine had a wrestling match they stalked each other the next day. I don't suppose you can watch them to see what sparks the fight at night. I wonder if it is a play match that gets out of hand or there's something specific that sets off Tiger Lily.

If there's an outlet just outside your son's room, you could plug in the Feliway there. Then the pheromone will disperse in and around the room. We put ours just outside the favored patio room. Then the cats got a healthy dose of it any time they wanted to hang out or walk by that room. Helped that their litter boxes are in the adjoining laundry room. They got doses of the pheromone anytime they wanted to relieve themselves.

I hope it works. We did plenty of one-on-one comforting to both our cats when they fought. Also played with them and gave them treats. They were so funny in competing for my dad's affection. The timid one (who was causing all the fighting) follows him around like a puppy dog too. The bolder one (who's a queen of the household) is the lap kitty. At first they couldn't decide which was more important: getting to greet their boyfriend when he came home or hissing at each other. One day they followed him upstairs to change his shoes. When the hissing started, he chastised them both to knock it off because there was "no fighting in my room!" They immediately shut up.


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## jadis (Jul 9, 2011)

Ok, the feliway is in the hall outside the bedrooms and I closed off my sons room last night. There were no fights last night, Muffin was in my room most of the night and TL was downstairs when I went to bed. I also spent some time alone playing with TL yesterday evening and giving treats to both cats and dogs together. I hope they are on their way to working it out.

Scratch that, they are fighting right now, or were a few seconds ago. I opened my sons room up about 30 mins ago and TL hopped in there right away. Muffin just walked in and then they were screeching. When I went to check, Muffin was in the center of the room and TL was under the bed. So no more access in there I guess.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

jadis said:


> Ok, the feliway is in the hall outside the bedrooms and I closed off my sons room last night. There were no fights last night, Muffin was in my room most of the night and TL was downstairs when I went to bed. I also spent some time alone playing with TL yesterday evening and giving treats to both cats and dogs together. I hope they are on their way to working it out.
> 
> Scratch that, they are fighting right now, or were a few seconds ago. I opened my sons room up about 30 mins ago and TL hopped in there right away. Muffin just walked in and then they were screeching. When I went to check, Muffin was in the center of the room and TL was under the bed. So no more access in there I guess.


Yup, son's room is off limits.

If they are getting along without access to the room, I'd start to question what is going on with the room. Look for a dead mouse or some kill that gives off a funky odor to cats. Good excuse to have son clean his room. Check under the bed and the dresser.


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## jadis (Jul 9, 2011)

Oddly enough I found a dead lizard in there back in April, but nothing now. A catnip toy and a container of treats? 

I feel bad for TL, I have been thinking of her as the aggressor, but she seems very fearful now.


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## jadis (Jul 9, 2011)

I am dragging this thread back up because I have noticed something else that may be a factor, and I read about it in a couple of other threads too. Several nights in a row now I have heard cats fighting outside my house and I'm wondering if the sound of the fighting is getting mine riled up?


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## artaq (Jul 13, 2010)

Good question. I look forward to the answer.


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## MowMow (Nov 6, 2010)

Re directed aggression could definitely add to the problem. Personally, wouldn't add another cat into this mix until you get these guys figured out. Another cat will add stress to them both and make this much more difficult.


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## jadis (Jul 9, 2011)

The situation with the kitten fell through on the other peoples end, so my plan for a third cat is on hold for now. I'm concentrating on Tiger Lily and I am going to see how things are going in a month or so.


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## LaurulFeatherCat (Sep 16, 2011)

Very definitely yes, fighting cats outside your home will add to the territorial problems inside your home. If my cats hear cats fighting outside, they are hypervigilant about looking out the windows and hiss-challenging any outside cats they see. For as long as I have cats fighting in my yard, I have increased aggression in the house amoung my cats. I usually remove the fighting outside cats by putting a dry food feeding station outside the fenced yard in my parking area which is 50 ft away from the house. The outside cats challenge one another for the dry food, but do not usually break into the huge yowling challenge fights and my cats then settle down and the aggression is reduced.


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## jadis (Jul 9, 2011)

Quick update, there has been some progress but not as much as I would like. The stray cat outside has disappeared and I haven't heard anymore fighting outside. I keep Muffin and TL out of my sons room at night and Muffin has been sleeping with me most nights. I have heard a couple more hissy episodes at night but there haven't been anymore nasty fights. They sleep in the same room some during the day, but mostly avoid eachother.

I am doubting they will ever get to a point where they really like eachother again. I wish Muffin had never left, but who knows, there may have been a personality clash as Tiger Lily matured anyway.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

Don't resign yourself yet. Cats are odd creatures. They appear aloof but have deep emotions,

I worried my two sisters would never get along again. Then one day they discovered a toy they could share and the fighting stopped.


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## jadis (Jul 9, 2011)

I just wanted to update this, I have had some surprising but great results, at least for now. We took a big chance and added a third adult cat to our group. I seperated all three at first, then introduced Muffin and the new cat first. That went great, so I introduced Tiger Lily next, which surprisingly went even better. In the couple of days since then, I have allowed them all to be together supervised. Muffin and Zoey (new cat) have been hanging out and TL is avoiding them somewhat but not hissing or anything. TL is also more affectionate, actually seeking me out for attention and rubbing all over me for pets, which is out of character for her. It has only been a couple of days, and I'm sure these results are not typical, but I hope this holds. I am just on the lookout now for Muffin and Zoey ganging up on Tiget Lily, which hasn't happened yet.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Thanks for the update......Glad to hear things are working out, and hope it lasts. Sometimes a third cat settles things as then the two aren't jealous of each other. It seems TL now wants to make sure she gets attention by seeking you out.


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