# Separation-from-cat anxiety



## TrinityQuiet (May 18, 2007)

After being a member here a while, I finally realize I'm not the only weirdo who gets separation anxiety if they leave their cat alone for a while. But does anyone really understand why? Sometimes I think it's empathy...we know they don't understand why we abandoned them, even for a few hours. Sometimes I think it's fear that they won't be there or be okay when we return. Sometimes I think it's just desperately missing them, they're parts of our souls!

Please anyone, input  I'm so scared to leave my cat! Any tips on how not to be so distressed by going to work or visiting a friend for the afternoon?


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

I don't have problems leaving them for periods of time during the day or evening, but I do have a problem with leaving them overnight or a weekend. ...and a 10 day trip across the country? ....ack!

I found if I have to leave them, it is best to have people I trust and who know the kitties come to the house to care for them. My biggest problems about leaving them seem to occur when I don't work and spend a lot of time at home with them. I enjoy their company and don't want to leave. When I am home-bound they DO become my life, I interact closely with them and I don't want to go away and be with people who may make me feel uncomfortable.
I _can_ do it. I just don't like to.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Funny you should ask that, because on the way home tonight, I thought, I'm only with the twins a few hours every evening from when I get home to when they go to bed. I wonder if they feel like I come in the house and invade *their* space every night.....


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## Kittys Mom (May 7, 2004)

Hmmm..I generally feel okay leaving them alone all day. But overnight? Yuck. I hate to stay anywhere other than home overnight. I miss my bed, I miss my house, but mostly I miss (and worry about) my kids.

I tried to explain to my older sister...If I had a child, I'd have no problem leaving that child overnight (or even several days), if the child was being cared for by my sister.

I hate leaving my cats because no one (well, my3babies does) takes as good care of them as I do...and they MISS me. I know they miss me. And they don't know why I'm leaving them, no one can explain it.

I've become okay leaving them for 1 night. They can handle it and I can handle it (that said, I only go away for two nights per year, labor day and Christmas). But more than that....yikes.

I don't worry about them during the day because for the most part, they just sleep. Also they are used to it. When I come home in the middle of the day, they seem suprised, like I ruined the party. And then they expect dinner, because that's what happens when I walk in the door...dinner.  Even when it's 1:00 in the afternoon and dinner isn't for hours yet. 

Silly kids.


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## hypertweeky (Nov 25, 2007)

I know how you feel trinity,I don't like leaving Tiger in the mornings, especially after we were gone for 16 days in Spain, Boy that took a HUGE toll on me and on Tiger who cries every time he sees us leave in the morning, He is getting better now, everything is back to normal and he can sense it.


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## horseplaypen (Apr 1, 2004)

I've never had cause to leave them overnight... but I do leave them for four months in the summer when I go home. :roll: So I think that makes up for it. My 'inlaws' take care of them when I go home, but I worry constantly, of course. I make them wear collars in the summer when I'm gone (the cats, that is) and whenever my boyfriend calls them I always make him ask how the cats are. But I worry. My inlaws are great people and they love the cats, but I feel like they don't take them as seriously as I do... you know? And it's like they just don't think of the cats as being like people and needing attention... they don't take out da bird ("the other toys are just as good") and they don't give them wet food (usually they try to at the beginning of summer, then they forget by June) and they forget to wash out the dry food bowl so the cats get acne, and they give them tap water instead of filtered ("it's good enough for the dog"). 

And I do remind them to do all those things, but I don't feel right nagging any more than that because of the giant favour they're doing for me. And their feelings would be hurt. Hence, the vet visit in September and pampering and da bird-on-demand the rest of the year.

Every year I revisit the issue of whether I should bring the cats home with me for the summer... but every year it seems like it would be a crueller choice for the cats. But I'm sure I'll be posting about my yearly dilemma again in a month or so when I book my plane ticket.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

This is sure something I struggle with. I've gotten to the point where I feel fine about leaving Rookie home alone during the day, but when I go out on weekends for a couple hours I always have a nagging feeling like I should hurry home. And vacations are a whole 'nother story . . . I've tried everything I can think of, including having a great catsitter who comes twice a day, but I still feel guilty the whole time. I wish there were something I could do, because I honestly don't think I'll have another decent vacation for the rest of her life!

How do people get over this kind of thing?


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## Siamese Louise (Jan 28, 2008)

Tinity, I think all of your reasons are correct! When I've had to be gone for several days at a time, I always call home and "talk" to the cats. It's either via answering machine or with a willing cat nanny holding the phone out to them. At first I thought I was only doing it for their benefit (don't want them missing Human Mama), but it's also because I just plain miss them so much! I tend to reach out to any available cat for a "fix" if I can't be with my kitties.

My biggest fear in being away from them is that somebody will accidently let one of them "escape" from the house--they're not outdoor savvy and might really come to harm if Human Mama wasn't there to get them back in safely. Purrs,


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

I don't have any problem going off for the day, but I do feel guilty if I don't get home by their normal supper time and haven't left some dry. I have a great cat sitter and don't have any issue leaving for few days, but by day 3 or 4 I'm really missing them. Especially at night when I don't have any furries snuggling with me. How much and how quickly I miss them also kind of depends on why I'm away...if it's a fun vacation it's not as bad as an icky business trip to some place I don't want to be.


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## OwnedByACat (Jan 11, 2008)

I don't have a problem leaving them for the day, though I think they miss me, us, when we're gone for the day. They are usually waiting at the door for us, and they have to practically be pushed out of the way so we can get in. If I'm carrying something........oh lord! When Dave gets home from work, Patches every single day, greets him because he picks her up to scratch her belly, and she loves that!

But, going away for the weekend or something is hard, though it's rare because we don't have anyone to care for the horses. But when I do go away for the weekend, I do miss them, and can't wait to get home. I enjoy being home, and enjoy the fact that my cats love to be around me. It's a very simple life, and I like that.


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

You know I have noticed a very interesting phenomenon with how my crew responds to me since I haven't been working. I've been out of work almost 7 months. When I was working all 3 were at the door when I came home, they would run after me into the kitchen and they all needed to be petted and they would all 'tell me about their day and ask when they were getting supper'. At night when I was sitting on the couch they would all be in the living room with me, if I got up they would follow me.

But I noticed about 3 months ago, that they obviously get enough of Mama now. There are nights when I look around and no cats are in sight, they're all upstairs in bed. When I go out and come home, sometimes someone will be there to greet me, then again, maybe not. No one is anxious to tell me the tales of their day. And it's the same even if I'm gone all day.


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

I remember when Arianwen was going through her door-darter phase and I went out for most of the day one Sunday. I didn't see her near the door as I left, and as a result I was so worried about her that I couldn't enjoy my outing with family at all. By the time I got home I was almost in tears with being stressed out thinking my baby was outside and attacked by a dog or hit by a car. 
I find that I cope much better with kitteh separation anxiety if I can exchange blinkies with Arianwen through the front picture window as I leave.  And she greets me with blinkies, loud purrs and chirrups when I return. :luv


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