# My beloved Oliver



## Saly

I lost my 17 1/2 yr. old hymilayn - Oliver - yesterday. My heart is broken, he was a beautiful gentle soul, who we loved so very much. He collapsed yesterday, he has had kidney disease for almost a year, but after the collapse I took him right away to the vet, who knows his situation, and she did x-rays and he had congestive heart failure. He was our "baby", and this house revolved around him. I am at a loss, completely devestated. We loved him so.
Sally


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## Gandalf&Endor

Sorry you lost your baby, Oliver. He knows he was loved


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## Arianwen

I am so sorry for you. It is a terrible thing to cope with.


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## Marcia

oh, Sally, I am so very, very sorry! I know this hurts so much! (((hugs))) to you! I know your life will be upside down for awhile but please come back and talk to us as much as you need. We have people here that grieve for months - we understand. I still tear up when I think of my beloved Sam who I lost at 16 1/2 years old. We adopted him at 12 so didn't have him nearly long enough.


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## Jetlaya67

So sorry about your baby Oliver. Hugs to you! Please take your time we are here for you if you need to talk.


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## marie5890

Oh Saly, I am so truly sorry over your loss of your beloved Oliver.

We are here for you. Eternal petpets and nose kisses to Oliver.
I hope when you can, you can share some of your wonderful memories of your precious one.


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## cat owner again

It sounds like Oliver had a good life with people who loved him and took good care of him. I am sorry for your loss and pain.


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## 10cats2dogs

Oh Saly...I'm so sorry about your loss of Oliver...:'(
I know how much it hurts, as do others here...so many of us have been where you are right now...
He had a long and wonderful life with people who truly cared about him...and he takes those memories with him, to the Bridge...
(((HUGS)))
Sharon


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## spirite

I'm so sorry about Oliver.  At 17 1/2, he had a very long and full life with you, and I hope you'll take comfort in remembering all the happy years that you had together.


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## Jenny bf

Oh Saly, I am so sorry to hear you have lost Oliver. He had a long life and knew he was loved and pampered and he has left you will many memories that will always be with you.


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## Saly

*Thank you*

Thank you all for the kind words. I am so heartbroken, my husband also. He was our best little friend. I have had many cats, but this one has taken a piece of my heart with him. He was a very gentle soul. He went outside with us on his leash, which he had since he was 8 weeks old, and loved it. Everyone loved him. The last few weeks we new the end was nearing, but no matter what, we can't prepare for this. We loved him with all of our being. I don't know if any of you remember, but 2 years ago I took in a feral, Ben, (now Bummy), who is still doing good. She is at a loss also. How to mend a broken heart?, I really don't know.
Saly


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## marie5890

Be kind to yourself Saly.

He is still with you because of the love you still feel, though the emptyness is so real.

I dont think we ever really "mend", we just somehow adjust to a new reality with some scars. Keep giving Bummy some extra love as she too adjusts.

Keep sharing here stories if you find it helpful. You dont need to hold it in. We all so understand what you are experiencing.

((((HUGS)))))


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## texasgirl

I'm so sorry about Oliver!! What a terrible loss! I, too, lost my kitty Josie. She was 14. Lost her June 29th and it still hurts. Take as much time as you need. There are lots of wonderful people on this site to help you get through it!

My prayers are with you!


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## Saly

*pictures,*

I am trying to post a picture of Oliver, but don't seem to be able to do it. What could I be doing wrong? He was a beautiful cat, inside and out. Is it wrong of me to talk to him like he is still here?, I am at such a loss, unbearably heartbroken.
Saly


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## marie5890

Go to the "post reply" link at the lower left part of the thread messages.

In that you will see a paperclip icon (it's for attachments). By clicking on that it will bring up a pop up window from where you can link a picture of your Oliver.

I think it's perfectly normal to speak of him in the present tense. For the two girls I have had help to the bridge I always think of them still with me, although I can not physically see them. I believe that their spirits still are with me.

I miss their physical presence a great deal. But I dont believe that the love has been extinguished


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## Saly

*Oliver last fall*


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## Saly

*Another Oliver*







He was so beautiful inside and out, I miss him so very much


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## Mandy and Ellie

Saly, I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Oliver.  He was absolutely GORGEOUS! I am a huge fan of Persians and Himilayans... they just seem to have the most gentle, easy-going souls. He was one of the cutest Himmy's I've ever seen. Thanks so much for sharing the pictures of him. 

He was unbelievably lucky to have 17 1/2 years filled with love and happiness with you.

It's something you can never prepare for... and it's totally understandable that you talk to him like he's still here. He will always be your baby, even if he only got to be here physically for 17 1/2 years... *hugs*


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## marie5890

Well Hello, Oliver, you very handsome boy you.
Your mama, understably, misses you dreadfully. Sometime, when her soul is a bit more at peace, let her know in a special way that you are ok. And that you are grateful for all the love and happiness they shared with you.

It will mean a great deal to them. In the meantime, eternal petpets and nose kisses until you are all reunited sometime in the future.


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## Saly

*Miss him*

I miss him soooo much. My daughter just called and all I did was cry. Every room in this house is him. My husand and I took a walk outside and he is everywhere. I think I am getting worse, I love him so very much, his soft, soft fur, his big blue eyes, his gentle, gentle soul. My Oliver.


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## Saly

*Oliver*







My Oliver


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## marie5890

Saly, You cry as much as you need to. 
It's all so very raw for you right now. 
You need to get it out. 

Just remember to take slow deep breaths as you cry.

What some people have found helpful is to take the time and to make a tribute post to their beloved kitty.

They talk about how they they first came to have their furry one become part of the family. They share stories, their journey, whatver they feel like sharing.

For example, my avatar, even though it's on it's side, is the grave site of my two beloved kitties. It's been two years. Blues' remains are buried on the left, and Rhythm on the right (they went 10 weeks apart. Beyond devastated is the only way I can describe how intense that time was)


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## howsefrau32

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard this is, having a cat more than 17 years and the pain you must feel. RIP sweet Oliver boy.


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## 10cats2dogs

Saly, 
There isn't some set time, to feel better in...that time is different for all of us...
Like Marie said, Cry as much as you need to...

And where you might get some odd looks from people, outside of the forum...
it has always saddened me, that the people, who you would think, could understand...don't...

That will NEVER happen here....
We DO understand...
There will be someone to talk to here, so if you can't sleep...post here...

I still cry over my babies, at times...
Each one is so special, and each has left a Very Special Paw Print on my heart...
(((HUGS))) and Prayers as you go through this...
Sharon


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## Mandy and Ellie

Saly, you're breaking my heart because I know the pain you're feeling... please feel free to let it all out here. We all truly understand how horrible the loss is, they're our little fuzzy children and take such a chunk out of our hearts. Just know Oliver feels no pain. He is happy, healthy, and running around happily on the Rainbow Bridge, looking down on you and reminiscing on his incredible life.

I wish I could give you a big hug right now. Don't hesitate to cry, vent, anything. We're all here for you, and getting it out will make you feel so much better.


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## Mandy and Ellie

10cats2dogs said:


> Saly,
> There isn't some set time, to feel better in...that time is different for all of us...
> Like Marie said, Cry as much as you need to...


I completely agree with all of this. And it's so true... the people on this forum truly understand, which is so important at times like these...


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## meggie

((((hugs)))))


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## struckers

I'm so deeply sorry for you! Grieve and grieve, it helps. I find it best to not try to stop the grieving -- it will ebb and flow on its own. The pain of losing an animal is unspeakable, and something that a lot of people could never understand. Just know, like others have said, that everyone here does understand. Even those who haven't lost, we have all loved. 

Oliver was truly beautiful, such a handsome boy. He will live on with you in your heart and memories for countless years. Stay strong! <3


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## Kaylesh

My most heart felt condolences on the loss or your Oliver.. I just lost my lovey 15yr old boy Feadan last week suddenly from unknown causes. 
They leave a huge hole in your heart.. Take time to grieve and look after yourself.. Talk to other cat folks who will understand your loss.. That is what has kept me semi sane this past week.. 
xxx


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## Mochas Mommy

I am so very sorry for your loss, Sally. I know all too well how difficult this is for you and how surreal it all feels. When I lost my beloved Mocha 9 months ago, I felt like the world I knew had ended. I still miss her every single day and I still talk to her as if she were thumping along behind me everywhere. What really helped me in the early days was writing a long letter to her about absolutely everything I could remember about her. Feel free to tell us all as much or as little as you like about Oliver....I can vouch that the members here are some of the most compassionate and empathetic. Your Oliver will forever be in your heart and his spirit will come back to visit you.....


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## Saly

*thank you all so much*

I am so glad to have you all who understand. Four weeks ago, I got a small tatoo on the inside of my wrist, two small paw prints with a small red heart, that is for all of my cats that I have loved. I know you all would have loved Oliver also,he was such a great, great cat. He recently started leaning his head in my hand and closed his eyes, I think it was his way of telling me he was ready, I kept telling him to let me know when he was ready and I would help him. I told him 50 times a day that I loved him. He died at the vets in my arms. My husband was with me also, he loves him just as much as I do, he was so very special. He had the most innocent of faces, even if he was "naughty", he just looked so innocent! The littlest things set me off, my husband woke up this morning and said "the sun is out", and I burtst into tears. I sleep with Oliver's blanket beside me, I can't wash it. I know you all understand.


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## G-PEG123

Saly, I'm heartbroken for you. Oliver sounds like a real love. I hope your memories of him can bring you comfort.


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## marie5890

Oh I love your tattoos. I have never been into them, and dont have any, but that is totally something I could see myself doing.

I understand about the blanket. It would be weeks, literally, before I could vacuum because I knew it would vacuum up Blues' fur.

She hated the vacuum (or the "big red monster" as I called it when talking to her). So much so I never used it after she died. I had to get a new one.

A blue one....

Yes it sounds like to me too that Oliver was letting you know he was getting ready. And it sounds like he knew you would help him. 

The greatest and last gift of profound and sacrifical love we give our furry ones is the gift of not letting them suffer. That when they are ready, we help them, even though it shreds our hearts and souls to pieces.

We take the pain of lossing them into our hearts so we can keep our promises that we will not let them needlessly suffer.

It's the greatest, yet the most painful for us, of all gifts for them.

:kittyball


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## Saly

*hello,*

I know it helps in time to get another "baby", because that is exactly how I got Oliver almost 18 years ago. I had a little siamese, with a curyl tail, that was diagnosed with liver disease and had to be put down, that is when I found Oliver at 7 weeks old. He was one small ball of fur, I fell in love at sight, and he helped so much with my loss. I have my little semi-feral that I trapped and took in over 2 years ago, and she is doing good. She will sit on my lap, if I sit on the floor, and let me pet her and hug and kiss her all over. I am hoping now that she has the run of the house, that she will come to not be so afraid. I think she will, she trusts me, but it is Oliver that had my heart, now it will be her turn, I know I will lover her just as much. It is just that I miss my Oliver so very, very, much, I wear a locket my husband gave me a while ago with Oliver's fur in it.


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## Saly

The vet came today to clip my little semi -ferals claws, she has given me so much support and comfort with Oliver's passing. I am having such a hard time with this. We miss him terribly. I actually hand fed him his treats!, had been doing this for years, and he loved it. He's the furry little love of our lives.


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## spirite

I'm glad you're getting some comfort from your other kitty. So many of us know how hard it is, and how long it takes before you can really begin to adjust to not having the furry little one we lost around the house.


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## Speechie

So sorry for your loss, he looks like such a sweet cat....
I agree take all the time you need to grieve, I still cry for Teddy who died last dec....
Gentle hugs


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## marie5890

(((((hugs)))))))


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## Cheddar

I am so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you in such a time of sorrow.


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## Saly

Thank you again everyone for your kind words. I found this quote yesterday "the love is worth the cost", and how true that is. This brings me so much comfort, no matter how much pain I am in, the joy and love that Oliver gave us was worth every second of his over 17 years. I would do it again in a second, even knowing the sorrow that would come. He gave us so much love, and he was able to show this love, I think that this is a profound gift that some pets give. I cry at strange moments, and miss him terribly, will be going back to work Tuesday, don't know how that will go. My love for him and the joy that was given freely will always be with us.


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## marie5890

Saly,

If you haven't yet, you may find the very first sticky post in the "Over the Rainbow Bridge" forum "comforting". Perhaps, "affirming" is a better word.

It's called "You have chosen tears"

Hugs...


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## Saly

I am wondering if any one experienced this, - I cry at strange moments, yesterday I told my husband "in the spring we need a new garden hose", and promptly burst into tears. It is like, I don't want spring to come without him, I don't want to "move on", I'm afriad moving on means not remembering him, I never, ever want to forget him. I want to stay right where I am with his memmory so very close to me, grief sometimes feels like a cozy blanket to me, has anyone had this feeling?


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## marie5890

Yes, the fear of forgetting. I understand that.

Remember that it's only been a few days. It will take time. Whatever you are feeling and experiencing is very normal. No need to question or second quess yourself. 

Grief is a way of "keeping them close" especially if you are afraid of "letting them go" even emotionally.

As time goes by, though, you begin to be aware that you dont need to grieve to keep them close, and the grief starts to lift. Not that it fully goes away. That Missing, at least for me, it always there. But that heavy grief is not. Again, at least for me. 

Dont get caught up into analyzing things too much. Just let it be and let it happen. It's all ok

((((HUGS)))))


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## Saly

Your words are very comforting and are making this difficult time more bearable., thank you


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## Marcia

Your Oliver was beautiful and I don't think he would want you so broken up as this. I understand your pain, but you must somehow honor his memory with joy, not with so many tears. I just read through this thread again and it brought ME to tears - not so much sad tears, but tears for a sweet, sensitive boy that won the hearts of 2 people that adored him for SO long! He did his job and did it well for so long - honor his memory by helping yourself move along and not focus on the past so much. Get that garden hose now. Plant a tree in his name (fall is purr-fect for planting!), buy new deck chairs to really enjoy the spring. Look forward while enjoying his memory.

I hope this does not come off as preachy or insensitive - I truly do not mean to do that. I just hate to see your heart SO broken.


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## Saly

Marcia, your words do not come across as preachy, or insensitive. I understand that I will have to gradually let go of the grief, and honor his memmory with smiles. I do that sometimes, and I know I will do it more and more. I went back to work today, which I think will help. I have a few elderly customers, that knew about Oliver and they asked me today, and all I could do was shake my head, they immediately understood and were so kind. We miss him terribly, but I want to honor his memmory with smiles, he was worth that, and he made us smile sooooo much!! He was the gentles, most easygoing kitty that one could ever have. I know I will be able to get through this, especially with all the kind words from this forum. I will smile more and more, never stop loving him, but honoring him with smiles and not so many tears. I am sure the tears will come at different times, but there will be many, many more smiles.


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## Mandy and Ellie

Saly, crying at random moments and unexpectedly becoming overcome with grief are completely normal... Don't feel bad for crying about your Oliver... even if it comes at odd times. It's the comfort of knowing they were always there... and I feel like the changing of seasons is especially heartbreaking when dealing with loss, because it marks a change without him there. But remember that his spirit is definitely still with you.

Although Marcia is right, there is no *time* to be able to only smile at his memory. It will come, but you can't rush it. Grieve how you need to and you'll see that everyday gets a little bit better. Like marie5890 said, the heavy grief does leave as your heart heals. And eventually, you'll be able to think of the great memories with your Oliver and smile.

Sometimes it takes days, sometimes weeks, sometimes months, sometimes years... but eventually, the tears come less, or not at all, and you'll find yourself happy and reminiscing when you think of him. Honestly, with my family cat Sheba who passed away at 17 (we grew up together, she was a kitten when I was born) in 2011, I mostly think of her and smile, but I still think of her sometimes and well up with tears... there really is no time to be over something so significant in your life. 

Oliver sounded like such an incredible kitty... he has left you with soo many great memories, before you know it you'll be able to reminisce on all of them happily. And just know we're all here for you every step of the way.


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## marie5890

.....and when those moments of tears comes that are accompanied by a smile, even if it's sort of a sad smile, I always send my furry ones who have passed a KISS!!!....I take it as an opportunity to express the continued love I still feel....

HUGS!!!!

So glad you have some customers who completely understand and are supportive. It is so healing when you know others do understand..


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## Saly

Marie, I am glad you said that, because when I do cry, I also send him a kiss, and tell him I love him. I go past his picture, and blow him a kiss.


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## Saly

I miss the physical presence of him something terrible. I wish I could hug him, kiss his furry little head, he had the silkiest, softest fur. I have wonderful memmories, but it is the physical presence that brings me the most pain. I am back to work now, and everyone has been so kind, that has helped. I know I told you that I hand fed him his treats, not sure how this started, but have been doing this for years. One of his treats was Imported Ham, he loved it. We used to laugh, I would buy my husband bologna, and Oliver would get the very expensive imported ham!!! He also loved vanilla ice cream, we couldn't eat this without him coming running, and sharing with him, also he loved popsicles, any flavor. We would laugh, all we would have to do is got to the freezer and pull out a popsicle, and we would be sharing with him!!! While most cats run under the bed during a thunderstorm, Oliver would run TO the window to see what all the noise was about! He never scratched us in all of his years, a very loving, gentle boy! Miss him with all my heart!!!


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## marie5890

What a wonderful image, him running to see what all the "fuss" was about going on outside with thunderstorms!...

The popsicles, and the ham, what priceless moments ...

(((HUGS))). 
Yes, it hurts deeply, not to have them physically with us. I miss my Blues. When I would pet her, she would open mouth purrr. 

I loved that. I miss that. I miss miss HER and her sister Rhythm.
I know how deeply you miss your Oliver.


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## Arianwen

This is still heart-rending.

I'm about to be a bit brutal but have you thought of becoming a cat owner again. It would be a disaster if you went into it trying to "replace" Oliver but you are obviously a loving owner. Both you and some lucky cat would benefit fro your love and care. 

If you do go down that route, never ever try to "replace" your darling - it can't be done. Take another individual and love him or her just as much but without looking for then to be a clone!

Bless you for all the love you have.


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## marie5890

Saly,

You may want to approach Arianwen's suggestion this way. (It what I did after Blues' passed on)

Ask Oliver to point you in the direction of a kitty that needs a special home and family to love them.

Blues pointed me in the direction of one, and her name is Cricket.

But I let Blues lead the way.

Just a thought....when and if the time comes....Oliver can hep guide you...


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## Saly

I do have my little semi-feral (bummy), she is a house cat now. I am hoping that now that she can have free run of the house (I didn't let Oliver interact with her,he was too frail), that she will trust me more and more. I can pet her when I am sitting down, and she will follow me around the house. She also will give me kisses. We took her in two years ago when I discovered she was eating birdseed under the feeder.
I am hoping somehow Oliver "tells" her it is ok to trust us, and not to be afraid.
Thank God I have her, if I didn't have her, I don't know how I would get through. I have had other cats that have lived long lives, and I never took it this hard. I think it is my age (will turn 60 in 2 weeks), somehow this gets harder as you get older. I think Oliver became our furry little "baby", he was such a love. It is his physical presence that I long so much for, but I know he wasn't well at the end, I used to tell him "please don't go", but I think that was selfish of me, he was tired and I think he had enough, he couldn't do it anymore. I also used to tell him to give me a sign and I would help him, tell me when he was ready. The day he died, I guess collapsing on the floor was the sign. I would never want to see that again, I couldn't stand it if he suffered, he gave us so very much. I can't tell you how much joy he gave my husband and myself - everyday! I know in time I will "heal", but this is such a hard road to go down. There are no regrets, would do it again in a second, as I said "the love was worth the cost"


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## Arianwen

I don't think it's just age - I have a garden filled with buried pets (sorry if that sounds horrible). Each and every one was special and all carry their grief. I even have the ashes of created horses that i can't bear to part with.


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## Saly

Another picture of our Oliver, who we miss very much every day!


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## Saly

It is my 60th birthday today, and I woke up in tears missing my Oliver. Love you Oliver, miss you so much!


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## cat owner again

Maybe inappropriate but happy birthday. At our age, the birthdays are even more important. A grandchild helped me forget the pain. I hope that in time Bummy will relax and let you know her full personality. I hate the pain of losing our fur babies but moving on in life can help.


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## Mandy and Ellie

Saly, happy happy 60th birthday to you! Oliver is looking down on you smiling, missing you as well, I'm certain. I wish I could send my little Tootsie and Ellie to give you snuggles.


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## marie5890

Happy Birthday Saly.

Hugs to you. I know Oliver is close to you and like M&E said, missing you.


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## Saly

I miss him so very much, I remember thinking when he was failing, as each day passed - I wanted time to stand still, I knew that each new day was bringing me closer and closer to having to let him go and there is no way I could stop it.
Love him!!!!


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## Arianwen

Very sadly, many of us have been through the same anguish but that really doesn't help you. He isn't as far away as you think. Bless you!


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## Saly

I love that you said "he isn't as far away as I think", to think he is near does make me feel better.


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## Saly

*Oliver's birthday*

My Oliver would have been 18 today, we were so blessed to have you in our family for 17 1/2 years. I still miss you every day, I don't think that will ever change. The tears are less frequent, but there are days that are not so good.
You were such a sweet, loving boy. You gave us so much, so many memmories, and so many smiles, you are forever in our hearts, my furry little love of my life!! We love you!!!


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## burt

Olivers birthday is the same day as my birthday, im glad you updated the post because I really wanted to write..

I really really love the pictures of Oliver, he was a absolute beauty, I gave him one look and I immediatly felt the sorrow in my heart to lose such a friend. 

I cant help but to see my own boy walking in the tall grass when I look at your pictures.. Oh my god the pain in my heart that I never new existed, real...raw....sorrow

Time never ceases, I find myself wondering how did time suddenly passed us by. How did we run out of time so fast? Why cant I see my boy in my yard? I would give the world for a hug a kiss a sniff of his fur even his dragon breath 

Take comfort in knowing that I share your pain and you are not alone. I pray to god when our time runs out we will forever be with our loved ones


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## TranquilityBlue

Oliver was such a gorgeous kitty. I'm so sorry to hear about his passing


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## howsefrau32

I'm so sorry, my heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine the pain. How lucky you were to have him for 17 1/2 years. RIP sweet Oliver.


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## cat owner again

They stay in our hearts forever and probably never know how much we love them. They know that they are happy and well taken care of. RIP Oliver


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## marie5890

HUGS....

Happy Birthday, Sweet Oliver!!! Eternal petpets and nose kisses. You are still, to this day, so very loved. And yes, so very missed.


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## Jenny bf

Happy Birthday Oliver. You were and are loved family member who is not forgotten for a moment


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## Saly

You are all so right, the pain is so strong and so raw, I never thought I could have this type of pain in missing him. I have had family members pass away, and for some reason this pain is much different, I believe it is because you actually do everything for the furry little ones, they depend on you for everything in their lives. Before he left us, I would just want time to stand still, I knew it wasn't going to be long, but the time just kept on going. I am doing better, it has been 5 months now, but the pain is still so very strong and so very raw. I still see him everywhere in the house, I have learned to smile when I think of him, I want to remember him with smiles instead of tears, but there are frequent times when the tears get the best of me. He was such a huge part of our lives. Just this past month I was able to pick up his placemat where he ate, wasn't able to put it away before this. I bought a little table to put there so I wasn't looking at the empty spot. I have his little cat tree in our bedroom, I won't put it away, I did once, I had to take it back out almost had an anxiety attack!!! That being said, I am doing better, I am adjusting, it is the only thing I can do.


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## Saly

Another thing I wanted to mention, and maybe some of you can understand, I have become more religious since his passing, praying that someday when my time does come, that I can see him again. I know he is in good hands.


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## howsefrau32

Saly said:


> Another thing I wanted to mention, and maybe some of you can understand, I have become more religious since his passing, praying that someday when my time does come, that I can see him again. I know he is in good hands.


Your last two posts have made me tear up. I know what you mean, when it's a relative or loved one, it's awful, but very different, and this seems worse. I think you nailed it. It's because we do everything for them, and they are with us every minute, and they are our children. I have yet to lose one of my cats, but I did lose a dog that I adored in 2008, and I was bedridden with grief for over a week. Then I decided to foster a dog, a springer spaniel, which is what he was, and it was a wonderful experience, and it really helped me heal. Of course, you do adjust and get better at coping, but you never really get over it. I still stepped over the place next to my bed on the floor where my dog slept every night, I did that for over a year. 

Hang in there. There are lots of people here totally understand where you are. It's not an easy place to be, but I think it helps a little to talk to other cat people who really get just how hard it is. And then you meet some non-cat.....really non-animal person, who does not get why you're sad, and they think your crazy that you spent so much money on "just a cat", ugh. I have seriously come close to telling people like that off, mostly people in my own family. But you will never get that here, we will just be sad and heartbroken for you. 

I understand about becoming more religious after something like this. I am not particularly very religious but consider myself very spiritual, and very much a believer, and I never prayed harder than when I almost lost one of my cats a month ago. And it has made me think about things a lot more than I did. I think it's just like when you do lose a person, like a parent or someone very close to you, you change. Usually for the better. At least I did. You definitely get people always saying "don't sweat the small things", I definitely got that afterwards. And I also learned not to be as angry with people who are jerks, lol, to just let go of it. 

(((((Hugs))))) and prayers to help you get through this.


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## marie5890

I remember when my Blues and then, 10 weeks later, her sister, Rhythm, passed. It was weeks before I would vacuum because I didnt want to get rid of their fur yet. Infact, the vacuum was red, and Blues HATED it. I called it the "big red monster" and she would hide. After I finally did vacuum, I had to give that vacuum away. I couldnt use it any more.

AFA religious. I was before, but I find myself even more grateful for the gifts of creation, esp of non-human creatures. I'm always telling God "thank you for such wonderful creatures. Thank you for having them being part of my life. They are such a gift."

When I had to help Blues, then Rhythm, to the Bridge, each time I told them it was time for them to go back to the Love that created them. And I believe that. Love made them, and it was time for them to go back to that Love. 

HUGS Saly. It's been over 2 years for me when I had to send them back "home", and the pain isnt nearly as raw, but from time to time, I am sad, I cry, and I miss them.

We understand, we really do.


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## Saly

Thank you all so much for your replys, they are comforting to me - I know I am not alone in my feelings. My husband also gave me a heart shaped locket with a cross - Oliver's fur is in it. I wear it every day. "If you grieve deeply, you have loved greatly" - this is so true. Never knew I could feel such deep sorrow, pain, and loss. My husband feels the same way. I have a few good friends that are "cat" people that have helped me also, it means so much to know others understand. I will never "get over it", it will just become a part of who I am. Forever loving my Oliver!


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## marie5890

Saly said:


> I will never "get over it", it will just become a part of who I am. Forever loving my Oliver!


And in it's own way, Saly, that, in and of itself, is a gift. Forever loving those we do love.


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## Saly

yes, that is true, it is a gift to have loved so deeply!


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## TranquilityBlue

Was Oliver a blue point? He was beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss, but so happy that he brought you so much happiness, and you to him. It seems like he lead a wonderful, fulfilled life.


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## Saly

well, it is one year ago today that we had to let Oliver go. The first few days, weeks, months were very, very hard. I never knew what grief was until we lost Oliver. He was such a huge part of our lives, so much more than just a "cat", he was our little boy, or as my husband would say "the little guy". We talk about him every day, usually with smiles, sometimes (with me) it's tears. The missing him is every day, don't think that will ever go away, I am just used to it now, just a part of every day life, but now after a year, when I think of him it is usually with happy thoughts, and he gave us so many happy memmories! As I have said he was the "furry little love of our lives"!!
Love you my Oliver!!! Miss you sooooo much!!!!
Sally


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## eldercat

I find when certain times of year come I am more sensitive - it's an anniversary and my heart remembers.


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## Jenny bf

These little furbabies dig far into our hearts so when they go it leaves a deep hole that takes time to heal even a little. I am glad that a year on you think of all the lovely memories he left you with. Keep enjoying rainbow Bridge Oliver


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## 10cats2dogs

Saly,
(((HUGS))) We never do forget them...they are in our hearts forever♡♡♡
Sharon


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## spirite

I can't believe it's already been a year, Saly. I remember when you began this thread. Isn't it strange that it can feel so long ago and so recent at the same time? It's been a little over 9 months since I lost my Margaux, and whenever I realize how much time has passed, I'm stunned. It feels like just a few days ago that she was here. Yet I also know that I've missed her for a very long time. 

Hugs to you and your husband. So many of us know what you're feeling.


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## Saly

I know exactly what you mean, it seems like just yesterday he was here sitting on the couch! It seems like I can turn around and he is still here. His presence is still everywhere, which is a good thing, I smile now thinking of him, now and then there are tears, and missing him will always be there, but he made us so happy with all his antics, we can't help but smile when we talk of him. It was a long road, and the first 6 months were extremely hard for me, but time has made the smiles appear again. I am so thankful that we had 17 1/2 years with him, he was such a joy!! The expressions on his face were priceless! He will always be with me,
Sally


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## bkitty

Sorry for your loss. They become such a large part of our lives.


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