# Too Attached? Getting Tired...



## Husky42 (Sep 28, 2008)

My life has not been going in a direction I am happy with, I've not worked in 2 years, I've been a student and now that I have my degree, i feel like I did two years ago.

I am moving out of my current place on the 4th of April into a barn. Its a nice barn mind you but it still a barn, it just has a condo attached to it. 

Rent is free at this place as my mother and brother will be in the house. However, I am not thrilled to be moving back home. However, I never wanted to settle down where I currently am either, only came here for school


I have a chance to go to Hawaii, get setup for a few mths and try and find work. The ONLY thing stopping me from going at this point is my cat.

Mom will take great care of him until I either A. Fail in Hawaii or B. Succeed and can have him shipped. 

I am struggling internally about leaving my cat at my moms. Yes he gets to go outside again, all summer long outside on the farm my cat will be immensely happy - I know this, but being away from him I fear will pain me.

Now, all my friends my brother my mom they think im nuts because I'm so attached. Nobody thinks I can stay away from him more then a month.

Its obvious that I have a very unhealthy attachment to my pet and am possibly sacrificing a life in Hawaii due to that choice if i cant bring myself to go.

I'm just looking for some help here, some thoughts and words of encouragement from other cat owners. 

My intention is not to Abandon my cat, just try and get established in Hawaii and ship him over when I am.

Oh and the whole getting tired aspect of this post is simply that, I'm so tired on my reliance on my cat. I love him so much but I'm reliant on him to stay positive and going in life... and in a way I'm just tired of being so emotionally dependent on my cat.


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## Dave_ph (Jul 7, 2009)

See my post "*I love the girls but* "

I'm making major sacrafices for the kitties too. Some people would call it unhealthy and pull some macho crap about them just being pets but those people are missing out.

I just wish I could send them to summer camp like you're doing.


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

I know exactly what you mean. Actually, I'm not sure what I can say as I'm in the same boat as you. All my furkids are my life. I am also very emotionally dependent on them too. So dependent that I feel hesitant about even going out to shop. I don't like to leave them for long periods of time despite the fact that my mother is home all the time to look after them (I can't completely trust her because she's not in the best of health herself and she's scared of cats..go figure). I admit this is very unhealthy as it interferes with daily routines. I'm also trying to find a way to deal with it.

However, as a outsider, I can say that since you have found an opportunity in Hawaii then it's probably best that you give it a shot. If you succeed there:

1) You will have higher self confidence, happiness, and will feel better emotionally. This will help to loosen the emotional dependence on your cat because you will find that you can feel good about yourself even without your cat. 

2) You can bring your cat over and therefore, don't have to worry about his well being.

3) Regardless if you succeed in your career or not, you will meet new ppl there, have a new change in environment. Those two things will open your horizons which in turn will improve your mood. It will also serve to distract you, give you something else to think about. 

4) You'll have one less thing to worry about. Although money isn't everything, it is still a necessity to survival. If you can succeed there, at least you won't have to worry about food, water, etc etc on top of your other problems.

Sometimes, you just have to take that leap and jump out of your comfort zone to find somethign better.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

I've had periods where I thought I was too emotionally wrapped up in my cat too. I've never had kids and didn't know I had this amount of nurturing in me, but sure enough I did. Did I mention over-protective? I now carry Murphy down from the kitchen cabinets, placing him ever-so-softly on the floor, to avoid him jumping down and breaking a toe. (That's you, Marie.) I'm especially overly invested in his _emotional _well-being -- is he happy? What can I do to make him more happy? If he could talk what would he say about us?

I read something a while back that helped, though. It said: Cats are living their own lives. I repeat. _Cats are living their own lives_. Their lives are linked with ours, and our homes definitely contribute to their overall experience, but they are their own beings. That relieves me of some of the heavy pressure I feel to make sure he's a happy camper.


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## tigressbythetail (Dec 1, 2010)

I understand. Many times in my own life I wouldn't have bothered getting out of bed if not for the fur kids.

But you've already accomplished a lot by getting a college degree! You should feel really good about that! Opportunity is what you have been working so hard for these passed two years, and now here it is so grab it!

Anything you do to improve your life improves Jack's life too, you know. You have to look at that way. Sounds like he'll have a wonderful time at your Mom's farm. Go have a great time in Hawaii while looking for work. (Says the woman who keeps putting off a cruise to Hawaii because she can't stand the thought of being away from the bratz)


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## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

What I love the most about this website is that there are so many people like me, whose lives revolve largely around their cats, and they're perfectly ok with it. 

That said, though, you're in a very real dilemma. Whichever road you take, you'll never know if the other would've been better. I've learned that when there's a big dilemma, it's because both options have equal amounts of good and bad, so it doesn't matter which one you choose. You may decide to stay and find a wonderful job where you can take your cat. You may go to Hawaii and find your dream job there. We don't know. Just do what feels better. 

If you stay because of your relationship with your cat, it's perfectly ok too. Especially since he has given you what no one and nothing else has - the desire to live. I have absolutely no family or friends and my cat is all the relationship I have. I wouldn't relocate without him, and I don't feel bad about it. I know we're supposed to change our plans according to our relationships with humans and not with animals, but I beg to differ.


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