# cats sleep together then not get along?



## mimi3908 (Aug 25, 2010)

I'm also trying to get our two kitties to get along and there just seem to be some odd behaviors that I can't figure out and it just so frustrating to see sometime good behavior followed by bad.

We've got a 1.5 yr old female calico (Fibby) that we began fostering about a month ago and she is much bigger, faster and aggressive than my Gibby who is a smaller 2 yr old lazy tabby who has been with us for about 3 months now. Both girls are supposedly spayed since we got them from reputable rescue shelters. 

Early on we did the usual things regarding introducing Fibby to Gibby. Exchanging sleeping blankets, even food bowls and let them have supervised playtime in the same room although we played we them separately. At first, they were curious of each other and then they appeared to gradually know of each other presence/smell quite well. What we didn't realize was that while Gibby likes to play, she doesn't appear to like to play with other kitties and even with us it took her awhile to even give us cuddles so her indifference to new cat was not that all surprising - still, we thought she wanted a friend. On the other hand, Fibby is a very sociable cat to people, but she was apparently taken in not too long ago into the shelter so she had a lot of outdoor hunting instincts left in her. We figured her size and speed and fanatic playing is sign that she still has fresh hunting skills. And perhaps here lies the problem where Fi wants to play rough and Gi doesn't - in fact, Gi doesn't want anything to do with Fi. Ok, we now realize this. But still, we have them both and trying to make the best out of the current situation. What we originally planned for were two kitties playing with each other now turned into one bigger kitty Fi stalking and potentially pouncing the other quite often even though that maybe Fi's way of making friends??

The odd part of all of this is that Fi doesn't seem to bother Gi when we are not around or when Gi is sleeping or resting in her favorite spot completely with her back turned and vulnerable - Fi never attacks her when she is like that. Even more odd is that Fi always check where Gi is sleeping and will try to sleep next to her. Fi is noticeably upset when we put Gi in another room to sleep (to give her some peace) and close the door. Fi would literally sit by the door and cry until we open it and if Gi doesn't make a fuzz/growl, then Fi will slowly curl somewhere close to her and they sleep... it is like this almost every night.

We love both kitties, but it is very frustrating to go through a bunch of routines to keep them separated mainly for Gi's safety because we've seen the way Fi plays with small toys - she really goes after them. We are thinking jealousy issues and Fi's alpha nature might be something that causing tensions? Right now we separate the kitties at certain times of day and night when we know Fi is super aggressive but the whole purpose of getting Fi was to have a playmate for Gi - did we err in getting a playmate that is too big and too aggressive? but Fi is so lovable to us and way more affectionate to us than Gi... just can't figure this out - they sleep together fine, but other times Fi will stalk Gi endlessly and will pounce...will this ever change if one appears to be an aggressive alpha female?


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Cats tend to mellow out as they get older...say around 5-6 years. In my experience calicos can be pretty bossy, and usually end up being the alpha cat. It sounds to me as if Fibby is really just wanting to play, and unless there is furious fighting and fur flying, I would ignore Gibby's growling and hissing. Fibby respects and likes Gibby , otherwise Fi would bother her when her back was turned or if you were not in the room. I would be inclined to ignore the little tiffs. When they are playing together nicely, or lying beside each other I would reward their good behavior with a few treats and lots of loving, and lots of "Good girls!". It's possible Fi is a little jealous of Gi, so you might try giving Fi some extra attention and loving out of Gi's sight and hearing---you don't want to have two jealous cats. Because Fi is alpha she may need the extra attention. Let us know how it goes.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Another thought....often times cats will become more aggressive if they are hungry. Altho I don't free feed my cats; they get a meal 2x/day, when my boy starts getting too aggressive with my girl, that's when I bring out the treats or catnip. I try to distract him, since he's the aggressor 90% of the time, with a toy first, as I don't want him to associate rough attacking play that it will result in treats! I give them one treat each and then toss them around some rooms and let them have a treasure hunt.


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