# Feel guilty leaving kitten at home.



## Giants84 (Oct 9, 2011)

Hows it going, feel really guilty leaving my 6 month old kitten at home while I go on vacation for a week. A friend will feed her twice a day and clean her litter for me, but I just feel horrible leaving her alone without much human contact for a week. Need some advice, is 6 months to young to leave her alone, she meows for attention all the time and I just feel bad knowing she will be meowing while I am away. Thanks appreciate it.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

I know exactly how you feel. Every vacation I've taken since 2005 (the first year I ever had a cat) has been diminished a little, or even a lot, by missing Murphy and worrying about him while we're gone. And we have a cat sitter who comes twice a day!

One thing that may help is to ask your friend to e-mail you every day after she's seen your kitten, just to reassure you that everything is okay. I find those e-mails really make a difference. I also bet your kitten doesn't go around meowing when you're not there!


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## kwarendorf (Oct 12, 2009)

When I go on vacation I have a cat sitter come in twice a day. My GF has someone come in once a day. The sitter spends 45 minutes each visit feeding, playing etc. It's not as much as they're used to but it eases my guilt  

I'm always convinced that they aren't going to like me anymore when I get home. This has yet to be the case


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## cooncatbob (May 27, 2011)

I used to bribe my friend with food and beer to spend time twice a day with my cat when I went on business trips.


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## Howlinbob (Mar 8, 2012)

Tough one. When we got our 2 kittens, we stopped going away at all. We even stopped going to the pub at night! We didn't leave them until we went away for one night at New Year, when they were 10 months old. And then felt bad.


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## Dicesmom (Feb 28, 2012)

Since I have other animals I had a family member stay at my house when I go on vacation. Luckily I had two stay last year(I cat person and also a dog person) so my cats got LOTS of attention since the cat person doesnt have any cats. I still worried about them and last year I was so stressed since I was in Colorado with no phone service so other than email(had WiFi) or if I was off the mountain I could call and ask how they were.


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## Giants84 (Oct 9, 2011)

Thanks appreciate the replies, got my grandparents to come to my house in the evenings and play with her for a half hour. Still feel bad, but I need a vacation lol.


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## NRD (Mar 31, 2010)

October said:


> I know exactly how you feel. Every vacation I've taken since 2005 (the first year I ever had a cat) has been diminished a little, or even a lot, by missing Murphy and worrying about him while we're gone. And we have a cat sitter who comes twice a day!


This is just too true. Ever since I got my Fab Four two years ago, I've started dreading going away. I feel that way several weeks in advance. I, too, have a cat sitter who comes twice a day. The reason for my guilt has evolved. At first, when Snowball was terrified of Blizzy (i.e., the first year), I kept her isolated in my bedroom when I went away, so I felt guilty she was bored. I also dreaded the damage Hersh and Blizzy would do chasing each other around the house, though I guess that was more fear than guilt! (Once, I found a five-foot by two-foot oak book shelf, that had been sitting on brackets five feet above the ground, on the floor of my family room when I returned home. Amazingly, it had not smashed anything to pieces en route to the floor.)

More recently, now that there is comparatively more peace in the household, I just feel guilty that they will be bored to tears. I can tell from their behavior when I return that they sleep more than normal when I'm gone for a few days (this is possible!), but they've never seemed worse for wear. My cat sitter writes me nice notes telling me how cute they have been, and how hungry they appear to be at every meal (an old trick). 

Someone on this Forum once wrote about installing a remote camera and then looking in on his cats periodically. I thought that very clever but am afraid it would make me feel more guilty, not less.

On the bright side, I'm always really happy to see them when I return, and they seem super-affectionate the first few days I'm back--at least after Hersh seems to ignore me the first few hours.


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## Binkers (Mar 8, 2012)

Every human needs time away from their regular life to rebuild, refresh and renew. While you're gone, buy her some new and interesting toys for when you return. It may also decrease any anger issues she may have about your leaving. I've had several cats who refused to welcome me home (some for up to 2 days) because they were mad at me. They wouldn't come, didn't want pets and would sit 2-4 ft. away with their back to me. I was definately persona non grata! Or at least in the dog house!!


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## maggie23 (Mar 10, 2012)

*also feel guility leaving kitty at home even for an hour!*

orig post by binkers:
I've had several cats who refused to welcome me home (some for up to 2 days) because they were mad at me. They wouldn't come, didn't want pets and would sit 2-4 ft. away with their back to me. I was definately persona non grata! Or at least in the dog house!! 

that is sadly funny. such human behavior. wonder what they'd actually SAY to us if they could talk. maybe something like, "So there! See how YOU like it."

thank goodness they've got pretty tough constitutions and can learn to forgive and forget for the most part.


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## miranda99 (Mar 13, 2012)

I feel guilty too sometimes, but when I get home my cats usually can't be bothered to come see me at the door, and if they do, it's clear they're rather irritated that I woke them! I do sometimes leave the radio on in one room though, not sure if that helps, but you might try it.


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## Giants84 (Oct 9, 2011)

Thanks everyone for the replies, already on vacation in Miami and I miss her after a few hours but it's only a week will fly by. My friend will come by 3 times a day instead of two, lives in the same building as me so I feel better but still a bit sad.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

One time I asked a vet if our first cat's physical problems could have been caused by the stress of our having been gone on vacation for 5 days. She laughed and said, "Oh no. Lives must be led." So I say that to myself -- lives must be led.


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## littlesushi (Jun 8, 2011)

have a great vacation! i know how it feels, but you gotta get a break too! that's great that you can have your friend come in 3 times a day =).

i feel bad when we leave our kitties for work even, and sometimes even more so when we also have social plans. i thought getting 2 would diminish the guilt in that they would keep each other company, but i still feel bad and miss our babies. it's all about balance though. i make sure to give them as much love and snuggles the time we are at home with them


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## Giants84 (Oct 9, 2011)

Thanks sushi appreciate it.


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## robert4301 (Aug 27, 2011)

I'm likely to be flamed for this, but here goes. I had a bad and expensive experience boarding two cats almost 30 years ago. Since then, I leave my cats alone at home when out of town or on vacation. I don't have anybody check on them. I leave them _plenty _of kibble in a hopper, running water and three litter boxes each. This is fine for a week, the longest I'll leave them. Kitties have _always_ done fine. They greet me as if it's nothing very special even after a week. They are not stressed out at all. The main drawback is dealing with six litter boxes. I live in a condo and have a neighbor of 20 years who I keep informed when I'm out of town. The odds on anything going seriously wrong while I'm gone are very low, a risk I'm willing to take. I've been blessed over the years with cats that get along very well with each other. I just haven't worried about leaving them alone together.


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## MowMow (Nov 6, 2010)

robert4301 said:


> I'm likely to be flamed for this, but here goes. I had a bad and expensive experience boarding two cats almost 30 years ago. Since then, I leave my cats alone at home when out of town or on vacation. I don't have anybody check on them. I leave them _plenty _of kibble in a hopper, running water and three litter boxes each. This is fine for a week, the longest I'll leave them. Kitties have _always_ done fine. They greet me as if it's nothing very special even after a week. They are not stressed out at all. The main drawback is dealing with six litter boxes. I live in a condo and have a neighbor of 20 years who I keep informed when I'm out of town. The odds on anything going seriously wrong while I'm gone are very low, a risk I'm willing to take. I've been blessed over the years with cats that get along very well with each other. I just haven't worried about leaving them alone together.


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## Milky's Mammy (Oct 17, 2011)

I totally understand how you feel. I've only had Milky for abour 6 months, but since we've had him, I've dreaded going on holidays, or not being home every day. 

We went on our honeymoon last Christmas for a few days and every single day we missed him like crazy, bought presents for him thinking we'd feel less guilty but instead felt even worse because we missed him even more! We had someone come over twice daily while we were away to feed, play and take care of Milky, but it just didn't feel right even though she did a fantastic job. We just missed him too much. Since then, every opportunity we've had to go away I've rejected because I don't want to leave him alone.

Coming up next month is a "tomb cleaning day" which is an annual special ocassion where everyone goes to clean their ancestor's graves etc. My husband's ancestors happen to be in China, which will involve a 3 day trip for us. I am absolutely dreading leaving Milky alone again....

The only thing that makes me feel a bit better when we go away is that we have set up a live camera so that we can see Milky whenever we have access to the internet. However, I am doubting very much that there will be internet in rural places in China....


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