# One or two cats?



## Birman_4ever (Oct 22, 2006)

Hi everybody!

At the moment a have one indoor cat. But I know a few people who say that it is a must have to keep at least two indoor cats, because they are so social. I wonder if it is a must to have two, because every cat is different and sometimes I have heard from cats which want to live alone with their humans.
Do you have any ideas how to perceive whether a/my cat wants a partner? :2kitties 
Perhaps these observances will help: The breeder told me, that my tom liked it better to be with him than with his little brothers and sisters. And I also noticed that he is very clingy to me. Everywhere I go he is following and if he thinks he hasn`t my attention he loses his temper doing all those things he knows I don`t want him to do. :twisted: 
:catmilk


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## ChiaZ (Oct 24, 2004)

I've never heard of that.
I only have 1 cat but i think she does fine on her own. She's very VERY social with us, shes also spoiled rotten  hehe. But then again theres usually always someone home with her. Maybe get another cat if your not home alot? Not sure though, I think if you have a good bond with her bringing another cat in may make her jealous, I know if I devoted any of my attention to another pet (other then our dog) she'd be sooo upset. 
Guess it depends on your situation though. Personally I'd love another cat, I'd fill the house if i could.


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## Cat Daddy (Aug 3, 2005)

I think it depends on how many people live in the house too, like here it's just me, so 1 cat alone would be pretty lonely with me at work or school alot of the time, so I have 2. That also has to to consider what you can afford, me, I would like 4, thinking that would be a idea number for all kinds of fun, but the finances that go with them have to be considered, as to provide the best for them.


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

Actually to me it sounds like your cat is bored. Maybe a pal would be good for him.


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## nastusha799 (Feb 5, 2004)

It's started the same with me.....First 1 cat...then 2 cats...now I have THREE CATS LOL


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## Guest (Oct 24, 2006)

I have 4 cats and they all keep each other company when I'm not home. One of the cats was an "only cat" for about a year and she's still very clingy. I like having 4 of them....I like even numbers.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Tried two, going back to one. My little Birman is going back to being the only cat. Actually, it's the kitty with the issues, but a friend's son is soooooo IN LOVE with her (and vice-versa), they're taking her next week.


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

marie73 said:


> Tried two, going back to one.


Huh?!?!? What am I missing here????


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

coaster said:


> marie73 said:
> 
> 
> > Tried two, going back to one.
> ...


Haven't really posted about it.


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## blackeyedgurl (Jun 29, 2006)

We had 3, but the war that started because of it was just too much. One of our cat's was so into being the only cat that we actually think she may have helped some of our older cats to the rainbow bridge. Now she lives alone with 3 dogs (we think that she thinks she's a dog), and is in heaven. When the other 2 she originally lived with come up for the holidays she throws a fit and they fight and fight and fight the entire time. Okay she only fights with the other girl cat, and loves the boy cat.

The other 2 I think would actually die without the other. I can't even put them in seperate cat carriers to go to the vet. They always have to be together (they've been together since they were 2 weeks old). One actually is overly attatched to me as well, so the 3 of us have to stick together.

I think if you are gone a lot and there aren't a lot of people in the house getting another cat is a good idea. If they fight like they want to kill each other, then you might find that they are not happy together. Neutered males are easier to get to make friends. I have found that 2 females in the same house doesn't end well, even if they are both spayed. At our height we had 3 neutered males, one unaltered male and one spayed female and everyone was happy.

It also depends on your cat's personality. If it is a very domineering cat or an aloof cat a lot of the time they prefer to be the only cat, or like to make pals with dogs and people. If they are really social and are almost bugging you for attention, then it migt be a good idea to get them a friend to play with and also recieve affection from.

If you aren't sure, see if you can foster a cat for the local humane society, let them know that you would like to do this to see if your cat gets along with another cat, and that if they do, that you'll adopt this furball. Many will be fine with it. Unlike dogs, many cats need a few days or even weeks to acclimate to each other, so some HS are okay with you taking a cat on trial.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

We went down that path earlier this year. My misguided thought was that our cat would want a little friend. (This was my first cat, so I didn't know better.) We got a second one, and oh my gosh, was that a mistake. The first one HATED the second one, hissed constantly, was scared to death, and when it wasn't getting any better we very sadly took the second one back to the shelter. Lesson learned! They don't want a little friend -- they HATE the little cat who's invading their territory! I like the advice I read on this forum about a month ago. Someone said -- don't get a second cat for the first cat's sake; only get a second cat if YOU really want one.


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

Thanks, I think that was me that said that, but it was more like: "don't get a cat to solve a cat problem, ...."  

But since one doesn't know ahead of time whether a new cat will be accepted by a resident cat, the best way to handle bringing in a new cat is the cautious, conservative approach: a proper introduction, as spelled out in numerous on-line articles and threads on cat boards. A proper introduction can take weeks of separation; most problems arise when it's rushed or steps are skipped, or worst of all, when the new cat is just turned loose in the house. But a proper introduction can make the difference between a new cat being accepted or not, and it's worth the trouble to avoid all the grief to both humans and cats in a case like this.


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## sefaleth (Mar 8, 2006)

Just because you had one failed introduction doesn't mean that your cat will never get along with other cats, though. Coaster, didn't you have a failed introduction before you added your current third?

Sometimes it takes a few years for cats to become buddies - Felix hated the youngin's until he started slowing down and stepped down from dominant cat - then they were best buddies, but it didn't happen for a good 6 years or so.


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

sefaleth said:


> ... Coaster, didn't you have a failed introduction before you added your current third?...


It would be difficult to label it a "failed introduction" because although it was a rocky start between Tommy and Mellie, it wasn't anything worse than many people experience. It was several months before things went bad, and then I spent close to a year still trying to make things work out. To this day I don't really know whether a longer and more thorough introduction would have prevented it; but I wish that at least I'd made a better start. I think it's best to go overboard at the beginning, because once things go sour, it's very difficult to fix. I agree that one bad experience doesn't mean that things will never work out. Cats are individuals, like people, and I guess some are just meant to never be able to get along.


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## sefaleth (Mar 8, 2006)

I don't know much about the details of your introduction, but I don't think it's unrealistic for an introduction to play out over six months - which is about when your problems started appearing. 

A lot of times, the signals for future problems are there if you know what to watch for - possessiveness over litterboxes, food areas, laps, mock charging, redirected aggression towards other cats, people, or even toys. A lot of people read it as the resident cat being 'mad' at them for bringing an usurper home, or don't think much of the cat playing more, but it's really more the cat being good and redirecting that aggression away from the new cat because you told them to do so. Sometimes the situation resolves itself, but without human reinforcement of the 'good' redirection towards toys, it can go either way. 

My personal belief is that it's best to tell cats how they rank in the household, and how feeding order/lap time is decided. It's better to get them settled in an arbitrary routine that you decide without letting them question how it is decided- because you then take the role of dominant cat. Feed one cat in the morning, and if the other one shows aggression, it gets a timeout. Feed the other in the evening, and the same rules apply. If the cats get through feeding time without an incident, both cats get a treat. Same with lap time/undivided attention. The cold shoulder works particularly well as a disciplinary tool on clingy cats- the cold stare and withdrawal of attention/contact probably translate into cat body language.


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

I agree 100% with the second paragraph -- things I wish I had known when I first got cats. But I'm going to have to waffle on the technique described in the third paragraph. Maybe I didn't go about it the right way, but when I started having problems with Tommy I did try behavior modification, which included a trying to establish my choice of hierarchy, as you describe.

Frankly, I doubt that technique is going to work except with cats who are already inclined to go along with it. If a cat has his/her mind made up that things are going to be a certain way, I don't think there's anything that can be done to change it. Perhaps you have more experience and therefore better results, but I don't think that applies to the typical cat owner, who's just going to be frustrated trying to mold their cats' social structure to the way they want it.

Maybe the key is to recognize potential problems BEFORE they become problems, as you described, looking for the "signals." So the undesired behavior can be headed off before it becomes routine. But again, I just don't think the average cat owner, especially a new cat owner, knows what they're seeing when the cats give off their "signals." By the time they know they've got a dysfunctional cat family, it's already too late.


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## Nell (Apr 7, 2005)

I think most cats can get along and live with another cat, or cats.
I think that how they get along with others and which cats they become friendly with depends a lot on the individual personalities of the cats. Just like with people, some cats get along better with some than they do with others. Some are great friends, some don't like each other but learn to tolerate one another, and some just won't get along at all.
My cat Trixie is a good example. In her years, she has lived with a variety of other cats. Some were okay, others she tolerated but didn't like. There was a kitten that she loved, and now she and Sadie get along great.


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## sefaleth (Mar 8, 2006)

coaster said:


> Maybe the key is to recognize potential problems BEFORE they become problems, as you described, looking for the "signals." So the undesired behavior can be headed off before it becomes routine. But again, I just don't think the average cat owner, especially a new cat owner, knows what they're seeing when the cats give off their "signals." By the time they know they've got a dysfunctional cat family, it's already too late.


I agree 100%  and it may already have been too late for behavior mod for Tommy in your case - once behavior has been established, it's incredibly hard to reverse it. 

I do assert my status as dominant as a matter of habit - I feed them when I call them for feeding, I eat first, I groom them at my convenience, and they get scruffed mother-cat style if they don't like it, and I make them come to me to play or get a treat, not the cabinet or toybox. I also pick cats with kitten/submissive personalities, so I definitely have an easier time getting that to work for me.


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

Oh, I agree, the human should be the dominant animal in the group. And if one knows how cats evaluate and maintain their place in the group, one can use cat "language" to do that.

Several times I've had to have a stare-down with Rocket when he got too out of line, and he's always looked away first. I've also used hissing to good effect on occasion.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

Even if an introduction goes well, the thing I wasn't prepared for when we got the 2nd one was the mental toll it would take on me. Instead of being worried about ONE cat being happy all the time, I was now worried about TWO. I spent my evenings going back and forth between the two of them, making sure everything was okay. So I don't know . . . maybe tougher people aren't as hung up on this kind of thing, but what I thought was going to be a decrease in my stress because of the first cat not being lonely, actually turned out to be an increase.


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

October said:


> ....the mental toll it would take on me. ....


Ha ha :lol: Yeah, being a cat caretaker is like being a parent. It's definitely a challenge. I remember everything I went through trying to "cat-proof" my house when each of three cats had different ways of trying to destroy it. It seemed I could never stay one step ahead of them. And every time I heard a cat sneeze, or a cat wouldn't eat his food..... :? But it gets easier when you get to know your cats and they get to know you. Everybody sort of settles in an accomodation of sorts.


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## Birman_4ever (Oct 22, 2006)

*doubtful*

Hi everybody!

Actually I have already found a kitten as playmate for my cutie. But after reading all your answering I´m really doubtful if it is the right decision. 
What shall I do now? Please help!

See you 
Birman_4ever :catmilk


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

I'd say go for it. But before you bring the new kitty home, plan ahead on how you're going to do a proper introduction. Google "introducing new cat" and/or "new cat introduction" and you should find plenty of articles on how to go about it so you create a happy cat family. If you do it the right way from the first day and be patient, you'll be well rewarded.

And we're here any time you've got questions.


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## nanook (Jun 12, 2005)

Ditto to what Tim said.


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## jennifer2 (Mar 5, 2005)

Go for it.
I honestly think it depends on the cat, some will accept other cats and others won't.
Mine tolerate eachother, but are not buddies by any means and they've been together practically since birth. I don't think there is anyway I could ever successfully bring another cat into this household, and don't plan on trying it with the 2 current cats I have now.


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

October said:


> I like the advice I read on this forum about a month ago. Someone said -- don't get a second cat for the first cat's sake; only get a second cat if YOU really want one.





coaster said:


> Thanks, I think that was me that said that, but it was more like: "don't get a cat to solve a cat problem, ...."


Actually the first quote was me :lol: :lol: :lol: But I like yours too, Tim.

Introducing a new cat is very stressful. Holly wants out of that bedroom in the worst way, she knows there are other cats on the other side of the door and she wants to play with them and she wants to be with me. On the other hand, while I think Kobi could handle it, I know Maggie isn't ready. Kobi hears Holly meowing and sees her sticking her paws under the door and just sits and watches or goes over an sniffs, but doesn't seem unduly upset. But Maggie goes over and sniffs, then hisses and runs. And neither of them are eating as well as normal, which tells me that they're feeling uncomfortable. 

So it's really hard, I feel really bad for Holly, on the other hand I don't want to risk a bad intro with Maggie. But since I've been through this before and I know the benefits of doing it right....I told myself that I'm not allowed to stress over it and will make decisions about when to take the next step with my head and not my heart.


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## Birman_4ever (Oct 22, 2006)

Hi everybody!

Thank you all for your advice. And now the latest news: IT IS DONE!!! Cosmo has a new friend and thanks God they are doing well together. 
If you want to know more about our newbie than go to -->> http://www.catforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=377605#377605

See you
Birman_4ever :catmilk


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## nanook (Jun 12, 2005)

Congratulations!!!


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

Yay! Congrats!


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## siamesecat (Jul 3, 2005)

I checked out your cuties and they seem to be getting along splendidly!  Congrats on finding a new best buddy for Cosmo! We are considering tackling cat #3 in our house... :roll:


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