# Cat owner stereotypes



## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

I've been considering adopting two little kittens, giving me a total of four cats. A couple people at work are excited for me, but mostly I've been getting a lot of grief. Someone told their boss and he told me to my face that no guy will date me if he finds out I have four cats. I looked at him and said, "You were saying the other day that you haven't dated for years. Good grief, how many cats do you *HAVE*?" :roll: 

I know the "old maid" stereotype is a house full of cats, but seriously, do guys really feel like that? We have guys on this Forum with several cats. Have you ever run into women who were put off by your owning several cats?

I'm curious now. Do you tell the person on the first date how many cats you have? Do you let them get drunk before you break it to them? Do you let them know after you tell them about your criminal past and just-out-of-prison-brother and bad credit and all your stalkers so it doesn't seem so bad? :wink:

Some of you *must* have stories about this.


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## fluffykitty95 (Jul 22, 2007)

This is off topic, but I am in LOVE with Cinderella. What type of cat is she?


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## nanook (Jun 12, 2005)

> Do you let them know after you tell them about your criminal past and just-out-of-prison-brother and bad credit and all your stalkers so it doesn't seem so bad?


Oooooh, is THAT how it works? Good to know! LOL


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

fluffykitty95 said:


> This is off topic, but I am in LOVE with Cinderella. What type of cat is she?


Thank you! She's my beautiful Birman kitty. :luv


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

nanook said:


> Oooooh, is THAT how it works? Good to know! LOL


That's my plan so far! 

Seriously, though, I haven't dated for several years. *My* choice. So now it's going to be blamed on my cats? Puhleeeze! Let's put the blame where it belongs. My thighs.


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## Leazie (Apr 14, 2007)

I don't know if it works with cats, but a person on another forum told the story of when she first met her husband she told him that she had 25 dogs, even tho she had over 30 at the time. She joked that like 25 was better than 30? But, she knew he was a keeper when his only response was, "What kind of dog food do you use?"

I guess if you have to tell him about the murder charge first then he's probably not the guy for you, anyway.


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## harry (Jan 25, 2006)

It wouldn't make a difference to me, however, I am married and I have 3 cats. If that person doesn't like you for who you are then screw 'em


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

When my best friend lost her 18 yr male cat, she said to me "I'm taking this harder than my divorces (she's had 2) or any break up...my relationship with Jasper was the longest and best relationship I've ever had with a man"

Moral of the story.....if the guy can't handle the cats, too bad...cause the cats will still be there when the guy is gone.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

Your thighs!!?? That's hysterical!!! Get in line on that one.

I didn't have a cat when I was dating most recently (I've been about equal amounts single and dating/married). However, I must say that after about the age of 21, people assume that anyone they meet is going to come with some "baggage." I had a bunch of first and second dates with men, and I was always surprised at how little they seemed to care about things like whether the woman has kids, ex-husbands, etc. I kept thinking I should have been a prize for not having kids, and they just continually didn't see it that way!! ****.

So what I'm trying to say is -- if a guy likes you anyway, he's not going to care one little bit about you having 4 cats. He'll excuse that away in his mind just like we do about them being bald, having bad credit, seeing their ex-wife every weekend, or whatever.


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## catnip (Aug 19, 2003)

I would be more concerned with how my cats would react to my date than vice-versa. I too, have not dated in many years and my cats are my family, it has never once crossed my mind that it may become a dating issue. The last girlfriend I had (long time ago), my oldest would crap right in front of the television everytime she would spend the night. :lol: I took that as stern disapproval. I still have the cat. :mrgreen: 

Marie, you may want to really think long and hard about 2 more cats. I've had 4 and as many as 5 at one time and it's a handful for a single person living alone. Especially if medical issues crop up and all of a sudden you can't afford to care for all of them. I have 3 now and don't plan to add anymore.


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## morea (Feb 8, 2005)

Cat owner stereotypes that I've encountered:

- How many cats do you have? Oh my goodness, your house must SMELL. 

(I've had as many as 16 cats - including fosters - and no, my house didn't smell. I kept it clean! Visitors even commented that they never would have known that I HAD cats, had they not seen them walking into the room.)

- You're very young to be an 'old maid.' Men don't like cats, you know. 

(I'm nearly 30, and I know what my priorities are. If a guy didn't want to date me because I rescue cats, then that's a guy I wouldn't be interested in dating anyway! That's part of who I am, and if he can't embrace that then he isn't the one for me. My cats are part of my family, and that's that. I am fortunate enough to be married to a wonderful guy who had NO pets before we got together and who has come to love my cats as much as I do - we have 4 right now.)

- But what do you do with all the kittens? 

(As though a responsible cat owner would leave 9+ cats unaltered to mate at will! :roll

There are so many people who believe this stuff that it boggles the mind. I was always pleased to bring non-cat people into my house so that they could see for themselves.


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## AddFran (Jul 10, 2004)

Listen, If I can be a single mom and have a dog with severe seperation anxiety that ate my entire apartment and a cat that hisses within coming of two feet of her and still bag a good guy, it can be done!! :lol: 

Okay, that makes one child (a really great one though), a neurotic dog and one cat, but then who do you think I called to come pick up black kitty when we found her in the 3 BR model apartment at the community I was working at? Yep, BF of only a few months came to the rescue - picked her up, brought her to my apartment and when i got off work that day I found him asleep on my couch in front of the tv with new black kitty lying across his chest. THAT's when I new he was a keeper! 

And, he came along with a cat that he had taken custody of in his previous relationship (Trot). Then of course you all know how I came across the 3 kittens...

Moral of the story, he'll take you how you are, cats and all, if it's meant to be. Do you wear a t-shirt on your first date that says 'crazy cat lady', no? But, don't be ashamed of loving your animals and having more than the count of the average home behind the white picket fence! 

If you take good care of them and you house doesn't stink - LOL - then you do whatever you want and if this guy can't love you and your kitties, then he's not the right guy! 

My mother HATES cats. She won't even come if I have cats in my house...
Why do you think I have so many. :twisted: So, ya see, cats keep AWAY 
the bad guys! LOL. Just kidding, I love my mom, but you see what I'm sayin'?


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## rivernuts (Apr 12, 2006)

I'm a male with 2 cats going on 3 and am curious as to how most woman view men with cats, I use to see guys walking cats and think to myself he must be gay, now I walk my cats all the time and feel others are thinking the same thing. By the way I would have no problem being gay, I'm just not.

Ken aka the gaymaid


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## AddFran (Jul 10, 2004)

rivernuts said:


> I'm a male with 2 cats going on 3 and am curious as to how most woman view men with cats, I use to see guys walking cats and think to myself he must be gay, now I walk my cats all the time and feel others are thinking the same thing. By the way I would have no problem being gay, I'm just not.
> 
> Ken aka the gaymaid


I think it's quite cute. My ex-bf kept custody of one of our cats and he has had no trouble dating since we broke up a few years back. My current bf came with a cat as well. I find men with animals more attractive. They seem a bit more caring and responsible. When they are caring for another being, they still live the life where you have to be home a certain time, or you cant' stay away for very long without making arrangements, etc. - I think a man who could not take care of a cat would have serious commitment issues. :lol: That should have been one of my prerequisites...

ME: "Do you have any pets?"
MAN: "No, I don't have the time for pets."
ME: "NEXT!!"

Who cares if the neighbors think your gay. Wear a rainbow t-shirt next time you're out there walkin' the kitties!


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## Leazie (Apr 14, 2007)

The day that absolutely the day that cemented in my heart that my hubby was the man for me was when he stood in front of a cage at the Humane Society crying because 2 of our foster kitties where there and scared. He brought them home because he couldn't stand to see them like that.

If that's not a good person, I don't know what is.

Oh, and Ken, my hubby proudly parades the cats up and down the street and I think he looks good :wink: .


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## morea (Feb 8, 2005)

Ken - I love men who love cats. I think that it shows that they are committed and nurturing. 



AddFran said:


> I find men with animals more attractive. They seem a bit more caring and responsible. When they are caring for another being, they still live the life where you have to be home a certain time, or you cant' stay away for very long without making arrangements, etc. - I think a man who could not take care of a cat would have serious commitment issues. That should have been one of my prerequisites...
> 
> ME: "Do you have any pets?"
> MAN: "No, I don't have the time for pets."
> ME: "NEXT!!"


that's it exactly! Well said! :lol:


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

You guys are so funny! These stories are great. I'd just like to make it clear that the reason for this thread wasn't in any way to help me make up my mind about the kittens. I was more looking for stories and anedotes on how people in your lives -- dates, whoever -- have reacted upon finding out about your having several cats. I'm anxious to hear from Mike Page. 8O 

Ken, you cracked me up!  

Steve, money isn't an issue, I have a "cat account" - thank goodness lately, huh? :? 

And seriously, my fur babies are the only "baggage" I have. A guy should be so lucky! :wink:


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## Nini (May 6, 2007)

That's funny, because ever since we took the foster kittens in, all I have been doing is take care of cats, think about cats, talk about cats, worry about cats... and hoping that Hubby would not get fed up with my high-strung worried state and the bazillion times the word "kitties" came out of my mouth every day. Turns out he loves them just as much as I do, and "admires my committment" and love of animals... he is the one who insisted to keep Obi, and if we had a house he would have insisted to keep Chewie and Wicket too. Guess I found a keeper :wink: 

I have several friends at home with extended furry families - both guys and girls, in their late twenties - and they make it a point to date people who like animals, and won't resent the time they spend taking care of their animal friends. I agree with everyone that if someone is dumb or ignorant enough to believe all the old stereotypes, they are probably not worth the shot (unless you feel up to teaching them, hehe)

My grandma on the phone:
- What?! You have five cats in the house? It must reek! Do they pee everywhere? I hope they haven't destroyed your furniture yet!
- ...
:? 

With two adult cats and three kittens my place does not smell like cat (and it's a studio apt!), except in the morning when it's been sitting in the boxes all night... and you can also sit on my couch and not look like you just rolled in a ball of fur. So much for stereotypes!


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## OhMy (Jul 2, 2007)

Nice thread! 

As of this time, I only have one kitty. My boyfriend wasn't a big fan, but he's warming up to it. 

He's really more of a dog person. I think most men seem to prefer dogs to cats. However, in the case of my boyfriend, that doesn't mean that he will actually take responsibility for the dog, it just means he LIKES her more. :roll: 

I've always heard that cats are for artists and that dogs are for warriors, but I don't know if that has any actual basis in fact.


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## harry (Jan 25, 2006)

Get this, my mother and sister are scared to death of cats, they won't even stay at my house when they come to visit because I have cats, they think that they will attack them while they sleep, my sister thinks that my cats will attack her head!!! I have never laughed so hard in my life. When I was growing up we never had cats, only dogs so they have never been around cats. My mother thinks that a cat will "take a baby's breath away" somehow by getting up in a baby's face and breathing on him.. i don't understand that one


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

harry said:


> My mother thinks that a cat will "take a baby's breath away" somehow by getting up in a baby's face and breathing on him.. i don't understand that one


Actually, Harry, that's a pretty well-known "wives' tale." They think the cat will get up in the baby's face and suck the breath out of him. I KNOW! Ridiculous. :roll:


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

You're right -- that should be your only "baggage"! Anyone you date should be so lucky!

My boyfriend is the one who got me interested in having a cat. I had never had a cat or dog until Rookie in 2005. He was a cat guy his whole life, and I must say, that's an extremely attractive quality in a man. Then again, he's the one who said, "Cats are only a little more work than a house plant." Not quite true. I don't remember my house plant ever peeing on my couch.


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## AddFran (Jul 10, 2004)

October said:


> "Cats are only a little more work than a house plant." Not quite true. I don't remember my house plant ever peeing on my couch.


  Too funny!


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## camel24j (Jan 12, 2007)

my bf hates cats but when i meet him i had 3 cats 2 dogs a bird and 1 spider. 2month into dating him he got me a snake and 3 weeks later he moved in and if i ask him he will clean the litter box but he wont pet or play with them and it has been almost 7yrs. he did do everything he could to try and save Sadie so he has a heart and dont like to see my cats in pain or sick but he still wont pet them. oh well at least he puts up with them oh and i should say he is the one who makes the money so he actually takes care of them he buys the food, pays the vet you name it. hes not perfect but he dose every thing he can to make me happy.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

marie73 said:


> harry said:
> 
> 
> > My mother thinks that a cat will "take a baby's breath away" somehow by getting up in a baby's face and breathing on him.. i don't understand that one
> ...


ACTUALLY...that wives tale has a basis in fact:
Cats like to sleep in/on warm places/people...and what better than a warm little baby, all snuggled up in soft blankets? I'm sure several babies smothered from the weight of a cat or having their mouth/nose covered by a furry cat belly to make this "Old Wives Tale" have a bit of fact to back it up...


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Oh my! 8O


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## OhMy (Jul 2, 2007)

yes? :wink: 

Just teasing.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

:lol: :lol: :lol:


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## Nini (May 6, 2007)

Heidi n Q said:


> marie73 said:
> 
> 
> > harry said:
> ...


Yes, that's what I figured too. Actually in France they are not accused of "stealing the breath" of babies, but of snuggling with them while they sleep, smothering or choking them. It's a little more realistic :lol: 

My mom is deathly afraid of cats too. She can't read them, so she thinks they are "treacherous and sneaky" - she is always afraid that they are going to jump on her and attack her (of course Mom, we feed them only human flesh still walking)... she also cannot tolerate the feeling she gets from trying to pet them: the supple skin against the rib sends shivers down her spine - weird, eh? 8O 

And of course since she is always so scared of them and avoids even looking at them, cats never fail to come greet this polite stranger who does not stare them in the face :lol:


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Nini said:


> And of course since she is always so scared of them and avoids even looking at them, cats never fail to come greet this polite stranger who does not stare them in the face :lol:


Made me LOL! My cats do this with our friend who is allergic and won't look at them. I hand him the squirt bottle to keep them away from him.
The kittes just love him because since he won't look at them, they don't feel intimidated.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

Hey, I have to admit I was afraid of them too, before we got Rookie and got used to being around her every day. When you had parents who did nothing but talk about how awful pets would be, the mess, the noise, the walking, the constant intrusion on your everyday life . . . you just end up kind of uptight about animals. If you don't have the experience, you can't learn to un-do the fear!


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## Scarlett516 (Jun 12, 2007)

I'm afraid of dogs and don't like them anyway, so the fact that DB doesn't like dogs, but loves cats is one of the reasons I love him! I have to have a cat and the only way I could have a dog was if it was kept outside (and yes, I would allow him to build a heated dog house if needed, I'm not cruel!) but I would want nothing to do with the dog. 

DB is great with my cat, she has anxiety issues and she just is so relaxed with him! The only problem is that I think she's now getting to be as attached to him as she is to me!!


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Nini said:


> ..(of course Mom, we feed them only human flesh still walking)...


 :lol: :lol: :lol: 

When the phone guy was at my place a few weeks ago, he kept going in and out and leaving the door open. I kept shutting it behind him and finally he saw that and asked if there was a problem with flies or pests coming in. I said no, but I have two cats that may get *out*. He actually stood there and SNIFFED. Loudly. He said he would have never known I had cats. :roll:


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## zippy96444 (Mar 7, 2006)

rivernuts said:


> I'm a male with 2 cats going on 3 and am curious as to how most woman view men with cats, I use to see guys walking cats and think to myself he must be gay, now I walk my cats all the time and feel others are thinking the same thing. By the way I would have no problem being gay, I'm just not.
> 
> Ken aka the gaymaid


ROFLMAO!


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

I have raised four children, and have never had one of my cats even try to go into the crib. Nor have I ever heard or read of a child being suffocated by a cat. That's speculation. Anything's possible, but surely, _once_ in my life I might have at least heard a rumor to that type of death. I haven't, however.


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## pookie769 (Feb 5, 2005)

marie73 said:


> Seriously, though, I haven't dated for several years. *My* choice. So now it's going to be blamed on my cats? Puhleeeze! Let's put the blame where it belongs. My thighs.


OMGawd Marie, you're KILLIN' me!


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## TrinityQuiet (May 18, 2007)

Every guy I've come close to dating has been insanely jealous of my cats, to the point of even being mean to them! One *@#[email protected]#! even whined, "but your cat hurts me, why can't I hurt it back??". All they do is whine about the cats. 
So...ask around...do the cats drive the guy away? Or do they reveal the stupid, pathetic, worthless, scum of the earth side of the guy and terminate the relationship right there? Maybe when I find a guy who's man enough to accept a cat as an equal, I'll date  Til then, I'll stay single. There's a distinct shortage of good men out there.


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

I haven't dated for a _few_ years, :roll: but my attitude is love me, love my cat. 
If I bring a date over and she doesn't like cats I'll politely remind her that there are no felines on the other side of the door.  
:catrun


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

I made sure my husband was an animal lover before we got engaged. He definitely is! I got two barn kittens as soon as we rented a house, a black one and a white one, and that set a precedent for many years. 

There are people in my family who don't like animals in the house. I told them they didn't have to visit, if that was the case. They kept coming, and I'm glad they did. However, they made their feelings obvious. Too bad; their names are not on the house! So I guess there are people who wouldn't date an animal lover. However, I wouldn't trust them anyway.


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## pookie769 (Feb 5, 2005)

I used to date my veterinarian and guess what :?: , he didn't even_ like _animals, (I am NOT lying)!

Here's his "story": He went to Purdue with the intention of becoming some kind of music major (he played the trumpet). OK, so he got there only to find out there were other students vastly more talented than he (he said some of them could play like Wynton Marselis!). He was a 'farm boy' so automatically you have to suspect that he probably regarded all animals as "stock & revenue producers" or as 'working' animals (which he did). He then decided..........well, veterinary science is a good gig, think I'll try that, and he did. My point in telling this to you is to point out that some people just choose a field as a good vocation and NOT as a _calling_.

One time when he was at my house I came round the corner to see him _pushing_ my Lady off of an end table (not gently either, he acted annoyed).

Just wanted to relay my 'story' & to warn people to not assume _anything_ about other people :wink: .


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Wow. That's not very comforting. But that's also the exact impression I get from Cruella DaVet at my vet's office.  She's never touching any of my kitties again!


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

I don't blame you!


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## Paloma (Apr 3, 2007)

Heidi n Q said:


> marie73 said:
> 
> 
> > harry said:
> ...


slightly OT: Someone one Craigslist wanted to rehome her cat since she was having a baby. I told her I have 3 young children and 3 cats-- it's no problem, they might be best friends like my kids/cats. She wrote back and said she was afraid of the cat smoothering the baby. I sent her a link for a crib tent to prevent this problem. 

I never heard back. Hopefully, she did not rehome. My thing is, if you are going to rehome, be honest. Say you are too lazy, but don't make up excuses that are silly.

Anyway, Marie . . .being female, I can't really tell you, but I know that if someone's house SMELLS, that would be a turn-off (be it one cat or 12), not the # of cats.

I never owned a cat before my husband . . .he had 2 before we met. Now they love me best AND I've added a 3rd! (I'm the one cleaning the litter, feeding them, playing with them, giving them treats . . . :lol: )


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## Paloma (Apr 3, 2007)

Jeanie said:


> I have raised four children, and have never had one of my cats even try to go into the crib. .


 One of my cats goes in the crib EVERY night, several times a night. My last baby is the only one to ever actually sleep in a crib (part of the night), but Mango tries to wake her up every chance he gets.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Well, smell would never be an issue in my house. I'm a little OCD about the litter boxes. I clean them when I get up, when I get home, when I go to bed, and if I notice anything in them in between. But that's mostly because the diva doesn't cover and I don't want Cleo stepping in it, although she must cover Cinderella's because it's only happened once (she got it on her tail - ewwwwwww). 

Ever since I sent around pictures of Chewie and Wicket's two window pictures, people can't wait for me to get them. And the "ear whisper" picture is the background on my computer, so even more people are falling in love with them.


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## melysion (Mar 12, 2007)

You know I'd never even considered that Toby might put men off dating me. But if it did, then he wouldn't be the one for me anyway.

When I was interviewing people to be my new flatmate I always asked them at the end 'Do you like cats and dogs?' (despite the fact I had neither living with me at the time). If they didn't, they weren't even considered.


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## Kobster (Feb 1, 2007)

I see my cats as quality control. If he isn't completely enamored with them, and they with him, he isn't worth my time. Separates the wheat, from the chaff!


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## carolsclan (Jun 28, 2006)

My hubby took me on with three pre teen stepchildren , various strays and rescues and im bipolar :lol: 

When my daughter started dating I would always ask her does he like animals ??? she tought I was nuts but now at 23 she asks the same question.

My hubby wasnt keen on cats tho .... he didnt mind them but preferred dogs .. he sings a different tune now .. he loves them.

I think most men like cats they just have to be beaten into submission :lol:


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

Some men just _think_ they don't like cats. Once a cat has purred and fallen asleep on their laps, they are like putty in its paws!


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## jonsgirl (Nov 7, 2003)

Jeanie said:


> Some men just _think_ they don't like cats. Once a cat has purred and fallen asleep on their laps, they are like putty in its paws!


Very true! Hubby was not a cat lover at all until he laid eyes on Kota when she was a kitten. She is now a daddy's girl that can do no wrong. He gets mad at me if I make fun of her (like when I call her an Ewok  :lol: ).


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## moggiegirl (May 15, 2005)

My boyfriend didn't like cats either before. But thankfully he was openminded and admitted to the fact that my then future cats(now present) cats would make him like them and sure enough they did. Rosie loves my boyfriend and is always meowing at him and Spotty is frequently on his lap. My boyfriend loves my cats as he loves animals in general. He will never call himself "cat lover" as I do but gladly accepts the term "animal lover" and actively participates in helping me care for my cats when it comes to things like nail clipping and pet sitting when I'm away and giving them attention. I am very lucky to have a boyfriend like this. Truly these stereotypes must be ignored. When it comes right down to it anyone who is an animal lover is not going to dislike your cats and why would we want to be with anyone who is not an animal lover?

And as for the old spinster theory, well I doubt anyone of us no matter how much we love our cats is crazy enough not to go out and have a life just because our cats would like us to stay home 24/7. It's not like we don't like people and places and other things in addition to cats. Same thing with dogs and other animals so all these stereotypes people make up are about as stupid as the black cats are bad luck and cats still babys breath nonsense. 

Yes, cat lovers are just as marketable in the world of dating and non-cat lovers. It's where to meet the right people and who to meet. I'm lucky I met the right person but if I had not met him I may have volunteered at an animal shlter and then who knows. There is always someone out there who shares your common interests.


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## Paloma (Apr 3, 2007)

Look at this sad post. 

http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/pet/394138942.html

The cat is 12 years old is getting the boot-- new wife! :evil:


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## AddFran (Jul 10, 2004)

Oh my god!! She's gorgeous and that is horrifying. THAT's the kitty you need to save.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Paloma said:


> The cat is 12 years old is getting the boot-- new wife! :evil:


Did you email about her? How do you know! That's sooooooo wrong!


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## Nini (May 6, 2007)

marie73 said:


> Paloma said:
> 
> 
> > The cat is 12 years old is getting the boot-- new wife! :evil:
> ...


" Hey I need to give away my 12 year old son, my new wife does not like him, she wants one of her own..."

HOW STUPID CAN PEOPLE GET?! :x


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

He has been on the receiving end of that cat's love for 12 years. This is absolutelly awful. He must be marrying a very uncaring woman. Love me; love my cat! I don't understand how he can give her up.


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## Paloma (Apr 3, 2007)

AddFran said:


> Oh my god!! She's gorgeous and that is horrifying. THAT's the kitty you need to save.


 I know. Poor girl!


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