# My feral tries to gently bite me, why?



## howsefrau32

A feral that I have been caring for now for over a year, she has become very sweet, and trusting of me. She would come near no human before I began working with her a year ago, and now she will even rub against my husbands leg, and my daughter, but is clear she does not want them petting her. But she won't run off when they walk in or out the door, so she has come a LONG way. 

So anyway, I can now pet her, scratch her chin, I don't pick her up but I have gently "nudged" her around and she is ok with that. At times, I will be petting her and she is purring away, rubbing against my shoe like she loves to do, and she will either gently swipe at me with her paw, and on a few occasions, today being one, she will try to bite my leg. Never a hard bite, NEVER tries to break the skin, I will usually just end up with saliva on my leg though and I go in and wash it off. Any guess as to why she does this?

I have a couple of ideas, but I'm wondering what someone who is more of an expert with ferals thinks. One, I think maybe she is just too stimulated...LOL, because it's usually after I've been petting her a while and she is all purring loudly and super lovable, and then the gentle bite. Or my second thought was just that, she is a feral, she has come a long way, and she's sort of like a lion who can't fully be tamed and is unpredictable? And I respect that, that she is not like my indoor spoiled babies and that I can't expect her to have the same behavior that they do. 

When she does this, I will give her a firm NO.....the first time I did it, I scared the crap out of her and she jumped about six feet away from me in a single leap, and I felt so bad, but since she has learned that if she tries to lift a paw at me, I say "uh-uh" and she stops. When she does this, I usually leave right away and go in, to kind of let her know that if she does this, I won't stay out with her. Not sure if that is the right thing to do either. 

Just wondered if someone might have an idea of why she would be doing this. She has NEVER sunk her teeth into me or aggressively made any moves at me, just to be clear. Sometimes I just look at her, and I love her so much, my little Arwen, and I wish so much I could pick her up and hug her like my indoor kitties, but this is a different animal, and I don't see that happening, unfortunately. 

Thank you for reading this!


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## fanwoodguy

Lexi, my 9 yo (we think) former feral uses her mouth all the time on me. We took her in at about 1 year old. She warmed up to everyone slowly. She has several habits that are required as part of her daily routine. Every day she sits on the tiolet to watch the morning routine and receive her morning pet. If the bathroom door is locked or closed she will throw her body at it until it is opened. Every day she has to wash my hand. If you pull your hand before she is finisned, she pulls it back with opened claws. Every day there will be one time when she will gently chew that same hand. The skin is never broken but the routine is an essential part of her day.


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## MowMow

MowMow does this *ALL* the time and I've never been able to break him of it. The minute he goes to his happy zone (purring, drooling, and cuddling) while i pet him... he always bites at me. Hands, face, arms, legs, or anywhere else he can reach. 

I don't think it has any thing to do with her being feral... MOw is the LEAST feral cat in the universe....

It's some weird affection biting thing... I hate it.


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## howsefrau32

Thank you both. Fanwoodguy, I think that Arwen is pretty set on her routine and does not like any changes to it. She is not inside, but she tends to do the same things every day. Thanks again for the input.


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## Marlindh

Ragnar does the same thing when you are petting him . He will just wrap his paws around your hand and bite not hard and take off running . But he's so fast at biting that you don't expect it while you are petting him . In the beginning he would just sit there and keep biting you but since I say no loudly he has learned that I mean business and he takes off like a rocket . Kind of annoying at times because he scared the **** out of me at times . 


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## Marlindh

Oh and he's not a feral he was found outside at one month old and lived in a shelter for 6 months untill we took him in 


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## librarychick

There's a very important distinction here between over-stimulation and affection.

Over-stimulation bites
Before the 'bite' you might be petting, ruffling fur, scratching the cat, ext. Watch their face if possible, because their eyes will dilate and their ears will go back (airplane ears). Their back might also ripple, and they'll stop purring and tthey'll reach out and chomp.
How hard depends on how strong their bite inhibition is, and how over stimulated they are. In general they will be lashing their tails and look agitated to some extent.

Love/affection bites
The cat is floppy and relaxed, their tail is up high and in its 'happy/welcoming' position. They will usually purr throughout. They will slowly reach out their head, may blink their eyes and will very gently place their teeth against your skin. They may gently apply a bit of pressure, enough to pull your skin a bit. They'll usually drool a lot.

These are very different behaviors, but they get mixed up a lot because both happen during petting. The difference is the body language; an over stimulated cat is tense, an affectionate cat is relaxed and floppy.

Personally I allow love bites, and I accept bites when I've over stimulated one of them as a warning. Tgeres a huge difference between allowing/encouraging and accepting though. You need to be comfortable reading your cats body language and trusting them.

If you aren't sure which you've got search 'cats grooming' or something like that on YouTube. Cats who are comfortable with each other often give love bites as a sign of affection during grooming.


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## Marlindh

Yeah the problem is my trouble maker is relaxed eyes do not dialate and tail is relax and ears are fine also he's purring and just out of no where baam jumps and bites you an takes off . Really weird not sure Im guessing he's still too young only 7 months old and doesn't know the difference maybe 


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## Carmel

She honestly sounds like a pretty tame kitty to me, or one that wouldn't take much to be able to move indoors. I think you'd be able to pick her up if you worked at it; try by sitting on the ground with your legs stretched out and when she seems relaxed beside you, move her on to you lap. The first few times, or maybe even for the first few months, she might not like it and will jump right off. I'd wear gloves just in case she does try and bite... but she'd likely get used to it. 

Cats giving soft bites are an affection thing, but if you aren't comfortable with it just tell her no and leave and she'll learn pretty soon.

That's what I did with Jasper. Any hint of biting, I'd say "no!" and turn around and leave. Jasper went from very hard biting (scar inducing) and flying and attacking my legs cat that was also_ extremely_ food aggressive to a cat that just likes to roll around and play fetch. He still likes food, but no one is going to lose any body parts over it. The only thing he bites now is the dog... playfully. At first with the dog he would entirely fluff up. They seem to have some stalking games worked out now, right down to the takedown wrestling.

Blacky went from a cat that took me a year to pet, a few months get ok with sitting on my lap, and a few more months to feel ok in a house to a cat that sleeps on top of me on my bed every night... she gave me a few bites at first too, never as hard as Jasper, but it was a trust thing.


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## librarychick

Marlindh, your boy is just a baby still. His version doesn't fit either of those behaviors because he's playing a game, a naughty one. Use wand toys and laser pointers to drain his energy, and do your best not to react at all when he does pounce you; he's looking for a reaction, so if he doesn't get one its no fun. Make a point of starting games with him when he's being good, and never use your hands or feet to wrestle with him. Stuffed animals are great wrestle toys because you can hold the back while he kicks and chimps the front, and you won't get hurt.

Op, Carmel's got it right but I'd just ignore her for a minute or so. Jasper was a bit of an extreme case, since he had no bite inhibition and was happily chomping away and breaking Carmel's skin; your girl is older and has more self control. You shouldn't need to leave her entirely for her to het the message, but try to channel your inner teenage girl  huff, cross your arms and look pointedly away from her for a minute or so. After that go back to interacting, but watch her body language closer so you learn her signals.

Carmel I'm so glad Jasper has come so far! It's a ton of work to work with a kitty like him, but its always so worth it, IMO.


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## Marcia

Marlindh said:


> Ragnar does the same thing when you are petting him . He will just wrap his paws around your hand and bite not hard and take off running . But he's so fast at biting that you don't expect it while you are petting him . In the beginning he would just sit there and keep biting you but since *I say no loudly he has learned that I mean business and he takes off like a rocket . Kind of annoying at times because he scared the **** out of me at times .*
> 
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


Yep, same with Lacey - our new girl. REALLY unnerves me because I was bit and ended up in a hospital for a week with an awful infection (not by her). She just wants to do what and when SHE wants to do. If she jumps up for a lap sit and you try and push her down she will bite. If you try and move her to a different position she will bite. Really annoying. She has not bit me in weeks but lashed out at hubby last night when he wanted to use his laptop and she didn't want to move off his lap. He is the LAST one she wants to nip around here, but she was too fast getting away! :smile:


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## Marlindh

Marcia what do you do when your kitty does that. I honestly get so mad sometimes that I almost want to go chasing after him lol but I don't . Ugh makes me so angry sometimes my hands are full of scars 


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## marie73

librarychick said:


> Op, Carmel's got it right but I'd just ignore her for a minute or so.


Poor Carmel.


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## MowMow

Housefrau, is this the same thing that your cat does? Bite and attack and leave scars like Marlindh's cat?

I was thinking it's the way MowMOw bites. He just takes skin between his teeth and bites down gently while he purrs and drools.... I thought that was more what you were speaking of.


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## librarychick

marie73 said:


> Poor Carmel.


Ack! That's not what I meant! Lol, I meant ignore the KITTY for a few minutes; not ignore Carmel!


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## howsefrau32

MowMow said:


> Housefrau, is this the same thing that your cat does? Bite and attack and leave scars like Marlindh's cat?
> 
> I was thinking it's the way MowMOw bites. He just takes skin between his teeth and bites down gently while he purrs and drools.... I thought that was more what you were speaking of.


Yes, this is exactly what she does. It's more of the casual, relaxed, drooly thing, never a warning with ears back and eyes dilated, never. It always catches me off guard, in fact, no warning at all. 

And I kind of do just what one of you said, the sort of slight stand off, where I cross my arms and turn away from her, and she gets it. 

I have actually tried sitting on the ground with her, and she looks sort of confused like she is asking me "why are you sitting down here", and she won't climb on my lap. I even held some food in my lap yesterday to see if she would climb on my lap and she just put her paws up on me and at the food, but when I moved it to where she would have to climb on my lap, she wouldn't. 

This girl has definitely been intruiging, she keeps me on my toes, but I love her, and hope we can keep moving forward.


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## Carmel

:lol: I know you didn't mean it that way Becky. Jasper has come a long way in 6 months, and I really appreciate all the help you gave when he was a wild thing.

This was him and Coco yesterday... he's nibbling on her fur:











howsefrau32 said:


> I have actually tried sitting on the ground with her, and she looks sort of confused like she is asking me "why are you sitting down here", and she won't climb on my lap. I even held some food in my lap yesterday to see if she would climb on my lap and she just put her paws up on me and at the food, but when I moved it to where she would have to climb on my lap, she wouldn't.


At first a feral cat is never just going to climb on to your lap, often it takes you initiating it for the cat to get used to it being something that's ok and viewed as positive experience. When you pick her up and place her on your lap, even if she doesn't care for it, you are briefly handling her and also trying to get her used to your lap as the same time. Perseverance usually wins out!

Once she's used to you picking her up like that you can maybe sit in a chair or something and she might just jump on your lap. If not, repeat the procedure while on a chair. When she gets used to it, try cradling her against your chest the way you might hold a cat, but not standing up. When she feels safe with that, move on to actually holding her.  Don't start out with holding as walking if she isn't comfortable with it, but all baby steps are important!


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## Justteri1000

Max gets really insistent about waking me up in the morning. He will very softly paw my arm, and then my face, and then if that doesn't work, he will very gently bite my nose (we like to say that he has a sense of humor).

He doesn't bite my husbands nose, instead he puts his closed mouth right against my husbands closed eyelid and then purrs very loud.

That cat definitely knows what he's doing.


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## kitty2023

i have a feral cat i adopted a week ago. she finally came up to me and sat by me, then she nipped my calf. i wasnt shocked, but told her no, and ignored all other behavior, she sleeps on my bed at the end.


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