# Sisters suddenly fighting



## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

Hi guys,

It's another of those "why do my cats suddenly hate each other" threads. Here's the situation.

We have two domestic short hair cats, age 2.5 years. They've been with us since they were 7 months. They are littermates adopted from a no kill shelter. They have always been the best of friends. They sleep together, eat together, even use each other's litterboxes. They groom each other, play together, hunt together, everything as perfect and peaceful as you can imagine.

Now that it is spring time again we've opened up the patio room for them to enjoy. This is a room they normal go into and are only locked out of when it is too cold to leave the door open in the winter. They have a cat tree out there and floor-to-ceiling views of the garden outside.

For the last couple weeks this has been their favorite place. One prefers sleeping on the cat tree and the other has a favorite spot on a chair. They wanted to be out there all the time. Only came in for food, water, the litter box and the occasional human grooming time.

Well last night after dinner (we feed them a can of wet food at night, which they eat side by side in the kitchen even sharing each other's bowls) they went back to the patio room. Two hours later, right in the middle of my 9pm TV show, I suddenly hear a fight break out.

This was a growling, hissing, wrestling, fur flying fight. Tails fluffed, backs arched, full fledged cat fight. Usually when they'd get a little too aggressive with the play wrestling I'd interrupt them and they'd back off. This time neither would pay the least bit of attention. They just wanted to kill each other.

Cricket (the smaller more timid one) had Bella (the fluffier more lap kitty) backed into a corner when I arrived. I thought perhaps it was misplaced aggression. Cricket saw something outside and got defensive then Bella surprised her. So we separated them for the night. Cricket got a time out in the laundry room. 

This morning we opened the door again. Cricket and Bella individually are reacting fine to us. We can pick them up, pet them and they purr. But after a half hour of sniffing and licking each other, they suddenly decided to fight again.

Another growling/hissing, fur flying fight. Except this time it was Bella who was being the aggressor. There was no point doing a reintroduction since their smells are all over the house. They have always shared the place equally.

When I last left it, Cricket started the submissive behaviors (rolling over, licking her tail, looking away, backing away from Bella) while Bella was in her crouched/ready to pounce mode. She doesn't attack, just keeps a close eye on Cricket as if she's ready to defend herself. It's a Mexican standoff.

I don't know what to do. Separating them is not working. Distracting them with noise or water just makes Cricket more defensive aggressive. I have no clue what started this. I wasn't watching but it didn't sound like they were playing. There were no other animals or scents in the house. Nothing they seemed to be fighting over.

Only thing I can reason is that Cricket started a fight and won, but Bella is trying to reassert her dominance. She is dominant solely because she is less afraid. Cricket is always the one to give up and back away first.

Any ideas? Their claws are trimmed. They didn't appear to bite one another. They sound horrible but the wrestling is where the fur comes from. Both are shedding their winter coats. (Yes, we've been brushing them. Took off 4 brushfulls last night from Bella.)


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

It sounds more like misdirected or redirected aggression. Maybe they saw another cat and it upset them, but since they couldn't do anything about it, they turned on each other, or just one turned on the other. Here's an article about this problem:

Redirected Aggression: A Case Study | Little Big Cat


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

I agree with _Marie_'s suggestion. It sounds like redirected aggression. While you were watching TV possibly another cat came up to the patio room. It could have been another female in heat, or possibly a male and he sprayed. The scents of other cats or other animals can drift thro our houses as the windows and doors are rarely air tight. This could have upset one, or both. I'm assuming you have them both spayed? If not, then they should be ASAP. Try giving them treats when they are near each other and behaving well. Also it may help if you play with them together with a fishing-pole type of toy like "Da Bird", going from one to the other. You want to try and orient their minds that good things happen when they're together. If they fight, separate them for a time-out (15 min. max). Or you can be the "boss cat" and whoever is the aggressor, go after her with stomping feet, and say a stern "Bad girl!". Most cats don't like this and will run off rather than attack. You want the aggressor to know that you don't approve of this behavior and will not tolerate it. When they are being good praise them and give them lots of loving....this is important. Good luck! hope you can get them turned around back to being good friends again.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

I thought it was misdirected aggression too, but it is going on too long. The patio is 8 feet off the ground. No signs of another cat around though it's possible a stray could have gotten up on the surrounding deck without my knowing.

We've had a mole hermit under the patio before. That kept them interested for a long while last summer. But any other time an animal outside caught their attention they always focused on it, not each other. Last night it was raining so the patio doors and windows were closed. I highly doubt we had an intruder spraying. Strays usually make themselves known. Yes, both our cats are spayed. Have been since they were 4 months old. Like I said, they have been constant companions for the last 2.5 years. They are littermates. They sleep together and eat together. They play chase through the house and mock fight at 3am. The patio room is a favorite hang out. I find it hard to believe a stray could suddenly turn them into enemies that quickly. They know each other's scent and sight well. They don't even freak out when one goes to the vet.

Tried the treat and positive reinforcement angle. Problem is as soon as they see each other they get aggressive.

There's a shared window from the patio to laundry room. When we had them in time out from each other, they found the window and started staring each other down.

I hope I didn't make a bad situation worse by separating them last night. It was odd they spent it sleeping on either side of the same door. Bella looked so forlorn last night. Like she was waiting for her sister to return.

My hunch is that Cricket got in her defensive mode and over reacted. But she took it out on Bella and now Bella's trying to reestablish their boundaries. Like Bella doesn't trust Cricket not to go psychokitty on her.

When I go after the aggressor (just walk between their growling match and make one move), I get all the hissing and growling. Neither attacks me. They just seem to be warning me to stay out of their fight.

When do you let them work it out and when do you intervene? I can't be home all day to separate them. They have to share the same house. There aren't that many places to isolate them. Baby gates are out of the question. I'm disabled and can't handle the obstacle in my house.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

Yes, both cats are spayed. They have been since they were 4 months old. They are constant companions. I thought it was misplaced aggression too, but it is going on too long. These girls know each others scents and sight. They've had stray animals walk outside in the garden. (The patio is 8 feet off the ground.) There was no sign of another animal last night and it was raining all night. The doors and windows were closed.

I just can't fathom how they could be so close for so long, even eating dinner side by side just 2 hours before, and suddenly a stray turns them into enemies. I can understand misdirected aggression creating an incident for a night, but to continue into the next day?

I've done the chase the aggressor thing, the time out thing, and the positive reinforcement thing. Nothing seems to work. Only thing that made a difference was when I let them continue in their stare down. Then they growled and hissed until Cricket started acting submissive. Then Bella went from pounce position to cautious watching. It's like they are re-establishing their boundaries.


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## BotanyBlack (Apr 6, 2011)

This may be an odd thing to ask. but have they been to the vet recently? If so pull their records. If not you may want to make an appointment for a checkup. I have seen the dynamics thrown off because one was ill with something not detected by people.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

BotanyBlack said:


> This may be an odd thing to ask. but have they been to the vet recently? If so pull their records. If not you may want to make an appointment for a checkup. I have seen the dynamics thrown off because one was ill with something not detected by people.


They went to the vet in April for their annual checkup. Both got a clean bill of health.

I did notice Bella sneezed a couple times yesterday. Her eyes and nose are clear though. She hasn't sneezed today.

We left them at home today for a few hours. When we returned they were in the same Mexican Standoff position: watching and growling.

I've chased each off their perch when they growled. Individually they have let us pet and cuddle them. But as soon as they see each other, the aggressiveness picks up.

It seems like Cricket reacts first with a fear response and Bella does the stalking. They can't seem to get out of their mode. I'm at the point when I think I need to start drugging them. Maybe Cricket has gotten into a fear mode and that's the problem. She's prone to nervous/skittishness. Even when petting her she'll jump at any loud noise or unexpected thing.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

Dinner didn't go so well. For the first time in the last 2 years only Bella came to eat. Cricket was too busy taking up her defensive posture in the patio room.

We just closed off part of the house to separate them. Bella was staking out the egress to the Laundry Room where Cricket has her food and litter box. So we're giving them a time out so each can eat, poop and regroup.

Trouble is they haven't gotten the message. They spent the first 5 minutes trying to get through the door (they are closet-style partition doors) to hiss at each other. Gave a sharp "Bad Kitty" and chased each away from the door.

They aren't chasing each other around the house or engaging physically. They are just stalking and hissing/growling.

I am so frustrated. What happened to my beloved kitties? They've gone psycho.

They have to sleep some time.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

I would continue what you're doing. If the fur isn't flying in a vicious fight, it could well be that they're testing and re-establishing boundaries. At 2.5 yrs, this would be consistent with cat's establishing a territory. I would do some interactive play with them together.....make your own wand toy by tying some feathers on the end of a long stick, and flicking it around giving them turns. Whatever it was that happened, it is often _one incident_ that will change two cat's relationship. That happened with me with a half brother, half sister pair who were great friends and snuggle buddies until the female had a litter of kittens. She attacked her buddy one time when he got too close to the kittens, and after that one incident he had a hate-on for her, and would attack her every chance he got. They never were friends again....he was a bully and she became very afraid of him. I couldn't even pet her in his presence or he would attack her out of jealousy. They lived mostly separate lives and after he died at 15 yrs., she was the happiest cat and became much more friendly and outgoing to the other cats and myself. So yes, a single incident can change a whole relationship. Sorry it's happened to you, but it is possible it's repairable, or at least may get to the point that they tolerate each other. Didn't happen with my pair, but doesn't mean it can't happen with yours. Good luck!


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

Oh I hope it isn't as bad as that. I can understand a male and female fighting, especially when it's a mother protector her young. But two spayed sisters?

We opened the doors after dinner and got more of the growling/hissing match. Tried to engage both in a laser light game. It distracts them and they'll give chase, but then they see each other and the staring contest resumes. Same thing happens with all toys. They're interested until they see each other.

We're switching their time out rooms now. Bella has the Laundry Room and Cricket has the run of the house. See how well that goes. They can see each other through the window.

It really looks like Cricket is in defensive mode and Bella's being the aggressor. I think the next step is to try Feliway or some tranquilizer. Cricket just refuses to calm down.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

Day 3: Bella had a time out last night. We put her in the Laundry Room for the night. That was where we kept Cricket the night before. Did that because she kept stalking Cricket in the Patio Room and was being the aggressor all day. Plus this way she was forced to swap scents with her sister.

We usually keep their cat boxes in the Laundry Room so it is a known place. During the "war", we moved a box to the 1st floor bathroom. There is dry food and water in both rooms. Bella's wet dinner was moved there as well. Thought it best we give Cricket a break from being hunted for the night. I worried she wasn't using the litter box for fear of her sister.

No active wrestling matches/fights last night but lots of stalking, hissing/growling/yowling. Cricket spent the night upstairs in her regular comfort zone... i.e. sleeping with my dad on his bed. It calmed her down this morning.

Opened the door and the two continued their stalking match, but did walk away. Both are competing for my dad's attention. They come over wanting to be petted. He gives them equal time. If they go after each other, they get a sharp "No! bad kitty!" and get chased away from each other. Staring is allowed, it's the hissing/growling we stop.

I picked up the Feliway infuser and plugged that in. Also got a couple of catnip-filled toys. Both are going to town on that.

My hope is to drug them happy then get them to play with each other. I have some wand toys to entice them. Also playing classical music in the background in hopes that provides auditory stimulation. It creates a relaxing mood in the house for all (humans and cats).

I'm going with the assumption this is misdirected aggression. If Cricket went after Bella on the first night then warfare broke out, then perhaps that incident is the problem. They haven't forgotten/forgiven it and can't figure out how to be friends again.

They did stop the all out warfare today on their own. I'll be home today so I can play "Top Cat" and halt any fights before they break out. My plan is just give them a day to play with their toys and reach out to each for petting/comforting. I hope to get them to play with me later tonight.

We'll see how dinner goes.

The whole episode is very strange. These girls NEVER fought with each other. They were always the best of friends, closer than any two cats I've ever seen. Even the vet was amazed. And there was nothing leading up to the fight. No jealousy, no new scenarios, no intruders in the household. They were calmly eating beside each other one minute then at each other's throats the next. I hope I can get them to settle down and get out of their fear response.

I'm supposing that misplaced aggression is a purely animal instinct/fear response. If so then I have to treat it like a mental illness. Get them over their response and back to normalcy.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

I spoke too soon. Cricket came downstairs to play. Bella wanted to play too, but as soon as they saw each other on the stairs fireworks broke out. Bella the aggressor got her puffed up tail and Cricket hissed back. 

Back to the Laundry Room time out for Bella. See how she likes isolation for an hour.

Stupid animals. Don't you just want to shake them sometimes?


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Another thing you might try is having more vertical places for them to go. Do you have a cat tree, window shelves, wall shelves, boxes/stools to sit on to look out windows? Sometimes they need to be up higher to see the other cat or have an alternate place to go so they're not harassed and can claim as their own. Set up some boxes or stools in front of windows or move furniture to see if that doesn't make a difference before investing in expensive cat trees. Worth a try I think. Even moving the furniture around and putting out empty boxes can give them something else to do and think about. Sometimes cats fight just out of boredom. Give them some different play "toys".....make some foil/paper balls, plastic pull tabs off frozen juice cans, twist up some long bag ties.....sometimes the simplest toys are the best.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

Thanks for the ideas.

They have plenty of vertical places. Our windows are open to the screens which means they have a multitude of perches on both floors. My room becomes a favorite place during the day because it has two views. Then there are the bathrooms with a backyard view. Views of the front yard and beyond. We give them full movement of the house so they have lots of options for space. And in the patio room we had a two perch cat tree. I invested in that when they were kittens. They always shared it before either at the same time or separately.

The issue we have is that they just can't seem to see each other as friends. They are either wary or start hissing/growling as soon as they see each other. They walk around the house as if they are on the hunt. Anything that is a source of competition is the reason for a fight. I'm trying to make it clear that fighting is not allowed. Punishment is banishment. Warning is a sharp, loud putdown.

This afternoon, I have the house cordoned off with a partition door. One cat on each side. Even though it is nap time and each should be enjoying their corners to nap, I still caught them on either side of the door hissing at each other. I roared at them both to knock it off and they both ran away to their separate corners. Bella came back 15 minutes later and started yowling for her sister. One of those challenge meows. I told her to stop and she walked away. I think they are off sleeping now.


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## Julz (Feb 17, 2011)

I don't have any experience so I could be way off base but perhaps if you gave them a vacation away from one another, they would forget their animosity and remember that they were friends? Maybe a weekend at a pet boarding facility or a family member's home for one of them?
I use an air duster can as discipline for my boys which works relatively well. It sounds like hissing. Maybe you could use that when they are hissy and growly so your the dominant cat with a negative sound in their language. Just don't use it for extended blasts as the air tends to get cold.
Just a couple ideas.


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## RachandNito (Nov 21, 2008)

I have three girl cats, and it seems like around this age they all have had a chip on their shoulders. My house is generally peacefully but every once in a while someone picks a fight and these fights are loud, fur does fly sometimes (shedding season), and someone always winds up running off. Winry is usually the instigator. But at the end of it all, they go back to getting along.

I really think they must have seen another cat outside and it just left a big impact on them. I like Julz's idea though.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

They spent the afternoon in a divided house. Eventually I just walked out and left the house open. No preamble, just open the door and tell them to behave. They didn't fight but did growl/hiss at each other.

Tonight they each wanted our attention for cuddling. They seem to be more interested in us humans now that they aren't getting along.

I'm gonna try leaving the house open tonight and see how they do. I dunno. Maybe an incident of misdirected aggression has led to a power match. They know each other is around and they seem to know who they are. They just want to disagree. One jumps on a perch, the other growls. Trying to play wand toys with them seems to instigate a fight. They both want to play and are attracted to the sound. Laser light does take the focus off each other though.

I'm getting less worried they'll kill each other. But they sure do seem to be working something out.


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## cinderflower (Apr 22, 2012)

they'll probably work it out themselves. i don't worry if my cats scuffle as long as no blood is drawn.

but just earlier (for the first time EVER) a *giant* fight broke out. it was wKF smackdown.

diotima is 15, and she is the most chill cat anywhere. (wouldn't you be if you were 90-something?) baci has always done this weird thing where he grabs the back of her neck like he's going to mount her, but then he has absolutely no idea what to do so he throws her to the floor and runs off.

houdini is the child, and most of the time, he torments baci. i've seen what he does and it's so dumb, i hope he grows out of it. everybody's quiet, grooming each other, and he just hauls off and takes a swat. then when he gets a swat back, he starts hissing and posing and acting all stupid. as a rule, diotima is like, "get away from me kid, you bother me," and it's over. 

but tonight, she went medieval on their butts. i've never seen her do it before, and she's very small. first she got houdini and he was all :shock: and he beat a path. then for some weird reason, baci went up to her, and did the throw down move, and she lost it. first she let out this long ugly yowl, like cats do when they fight in the alley. then she just tore into him and WON. he was double 8O. there were clumps of hair and fingernails all over the floor. i wasn't a good mom, i started laughing. both boys ran away, and she just sat by the bed with her hair messed up, switching her tail. i called her and said, "what's wrong?" and she just glared at me and went under the bed. lol

maybe it's just something she does intermittently to keep them in line, or when she's had enough, and i just haven't been home to see it but it was pretty funny.


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

I had a case of misdirected aggression between Maggie and Kobi about 6 years ago over a neighbor's cat in the yard. They fought so bad that they both ended up with abscesses. It took a complete separation for a month and another 3 months of gradual reintroduction before they could be in the same room and not hiss or growl at each other. 

Your situation sounds like it's very likely misdirected aggression. It doesn't sound as bad as what happened in my house. It seems like they are starting to repair the relationship, but the one that was attacked may never fully trust the other again. I know Maggie is very wary of Kobi to this day, especially because he's so much bigger than her (literally twice her size).

The thing you need to figure out is what triggered it. If there is a stray or neighbor's cat on the loose and you don't figure out how to keep it out of your yard this will just continue to happen and will get progressively worse.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

We kept the house open last night just to see what happened. No all out warfare but there were a few hissing/growling matches. Cricket is the instigator. A soon as she sees Bella coming along and threatening her territory (i.e. Wanting to be on her window sill) she growls and houses. Bella goes into defensive mode and glares back. After a few of these episodes (with us at first telling at them to stop) Bella has learned to walk away from Cricket. 

It is like Cricket is telling Bella she didn't want her to come near her. And Bella can't figure out why. In the past they would play fight all the tome. Cricket just refuses to play with her.

No sign of any cats outside. We live in the country so there are several access of land around the house. No easy way to keep animals out. No status have been sighted around the neighborhood though. We rehomed the strays a long time ago. Lots of deer, birds, and squirrels though. The girls are used to it. We did close off the patio room st night however. That way we reduce exposure and keep them from competing over the room.

Today both insist on being upstairs where I am. They are going from window to window. Bella is.sneaking around corners because she's not she where Cricket has gotten on her high horse.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

I hope Cricket gets over her snit soon. So far she has gotten very feely touchy with us. She misses her sisters affection but doesn't want it. Poor Bella keeps looking for her but gets rebuffed. 

My theory now is that there was assn episode on Monday that caused Cricket to go psycho. After the open warfare broke out she can't seem to get over it. She gets immediately defensive.

Was fun when I came up to the bathroom lady night and found them arguing over who got to sit in the window sill by me. Bella ran off but Cricket refused to leave. Even for me. For a moment I feared she'd go psycho on me. But I just flipped on the light and told her I was coming in.

I'd it possible Cricket is going through a mood? She's fixed so I didn't think female cats had cycles after bring spayed. But she's acting very fractious. Wants to be stroked by us, way of attack, and very prickly about her sister getting to close.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

Might be some progress today. The sisters hissed/growled a bit when they saw each other then walked away. Cricket has discovered the windows in the bedroom upstairs are her new favorite place. Bella has discovered playing with a quiet wand toy is fun because she can play without her sister knowing and going psycho on her.

Now Bella is on the cat tree snoozing. Cricket just came downstairs to look around. Went into the patio room and saw her sister but no hissing/growling. She just walked back out and found another spot to snooze in the Living Room. Stopped off in the kitchen first to see if there was any food left over first.

Maybe the war is ending. Will be nice to have a peaceful home again. They have gone from being "angry cat" every time they saw each other to only when one wants to be left alone.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Sounds like the war is over as you say.....hope they continue on either ignoring or tolerating each other. Yes, nothing like a peaceful home; cat fights can be so stressful for cats and owners alike!


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

I'm beginning to laugh at their ridiculousness. They spent the afternoon together in the patio room. Bella on the cat tree in her usual lounging spot and Cricket by the door in a nice patch of sun. Both as peaceful as can be.

When my dad got home, Bella greeted him at the door. But then Cricket goes right back to her growling/hissing.

We're feeding them dinner together in the same spot as always. They each came back to that spot looking for food throughout the night. They won't eat together but will turn their backs on each other to eat.

I even managed to play with both in the same room. Not together mind you, but in eye contact with each other.

Then I just found them having a stand off in the laundry room. One hiding under the dryer growling at the other as she walks by. They are equal opportunity players in this spat. Bella did the dryer stalking/growling.

I'll be happy when they go back to being friends again. Right now they are tolerating each other and sharing resources. Hope they patch things up though. They need each other. They spent too many years being best buds to treat each other like strangers.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

Another day more hissing.

They are clearly not friends anymore, but they are keeping to separate corners of the house. Cricket upstairs in the window sills and Bella downstairs in the patio room.

The hissing started as soon as dad came home (their boyfriend) and both wanted to greet him. Instead of getting time with him they got a firm shout to cut it out.

Dinner was served in the kitchen. Separate bowls by several feet apart. Bella went right to her bowl without issue. Cricket tentatively came to her bowl. All seemed fine until Bella finished and couldn't resist investigating Cricket's. Then the hissing started. No fight because he shouted at both.

Now their bowls sit waiting for them and each has gone to their separate corners. I guess this is a "If I can't eat, neither will you" stage.

I don't see this as misplaced aggression anymore. They aren't hunting each other. They just don't want to be friends.

They're like my nieces when they have a tiff. Brats. If only they'd get over their pique they'd be able to enjoy so much.


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

This is exactly what happens with misdirected aggression. They have lost their trust with each other and view each other as a stranger. If it's not improving, or even possibly escalating, you will need to completely separate them for a couple weeks and go through a very slow, formal re-introduction process.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

doodlebug said:


> This is exactly what happens with misdirected aggression. They have lost their trust with each other and view each other as a stranger. If it's not improving, or even possibly escalating, you will need to completely separate them for a couple weeks and go through a very slow, formal re-introduction process.


I'll keep it in mind.

Hard to tell right now. They aren't openly fighting anymore. They had 2 wrestling matches the first 2 days, but now they just warn each other to stay away. It's also difficult to tell who's instigating the fight. Most of the time it seems like Cricket (the submissive one) who starts the hissing, but then we'll catch Bella stalking her or playing the dominance game. Then they'll have a day like yesterday where they'll nap in the same room and be content.

They do seem to act up more when my dad is around. I wonder if they are competing over him.

It seems the longer they stay apart the less they get along. Today they each spent the day on different floors of the house. As soon as they saw each other the hissing/growling began. Yesterday they were on the same floor and slept peacefully next to each other. They even played and ate in the same room.

It makes me reluctant to separate them long term. Cricket's personality is very timid and defensive. It doesn't take much for her to hiss and growl. She is threatened by almost everything. Bella is so confident and friendly she can't help but dominate the room. So Cricket will act shy which makes Bella become a bully and the fighting begins. I'm actually wondering if I need to treat Cricket's nervousness first.


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## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

My aunt had two cats that got along great for about two years, then suddenly started hating each other. One ended up temporarily on some drugs and that seemed to calm things down after weeks of fighting. They went on to live for 16-17 years as the best of friends. Hopefully things will settle down for your girls soon, if not I'd look into drugs as one of the options in smoothing things out.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Do they "come" on command? Teach them individually to do this if they don't already do by saying their name and "come". Then give them a yummy treat they really like....a tiny bit of cheese, or cat treat. When they're doing this well, then start asking them to come together. Hopefully they will be so focused on getting a treat that they will forget about hissing/growling at each other. Feed them treats if they are paying attention to you, and give them lots of praise "good girls!". Move away, and call them again, and give treats if they're good. If they start to hiss/growl, walk away and ignore them. If they come 2-3 times and behave well, then give them treats and each a catnip toy and tell them to "go play". Throw the toys so they go in opposite directions. The point of this exercise is you want them to get over this hissing/growling habit and look forward to come together as they know they'll get treats/toys. They've made improvement, but you may be able to get them to be more friendly than just tolerant. It's important to give them lots of loving _individually_ away from the other initially as they seem to be craving it, when they get more comfortable you can give them equal loving. Sometimes cats can be pretty unfathomable in their reactions, that's for sure. For _Cricket_ to give her more confidence, when you stroke her, lift her tail and stroke it underneath up straight to the tip, or even curve it slightly over her back toward her head....I've found that this tends to make a cat feel more confident.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

catloverami said:


> Do they "come" on command? Teach them individually to do this if they don't already do by saying their name and "come". Then give them a yummy treat they really like....a tiny bit of cheese, or cat treat. When they're doing this well, then start asking them to come together. Hopefully they will be so focused on getting a treat that they will forget about hissing/growling at each other. Feed them treats if they are paying attention to you, and give them lots of praise "good girls!". Move away, and call them again, and give treats if they're good. If they start to hiss/growl, walk away and ignore them. If they come 2-3 times and behave well, then give them treats and each a catnip toy and tell them to "go play". Throw the toys so they go in opposite directions. The point of this exercise is you want them to get over this hissing/growling habit and look forward to come together as they know they'll get treats/toys. They've made improvement, but you may be able to get them to be more friendly than just tolerant. It's important to give them lots of loving _individually_ away from the other initially as they seem to be craving it, when they get more comfortable you can give them equal loving. Sometimes cats can be pretty unfathomable in their reactions, that's for sure. For _Cricket_ to give her more confidence, when you stroke her, lift her tail and stroke it underneath up straight to the tip, or even curve it slightly over her back toward her head....I've found that this tends to make a cat feel more confident.


Thanks for all those ideas. I'll put them into play.

Today we left the house and they spent it in the patio room together. That's where the Feliway plug-in is. No hissing/growling when we came home. Not even when they wanted to be with us. Maybe the Feliway is helping calm things down.

Cricket is also going around with her tail up in the air a lot today. That's a sign of happiness/confidence, right? Bella really wants to play. So I've spent a bit more time indulging her with a wand toy, catnip toy and lase chase. Cricket seemed more content watching us play.

I dunno. Maybe Cricket is just in one of those moods when she wants to be left alone. This is her way of keeping Bella off her. We find Bella is a very affectionate/needy kitty. She jumps up in your lap demanding attention.

Dinner tonight was served in the kitchen but opposite sides of the room. Both ate in silence and walked off at their will. No growling/hissing or glaring.

Our tactic now is to not react when they hiss/growl except by redirection if they don't disengage. We're also managing those temptation moments. For instance Bella found herself contained in the patio room while dinner was being prepared. If she's around she's always under foot and harassing us for food. That crowds out Cricket and becomes very threatening. Bella is one very impatient, demanding kitty. She was let out as soon as the food bowls were let down. If things continue to improve, we'll play it this way.

My next trials will be Rescue Remedy for Cricket to calm her anxiety and a trip to the vet just to make sure there isn't anything wrong with her.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

Looks like today was good all around. No hissing, growling or glaring. A few careful looks when they walked around corners, but no over reactions. The dinner food has been cleared away.

Bella's sleeping in the cat tree. Cricket is taking turns in the windows upstairs. It's a quiet household again. A few more days of this and they may just forget all about it. I found it interesting and promising how avidly Cricket watched Bella playing with me earlier. Like she was thinking "Hmm, that looks fun and not too threatening".

I miss the middle of the night crazies now. When they'd chase each other through the house.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Sounds like they on the right track now....tail up=good=showing confidence in herself. Good for Cricket. Keep on encouraging her.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

And we're back to being bad. Started this morning early. Cricket comes out of the bedroom where she slept all night to see Bella playing with her catnip toy. (They have identical toys.) Hiss/growl... "Knock it off!"... run away.

A few hours later they see each other in the downstairs hall. Hiss/growl, Mexican standoff. Cricket gets a time out in the Laundry Room to calm down.

Let them out together again and they go their separate corners. Bella's napping on the cat tree in her favorite spot. Cricket's shadowing dad around.

The more I see this the more it seems like a phase rather than misdirected aggression. They will get along with each other and relax enough to nap in each other's presence. They share resources (they cleaned each other's food bowls, use the litterbox in the same room, drink from the same water bowl). Cricket's just being a little brat whenever she thinks Bella has gotten in her way.

I'm going to try Rescue Remedy on Cricket to settle her more. She never was an easygoing cat but this nervousness/aggression is getting out of hand.

Oddly enough they are behaving exactly like my nieces. Those two will be calm one minute then they turn downright vicious. Especially when one thinks the other has dared to claim their stuff. We handle them the same way. First distraction. Second warning to cut it out. Third is a time out.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

catloverami said:


> Sounds like they on the right track now....tail up=good=showing confidence in herself. Good for Cricket. Keep on encouraging her.


Individually both are very happy and content. Tails up, seeking affection from their humans, relaxed and purring. They just get prissy with each other and only on certain occasions.

This afternoon Bella got up from her nap and went looking for my dad. He had just gone upstairs and she heard him. She found him in his bedroom folding laundry on the bed. Cricket had spent most of the morning there looking for his attention. She even wanted belly rubs from him which she never does. As soon as Bella walked into the room seeking Daddy's love, Cricket started her growling/hissing. Dad told them both to knock it off because he didn't want fighting in his room. They immediately stopped and looked away.

Tell me that is not a sibling rivalry thing.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

Kitties had company today. The family horde visited. Brother and his three kids, sister & bro-in-law and their two kids. Lots of people running about house and outside. Planting flowers on the deck, playing baseball in the backyard, having a picnic and watching movies inside. So lots of interesting things to see.

Both cats are used to these family visits now. They want to see what's going on and the kids want to play with them. So they get lots of attention and back rubs.

Both kitties strutted about the house tails held high. Only time we had issues was when they decided to growl at each other. Cricket definitely starts it.

My sister fed them treats together. They went from hissing to eating, then looked up well-sated, stared at each other and walked away tails held high. 

It's as if they have decided they just don't want to be friends. They are 100% normal on their own and with us. As pets they are perfectly friendly and engaged. They eat normally, use the litterbox normally, sleep and play. They just don't look to each other for companionship.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

While it must be sad to see this, they've made significant progress since your original post. I've lived with a cat physically attacking others, and I would have been estastic with _frenemies_. But, I can't imagine if this happened to my twins, I would be heartbroken. Don't give up hope, things could be back to normal in no time.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

marie73 said:


> While it must be sad to see this, they've made significant progress since your original post. I've lived with a cat physically attacking others, and I would have been estastic with _frenemies_. But, I can't imagine if this happened to my twins, I would be heartbroken. Don't give up hope, things could be back to normal in no time.


Thanks for the optimism. It is heartbreaking to see. That's the main reason I keep posting. I wish I knew how to get them over it.

I know it sounds like I'm being belligerent not following the advice of separating them and doing a slow reintroduction. We've just found that the longer we keep them apart the more hostile they are together when the ban is lifted. They'll sit on either side of the door taunting each other or just waiting to get another shot. best thing that has worked is to give them time outs when/if the stand-offs get too aggressive. A half hour or so in the Laundry Room and they come out much calmer and able to ignore each other.

They do not act odd in any other way beyond not wanting to be friends. Their sleeping/eating/cuddling habits are exactly the same. They just seem to have forgotten how to play nice with each other. I wish I knew what happened to precipitate the first fight. There has been absolutely no sign of critters outside except birds and the random squirrel. Both are entertainment features for them and the primary reason why they take to sitting in the windows or patio room.

This morning was interesting. Cricket came downstairs for her early morning stretch/eat/walk. She happened to reach the hallway just when Bella came out of the Patio Room for her walk. They stared at each other with tails held high. Then Bella started stalking forward as if to play. Cricket immediately backed off and started hissing. I gave her a verbal chastisement and she stopped hissing then Bella chased after her.

A week ago that exchange would have ended playfully with them running through the house loudly. One chases the other then they stop in some room and break off. It was their play. Next you'd know it, the other would be chaser would be the one chased back through the house the other way. They may even meet at some point for a little wrestle which turned into a grooming session.

Breaks your heart to see Cricket go into full defense mode and not let Bella touch her. Makes me wonder if Bella got a bit too rough in their play and now Cricket's just afraid her big sister will hurt her.

I'm no longer worried about them killing each other. I'm hoping in a month they'll progress from frenemies back to friends again.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Well it seems your dad has the magic touch (or voice)....interesting they both seek out his attention and when told to "knock it off" they do. I agree with_ Marie _that they have made good progress in a short time, and think positively that they may continue and maybe be good cuddle buddy friends again. As you say at least you needn't worry about them "killing each other". 

Because you didn't see any animal outside, doesn't mean there wasn't one.....I recall a post some time ago about a sweet lovable female cat that suddenly went psycho and starting attacking her owner without provocation....he came home and she greeted him as usual and then suddenly attacked him. She kept attacking him for weeks and he had to isolate her in another room, she just attacked him, but not his wife. I think it was found there was a dead animal in the clothes dryer hose. And I think later there was observed a 'possum near his house (or maybe that was another post). Anyway, the point is it's usually the scent of another animal that can trigger an episode of misdirected aggression....cats sense of smell is better than their sight. Our doors and windows are not airtight and scents can drift in from outside.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

BroganMc said:


> I know it sounds like I'm being belligerent not following the advice of separating them and doing a slow reintroduction. We've just found that the longer we keep them apart the more hostile they are together when the ban is lifted.


I don't think you should start over, either. Just keep doing what you're doing. 

I saw that you mentioned Rescue Remedy. Some people here swear by RR and Feliway. They have absolutely no effect on any of my girls, but it's worth a try.


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## MowMow (Nov 6, 2010)

I am a hardcore Feliway believer. It doesn't work overnight. It takes like a month to really take effect initially, but when I run out I can tell the difference in MowMow's attitude with the kitten. He becomes VERY intolerant if I take more than a few days to a week to install a new refill.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

They seem to have settled into their frenemies mode now. It's kinda funny to see. Bella really wants to play. Cricket doesn't. So when Bella is in a playful mood she'll look to her former playmate. Cricket hisses and backs away. Bella looks at her oddly. Not angry or hissy. Her tail is held high, she just studies her sister as if saying "What's with you silly?"

Last night Bella galloped through the house chasing after Cricket. Not a stalk just her old playful run. Cricket took one look and hurried up to my dad's room.

Today Cricket started playing with a mouse. That's a good sign. She hasn't been playing at all the last week.

It does mean I have to play more with Bella on her own. If I can redirect her play energies on a wand toy she's less likely to chase her sister.

They ate dinner in the kitchen together but apart. Backs turned but tails happy. The secret seems to be to keep them occupied far enough away from each other they don't go into their hissing matches.

Biggest change has been how Bella reacts to Cricket's hissing. She was going into her aggressive mode. Now she just looks at her like she's loopy. Eventually she gives up trying to figure her out and struts away to her tree or to us for attention. Or else Cricket hightails it to her hiding spot.


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## bluemilk (Oct 3, 2005)

This is a very good sign! You know what helps cats live together,and mend fences? Something that works consistently? The fact that they HAVE TO.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

bluemilk said:


> This is a very good sign! You know what helps cats live together,and mend fences? Something that works consistently? The fact that they HAVE TO.


That's the primary reason I am not separating them for prolonged times. It's our house together. They have to share. Same rule I have for my nieces and nephews. No fighting because it won't make a difference.

Tonight was funny. Dad and I got home at the same time. Cricket and Bella both came out to greet us. Cricket walked right past Bella and did nothing. A few minutes later, Bella walked past Cricket. Cricket gave a short hiss, which earned her a sharp "Cut it out!" from me. I looked, Bella was looking at her sister like she was nuts and kept walking. Cricket darted off for the kitchen.

Then they waited patiently in the kitchen as we got dinner ready. Still feeding them in separate corners. That way Bella isn't as tempted to sniff Cricket's bowl midway through the meal. Also gave Cricket some Rescue Remedy to see how that affects her. She does seem more mellow now. Hissed a couple times but Bella ignored her. I think that's the biggest help. If Bella treats it like a non-incident then Cricket doesn't escalate.

On the outside animal front, there was a squirrel chowing down at the bird feeder today. Kept Bella riveted on the cat tree. But she didn't freak out. The garden is their entertainment center. So many things to watch and hunt. We gave her some treats so she had something as a reward.

Oh and last night Cricket spent it snuggled against my dad's arm. She's getting plenty of affection from him. Both kitties prefer him anyway.


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## LaurulFeatherCat (Sep 16, 2011)

At two and a half years old, they are both mature queens and are doing the I AM TOP CAT! behaviors. After a lot of conflict, one will emerge dominant and the other will be subordinate. Your girls have decided your dad is top cat in the house and you are subordinate to them. If you want to be dominant to them, you have to tell them you are. You how they yowl at one another and threaten one another right before they physically fight? You need to master that sound. If you do and you use it, they will know you are dominant.
I control my cats by using the same vocalizations they use on one another. If I am eating and they disturb me and want my food, all I have to do is a quiet back throat growl just like they do to one another, and the cat involved backs off. If a cat is being aggressive to me for whatever reason, usually because I have taken something from it I didn't want them to have, all I have to do is hiss and do the high throated growl they use to say, "this is mine, you cannot have it". If they do do back off, then I give them the open mouthed loud yowl of anger and they quickly turn tail and run from me. I am top cat and my cats know it.
It may take a few more dominance fights, but soon the two sisters will establish the pecking order and settle down. Right now it sounds like Bella is going to be dominant and Cricket subordinate. You need to make yourself dominant to Bella.:cat


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

Oh I don't have a problem being top cat to them. They don't get aggressive with me and do respond to my commands to knock it off. They just prefer my dad for cuddling. I get plenty of leg rubs and purrs. When I walk by them, they'll arch their backs and roll over for a head scratch or belly rub.

Today was interesting. The kitties started playing together again. Bella discovered a box full of packing paper and took it out. I came down to find toys strewn everywhere in the patio room and the cats sound asleep in the corners.

They came to the door together to greet my dad when he got home. Usually I chase them away so they don't get the bright idea to run outside but thought my dad would appreciate the greeting.

Now they are spending pre-dinner playing chase. Cricket has a new variation on the theme. When Bella chases her into the corner she gives a short hiss to call her off. Then Bella runs away and Cricket chases her. She still does a few hisses and low growls but they are more playful warnings to end the chase.

I think we're out of the frenemies stage now. I don't know if it was the Feliway, Rescue Remedy or just time, but they seem to have worked it out. Thanks for all the advice. Time to close this thread I think.


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## BroganMc (Feb 28, 2010)

They haven't eaten this close together in a week:



Yeah, I think they're over it.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Great! pic.....hope it stays that way.


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