# Are guys friendlier than girls?



## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

I’m speaking, of course, about cats! And I’m starting to wonder if female cats are less friendly than males, at least when we’re talking about interactions between cats. 

I have two female cats, Muffs and Abby, both of whom I adore. But I had a devil of a time getting them to finally like each other, even though they were only a few months old at the time. It took over three months and countless hours either side of baby gates before they could be left together unsupervised. 

Shortly thereafter, my adult daughter came to stay with me for a few months, along with her male kitten, Neko. After a slow introduction with all of the usual steps, we finally let Neko out with the girls. He first went slowly up to Muffs, just wanting to play. Muffs gave him the evil eye and a little growl. He decided he had better leave Muffs alone. He then went to try and play with Abby – not aggressively; he was actually very cautious. Alas, for his efforts, he was treated to a hiss and a paw swipe. The poor little guy then came to sit beside me, and gave me a sad little look, as if to say “They’re not very friendly!”. 

A few friends of mine, who have had difficulty with their cats getting along, have also commented that the problems tend to start with or center around the females, whereas the males are less of an issue. 

All that being said, my experience is drawn from a very small sample. So, just for fun, perhaps those of you who have had experience with both male and female cats will share your experience. Do you find guys to be friendlier than girls? Perhaps you find your girls to be friendlier than the guys? Or perhaps you haven’t noticed any difference? 

And let’s stick to cats…because, clearly, men and women are a different story!


----------



## swimkris (Jul 17, 2010)

I think it depends on the cat. My female kitten Pumpkin is very friendly, especially with males, but if a cat of either sex hisses at her, she WILL hiss back. My male kitten Simone is pretty skittish, but he's loved Pumpkin since he met her as a 8 week old kitten. I watched my friends adult male cat during her vacation before I got Simone, and Yoshi (the friend's cat) was terrified of Pumpkin. Pumpkin sort of forced herself on him though, and they became playmates within a few days. My friend said that Yoshi has since become very friendly with other cats.


----------



## kwarendorf (Oct 12, 2009)

I too can only speak from my experience, but boys are definitely more social than girls. At least among Balinese. I have one of each and he is in your face, she a little more reserved. The same is true of mg GF's two Bali's.


----------



## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

From the cats I've owned, I've had some very affectionate males and some very affectionate females. Just depends on the cat I think.


----------



## RowdyAndMalley (Aug 9, 2010)

I agree with Heather. Some females are sweet as buttons, others are not.... Same goes with males. I have had both growing up and have both now and they are both super affectionate and friendly.


----------



## CuteNCraze86 (Dec 29, 2007)

I totally agree on this. I say it all the time. I started out with 1 boy and 1 girl as kittens. Everything was great. I introduced a girl kitten about 3 months later and the two girls have really never got along. I have seen them laying together a few times and that was a big deal because it NEVER happens. Even now, three years later, they will hiss and swat at one another... nothing bad.... they are just really annoyed by one another. Neither have ever had a bad interaction with the boy. I have since got two kittens and they are boys.... which is what I wanted. I didn't want any more girls.

Don't get me wrong... the girls are SWEET as can be towards ME and people. It is just between the other cats and our dogs. All 3 boy cats tolerate the dogs and 1 even plays. But the girls I am afraid never will. 

So maybe I am biased and I do LOVE all of my cats very much but I prefer boy cats.


----------



## katlover13 (Apr 15, 2008)

Of the cats I have now the boys are definitely more friendly. Juno and Pepper are both hissy with the others sometimes. Scottie is the only one of the six males that is unfriendly with the other cats and he will even play with them sometimes. He also gets along well with Charlie who is the male cat that "mothered" him when he was a bottle baby. Juno is the most unfriendly, if the other cats get near her she gives them the straight armed slap. She is improving, though.


----------



## NRD (Mar 31, 2010)

I have no doubt that it depends upon the individual cat, but if you get a large enough sample size over time, I suspect that females are the source of more socialization issues than males. I happened to be at my local Petsmart yesterday and spoke to a representative of a local humane society that deals with hundreds and hundreds of cats a year. I told her of the long socialization process I had gone through with Snowball, and her response was that they had found females were more difficult as a rule than males. In the gross generalization dept, guys tend to be more laid back and go with the flow, whereas females tend to be more fastidious and particular. 

We could always do a poll on CatForum to get a quick read on whether members have had more issues with males, females, or both equally, but then you'd need to know what the percentage breakdown of ownership of kitties here is, by gender, to see if the problems were proportionate. Indeed, that's an interesting question in and of itself--do you imagine it breaks down 50:50 here, or would you think it skewed in one direction or another?


----------



## tate (Jan 17, 2010)

My girls are complete opposites: Rosie the DSH loves any cats, dogs, or people she meets. Ruin the Meezer hates Rosie & George (the most easygoing & lovable big, black DSH ever!) & took over a month to accept Donovan (Ori kitten). As for the boys George accepts anyone, & Donovan is a typical obnoxious kitten who came in acting as if he owned the place, and took over accordingly.  
I've never had a cat that would attack other cats though, they just tend to avoid each other if they don't get on.


----------



## Miso (Dec 5, 2009)

I have one of each and my male cat is definitely more social, friendly and laid back compared to my girl. She is the sweetest cat but she is more independent and reserved.


----------



## Kobster (Feb 1, 2007)

I would say male cats are definitely sweeter and friendlier and more easy going in general than female cats. Thats in my personal experience with my own cats and in the cats I deal with in the hospital environment. There are exceptions to every rule, but I think Males are by far the fairer of the sexes in this case.


----------



## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

Miu is the only cat I have and she's affectionate but can be quite a B if she wanted to. Definitely, she's an alpha cat. Confident and will tell you off without a second thought if you don't 'follow her petting rules'.

I've heard the same thing about males vs females. Even if spayed, perhaps they still have some hormones working, can they still PMS?


----------



## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Over many years of breeding and owning cats, I found that _generally speaking_ males are the most demonstrably affectionate, whereas females you have to earn their love. I've found that the cats I bred and raised myself were generally more affectionate and bonded to me than females I bought for breeding even if I got them as kittens when they were about 5 mos. old. Tho on the other hand _any of the _males I brought in for breeding were very affectionate and sucky. Most of my females that I raised were very bonded to me more than to any other members of my family. Perhaps that was due to fact that I did all the food preparation, grooming, and assisted them when they had their kittens.


----------



## StormChaser (Aug 3, 2010)

I agree - in my experience I have found that our boy kitties were way more outgoing than our females. That's not to say that our females weren't sweet lovebugs, they just weren't so free with their affection.  With all the cats I've had growing up, there were only two boys that were not very outgoing. The rest of them were attention hogs. When the time is right for us to add another kitty to our family, we'll definitely be getting a boy.


----------



## Ducman69 (Aug 28, 2010)

I dunno about "friendlier".

But from my friends cats and brief experience with my own furballs, I'd say the boys are more lap oriented and a bit bolder.

Wesley insists on petting sessions where he flops down on top of you. But then he's content and will go about, possibly not even in the same room as you. Buttercup though always likes to be nearby and is super friendly, but won't jump on your lap purring like Wesley. 

Cliffs Notes: Boys are more likely to be lap cats. Girls more "be with you" cats, but both friendly. =)


----------



## vapid (Aug 2, 2010)

This is pretty interesting to hear. We got our cats less than two months ago, and the no-kill shelter insisted that two females would be easiest to get socialized.

Well, what I now have are two cats that love to follow me around, one that likes to lay near me but will randomly bite at petting, and the other that just likes to be near me.

The bully I think is going to live at my girlfriends, and I'll replace her with a younger male, for the sake of the other cat, her, and my sanity as well lol.


----------



## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

I'll never forget what my friend said when we were talking about this very subject: Boy cats are _sweeter and dumber_ than girl cats, kind of like human beings.  

In my vast experience of having had 1 girl cat and 1 boy cat, I would say boys are definitely sweeter and more affectionate. Yeah, yeah, there are individual differences, but I love a generalization as much as the next person.


----------



## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

October said:


> Boy cats are _sweeter and dumber_ than girl cats, kind of like human beings.


LOL!! Well said...no need to survey that one!


----------



## CuteNCraze86 (Dec 29, 2007)

October said:


> I'll never forget what my friend said when we were talking about this very subject: Boy cats are _sweeter and dumber_ than girl cats, kind of like human beings.


Hahahah - totally agree! One of my girls is super smart and the least social among the other cats. She is sweet to us though. Very Very sweet to humans.


----------

