# Very Shy 9 month old kitten - HELP!!



## Lynsey_Jay82 (Jul 21, 2011)

Hiya everyone - I got my first kitten Mikey when he was 9 weeks old - when i first got him he was timid but eventually came round to me and slept beside me on the pillow he was the affectionate! I got a 6 week old kitten in April there - he is now 4 months! And Mikey has totally changed his ways - When i go to clap him, he try's to avoid me, when i do get to clap him he licks himself and cleans the scent off him, he never approaches me for any attention any more unless he is hungry or wants some dreamies out my hand! He still trusts me enough to eat out my hand and follows me about the house everywhere i go... For example - his bed is in my room but if i stay up late he wont go to bed unless i do! He seems very loyal and from what i can see he seems to have taken on the parent role with wee Brady and is acting all grown up - (like a grumpy teen) but the fact he doesnt like me touching him is very frustrating as i love him to bits! His mood changed when i brought Wee Brady home.... Wee Brady seems like he is ruling the roost too, he is outgoing, super affectionate and Mikey is Timed and laidback.... he always let's Brady eat before he goes anywhere near his bowls! They are best of friends and really do get on like a house on fire... The only issue i have is how to let Mikey know he is loved and get him to fully trust me! Any help for shy cats would be great! thanks in advance


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## Lynsey_Jay82 (Jul 21, 2011)

No one got any thoughts on this? Come on guys!! Help me out a little here... lol


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Well, Mikey got his nose out of joint when you got wee Brady. You will have to spend extra one-on-one time with Mikey, preferably in a separate room out of sight and hearing of Brady, or he may just want to horn in on the attention you lavish on Mikey. Grooming is very bonding if you do it in a gentle way. Use a comb rather than a brush as sometimes prickly brushes will put off a cat grooming altogether. Even if he's a shorthair give him a combout every day. Lift the coat gently or backcomb especially on back of neck and head, as this imitates a momcat's licking.

At 9 mos., Mikey is starting to become mature but still in a rebellious teenage stage. So I wouldn't despair that he won't be affectionate with you any more...just realize that it is likely a stage he is going through. When you have him by himself, if he doesn't want to be pet a lot, don't force him. Sit on the floor and play with him---throw paper or foil balls, drag a cord (string or ribbon) around you and through your lap, but put it away in a secure place at the end of playtime---some cats will eat string etc. and could result in an intestinal blockage. Sneak in a couple of pets here and there while playing with him. Some cats are timid by nature and you have to work a little harder at getting their trust. Since he was affectionate when he was younger, this should come back, you just have to be patient and loving.

By the way, Brady at 6 weeks is really too young a kitten to be taken away from momcat. Kittens need at least another 6 weeks of handling and rough and tumble play with their litter mates and discipine by momcat to really learn their cat and people socialization skills. So you have some extra work as well with Brady. Hope Mikey will come around you in a month or so with more individual attention. Give us an update.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

I should have read your profile first and somehow missed that Brady is now 4 mos. old, just starting into the rambunctious teens. Two lively kitties are a barrel of laughs. 
Haven't heard that expression before...."clap him"? means petting?


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## tarah44 (Jul 18, 2011)

catloverami said:


> Well, Mikey got his nose out of joint when you got wee Brady. You will have to spend extra one-on-one time with Mikey, preferably in a separate room out of sight and hearing of Brady, or he may just want to horn in on the attention you lavish on Mikey. Grooming is very bonding if you do it in a gentle way. Use a comb rather than a brush as sometimes prickly brushes will put off a cat grooming altogether. Even if he's a shorthair give him a combout every day. Lift the coat gently or backcomb especially on back of neck and head, as this imitates a momcat's licking.
> 
> At 9 mos., Mikey is starting to become mature but still in a rebellious teenage stage. So I wouldn't despair that he won't be affectionate with you any more...just realize that it is likely a stage he is going through. When you have him by himself, if he doesn't want to be pet a lot, don't force him. Sit on the floor and play with him---throw paper or foil balls, drag a cord (string or ribbon) around you and through your lap, but put it away in a secure place at the end of playtime---some cats will eat string etc. and could result in an intestinal blockage. Sneak in a couple of pets here and there while playing with him. Some cats are timid by nature and you have to work a little harder at getting their trust. Since he was affectionate when he was younger, this should come back, you just have to be patient and loving.
> 
> By the way, Brady at 6 weeks is really too young a kitten to be taken away from momcat. Kittens need at least another 6 weeks of handling and rough and tumble play with their litter mates and discipine by momcat to really learn their cat and people socialization skills. So you have some extra work as well with Brady. Hope Mikey will come around you in a month or so with more individual attention. Give us an update.


Well said. A 6 week old kitten is really young to be separated from it's mother. Mikey may have instinctively known this and became it's surrogate mom. My mom's male cat did the same thing when she rescued 4 week old abandoned kittens. I don't think he stopped being affectionate but most of his attention went to the kittens. 

Jealousy, insecurity and his assumed responsibility for the little guy may all be playing a role in his behavior change. 

And then, some cats are just not that cuddly and affectionate. As a shy kitten he was seeking comfort where he could. Maybe now that he has a buddy, he doesn't need your comfort as much or maybe he is miffed about the other cat. I am glad they get along great though. 

It sucks when we want attention from our pets and we don't get it but they are cats. They do things on their terms. That can change over time. My female use to be a huge cuddle bug but when a man entered my life 3 years ago that completely stopped for 3 years. She was always and I mean always with my daughter. Now that my daughter has a boyfriend and is gone a few nights a week, she is back to cuddling and sleeping with me but only when my bf isn't around. Sometimes, cats just want someone all to themselves. 

That being said, Catloverami gave some great ideas. I'd try them out and see what happens.


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## marti (Jul 24, 2011)

hope he comes around soon hun


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## milo22 (May 23, 2011)

well my 3 months old Pebbles, those not like humans at all, she will come to see us but does not want to be handle, I got her she was 5 weeks old, and still today she not confortable being handle, I hope she gets over her fear, she was put in a box and left for dead in a deach..................So I can understand she does not trust human, I'm wonderring how long it will take for her to be confortable with us...........if ever??


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

I would use tips from Heidi's kitty boot camp to bring your cat around. Here is where you can find it.

http://www.catforum.com/forum/598849-post.html

There are also some videos that has tips for bringing kittens around that is put out by the urban cat league.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpEcx...layer_embedded











You can use the same tips for under socialized cats also.


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## praline (Jun 3, 2011)

I really am liking a lot of what I see with Jackson Galaxy on Animal Planet. I like how he lets the cat decide what it wants to do. 

One thing he is big about is vertical climbing areas for shy cats. I have watched where this really changes the cats temperament. Granted I never tried it myself as I don't have shy cats but its worth a shot.

Clear off shelves of nick nacks and make them cat friendly. Make sure he has a vertical climbing area in each room. Cats feel more secure up high usually. Him feeling more secure will mean less stress.

To me that seems a real common sense approach to the issue. Make him feel more secure in his surroundings and he won't be so shy.
I am never pro forcing a pet to do something they don't want to unless its medical and needs to be done. My way takes a very long time sometimes but totally worth it. Your not teaching your pet anything if you have to force it to be loved. 

Lots of treats but don't push the treats on him in a forceful way. Those videos are great but are of hungry ferals. Your cat isn't feral and isn't (at least I hope not) used to being hungry. The moment he looks at you, have baked chicken or his favorite at the ready. Toss or hand him a very extremely tiny tidbit every single time he looks at you or comes even close to you. You can keep the chicken in a ziplock bag in your pocket. Your cat will associate you with something good (chicken). Over time he will learn to trust you in this way. If you push or try and see how close you can get to him (testing him) this will not gain trust. 

The best thing is to put the kitten up in a safe secure area and have some 1 on 1 time with your older cat. Pop in a good movie, get nice and relaxed in your comfy clothes and a baggie of chicken. While watching the movie, toss a tiny piece to him... at first don't bother even staring or looking at him. lolol he knows your relaxed and he will relax. :love2


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## praline (Jun 3, 2011)

Here are some great video clips he has on the Animal planet site.
http://animal.discovery.com/videos/my-cat-from-****-jackson-galaxy-videos/

You can try and catch one of his episodes on Animal Planet or the internet. 

I like his laid back let the cat make all the choices way of doing things.
You can't train any human/dog/cat to trust you. Trust has to be earned and it takes time. Those videos will give you some ideas however on how to work at the relationship.

When we adopted Mouse, she had the potential of being an extremely shy cat. For a week we couldn't even look at her .. she would play with us if we had our eye closed lolol 
Now just a couple of months later she is extremely outgoing. Had we done things differently, she very well could still be living up to her name.


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