# I miss her...



## oceanmist (Feb 12, 2011)

Casie was my first cat ever. I've had her since I was two. My parents were driving to a dinner club and saw a bunch of kittens playing in the road. On the way back, the kittens were still there so my parents went home and my dad got some gloves and a box and went back. Casie was the only kitten he could reach, the others went into a drain pipe and wouldn't come out. So we took her in. 

She was always antisocial and grumpy, but when I was younger I would always let her into the closets and let her hang out in my room which was when we started bonding. She never really liked anyone else but me. When I got older, she always would sleep on my bed beside me and I always felt like she was protecting me from my fears of the dark(and aliens XD). She still wasn't the nicest cat(I have the scars to prove it) but I'm sure she tried her best. 

In her last year or so she was happy and nice. She never bit or scratched anyone anymore and she just slept a lot. I convinced my dad to let me get a harness and a leash for her(she was too fat for the harness so we got her a collar) so I could take her outside. After 12 or so years living in the house, I could trust her to be off the leash as we walked. Together we discovered how far from the house she'd stray(we live on a 30 acre piece of land and she'd never leave sight of the house). She seemed to enjoy it a lot.

I had been trying to get her a vet appointment since August but my dad wasn't convinced she needed one(I was the only one who really ever saw the cat because she didn't like out dog and stayed upstairs with me). She hadn't been to the vet for a while since my dad was always 'busy'(my mom is paralyzed, so my dad had a lot of insurance and legal stuff to take care of). By December I noticed she wasn't eating a lot(she was a fat cat and always ate a lot) so I got my dad to make a vet appointment in the end of December. 

Turns out she had a huge tumor in 3 of her organs, which was probably why she was fat in some places and so skinny in others. She had an exploratory surgery to see if they could operate and they couldn't. They said if they continued or let her live, she would be in pain. Without the surgery she would have died in a few weeks and before it she didn't seem in pain at all. So she was put down on January 3, 2011. 

Two weeks later we got a 7 month old kitten named Cherry. She's the exact opposite of Casie, she loves to play, loves belly rubs, loves to cuddle and is my shadow. But a few times every week I will cry because I miss Casie so much. She was my best friend and my first cat. I have her ashes beside me, beautiful pictures of her in my room, the lucky star I made her, her favorite blanket and a bag with some of her fur in it and I just can't get over the fact that she is gone. I wanted to be the last person she saw before she went under for surgery, but I ran out the door of the vet's office before I could ask because I couldn't stand it. I feel like I abandoned her.

Getting Cherry has helped fill the void of not having a cat, but does anyone know any other ways to help get over her loss?


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

I'm so sorry about Casie. I doubt there's much you can do to feel better, other than to let time take its course, and things will get easier as time passes. In the meantime, try to give Cherry lots of love and attention and, if it helps, share more stories about Casie and post some pictures.


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## Pawsitively Nicole (Feb 12, 2011)

I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is so hard to lose such a precious part of your life.

I know what you are going through. I lost my very first kitty 4 years ago. Honestly time is what will heal the hurt. One thing I did when I lost my girl was I gathered all of her pictures and when I was really upset I would look through them and talk to her. It made me feel better. Another thing that really helped me cope was I had a heart shape tag from her collar with her name on it. I put her tag on a chain and wore it under my shirt close to my heart. For some reason it helped me feel like she was close, like it was a physical expression of my grief and determination that I will never forget her. I still have that tag and chain. My vet knew how distraught I was and mailed me the poem about the Rainbow Bridge. If you haven't read it yet I highly recommend it. I had it taped up where I would see it most often and clung to it's words. It gave me hope and was such a beautiful thought. I don't know if any of this will work for you, but I thought I would share and maybe it can help. 

Love on Cherry and play with her, it will be a breath of fresh air during the sadness. Don't feel like Cherry has to replace Cassie though. I know for me no other cat will ever replace my first little princess, she has her own place in my heart never to be forgotten. I just made new spaces in my heart for each one of my kitties.

Rest in peace dear Cassie, I know you can feel how loved you are from the other side and how much you are missed.


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## oceanmist (Feb 12, 2011)

Thanks everyone. When we got her ashes it came with the Rainbow Bridge poem(and someone on another site had sent it to me before) and some Forget Me Nots.

I've made sure that she won't replace Casie ever. I always told Casie that I loved her with almost all of my heart(leaving some for other pets and family), but I haven't said anything of the sort to Cherry. Cherry does have a bigger place in my heart than my other pets(mainly because I bond better with my cats a bit more than my dog or other pets). 

And the main way I got over Casie's death was getting Cherry. The day she died I made myself feel better by talking to one of my mom's care workers about getting a new cat and what breed I'd want or color. And the next day we sent in a form for an appointment at the local shelter. 

Also, once I get my laptop back from the shop I'll have tons of beautiful pictures of Casie to post. A few days before she died I got a new camera and out of about 300 pictures, about 295 were of her. Right now all I have is one picture of her back towards me (http://i55.tinypic.com/2d8h0g3.png).


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## Pawsitively Nicole (Feb 12, 2011)

I'm glad that Cherry is helping you with the grief! What a sweet little angel. Casie's coat is stunning. It looks vibrant and soft. I can't wait to see more pictures of her, and Cherry too. I am glad that you are feeling better


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