# Female cat suddenly terrified of male cat



## williamr (Sep 7, 2010)

Here is the story, we don't know what to do. Any help would be SOOOOO appreciated.

We have two cats. One is a female, the other a male. Both neutered when they were very young. They have been together for a little over 3 years. The female is the dominant cat and she lets us pet her when she wants and only as long as she wants. Always has been very skittish. The male is soooo laid back, you can roll him over, rub his belly, do anything you want. We have never heard him hiss or anything. They have always gotten along and the female even licks him once in awhile and cleans his face.

No bad fights that we know of. Until today.

The male got wrapped up in a plastic bag that wrapped itself around his mid section. He went under our bed and into the box spring. It was hard to get him out, but we managed to get the bag off of him by ripping it. The whole time the female watched and looked under the bed and hissed the whole time. The male finally got out of the bed and he looked a little out of it. He had urinated and defecated under the bed during the ordeal. He seemed to shake it off eventually. We cleaned everything up and he was back to normal cleaning himself. Then for the first time ever, he all of a sudden started chasing the female and was very aggressive. He cornered her and she started urinating everywhere as she was cornered in the bathroom. We separated them and put them in separate rooms for the whole day while we continued to clean. They both ate their dinner and seemed to be okay, but as soon as the female sees the male she starts doing a low almost growl like sound I've never heard from a cat. Then if he gets closer she hisses, tail puffy, etc. The male is back to normal and when he sees this he backs away and cries out with his little sounds he makes when he is upset (like he always does). Well we let them be together but the male approached her again, he didn't hiss or act aggressive but she started hissing and actually a sound like she was crying in distress, VERY loud and never came from her before, and she started urinating everywhere again and wouldn't move or run away he just stared at her and she cried and hissed. So we separated them again.

Now they are separted by a double door they can see through, one on each side. When he gets close to the door and she is close, she will hiss at him, no other hostile action from her, no puffy tail, just a lot of hissing. He just lays there on his side of the door.

She will let us pet her as much as we want, scratch her head as much as we want, etc. she is more affectionate to us then before. He is the same, we can do anything we want to him. He HATES being alone, he loves company.

We are so stressed out now. I don't know what to do or how to fix this or even why it happened. Anyone have any suggestions or advice?


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

Redirected or misdirected aggression likely explains why this started. Your male cat was no doubt highly agitated and in an aggressive state as a result of what happened to him, but was unable to direct his aggression toward the source of the problem and, therefore, he redirected his aggression toward your female.

Regardless of the reason, given your cats’ current behavior, your best course of action is to do a full re-introduction. That is, you will need to reintroduce them as if they had never met each other, which will require keeping one or the other confined for at least a few weeks. You might consider not even allowing them to see each other for the first few days (tape some wrapping paper over the glass panes). While confined, try to give them a reason to like each other again, by having everything they enjoy (food, treats, playtime, etc.) happen at either side of the door, in each other’s company so to speak. So, put all comfort objects (food, water, toys, etc.) either side of the door (to the best of your ability, given your space configurations). If the female is still hissing when she’s at her side of the door, then move things (food, etc.) away from the door a few more feet until she seems comfortable, and then inch them back a bit at a time each day. 

You say the male hates being alone and loves company. If the female is more solitary, perhaps it would be better to confine her, although you are the best judge of which one to confine. After a few days, you could consider exchanging the cats’ positions (a room exchange) for part of the day, so that the same cat is not always the one confined. Try to make the “safe room” as comfortable as possible, and you or your spouse should try to spend as much time as you can with the confined cat.

Below is a link to an article involving a similar situation to yours, although the cats in the article were actually involved in several traumatic fights (fur flying, blood drawn, etc.), which is more drastic than your situation. So, hopefully, your introduction will proceed more quickly and more smoothly than the one described in this article. 

Little Big Cat

The website on which this article is found also contains helpful information relating to cat introductions. Just click on the “Free Article Library” tab and you will find a list of the various articles. Good luck!


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## williamr (Sep 7, 2010)

Thank you, we are trying to re-introduce them now. It is so stressful. Especially with the female urinating every time the male gets close. And add to that the male is the most loving animal I have ever seen and just constantly lets out the littlest, heart breaking cries when he can't get close to the female and be with her. I have a feeling it is going to be a LONG road because the initial introduciton only took a couple weeks and she only hissed the first day, never again after that (she was so skittish she would just run instead of fighting). Ugh, my poor babies.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

I had a similar situation where two of my cats grew up together, were friends (half brother, half sister), and got along fine, until she had a litter of kittens and attacked him when he got too close to the kittens. Had to keep them separated after that until the kitties went to new homes. But even after that my boy would continue to attack her if I paid the least bit of attention to her. He was insanely jealous of her, and they never re-established their previous friendship. She was so frightened when he attacked that she urinated, as does your cat, but also found out that made the male back off. So she continued to do that every time he attacked her. Most of the time they were fine together, as long as I paid attention to the girl out of sight or range of hearing of the male. This was quite a number of years ago, and I didn't think to do a re-introduction, so don't know whether that would have made a difference or not.

So I do think that_ Susan_'s tips for re-introduction are necessary, as your boy's certainly connected his fright with the plastic bag with her which has resulted in his redirected aggression. Hope things work out for you, and hope you'll give us an update.


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

It must be disappointing when two cats get along so well and then something happens to damage that relationship. I went through a rather long initial introduction with my two, so I appreciate how stressful intros can be. The more you can get each cat to believe that good things happen in the presence of the other (whether face-to-face or in sight/smelling distance of the other), so they begin to develop positive associations with the other cat, then the more quickly the re-introduction will likely go. As _catloverami_ recommended, do keep us posted on how things are going.


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## williamr (Sep 7, 2010)

Update:

The female will now approach the double doors with the male on the other side and sometimes swat at his feet under the door (they can see each other only if they lay on their side and look under the door). However, she still hisses often at him under the door, I think when she sees his face.

I sure wish this re-introduction stuff didn't take so long. We sure miss them being together and the male is all upset that he can't be with her.

We have swapped rooms so they were not always in one room and can smell the other one all over everything. They eat on each side of the door, about 1 foot from the door with no problems. We play games under the door with toys so the female can see/hear him do stuff and she is okay with that.


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## mimitabby (Apr 20, 2010)

after so many years of never having a cat problem like this it is frustrating and baffling when it happens. My cat problem went from a 10 to right now, it's more of a 3.. I am really thinking that in time, all will be peaceful again.
Be vigilant, it sounds like you are doing all the right things!


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

Well, if I'm interpreting your post correctly, it seems she's no longer growling or urinating inappropriately and, if so, that's definitely a step in the right direction. Since you only mention her being able to see him under the door, I'm assuming you've covered up the glass panes. Once she stops hissing at him, you can try removing the cover and letting them see each other through the glass, and see how she then reacts. If there's no more hissing or other negative behavior from either, you will be ready to go to the next stage. 

In addition to feeding and play, you can also consider giving them treats when they're on either side of the door and acting calmly...all in the hopes they'll eventually get the message that having the other cat around is not so bad after all. 

I know how frustrating it can be, since I went through a difficult and lengthy introduction with my two, which required the assistance of an animal behaviorist. On the plus side, although it seems like it's taking forever when you're in the thick of things, the time is only a drop in the bucket compared to the many years of joy you will have once they become friends again...although I know that's not too much comfort right now!


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## williamr (Sep 7, 2010)

The doors are wood, but they are double doors with a small gap inbetween them that they can see through, and the bottom they can see under when they lay down, sorry if it sounded like it was glass doors.

The female swats at his feet under the door then walks away and watches. She didn't hiss all day. She usually only hisses when she sees his face real close through the cracks in the door. When they play with each other's feet and no hissing or anything, then we do give them treats, which they love. We swapped rooms again. The female is hesitatnt in the room when she first gets in there but otherwise she lounges around no problem. They use each other's litter boxes, no problems there. And of course each other's toys/blankets.


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

Ah...my mistake with the doors. I had my two cats separated in a room with double glass-paned French doors. So, when you said "double doors they can see through", I assumed you had the same! I now see what you mean. The lack of hissing, the fact that she is largely at ease in the room, and their willingness to use each other's litter box and toys are all good signs. Since there was no hissing today, you might consider opening the doors just a crack tomorrow, using a door stop or something else to make sure the doors stay open just a few inches. If your female starts hissing again or either cat seems stressed, you can close the doors again, and wait a bit longer. But, if there's no hissing and they seems ok, the increased exposure might allow them to make a few more baby steps in the right direction.


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