# HELP! My new cat hates me!



## aliceayers (Apr 28, 2007)

Yesterday I adopted two lovely black and white cats from a PetsMart adoption day. The female cat Chloe (two years old) loves me, we play games and she even slept with me last night. Right now she's rubbing up against me and is sitting in my lap as I write this post. Chloe's brother (TBA on the name) is another story - he hisses at me and hides most of the time that I'm around. When I was in bed last night he came out and played with Chloe, but refuses to come near me.

Am I going to have to give my little boy back? I simply adore him but if he's going to hiss and spit when I come near, I am not sure how things are going to work out. 

What would you all do if you had a new cat that isn't liking you so far?


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

Have to give him back? And you got him yesterday? Cats are NOT into instant gratification. It can take months for a new cat to get comfortable in a new home. If you don't have the patience, please do give them BOTH back so they can be adopted into a home where they'll be given love unconditionally.

OK, so you want to make the committment and give this a go: what to do? Just leave him alone and give him his space. Take care of his needs and give him a chance to get to know he can trust you. Don't force yourself on him; let him come to you in his own time. Give him some places where he can feel secure. Under the bed, in the closet, a box in the corner. Remember that coming into a new home is an unsettling experience. Allow him to adjust at his own pace.

Keep us posted on how it's going, and pics sometime would be nice.


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## mi55_AnGie (Apr 28, 2007)

you just gotta be patient i guess. one of my cats named baby, which i got 2 months ago, is still hiding. i think its somehow related to the personality too. just give it time and show him u love him. things will get better. at least baby will purr when i pet her now =)


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## nanook (Jun 12, 2005)

> Have to give him back? And you got him yesterday? Cats are NOT into instant gratification. It can take months for a new cat to get comfortable in a new home. If you don't have the patience, please do give them BOTH back so they can be adopted into a home where they'll be given love unconditionally.
> 
> OK, so you want to make the committment and give this a go: what to do? Just leave him alone and give him his space. Take care of his needs and give him a chance to get to know he can trust you. Don't force yourself on him; let him come to you in his own time. Give him some places where he can feel secure. Under the bed, in the closet, a box in the corner. Remember that coming into a new home is an unsettling experience. Allow him to adjust at his own pace.


Could not have said it better.
The little guy is probably completely freaked out. New smells, new environment, new people. Not to mention spending the day at Petsmart and being transfered from here to there and all over the place. 
Cloe, being as relaxed as she is, is not the norm. Most cats need an adgustment period. Some take a few days and, as mi55_AnGie said, some take a few months.
If you haven't had cats before, or even if you have, it may be helpful for you to do a little reading on feline behavior and care.
Patience is the key.


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

Yes, it will take him time to build trust in you. Let him approach you on his terms...you're a big huge funny smelling mom (to him :lol: ) and he needs to adjust. 

The good news is that he is coming out and playing with his sister. There are extreme cases that take months, but most if the time it only takes a few days. I'm betting he'll be fine in a week...

Congrats on your kitties...welcome to the forum...and yes, we _require_ pictures!


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## nanook (Jun 12, 2005)

> ...you're a big huge funny smelling mom (to him )


 LOL!
So true! :lol:


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## aliceayers (Apr 28, 2007)

That's my little Chloe! Isn't she beautiful? I've had many, many cats before and none of them have ever not bonded with me instantly. I had one cat burrow into my dad's armpit the second we let him out of the cage. 

I'm going to give the little boy lots and lots of time, but I'm afraid that he'll never bond with me like I have bonded with my other cats. Does that happen? 

I guess I'm just worried because this is my first time with pets in my own home and I have had such good experiences before that this is a total shock to me.

What other advice do ya'll have? I'm taking notes..


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

awww...she's adorable! Hopefully we'll see the little boy soon.

There's not much more advice to give right now, at least about this particular situation...just time a patience. Make sure he has food and a litterbox nearby. You might want to keep the door to the room he's in closed, the smaller space may make him more comfortable. Also maybe just lying on the bed reading or watching TV with the volume low, with the lights turned down low, may encourage him to feel comfortable. 

If you feel like spending some $$ you can try Feliway...I'd go with the atomizer type so he's not frightened by a spray bottle. But I wouldn't do that unless he's still hiding a week from now. 

Keep us posted...


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Chloe is very cute! I'm so glad you adopted them together - imagine how scared Phantom (just a suggestion  ) would be without his sister. He just needs more time and patience. When I brought Cleo home, I would go into her room every hour and just lie down to be on her level. I would talk very softly and give her a treat. After a couple hours, she was purring and coming to me, but cautiously. Every kitty is different, but they all need a loving home, which is what you're giving both of them.

:2kitties


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

Chloe IS certainly a lovely kitty!! And yes, it's possible a cat will never bond. Perhaps the little guy didn't get enough human contact when he was a kitten. Maybe he was even abused or had some other bad experience. But trust, patience, and time will work wonders. 

When I adopted Mellie she was very leery of contact. Every time I put my hand toward her to pet her she ducked. I think maybe someone hurt her before I got her and so she was afraid. But she got over it and now she's the sweetest cat, though she shows me affection only when and where she wants it.


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## carolsclan (Jun 28, 2006)

Time and patience will fix anything .... my ferals who HAD never had human contact took 8 months ... and the one in particular has turned into a total lovebug


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## melysion (Mar 12, 2007)

Poor boy! Its a stressful time for him right now and he has only just moved in and has a lot of new things to contend with.

Leaving him in one room initially is a good idea and feeding him with the same diet he was eating before you got him is good too. Cats can take a long time to adjust. My cat, who I've only have for about 2 months, didn't eat properly for the first couple of weeks and I reckon it was a good month before he really began to feel secure. Plus you dont know what he may have had to contend with before. 

Time and patience and plenty of love is all he needs. Good luck!


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

I only have one little thing to add to all the other great advice here. Let the little guy see that his sister trusts you. Kitties will often follow the example of another cat, especially a sibling.
rcat


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## manitu22 (Apr 25, 2003)

I agree with the others. Just give him some time. My Willis took quite a while to finally come around. I used to cry all the time thinking he was always going to hate me and the world and finally one day he let me into his world. It took time (about a month before I could even touch him) but now he is extremely lovable. I just had a party last night with like 25 people and he just hung out and wanted to be petted. At one point in his life he would have hid and hissed at anyone who came near him.


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## debo (Jul 25, 2005)

aliceayers said:


> Chloe's brother (TBA on the name) is another story - he hisses at me and hides most of the time that I'm around. When I was in bed last night he came out and played with Chloe, but refuses to come near me.
> 
> What would you all do if you had a new cat that isn't liking you so far?



You need to give this poor kitty time to adjust. I am sure if you took 2 kids from the same foster home and moved them to another one, EACH WOULD REACT DIFFERENTLY. Kittiens are like kids and you have to be patient with them. Eddie, our last kitten was like this for the first week or so. It was just that he was sooooooooooo scared. He was petrified and that was his way of coping with it. Once he settled down he turned out to be the most sweet and loving little guy. PLEASE do not "give it back" because he is so scared. As far as worrying about him not bonding with you, you really have no idea how he'll be once he adjusts. Eddie thinks the sun rises and sets with me! He cries when I get ready every mroning before I go to work and he is in the window every night when I return! he is my little cuddle bug and I NEVER EVER thought he'd be like this. Leave him alone and he'll come around.


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