# Marley has transcended



## MeandHerForever (Oct 23, 2021)

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum as a member. I've been a cat lover for my whole life. Currently, I have two cats who are new to our home and adjusting, beautiful.

Earlier this year, my cat Marley passed away after a fight with cancer and liver failure. I'm hoping to get answers so I learn to be stronger in the future. Since I'm new here, I'm hoping you guys can encourage me to share more since right now I'm in a vulnerable place about what happened.

I got Marley exactly 10 years before she passed away, and I was her owner for that whole time. When we adopted her, she was between 3-4 years old, but we don't know her exact age. I adopted her from another owner, who adopted her from the shelter. All we were told about Marley is that her origins are unknown and that she lived a hard life being homeless in a construction site for a long period as a child. Because of this, she never completely acted like a normal cat, quite calm and peaceful however, and a star for visitors. She was a Himalayan cat with distinct blue eyes.

We were more than best friends yet I can't stop feeling like I didn't do enough to ease her transition into the next stage of consciousness. I wasn't prepared at all when she didn't wake up one morning. Since both me and my partner are filmmakers, we recorded many Marley videos and pictures and documented her existence which might help me with some answers. Anyway, hope this long introduction opens up a discussion. I'm including a picture of me and Marley, five days before she left us, and passed away.

Thanks


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

I am so sorry for your loss of such a lovely cat. I think Himalayans are the most beautiful cats in the world. By her age, as you are figuring it, it may very well be that she simply died from natural causes that you couldn't have foreseen. And she had, it seems, a peaceful death or at least she didn't go through a long period of illness, which would be worse. She could have been older than you think, as well, since you don't know for sure. It sounds to me as if you gave her a wonderful home, and she was lucky to be with her.


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## MeandHerForever (Oct 23, 2021)

Thank you for your kind comments and condolences. She did have a period of illness after an unfortunate vet visit, and so we gave her an IV treatment for like 6 months or so. For some reason, at one point I decided she should experience freedom again, and let her off the hook, even though she couldn't eat well anymore...

We like to think they are happy or content but I suppose we'll never know for a fact. They are so mysterious. Not a day goes by (or an hour) that she doesn't come to mind in one form or other.

She died in her sleep, which must be a sort of privilege. I hope I will meet her on the other side one day, if there's any one I want to see in the next life it'd be her!


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

If you and she want to see each other, I bet you will.


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## miscellaneous (May 24, 2021)

Such a sweet cat, your Marley. Grief over the loss of a beloved pet is an extremely hard thing to bear. Try to focus on the love you shared over all those years, and how wonderful it was to have that time together. This helps me whenever I miss my little Coco, who also crossed this year. 

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

(Author unknown)


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## MeandHerForever (Oct 23, 2021)

Hey Guys, thank you for all of the responses.

It's been really difficult meeting so many people whose pets have lived to 20, 25, and my dear loving Marley couldn't even make it past 15. I can't shake off the feeling that she left us too soon because I was a poor care taker, not attending to her often enough. It's like I loved her so deeply, but in her last few months I wasn't there to brush her like I used to, give her that special attention even though she was fading away before my eyes... I blame myself for her health problems, and for her fur not looking as well taken care of as before. I keep thinking... Why did she live so short compared to other cats?

Even though I knew she had cancer for over 6 months by that point I never prepared myself. It just seemed like a total fiction that she would depart. I was in such denial in fact that I started acting like she had another 5 years with me. Meanwhile, she was peeing everywhere around the house. Every time she peed somewhere, I'd just clean it up, mop the floor and pet her, tell her its okay even if she woke me up. It was a hot summer, so I put 4-5 cups of cold water throughout the house and changed them every couple hours. Nothing I did seemed to help her get better.

I've been feeling a lot of regret and guilt that I couldn't have been better to my dear Marley. It's been getting so intense that I couldn't make it to work today, some nights I get hardly any sleep. I've also been crying for hours and hours every day which makes it impossible to get any work done or rest. When I do sleep, I only see her in my dreams. When I close my eyes, I imagine seeing her once again, I see her shape, her touching my face, it never goes away.

A day after she passed away, when I was out on a walk, I heard her voice in my head. She said 'If you live a long and happy life, we will meet each other again.'

You could say that this voice was just the product of my imagination, but to me, it really sounded like her final message to me from the other side. I have decided to honour her decision for both of us, to come to a natural end myself, but that doesn't mean that the days aren't painful... I was only 15 years old when she came into my life. Now I'm a 25 year old adult, but I had never once imagined what life would be like without Marley in it... Some of you guys may have had many cats, but Marley was my first pet, my first commitment. I found her on craigslist some day! I made a life time commitment with her as my first pet, I never even considered having another pet, for me, it was only her... only Marley.


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

I know how it felt when I lost my soul-mate cat. People will tell you to get over it. Do not listen to them. You can't just get over it. This is grief. I am glad that you are going to carry on, and I understand your feelings of not wanting to until you heard that voice. The guilt........well, I think just about everyone who loses someone they love deeply goes through some part of that. Just feel it and let it go...feel it again and let it go again. 

Grief doesn't get "better" because "better" would be to have your loved one back.
Time doesn't heal all.
You will always have this grief. It doesn't get better but it does get different, because everything always changes.
And different is at least different.

I still have the grief for the beloved ones, two and four legged, that I have lost to death. It's not "better" now.
But, it seems as though I have expanded internally to make more room for that grief so that it no longer consumes every particle of my being, every moment of my days as it used to. That takes time and you have to go through it to get there.

Let yourself mourn and don't let people tell you not to. It's important. It's part of being alive. You will love an animal again and lose that animal too. None will be this beloved one, but you will love them anyway. And you can be surprised at the intensity of love you may feel again some day for another cat, or a dog, or something else. But you will lose them even so. It's the deal we make when we love those whose lives are shorter than ours are. It's worth it. Every time. But when you are going through this time it's terrible. My heart is with you.


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## PinotNoir (Feb 26, 2018)

Oh my gosh, I feel exactly the same way about my little Gabe who passed 7 weeks ago now. Even after the cancer diagnosis last January I latched onto the 2 year prognosis rather than acknowledging it might just be 6 months. I was in denial and even on the last day I thought I could save him.

We buried him in the yard and I find myself standing at the window looking over to where he is. Sometimes I even think I see him when I come home or when we had our bedtime game of pulling back the covers and him jumping over them to get to “his” spot.

I had him for 15 wonderful years and Im still so sad. I’m glad I discovered this forum and all the wonderful people who can help us thru this terrible time. Just knowing they are with me - and I with them - is helping.

I will always miss my wonderful, beautiful little Gabe…he and Marley are with all of the wonderful pets waiting for us.


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## Daily_Punch (11 d ago)

We like to think they are happy or content but I suppose we'll never know for a fact. They are so mysterious. Not a day goes by (or an hour) that she doesn't come to mind in one form or other.


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