# how to choose second cat?



## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

Hi all,

I have a cat, adopted from outdoors (possibly feral or wild stray) that we took in in October last year. She went from being unapproachable to being very bonded to me, and asks for attention & petting all day, when she isn't sleeping. She really wants to play, more with me than toys, and I've come to think she might benefit from a second cat.
She had a litter of kittens last fall before we took her in and spayed her. Not sure if that's relevant. Other than her kittens, I have no idea what her other relationships with cats have been. We keep her indoors due to a busy road outside.
I would welcome any advice as to whether we should think of getting a second cat, and if so which gender, age etc? MY local animal shelter will take a cat or kitten back if it doesn't work, and I suppose I could try with another. 
My cat's personality is quite timid & still fearful around strange people or circumstances -- I want to help her, not rock her boat!

thanks in advance, 

Jan H.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Many cats are happy being the only cat. They have a great life, they get all the attention. She sounds kind of timid. 

Since the shelter will take cats back that don't work out, I would try a cat younger and smaller than her, and one that isn't full-on 100% in crazy kitten-mode all the time. I don't think gender matters, but personality does.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Since she's already had a litter of kittens, she may enjoy a kitten again to "mother". Yes, personality will matter with her, so I wouldn't get a kitten that's the "litter boss", but one that is more suited to her personality. She may reject the kitten initially, but definitely do a gradual intro. Generally speaking, male kittens are more boisterous and rougher in their play than females.


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

I concur with the above. A slightly less aged cat - personally I'd go with the same sex. Best wishes, let us know how it works out.


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## cat owner again (Dec 14, 2012)

I adopted my cat when she had kittens and I doubt she would want a kitten. And I can't say she is really bonded with the son I kept. I think she would like being an only cat. I am not saying don't get another one, just letting you know about my cat.


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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

thanks all for your help!
she is indeed a timid cat in a lot of ways. She seems pretty young (from her teeth vet thought about a year?) -- she is still playful off & on during the day, her prey drive is strong. She was hunting squirrels and birds outdoors to live on before we took her in, so I think she really misses that, and she's an indoor kitty now. 
I was thinking a buddy she could stalk and play with might help to reduce the boredom and lack of outdoors. I'll keep you posted as to what we decide to do, I like the idea of a more passive younger cat.


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## tezster (Jun 4, 2013)

In many ways, your cat sounds very similar to one of mine, Newt... adopted from outdoors, had a litter of kittens before she was spayed, on the smaller side, and generally speaking, a very well-behaved, quiet cat, aside from her outdoor/door-dashing tendencies.

I would definitely agree that any companion of hers should possess the same calm demeanor. Newt's 'buddy' is one of her kittens, who is (now) bigger than her, and definitely more aggressive. If I had to pick and choose, he definitely isn't the type I would've paired with her. Having said that, they get along most of the time.


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## Bill the Cat Guy (Dec 25, 2013)

I've heard that a female cat will get along better with a male than with another female.

I'd get a male cat that's two years old or less.

We have two boy cats. They don't snuggle together but they do chase each other around during the day. They seem to be playing "tag".


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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

I just thought I would update the situation -- we stopped by our local humane society and checked out kitties. . .many very friendly, outgoing ones, no very young kittens (they said it's not "kitten season" yet). 
The girl in charge of cats suggested a youngish cat, similar in age to ours, not a really small kitten. The one that caught our attention was "Spider", and young male around 7 months old, small, quiet, and a bit shy. She said he gets a little rattled with new situations and takes awhile to adapt, so he sounds a bit like our Shadow. We have lots of patience, so we'll see how it goes. I think we'll be putting him in a crate for a day or two to allow the cats to smell each other -- we don't really have another room to put him in -- it'll give him a space to feel a bit safe in for a few days at least.


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## BrittyBear (Feb 4, 2014)

I hope all goes well with the intros and they get along well 

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## Heather72754 (Nov 1, 2013)

Congrats on your new family-member-to-be! Here's hoping the two get along well or at least tolerate each other, as sometimes that is all that can be expected. Best case scenario, they will be best buddies.

I would suggest the bathroom though, rather than a crate unless it is very large. Your new cat will likely feel exposed even in a crate and it would be good if he had his own space with a door that can be closed, especially since he tends to be a bit on the shy side it sounds like.


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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

here's an update on the situation. . .

I adopted "Spider" at the humane society yesterday. He's about 7 months old, male, neutered of course, sort of a tabby but very unique coat. He's a combination of marbled & striped, black over reddish brown & buff, beautiful young guy. He was brought in as a stray with litter mates, they didn't "make it" unfortunately, apparently they weren't social enough to adopt out. They were on the line with Spider, he's quite shy, a little timid, but very sweet. When they put me in a room with him, I didn't expect him to approach me, a stranger, in new circumstances. 
But after sniffing the room, he came up to me, and spent a lot of time head butting & nuzzling my hand and enjoying lots of pets, even purred a bit. 
So, brought him home, and decided against the crate, I put him in our music equipment room (Shadow sleeps there in a bed, but she has 3 beds & sleeps in several rooms), where he immediately found a hiding place and stayed there. 
Shadow did some staring at the door from the other side, but not much else.
This morning Spider came out for food, and enjoyed some petting, much to my relief, and I fed Shadow on the other side of the door. I've heard a couple of meows, not sure from which cat up there, and heard one scuffle/scramble, not sure if someone rushed the door or scrambled away from it. 
So here's hoping -- if Shadow had seemed contented, I would've been very happy with one cat, but I can tell this spring that something's missing for her, not getting to go out and hunt -- one thing I can say is, right now going outside is the last thing on her mind ;-)
Thanks for all the help, I'll let you know how it goes. I think I'd better keep the door closed to that room for a few days. . .


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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

one thing I'm curious about -- should I wait until they both seem calm and almost uninterested about the situation before I allow them to meet? Right now Shadow acts like she'd just love to get to the other side of that door. Her fur might be a tad raised.


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## Heather72754 (Nov 1, 2013)

Your next step is to place baby gates stacked one on top of the other in the doorway. I used two gates, which was enough to discourage my resident cat/cats from climbing over but with a really determined climber you might still have to supervise closely or use another gate. This way they can see each other but not get into any scuffles if they were so inclined. Feed them both at the same time on either side of the gate, give them treats, play with them with a wand toy, do all positive interactions so Shadow will associate Spider with good things and vice versa. Once they can lay and sit calmly closely on either side of the gate and neither seems to be expressing fear or aggression, then I would try a face to face. It wouldn't hurt to do some room swapping either at some point - let Spider out into a larger area of the house if he seems ready and put Shadow in the music room so Spider can explore and feel a little more comfortable without worrying about Shadow, and Shadow can sniff everything that Spider touched up close and personal lol.


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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

sounds great. I think some of the initial intensity has passed. Shadow tries to get into the room when we go in, and spends a lot of time sitting outside the door. No hissing, growling at all. This morning I think I heard a few "prroowws" from her, usually she wakes me with that sound, but she was in the hallway & maybe at "the Door". 
wonderful note about Spider -- he should have been named Loverboy, super affectionate and was in husband's lap yesterday, just a wonderful disposition. My husband just thought there was something special about him at the shelter, yet he was the shyest cat there.


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## blondie1483 (Jan 19, 2011)

I'm super excited to read this story! Subscribing .. this sounds wonderful and eventually I want to get a companion for my singleton.


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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

update 4-18-14. . .
Shadow and Spider were both very interested (on their sides of the Door), and meowed a bit, so yesterday I opened the door just a crack so they could see each other. 
Then a flurry of hissing & spitting. . .I had quite a time getting the door shut, not quite sure what Spider was doing but Shadow had her nose in the crack and was determined to get in there! My timid little tabby turned into a Kentucky wildcat. . .so back to feeding them on respective sides of the Door. 
It's tricky because they are both determined to either get in (Shadow) or get out (Spider). 
good news is, my husband Robin loves Spider and he's very committed to do whatever. since he's fallen in love with Spider there's no taking him back to the shelter, so we're going to work things out one way or the other. also good news, Shadow isn't much of a jumper/vertical cat, and Spider seems to be, so I think we can arrange the house so he'll have escape routes in the future. I'm not sure where the aggression is exactly, but I'm guessing my girl is just being territorial. 
I don't know who posted the link or where from the cat guy about introducing cats, but I like and plan to use a lot of what he says. . .I'll tell more when there's more to tell of the ongoing saga of Shadow and Spidey. 
here's that link: (the guy is Jackson Galaxy from the tv show)
Cat-to-Cat Introductions | Jackson Galaxy


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## Heather72754 (Nov 1, 2013)

The baby gates I suggested will really help with this. They will be able to get used to the sight and more intense smell of each other without the possibility of fighting and getting hurt, and you won't have to worry about trying to get the door closed if things go sideways. It really helped me with introducing my cats that I got in October and December to my resident 8 yr-old cat.


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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

update 4-19-2014:
Pretty good news I think!
We got a cheap ($19)screen door at Home Depot & reinforced the bottom with chicken wire, put a couple of eyehooks on it. It fits the doorframe perfectly. 
We propped the solid door open & put the screen door in place, and waited. Shadow came to investigate. . .the cats saw each other and looked for a moment. . .Spider approached timidly, and Shadow hissed & spat for a second, but stopped and just crouched. Spider backed off. . then they just sat there for awhile. We talked softly to them off & on. 
The intensity seemed to drain out of the situation. Spider acted like he wanted to be friends, and approached once or twice, but when getting close Shadow hissed a little and he backed off again. He made little kittenish sounds, and she made a few vocalizations, a mrrwoow? kind of sound. And a few more intense, "I'm stressed" kind of meows. I think Spider would love be to friends, but she doesn't quite know what to make of it. . .I don't know that she's ever been around other cats,when she was feral/stray, other than a male to mate with or her litter. After a while she lost interest and came back downstairs to sleep. 
I think eventually she may warm up to Spider, and at least they won't confront each other, at least not if he can get away. He seems submissive to her. 
I'll post as the story continues..


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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

just wanted to say thanks Heather, the babygate/screen door idea is great, so glad we tried it!


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## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

Glad things are working.out, do you have a picture of Sprider?!


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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

no, I'll get one up in the next day or two! My gosh he's beautiful. 
update 4-20-14 (Happy Easter all)
not much sleep last night for the feline talking going on. Spider was meowing plaintive kitten meows, and Shadow went in and talked back, back and forth, on & off. She was Prrrowwing (with a lift at the end). ???? 
I don't know if Spider was sounding kittenish enough to elicit a motherly reaction, (Shadow kitten calling?), or if the fact that he's a male (neutered April 7th) is getting a female in heat reaction (she was spayed last October). Our vet said sometimes they can act like they're in heat but it's just behavioural when they're spayed. (she's not assuming a heat position or anything like that).
I'm guessing Shadow hasn't had much if any interaction with other cats (other than breeding, a litter, and avoidance) so she may be confused -- it'll be interesting to see how she sorts it out in her furry little mind.
One thing for sure, if we hadn't done the separation method, I think they'd have had a pretty good dust up, so I'm glad we're taking our time. 
One hint on the screen door thing -- as I said, we reinforced it with chicken wire at the bottom, and used 4 hook & eye things to attach it to the doorframe at the bottom and midway up. I found out today I needed to also attach it at the top so it doesn't lean out up there. Cheaper than baby gates, but baby gates wouldn't mess up your door trim ;-)


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## Heather72754 (Nov 1, 2013)

Jhouse said:


> just wanted to say thanks Heather, the babygate/screen door idea is great, so glad we tried it!


You're very welcome, so glad things seem to be working out well so far! Can't wait to see a picture of Spider. :smile:


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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

update:
4 23 14
all these updates might seem like overkill, but I think there's at least one person following this thread since they're interested in also getting a second cat -- so maybe the information is helpful. I will get a video or pic up soon!
I will say that this procedure is quite a commitment, and as my vet tech told me yesterday, the slower the better. 
Not sure what the nighttime vocalizations were about, but in the last day or two, Shadow has rushed at the door a few times and backed Spider off. . .but there have been quite a few times where they just hang out, a yard or two from each other with no problem. Spider is eager to be friends I think, Shadow is trying to figure things out. 
The "intensity" is less and less, and when they lock eyes I distract Shadow a bit by talking to her, petting etc before it gets to the "back off" point, though I can't be there all the time. 
Spider cries at night -- literally like a baby, I need to video that and post it! -- and husband let him sleep in his room last night, and Spider was much happier, he just wants to be with people. Everybody got sleep. Shadow seems to need more attention and petting, which she does get ;-)
Spider had his first vet trip yesterday, other than a little conjunctivitis he's healthy & got his shots. 
You all had really great advice, and I knew from your comments this might be a lengthy process, so that prepared us -- the overall progress is good, this morning Shadow walked up almost nose to nose with Spider and no hissing or spitting. . .I think it will work out in the end!


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## blondie1483 (Jan 19, 2011)

Hey there - knowing that I'm "that person" who's following this post for the second-cat possibility, I'm quite grateful! Things sound like they're going along much better. Quite a role model, you are!


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## BrittyBear (Feb 4, 2014)

I'm happy things are working out!!!  thanks for the update! I cant wait for pics ^_^

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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

cat







pics are harder than I thought! these aren't the best (sorry for the background) but at least you get the idea. Spider is much prettier in person!


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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

one of Spider's coat:


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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

and Shadow my girl, doing the best she can to figure this out:


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## Heather72754 (Nov 1, 2013)

Aww, Spider is gorgeous! And Shadow is too - here's hoping for the best for them to get along. You're certainly being patient and doing all the right things.


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## jking (Feb 22, 2014)

Spider is a very handsome boy! And Shadow is beautiful! You are doing a wonderful job introducing them to each other. 
Like Heather said, you are doing everything right.


Judy


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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)




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## BrittyBear (Feb 4, 2014)

Aww theyre both so pretty! Thank you for the pics ^_^

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## Jhouse (Sep 27, 2013)

update 4-30-14

Well. . .some things good, some not so much. We let Spider out of his "confinement" about a week ago -- there was a gap towards the top of the screen door/door frame, and he was figuring out how to climb up the screen and try to escape. I was afraid he might get his head in there, fall, and hang himself! He was pretty intent on getting out. 
We had allowed him access to the whole house a few times, while confining Shadow. 
So this is how things are going so far, in a nutshell:
a few hisses/swipes (which we expected), which is still intermittently (once or twice a day) going on. It never lasts for more than 1 or 2 seconds, usually Shadow smacking Spider. It seems to happen if he gets too close, or too rambunctous, he's a bundle of energy and she's not. 
It seems to me that Spider doesn't have a clue about cat etiquette and might be breaking some rules, he'll walk right up to Shadow, or sniff her from behind, or surprise her, get on furniture above her very close. . I don't really know cat rules, but I think she's schooling him. Most of her claws are trimmed a bit, so I don't think there's any damage being done. 
I think I might be part of the equation, sometimes one cat will be in my lap and the other will want attention (Shadow, being ex-feral/stray, had just recently learned to enjoy laps). I'm not sure how I should be handling things when I'm part of the group, I just try to give them both attention and talk gently, and let them work it out.
I think things will improve, sometimes they touch noses (initiated by Shadow), and nothing happens, sometimes they both sleep on the couch or hang out in the same area with no problem. I think Shadow will settle down, she may still be a little fearful. 
Spider is now happy-go-lucky and irrepressible, he just wants to be friends and doesn't seem to hold the little tiffs against her. He will back up a bit and freeze, but not run, and she doesn't chase or press the issue, which I think is also good. 
So time will tell -- I'll post later if there's any changes.


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## BrittyBear (Feb 4, 2014)

I think thats pretty good imo xD when we got Ashes, Shadow used to full out attack him. Then it switched to Ashes full on attacking Shadow after a few months. They're just starting to chill out after nearly a year. So a few smacks from your Shadow every now and then is pretty good compared to what we had here xD and Spider seems to be learning. And them laying together is really good. Thanks for the update 

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