# Aggressive Behavior - 6 Months Old



## Msmilove06 (Mar 13, 2008)

Hello, I'm new to the forums and came sort of as an act of desperation.

My (kitten?) Abbey is only about 6 months old, but she's extremely mean.. I got her in October and have meant for her to be an indoor cat only, as my parents have a male (neutered) cat as well who roams freely outside. Also Abbey hasn't been spayed yet and I'd rather not have her getting pregnant. 

Anyways, she's been aggressive ever since I can remember..short of being teeny tiny when I first brought her home. When we first introduced her to my parent's boxer Phoebe, Abbey's hair would stand on end and she would fluff her tail up and growl and run at the dog. The dog just put up with it and Abbey kept right on tormenting her. She didn't just do this to the dog though, she would run around the house like this, hair on end and making growling noises and such. We thought it was funny at first because we had never saw a cat act so strange. I loved her for being her crazy, unnatural self. 

Now that she's a bit older, she's still just as strange. My boyfriend's family has had many cats and he says that he's never had a cat as vocal as her. She just plays and purrs or growls, or yowls or meows to herself. She'll answer to you saying her name or reply if you look at her and say something. I love her to death but she has anger issues. She's usually fine around my boyfriend and I, but she doesn't care much for my mom or dad. Abbey is basically a permanant shoulder attachment for me. She LOVES being carried and is content to flop over my shoulder and observe as I toat her around wherever I go. As I said, she really has no problem with me, but I'll be holding her and my mom will start to pet her or scratch her ears and Abbey will attack my moms hand, using claws and biting and making this horrible deep throated glutteral growl. It's scary to hear these horrible noises coming from this cute little kitten. 

After this happens, she doesn't want anyone petting her. She attacks my hand as well if I try to pet her or console her. My mom says its not normal and thinks that theres something wrong with her, or in her own words, "She's evil". I don't understand why she acts this way, no one is trying to hurt her or be mean to her, she just won't have any of it. Some days my mom cat get away with petting her, especially when Abbey just wakes up from a nap and she's really sweet and docile. Other than that, she will literally try to tear your hand off for touching her.

Today was really the turning point and my reason for coming here to ask for help. Abbey managed to squeeze herself out of my window (a 3 inch crack) and jump onto the roof. My mom called my boyfriend and I while we were out to let us know, so we came home to find out that my mom had gotten her hands tore up getting Abbey inside, only to have Abbey run downstairs and out the open front door. Well my boyfriend and I looked for her and found her hiding under our RV a ways up from the house. He managed to shoo her out from under it only to have her run down under the porch to hide. While we were trying to get her out, my parent's cat Caesar was sitting on top of the porch watching us, he would follow us to each end of the porch as we followed her back and forth. Well my boyfriend finally cornered Abbey and tried to grab her to take her back inside. This was not the brightest idea as she flipped out, hissing, clawing, biting, yowling and spitting at him. At this point Caesar (at least two times the size of Abbey) jumped down and began attacking her, throwing himself at her, hissing and clawing her. Abbey acted even more wild and tore herself out of my boyfriend's hands in order to get away, only to be chased by both Caesar and my parent's dog Phoebe. I was extremely angry at my mom as she said that Abbey needed to get beat up on by Caesar, and that it wasn't Phoebe's fault for chasing Abbey off into the woods. I looked for Abbey for about 20min and eventually found her under the RV again, but she hissed and swatted at me everytime I got too close to her. I know she was just scared and was afraid to come out, but my mom still believes that she's just mean and think's I should get rid of her. I really love her and think she's getting the short end of the stick, as I don't blame her at all for attacking my boyfriend when she was being attacked by Caesar. 

I don't really know what else to say, my mom wants me to call the Vet and find some sort of medication to put her on to calm her down. I want to know why she's acting like this and how I can fix it if at all possible. She's not evil..she's really sweet and loving, but she does seem to hate other people touching her and she does act crazy. She thinks it's okay to bite and growl and still does it even when we punish her, she just doesn't care. Sorry for such a long post, I just wanted to include everything that could possibly help you understand what I'm talking about. Please give me your opinions and/or advice, it will be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for your time, and thank you in advance.

-Haley


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Wow.
Your kitten seems like she didn't learn the boundaries of play while growing up with you and your family. Stop feeding her hands to chew and play with interactive toys that keep people's skin at a distance from her teeth and claws. If Abby doesn't like other people touching her, they should stop trying to touch her.
Window shouldn't have been cracked that far and certainly the door shouldn't have been open, especially for a 6mo un-spayed kitty, because many 6mo kittens begin coiming into season. Get her spayed asap. Then wait awhile before giving her any pills.

Under the porch, the other cat attacked her because she was acting scared and aggressive. Certainly didn't do anything to improve her situation. As to someone grabbing a cat known to be 'aggressive', and to do so when it was scared...well, I hope you put bandaids on him. It was nice he tried to catch her and get her inside, but probably not the smartest move he could have made.

Anyhow, try spaying her, playing with her from a distance so she learns hands aren't to bite, they are for loving. Maybe allow family members to feed her small treats to get her used to them being near, but don't try to touch/pet right away.
Sorry for the frustration you are feeling about how your family is acting towards Abby. She IS getting the short end of the stick.
heidi


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## Msmilove06 (Mar 13, 2008)

Thank you so much for replying Heidi, I'm going to go out to the store tonight and get her some different toys to play with. She loves to play fetch with her little rattle balls, but she'll grab your hand as well. I'll have to stich up my boyfriend's hands later as he is gone for now :wink: I know she can be a mean little hairball sometimes, but no one seems to realize that she really is a little sweetheart. Hopefully after trying what you suggested everyone else will realize that they were wrong about her. Again, thank you so much.


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## mstx (Mar 4, 2008)

Hmmm... I agree with Heidi, let her know that hands arent toys and if she bits try a water bottle.


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## Msmilove06 (Mar 13, 2008)

We have been using a water bottle for a while now, but she loves water :? You squirt her and she just licks it off, and continues what she's doing. My boyfriend spanks her to punish her, it's at the point now where she'll obey him, out of fear or respect.. but she still thinks she can get away with it with me. The second he moves, she goes flying under the bed, but as soon as he sits back down she's back out doing the same thing again. *shrugs*


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

It sounds as if she was very young when you got her. If she was under 10 weeks or so, it would have been up to you to teach her boundaries and it doesn't sound like that happened. So I agree with the idea of teaching her to play with interactive toys and not hands.

Spanking her is a big no no. All she sees is a person being aggressive with her, she will either be aggressive back or live in fear. No way to raise a kitten. When she misbehaves she needs to be given time outs. That can take the form of ignoring her for a while or actually putting her in a separate room by herself.

No one can blame her for her response when she got out. Here were these people trying to catch her, one of them being a person who spanks her, 2 other animals attacking her and the stress of being out in the big world where she had never been. No wonder she was freaked out.


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## nanook (Jun 12, 2005)

First off, she needs to be spayed or she will find any way she can to get out. It's no surprise at all that she behaved the way she did when she escaped. Even the nicest, gentlest cat in the world would have done the same. She was terrified!
I agree with all the above. Your kitty sounds like a perfectly normal cat who hasn't been socialized. Cats don't automatically know that biting isn't okay. Hey, if you had fur, it probably wouldn't be a problem.
Two things I wanted to add. First I wanted to emphasise what doodlebug said, your boyfriend must stop spanking the cat. That's an excellent way to make them fearful and aggressive. Besides, in her mind, she isn't doing anything wrong so she has absolutely no idea why she's being hit. 
And second, I just wanted to add about the biting. As others said, don't let her use hands as a toy but, if she does manage to chomp on you, instead of pulling away, gently press your hand (or whatever she's got hold of) towards her mouth. I know it's not your natural reflex but it's very effective. It confuses the heck out of them and ruins the game of catch the mousie. Every time you pull away it's a fun game for her. Believe it or not, it will not hurt either like it does when you pull back.
You just need to give her tons of interactive playtime (with toys!) and a lot of patience and understanding. She sounds like a very active, playful kitten who just needs to be kindly taught what's not okay.
Enjoy her!
Oh, one more thing. Body language! With your Mom, or others that she is a little cranky with, ask them to watch her closely. If they are petting her and notice her tail start to twitch or her ears go back or she seems tense, they should immediately stop petting her. She may be getting a bit over stimulated and it's best to try to stop petting BEFORE she reacts. They'll probably find that, overtime, she will start tolerating more and more petting.


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## Msmilove06 (Mar 13, 2008)

Thank you both for replying, I actually got Abbey when she was six weeks old from a newspaper ad for free kittens. The owner had said he wanted them gone before they got too much older or it was off to the pound and that was not happening. I didn't realize that 6 weeks was too young to be brought home, but from reading around the forum ive heard that it is definitly not the ideal age. I will try the hand thing out, usually I do exactly as you said, trying to pull my hand away and she'll just hang on tighter and kick with her back legs. I hadn't really thought of it as a game for her  but it does make sense because she sure loves doing that lol. I'll also try doing the time-outs as that's never really happened before either. We have ignored her but she goes and starts knocking a ball around for fun, not really learning anything. I wanted her to understand that biting isn't okay but I didn't know of a good punishment short of hitting her, which I don't want because It would be horrible for her to distrust or end up afraid of me. We say "NO!" and she still keeps at whatever she is doing wrong. I'll just have to try leaving her in our bathroom for a while and see if that helps out. :wink: As for the spanking, I'll make sure it doesn't keep happening. I'll just start giving both of them rewards for good behavior, maybe some bonding will happen in the process hehe.  I'm going to be taking her to the vet on one my days off this month and having her fixed. I didn't want her having it done too young, but she's come into heat several times already and I have to say the yowling all day is extremely annoying lol. So again, thank you both very much, everyone in fact. I'll be sure to take all of the advice given and we'll see if this doesn't help.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

I wanted to comment that the time out isn't to punish her, it is to re-direct her behavior or energy. If she gets too bite-y, give her a toy to play with. If she wants to rabbit kick, toss her a larger stuffed animal toy to bite and rabbit kick. 
You cannot change her inherent instincts for play behavior, but you can modify it so she plays with acceptable items and not injure people.

I had to give Curly a time out yesterday. Hubby and I had layed down for a short snooze and Curly kept wanting to play with the other kitties. BUT, the kitty he wanted to play with does NOT like him. She doesn't see him as a big-kitten just wanting to play, she sees him as being aggressive, so she runs, he chases and she yowls bloody murder when he catches or corners her. I tried to re-direct him a few times and he didn't get the hint so I picked him up and put him in the bathroom with several soft toys until after our nap.


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## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

Welcome to the forum, Haley! Reading your post was all too familiar. I've got one just like yours...he'll be 5 years this summer and I've had him since he was 6 weeks. My vet told me he could just have a wild gene in him which is why he acts the way he does....Finally, about a year ago, I switched vets and they put Oliver on Diazapham (sp?) which is a muscle relaxer. These meds are a god send!! I was hesitent at first but really glad I decided to go ahead with the meds. It might be worth looking into.

As far as how she acted when she escaped outside, that's pretty typical of a very frighted cat. I wouldn't let this bother you too much. And try to reiterate the same to those who were involved. 

Also, some cats are really just "one person" cats....they don't like anyone but a few people or even just one. 

I agree that you should get her fixed also.

Keep us posted and post some pics of this little rascal! :lol:


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## vilate (Jan 31, 2008)

Poor kitty! Sounds like you've gotten some wonderful advice already.

Be sure to try and help your mother understand that your kitty isn't evil - every cat has their own personality and while yours isn't socialized well, she also just might not like other people.

Cats, like other animals, can also pick up on attitudes of the people around them. If she can sense how your mother feels, she may not be inclined to allow your mother to pet her much. It's important that you all understand that some cats are just like that and to give them space when they want it, which may be all the time.

My sister's poor cat hasn't had the easiest time because of my sister's personality and inability to understand cat behaviour. There has been anger, aggression and even spanking on the part of my sister and her kitty has never been able to get over the fear of most other people.

So, to add to the good advice you've gotten, study up as much as you can on all things kitteh. And remember (and try to help your family remember) that cats are just as individual as humans.

You've already done a good thing by posting to this forum. I've gotten tons of help with my baby and I might've gone crazy a long time ago if I hadn't had it! Use this resource as much as possible and you'll go a long way towards understanding your baby.


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