# Can anyone give some advice on handling my feral cat??



## lilyb (Dec 21, 2008)

Hello

I'm new to this forum and the main reason i joined was to see if I could get some ideas on how to get my formerly feral cat to let me touch her. 

She's a lovely girl - she loves being in the same room as me and seems happy around me (slow blinking etc) and is generally happy in herself - playing with the christmas tree just now!! However as soon as i get "too" near she runs away. She'll take chicken from my hand and I once managed to stroke her paw without her scarpering when she was lying in her bed. Is it just a case of being patient or is there anything i can do to help her know that I won't hurt her?

Thanks

Lx


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## Auntie Crazy (Dec 10, 2006)

Patience, in my (very limited) experience, is the key. Feed her from your fingers whenever you can and play with her a lot - this'll help bond her to you.

Keep in mind, however, that some cats aren't meant to be lap cats or even in-your-face-friendly cats.


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

Interactive toys are very helpful too. 

Since she trusts you, try this. It worked for me. I put her food in a bowl on my lap, and pet her while she ate. If she hissed, I removed the food. Then I'd put it back on my lap, and pet her again until she hissed. I kept repeating this until she decided that food was worth get petted for! And then she decided she liked the petting also. 

She was always a sensitive cat, however. She loved the petting so much she drooled, but suddenly she'd lash out and scratch. A vet told me that sometimes we hit a spot or triggered a reaction that so sensitive that scratching was automatic, much like us when we have a spot so itchy we can't stand it. He did not say it was an itch, however. We learned, no matter how much she purred and drooled, to stop in time! Good luck.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Almost all of our cats came to us as ferals (the adults) and took more time to tame and gain their trust as opposed to kittens. Patience and consistency is key, always be reliable. Not like being 'on time' but as in she can rely on you and your actions. Food is also a great motivator! 

My secret weapon:
Cooked, shredded chicken mixed with an undilited (no water or milk, or maybe just a little milk) can of Cream of Chicken Soup. Make sure the chicken pieces are small, kitty-sized bites and the CofCSoup helps the chicken bits stick to your fingers for hand feeding.

Almost all of my adult cats were tamed OUTSIDE before they were allowed inside, so the process took longer than it did with kittens. Malibu took 5mo from trapping/spaying to letting me touch her and Pretty took 14mo from trap/spay to touch. Both are now happy indoor/outdoor (mostly indoor) cats.
With your kitty inside, I think I'd start pushing her comfort boundaries; sitting next to her at all of her meals. Make sure she has specific meal times, or a specific time for canned food and/or treats. Try my chicken trick, I've NEVER had a cat refuse chicken. Begin by sitting near her and push closer each time until you are touching her. Advance/retreat. You need to advance to make progress, but you need to retreat before you've reached her maximum tolerance level. 

To get cats used to being handled/picked up, I begin by picking them up from the floor and placing them immediately on a low surface (coffee table, couch, chair). I can feel them struggling to get down/away but I just hold them firmly as I lift them and place them where I want. It is a direct lift: floor to chair. Then I ignore the cat. I don't look at it to see how it is reacting, I just do it, it is matter of fact, then it is done and "no big deal". As I progress, I hold them in the 'lift' for incrementally longer periods before setting them on the surface. 

Sometimes I put them on my lap and will hold them by their scruff and scrubble/pet with the other hand. Again: "No big deal". Then I will set the cat away from me and ignore it. I don't want the cats scooting away from me fearfully, but I want them to know I was holding them and I set them loose again. When I am handling them, as soon as I feel the cat relaxing even a little, I loosen the scruff hold and scrubble their neck to 'remove the memory' of the hold and let them leave my attention/lap as they wish. No big deal and I don't keep looking at them to judge their reaction. 

I want them to learn I will handle them and let them go, I will not keep them against their will forever. The signal I am looking for when handling them is small signs of relaxation and I try to reward that by lowering my handling intensity.
Best of luck,
Heidi


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

That is not the method approved by behavior experts. The cat should make the decisions, in most cases. Forcing attention on the cat might work for some, but is not recommended.



> First Contact with your Adult Feral
> For the first 2 or 3 days, restrict your visits to feeding and cleaning times to reduce stress until the cat adapts to its (edit) environment. After that, build up the amount of time spent in the same room with the cat over a period of days. When in the room, talk constantly and softly, even if you are simply reading a book out loud. It must get used to your presence. If possible leave a tape recording of your voice playing when you are not in there; if this isn't possible leave a radio tuned to a news station (at low volume) in the room. When re-socializing fearful adults, I use the room as my TV viewing room or reading room.
> 
> If the cat shows any curiosity (most will probably be too scared) offer tidbits to get it to trust you. If possible, eat some of your meals in there, preferably containing food it would like and make sure you have some tidbits if it shows interest. Table scraps are not generally recommended, but used in small amounts they are good bribes in these circumstances. I usually cook a separate portion of meat/fish to give as a tidbit, since some meal ingredients are toxic to cats.
> ...


 MuttCats.com 

The entire article, which includes all aspects of taming a feral and acclimating it to your home is a sticky at the top of this page. This method is also approved by Dr. Jean Holve's partner, a behavior expert. The important thing is that _the cat should make all of the decisions, and do every step at its own pace._

This method was developed by behaviorists. My last post was about a tamed cat who had been bullied and did not come out of hiding except to come in my bedroom window for food. I tried to help her get used to human touch again, and fortunately, it worked. Your cat might fit that mold. If not, try the behaviorists' method of taming a feral cat. The article is well worth reading, despite its length. 

This link is from Little Cat Big Cat, a site composed by Dr. Jean Holve, veterinarian and her partner, the behaviorist, Jackson Galaxy. There are free articles concerning many health and behavior problems cats have.

http://www.littlebigcat.com/index.php?action=whoweare

http://www.littlebigcat.com/index.php?action=whoweare


And tips from another expert:



> 1.Think like a Feral Cat. Allow her to be scared. Reset your clock to her needs.
> 2.First things first – a trip to the vet. Have your vet check for worms and parasites (fleas and ticks), test for FeLV and FIV, ringworm and lice. Spay or neuter as soon as possible.
> 3.Prepare your home: a dark room that is fully cat-proofed, with hiding places, food, water, toys, two litterboxes filled with organic-only potting soil, and articles of your clothing bearing your scent and placed in appropriate places around the room.
> 4.Release her into the prepared room and leave her alone for 24 hours.
> ...


http://www.straypetadvocacy.org/html/so ... l_cat.html

I wish you the best.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Jeanie said:


> That is not the method approved by behavior experts.


Surely you could have been more diplomatic and less...abrupt...towards me. :roll: 

Because every step that I outlined I found in the information you posted, so it looks like the experts and I actually are in agreement. The only difference between your experts' excerpts and my own post? I did not begin my (_and may I point out: my very abbreviated_) outline of what I do relating it to a completely feral cat (_like my Pretty and Malibu were_) and instead tailored it to her description of a "formerly feral" cat and the things she could try. 

NONE of the things I detailed are things I would ever try with a completely feral cat who has had no human contact, which is what your two examples detailed. I worked long and hard to get Mallie and Pretty to the points of handling I described, and I did so without the benefit of having the cat contained in a house or a room. They were both outside cats and I did state how long both took me to achieve just that first touch. It was weeks/months (_and in Pretty's case, a year_) after that first touch before I could push physical handling with either of them. Because of our outdoor setting, everything is dictated by the cat's acceptance and there is no way I could proceed without the cat's approval.

I shared what procedures worked for me. Certainly a person needs to do it at the cat's speed, but you do need to make progress while you listen to what the cat can tolerate.
I will say again:
"Advance/retreat. You need to advance to make progress, but you need to retreat before you've reached her maximum tolerance level."

Worked for me and Flash, Inky, Bonnie, The Wanderer, Blaze, Tiger, Oscar, TonyHawk, TiggerThreeToes, Tabby, Tess, Daisy, Dagger, Diego, Todd, Malibu, Shadow, CalicoBob, Toddson, Cheetah, Lilly, Domingo, Winston, Pretty, Dusty, LuckyDuck and is continuing to work with Bella and Luna. I have been lucky that I have not yet failed in an attempt to tame a feral. So, while I haven't yet met my match, _and I'm sure I will at some point_, surely I'm doing something right to have such success with my ferals?

Lilyb, good luck with whatever methods you try with your kitty. I wish you both success and the best of everything. I'm sure you will find a way that works for you both, suited for both your cat's temperament and your willingness to try.
Heidi


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## Auntie Crazy (Dec 10, 2006)

Heidi has helped me a great deal with my four foster feral kittens. Go at the cat's pace, but each time the cat becomes comfortable with a certain level of handling, do push a tiny little bit to help bring her to the next comfort level.

The very best of luck to you! It's a beautiful thing when a feral kitty comes over to the light side.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Lilyb, I wanted to ask you to keep us posted about your progress and challenges with Honey (I saw her pic on the Orange Cats thread, she is a beauty!) because by sharing what worked for you and her, and how she reacted (both good and bad) could help other CF members who need help with their kitty getting used to handling.
Heidi


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

One other possible thing you could try is a Spirit Essence product called Feral Rehabilitation.

http://www.spiritessence.com/?action=product&act=view&id=70









A friend of mine has started using the Spirit Essence Products and had good results.

I saw your sweet orange kitty on the Orange cat thread. Very cute girl!

Were glad you have joined CF. Youll find alot of information here to help you!


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## lilyb (Dec 21, 2008)

Wow - thanks to everyone for your very helpful responses. Definitely loads of great ideas here to try :luv 

She does love her chicken so will get some cream of chicken soup and try that magic formula too. 

At the moment I'm also giving her 1x75mg capsule of zylkene every day. She seems a bit more chilled out but then that might just have happened anyway. Does anyone have any experience of using feliway? I thought i may order the diffuser if it would help. 

The spirit essence product looks great - I'm in the UK so it might be quite expensive to get it shipped but if I don't have any success in my local natural remedy shop I may still order it and take the hit for shipping from the States. 

Thanks again for all your help. I'll keep you updated on my progresss.

Lx


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

Ive used the spray Feliway. I havent tried the outlet one because you have to have one for every room which can be alot of $. I use it on cats we trap when they come in to their kennel. Im not sure if it really works or not. 

Spirit Essence show the ingrediences in each formula. You might see whats in it and see if there is a company in UK that has the same things in it. Do they sell Bach Rescue Remedy there? They have some good products too.


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## lilyb (Dec 21, 2008)

Yes we do have the Bach rescue remedies here. 

Have printed out the list of ingredients and will go into the homeopathy shop asap (either today or after christmas depending on how i soon i manage to finish my work today!!! :lol: ).

She's really getting a lot better since i first got her but if there's anything that can help her chill out it would be really great. It makes me so sad to see her panic if someone gets to close to her  

I've got quite a small apartment (under 500 sqft in total) so 1/2 diffusers may be ok.

Thanks again for your advice


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

You said you give her a capsule...are you physically giving it to her or is it just a capsule you open and sprinkle the contents over her food?
I will comment about the two photos you posted of her...she appeared to me to be watching you and did not seem 100% comfortable. Is she like that all the time? (tense and watchful) or was that just her expression in those 2 particular photos? It was just something about her eyes, the tilt of her head and ears or maybe even how she held her body.* You say she does like to be in the same room as you, does she relax around you? 

*OR...it is just my having looked at her pics after reading about how you wish to get closer to her and I put those 'observations' in my head after having read your difficulty.


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

lilyb said:


> Yes we do have the Bach rescue remedies here.
> 
> Have printed out the list of ingredients and will go into the homeopathy shop asap (either today or after christmas depending on how i soon i manage to finish my work today!!! :lol: ).
> 
> ...


She'll come around. You have a connection with her. You are asking all the right questions. I know cats sense our devotion and love for them. They pick up on our energy.

Some ferals my TNR group has helped, I know knew we were trying to help them and responded with the most trust they could give at the moment.


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## lilyb (Dec 21, 2008)

It's a capsule of powder that you mix into her food. (http://www.buyzylkene.co.uk/) Think that was out in the States before it came over here this summer. 

She does seem to want to be around me as when i get home from work she'll always come and sit with me in the sitting room (even after i've put her food out for her in the boxroom!!). Those are both quite old photos (maybe 2 months) and honestly think it's the crazy green anti red eye light on my camera that she doesn't like. 

Here are a couple of more recent ones (apologies for horrifically messy room!!!!) - I don't think she's too afraid of me anymore - what are your thoughts?? She even flopped on the floor the other day and was rolling about etc which was a 1st so she is definitely relaxing! Got a fab photo of her lazing in the hallway but is on my phone and don't seem to be able to get it off - need to hunt for the cable!

Lx


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Oh! I love the one of her in the drawer! 

I would be willing to bet, that the 'tense' look I thought I was seeing then, was just due to 
her being in a new home with a new person. She definitely looks VERY comfortable in these 
two pictures. ...and for her to flop on the floor and roll around to show you her belly is THE 
HEIGHT of trust! 
It means she feels safe enough to show you her most vulnerable side.

It sounds to me like you will be able to progress with her pretty well. 
h


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## lilyb (Dec 21, 2008)

Hello
Thought I'd give an update on Honey's progress! Brave kitty had all 4 paws on my lap today in order to retrieve the chicken strategically placed on my chest  She was a wee bit shaky but was going up there with gusto in the end. Also managed to touch her ear and the top of her head whilst she was eating some bits off the floor. She flinched and moved away but came straight back. Really pleased - thanks so much for your tips! Was worried that she wouldn't be talking to me as i'd been away for a couple of days visiting my mum over christmas and they have 2 dogs (keeshonds) and 2 cats (a norwegian forest cat an a birman), but obviously my fantastic cat sitter did and great job and Honey was definitely pleased to see me when I got home. Absense makes the heart grow fonder &c. Here's the pic of her showing her belly (managed to move it off my phone by bluetooth). 

Lx


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

Your doing a great job Lx! She is really coming around.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

I agree! GREAT progress! ...to have ALL four feet on your lap, is wonderful. Eventually, she will get past that nervous shaking and be more confident. Then you can push the boundaries again.

I've begun pushing my kittens (5mo old ferals I trapped 7wks ago) by picking them up and holding them to my chest _as I stand fully upright_. Tall and scary for them, but I hold them firmly and then lean down and place them on my bed, petting and ruffling their fur until they relax and realize nothing bad happened and I praise them lavishly for being so 'brave'. I'm also getting the more skittish of the two used to me bending down to kiss her on her head or shoulders. She is fine if I do it quickly; kiss then move my head away, so I am working on laying my head near her while petting and talking to her and we are making progress.


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

Lilyb, great news! You're doing a wonderful job with her!


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## urg (Mar 17, 2009)

premiere cat's suggestion is functional and helpful. rudeness rarely is. if you can, allow the cat to sleep in your bed.


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