# Oliver got on my last nerve



## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

I don't know what to do with this cat. His behavioral problems are beginning to "shine" again. I've had a good 2 (almost) years with him but I only wonder how much more I can take. When I was younger, my parents had a cat of ours put to sleep because he was too mean. That cat was an ANGEL compared to Oliver. I think I need to think about making a decision with Oliver.....he has some chemical imbalance or something because he just isn't right. No one should ever have to be scared of a little cat. This has just gone to far. His behavior is like nothing I've ever seen before. 

Here's what he did tonight...tried to bite my foot and i was going to pick him up and put him in the basement ...no big deal. Well he got a hold of my arm, grabbed on, and did this with his back feet...



















I honestly don't think I can take much more.....I love him dearly but he might be better off put to sleep...


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

Have you looked into medication?

How about a feline behaviorist?

I hope there's something that can help him live a good life.


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## spacemonkey (Aug 12, 2004)

**HUGS**

I know that it's really hard to accept, because we want to do _everything_ within our power for our pets. But some things are out of our control. A chemical balance is not unlikely  You've gone above and beyond what most pet owners would do for their pets, don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty for your decisions. I know *you* know in your heart what's best for Oliver.

I'll be thinking of you.


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## vanillasugar (Nov 11, 2004)

Ouch, Heather that looks so painful! I know you've been through a lot with Oliver... I don't exactley know what to say. I'm sure you'll do the right thing, whatever you decide that is for you and Oliver.


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## spacemonkey (Aug 12, 2004)

How is Oliver acting? Does he seem happy, overall? Or tense? I would imagine that if it were some sort of "imbalance", the world is not a very stable place for him. Does he react defensively, like there is some fear of you in his mind? Or is he acting like you're the bad guy? 

How often does this happen, again?

I'm *not* saying it's your fault *at all*. And I'm not saying that this isn't something that _could_ possibly be treated. But if there really is something going on in his brain that is causing irrational behavior, I wonder if it may be making the world pretty scary for him :?.

Just thinking out loud...


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

Do you think he'd do any better in a one-cat household? Maybe he's just not a social cat and is just too stressed out with the company of the other cats. I don't know anything of what you've been going through with him. But it's not good at all to inflict those kinds of injuries. Sometimes bad behavior is dependent on circumstances and can be changed. But I recognize that sometimes it's just an irredeemable personality defect.

Sorry for you and what you're going through.....


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## spacemonkey (Aug 12, 2004)

It is a one-cat household, though. And the possibility of getting him a playmate was raised before, actually :? But I _think_ those cats are her parents :wink:


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## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

He is in a one cat household right now.


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

OK, I understand. (trying to grasp at _something_)!!


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## AddFran (Jul 10, 2004)

Heather, I don't have any words of wisdom for you, but just wanted to say that we'll support you! I think those of us that have been able to follow Oliver's story can certainly understand the helpless feeling you are experiencing right now.


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## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

Thanks for all your support, guys. I love him so so so so much but people shouldn't have to feel unsafe around him and I'm sure he doesn't want people to feel like he's going to hurt them but then he does because something just isn't right with him. He knows it and I know it. Maybe he wants to be put to sleep, although I know he really likes me and we'd miss eachtoher dearly. It's just such a tough decision. I'm completely confused. My mom already said she'd take him and bring him bcak to their house so he could be burried in the garden with our other cats and rabbits. I feel sick to my stomach just thinking this is how things could end up with my Ollie.


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## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

I don't know what to do. Just held him for 5 mintues while he purred with his head on my shoulder....


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## AddFran (Jul 10, 2004)

The only thing I can think of is trying to medicate him before putting him down. It would be one final attempt - you'd probably feel more secure about your decision down the line if it had to come to this...and then you'd know there aren't any other options for him. 

Then again, you'd have to monitor him on the meds, and I can tell you firsthand, medications can really take their toll on you. My seizure meds kept me walking around like a zombie for months and I can tell you, that is no way to live.


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## zoeae (Feb 21, 2005)

I can offer you no advice on this, but I will be keeping you and oliver in my thoughts, and hope that things will get better for both of you. 

Blessings


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## Twisted (Mar 21, 2005)

Did you ever play with him with your hands or feet as a kitten? Sometimes that can lead to this behavior when you do something they don't want. Just a thought. I haven't been here long so I don't know your whole situation. I really hope you don't have to put him down.


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## Hana (May 29, 2004)

Have you tried that Rescue Remedy with him?
From what I've heard, it REALLY works to calm them down......


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## violina23 (Jun 28, 2004)

> Did you ever play with him with your hands or feet as a kitten? Sometimes that can lead to this behavior when you do something they don't want. Just a thought. I haven't been here long so I don't know your whole situation. I really hope you don't have to put him down.


Unfortunately, even if that is the case, it won't change the current situation for Heather..  


Awww Heather, I feel so awful, I couldnt' imagine the conflict you're feeling right now.

But like everyone else has said, we'll support you no matter what, and be there for e-hugs and help you through whichever way you decide. You love Ollie very much, and we all know you would do anything for him.


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## Lynda J (Sep 8, 2004)

I have had cats all my life with none ever being a problem until Henry and I got married 27 years ago. The first cat we got together was a beautiful black girl. Called her Puss. She was so pretty. But after several months was one of the meanest cats I have ever had. She would attack everyone. Henry had never had cats and when she bit me in the arm and got the vain in the bend of my arm said "she is either gone within 24 hours or I will shoot her" I found a friend that had a big farm. She was spayed. So we took her to their barn. She live there perfectly happy for about 6 years. Then just wasn't there. I can feel for you. And know that any decission you will make will be a hard one. 
I agree that you might try medication but you will have to hold him to give him the meds. So know that you are not alone and you have my support in any decission you end up making. 

HUGS


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## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

Thanks for everyone's support again. He's just a problem cat and that's all there is to it and I don't have the $$$ to fork out on behaviorists and medicines. Here's an update of my arm:






























Then I come home today and he's as lovey dovey as he always is when I'm gone all day. It's not that he doesn't even like to be picked up! He loves it!! He is all purry and insists on rubbing his face on my chin. Here's some pics of that.



















So I think what I'm gonna do is see what happens after a few months. I'm moving to South Carolina in about 6 weeks for about 10 weeks an Oliver is coming with. After that if he gets more aggressive I will have to think about making a decision....


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## Nero the Sable (Oct 28, 2004)

Welcome to SC! :lol: I'm sure you will figure something out for Oliver.

I just realized how big he was! 8O Honestly, my cats get a little scratchy at times too - but when they are big like that they can leave a huge impact.

I hate to suggest this - but if the meds don't work - have you thought of declawing his backfeet too? Then you would only have to worry about his mouth. If it's just his claws then maybe that will help. (I hope no one gets mad at me for saying that).


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## limyer (Nov 19, 2004)

AW I am sorry for what you are having to go through with my favorite CEO! Gosh he really is a BIG Boy! I didnt realize how big until I saw those last pics. He does look like he loves you so and you him. Maybe there will be a solution for you both. I hope so, and will keep you guys in my thoughts.


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## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

Thanks guys. A. Muffins, I think you are the first person on this forum that I've herad suggesting declawing....and of the back paws at that! :wink: I honestly don't think I could do that to him because he had a heck of a time recovering from just his front paws being done last October. And he's so over weight that that much pressure on 2 declawed feet might be really painful! Also, I wouldn't want him to have an itchy ear and nothing to itch with! What I am going to do though is while he's asleep, trim the back nails. This will take a few days because he'll wake up and notice what I'm doing and scamper away so I think I'll only get one or two clipped at a time.... 

Thanks to all for the advice.


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## Lori (Jun 8, 2003)

I'm so sorry you are having problems with Oliver again, Heather. You have been beyond patient with him. Please know you have my support with whatever you decide to do.


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## Nero the Sable (Oct 28, 2004)

Heather102180 said:


> Thanks guys. A. Muffins, I think you are the first person on this forum that I've herad suggesting declawing....and of the back paws at that! :wink: I honestly don't think I could do that to him because he had a heck of a time recovering from just his front paws being done last October. And he's so over weight that that much pressure on 2 declawed feet might be really painful! Also, I wouldn't want him to have an itchy ear and nothing to itch with! What I am going to do though is while he's asleep, trim the back nails. This will take a few days because he'll wake up and notice what I'm doing and scamper away so I think I'll only get one or two clipped at a time....
> 
> Thanks to all for the advice.


I know! :lol: I sound horrible I know!  Clipping would probably be a better idea than what I just said. :lol: I know how nasty those backfeet can be if they bunny kick you. 

I was just trying to figure something out - but you are right - it would be very painful for him. I'm just trying to think of something to help - one of those last ditch efforts if it was too much to handle. I know you love him so much that you would try anything in your power to help him. I hope everything works out for the best.


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## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

But Oliver is a little boy....he may not like the birth control for females... :lol:


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## EllyMay (Dec 31, 2004)

I am sorry to hear this and can certainly understand how you would feel torn on what to do. It's a tough situation to be in. I once had a cat that was very attached to me in a non healthy way. At times she would scare me by some of the things that she did to be near me. It may sound weird without going into all of the details of her problems, but she definitely had some sort of hormonal inbalance. I hope that things improve for you and Oliver soon and stay that way....


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

Oh, Heather! What a problem. It's so obvious that he loves you and that you love him. I think Elly May might have a point. I also had a cat who seemed to have a hormone problem. Strangely, he looked a lot like Oliver, a big furry Tabby. I tend to think he might need some sort of meds.....what kind, I don't know, but you have my best wishes.


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## Celebsilmare (Aug 9, 2004)

I don't know if you've tried any of these, but Dr. Jean's spirit Essences have one called grouchy or grumpy. It's supposed to be for cats who are moody. Here's a clicky for you, it's only $15...might be worth a shot.

http://www.spiritessence.com/?action=catalog&category=fec


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## dayzduke (Mar 18, 2005)

I think you should definately try rescue remedy it works wonders. Just put a few drops in his water everyday try it for a while and see what happens.


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## DylansMummy (May 23, 2004)

dayzduke - I think Heather may have already tried that - this is a long standing problem - maybe you should go read some of the other threads about Oliver.

Heather - I really feel for you hun  it must be an awful position to be in... All i can suggest is consult the vet that declawed Oliver and see what they suggest... we can all speculate and what have you but they are the experts... I hope you find a solution *big squishy hugs*
Hayley


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## Hippyhart (Jul 4, 2004)

Have you tried soft paws on the back claws?


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## Nero the Sable (Oct 28, 2004)

Hippyhart said:


> Have you tried soft paws on the back claws?


If she can get them on him. :lol: Maybe over time - while he is sleeping. Might take a week eh? I can't remember if you tried that or not though. Maybe I should go back and re-read your threads.


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

I thought of something this morning I just wanted to toss out for you to think about. Early on, when I was having problems with Rocket, a friend of mine, whose brother is a farmer, said that he'd be willing to take Rocket as a barn cat. Now I know Rocket's not cut out to be a barn cat, and anyway, I thought the problems could be worked through and they were. But I remembered that and I thought maybe Oliver's just not cut out to be a house cat. Maybe his place in life is to be a barn cat. Of course, farmers don't appreciate unwanted pets dumped on them, but this case is different. Oliver isn't unwanted. And you'd have to find a farmer who wants him. If you, or you know someone, who has a link to someone who is a farmer, I just hope you'll give this some thought. Sure, it's not the life of a pet cat, but it's a life. And farmers generally take care of ALL their animals, cats included. Just something worth thinking about, I hope, and maybe a way to solve this that works for both of you.


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## spacemonkey (Aug 12, 2004)

Problem being...Ollie is declawed. That's a pretty significant disadvantage for a barn cat :?


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## vanillasugar (Nov 11, 2004)

Actually, when I was talking to Matt about this, his first suggestion was the same as tims. I had to explain why being a barn cat is not good for a cat that's been declawed.

Heather, I just want to let you know again, I've been thinking about you, and sending you all kinds of good thoughts. I really hope you can work through a solution! I can't imagine all you've been through already!


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

No.....a barn cat can't be declawed. I didn't know that was the case.  

And if his rear paws are declawed, he can still bite. :?


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## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

Yeah I don't want him to go outdoors since his front paws are declawed. He'd die outside, he wouldn't know what to do. I got Ollie at 6 weeks from my friends cat who had kittens. I know he's never been an outdoor cat so he woudln't know what to do. He really is a big baby...loves his warm covers, loves to cuddle with me. ......but then he just has this bizzare side to him where he just goes nuts all of sudden for no reason. The vet told me he thinks Oliver has a "wild gene" in him that some domestic cats have....wierd, I know. 

I'm intersted in trying the drops that you put in their water...can anyone give me advice on these? Any bad side affects? What are the drops suppose to do? Do you know the price of these?

Thanks again for the support! (Oliver and I appreciate it!)


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## Hippyhart (Jul 4, 2004)

I talked to the vet about my cat Miles' anxiety issues, and I know this is a last resort for me, but he did mention that they have kitty prozac to help even his moods. Maybe you could talk to your vet about this?


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## Celebsilmare (Aug 9, 2004)

You can put the spirit essence ones in water and they are $15. You can also rub it on his fur right behind his ears to make him smell it. I know giving them to him orally is out, but you can do the water, rub it on him and dilute it in water and spritz around your home to give the calming smell everywhere. The one I used worked wonders for my cat and since they're all natural it's ok. It generally comes with alcohol as a preservative, but there is something else you can get it made with on the site for $5 more. Plus they have one made specifically for grouvhy or moody cats.
http://www.spiritessence.com/?action=catalog&category=fec


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## tigersmom (Sep 9, 2004)

I just saw these spirit essences in a local health food store today. You might be able to find them without ordering them. The store owner said that his customers swear by them! 

Good luck with Oliver. You have invested so much in him emotionally that I really hope you can get him under control. Happy thoughts!!!


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

Where is King Solomon when we need him? My heart goes out to you Heather. Please know everyone on this board knows youve been such a fantastic mom to Oliver and has done everything you know to do. Sending you big hugs in this situation.


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## dayzduke (Mar 18, 2005)

I know the use of Rescue Remedy has been mentioned, and I'm not sure if you have tried it because I am new to this forum. I tried to look at your past post to see if you had, and I didn't see anything ... but I didn't not look through them all, as there is a lot to look through.  
Anyway if you have not tried it ... I do recommend it highly. You can put it in their water, or some behind the ear, mix it in with wet food, and some people do more than one method. I did some reading up on it before I gave it to my cat, and there are a lot of people who use it everyday. I'm sure that you can find some info about it on the net, and here is a site where you can purchase it. http://pethealthinstitute.com/rescue.html
If you have already tried this, I apologize for my post.


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## AddFran (Jul 10, 2004)

Heather, Whole Foods carries spirit essences too, that might be easier if you have one in your area.


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## mizzkitty (Jun 13, 2004)

i havent really read exactly everything thats been going on but how about finding a good home for it instead of putting him to sleep?


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## spacemonkey (Aug 12, 2004)

Well, it is important to read exactly what is going on, because what Heather is dealing with has been happening for awhile. Oliver has moments of extreme aggression directed towards people. I don't think Heather would feel comfortable placing him in another home knowing he may possibly hurt that person, not to mention the potential stress to Ollie.

Heather's gone above and beyond what most owners would do, and has tolerated these moments because Ollie is not entirely a "bad" cat. She's just between a rock and a hard place, and I'm sure she's been thinking through every possible solution (sorry to talk for you, Heather, just trying to lend a little support ).

**HUGS** again, I'm still thinking about you and wishing you peace in this tough situation.


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## fbodgrl (May 10, 2004)

I've had great success with the spirit esences so far for Zoee's OCD. She overgrooms. I used it, her fur started growing back, then Mateo broke the bottle and we had family statying here for a week. I'm not sure if she wasn't entirely "better" or if you have to continue using it or if the family stressed her out. Anyway...I just got more a couple of weeks ago and it seems to be working again.

If you order it from the site it is free shipping and mine usually comes in 4 or 5 days.


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## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

I don't have a whole foods here but I do have a PetCo. I think I'll try my PetCo first and if they don't have it, I'll order it. For some reason I thought it was so much more expensive but $15 a bottle isn't tooo outrageous so I think I'll definently give it a try! :lol:


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

I so hope it works, Heather. You have tried so hard. You and Oliver deserve a break.


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