# Goodnight my dear sweet friend



## Kamie (Feb 12, 2011)

I found my furry best friend passed away on my bedroom floor in the very early hours of Saturday 12th February. He was just four years old. I'm still at a loss to understand why this has happened as he had always been such a healthy happy cat. He literally just dropped dead. Last time I saw him, he was sitting with me on the table while I was working on my laptop. He jumped down and I asked him where he was going and he just gave me the most loving look back. I kept thinking to myself that I should really go to bed as it was late but I kept putting it off and went up about a hour after he did, now I'm thinking if I had just followed him up to bed, I would have been with him and maybe I could have done something. When I found him, I honestly thought that he was just asleep and tried to wake him as he was in the doorway to the bedroom and I didn't want to step over him. It took me what seemed like an eternity to actually realise what had happened. I grabbed hold of him and put him on the bed so that I could check him over but I could tell by his eyes and his beautiful little paws that were already going cold that he was long gone. I was inconsolable. I was in the house alone as my husband is already over in Australia and I just went into a bit of a meltdown and didn't know what to do. I called my husband but I couldn't really talk through the sobs. He just told me that it was important to get my other cat (his momma) down to the vet to get checked over to be safe. I wrapped my baby boy in one of my mum's towels and brought him downstairs after holding him for a while, sobbing, I placed him on his favorite spot on the couch. I placed his momma in her carrier and she did not make a peep (this is normally a long drawn out process for us but she had been with him when it happened and when I found him she was still sitting guarding him). I went outside to wait for my friend who was going to come with me and as I was on the phone to my husband again, out of the corner of my eye, I saw what I really do believe to be my baby boys spirit leave the house

I had taken him to get his needles on Monday as we are emigrating to Australia and I was taking both of my babies with me now I'm wondering if my actions have some how caused my little sweet Bob's death. He was a house cat who never showed any inclination of wanting to go outside, he was much happier sitting with me, he was my second shadow. I had made the decision not to vaccinate him before as I didn't want to pump him full of drugs, but the only way I could bring him with me was to get the vaccinations done. He had had a bit of a temperature but nothing that was overly concerning. He was still eating, drinking and active up to the very end. I just keep wondering if I could have done anything to help and if I had missed something. I feel like after all the love and kindness that he showed me, I have failed him on the worst level.

I took him to the vets with us and he couldn't find anything obvious so he suggested that I get a post mortum. I didn't like the idea of anyone touching him like that but I had his momma to think about, so I had to know if there was anything that could hurt her, so I agreed. Luckily she was fine and I brought her home. I called the vets the next day and they said to me that not only would I perhaps not find the answers that I needed in a post mortum, I also wouldn't get my little boy back. I decided then and there that no matter what I found, it was not going to bring him back to me and I just wanted him to be laid to rest in a proper dignified way. So yesterday, I took him to be cremated in a very beautiful place and he was able to come home within a couple of hours. The pet crematorium was so beautiful, they placed him in a cat bed in their chapel and he looked so snug, just like he was asleep and very peaceful. This was the most perfect last memory that I could have ever hoped to have of my little friend.

I know that everyone believes that their cats are special, but this one truly was. There was never anyone that met him that didn't automatically love him (even the cat haters), my neighbours even used to bring him treats. I really do believe that my little guy was a gift from God, he was such a wise, comforting and kind little soul. I was there when he was born and we have been inseparable ever since. There was nothing that ever happened that was so bad that he couldn't put a smile on my face. 

Since Bob came into my life, I have suffered so of the worst years of life. I believe that he was given to me, to help me through these times and I would like to think that now these are (hopefully) over, maybe God decided that his love was needed somewhere to help someone else that has to go through the same tough times as I had. I lost my mum in March last year after a long battle with Cancer and I cannot even begin to explain how much he helped me both through caring for her and her eventual death. When I used to sit and cry, he would come and put his paw on me, as if to reassure me that he was there. He also used to nestle my finger in between the little gap in his pad and squeeze it so he was holding it.

To say that I am devastated by my little guys passing is an understatement. I haven't stopped crying and I cant even sleep in my bedroom as I can bear not to have him on the bed with me and also its where he passed.

Good night my dear sweet friend, I love you with all of my heart and it is my dearest wish that I will be reunited with you someday.


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## Lenkolas (Jan 18, 2011)

Hi...I'm very sorry for your loss. Your story made me cry, 'cause I lost my girl two months ago and it still hurts every minute of every single day. I know what you must be going through. I want to be honest with you and tell you that you'll never get completely over the pain, but you'll learn to live with it and gradually you'll start to feel better. You have to remember all the good memories, and believe that he's in a happier place now. And you still have your other kitty to love and care; concentrate on that and you may find some relief from your pain.

Do not blame yourself: there's nothing you could have done. It was his time. He went to sleep peacefully and he had your love until the very last moment. I know you feel miserable now, but be sure that it will pass. It will be ok, time will mend your pain.

I wanna send you a hug from the distance and offer you these humble words of condolences; if you need to talk about it or anything just send me a message.

a big warm hug

Lenka


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

Kamie, what a shock and I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm really sorry to hear you had to go through it alone, too. It must have been a terrible shock.

Your love for Bob is obvious, and I know with time (maybe lots of it), you'll adjust to this. Please be good to yourself.


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how devastated you must have been, given how unexpected it was. Rest in peace little Bob, and know you were loved very much.


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## Kamie (Feb 12, 2011)

Thank you all for your kind words. I think that I'm still in shock at the moment and I just cant belive that hes gone. I keep expecting for him to jump on my lap, for his little head to pop out from the curtins when he hears me getting the food, or for me to be getting my stomach marched on before we go to sleep, but then I look at the little box where he is now and it all comes flooding back to me and I just sob. I'm trying to work through my feelings and I wrote this for my baby boy and I just wanted to share it as it just seems to sum up how I feel.


My darling Bob, my sweet dear friend, how heartbroken I am that I will never hear the patter pat of your footsteps again.
The gentle head butts that I used to love, I’ll miss them so much. I’d give the world to feel your gentle loving touch.
When I was blue and you would put your paw on my hand to say, I’m here for you. I need to feel you paw on me again, but alas this cannot come true.
Bob I love you so much, I wish you could come back to me, but I know this cant happen, as this was ment to be.
I hope you’re in heaven now on nana Stasia’s lap, give her loves and purring like my gentle happy cat.


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## ruthie123 (Nov 6, 2006)

so sad for your loss so young too, rip bob xx


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## sephi (May 9, 2010)

so sorry for your loss.. it is even make it more painful that he was in good health.. but we can't control everyone's destiny. rip bob


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## Kamie (Feb 12, 2011)

Thank you all again for your kind words. His momma Tahllula has today been sitting on my lap for the first time ever and the strangest thing happened, she did that thing that my Bob used to do where he would nestle my finger in his pads and squeeze like he was holding my hand. She has never ever done this before, I guess that she needs comfort too.


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## katlover13 (Apr 15, 2008)

I'm so sorry you lost your sweet Bob. He sounds like he was a truly remarkable cat.
I have lost too many cats, my wonderful Tweezer just last week. They leave such an emptiness when they are gone, each one takes a piece of you with them. 
I hope the good memories will soon overcome the sadness for you.


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## Sharpie (Jun 13, 2010)

I know words can't completely bring comfort, but I know Bob is watching over you and completely happy where he is. I'm so sorry for your loss-there are no words that can properly describe the pain. ((hugs))

Rest in Peace, Bob, until you are reunited with your wonderful Mommy once again.


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## kittywitty (Jun 19, 2010)

I am so saddened to hear about your precious kitty, Bob. You gave each other love and shared a very special bond. Let those memories be cherished and never be forgotten. He is your little angel looking down and waiting for the day that the two of you will reunite. Until then, he will run free at the rainbow bridge with all the other furbabies. I am very sorry for your loss.


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## Time Bandit (Aug 17, 2010)

I'm so sorry for your loss of Bob. He sounded like a wonderful kitty, and it's obvious he was very well loved by the way you write about him. Run free at the Bridge little one. atback


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## Kamie (Feb 12, 2011)

It does really make me feel better that you guys understand what Bob's passing has ment to me. I'm lucky that I have friends that are real animal lovers, so they understand but not everyone does. Thank you all so much. There such dear little things and he was such a special little guy, that I don't think that I will ever truly get over his passing. He has certainly left his paw prints on my heart and he taught me so much about myself, brought out a side that I didn't even know existed. I sometimes think that our furbabys are put here to help and teach us, rather than the other way around.

I know that when we enter in to caring for our companions, we know down the line its never going to end well, but I feel so robbed of all the years that we should have had together.

I've come to the conclusion that my little one may have had diabetes and that I failed to recognise the symptoms. I have posted more about it in my thread in the behaviour section.


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## tigressbythetail (Dec 1, 2010)

I know how you are feeling now. I just lost my Nellie today. The worst thing is not knowing exactly why and wondering if there was anything you simply missed that would have made a difference in the outcome. Most of the time there isn't since most of us aren't clairvoyant. 

He blessed your for four years and it was time for your angel to fly home. 

I'm so sorry for your loss.
Hugs, Deb


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