# Hello cat peeps



## Barmby (Sep 20, 2010)

Hi

I've got two kittens, Bunce and Bean, so I'll be using this site a lot in the future!

One is 10 weeks and came home last week, the other is 17 weeks and been here a month.

We introduced them slowly, kitten was in the spare room, we scent swapped with towels etc and they met for the first time yesterday but they're not getting on yet. The youngest is super confident, so will swipe at the older kitten - and she pins him, pounces on him and there has been some biting, scratching etc, but it didn't seem all out fighting, yet.

I've been trying to prevent this pouncing by distracting her with toys, banging my feet on the floor, throwing tea towels near the action, but it still carries on. should I keep doing this, or should it resolve itself? If it gets too heated I put him back in the spare room, but he wants out straight away and cries.

Any help appreciated.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Welcome!

If it doesn't seem like all-out fighting, you could allow them to be together - under your supervision - and let them work it out. They will learn about boundaries through the pinning and swiping and such.

Pictures? :grin:


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## Barmby (Sep 20, 2010)

Thanks.

I don't want the little one to get bullied, as the chasing does go on, but he's quite bold and will sometimes swipe at the bigger one, which doesn't help matters!

Should I let it play out until they resolve it, or keep trying to distract? Or will that just be putting off the inevitable anyway? They will sleep together, have eaten next to each other (separate bowls and litter trays too) but awake time is fighting most of the time.

I have a week off to look after them, I hope that might be enough!

I'm on my phone at the moment, I'll post sine pictures when I'm back at my PC.


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## Barmby (Sep 20, 2010)

Managed to get a pic after last post  they look like the best of friends there, don't they? Hopefully they will while awake too soon!


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

I think they're just fine being with each other. My twins still chase each other and wrestle after 3 years.


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## catalina76 (Sep 21, 2010)

Awwww they look like they love each other!!

I wouldnt worry, there is always an adaptation period for cats to get to know each other.


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## Keeping August (Aug 31, 2010)

Welcome!


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## Barmby (Sep 20, 2010)

Thanks everyone.

I might be being over cautious, but the new kitten is about half the size of the other and yesterday I left them to it to see if it would come to a natural stop like you said, but the older one knocked the little one over, pinned him on his back and started to bite him. He seemed pretty scared and she didn't stop, so I separated them. 

I don't want the little guy to get hurt; should I just keep putting them together, and putting him back in the spare room when it gets too rough?


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

Having been through this with a 10 week old kitten and an 18 week old who was four times the size of the little one, I know exactly how you feel (although in my case, it was the little one who chased and pounced on the big one!). If your little one were being hurt, he would be crying out, struggling to get away and often running away once/if he broke free. If he’s not crying out/etc., then he’s probably fine. Provided the little one isn’t acting as if he’s terrorized (running/hiding/etc.), then I would try to keep them together as much as possible, provided you’re at home and able to supervise them closely. If he is acting as if he’s terrorized, then post again with a description of his reaction.

Trying to distract them with toys likely won’t work if and when they’re wrestling. Thus, when they’re together, keep an eye on the female (not sure if that’s Bunce or Bean!) and try to distract her before she pounces. I found one of the best techniques to distract mine was to shine a laser light in front of her (keep it out of her eyes), or bounce a rubber ball close to her, which she would then chase. If a scuffle does break out and the little one is crying, or you simply feel things are getting too rough for your tastes, then I found the best way to separate the kittens is to shake a coin can (put a bunch of pennies in a tin can with a lid/top). That would instantly separate my two. Once they were separated, I then tried to interest them in toys/playing. 

I would put the kitten back in the spare room for now when you’re unable to supervise. You might also consider putting the older kitten in the spare room now and again, and letting the younger one run about – sort of a room exchange.


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## Barmby (Sep 20, 2010)

Hi Susan,

Thanks for that, I'm glad someone has been through the same thing. 

When he runs away she'll give chase and I've been dropping a tea towel into the action (not throwing with any force, just dropping and it seems to break it up and distract them)

Did you see a lot of biting with yours? The little one will roll onto his back (submissive I think) and then swipe at her, but she'll pin him and bite his neck. She then stalks him around the house like she does with her toys, her bottom wiggles just before she jumps on him, so I know it's time for a distraction.

As for keeping them together as long as possible, yesterday the longer they were together, the more aggressive the 'play' became, so today I've been introducing them for short periods to hopefully get used to each other. 

The little one has been all over the house, both with her around and alone.

I can probably film the fighting on my phone and upload it to youtube or something, and you can see what you think on the next meeting - that might make it easier to give an opinion? 

Oh and Bunce is the girl, family name, long story


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## Barmby (Sep 20, 2010)

Back again

We've had some ups and downs today; in one of the meetings the bigger one licked the little one around the ears and face, and we sat them next to each other while they ate, and they both ate perfectly fine. 

Then a bit later they started to play, there was chasing, and pouncing, and the little one seemed ok. I would pick him up and put him on my lap, but he would wriggle to get free and back onto the floor, so I assumed it was ok, as I imagine he'd want to stay there if he had been scared.

Then we had the worst fight yet, the play just kept getting rougher, and rougher, until I caught the end on this video as promised:





 
You can hear him scream and I went and broke it up (first time he's screamed) He ran and hid under the sofa, I got him out and am now back in the spare room with him, he was a bit shaken I think, but he's back to purring now. I don't think I'm going to put them together again today. Tomorrow is another day, but I definitely can't leave them alone.


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## brentley (Sep 20, 2010)

*Kitten Fighting*

I have two kittens (littermates), about 5 months now and they wrestle each other almost constantly. It seems to get really rough, and they squeel and sqawl but both seem to be having a great time. They have never injured one another, even a bit.

I used to pull them apart, but as soon as I did, they went right back at it. I think it's just how the little ones relate to one another.


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## Barmby (Sep 20, 2010)

But does the less dominant run away and hide? He did, and you could see he was scared, was the noise he made like yours?

Just spent a few hours up in the room with him and he's back to normal.


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## brentley (Sep 20, 2010)

*Screaming and Growling*

...that meow certainly does sound like he was upset! But, yes, both of mine do that to each other. I used to pull them apart, the female used to scream and growl. I'd pull them apart and she'd jump right back in to it.

But, if your little one is hiding, then he needs a break. I noticed the larger cat going after his feet... that's where my go when they're playing.


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## Barmby (Sep 20, 2010)

I think he definitely did, I expect as he gets older and bigger he'll be able to handle himself better, but as he's so small at the moment it's really one sided and seems like outright bullying.

Almost all of the time he's down with her, she's in the ready to pounce position, watching and waiting. 

As mentioned I have a week with them before I'm back to work, I can't see me being able to leave them alone during the next few weeks unfortunately. Maybe after a month or so he'll be big enough to let her know enough is enough. Thanks for the help anyone, if you have anymore advice I'd be happy to hear it.


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

Thanks for the video. That put things into perspective. That was not what I’d call a fight, more along the lines of play wrestling. But things clearly got a bit too rough for Bean at the end. You can tell that not only from his crying, but also Bunce took quite a big “bite” on his backside right before Bean cried. I too would have put an end to things at that point, particularly given the size differential. As for his hiding and appearing scared, I suspect that was a combination of the play getting too rough and, potentially, whatever you did to break up the fight…i.e., if you made a loud noise, that too could might have caused him to hide (although you were right to stop it). 

On the positive side, Bunce’s earlier licking of Bean’s ears and face suggests that Bunce likes Bean. Also, the fact that Bean wants to get right back in the thick of things when he’s on your lap is a good sign. He’s got spunk! Finally, although it was tough to tell in the video, Bunce did not appear as if she was fighting “for real”. When my two (who are now best friends) fought in the beginning, it often turned real fighting – ears back, fur standing on end, tails thrashing, howling and yowling, claws often out, etc., and I didn’t see any of that in your video. So, all of these points suggest that, in time, Bunce and Bean will be best friends. 

You might try the following approach over the next few days while you’re still at home. Since they seem to be ok eating together, start their “together” sessions off with food. So, bring them together at mealtimes. After eating, they will likely groom. Thereafter, play with them for a while, and end the playtime with some treats. The more you can give them a reason to like each other (by having good things happen in each other’s company), the quicker they will become friends. After you’ve played with them for a while, let them amuse themselves, with you around to keep an eye on things. Try to distract Bunce from chasing/fighting too often – with a laser light, by tossing a ball, or whatever else works for you. If you find yourself distracting Bunce every time you turn around, then separate them for a while, whereupon they’ll likely have a little nap in any event. Then, bring them together again at the next mealtime.

I wouldn’t leave them together unsupervised until either the wrestling matches are clearly not upsetting Bean, or until Bean gets a bit bigger and he’s better able to stick up for himself. I take it Bunce is always the one who instigates the wrestling matches right now. You’ll know you’re on the home stretch once Bean also starts initiating the chasing and wrestling, and once Bean is no longer crying during the wrestling matches. I wouldn’t worry about the fact that you’ll need to separate them when you’re at work. Chances are that, if nobody’s home, they’ll just amuse themselves or sleep. And, even if it takes a while before you can leave them together when you’re not home, that time is only a drop in the bucket relative to the many years that they’ll live together as best friends. It took me two months before I could put my two in the same room together and another two months before they could be together without constant supervision (although mine were much worse than what I see in your video). Those months seemed to take forever at the time, but now it’s history! Soon, you too will be able to say that.


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## Barmby (Sep 20, 2010)

That's really helpful, Susan, thank you! 

To stop the fight I dropped a toy mouse (it's quite big) next to them, so you're right, maybe I scared him too. 

I'll follow your advice and see how we get on! I'm feeling much more positive about the situation now, they're both fantastic cats and I'd love them to be best pals! 

I'll keep coming on here and post pictures as they grow up together.

I don't know your thoughts on Feliway? I bought one, which was in the living room, I plan to get another for his bedroom, just to relax him.

Thanks again everyone, this place is fantastic!


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

The effectiveness of Feliway seems to vary from cat to cat. I initially bought the spray, and sprayed it on a cloth part of one of Muffin's toys, just to try it out. After a little while, I gave her the toy. She sniffed it and you could literally see the stress drain right out of her. So, it was highly effective in my case. I then went out and bought a few plug-ins and put them all about. That said, I know others here have had no positive results with Feliway, so I guess it all depends.


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## Smittenkitten92 (Sep 22, 2010)

My kitten has been in our house for a month and my cat still hates him, but she likes to pretend he isn't actually here and my sisters cat attacks with him all the time and He just walks up to her and swats at her or bites her neck then rolls on his back. You dont need to distract her she just wants to play.
I go by how my kitten is reacting, is his fur puffed up? Is he making any distressed or angry noises? Does he seem to be really frightened or uncomfortable?
Separating them is just putting off the inevitable, they need to be around eachother, my kitten and sisters cat had a big fight, a real fight not just grumbles and some batting, I separated them, and now their fine and play and wrestle with eachother. They just need to understand each others boundaries and how far they will be able to go with one another and they wont learn that when their being separated all the time.

I worried a lot for my kitten and my cat, i thought she would try to kill him when i brought him home, turns out she just likes to pretend he isn't here, worrying is probably unnecessary. Kittens are pretty tough, they beat the heck out of their littermates all the time


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