# Grieving with my grieving cat... what can I do?



## Alyjoy619 (Nov 8, 2020)

Hello everyone,
I am hoping someone can provide some advice and guidance. A few weeks ago, my 8.5 yr old handsome polydactyl cat had an unexpected saddle thrombus, almost immediately went into full blown congestive heart failure, and needed to be euthanized (it was the only humane thing, as badly as I wanted to save his life). This was traumatizing for me, bc I am an RN and feel like I should have done more; and it was evidently traumatizing to my 9 yr old cat, Casper, who sleeps under the covers with me now. He has become much more vocal. He exhibits other signs of anxiety/depression such as some weight loss, obsessively licking his belly (he did it before too, but it is a bit worse), and he is literally attached to me... I feel guilty leaving him at all. What do you guys recommend? How can I help him? He is not a normal cat bc he was bottle-fed from 3 days old and only had one sibling. I introduced him to other "more normal" fosters when he was younger, and he mostly tolerated them, and sometimes took on a paternal role of sorts, but he doesnt play like a normal cat. Thank you for any help!
Alyssa


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Alyssa, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost Cali last year, Charlee Marie's twin. Since then she's very clingy, at times she will cry until I either lie down on the sofa or put back my recliner so she can snuggle with me there. My girls were inseparable, 13 years old. 






















I think Casper could use some_ kitty Prozac _and an appetite stimulant_. _I know a lot of people are against medications, but it helped my Cleo when she overgroomed. 

But first of all, you should stop blaming any of this on yourself. It really is the first place we go when things go wrong, blaming ourselves. And I believe our cats pick up on our emotions and feelings. Casper definitely needs special attention right now and some spoiling. 

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.


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## Alyjoy619 (Nov 8, 2020)

Thank you for your comforting words. I know I should not blame myself. I have survivor's guilt as well, since I almost died from a cardiac condition at 28, and they performed open heart surgery to save my life. I guess I wish I could have prevented his pain and prolonged his life with beta blockers and maybe low molecular weight heparin, but I knew nothing about this condition. These cats are my emotional support animals, though Casper a bit more so, especially now.
I really do not want to put Casper on kitty Prozac  I think if I feed him more of his favorite foods in smaller portions more often, he will gain back some weight. The issue with the overgrooming is a lasting one, though. I had a tuxedo cat growing up that also overgroomed, and we never knew why. Pictured is Casper in his new microfleece, warming bed, that warms to the temp of a cat... I figured it may help comfort him, even if it is intended for older arthritic pets! The handsome boy with the mesmerizing eyes was Dutch, my polydactyl (he was quite large, too).


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Gorgeous boys! You could try Nutrical to help Casper gain weight. It's flavored gel and helps add extra calories. My girls loved it when they needed help gaining weight.

You've been through a lot, hopefully Casper will be with you for a long time.


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