# Hi, I'm New :-) - cat won't sit on my lap



## NikNak (Jul 21, 2013)

Hi,
My name is Nikki and I live with my husband, son, elderly dog (she's 17) and Dean, our Lynx Point Pixie Bob. Dean is 3 years old and we all adore him! When he was a kitten he would sleep in my arms and I would be in absolute heaven! 

Dean is neutered and for the most part he has no bad behavior. Sometimes he will scratch the couch when he's hungry or wants to wake us up (my husband can hear that sound a mile away!). 

My main problem is that Dean won't sit on my lap. He will sit with my husband, sit with my son, sit with anybody else who comes into our house (seriously!). But not me.

Even when I pet him, he will slink down as if to get away from me. I don't know what it is. I feed him, give him water, clean his litter box, and I play with him. We play daily and we have fun. He has his cat tower and toys and we interact wonderfully.

Dean isn't mean and he certainly doesn't qualify as a cat from **** or anything. I just don't what I'm doing wrong. Any advice?


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## FurbyFace (May 13, 2013)

Cats are just weird. You said he sits on your husband and son, maybe he likes men. That's just a guess though, I really don't know. 


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## franri (Jul 19, 2013)

I agree, cats are weird. You probably aren't doing anything wrong. He may change and he may not. My friend had a cat who only liked men. He was sweet, just not into the ladies.


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## cinderflower (Apr 22, 2012)

there's not really anything you can do except maybe ignore him and pretend you don't want him to sit on your lap. or maybe I should say pretend that you're indifferent. I have two lap cats and a middle one who will only get on my lap for 5 seconds when he's begging for food. he has finally gotten to where he likes to lie in bed with me every night and some when i'm watching tv, but some cats just don't do it I think.


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## howsefrau32 (Mar 6, 2013)

This is something so many of us talk about, these ungrateful little jerks who won't show us love. I have a few of those. I have one, Beep, my oldest cat, she ignores most people, except my husband. She sticks to him like glue. She sits only on his lap. It's maddening. We were lucky enough to have a little stray, his name is Stephano, a little black kitty, that we rescued from the woods in December, and he is a snuggler. He likes to sit in laps and be held. We are all sort of in heaven having this little guy in our life now. But cats are just weird, and you can't make them be a certain way, they just are how they are. I swear, the little stray ones though, that you take out the yard, the ones mewing at your door, are the biggest sweethearts, like they are so grateful for being saved.


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## NOLAKitties (May 30, 2013)

Try put treats closer to your lap, then on your lap. It works for Angelo. He is now my lapcat. Unfortunately Ponyo doesn't want to sit on my lap though. She is more independent. Once in a while before I go to bed I pick her up when she is half asleep and snuck her in bed with me. She usually purrs hard in my arms until i fall asleep then she runs away to sleep by herself.


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## amy22 (Jul 5, 2013)

Have you tried a laptop? Every cat I've met cannot resist a laptop on my lap. Freja especially, but maybe thats because she's usually the center of attention and resents being displaced


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## NebraskaCat (Jan 15, 2013)

amy22 said:


> Have you tried a laptop?


Or the inexpensive version of a laptop - a newspaper? I have never been able to sit on a sofa or recliner and read a newspaper without "assistance".


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## NOLAKitties (May 30, 2013)

Put a blanket on your lap.... Angelo thinks my lap is not comfy enough without a blanket.


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## spirite (Jul 31, 2012)

Hi NikNak! Will he still let you hold him, but he just won't get on your lap? If so, then it does seem like there's something specifically about being on your lap that he doesn't like. Do you usually sit in the same place? Or maybe it's what you're wearing? My lap cat will not sit on my lap if I'm wearing shorts, and she's not a huge fan of jeans either. She sits next to me if I'm wearing shorts or jeans. She prefers the cotton knit pants, but her favorite is the Polartec. So essentially she only likes her chair to be covered in soft fabrics, and bare skin is not acceptable. :roll:


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

This is not a reflection on you. Some cats just develop preferences and we can take it personally. Perhaps it is because you are SO familiar with him (you do the feeding, caring, etc.), that he is drawn to the others. It's like a child that prefers the company of his friends' parents over yours even though you are the one that gave him life, fed him, changed his diapers, cooled his fevers, etc. It's hard to feel rejection - even temporarily. He may just prefer the company of those that are not around as much - or maybe just men in particular. 

Billy used to never sit on laps until I had a throw pillow on mine and he hopped right up one day. Remove the pillow and he left, add pillow and he'd come back. Weird.

Don't take it personally - he may come back to your lap when he is older. Cat's personalities progress as they get older and settle down. He is just now hitting full adulthood so there is lots of time for him to fully mature. Try to entice him with snacks to sit by your side, then slowly progress to the lap from there. He needs to associate your lap with good things. As to the slinking away from your touch, most of my cats do that if they are looking for something else or not in the mood for affection.


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## lovetimesfour (Dec 1, 2010)

Could be your scent. Do you were perfume? Do you smoke? Use a lotion the others don't use? Work in an environment that has strong odors?

Mostly I agree with those who say it's just kitty's personality. But cats are very scent oriented, so you might want to think about any odors you may have hanging around you.


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## Gecko_G (Jul 17, 2013)

My cat was never one to sit on your lap. She would like to be near you, and for a long while at first she usually had to be at least in the same room (to the point of, if you got up and left a room, she'd usually follow - though that gradually faded), but she'd never be actually on anyone. She also definately had a preference of some people in the household and not others.

About a year ago I moved (only about 2 blocks), then suddenly she couldn't get enough lap time, for about a 4 month span at least (even to the point of laying on my chest as I'm trying to get to sleep). Now though she's back to never wanting to be on my lap (I'll pick her up and set her on my lap and she'll stay for a brief moment to get petted, then jump down)- though she will now walk across me, something she wouldn't do before.


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## CatsAndMe (Jul 23, 2013)

amy22 said:


> Have you tried a laptop? Every cat I've met cannot resist a laptop on my lap. Freja especially, but maybe thats because she's usually the center of attention and resents being displaced


My cat comes to just sit on my laptop


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