# Males vs females



## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

Sooo. I'm wondering, is there a significant and obvious difference between male and female cats? I hear that males can be much more affectionate and females are more independent/b!tchy. Especially, if the male is neutered. 

I'm starting to see that in my two. Captain Jack loves being petted and if he's had enough he'll just get up and walk away. Miu on the other hand, will either push your hands away or if you persist, she'll smack you away. You can pet her but it's on HER terms....like at 4am she might wake you up for some pets.


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## Jan Rebecca (Oct 14, 2010)

I can only speak for males as that's all I've had - Tuffy is very affectionate at times.


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

Most of the male cats I know are very affectionate. As for my girls...Muffs doesn't like to be petted, cuddle or sit on my lap. Abby does, but only for a few minutes at a time. So, neither are as affectionate as the male cats I know...and I'd say both Muffs and Abby are more independent. But, I wouldn't say either of them are b!tchy. In fact, relative to the male cats I know, both Muffs and Abby are little angels. They're much less likely to get into mischief and they're much more docile. 

Still, at the end of the day, I suspect both their independence and the fact that they're well behaved is more a function of their temperament than their sex.


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## Jlee238 (Nov 16, 2010)

I know that that holds true in my household. My male cat is my cuddler, and my female is more witchy.


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## kittywitty (Jun 19, 2010)

Never had male cats but only one out of 4 females was a real cuddle puss. The others are very independent and hate to be held. Although they do come to me for pets.


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## swimkris (Jul 17, 2010)

Both of my cats are affectionate, but in different ways. Pumpkin seeks out petting, but she is too hyper/ADD for me to hold her more than a minute (however she does allow my flatmate to snuggle her for larger periods of time...traitor . She might pop you if she gets annoyed, but it doesn't happen too often since I know how to read her moods now. She also likes to sleep on my bed at night up by my head 

Simone is my whiny boy. He is very affectionate, but really only with me. He allows my flatmate to pick him up and/or pet him, but he only seeks me out. He's going through his bratty kitten phase right now, so he is a bit of a handful!

Basically, they are both very affectionate, but too ADD to be a lap cat...


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

With my vast experience of ever having 2 cats, a male and a female, I'd agree that the male is much more affectionate and easy-going. My friend said, "Boy cats are sweeter and dumber than girl cats . . . kind of like human beings." Now discuss.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Both my Devon Rexes are lap sitters but that's more a breed thing than gender thing. Generally speaking over the years, I've found the boys to be more demonstrably affectionate, whereas you have to earn the love from the pickier females. Once they love and trust you they can be as affectionate as the boys, though some don't always like being picked up (especially torties which can have a stubborn independent streak).


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## NRD (Mar 31, 2010)

My anecdotal experience with three guys and one girl reinforces the stereotype that the guys are happy-go-lucky and the girl, Snowball, is prickly. She is at least as affectionate and sweet towards me as the guys, though. The behavior that makes her such a challenge is she can be grooming Little Hersh one second, and then, for no apparent reason, she swats him. This has happened numerous times, despite the fact she likes him. And one reason she doesn't get on with Blizzy is she will sniff him innocently one second and swat the next. He got fed up with that unpredictability pretty fast--when he walks near her, sometimes he flinches, sometimes he just stares her down. Hershey, too, has learned to keep his distance when she's feeling feisty, but he's such a sociable guy he was the very first to break through her defensive aggressiveness and convince her he wanted to be friends. But it's friends on her terms, not his.


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## Ducman69 (Aug 28, 2010)

Its a stereotype, which means most of the time its true, but not all of the time.

If you were to take 100 cats and count which ones were lap cats, you would get a larger percentage of males than females from the group, but thats not to say that many of the females weren't more affectionate than some of the boys. 

Wesley on day one was a shmoozeler with a V8 engine purr and always wanted to be picked up or sit on you and get some petting action on. Buttercup has been more aloof and it has taken a while now to where now she too likes to cuddle up close just like her brother. But Wesley the boy will let you hold him like a baby or upside down or whatever, he just doesn't care. If you try that with Buttercup, you're bound to get scratched, and she's more easily frightened.

If going with kittens where you can't be confident of the personality, its a safer bet to go with a male if you want a lap cat and a female if you want a more aloof and independent kitty.


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## dweamgoil (Feb 3, 2010)

October said:


> With my vast experience of ever having 2 cats, a male and a female, I'd agree that the male is much more affectionate and easy-going. My friend said, "Boy cats are sweeter and dumber than girl cats . . . kind of like human beings." Now discuss.


 October - too funny!!!

I have 3 girls, 2 are real sweeties although not clingy in any respect. Well, except for Lacey, but she's a Balinese (goes with the territory) and she's still a kitten. The 3rd is quite moody. If she doesn't want to be bothered with you, she will actually cringe from your touch and contort herself so you can't quite get to her. She won't run away or hide from you, just calmly let you know she's not having it. I like to think of it as she has limits and is not afraid to let you know what they are!


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## CuteNCraze86 (Dec 29, 2007)

The girls are b!tchy in my group. The boys are total lovers.


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## Elektra (Jul 26, 2010)

I'm not sure. I've had both male and female lap cats and my aunts male cat was lord nasty.


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## melysion (Mar 12, 2007)

My mother has always claimed that male cats are more affectionate than female cats. Thats certainly the case with the two she has at the moment - Felix (male) is a little love bug while Willow (female) can be rather aloof.


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## OsnobunnieO (Jun 28, 2004)

Tristan is my first male (and the only one in a house of 6 women!). He's definately the sweetest most affectionate of any cats I've ever had. He's also pretty laid back.

My three females are affectionate when they want to be. Skylar likes to sit on a warm lap and can be all over you when she wants to be, but will quickly turn and swat or bite at you when she's had enough. She's generally the least social with the other pets.

Carson is a tortie who lives up to the reputation. While she loves to be pet and snuggle (either with me or rub up against the dogs) she can go from sweet to rancid hissy swatty in no time at all. She plays with Logan and Tristan a good bit, but at the same time will growl and hiss at them when they approach her most days. She's my bipolar kitty.

Logan is also a tortie but so far doesn't know it. She's sweet and keeps entertained with the other cats. Every few days she'll come up for a snuggle but its almost like she forgets I exist some days. I don't think I've ever seen her upset over anything (except scared - then she runs off and hides). Otherwise she's a pretty go with the flow kitty.

I think I would probably have more males in the future. If I decide I want more after these guys are gone. They are so much trouble most of the time that I may decide to try a house without pets later on in my life!


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## Dusty (Aug 28, 2010)

Huh, it's completely backward here.

Dusty, my little boy, used to be a cuddle-bunny. Now he only even likes to get petted when he first wakes up from a nap.. sometimes. Most of the time you try to pick him up, he squirms and cries until his paws are back on a solid surface. He always has his own things to do and can't be bothered to be loved, he's a very busy cat.

However, Bandit, my little girl, is always looking to be held! When she first wakes up in the morning - and then several other times throughout the day - she cries and circles my feet until I pick her up and hold her.
She is pretty finicky about it, though. You cannot cradle her, she has to have her front feet on your elbow to be used as a pillow. If you try to hold her while you're sitting, she'll jump out of your arms and run away. She requires that you stand for a half hour and pet her while she sleeps - so I guess she can still fall under b!tchy ;-)


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## Meker (Nov 8, 2010)

My female is very affectionate, loves to have all the attention. She isn't a lap cap, but will rub and follow you everywhere. My boy is more independent but loooves to cuddle.


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## reprot (Nov 11, 2004)

I have two males and two females. Although the males follow me everywhere they do not demand my attention like my females.


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## rketto (Aug 22, 2010)

My little girl is a cuddlebug but also very feisty and playful. I noticed she is the one who gets "mad" easier, like if I leave for hours she seems more offended than my little boy, who is more of a layaround and loves to be held and comforted all the time... but he's a wiggle worm and never can sit still when you want to cuddle with him!

Also, she seems to want to have more attention sometimes, especially if she sees me holding her brother. She also is more of a daredevil than her brother and less likely to listen when I tell her "no".


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## Lu_Bloodmoon (Oct 25, 2010)

I admit that when we started to think about owning a cat, our first cat btw, I was more inclined to get a female because I always had the idea that they were more affectionate and docile (don't know where I got this idea really, might be related to the fact of having had a female dog some years ago and she was the most sweet and docile). We ended up with a male cat because my boyfriend felt very strong about having a male cat.

As I say, this is my first cat so I cannot contribute a lot with an opinion but I can say that at the end it was a good/wise decision because our male kitten is the most sweet cat, very affectionate, following us around to every corner of the apartment, demanding a lot of attention and company. He's not a lap cat but he always wants to be sit or laid next to us. On rare occasions he jumps to my lap and stays there for a quick nap but never for a long time.


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

Well, I myself can't give a fair comparison as my male is still skittish. But yes, I see the general gist here. It seems the females are more 'queens' and the males are their eunuch followers....at least that's what it looks like it's going to be in my household.... Miu the Queen with two male eunuchs...Cap'n Jack and Rocky the dog. She's got it made.


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## love.my.cats (Jan 29, 2009)

Meeka has just turned 2 and it's only been the last few months she's become really affectionate. She has never been nasty, has never hissed/swatted us and has always been really outgoing but she was never a lap cat.. Until now. She used to sit on the other lounge while Samson (ginger male) would snuggle and get as close as possible to us. She now snuggles with us too and sometimes even pushes Sammy off our laps so she can get attention.


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## ChelleBelle (Sep 14, 2009)

I've had three cats and they are all females. My current two are ah... witchy at times. But both are lap cats with me and soak up the cuddles. Both also have their buttons and will pull a hissy when they don't want to be touched. My other cat that passed on was the sweetest creature I ever had the pleasure of meeting. She never growled, hissed, or harmed anyone. She'd follow me and my father around the house and just wait until she could curl up in your lap and purr for hours. 

My old cat and me did move in with a room mate once with two cats of her own. A female and male. The female was very laid back and sweet in her own way. The male? God, demon spawn. You could ONLY pet his head, and even then you had to basically bribe him. He bit, swatted, and over all acted the brat. He seriously turned me off on male cats until my best friend adopted a stray male kitten last year. He's such a sweetie pie he made me realize that my old roommate's cat was just a downright mean cat.


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

love.my.cats said:


> Meeka has just turned 2 and it's only been the last few months she's become really affectionate. She has never been nasty, has never hissed/swatted us and has always been really outgoing but she was never a lap cat.. Until now. She used to sit on the other lounge while Samson (ginger male) would snuggle and get as close as possible to us. She now snuggles with us too and sometimes even pushes Sammy off our laps so she can get attention.


I like reading about cats that initially didn't sit on laps, but then changed their stripes, so to speak. It gives me hope! Muffin, who's now 20 months, has never sat on my lap, but I keep hoping someday she'll change her mind.


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## MowMow (Nov 6, 2010)

My male (cat that is) has no independence whatsoever. He's always got to be with me and touching me. Example..right now he's sitting next to the keyboard with one paw resting on my nose. I'm not sure WHY that makes him feel better.

Unless I can slip away while he's sleeping (that only works in the middle of the night) I've always got company wherever I go.

My ex's cat was a male and he wasn't like that at all. He was way more aggressive and independent that would rather be left alone unless HE wanted attention and by attention he meant "DOn't touch me, just hold still so I can suck up some body heat."


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## love.my.cats (Jan 29, 2009)

Susan said:


> I like reading about cats that initially didn't sit on laps, but then changed their stripes, so to speak. It gives me hope! Muffin, who's now 20 months, has never sat on my lap, but I keep hoping someday she'll change her mind.


Hopefully Muffin does change her mind, we have no idea what changed for Meeka but we're not complaining! She's still not _as_ affectionate as Sammy but I think if we had two of them trying to touch our faces and dribbling all over the place it might get to be a bit too much. Hehe


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## oceanmonster (Dec 3, 2009)

I know this isn't true for all cats, but for some reason, all the male cats I encounter tend to be much friendlier than the female cats. No idea why. It must be a big coincidence, but that's also why I usually try to adopt male cats.


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## kittywitty (Jun 19, 2010)

In my experience, all my female kitties tended to be more affectionate with males. I think it's a male-female attraction thing.


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

Shrugs. Maybe the magic word is neuter? Are we comparing uneutered males with females? or neutered males with females?


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## Kobster (Feb 1, 2007)

I have to say, even the un-neutered toms that i would TNR were always much nicer and easier to handle than the females. I think its just down to what males and females were made to do.

The male is the lover boy, his goal is to make any much love with as many girls as possible. You have to have the suave moves and laid back temperament to win over the ladies....

meanwhile, the girls have all the work, they have to care for all those kittens, protect them, feed them, train them, gah! A mothers work is never done. You have to be a bit of a witch to raise sextuplets. I mean, look at Kate Gosslin!


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Wow, with her personality, Kate must have had 7 or 8 litters.


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## Kobster (Feb 1, 2007)

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Good one!


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

Hey Kobster, I think you got it! It's along the lines of what my vet told me.

The vet was hilarious when he was explaining to me about Jack. He said he's all puffy because of his hormones. He had to look all Arnold Schwarzenegger-like so he can attract the ladies.


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## kittywitty (Jun 19, 2010)

LOL good one about the suave male kitty needing to attract the females. Arnold Schwarzengger kitty bring it on!!


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## teasha (Aug 15, 2010)

Many cats have come and gone at the shelter since I have been there. Males tend to be more affectionate and friendly. Females more independant and offstandish. Especially calicos and torties. 

But there is always an exception to the rule.


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## koobe (Nov 8, 2009)

I really can't tell right now, since we just got a female 10 days ago.
Our 2 boys have been really affectionate. Cheetah will come rub on my face, lick me sometimes, lying between me and my keyboard, or on my mouse holding hand. 
Panther is not that proactive, but when I sit down, he will come sit on my lap 6 out of 10 times. And I have trained him, if I pat my lap or the sofa two times, he knows I want him to get here. Cheetah and Panther are both neutered.

So now we have Mui Mui, she is 3 months old and spayed. She is really affectionate. She welcomes us when we go into the safe room. She will jump on our laps and lay in front of the keyboard. She also sleeps with us since day 1.

My cats are just affectionate


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