# Part of the deal



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Yes, I know it's part of the deal, and I know I shouldn't give the strays names and relate to each of them personally and uniquely, but when one so close to my heart disappears (and they all are), it's so painful.

And we never know what happened. She might've gotten lucky and been adopted, or unlucky and poisoned. There are no predators here and she wasn't run over by a car or I would've heard of it (she never left the entrance to our building). Or like it's happened with other strays I cared for during years, then I bumped into them a long time after, they'd just decided to change territory and go live where someone who often feeds tuna has her feeding station.

Not knowing is the worst feeling - you can't even have the luxury of mourning.

I miss her terribly. With every pet to another cat, I miss petting her; so much it hurts.


----------



## Justteri1000 (May 27, 2013)

I am so sorry. The quiet love and companionship of cats gives me a feeling of almost a spiritual connection......their absence makes it that much more evident.


----------



## howsefrau32 (Mar 6, 2013)

Straysmommy said:


> Yes, I know it's part of the deal, and I know I shouldn't give the strays names and relate to each of them personally and uniquely, but when one so close to my heart disappears (and they all are), it's so painful.
> 
> And we never know what happened. She might've gotten lucky and been adopted, or unlucky and poisoned. There are no predators here and she wasn't run over by a car or I would've heard of it (she never left the entrance to our building). Or like it's happened with other strays I cared for during years, then I bumped into them a long time after, they'd just decided to change territory and go live where someone who often feeds tuna has her feeding station.
> 
> ...


I'm so sorry. I can imagine how you feel. I have been feeding a stray for about a year and a half now, and those few mornings that she wasn't there, I had the worst pain in my gut. Luckily, she showed up again. But I live with that fear too, that she will be gone one day. I will be just as devastated as what you are feeling right now. I am so sorry. This is what I like to remind myself though. When I first started caring for my feral, she wouldn't even let me near her much less touch her. Now, I can pet her all over, sort of half pick her up, scratch her chin....AND, my neighbor who walks her dog every night, the cat is in love with their dog and follows them on their entire walk.Well, now the neighbor carries treats with her and feeds the cat, and is now able to pet her also. I also found out another neighbor is able to pet her. So I keep thinking, I just be one day someone will invite her in....and she would probably go. And maybe she will become the cat of someone else in the neighborhood. Maybe that is what happened to your cat? Maybe someone felt sorry for her being outside, and maybe didn't have any other cats, or just recently lost one, and they took her in and she is living the good life. I know not knowing must be awful, but it could be that she did find someone. Still, I know how I would feel, and I am so sorry. I would be just like you are, so sad.


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Thank you for your kind words. 

We'd gotten especially close the last few days, I'd pet and brush her for a long time and she'd bliss out. I can still feel her fur in my hands....

She was a permanent sight around the building, always running to me whenever I passed by, even if not hungry. More a yard cat than a stray. Maybe I turned her too trusting... 

I haven't lost hope of seeing her again. The worst is the feeling of impotence, because there's nothing I can try. I'm going to ask the other feeder 1 block from me, where Chiquita used to eat before she met me, maybe she's seen her. 

housefrow, I wonder why some cats some days don't show up, what causes that?


----------



## Cara (Jul 5, 2013)

Oh that must be so hard! I've got my fingers crossed that she shows up again!


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

oh, I hope she turns up after a wonderful adventure with a wonderful story to tell. Or, at the very least has been adopted by someone and you are told! I know it must be hard. Strays are extremely uncommon in my neighborhood - I have only seen a couple in the 19 years I've lived here. I can't imagine living where they were a fact of life. I would be grief stricken constantly by the comings and goings of them. :sad


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

I've been lucky so far with a group of 6 that have stuck for 3 years. But I know I have to toughen up and be always prepared to not see them again. We're many feeders here, so to vary the food sometimes the cats vary the feeder, LOL


----------



## howsefrau32 (Mar 6, 2013)

I live with that same fear, that one day Arwen will not be there, and I may never know why. This hits me so hard, because I really fear that too. I always wonder the same thing, have I made her too trusting and someone snatched her? 

I think the few times that Arwen has not shown up, one instance was New Years day, after fireworks. She was terrified and I didn't see her for two days. Another time, I never did figure why. But one day, she completely flipped out. She spends a lot of time sleeping in the bushes of my neighbor who lives across the street. My neighbor said she was born there, and she has never minded her hanging out in her yard, so Arwen spends lots of time in her beautiful yard. Well anyway, they were having the house treated for termites about 5 months ago, and there was a truck that looked a lot like the dog catcher truck.....she is obviously famliar with it, and she was crawling on her belly, and shaking all over with fear, and hiding behind me. I kept petting her and tried to calm her, and I did a little, but I was able to see how terrified she was of this truck....which was weird because she has no reaction to the garbage truck, the UPS truck, the mailman, the school busses, but this truck she just shook with fear. She has also has a fear of helicopters, but nearly as bad as this pest control truck she saw. So the day I that truck was at my neighbors, treating their termites, she spent the entire day huddled in the bushes of my house instead, in fact, she didn't go back over there for several days after that. 

We also have had several occasions of other stray cats in the neighborhood coming and trying to steal her food, which is why I watch her while she eats, to make sure that doesn't happen. She has also fought with them on occasion, and she is a very small girl, and these cats are big. I think the few times she has been missing, it's because of these cats. 

I know I have not helped at all. I can't imagine how bad you must be feeling, but just try to think that maybe, since your cat has gotten really sweet that maybe someone did take the cat into their home, it is just possible that that did happen, very likely even. I know me, if I had a kitty come up to me and I fed it for a few days, and I thought it was homeless and in need, and I didn't already have cats in my house, I would not hesitate to take that cat into my home. Maybe someone else has been giving this cat food or treats and so the cat has been hanging there, and was finally invited in. It is a very likely possibility.


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Thank you so much for sharing this story about Arwen, I really hope Chiquita will come back, or at least that I'll see or hear about her alive and well somewhere.


----------



## lyle (Oct 28, 2010)

Sorry about your runaway. I know you might think the worse, but it's just as likely ( more likely, I believe) that she just moved on for reasons only she knows. Squiggy ran off and ended up with a nice lady several blocks away. It doesn't make the separation any less painful when they leave, but cats have free will and strays/ferals especially hear a calling we can only guess at. Peace to you.


----------



## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

So sorry to hear this. I know the feeling when they dont show back up. Or they show up a couple months later and your relieved but want to lecture them (if they only understood) to never take off without notifying me! Lyle is right. There is just a good of chance they are with someone else somewhere. Ill bet it is probably the case!


----------

