# How to socialize my cat? long..



## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

Hello all!

I Got my 1.5yo Bengal cat just last week from a breeder and she's quite skidish. I realize she's probably stressed out about the environment change and I've done whatever i can to make her feel more comfortable and less stressed, but the issue is a bit more than just relating to the home change.

The problem is that where i got her from, she wasn't really socialized properly, even the old owner couldn't pick her up. She wasn't home very much so the cat hasn't been really used to people i guess. She told me she would accept petting on her own terms but for the most part wasn't all that approachable.
I'm sure there is no quick fix, i have the time and patience but i'm wondering if there are other things i can do that will help?

Initially i put her in my bedroom with her crate and blanket even though she could have come out she stayed in there the whole night that i know of. She eventually made her way out the next day and now hides under the couch in the living room. She comes out to eat or use the litter and the odd time walks around to investigate or will return to my room and hides out in my closet.

I've been giving her space, i slightly ignore her when she comes out of hiding and go about my things to not spook her, but if i come anywhere near her she tends to run off away from me. I do talk to her, I have been able to and have done this multiple times daily, luring her out with cooked chicken pieces and she will take food from my hands but once it's done she's off again. I was able to pet her for a few minutes last night without incident but she did initially growl.

Do you think things will get better in time? to the point where i could sit on the couch and she'd sit next to me and let me pet her, or even sleep in my bed with me at night? I'm optimistic, but realistically..will it happen? is it to late?


Thanks


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## sheiladoreen (Jul 11, 2014)

She will definitely get better in time but she may always be a "shy" cat, you won't know until she gets comfortable with you.

It sounds like you have a good strategy with hand-feeding and slightly ignoring her. Do your best not to make any sudden movements or noises that might stress her. To help her along, get a wand toy like "Da Bird" (we buy ours at Dollarama, cheap little things but they do the trick) and play with her. 

It will take time and lots of patience. We're going on 6 weeks with our guy who wasn't socialized much with humans. He's still very skiddish (especially around my boyfriend) btu he's slowly opening up. Just give it time, eventually she'll figure out that you're there for food/litter cleaning/fun (all the good stuff) and not there to hurt or scare her.

We tried some different body language techniques, like being near him without looking at him and talking softly. We also tried the "slow blinks" with him. I have no idea if they worked, but it felt nice to do something instead of sitting idly. You may want to limit her surroundings- confine her to a safe room where you can spend some time with her each day. The alone time will let her get to know that room first, and then you can slowly introduce her to other areas. We did this with our guy- he wouldn't come out from under the bed (don't forcibly remove them from their safe places) so we would leave food across the room, shut the lights off and leave. When we would go back in later we'd see the food was gone, so we knew it got him out and checking things out. Slowly but surely


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## librarychick (May 25, 2008)

She's hardly been with you for any time at all, she'll definitely improve - at least with you.

Rather than continuing to let her have free range of the house I'd restrict her to one room for quite a while, until you see a big improvement in confidence. A whole house has way too many hiding spots, and since you can't safely grab her that's just a bad idea.

Wait until she goes back to your closet, then shut the door to your room and plan to keep her confined there for at least a month, maybe two or more. With her in a smaller space she'll be able to become more comfortable with you and your smells/sounds than in the whole house. Especially since she'll be close while you're sleeping. Don't stress her, it sounds like you're on the right track with luring her out and ignoring her - that's perfect.

She should gradually improve with you, but don't worry about picking her up or anything else until she's much more confident and has learned to trust you. That could be a long time. It took Jitzu over a year to trust me enough that I could pick her up comfortably.

One thing that helps a lot with anxious kitties is to read out loud to them - they get the chance to get used to your voice without the stress of eye contact.


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## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

What generation Bengal is she? Some are more wild than others even in the later generations. Try confining her to a single room, have everything in there for her, and spend time reading a loud, sitting on a laptop, etc. while sitting on the ground. Don't make eye contact, it is seen as a threat. Offer treats by hand and use wand toys from a distance. Don't let her out until she seems more comfortable around you - it could take weeks or months. Do not let her have a place to hide like the closet, yii need to be able to interact with her when you're in the same room, nothing bigger than a cubbyhole hole... the cat should know you could reach them at any time (to hurt them) but that you are not.


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## olywhizz (Mar 25, 2014)

good luck im sure your cat will come to love you soon


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## howsefrau32 (Mar 6, 2013)

I agree that this is why it is better to let them get accustomed to one room first. They are able to look around that room, get used to it, and it's closed up so they are safe. Then after they get used to that small space, they eventually will venture out of that space and explore the rest of the house. Then that room becomes their safe place that they will run to when they are scared. That and just give her time. It's good to do like you said and ignore her a little bit. Don't make any drastic moves to try to call her or try to pet or handle her. Once she knows that you are not going to try to handle her, she will start to trust you. If you go out of your way though to try to handle her or be near her while she is scared, she will try to avoid you. She's been through a traumatic experience, and sounds like she has never learned to trust someone yet. Patience is the key. That and food. Feed her good food, sit in the same room with her, and let her know that you are not a threat to her, and you are the one providing her with food, and she will learn to trust you. But this cannot be rushed. It is entirely up to the cat as to how long that will take. It could be 2 weeks, it could be a year. I was able to tame a completely feral cat this way. It took a long time, and it was baby steps all the way. But so worth it.


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## Mochas Mommy (Dec 9, 2013)

I echo what everyone else is saying. 
Was she a breeder if she was 1.5 years old? If so, she is going to be a lot more skittish as people haven't generally been her friend (except to throw food in the cage). 

Bengals, even SBT, are a lot "wilder" and independent. She will come to you on her own terms. Just sit in the room and talk to her...make no movements towards her (petting, etc) unless she shows she is ready. Bengals LOVE to be high up, so make sure she has posts, shelves, etc to climb onto. Give her something of yours to smell. My kittens all love freeze dried treats...you can buy the ones in the dog food section as well....they are all 100% meat, just seem to be better variety/pricing in dog sections. After she loves them....rub your hands all over, getting your scent on it, then offer it to her. Finally, offer it to her yourself...if she loves it like my bengals, she will be eating out of your hand by then! 
Just sit in the room with her, read aloud or just talk to her...she will come around to "inspect" sooner or later. Let her do that on her own terms. 

Good luck! Bengals are a beautiful cat. Really looking forward to your photos!


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

I had put her in my room the first night with the intentions of confining her to the room but i left for work that morning and when the hubby got up, he let her run out, not knowing any better. And like i said since she's been hiding under the couch i haven't been able to get her back into the room and i can't really catch her to bring her back. Both times ive noticed she was in my room closet, is because she bolted out as i was walking in the room and went for the couch both times.. I'll tippy toe to the room and close the room door next time i think she's in there for sure. 

There are other concerns i have...she might be pregnant. I wont go into much details right now other than to say i did purchase her with breeding rights and i was told she **might** be 2 weeks preggo ( now would be 3 weeks) which is a problem since i wont be able to pick her up, i can manage to get her to the crate for a vet run, but not without completely stressing her out and a good chase which i'd rather avoid doing in this case. I've always had very social cats so dealing with this is all new to me. She was doing "ok" in her previous home, things just amplified with the move so it didn't quite end up as i expected. 

As for generation i wouldn't be able to tell you exactly but i can go back 6 generations on her, so can scratch that out. I just think it's more she was left with other cats 23/7 and never got used to being around people so much. I can speculate as much as i want i just don't know. Her other kitties seemed friendly and accepted being petted etc no problem except the stud, he was somewhat skidish too.


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## librarychick (May 25, 2008)

If she's possibly pregnant then it is crucial you get her confined to one room. One without unreachable hiding spots. If you don't have a spare bedroom you can empty out a bathroom will serve.

If there's even a possibility that she's pregnant you can't let her run free in your home, especially being as skittish as she is. What if she were to have the kittens somewhere inaccessible? It just isn't safe.

At this point, with the info we've been given, I'm pretty sure you bought her from a BYB - basically a breeder who's in it for the money. No responsible breeder would let a cat go that might be pregnant, let alone one this skittish. Unfortunately, that leave you to step up and care for her. TBH She should have been spayed before you received her...and I'd still be tempted to consider taking her to the vet and spaying her anyways.

A very skittish pregnant cat can easily turn in to an aggressively-defensive mother. THAT is a very bad situation.

*sigh* For now do the best you can to confine her, if you truly can't catch her or lure her into a bathroom (a train of goodies might work?) then borrowing a trap might be the next step. She needs to be confined, for her own safety as well as a good chance of getting her calmed down and settled in. You don't have months to play a patient game, not with kittens possibly OTW.

I'll also add that while you may have paid for breeding rights, breeding a skittish cat will increase the chances of skittish kittens. If you are interested in breeding then you need to start with a calm and stable female. Breeding means you will be responsible for those little lives, and part of that means doing everything you can to start them off right. Including choosing the right parents - healthy (beyond a simple basic vet check), mentally stable and calm, and good representatives of their breed as decided by cat shows. NOT "I have two pretty cats so I should make pretty cat babies I can sell for $$$." There is so much more to it than that.


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## Mochas Mommy (Dec 9, 2013)

Were her other kitties breeders or kittens she was going to sell?

If she spent 1.5 years of her life without human interaction for 23 hours a day, she will take some time to socialize. Just be patient with her...she hasn't had positive human interactions. If she is a breeder, she will be even more skittish as she will associate lots of human interaction with the visitations of people adopting (stealing in her mind) her kittens.


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

We can all speculate and it's easy to do so without knowing every detail of what's happened. In her home the cats walk freely and own the house pretty much. They were all friendly and never hid, *in her home*. My girl and the stud would walk away if i tried to pet them probably because they didn't know me, maybe she was scared of my hubby as she wasn't around many male humans? who knows? speculations is all it is even on my end, i speculated that she wasn't well socialized because the lady told me she worked 12 hour days, although it may very well be and now it's been blown out of proportion.. SHE didn't have problem touching any of her cats, but did mention my girl not liking to be picked up. I don't think neither of us thought it was a big deal doing the transfer, changes in ones life will alter their state, it's expected. we both new the cat would be skidish around me in my home.

I came on here to get help dealing with the issue at hand explaining things the best i could in the event she is pregnant especially, the move and loosing her friends/ family etc couldn't have been the best experience for her and i want to help the situation. I don't really want to hear your speculations about the breeder etc okie!


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Sorry, you're going to hear it all here, that's the good and bad thing about public forums. Especially since *you* said she wasn't socialized properly.


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## librarychick (May 25, 2008)

Well that's fine, but the result is a cat you can't handle, who may be pregnant. My advice still stands. She needs to be moved to a single room without areas she can get to that you can't reach her.

My advice on her future breeding also stands. Anxious mothers are more likely to bear anxious children. Cats are already over populated so purposefully breeding cats who are more likely to be anxious or hard to handle isn't a thing a responsible breeder does.

I would absolutely love it if in a month your girl completely settled in and was amazingly sweet and loving, but the simple fact is that we just don't know if that will happen or not and you need to do what's best for this girl and her possible kittens. That means finding a way to confine her and seriously considering if a cat with this temperament is the best possible choice for future breeding - including the fact that she'll need to go for numerous tests and vet visits. 


Bengals are prone to both HCM and PKD. Breeding cats should be tested. 
https://www.vgl.ucdavis.edu/services/cat/HCM.php
https://www.vgl.ucdavis.edu/services/pkdeficiency.php


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

I admit i did say things of that nature but mostly followed by "*i guess*" or "*i think*" such as - *quote* :she wasn't really socialized properly, even the old owner couldn't pick her up. She wasn't home very much so the cat hasn't been really used to people *i guess.*
But again this is speculation done of my part as to "why" she might be skidish, not the confirmed reason why and or to what extent. I'm just describing the best i can and what i've seen and experienced thus far to better help accommodate my new kitty. Seems people are quick to jump at pointing fingers and making comments based on assumtions from my assumptions.. haha

This lady came highly recomended, she shows and has won many ribbons from showing. Descendants of gogees, asiafauve & abundadots etc.. 

Anywhos! the point is kittie is skidish atm and i'd rather that be the focus of the thread


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

Obviously kitties best interest is in mind, that's why i'm here after all. I will do whatever is needed to help her settle in, i just wanted more suggestions as to how and to really know if realistically she will trust and be at ease etc... that's all...


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## Mochas Mommy (Dec 9, 2013)

I have bengals....I am being mentored for breeding and showing them. I've been to several catteries and very few breeding bengals are well socialized. They are as kittens, when they are sweet, cute, not calling, and not spraying walls. However, once they reach maturity and start spraying (and I mean SPRAYING - including the females), they often are put into a single room, a "breeding cage", or, if fortunate, a nice cattery designed for their needs. But they don't get the same human interaction as a pet cat who is allowed free reign in a house. Even a breeder wtih free reign in a house probably has some restrictions on it (who wants a cat spraying their bed or clothes in their closet?)

Your post mentions your kitty was given the run of the house. My first question then is did the house smell strongly of cat urine? If not, I doubt those cats were given the run of the house and the socialization that comes with that. 

Can she realistically learn to trust and be at ease with you....yes. But, as others have suggested, there is a long process to that. You are not 100% confident of the socialization this cat has had...the other suggestions are correct...even for a cat that is well socialized and in a new home....they need time and space to get used to their new area. 

So start at square one....isolate in a single room. Give her everything she needs in that room and spend some time with her each day. Do not start by approaching her...just sit in the room, talk to her, read out loud....let her approach you on her terms. I often will put my glasses down so the kitty can smell me on them (if you don't wear glasses, sunglasses or a hat or something you wear a lot). Step 2: play with her with a wand toy but don't force her to come near you...just play and talk or sing. When she is comfortable with that, then lay down on her level and slow blink at her....push some treats towards her, talking in a calm voice.

Right now, you need to spend a lot of time with her to gain her trust...because that is the ONLY way you are going to be able to tell if she is pregnant or not. 

Have you talked to her previous breeder about who she may have been mated with? Will these potential kittens be purebreds and able to be registered? OR will they be altered and sold without registration? (As someone mentioned above, it is really not normal for a breeder to sell a purebred who is pregnant....bengals are very expensive cats and a few more months would mean a lot more money...so I'd doublecheck back with the breeder.) Lastly, if you are planning to breed her, then you may want to consider registering with TICA as a cattery and individual....and requesting a mentor to help you with managing breeding purebreds. There is a LOT involved and it is very expensive! If you aren't planning to breed her, then I would suggest talking with your vet about when best to alter her. Bengal females are not a "cup of tea" when they are calling! If you have any specific questions, feel free to PM me.


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

I visited this breeders house and was there most of the day and have seen each room, the upstairs bedroom doors stay closed but the rest of the house is the cats playground and yes, it smells, quite strong so I can sure you they are not caged! If she if pregnant, it was from the one and only stud she has, he is registered and I have a copy of his CCA and TICA information so I will be registering them and would plan on homing them registered and fixed. She was downsizing and had 2 up for adoption as she found it a bit overwhelming to have so many but I can't say for sure why she would let a potentially pregnant female go, perhaps it's not all about the money after all? Who knows! I have started filling out papers to register a cattery, still stuck on choosing a name, such simple things hehe! She was friendly and helpful and I plan on keeping in touch with her but I do appreciate any help and better sense of direction. I've researched a lot about breeding and what it involves but still have much to learn and experience! I am aware of health testing which they are, the costs etc.. And I can assure you that my intensions are good! I worked for the SPCA in my younger years, I am quite aware of the problems with over populations etc. i have some good knowledge but the cup isn't full yet so I am very much grateful for any help, tips and suggestions you may have! I'm on board!


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## Mochas Mommy (Dec 9, 2013)

My BIGGEST suggestion is to go onto the TICA site and request a breeder mentor then. Within 24 hours I had mine and she is fabulous. There are a lot of things you do with a breeder/show cat that is different from just having cats. This continues to be a very steep learning curve for me! 

Let the breeder know you suspect the dam is expecting; she may have some information for you about that....and if it is her sire that did the deed. You have to be 100% certain of the parentage before you can register and I really don't think you can register the sire without the owner's permission. (Otherwise anyone with a purebred female who breeds could register the litter and use any registered sire's name.)


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## jusjim (Jun 30, 2009)

What sort of toys do you use when you play with her? Any wand toy so that she recognises you as somebody interactive? I'm going to go against some of the advice given. Allow her to wander and have a place to hide. Cats understand doors and don't like to be shut out. If there's a room you don't want her going in, invite her in for an inspection tour before shutting her out.


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## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

Any breeder selling a cat that MIGHT be pregnant is no "breeder" at all, they're scum selling cats to make money and have no interest or investment in the actual cats, or bettering the breed. As is evident here by the fact that they're:

1) Breeding a skittish cat (BIG no-no)
2) SELLING a possibly pregnant cat (unheard of!)
3) Clearly must not know no is mating with who if they don't don't know their cat is pregnant (also UNHEARD of! males and females are kept separated!)
4) Selling a cat "with breeding rights" to someone off the street

Everything combined, please do NOT breed this cat, nothing good can come of breeding a skittish cat of unknown pedigree; has she even been genetically tested? There are enough cats in the world as it is... like upwards of 80 million on the streets of America alone.


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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

Andabella,
I'm not going to get into any "head thumping".
What's done is done...
Carmel does bring up one important thing...Genetic testing!!
Even in domestic cats, if inner breeding is occurring, you run into problems with still births, deformities, severe health issues and mental instabilities...not something you would want to experience first hand!
So if the Stud is her father....and she is pregnant by him...some things may not go very well...
That's why Genetic testing is so important! The Stud needs testing and she needs testing!!
Mocha'sMommy has done everything right, she and her hubby did a ton of research, and knew what they were getting into, long before they brought the first one home!!
She has already invited you to PM her with any questions!
I am wishing you the Best of Luck and if you're patient enough, you may well be able to "tame" your girl!
Sharon


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

I woke up in a pretty good mood today despite the heavy rains and terrible weather. I was excited to come on here and talk about kitties progress. I logged in and was slightly disgusted by carmel's post. I mentioned before i would prefer the focus be on the thread topic rather than immature name calling and *ASS*umptions. I can't help it wonder if Carmel even read most the thread. The kitties are health tested, the kitties are registered CCA & TICA, i personally called TICA to double check everything and have been able to view 6 generations for both my kitty and the stud, none of the queens or studs are in anyway related and she only has the ONE stud so if she is pregnant, there can only be one father. I have mentioned this before but i guess it was overlooked, or ignored, you see what you want to see, not what's actually in front of you. So claiming unknown pedigree on your part is bs. Selling to someone off the streets... like im a bum? Is that was your classifying me as? like a degenerate? i'm curious... I have a career and work for the government, i own my home, i have worked for the SPCA and have done much volunteer work with them and shelters as well as veterinarians, I have researched breeding which is why it's taken me thins long to actually get into it.. what do i need a breeding licence? a degree in breeding? please tell me oh great one, what would appease you? Most breeders only sell breeding rights to other breeders.. so how is anyone supposed to get into breeding if they aren't given the opportunity? There is next to no breeders in my area that even have registered cats, and mind you i could have gone that route if my intentions were less than honest. I found an opportunity and i was fortunate and your making it out to look like some kind of horrific thing. 

I stated the cat is skidish or not well socialized, never did i claim she was feral and aggressive or off the streets you assumed the extent of the skidish-ness as highly elevated.. and it got turned into a she's a BYB scum??? I've called you out on several very inaccurate statements you've made here , so please don't post anymore on my thread, nothing you've said is in anyway accurate and in anyway helpful to me, like hot air. Thank you. 

Anyways, on to the good part. 
i went home after work and cleaned out my bedroom, removed anything she could hide in or under and placed little beds, toys and food. I was expecting she'd go in at any point and id spend the night in there with her. I waited.. and waited sitting on the couch and she came out and sat under the TV. I took my chance at some interaction so i took out the bag of temptations and lured her to me and such.. when she had enough she went back under the tv. I got up and sat back on the couch expecting her to go touring around..but no..she didn't.. instead this is what happened...
:smiles Day 6 she's napping 4 feet away from me


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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

Andabella, One things for sure, She's a Little Beauty!! And that's a good start with her!!


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## librarychick (May 25, 2008)

marie73 said:


> Sorry, you're going to hear it all here, that's the good and bad thing about public forums. Especially since *you* said she wasn't socialized properly.


The thing about PUBLIC forums is that they're public. Just because someone says something you disagree with doesn't mean you get to tell them to go away. Thats just not how it works - and one of our mods already ponted that out.

Besides, Carmel was reiterating a few points I made that you *chose to ignore.[/]

YOU might know about your breeder and how great they are. WE only have your word (and you're new, so we just dont know you yet) and the evidence.

The fact is that you have an extremely skittish and possibly pregnant female. Neither of those things speak of a reputable and responsible breeder. They make it look very bad. The thing about this forum is that one of our goals is the educate people to make better choices in the future and to do the best possible for their cats. Sometimes that means toes get stepped on.



Andabella22;2072410 There is next to no breeders in my area that even have registered cats said:



...you could have driven farther away. Having a 'breeder' be so skittish you can't touch her is a terrible sign. Not only is she too skittish to be bred, IMO, stress is VERY bsd for her and the kits she may be carrying. THAT is why we're coming down on your breeder - she might ne very good, but that doesn't make rehoming a pregnant queen any more of a good idea. It just means she should know better.

Click to expand...

*


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

I understand the fact that it is public and the point is getting different views, perspectives, ideas, suggestions and opinions etc.. and that's exactly what i registered here for. But the fact remains that my topic was about helping me earn Satin's trust during this difficult transition, not to hear negative speculations of the breeder she is from, that is considered trolling. If that is your intent right off the bat then create a new thread in the appropriate area about that specific topic and i will gladly provide more details and air it out, that would be more respectful don't you agree? I'm completely fine with people disagreeing with me, we are all individuals with different views, what i'm saying is the thread was not called " lets bash bella's breeder" but rather "helping socialize Satin" and would prefer to keep it as such, why is that so wrong? I've been respectful and have tried to explain the situation but it's really been blown out of proportion as to how skidish she is and then completely taken off track. I realize i'm new, no one knows me, but does that automatically make me a bad person and need to be grilled? Whatever happened to the benefit of the doubt? There is much that can be debated and i fear that no matter the answers given it wont be sufficient or satisfactory. You have a right to your opinions and thoughts on the matter but it's not necessary to invade the thread with unfounded claims completely unrelated to it's topic. 

Again off topic but.. I could have driven to other breeders further away yes that is true but during my researching, as mentioned already, they all specify they sell breeding right kitties to breeders, so driving all the way out there would have been of no help to me, right? If you have more unrelated questions feel free to pm me. 

Going back to the topic, 
As seen in the picture, she's relaxed enough to sleep close to me so things are going well. This morning after my shower while getting ready in the bathroom she made her way in to investigate what i was doing. Things are looking good!!!


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## librarychick (May 25, 2008)

Andabella22 said:


> I've been respectful and have tried to explain the situation but it's really been blown out of proportion as to how skidish she is and then completely taken off track.


I don't think anyone has 'blown out of proportion' how skittish she is. No one (except you) has said she was 'wild' or 'feral'. But the fact that you can't touch her and picking her right up is not an option gives us a baseline. She is a VERY skittish cat ATM. She may warm up to a certain extent, but if her previous owner couldn't pick her up she's still in the 'very anxious' category.



Andabella22 said:


> I realize i'm new, no one knows me, but does that automatically make me a bad person and need to be grilled? Whatever happened to the benefit of the doubt?


We get a LOT of new people who show up here wanting us to hold their hands and pat their heads and tell them that everything is going to work out just fine, even if they're doing all the wrong things.It gets old really fast. 

What that means for you is that we just don't know you. Benefit of the doubt is nice, but our main concern is for your cat, that means that if we're concerned you're planning on leaving her intact for breeding purposes you're going to get comments about it.

A lot of people here work, or have worked, with rescue groups. There just isn't a lot of good feeling for breeders who are anything less than stellar. We have high standards and if you stick around (which we would like, btw) and plan on breeding you WILL get opinions.



Andabella22 said:


> Again off topic but.. I could have driven to other breeders further away yes that is true but during my researching, as mentioned already, they all specify they sell breeding right kitties to breeders, so driving all the way out there would have been of no help to me, right? If you have more unrelated questions feel free to pm me.





Mochas Mommy said:


> My BIGGEST suggestion is to go onto the TICA site and request a breeder mentor then. Within 24 hours I had mine and she is fabulous. There are a lot of things you do with a breeder/show cat that is different from just having cats. This continues to be a very steep learning curve for me!


...This is great advice.



Andabella22 said:


> Going back to the topic,
> As seen in the picture, she's relaxed enough to sleep close to me so things are going well. This morning after my shower while getting ready in the bathroom she made her way in to investigate what i was doing. Things are looking good!!!


Also, here's the advice I have personally posted - I'll also mention that you didn't respond to ANY of it.



librarychick said:


> Rather than continuing to let her have free range of the house I'd restrict her to one room for quite a while, until you see a big improvement in confidence. A whole house has way too many hiding spots, and since you can't safely grab her that's just a bad idea.
> 
> Wait until she goes back to your closet, then shut the door to your room and plan to keep her confined there for at least a month, maybe two or more. With her in a smaller space she'll be able to become more comfortable with you and your smells/sounds than in the whole house. Especially since she'll be close while you're sleeping. Don't stress her, it sounds like you're on the right track with luring her out and ignoring her - that's perfect.
> 
> ...





librarychick said:


> *sigh* For now do the best you can to confine her, if you truly can't catch her or lure her into a bathroom (a train of goodies might work?) then borrowing a trap might be the next step. She needs to be confined, for her own safety as well as a good chance of getting her calmed down and settled in. You don't have months to play a patient game, not with kittens possibly OTW.


Many other members agreed that you should confine her, that's kitty basics. And yet she's still roaming free in your home and you haven't mentioned any attempt to try and confine here - even though it would help out a lot with her socialization.

Basically, when someone new shows up and asks for advice, then ignores it and gets mad when people voice concerns it doesn't go over like sunshine and rainbows.

I hope your kitty continues settling in.


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

As for your suggestion LibraryChick, as well as the other similar suggestions, i did take and i did mention my intent. 

"""Anyways, on to the good part. 
i went home after work and cleaned out my bedroom, removed anything she could hide in or under and placed little beds, toys and food. I was expecting she'd go in at any point and id spend the night in there with her. I waited.. and waited sitting on the couch and she came out and sat under the TV. I took my chance at some interaction so i took out the bag of temptations and lured her to me and such.. when she had enough she went back under the tv. I got up and sat back on the couch expecting her to go touring around..but no..she didn't.. instead this is what happened..."" 

I DID indeed take the advise and i DID post about it this morning... i even took pics of my now very empty room, unfortunately she did not venture to the room on her own as she has done several times before so i was not able to confine her there, nothing i can do about it except be patient and try again today, please view pic. So please do not think for a second that any helpful tip given was ignored as this is completely false!!

The room looks quite empty now i've added a litter box in the other corner. I also have the kitty tunnel with dangling toys and a mini kitty tent that i haven't put in the room i wanted to make sure if i did get her in there that she wouldn't have anything to hide in or under.


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## sheiladoreen (Jul 11, 2014)

Glad she is coming out and being present! And hope she makes it into your safe room soon 

One thing that might help is adding something she _can_ hide in. It will make the room more appealing to her. Even pulling the bed out from the wall a bit so she can get in behind it. You need a spot where she feels safe and secure, but that you can access in a pinch. 

She is a gorgeous little kitty. Good luck with your breeding endeavours!


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

A box on its side with a little soft towel inside and a towel or small blanket draped over most of it would be perfect for her to "hide" in and be her safe place.


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

I do have a little kitty tent and put in a soft baby blanket inside. I wasn't sure if i should bring in it the room as i was under them impression the idea was for her to be exposed to learn that i am not a threat. I will add that to the room as well then. What about the kitty tunnel? I doubt she'd play with is but at least she'd have the option to do so.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

I think the tent would be perfect for now. She might be scared of the noise from the tunnel (if it's a crinkly one).


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## Jenny bf (Jul 13, 2013)

Do you have a cat tree? One of my cats, Lulu was a very timid cat and she seems to have always found comfort from being able to climb up high and look down on the room. Also it will always be used esp if placed by a window so the cat can see out. The tree we have is over 6ft high. Just to add Satin looks a lovely cat and I am glad to hear you Satin is slowly gaining confidence and trusting you, even if baby steps forward


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## sheiladoreen (Jul 11, 2014)

Andabella22 said:


> I wasn't sure if i should bring in it the room as i was under them impression the idea was for her to be exposed to learn that i am not a threat.


The issue if she is hiding somewhere very secure, where you can't get her, is that she knows she's unreachable and feels safe there. So she's not learning that you're not a threat, she's learning that she has a good hiding spot!

She'll be so nervous out in the open that it's better for have something for her to hide in so she feels safe, but not so hidden away (i.e. way back under a bed or in a crawlspace) that she knows you couldn't get her even if you tried.

And baby blankets are great! Our Pucc is a year and a half and we were visiting Grandma this weekend and he was kneading away and purring at a fuzzy baby blanket all by himself!! We have to get him one now because we've never seen him that in love with something before!


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

hehehe.. i have a few more fluffy baby blankets i can put around.. awesome! tent will go in tonight.

Also to answer the question about the cat tree, i have ordered one and waiting for delivery any day now. It's almost 6 feet, hope that does the trick. I'm excited and hope it fits in the area closest to the window, otherwise it will have to go next to my fish tank which is not bad, it's a 60gal tank so they'd have something to stare at while they relax in the tree! yee


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Holy crap! My cats just drooled on my keyboard!


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## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

If the breeders in your area don't have regisitered cats, then they aren't breeders. They're backyard breeders. Anyone breeding cats correctly belongs to either the TICA or CFA. You may not like hearing these things, but they are facts. A lot of us here have a lot of experiences with cats, from volunteer work to TNR work or taming ferals, even some that work in veterinary clinics or shelters. It's unfortunate if you don't like our advice, but our advice is sound.


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## cat owner again (Dec 14, 2012)

It sounds like you are well on your way and I wish you the best of luck. I have had skiddish animals before and it took a long time but they came around. And my Mama cat lets me pick her up but she will never like it. She puts out a sound that I can only imagine is what an animal being held by prey would sound like. And she does trust me and hangs with me all the time. There are shy people too.


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

Carmel said:


> If the breeders in your area don't have regisitered cats, then they aren't breeders. They're backyard breeders. Anyone breeding cats correctly belongs to either the TICA or CFA. You may not like hearing these things, but they are facts. A lot of us here have a lot of experiences with cats, from volunteer work to TNR work or taming ferals, even some that work in veterinary clinics or shelters. It's unfortunate if you don't like our advice, but our advice is sound.


I am very much aware of BYB and i have mentioned this already. Alot of the people around here who sell bengals can't even provide papers so i can imagine they're standing on health testing , zero! so i've stayed far from them. And this lady is registered with the above mentioned and are tested. One of very few. It's not that i don't appreciate the advice because on the contrary i am very happy to suck it all up..what you provided was more like banter about the breeder and not so much advice on the topic at hand in that particular post. I have listened to all the advice given and am doing my darndest to follow through with it all as humanly possible. Have faith!

On an another note.. work is done, heading home to see the kittayyyyys


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

marie73 said:


> Holy crap! My cats just drooled on my keyboard!


That made me LOL


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

YOu received lots of good suggestions, here's any one you may consider. Use her carrier in the room as_ her hiding/safe place_. Place some treats in it a couple of times a day to get her used to going in it when you aren't in the room. When you are in the room you can toss in a piece of chicken or cheese in the carrier....make sure she sees you tossing it in. Just let her go in it on her own time, make sure the door is left open and not swinging....tape it to the carrier if you have to. Eventually she'll go willingly into the carrier for a treat, and it will be easier then for you to take her to the vet when you need to. Cover the carrier to keep her calm when travelling.


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## jusjim (Jun 30, 2009)

catloverami said:


> or cheese in the carrier....
> 
> make sure she sees you tossing it in.


Careful with the cheese. Missy, an older cat, loves it, but it makes her sick; as does milk.

I always try to make sure Missy knows anything good comes from me.

By the way, Missy is always allowed to sniff at stuff that comes into the house. A quick sniff is all she wants, mostly. Anything else and a paw comes out to pull it close. (OK. Perhaps I'm more permissive than other people.)

Some cats never do take to a lot of random picking up.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Okay, enough breeder talk. For *this* thread, can we stick to behavior? Thanks.


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## Jenny bf (Jul 13, 2013)

The cat tree you have ordered is awesome, a cats dream "home"


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## spirite (Jul 31, 2012)

Satin is stunning! Since she was already napping not far from you, it sounds like she's at least curious to get to know you better.  I hope that she continues to get more comfortable!


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

Hi Hi
Within a half an hour of getting home yesterday i was able to confine her into the room! She went straight into the crate and i brought her a snack. Shortly after i laid in bed, she came out walked around and tried to get the doors open. She started crying in what seems to me as discontent or be described as such?. She came onto the bed for a few minutes and cried some more at me. I felt bad, i get the feeling she wants to roam around freely and didn't much like being confined in one single room. She did spend most the evening in the crate, i didn't try to lure her out to put anymore pressure on her but i will tonight. I was woken up several times throughout the night, she would cry at the door and then eventually return to the crate. btw, holly wow are Bengals loud lol for a tiny girl, if i didn't know any better i'd think it was a big wild cat hehe.

I left for work this morning leaving her in there. I feel guilty! She was coming around decently roaming the house and last night she looked unhappy. Today is a new day, we'll see what happens when i get home, i'll try to lure her onto the bed with me. Baby steps!


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## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

Maybe she's in heat.


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## Mochas Mommy (Dec 9, 2013)

Bengals are LOUD and don't have a nice normal little meow! You will hear some howls and some loud calls...that is normal. She will roam, yeowl, and go back and forth to the door when you are there...she is trying to entice you to let her out. But, when you aren't home, she is most likely quiet and sleeping or just exploring. (We put kitty cams in our kittens' rooms, so we can check in on them...gave me a LOT of peace of mind). 

You are doing the right thing limiting her area; she is starting to "talk" to you about what she wants. Do you have a place she can "hide" yet? Does she have a "high" spot now (I know you are getting an amazing cat tree...but these cats LOVE being high). Word of advice on "high"...when she is high, approach her very carefully until both of you completely trust each other. Bengals get a 'bit' more 'wilder' when high....but they really need that for their confidence.


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

Ok well she has the window sill in the room to climb onto via the bed and that's pretty high, over 5 feet I guess. I checked the tracker and the cat tree won't be here until the 18th :/. 

Also, I forgot to add, as I mentioned this morning, she was pretty uncomfortable last night being locked in there, I could sense it and I think her stress level went pretty high. So she went " oh yah?!? Take this... *spray* " . Yeeeep, she sprayed either a wall or the inside of the crate she was in, not sure it was dark in the room and it's the first time she's done it.Since arriving from work, about 4 hours now, she hasn't howled or meowed at all. I lured her out of the crate with food and she ate it literally at my side but I have a feeling she's still mad at me for being locked up in the room, if that's at all possible.


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## librarychick (May 25, 2008)

She isn't able to directly associate to be mad at you for shutting her in the room, so basically - No, that's not the cause.

That being said, she can be stressed/upset in general about being confined. However, since she isn't spayed and has proven she can spray...it is possible she did so in other areas of your home and you just aren't aware of it yet. IME that's extremely likely. A cat that has sprayed once is a cat that will spray again.

It's still in her best interest to keep her confined. I'd plan to keep her in there for at least a month, or longer. Until you know for sure if she's pregnant and she's warmed up to you to the point where she isn't hiding/running away from you.


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## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

Even female cats spray if they're not altered. Especially if they're in heat, which they are frequently. Once they have the habit, spaying them afterwards isn't a cure-all. It's already a formed habit and hard to break. The spraying would have no relation to being "mad".


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## Andabella22 (Aug 11, 2014)

I was mostly making light of the stinky situation! I'm probably going to lean more towards the idea that she isn't pregnant. Not that I know all the signs, but after my last post, she spent a good bit howling at the window. I'd feel better if she wasn't, the timing is bad and other reasons. She spent a few minutes laying in bed at my feet but that didn't last long and back to the crate! She's spending a lot of time sleeping in there.. At least she's able to relax! 
Btw thank you for the help! I really appreciate it!


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## Mochas Mommy (Dec 9, 2013)

Bengals are notorious for spraying and some breeders have told me that their unaltered females spray worse than the males. Hopefully you have an occasional sprayer. You may want to order a good quality LED Blacklight and lots of enzyme cleaner. My husband laughs at me when I get my blacklight and spray bottle out! You might try some Feliway in the meantime to help calm her down. Once she feels like SHE had her own area, she may not spray or may spray less.


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