# Haven't really been able to 'put' this anywhere



## mainecoonmama (May 24, 2012)

So here seemed like a fitting place. Just wanted to give a tribute to my sweet little girl, Mina. She was only mine to love for a few short weeks, but she managed to completely steal my heart in about 3 seconds. After that, she was my little girl. I was clearly mama ( she used to groom my face before curling up by my face/neck and going to sleep). But then she fell a bit ill an a series of unusual circumstances meant she ended up in an emergency vet out of our home area. The vet, told me she had this horrible disease and had to be put down immediately. Crushed doesn't describe it. Part of me was gone, still is. Theres a tiny little kitten paw of a hole in me that I don't think can ever be filled. So here she is, my wonderful sweet baby Mina, RIP baby girl <3 mama loves you!








passed out after attacking my feet


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Sorry for your loss..... I truly believe that some day we will be reunited with our pets. A sweet little girl with white gloves!

_"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; unless my pets are there to welcome me." ~ Unknown_


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## mainecoonmama (May 24, 2012)

I hold onto that belief actually. After all was said and done and I was able to research more, I'm fairly certain a shoddy vet euthanized a kitten that was just constipated. I don't think Ill ever forgive myself for not protecting her better. I just hope that she is happily harassing every toe and tail up there.


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## Victoriax (Feb 25, 2012)

oh gosh this is so sad what a beautiful baby girl Mia was xxxxx

what did the vet say was the disease she had?

why do you think it was actually only constipation?

so sorry for your loss but I don't think it will be good to think you had her put down unneccessarily hun  xxxx


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## maggie23 (Mar 10, 2012)

i am so sorry for what happened. what a loving little baby girl she was. sweet as anything. i understand that hole you feel, and i can even relate to how you feel about the vet. won't go into details, but i was also so angry afterward and felt guilty and frustrated and everything. it was unbearable for a long time. although it kills me, i know i can't change the past. i can only take what i've learned and protect my other babies from the same mistakes (and that vet!). don't let the anger stop you from loving another little kitty. mina would want that for you. if she can't be the one to snuggle with you, she will imagine she is and vice versa until the passage of time starts to heal your pain.


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

Oh a little tuxy! She was cute.

Dont beat your self up about trusting a vet. The hard lesson we all learn is most vets are about dogs and only know about run of the mill issues with cats.

From doing rescue and TNR I became appalled with the ignorance or out right stupidity we experienced trying to find good vets to work with. I get asked all the time who is a good vet and who to avoid. 

You be sure and get the word out about this vet. Dont let other animals become victim of his shoddy practise.


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## mainecoonmama (May 24, 2012)

Thank you for all the kind replies. I know that it doesn't help to dwell and over think,but then I think about how totally dependent she was on me and just feel like I let her down. 

And Victoriax, here goes: *deep breath* When I brought her home I immediately brought her to the vet for a check up. I also immediately began switching her food to a much higher quality because she was basically being fed the cheapest stuff wal mart or the likes could stock. Clean bill of health, happy spunky, nosy, chatty little girl with a huge personality. The vet and I talked the food thing over and we agreed that I should continue as she was so young (8 weeks) and really needed to not wait to have a better diet. The first day on a new food gave her an upset tummy. The vet ran tests to rule out other issues and after everything was normal he assured me that it was the switch over. So he gave me some kitty pepto to give her to help the transition and prevent dehydration/accidents etc. 

So off we went with an appointment for the next round of shots and an only slightly irritated kitten. A few days later ( still in food transition phase) I literally had to pack a bag and head out of state immediately to handle an emergency. Mina needed several feedings a day, and meds. Basically Id have to leave her with someone, but there was literally no one. And since she hadn't had all her vaccines, she couldn't go to a boarding place. I also had to just pack up and go, so I had no choice. I pack up my little girl and her own suitcase full of gear and off we went. Upon arriving at a friends house ( friend had to have surgery, came as help/ support) we decided it was best to keep Mina in her own room. Up until this point she was doing fine, eating and drinking and pooping fine ( I know because she pooped on me after having 'lost' the litter box). A few days later, she got into some adult cat food ( all of these cats are perfectly healthy indoor cats so she didn't pick anything up from them or the house. They had all just been to the vet with in the month actually) when a door got left open. Were talking large size kibble. And being a kitten with a plate full of tasty food, she went town. Unfortunately id already given her the kitty pepto. I skipped the last dose and hoped for the best. 

By morning she couldn't poop. She clearly had a tummy ache even though she kept playing and being herself and I knew we needed to go to the vet. But it was sunday in a rural area, so we had to drive like an hour to a middle of no where emergency vet. 

When we get there the vet tech comes in, takes a temperature and sees the mucous she was passing. She looks at me and basically says 'this cat will probably die.' The vet comes in, examines her and tells me she has panelukopenia. Id never heard of it at that point and was being told that it was untreatable, fatal, and basically she was going to die no matter what. I was given time to 'say goodbye' and that was it. I was told my kitten had a fatal untreatable condition and I just didn't know what to do. I was at a total loss. 

When I finally made it home, and I cleaned for days on end ( my entire apartment smelled like bleach for a good week) I started researching. I had this strange urge to know everything there was to know about this horrible beast that killed my kitten. But the more I read, the less sure I was. Tests weren't run, and she definitely didn't have all the symptoms. Plus, panelukopenia is treatable, symptom wise anyways. But I would have tried anything.

So I started researching her symptoms. Everything that came back was intestinal blockage, constipation, or irritation related. Her symptoms fit most closely with constipation or a potential blockage. RIght down to passing a little mucous from straining and irritating the colon. 


So there it is, my kitten presented symptoms of constipation, the emergency vet made a snap judgement, my kitten crossed the rainbow bridge. I know I can't do anything about it, but it still hurts. I know it will pass in time, but id give anything to go back and change things.


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## maggie23 (Mar 10, 2012)

mainecoonmama said:


> I know I can't do anything about it, but it still hurts. I know it will pass in time, but id give anything to go back and change things.


my thoughts exactly in my own situation. life is full of regrets, but we have to learn from them in order to do better in the future. you are very brave telling your story and i really respect you for that. i still can't do it myself out loud even after 4 months.


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## dia (Nov 11, 2010)

I really apprecaite you telling your story. Its such a life lesson, we try to do the best for our pets, but all we really have is the information we are given by the vets. And we expect them to know what they are telling us. i had something very similar happen to me many years ago. Between my husband and i we refused to accept what the replacement vet told us and lucky for us, our regular vet was back in the office the next day. but you were between a rock and a hard place. You weren't at home when this happened and your kitten was in the hand of a strange vet. i'm so sorry this happened to you.


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## mainecoonmama (May 24, 2012)

I still can't think about it without crying ( thats why its good to be able to talk about it here), but it does help a lot to get it out. As for the vet, it scares me to know people like that are all we sometimes have to trust our loved ones to. It was as though she was operating on the idea that if it was an emergency it was most likely life threatening. Why not at least give options? I may look like a bum student, but I would have sold off organs to help my little girl. Both of the cats I have now go to the vet every time they need it. I would never skimp on their treatment, and I wouldn't have for Mina either. But I can't protect them from what I don't know; thats why we are supposed to be able to trust the professionals. When the professionals just don't care what are we supposed to do? Thankfully the vet that sees my two boys is phenomenal, she goes above and beyond and really cares. There need to be more like her.


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## razzle (May 20, 2010)

I'm so sorry for your loss. She was a very cute kitty with the white on the paws and white whiskers. Can't trust human doctors either. I learned from reading from others not to make a snap decision that is permanent. She was so cute. Sorry.


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## mainecoonmama (May 24, 2012)

Thanks for all the kind words, its nice to talk about things among people who understand. I don't think that my boyfriend or other friends ( save a few) really understand how it goes to lose a pet, who is really your baby.


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## Arianwen (Jun 3, 2012)

Truly awful. I know it's no real consolation but, like some of the others on here, I am certain that your little darling will be waiting for you - halthy and well.


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