# Really in a quandry about my inside feral cat



## dseag2 (Nov 28, 2013)

In late November we took in a young feral cat (we watched him grow up as a kitten in our courtyard). He stared at us through the glass door every day, even when there was food in the bowl, and when we opened the door he came right in. He loves our other male cat and sleeps next to him whenever possible. They play all the time. He has used the litter box from Day One. He even sleeps on the rug in the family room while we watch TV on the couches. His safety zone seems to be about 1 foot away from us. He seems very comfortable in any area of the house. I've even caught him following me (at a distance) into the bathroom and watching me.

Now, here's the hard part. He is feral, so he is very afraid of us. He's been with us for over a month and we haven't been able to take him to the vet for tests and neutering. When we get him alone in the laundry room where we feed him he hisses and jumps to the top of the cabinets where we can't reach him.

I left the door open today and he did go out for a while but eventually came back and walked back inside. He has become so much a part of our family it hurts me to think about putting him outside again, but if we can never take him to the vet it just won't work. We have many feral cats that come into our courtyard, we feed them and they are fine. I'm wondering if we should let this little guy go back outside and adopt a cat that is used to humans. We love him, but we're not getting anywhere.

Any experience or advice?


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## Cat'sHouse (Apr 5, 2012)

Annie wasn't quite so feral but she was probably abondoned and lost. I put a pet carrier on an outside low table where I was feeding her. Then one day I started to put her food in the carrier and she would eat in there and come out for petting and such but wouldn't let me pick her up. So, one day I closed the door and took her in the house and began to socialize her.

then in the carrier we went (twice now) to the vet. Each time she was good but avoided me for a day or so after even tho the vet experience went well. I think it was the ride and confinement.

So, in your case you might have to trap him and face the unpleasantness after the vet visit. They will have ways to calm him I'm sure. And, once home again, at least you know his medical needs/problems and start him on shots etc. That is worth the mistrust that will probably make his adjustment longer but it is in his best interests.

Do you need both cats to love you the same? EVen Annie, is still distant from us but then on her terms she comes on the bed to be with the wife or now sleeps at the end of it. With wife's electric blanket on, we suspect a full house there. Sometimes she acts like I am going to do something to her or pick her up so I fool her by just walking by without even acknowledging her. I'll do that as long as it takes and if she never becomes a lap cat, I don't care. I already have two. But she is now inside and safe and has friends so that is good.

At feeding times she is right up there with the rest at their bowls waiting for slow me to dish it out. Hey, I'm old and slower guys>


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## dseag2 (Nov 28, 2013)

Great advice, thanks! No, we don't need Marvin to love us. Milo more than makes up for it because he is quite the little "affection hog" and even snores when he is sleeping so he keeps us quite entertained. I just want to be able to take Marvin to the vet. He is a good companion for our 8 y/o Milo, and we've already seen that Milo has dropped some weight from all their wrestling.:crazy

We'll try the carrier trick with the food. The challenge is that the vet appointment has to be scheduled in advance so we need to be able to catch him the day of the appointment. I just tried luring him a few minutes ago with Starkist pink tuna, but only Milo would take me up on it. :-(

I'm not really concerned about how affectionate he is. We are satisfied knowing that he has found a good home. However, we can't stay status quo with no vaccinations and neutering.


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## dt8thd (Jan 7, 2013)

First off, thank you for opening your home and heart to this little boy. Feral cats can make for very difficult house guests, especially when they're loose in the house, but it does sound as though your boy is making progress. A month is really very little time at all when it comes to socializing feral cats. I'm involved in TNR and, as a result, often end up with foster cats that, while not fully feral (those would be the guys that get returned to their colonies) are under socialized or semi-feral. My current foster was what I would call semi-tame when I got her back in early August, and while she's very affectionate with me, she's still quite wary about being touched in any other part of the house other than her "safe" room. I can't pick her up without getting quite badly clawed. In addition, my 2 youngest cats, Autumn and Ramona, were a semi-feral mother cat and a feral kitten when I trapped them at my colony a year and a half ago. They've both become wonderful housecats, but I can't pick either of them up either, and Autumn still leery of being approached in certain ways. Socialization is an ongoing process, and it can be detrimental to that process to think about it in terms of a set time-frame. If you're committed to socializing your boy, you have to be in it for the long haul.

I agree that your boy needs to be seen by a vet and neutered before he matures too much and his interactions with your other cat start to become anything less than friendly. In order to do this, you will need to rent or borrow a humane cat trap from a shelter or a rescue that does TNR in your area. Some people are bothered by the idea of trapping cats because it _is_ a scary thing for a cat to go through, but the alternative, is, as you've said going back outside, and, considering that he's unfixed, putting him back outside isn't really a good solution at all.


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## Cat'sHouse (Apr 5, 2012)

right. I know you are trying everything you can. You said you offered tuna but only Milo took you up on it? I wonder if having Milo around at all during periods of trying to get Marvin to do things is a good idea?

Maybe Marvin is just one of those solitary cats.?

yes trapping him and making an appointment may be hard to do together. and I am guessing he will not let you near the carrier to close it while he is in it? You may need a TNR type trap which will surely agonize him more?

If cats only knew what we have to do for them.

good luck.


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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

It may not be the happiest solution but you may have to use a live trap to catch him!
Do you have any cat rescue groups that you could explain the situation to, that might be able to take him on a shorter notice for neutering? 
We have a place over here that spays & neuters on set days...see if you've got someplace like that...
Neutering would probably also help with some calming effect as well for him!!
Sure wish you luck with Marvin!


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## Waterfaller10 (Oct 14, 2009)

I adopted a feral kitten. He is now 13 years old. He had gotten his vaccinations and had been neutered by the rescue group who caught him. He is a very affectionate cat BUT he remains skittish to this day. It definitely causes me a lot of stress when I need to get him to the vet. He acts like a wild animal and I'm sure he will never trust me again each time. He does get over it though and is back up on my bed pawing at me to pet him. I have used a feral trap to catch him and I struggled with the same problem of not knowing when he would go in. I talked this over with the vet and they said to just make the appointment and if need be, I could cancel if he wasn't in by the time of his appointment. I had tuna in the trap and he did go in fairly quickly. I then covered the trap with a towel and set it in a dark room. He thrashed around quite a bit but it all worked out. Subsequent to that, I've just donned a heavy coat, welding gloves and goggles, placed a carrier on end and have grabbed him and plopped him in tail first.

It's wonderful you want to adopt him and get him into the vet. Just make sure you keep him in for awhile afterward so that you can rebuild the trust first.


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## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

I have a professional trapper come to our house, because all my cats are former semi-strays, so taking them to the vet is an ordeal. 

Ever since we trapped Nikita for her first vet visit, and that was 2 years after she started living with us (she had been already TNRed by the municipality and we don't vaccinate or do check-ups to newly adopted cats here), she left our home and only comes occasionally to eat and spend the night. I've been heart-broken but I'm trying to come to terms with it. That said, I believe you have to take her to the vet anyway, and hope for the best. Nikita has full trust in me and never lost it, because I wasn't the bad guy who trapped her. But she fears our house. I don't know, maybe have her trapped by someone else and outside the house, so she won't associate the house with fear?


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## howsefrau32 (Mar 6, 2013)

I think it is going remarkably well. A month is such a short time for a feral cat. He is going to come around though. The fact that he is getting closer to you and watching you around the house, very good signs. I have a feral that has lived outside for years, and it took me 3-6 months before she would come close to us. It started out that she would rub her chin on the side of the house right next to the chair I was sitting in, and then she would very slightly rub against my leg. Eventually one day, she let me pet her. But. She did NOT want to see my hand coming towards her. It started out that I would reach down and pet her tail lightly. If she saw my hand coming toward her, she would run or put her paw up like she was going to bat at me. It took probably near a year before I could pet her back, she held out for the longest time on that. It's been about two years now, I can pet her and sort of half pick up her front paws, but she has made it clear she does not want to be lifted off the ground, she won't bite me, but she squirms to get down. She now jumps up on a chair to get closer to me, tries to get closer to my face, makes good eye contact with me and purrs. I cannot even tell you how feral this cat was, but to me, she was not even semi-feral, she was fully feral. It was baby steps the whole way getting to where we are today. I have three cats inside, and one of them can't even be around the other two, because she is vicious, so we don't bring Arwen in, but I do let her in my garage when it's cold. We are in FL, so we are lucky, she does quite fine outside, and she likes it there. She goes into three yards to sleep and hang out, and everyone is fine with her and knows her. I still worry about her constantly and wish I could bring her in, but I just don't think it would work out with her inside with our current cat situation. 

Give this boy some time. I would not put him back outside, it sounds like he is is so thankful to be inside. I would just give it time and just ignore him. Don't make moves to try to get him to come to you. I completely let Arwen come to me on her terms. That was key. She did eventually like your boy is doing, getting close to you and hanging out. Arwen also hissed at me every time I would feed her in the beginning. She did every time I would come out to feed her. She'd hiss one minute and then be laying near us the next minute. You just have to have unbelievable patience with ferals. And expect that even when they do come around, they will probably always be skittish. Arwen still is with us at times. We just have to realize that she is like this and she is not like our spoiled, pampered indoor kitties who have been handled and hugged and kissed their entire life. You will probably never be able to do that to him. But he will come around and he WILL show you love, I'm just sure of it. He sounds like he's doing exactly what Arwen did to me. It will happen. Just give him time


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## dseag2 (Nov 28, 2013)

Well, here's an update. I agonized over what to do because we loved having Marvin around the house and wanted a companion for Milo, our 8 year old cat, but we didn't want to run the risk of introducing infections or parasites and having to go through the ordeal of "trapping" him to take him to the vet. 

This morning I opened the door and Marvin went outside. I left the door open for a while so he could make the decision as to whether he wanted to come back inside. He gradually sauntered off, went out of sight, and hasn't come back. As much as I knew it was the right thing to do for our particular situation, I was devastated.

So we went to the animal shelter and adopted a 5 month-old kitten, Toby, that talks to us when we enter the room and comes right to our laps. This was the second shelter he had been transferred to so we knew we were doing something good for him. He is an incredibly loving cat that is totally comfortable with humans. Unlike most cats, he will look you right in the eyes and give you a kiss with his tongue. It may seem selfish that we wanted a non-feral cat, but we also board our cats when we travel and the thought of getting Marvin into a carrier at that point left us worried.

We expect that Marvin will come around from time to time, and he will be our "outdoor cat". We will feed him consistently as we did before, and if cold weather is expected we will make a nice warm place for him to sleep. There are lots of his "family members" running around outside so he won't be alone. Those of you who have brought feral cats into your homes truly have my respect and admiration.

Although this wasn't the outcome I had hoped for, I hope we are now essentially helping 2 cats have better lives.


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

Our cat Maggie was not feral, but her father was an Italian feral cat and I think some of that wildness was bred into her because she NEVER really warmed up to us even though I was cuddling and kissing her since she was 2 days old. She hated being touched and always hissed - even as an infant but we kept her for 12 years until she died. Vet visits were the worst because she was almost impossible to catch. She got to the point where she would sit about a foot away from us if she was hungry and I had treats. Once we both relaxed I'd offer her a treat and when she went to get it off the cushion I'd grab her scruff and hold on for dear life while I wrapped her in a towel. I HATED going through this. Once every 3 years for her rabies was all I could handle with her.


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## dseag2 (Nov 28, 2013)

Thanks for sharing your story. Sounds like we made the right decision. BTW, Marvin hasn't shown back up at our door for almost 3 days, so I guess he wasn't all that happy inside after all, but at least he got to experience it.


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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

Really wish you could have had him neutered before setting him "free"...
He wouldn't be fathering more kittens...
And he wouldn't have to be in battles all the time...


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## dseag2 (Nov 28, 2013)

Yes, I hear you and feel very guilty about that. He finally did come back around and stared in the window again, but he immediately hissed at me when I came to the window (didn't even open the door). We are expecting pretty cold temps tonight, which is probably why he was back, so I set up a little house for him with blankets right outside the door.

Honestly, we have so many feral cats in our neighborhood I don't know where to start when it comes to spaying and neutering. There are at least 3 Tabbies that I currently feed in our courtyard, and in the past we've had two that were white/gray, and a tuxedo cat. Since I feed them, it is like "cat central" at our house. We had a grown cat and a kitten that I took in a couple of years ago and kept in the half bath when it was cold outside, then let them back out. I found out later that my neighbor called Animal Control to have them taken away. I was devastated.


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

Can you call around to your local rescue groups and ask who works with feral cats and does TNR? Hook up with them to get your courtyard ferals spayed and neutered. Otherwise your little feeding group will become larger. 

Also try googling Trap Neuter Return cats with your city and see what comes up.


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## dseag2 (Nov 28, 2013)

Thanks. Great suggestion. That is exactly what I will do.


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## dseag2 (Nov 28, 2013)

*Outdoor cat tugging at my heartstrings*

Long story short... we took in a cat that had grown up in our courtyard and continually stared in the glass door to our family room like he wanted to come in. It didn't work out so well because even though he loved the house and bonded with our other cat he hissed at us and never let us near him. Wt couldn't take him to the vet for neutering, shots, etc. because he wouldn't let us come close to him. We kept him for over a month in hopes that he would come around and when he didn't, we let him go back outside of his own accord. He disappeared for a couple of days, and we adopted a non-feral kitten from a shelter. Now he is back. He continues to stare into the family room door. We haven't let him in, but we have fed him and set up a little house with towels for the cold weather. (He hasn't used it.)

Tonight, when I was working in my office in a second floor bedroom, I looked over and lo and behold he was sitting on the ledge outside the window looking in at me. We have 10 foot ceilings on the first floor, so getting to a second floor window is no small feat. I can only assume that he climbed a tree to get to the ledge.

He seems to really want to get back into the house again. I know there is no easy answer, but we didn't have such a good experience with him the first time around. I guess I just need to stick to my guns, not let him in and keep feeding him outside? It is killing me that he wants to come in, but he is totally feral.


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## pkbshrew (Feb 13, 2013)

If he wants in then he's not totally feral....


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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

I personally, would have given him longer than a month to try and settle in...
I just look at how long it can take a cat that is used to people, to fully settle in and get used to all the house 
routines, etc....


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## dt8thd (Jan 7, 2013)

A little over a month is a _completely_ unrealistic time frame in which to expect to see the kind of drastic differences in behaviour that result from socialization. Despite that, it sounded like you were making really good progress with the kitty you took in before you released him. It's not fair to expect an animal that instinctively regards people as a threat to learn to trust you so completely in such a short amount of time. That said, it's obvious that your little boy isn't feral and has come to trust you a lot, since he's asking to be let back in. Whether you let him back in is up to you, but I think you would find that, given a more realistic amount of time to learn to fully trust you and become used to living indoors and a vet visit to have him fixed, that this little boy could become a wonderful housecat.

That said, please don't feel too badly about not allowing him back in if socialization isn't a process that you can make a reasonable emotional or time commitment to; you have your new kitten to consider too. The fact is that I've met a lot of very caring, compassionate people, like yourself, who have taken in feral or semi-feral cats in the hopes of taming them, without fully realizing the time, effort, and patience required to reach that goal. That you made an effort at all, and continue to care for the ferals in your courtyard, is so much more than most people do.


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## dseag2 (Nov 28, 2013)

Thanks, everyone, for not being judgmental. I LOVE animals and do everything I can to make their lives better. Sasha was adopted from a veterinarians office and Milo was found under a dumpster. Misha, who we "let go" last year, was adopted at Petsmart and suffered from hyperthyroid for which we paid $3,100 for radioactive iodine treatments. She still had diarrhea and always went outside the box for the last 3 years of her life. It was a chore, but we loved her so we handled it.

I just don't have the stamina right now to try to go through what it takes to trap a cat to take it to the vet, and my biggest concern is in the interim the outdoor cat will pass along something to our other 3 cats that might be a danger to them before we can get him checked. Our 16 year-old is feeble and I can't risk it. 

In all honesty, he loved being close to our 8 year-old Milo and would lay next to him, but he also was starting to tear up our rugs and leave claw marks in our leather furniture.

He comes to our door every night to come in and it breaks my heart, but we're just not at the point in our lives to go through with this. I don't think our 16 year-old will make it much longer. She has a constantly runny nose and doesn't get around very well anymore. If we put her down at some point we may reconsider giving the little outside guy another chance. We love our cats, but 3 indoor cats are our limit.


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## Luvmyfurbabies (Jun 25, 2012)

Have you considered using a mobile vet? Years ago that's exactly what I used for my dog. Shots and vet care. Maybe you could look into this. Is there a way you could rig a cage with blankets and treats? There has to be a way if the issue is mainly about vet care.
I'm not judging. You sound like a very responsible pet care giver. It tears at my heart a little because it seems he has chosen you. He sounds like he is dealing with his inner struggles but that will take time Anything worth having usually does. . It took three years for one of my babies to come around from being totally anti-social to a total sweetheart.


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

Some vets will do home visits. A couple vets in our area of the country do that for our ferals we have with medical conditions to treat.


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## dseag2 (Nov 28, 2013)

*Marvin is back!*

Sorry, it's a long story, but back in November when we had our first ice storm we took in a young cat that had been in our courtyard with his mother since he was a kitten. His mother left and he was fending for himself. We kept him inside for at least a month and he wouldn't let us touch him. He was totally comfortable with the other cats, but when we got near him he would hiss and jump up to the highest counters where we couldn't reach him. We tried to coax him with food, but it didn't work. We finally gave up because we couldn't catch him to take him to the vet for neutering and shots. One day I opened the door and he went back outside. He disappeared for a couple of days but then came back in a big way, constantly staring inside our glass door and even jumping to the second story window ledge to watch me in my home office. We've continued to feed him outside and he has continued to stare inside the house. Since Marvin went back outside and we wanted another cat, we adopted an extremely active and loving 5-month old from a shelter.

Well, Marvin (the outdoor cat) has never left the perimeter of the house, and he now seems less intimidated when I go out to feed him. This morning we had snow, and he was miserable, so I let him back in the house. He was immediately comfortable laying next to our 8 year-old Milo and rough housing with our 5 month-old Toby. He also seems to be much less scared of us.

We have our 16 year-old Sasha as well (who doesn't have time for any of them) but she generally sleeps upstairs all day, so even though the thought of having 4 cats in the house scares me she is like 1/2 cat and we are going to keep him. He has no desire to go outside again, so I am going to make a concerted effort to catch him this time so we can neuter him and get all his shots and keep him as an indoor cat.

He is so clearly a part of our family. Part of it was being inside for a month, and the other part is smelling our other cats under the door. It was like he was living here all that time. I just don't have the heart to put this little boy outside again, so we will be looking to get him the proper care. He is young enough to play with 5 month-old Toby, but he loves sleeping next to 8 year-old Milo. Also, our other cats are so affectionate, we don't really care if he takes to us. (I had 3 cats on me tonight while watching TV.) We just want to give him a good home!


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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

YAY!! Dseag!! This is 
'Marv-olous" News!! Happy to hear Marvin is back and staying!


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## cat owner again (Dec 14, 2012)

What a nice story. Marvin has found a home.


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## howsefrau32 (Mar 6, 2013)

Bless you for doing this for him.


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## emilyatl (Sep 9, 2013)

Aww, yay! I'm so glad you brought Marvin in (as I'm sure he is too).


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## dseag2 (Nov 28, 2013)

Well, here's an update. It is working out quite well having the 3 "boys" on the first floor all day and the "old lady" staying on the second floor. My only obstacle is getting Marvin to the vet to have his vaccinations and getting him neutered. He still won't let us touch him.

Outside of trapping him in a cage, any suggestions? I am in this for the long haul, but we need to get him to the vet at some point.


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

Depending on how close he lets you get to him so you could grab him by the scruff and quickly lift him into a carrier then youd have to use a trap. Dont let him swing around and grab you FYI. 

A net would probably upset him and getting him into a carrier would be a challenge. 

Or start feeding him inside a carrier and close the door quickly once he is comfortable with going in a carrier. He will thrash around so be ready to leave for the vet quickly!


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## emilyatl (Sep 9, 2013)

I have an inside feral too and took him to the vet recently for his boosters and an exam. I put his carrier in his room with a comfy blanket that he likes to lay on in it, and sprayed some FeliWay in it (and let it dry well before putting it near him). I put some treats just outside the door, and let him get used to seeing it/having it around for a few days. I didn't really expect him to just willingly go in there, but I also didn't want him to bolt when he saw it (which he didn't do). I was able to scruff him and get him in the carrier (not sure if you can do that or not though since he won't let you touch him?). Just be sure your carrier has latches on it - getting him out at the vet will be impossible otherwise.


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## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

He needs to be neutered... did you phone around for a cat trap? A rescue should be happy to loan you one. It really isn't that big of a deal... Jasper just walked right in his, he was food obsessed. Yes he hated being in there, so we arranged it so he'd be trapped around 6 am (giving it a few hours for him to walk in, which turns out we shouldn't have worried about) and then take him to the vet at 8 am when they opened. 

Let the vet know he's feral, that you may have to cancel. Some will allow this, other vets don't even work with ferals. If you can, try and get in contact with organizations that spay/neuter feral cats; I had Jasper neutered, his leg sown up, FIV/FeLV testing and shots (which I declined at the time due to needing boosters and not wanting to go through it) ... for 50 dollars. Meanwhile, people not "in the know" would be paying 300 dollars for something similar at a regular vet.


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## emilyatl (Sep 9, 2013)

Oh, yeah, Carmel makes a good point. If you go to a TNR vet or SPCA, they will be WAY cheaper than a regular vet. When I took Monkey, I had him neutered, tested for FeLV/FIV, vaccinated for FVRCP and rabies, microchipped, and treated for fleas for $145. That would have been over $400 at my regular vet. Most do not do pre-operative bloodwork like a regular vet would do before surgery (with ferals, it'd be pretty much impossible to do).


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## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

dseag2 said:


> Outside of trapping him in a cage, any suggestions?


No. Ultimately, there'll be trapping involved, even if you manage to cajole him with food into the carrier. That's why, where possible, it's best to have another person do the trapping.


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