# New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! w/ MORE PICS 2/11



## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

Hi everyone. I've been lurking on this site for a few weeks now, but this is my first post  I've seen a lot of great information,a nd am hoping you can help me understand what's going on with my two kitties.

Dasher is my resident cat. He is a 3YO DSH neutered male that we adopted from the shelter 2 years ago. He's had the run of the house since we brought him home and is a good little guy overall. He is also overweight (19 lbs now) but we are working on that. Very smart too - he comes when he's called, knows his name and a few commands (sit, get down, come here, knock it off lol) 

2 days ago, I brought home Neko - also adopted from the shelter. They said he was 1 yr old, but I think he's actually a bit younger as he's pretty small. He is adorable, extremely affectionate and very playful. His intial vet checkup was fine, except for a moderate case of ear mites, which I am treating. Per the intro suggestions I saw on this site and the linked YouTube videos, Neko has been kept isolated in my bedroom with all of his essentials since he came home.

The problem is Dasher. I expected some strife between the two of course, but Dasher is breaking my heart! Whenever he is upstairs, he sits outside my bedroom door hissing and _growling_ b/c he hears and smells Neko on the other side. (I had NEVER heard him growl before, except once at the vet when a dog was barking at him.) I have tried having treat parties or cat nip parties with the door closed, but this doesn't seem to help; as soon as Dasher hears Neko eating his on the other side ( I push them under the door), he growls louder and louder until I shoo him away. I have tried positive reinforcement (petting him and telling him he's a good boy) to distract him from growling, but he persists. He follows us up the stairs constantly now and makes it a huge pain to get into my room. Sometimes, he smells Neko on my clothes and hisses at that too. 

I tried familiarizing him with Neko's scent by bringing down one of my hoodies and casually leaving it on the living room floor; Dasher steps around it.

I don't know what to do at this point. I feel terrible. Dasher feels uncomfortable and violated in his own house, and poor Neko is left to be alone for most of the day in a strange environment. The shelter got him as a stray and he was only there for 4 days before I got him. He has never had his own home before, and is spending his time trapped in one little room alone. I do visit him during the day of course, and he sleeps right up under me at night :luv He seems to spend most of his alone time under the bed though  

I apologize for the super long post. Please let me know if you have any advice, suggestions, etc. I just feel really bad for both of my boys right now!


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

It's so hard to keep them separated and then try to split your time between them. atback 

The process usually takes two weeks or more (or less). Here's an excellent site with tips on introductions, maybe it will have some hints you can use.

http://www.littlebigcat.com/index.php?a ... roductions

Any pictures of Dasher and Neko you could share with us? If you've been lurking, you KNOW we like pictures.


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## ChelleBelle (Sep 14, 2009)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Don't feel guilty, you are giving a great life to two rescue cats!

Trust me, it takes time for cats to get use to one another. Dasher has been an only cat for 2 whole years. It's going to take him more than two days to become use to the idea of a new cat in his world. Feliway is an awesome product that releases cat pheromones and usually helps take the edge off of some cats attitudes. 

As far as Neko staying in a room by himself, that is actually a good thing. Most new cats need to become familiar to being in a new house room by room. Just try to spend more time with him playing and giving treats, it'll help in the end to form a good bond with him. 

Something that occurred to me, you said Neko was staying in your bedroom. Did Dasher sleep in there with you before Neko? Just a thought, but some resident cats get very upset if they get a room they usually go into off limits to them. I'm not sure if you have another room to perhaps move Neko too, some of us don't, but it might help if you did.

I know Hoofmaiden had an awesome thread on introducing her kitten, Jonah, to her two resident cats. viewtopic.php?f=2&t=62659

Also the website that Marie gave you gives really good tips, some cat introductions are really long and tedious ones. Some are very simple and go smooth as two old friends seeing one another, going "Oh Look!" Another cat! PLAY!" like small kids on a playground, and some (Like mine) are taking months. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

'Chelle


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## ETrescued (Oct 22, 2009)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*



ChelleBelle said:


> Something that occurred to me, you said Neko was staying in your bedroom. Did Dasher sleep in there with you before Neko? Just a thought, but some resident cats get very upset if they get a room they usually go into off limits to them.


I had this EXACT thought as I was reading. I recently took in a foster cat, and I know that if ET (resident cat) was no longer allowed in my bedroom (where he sleeps with me and enjoys afternoon cat naps) he would've been LIVID! Instead, I put the foster cat in my bathroom. I only have one bathroom, so its been a bit of a hassle, but ET was only rarely allowed in their to begin with so that aspect of the transition has been easy for him.

I really commend you for keeping these two isolated, despite all the grief it has been causing you. I believe in quarantining new cats to observe them for disease at the absolute minimum, so you are doing BOTH cats a great service, even though they may not think it now!

Keep us posted and yes, pictures!!

-BP


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Yay, I got responses!! 8) 

RE The Bedroom: Dasher has had freedom of the whole house since I got him. Sometimes he takes his afternoon nap on my bed, and sometimes he sleeps with me. He also sleeps on the sofa too (curls up with my daughter when she's reading and then stays all night, even after she has gone to bed). Also, my house is pretty open concept structurally, and we don't close doors very often (except for potty functions of course). Having a closed door is really weird for all of us. I was going to put Neko in Deja's (my daughter- she's 8) room, b/c Dasher NEVER sleeps in her bed, but Neko roams around so much that I was worried he would disturb her rest. The downstairs powder room would have been perfect for Neko - its really big and has shelves for climbing, and is btwn the LR and kitchen where all the 'action' is - except it is well established at Dasher's "man cave". He has toys in there, and his litter box and whines at the door if we close it just to have a quick potty so I figured my full bath upstairs is pretty small; there isn't much space for a litter box. If I had to move Neko, this probably be the only option though.

Thanks for the links - I had already read Hoofmaiden's posts and watched all of her vids. I did that while deciding whether I was prepared to get a 2nd cat or not. I knew the transition was going to be a pain, but I didn't know it would upset _me_ lol Teh other site is bookmarked now. I tried one of its suggestions today - and fed both boys yummy canned food (Dasher is on kibble) on either side of the closed door. My daughter and I both sat with Dasher. They were both fine until Neko smelled Dasher, and hissed. Then Dasher started growling. But I left the food there, and kept praising Dasher for eating his food, and he finished it and came downstairs for a play and a nap. Then, I went in and talked to Neko while he finished his food. It went a bit better than I thought. And we also discovered that Dasher can growl and eat at the same time, (he was almost done when he started doing that!).

Neko didn't eat much of his food yesterday, so I was happy to see him tucking into the wet food. I think he's getting a URI too  - he swallows a lot and seems to snough (sneeze+cough) a bit as well. We gave him a bath yesterday (vet said it was OK), so I'm not sure if he got a chill from the bath, or is just getting a URI as a result of being in the shelter for 6 days. After his bath, we rubbed him really well with a towek and then my BF and I lay on either side of him to keep him warm until he was completely dry.

RE Pics: Will post some as soon as I remember my Flickr password. I don't have any great ones of Neko yet tho.

Thanks for your encouragement! It makes me feel soooo much better!!


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Oh, a couple more things:

The full bath is not Dasher's fave place because he gets baths in there. He does like to keep me company while I shower and get dressed tho. If I close the door, he sits right outside of it until I come out and then follows me wherever I go next.

I am getting the boys a cat tree and a water fountain once they can both be in the house together. Was thinking of putting the tree in the LR, and the fountain in the upstairs hallway. Since that is where all the confrontation occurs, I thought putting a new item of interest there would help to neutralize the contested territory lol Ditto to the cat tree- won't open it until they can both see it being opened and assembled at the same time so that it neither one thinks it belongs to them.

Feliway is a good idea - its $40 in the pet stores now, but $20 on amazon. Amazon has 7-10 day shipping tho :{ I should probably just suck it up and buy it from the pet store huh?


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Just a heads-up - Feliway is hit-or-miss. Some people get no results whatsoever, so keep that in mind when spending the money. 

Your cat tree idea sounds purrfect, including the location. 

Looking forward to pictures.


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## RachandNito (Nov 21, 2008)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Nito turned insane for about a week after getting Chica. He was so scary! It's the smell- once Dasher becomes accustomed to the smell, things should subside. You can hurry the process by rubbing a towel on Dasher, then on Neko, and then back again. This helps to "equalize" their smells, so they start to smell similar.


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Neko is sleeping in my daughter's lap right now - so cute! I'm a bit worried b/c he doesn't seem to have gone potty today. I can tell b/c he doesn't cover.

I haven't figured out how to upload pics yet, but here is a link to my Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/starkiki22/sets/72157623145554881/

Hmm, good point about the Feliway Marie. I guess its like catnip in that respect? I was wondering why the Amazon reviews were so love/hate.

Will the washcloth transfer ear mites from Neko to Dasher?


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Wow! Beautiful cats! :luv 

I don't know about the transfer of ear mites, hopefully someone else will chime in.

You could also put a drop of vanilla on the back of their necks so they start smelling the same.


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## ChelleBelle (Sep 14, 2009)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Beautiful cats! And your daughter is just adorable. Marie is correct about the Feliway, being hit or miss. (Not to scare you, female cats are harder to introduce from what I have been told anyway.) But Brandy and Bella, my two cats, got into a couple fights when I brought the kitten, Bella, into the house. We are doing our very own long introduction now. I did not know about separating cats, or actually any of the stuff I do now. My ignorance might have made them enemies forever.  

On to the subject of Feliway, it worked for one cat and not the other. I got the plug-in and the spray bottle. Bella was basically downright afraid of Brandy, and would hide and slunk around the house. Brandy was always locked up in a room after the initial meet and greet fights. We worked on Bella's confidence and her trust, after spraying the Feliway in her room and where she played she starting bounding back to normal. We are back to the babygate stage and I noticed a mark improvement in Bella's attitude the day I sprayed the Feliway and the day I didn't. On the day I did, she'd come to the gate and play in the room, even with Brandy watching her from the other side. Brandy, on the other hand, is still the tempermental little Diva like always. No change at all.

You are doing great so far with being informed and just give them a little bit of time. I'm sure they will come around. :wink: 

'Chelle


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Awww, thanks everyone  

Chelle, even if the Feliway only worked on 1 cat, that makes your job half as difficult, right?  My kitties are both boys - I can't imagine how much harder your situation must be! I keep telling myself that they _have_ to get along _eventually_. Now, if we could only fast forward to 'eventually'...


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

I dunno if anyone is still reading this, but we've had a few setbacks since yesterday. First, Neko has developed a really deep, dry cough and started sneezing. I'm guessing this is a URI from the shelter that is just presenting itself now. he was just fine at the vet on Thursday, and at home on Friday. Looks like we will be heading back tomorrow morning.

Second, he peed on my bed. While I was in the room, no less. I had just finished cleaning his litterbox and I sat on the bed and smelled cat pee. Did some investigating, and found a big puddle on and below my favorite pillow. Per the sticky about urine, I went out and bought some Nature's Miracle, Cat Attract and the Feliway plug in. I also relocated Neko to our main bathroom for the time being.

Anyone have a clue as to why he peed on the bed? His litterbox was _right there_. I even saw him sniffing around it three times before he went across the room and let loose on my bed.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Probably a urinary tract infection (UTI). Cats associate the pain when they pee with the litterbox, so they start peeing on other things, usually soft things, like clothing and bedding, etc. Good thing you're going to the vet tomorrow. 

Here's an article about UTI's:

http://www.littlebigcat.com/index.php?a ... w&item=017


Wow, you've really had your hands full with this one. atback


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Awww, my poor kitty  I certainly bit off a lot with this one! I'm glad I have this board to help me out.

He must be miserable with a URI and a UTI, good grief! It makes me wonder how he made it an entire year as a stray. 

I'm calling the vet 1st thing in the morning, and it looks like everyone is settled in for the night. Neko ate a bit of food -he seems to only eat when I sit with him and talk to him - and is sleeping in his carrier in the bathroom. My daughter sang to him until he fell asleep  Daughter is in bed, and Dasher is on guard in the hallway between her room and the bathroom. He always has been kind of a guard cat - its funny. The Feliway is plugged in that hallway as well, so I'm sure Dasher is soaking up the good vibes. 

Wish Neko luck at the vet tomorrow! (And Mommy too - all this extra stuff was NOT in the budget, lol)


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Fingers and paws crosssed for you here. Cleo was sick when I got her, only I didn't know it for a while. Her previous owner was less than forthcoming about her past and never did give me the promised medical records, which would have saved me $$$$. 

Good luck tomorrow. Neko sure found a good Mommy to take care of him.


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## Tortietudelove (Nov 24, 2009)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

I'm just now reading through this, but wanted to say that I hope everything goes well at the vet today!!!  

Just a little addition to what you've already been reading,  Teya is the queen around here, which you may have seen on other posts of mine. When a new cat comes in, I can expect her to be a hissy hateful girl for about 2wks, then she calms down, but once she comes face to face with the newcomer, she insists on bullying him/her for a few days. Once we get through that, she normally takes on a motherly role of grooming, watching over everyone, and will even play mediator if she feels others are playing too rough. Of course, I have two things working against me on this...one, she's a female, and, two, she's a Siamese. Both can be a chore with introductions, but you mix the two together...oh boy! 8O :lol: Actually, though, I do agree that females tend to be harder to introduce to other cats. We currently have 7 females and 4 males, so it's definitely interesting at times, and my girls tend to be more tempermental. My husband says that I'm glutton for punishment, though, with primarily Meezers and Torties. :wink: Luckily, everyone gets along really well, considering. If you're wondering, we help with rescue and shelter cats...that's why the high number. Of course, I've made a huge mistake this time...I've gotten emotionally attached to each and every one of them, which is something that I know better than to do. I just can't help any more (other than the ferals in our neighborhood) until I adopt out some, which isn't going too well right now. Oops!  

Sorry for the rambling...I wish you the best of luck with today's vet visit and the introduction.  OH and WELCOME to CF. :mrgreen:


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

11 cats?! Oh my goodness! Taking on that many kitties is commendable :luv Love the name 'Teya' by the way. Whats it from? I feel like I've heard it on Stargate or something.


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

*UPDATE:* Took neko to the vet first thing this morning. They were upset to see him back so soon. Conclusion was as we guessed: URI, possible UTI and they said to keep an eye on the coughing b/c it may be asthma. They sent a urine specimen off to a lab, pumped him full of subcutaneous fluids, antibiotics and cortisone, and sent him back home with me. (Yay! I was worried he would have to stay.) He will have antibiotics orally 2x/day, in addition to the ear drops that were already prescribed. They also recommended lysine every day to keep his system strong.

He ate a bit (dry food), when he came home, PEED IN THE LITTERBOX  and then settled in his carrier for a nap. He seems to prefer the carrier when he is in the bathroom. When I took his dinner up today (Wellness Turkey canned), he ate 1/2 of his serving, drank some water and explored the rest of the bathroom for the first time. Then settled on a rug next to me and started the motor lol. 

He seems to be feeling a bit better. I am just wondering how he is going to do with the litterbox. I really miss him in my room- I think snuggles are good medicine- but would like to be semi-confident that he will use it before I bring him out of the bathroom. 

Dasher has spent a lot of time sitting in front of the bathroom with his nose pressed to the crack in front of the door. He is less growly today - dunno if its because Neko isn't in my room (altho I'm still keeping it closed off) or b/c the Feliweay is working.

Thanks for keeping fingers and paws crossed for us, Marie! I sure wish there was a way to save money at the vet - they need a punchcard or something. Frequent patient points? The bill never fails to shock me.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Glad you'll have some answers soon - and glad he's using the litter box so far! 

Some vets offer a multi-pet discount, but I think it takes more than two. My last vet gave me 20% off everything because I have four cats, but my current vet only gives 20% off if I bring all four cats in for the same thing. And seriously, how often does that happen? Their yearly exams? *But* my new vet is much better, and didn't charge me a couple times for seeing my cats when I was laid off. 

I'm bringing two of my girls in next week for dental cleaning, $350 per cat, plus more if additional work is needed (pulling teeth, etc.). 8O 

Our furry little kids are expensive, but worth it.


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## ChelleBelle (Sep 14, 2009)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Neko sure is lucky he found you! I'm just catching back up with this thread, and I'm sorry that he got worse. But it was wonderful you took him to the vet immediately instead of waiting.

I do understand about the vet bills. A long on-going saga of Bella's kittenhood. She was a stray kitten that got attacked by another animal with an open wound in her chest. Cutting the wound, stitching, antibiotics, kitten shots, spaying, and regular doctor visits the first 4 months I owned her drained my savings a bit. Her love and the knowledge she might have been dead by now makes it worth it. 

So you did an awesome thing!  

'Chelle


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Neko is feeling better!!! 8) After I dropped off my daughter this morning, I came home to hear Neko's little mews from the bathroom. (I'm unemployed right now). Checked on him, and he was up, out of the carrier and exploring the bathroom. During the night, he had peed in the LB and eaten all the dry food I left out for him. (I've been feeding him Wellness wet, but leaving out some dry for snacks b/c he isn't eating very much.)He's still sneezing a lot, but that calmed down a bit while I took my shower (steam). Later in the morning, I hear constant meowing and the door was rattling - Neko was pawing and scratching at the door wanting to get out  He'd used the LB again, so I went ahead and moved him to my room. He recognized it and seems happy to be back in there. I'm crossing my fingers that he keeps using the LB. I have been scooping every time he goes to make it as "inviting" as possible.

Vet called today and urinalysis results were all good except that is urine is super duper concentrated. Will have to figure out how to get him to drink more water. My daughter had a play session with him after school, and she said he was really playing. Apparently, he fetches toy mice back to her so she will throw them again. Adorable!

So, I'm keeping him isolated until the sneezing stops, he's using the LB consistently and finished with his antibiotics. Then, we'll get back on track with the introduction. I just hope I can get him completely well and keep him that way.

Marie, $350/cleaning? Ouch!!! 8O 8O I should stop complaining!!

Chelle, poor Bella! Thank goodness she had you to take care of her! You saved her life! I got Neko from a kill shelter which is going to start doing mass euthanizations soon. For budgetary reasons. :evil: I'm glad I got him before he started sneezing because they don't take care of the sick ones there


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Yay for Neko!!! He's making great progress.  I had a kitty that fetched, so cute!


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Just a quick update in case anyon eis still following this thread. I think Neko is 100% recovered now :mrgreen: He is amazingly active - flipping, doing somersaults, multilevel jumps, zipping around the room in an orange blur. Heard a huge crash this morning - turns out he had climbed to the top shelf on my desk and knocked everything off lol. No more coughing, or flying snot and his sneezing is practically gone. I actually think he is allergic to catnip, as the last time I gave him some he sneezed 25 times in a row and spent the rest of the night snuffling :? 

Oh, and he has been using the LB consistently - YAY!!! I don't know if that is due to the CA litter, the Feliway plugin, or just his improved health, but I am really happy about it.

Dasher seems to have become accustomed to Neko's smell on things. He has stopped roaming the house sniffing everything with his mouth open. When Neko meows from inside the bedroom, Dasher will sit by the door and listen - sometimes he hisses or growls softly but it seems to be more in an "I'm going to be obnoxious way" than anything else. He also no longer races up the stairs every time Neko dares to meow.

I thought they were ready for the next baby step in intros on Friday, so I followed hoofmaiden's advice on her thread, and waited. BF and I will do the tiny-crack-in-the-door step tomorrow or Tuesday and see what type of reactions we get.

Thanks again to everyone who has resonded to this thread so far! I was really anxious when I posted and you guys have been a tremendous help. :luv I'm sure I will still have lots more questions as we progress


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

That's great news!


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Wonderful!


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## katlover13 (Apr 15, 2008)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Just read this thread for the first time and I am so glad Neko is doing so well! You have really given him a life and it sounds like he was very close to not having one at all.
If you want to get more water into him you might mix it with his wet food. I also feed my cats Wellness and I give them their Lysine and Mega-C plus in it mixed with about 1/8 Cup of water per 5.5 oz. can.
Good luck with the rest of the introduction process!


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## ChelleBelle (Sep 14, 2009)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

That's great! Glad he's feeling so much better. Let us know how the door crack thing goes. If Dasher is fonder of any one person in the household, I'd have that person stand on the side of the door he's at and reassure him, giving him treats and praise while he sees Neko. Then, have the other person on the other side doing the same for Neko. It seems to help with my girls. They have been vastly improving the past two weeks. But, still have a long way to go, Brandy's temper is just amazing the lengths she goes to display her utter disgust for Bella. :lol: 

'Chelle


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

Great idea Katlover! I have been mixing lysine into his food but hadn't thought to add water too. *smacks head* Will be doing that from now on. He will eat dry food (they gave me a bag when I adopted him) but he _lurves _his turkey & liver wet.

ChelleBelle - Thanks. i was wondering who should be on which side of the door. BF and I will be doing the door parties while my daughter is at school. She gets stressed when Dasher growls. Looks like I will be on Dasher's side- he barely tolerates BF. _Which worries me a bit - aren't cats supposed to be really good judges of character?_

My daughter took some great photos of both cats. I will try to make a Photobucket account soon so that I can actually pop them into the thread.


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## ChelleBelle (Sep 14, 2009)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

LOL! Good question. I think cats pick up on cues about how we feel about them. Every cat I have own has adored me, because I am their ah... servant. :wink: Missy (old cat) and Brandy both tolerate my father and boyfriend, but Bella, the kitten, just LOVES them. My boyfriend isn't a cat person, he will take care of them if I can't. But, no playing or affection, they get that and basically leave him alone. He's fine with that, but it's so sad if my Father tries to interact with Brandy and she ignores him. Unless he has treats. Then she's his best friend. :lol:


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!!*

*BABY STEP #2:* Well, we had a crack in the door party tonight. My daughter was on Dasher's side (he's "her" cat) and I was on Neko's side. Cracked the door a bit and secured it with a doorstop. Both cats sniffed each other for a minute or two, and then Dasher hissed. Then he growled. I shushed him with a "Be nice, Dasher. Good boy" and we started giving them treats. Neko puffed up his tail and the fur along his spine when Dasher growled but he did not hiss - seemed more curious than anything. 

I had the door cracked a bit too far at the beginning because they were able to stick paws thru and swipe at each other. I corrected that, but I did notice that at least neither of them had their claws extended when they were swiping. We did the petting, sniffing, encouraging and treats for about 10 mins then let them return to their business. 

Dasher seems fine - he is actually playing around right now - he's been sleeping more and rather standoffish for the last week or so. Neko is his normal playful self. 

So, are these good results? Anything I should've done differently?


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! UPDATED 2/02*

I think it sounds like everything went fine.


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## ChelleBelle (Sep 14, 2009)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! UPDATED 2/02*

That sounds very promising! I expect most cats will be a bit standoffish the first time "seeing" each other. I would continue with what you are doing, probably increasing the time by small increments. Perhaps, after a few days of giving treats, try giving them their wet food with in eye sight of each other from the door and see how that goes. If they both eat while staring at the other I believe that shows a comfort zone between the two. But, of course, work at whatever pace you think the cats and yourself are comfortable with. If they are hissing and acting "tough" :lol: just back off and let them have cool off time. Each cat is different. Obviously from my case. You are doing great!

'Chelle


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! UPDATED 2/02*

Ah, no one understands the pain of introductions until they've been through them. But yeah, it seems promising! Just baby steps and all shall be fine. After a while, you'll look back and see this as a little bump. Good luck!


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! UPDATED 2/02*

Thanks for the encouragement! I am soooooo not a patient person, so these baby steps are _killing me_ :lol: But I know its important to do this right the first time. So, door crack parties it is!


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! UPDATED 2/04*

So, we had more Getting to Know You time today. This afternoon, we had another door party - treats and playtime with a mouse and a teaser wand. They wouldn't play _together_ but they would take it in turns. The door was open just wide enough so that they could see each other and stick an arm thru. No hissing or growling at this part either. Dasher tried a couple of swipes with his claws retracted; Neko just held his ground - no puffing up or running away and he kept talking in his normal adorable way. So I decided to give them dinner together a couple hours later.

Dinner went well.; I fed them both right by the door so they could see each other while eating.Dasher did a few mini growls twice in the middle of the meal- both times when Neko was just staring at him instead of eating _and_ staring. Poor kitty etiquette maybe?  

I needed to clean and vacuum the room, so I decided to push my luck. Put Neko in his carrier on the bed, and then left the door open while I scooped Neko's box, picked up and vacuumed. Probably not the brightest idea, but cleaning without opening the door is a big pain - this weekend I ended up throwing away a litter scoop and a jar of treats by accident because of it. Anyway, Dasher sniffed every square inch of the room, including under the bed. He sat in Neko's fave perch on the chair by the window. Then he slooooowwwlllyyy crept up to the cage. And started growling, lol. I reassured him vocally and he just did an angry MRAO at Neko. Is this the cat version of cussing? Neko just lounged in his carrier talking. He watched Dasher but didn't respond to the aggression. I distracted them both with treats. And Dasher, my big fat, 19-lb, will eat anything the moment you take your eyes off of it cat, ignored the treats in favor of resniffing the room 8O 

I let hikm do that for a few minutres and then took him out. He didn't follow me when I called him (he almost ALWAYS does), but he didn't hiss when I picked him up either (he does do that when he's riled up). My daughter let Neko out when Dasher and I left the room. He seemed fine and just resniffed everything Dasher had smelled. He didn't re-scent anything though.

Neko is settled in his chair snoozing and looking out the window right now. Dasher is sniffing the entire 2nd floor. So, I'm thinking that I pushed it a bit, but didn't do any damage. Will be keeping an eye out for LB problems.Thoughts? Criticisms?


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! UPDATED 2/02*

Criticisms?

Um, yeah! Pictures? Not of the party, that would be too distracting and you have to pay attention. But we always like pictures with our stories. 

Sounds like it went very well.


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! PICS ADDED 02/07*

Another baby step. Last night, Neko with Dasher. N was in his carrier, of course. There was much hissing, growling and even a bit of swatting from Dasher after his food was gone. He wolfed his, and Neko eats daintily. 

Here is the first pic of my boys in the same shot:



Neko isn't so sure about this



Right before Dasher swatted the door to Neko's cage



After their dinner, I put Dasher in his room so Neko could explore the house





Then Neko went to his room, and Dasher came out. He was NOT happy...



... and used the time to explore 



I'm considering trying a face to face intro tomorrow, but I'm just not sure.

My sweeties :luv 





_I'm still trying to figure out how to post images that are the right size. These thumbnails are clickable tho _

BTW, my daughter took the pics while I supervised the kitties.


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! PICS ADDED 02/07*

Oh those are nice pics! Size is good.

Ah, keep it up! Yeah, unfortunately animals really take time to get to know each other. After 3 months, my dog and cat are still not totally hunky dory, but getting there. There's good and bad moments mixed in, but over time, I'm sure both you and I will be laughing about the 'awkward introduction period' like it was nothing.

Let's root for each other. YAY!


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## ChelleBelle (Sep 14, 2009)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! PICS ADDED 02/07*

Aw... what lovely babies. Sounds like it is progressing good. If you do decide to do a face-to-face, I'd be on the safe side and have something on hand. Maybe a big blanket or broom to break up a fight, or a water bottle. Just in case. :roll: One never knows with these darling creatures. 8O 

'Chelle


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! PICS ADDED 02/07*

Alpaca, Miu is _adorable_. I've read your threads about her, but I usually don;t comment because I'm still learning too, and don't feel like I have anything helpful to say. Looks like you have your work cut out for you with trying to integrate her with your dog *and* your mom though :wink: I admire your patience - this intro has been killing me and its only been 3 weeks. Can't imagine sticking it out for 2 months. YAY!!!! atback :mrgreen:


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! PICS ADDED 02/07*

*UPDATE 2/08*

Yesterday, I brought Neko down in his carrier for breakfast time. I put his saucer in his carrier after I placed Dasher's saucer on his placemat. Neko ate with no problems - no crouching down, or looking fearful/xubmissive like in the photos above. Dasher ate 1/2 his food, retreated to the LR for a bath, then came back to the kitchen to sniff around Neko's cage. No growling, hissing or swatting - he just seemed curious. Neko finished eating and started whining to get out. Since they both seemed pretty cool with each other, I decided to push my luck again - filled up the water bottle, took a deep breath, opened the door to Neko's carrier., and settled down to wait for the chaos... which NEVER came.

They sniffed around each other, and seemed ok - no growling, hissing, puffing, swatting. 8O 

Neko followed Dasher to the LR, and they began sizing each other up - hanging out on opposite sides of the room, staring. Neko consistently kept himself in a lower posture than Dasher. Next phase, Neko swats Dasher and runs away. Dasher chases him up the stairs and swats him back. This continued up and down the stairs for about 30 mins, and never got really rough - there were a few snarls and hisses from Dasher but nothing serious. At one point, Neko heads to the kitchen and starts eating Dasher's food. 8O I prepare for a brawl. Dasher heads in to investigate, watches Neko for a second, then starts eating Neko's food. He's Not Mad! Neko drinks Dasher's water. Dasher still isn't mad. 8O 

A couple mins later, Dasher is worn out, and settles down on the floor to doze. Neko creeps up on him and nips his back. Dasher jumps on Neko and they snarl and tussle. I clapped my hands to scare them, then take Neko back to his room. Dasher seems to have had enough for the moment, and I need to shower and do something constructive. Dasher settles right outside the door and sleeps.

Evening: They've both had a nap. I let Neko out again. He comes downstairs, and both cats avoid each other for a while. Then, Neko heads into the kitchen while Dasher is coming out. They meet each other, sniff and... TOUCH NOSES!! Saw this mentioned in hoofmaiden's Jona thread - this is a big deal, right?? They did it about 4 times last night.

I kept a close eye on them all evening, but they seemed ok -have started some games - Stare & Pounce, Hide & Pounce, King of the Stairs, Gallop Thru the House, I'mgonnahityounoi'm not, Smell Butts ( thought only dogs did this :?: ), Swat Thru the Bannister Bars. Neko was out for about 4 hrs. He is still exploring the house in between games. Then, he sees Dasher sitting on top of his scratching post. Neko creeps up and bites Dasher on the foot. Like, actually bites b/c Dasher yowled. So, back to his room for Neko. Dasher prowls around for a bit, then settles on the couch for the night.

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!!! 8O


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! w/PICS UPDATED 2/09*

I think it's going great. At some point, you're going to have to just let them work things out. I kept Cleo separated from Cinderella while I was at work for quite a while, but I finally had to let them be together. Mine never became buddies, they're frenemies who co-exist.

Your situation sounds so much better because they're playing and play-fighting. Dasher will let Neko know when he's pushed his boundaries too far.


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! w/PICS UPDATED 2/09*

I thought it was going pretty well to. And then, about 2 hrs ago, I walked in the bathroom. 

And stepped in a puddle.

Of cat pizzle.

Barefoot.

:evil: :evil: 

And yes, Marie, you're right. One of these days, I _(hopefully, pleasepleaseplease)_ will be employed again, and Neko will have to fight his own battles.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! w/PICS UPDATED 2/09*

Your daughter is in so much trouble! 8O 

I know it wasn't one of your angelic kitties.  

Back to work? Soon - you and me both, Kiki!


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! w/PICS UPDATED 2/09*

OMG, you're right!! I'm going to go have a talk with Miss D right now!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: 

I have cleaned and Natures Miracle'd (thats right, I invented a verb 8) ) everything, so I think both boys will spend the night in their rooms with their litterboxes. I am still trying to think of a place to keep the third litterbox, as Dasher tends to bodily block Neko from getting into his room :? Its by the kitchen table now (we NEVER eat back there) but Dasher can easily block Neko's access.


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! w/PICS UPDATED 2/09*

*LB ISSUE:* Well, both boys spent the night in their rooms. Dasher was supremely unhappy about it - he even pushed his food plate back under the door when he was finished eating. I guess that's a show of kitty disgust? lol They both used their litterboxes last night. This morning, as soon as I let Dasher out, he squeezed himself into the third litter box because he just _had_ to use it first. (He has an XL LB; I had to upsize when he gained weight). I scooped it immediately. Sure enough, Neko used it right after breakfast. I was standing right there at the time, so Dasher watched but didn't intimidate him. I'm still leery about accidents tho. Not sure what else to do. I moved the Feliway dispenser from the upstairs hallway to the LR, because that is where they spend most of their time now. I guess its a positive sign that they both used the third LB?

*BRAWLS!!!* No nose touching today! Neko is picking with Dasher nonstop, and Dasher is dishing it right back. For instance, Dasher was sitting in his fave spot on the back of the couch looking out the window watching the birds outside. Neko kept pawing and nicking Dasher's swishing tail. Dasher swatted back, then turned his gaze back to the window. Neko creeps up and does it again. Rinse and repeat. Finally, Dasher gets peeved and jumps down to the floor for some real wrestling. Kitty cussing at Neko, they're both rolling on the floor biting and scratching. Thank goodness I just cut their nails this morning! I break it up, Dasher settles down, and Neko pounces again. Rinse and repeat. I finally took Neko to his room for a while. Dasher was trying to go to sleep and Neko just wouldn't leave him alone. They're both napping in their separate areas at the moment. All of this, but they still have no problem sharing food. Weird! Must be a cat thing.

Dasher on the Sofa:


Neko in his chair:


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## Mom of 4 (Jul 29, 2006)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! w/PICS UPDATED 2/09*

We go by the old pet is always right rule - even if they really aren't.
Old pet gets first attention. If somebody screams, it isn't old pet's fault, even if it really was. 
New pet is always wrong, even if he really isn't.

Kittens and puppies get by with murder - until one moment when the old pet says enough. The age of the youngster when this happens varies greatly from pet to pet. This is when old pet starts training new pet the rules of the house according to old pet.

My vet told us to do this many years ago. It really works as all of my pets get along beautifully. It was 3 months before I was totally comfortable leaving the kittens lose with the large dogs when I wasn't around.


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! w/PICS UPDATED 2/09*

When there's a new "face" in the house, it seems that the resident cat has to show his dominance. I think time will teach the newbie who rules the roost! I think you have done well. Baby steps are the key! It's possible that their roles will be reversed. Time will tell, but for now, Mom of four is right about the old cat will enforce the rules. I think all will be well.


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## ChelleBelle (Sep 14, 2009)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! w/PICS UPDATED 2/09*

Sounds like it went relatively well to me. Seems that Neko wants Dasher to play and Dasher is telling him "no". They'll work that one out between them.

Have you tried using some sort of interactive toy, perhaps a pole with a feather attached, and getting them to play together? This might help Neko's pushing his playing on Dasher. Perhaps giving them a treat or two when they do play together? Something positive they'd enjoy. Cats seem to be all about positive (FOOD!!!!) reinforcement. LOL! :lol: 

'Chelle


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! w/PICS UPDATED 2/09*

Old cat is always right huh? I will definitely give this a shot. Silly me, punishing the one who's _actually_ wrong :lol: 

We try to have them play together a couple of times everyday. Wand with a feather, as you said. Usually this results in Neko running, flipping and generally spazzing out to get the feather (soooo funny!) while Dasher watches. Dasher will lazily swat the toy if it comes within arm's reach but that's it. I'm hoping Dasher becomes more active as he slims down. 

Yes, we definitely do treats!! Treats when they're getting along, treats when they're playing together, treats when Dasher deigns to share the window with Neko, etc. I bought freeze dried Salmon for Extra Special Treats, like when they greet each other in the morning. Still trying to teach Togetherness = Good Things.

Thanks so much for the encouragement and advice, guys!! I wasn't even allowed pets growing up, let alone _two_, so I'm pretty much learning everything from this forum and internet research. I really appreciate your help :mrgreen:


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

*Re: New Cat Intro: I Feel So Bad!! w/PICS UPDATED 2/09*

So, Dasher has been Right all day and things seem to be settling down. Neko has been free to roam the house for the majority of the day. They are still tussling around A LOT - Neko is quite the little instigator. They have play fights:



Territory Fights:


Neko: _Dude, that's MY Toy!_

PLay hide and seek,



and Neko is wearing Dasher out. 



My daughter _tries_ to wear out Neko too


The fighting looks scary sometimes tho - not sure how to tell when I need to intervene, and when I should just let them sort it out. 

BUT today, I put down Dasher's dish, then turned around to get Neko's. Only to find them both contentedly lapping Wellness Chicken out of Dasher's dish (sorry, didn't get a pic). *They were sharing food.* So, I'm taking that as a good sign.  

Even if Dasher does keep trying to pee in EVERY litterbox except his own. :?


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Sounds like it's going great!

Cinderella tried to keep Cleo out of her side of the house for weeks! They've never shared anything.

I love the stair fight picture.


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

Thanks, Marie! I hope Cinderella is having a good day today, poor baby. [[hugs]]

This morning, for the first time, I left both cats free in the house today - just for an hour while I took D to school. They were both alive when I came back  

The fight on the stairs was funny - they kep taking turns being "Top Cat". And I love the way they stand on their back legs and box lol


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

I was letting both girls be together when I was home, but keeping them separated while I went to work all day, and Lisa (Doodlebug) finally convinced me to let them work it out. 

After three years, my girls wouldn't even _think _of sharing a food bowl. I think your progress is great.


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## Kiki (Jan 23, 2010)

You're right; I'll have to let them work it out all alone eventually. Sometimes when they're fighting it looks like they're trying to chew each other's faces off though! 8O 

Miss D (my daughter) got a pic of them eating together. Its so cute, even though I can't let them b/cit blows Dasher's diet all to heck. Will post pics later when DD is finished hogging my other cmptr. 

Its funny that girl cats can be just as prissy and picky as human girls :lol: And guy cats just don't care - just like men. lol


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## librarychick (May 25, 2008)

This is my first time reading through, and I'm glad things are going well!

I do ave a suggestion though. I do NOT use a 'first pet is right rule' because then Jitzu would be more awful than she normally is. I do disagree with it in general though.

I go with a 'whoever started the issue is in trouble' rule. problem being you have to be able to tell who REALLY started it. A few examples:

1. Today. Torri sitting in the middle of the room, Jitzu comes in. Torri growls and stares, Jitzu pounces. Even though it's usually Jitzu starting things this was Torri. She stared and growled, which was her 'warning' Jitzu...even though jitzu hadn't done anything. Torri's fault.

2. Doran's sleeping on the couch, snoring away (lol). Muffin jumps on top and bites his ear, so Doran bites Muffin's tummy and makes him cry. Yes, Doran did the 'you hurt your brother' bite, but Muffin ambushed his brother! Muffin's fault.

In my multi-kitty house there are always loads of examples, but I do supervise them, and I can usually tell when someone's up to no good. When the boys were younger they would frequently get beat up by Jitzu, but since they had started it it was them that got told off. And I made sure that she got some 'mum time' without the two stupid kitten-things. That helps a lot.

So keep an eye out, and rather thn making one cat the boss, make YOU the boss. I know if I had let Jitzu be boss Torri would basically have starved, since Jitzu thought she shouldn't be allowed to eat. Obviously that's an extreme case, but in my house I'M top cat! lol


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