# Distant Kitten



## WizzaBear (Aug 29, 2012)

So here is the issue I'm running into with my kitten Bandit.

Over this summer I was all over Europe for a singing tour with my chorus. I had to leave him with a friend for 2 1/2 months, which was traumatizing for me, so I can't imagine what it must have been like for him.

Since then, we moved across town, to a new apartment with a new roommate and her cat (about 1.5-2 years old)

Bandit has become very distant, doesn't sit with me, won't sleep with me, but will sleep with the roommate, doesn't hang out in the same room as me, barely lets me touch him.

Are there steps I can take to re-bond with my cat? This whole situation makes me so sad :sad: I just feel so dejected!

Thanks in advance!


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## Delders (Aug 24, 2012)

Hopefully he is just trying to be near the new cat not near your room mate... As a cat newbie I don't have any constructive advice other than keep persevering and if all else fails spray your friends room in citrus? Lol and cover yourself in catnip! X

Good luck with your situation! X


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## minikin44 (Aug 25, 2012)

Some cats seem to hold a grudge... if I've been away for a few days, or even the better part of a day, my cat Tugs will ignore me until he feels I've been properly punished... His moods are usually gone by the next day, though. Maybe try increasing one-on-one time with him and including a lot of positive reinforcement (petting, treats, talking to him in a happy voice) and play time? You could shut him in the bedroom with you at night, though this may just make him scratch or yowl to get out. I hope things improve for you soon, though. It's very hurtful when Tugs is mad at me and that doesn't even last very long...


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## WizzaBear (Aug 29, 2012)

He used to cuddle a lot, but not so much now... guess when he was a baby baby he wanted more snuggles and now he's more preteenish.

I do free feed the dry food, but feed him 2 wet meals a day. Should I stop the free feeding all together? What if he gets hungry in the middle of the day? I feel bad 

We do play fairly often, and I do talk to him in a happy tone as much as I can... Just have to be patient I guess...


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

So how old is he now....5-6 mos.? Definitely in the teenage phase where the name of the game if play and eat, and yes not too much cuddling depending on his personality or breed. In the time you were away he bonded with your room mate, so you will have to try and reconnect with him.....through lots of play, grooming, and especially be the _only one to feed him_ his meals (not freefeeding) and all treats. Instruct your room mate not to feed him or give him treats. Cats are usuallly most closely bonded to who feeds them. Good luck!


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## LakotaWolf (Aug 10, 2012)

Dry food/kibble is so bad for cats :{

Please, cut the dry food out of his life entirely. No more free feeding. A cat's wild ancestors are able to go hungry for a few hours; your cat will make it through the day between canned food meals ;} He'll live. You can spread his canned food into three separate meals if you are home/able to do so - if not, you can do morning - after work - before bed. 

Try to find a treat type he likes, and offer it to him. Try to get him to approach YOU when you have the treat, rather than throwing it to him or putting it on the ground near him.

Good luck!


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## WizzaBear (Aug 29, 2012)

He's a year and change now... I will cut out the dry food!


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## WizzaBear (Aug 29, 2012)

So today while he was napping, I picked him up and put him in my lap and he actually slept on my lap for 2 hours. Hopefully this is progress? I mean, I don't think he'd stay with me for that long if he was really upset... or he's just SUPER lazy! hahaha


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## minikin44 (Aug 25, 2012)

I think it's definitely progress


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## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

To woe him back, I go after my cat wherever he wants when he wants, opening doors for him as he asks, emptying shelves for him to climb on as he wants, feeding him as he goes to the fridge, playing with him when he wants. I just suck up to him for a few days and then he's back sucking up to me.  This happened mostly when I adopted 2 other cats after promising him he'd always be the one and only.


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## dlowan (Jul 13, 2012)

WizzaBear said:


> So today while he was napping, I picked him up and put him in my lap and he actually slept on my lap for 2 hours. Hopefully this is progress? I mean, I don't think he'd stay with me for that long if he was really upset... or he's just SUPER lazy! hahaha



Yay!!!


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## WizzaBear (Aug 29, 2012)

More updates:

He definitely is getting more comfortable in this apartment, and the other day when I got home hopped into my lap, purring! But that lasted all of maybe 15 seconds max.

He still doesn't want to sleep with me anymore  which I really miss. I'm going to try closing him in to my bedroom tonight (he was already in here and I shut the door. He's actually lying on the floor by the door now, but I want to see if he'll stay here through the night)

In the morning when he's hungry he meows constantly and will jump up on to the bed and walk on me until I get up to feed him. At this point he will head butt my hands and purr, but only when he knows food is involved.

All of these things seem like a step in the right direction, but he still won't sit with me when I'm out in the apartment, or even approach me during the day, unless its food time...


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