# Skittish rescue cat still afraid of my husband!



## CJinCA (Dec 5, 2011)

We adopted 2 female 4 year old cats (Squeek and Lickorish) 1 month ago. they were attached to each other since they were kittens so the foster insisted on keeping them together. It only took 2 weeks for Squeek to make herself at home, and she'll curl up with either me or my husband, or between us and always wants to be where we are (except at nap time)

Lickorish is the skittish one. It took her longer time to warm up to me, and now she runs around with her back arched wanting me to pet her when I come around (at night anyway, she just wants to sleep and be left alone during the day), but still stays arm length away. The problem is she still either is afraid of or doesn't like my husband, and runs and hides from just hearing his voice. we've tried having him give her treats and pet her, but she just cowers down and waits for him to go away, sometimes refusing to eat until he's gone. Sometimes she hisses at him. I've tried feliway, and she was a little calmer for a day, then the next day she hissed at him when he went to give her a treat.

Seems Lickorish is very easily upset. The foster said she was stressed by all the other cats in the foster home, as she only likes Squeek and doesn't want much to do with other cats. They were in the home for a year as they were older and harder to find a home for. 

She was mad at me yesterday as I had to trim her claws. They were so overgrown they were curling back around and always getting caught on things. She sulked in her corner for over an hour and went to another floor to sleep last night

Any suggestions?


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## MowMow (Nov 6, 2010)

Patience. It's only been a month and if they are older and have been in more than one home it's going to take time for them to calm down and trust.

You said you had good results with the feliway for a day, I assume you mean the spray? There is also a plug in (like an air freshener) that might work for her for a bit longer to help her settle.

I would let your husband be the one to feed her and care for her from now on. Let her see that he is the giver of all things good. It will be rough on her in the beginning but I bet after a while she'll see he's not so bad.


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## tghsmith (Dec 9, 2010)

we picked out a pair of shelter kitties because they were on thier last hours... emma cat who will still have loves both of us, tinker cat (we lost her last year) hated me for her entire life(15 years) she would sleep on my ankles (so she new if I was awake) if my wife was was out of town she would begrudgingly allow to be petting.. i am the food person for the cats.. some cats are just going to be the way they are (PS I also miss tinker more than most of our cats that have crossed over)


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## CJinCA (Dec 5, 2011)

I used the feliway air freshener, but our house is too open and big and 3 floors (Lickorish only goes to 2 of them, she doesn't like the living room). the cats don't stay in a single room any more. I just got the spray. I also got the pheramone collar but I broke it before I could put it on, so I put it in her bed. That might have been what calmed her, but yesterday she chose a different place to sleep. Will try to get another collar.


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## CJinCA (Dec 5, 2011)

Some progress yesterday! I was afraid of regressing as my hubby didn't see where she was and approached to fast and got hissed at day before. Then she ran off.

Yesterday, she came down from the bedroom level, even though she could hear my hubby talking to me as he broke down boxes for recycling in the garage. It did take some coaxing from me and she came down and went back up a few times. She actually stayed with me in the office for quite some time and didn't run off when hubby came in. She isn't running to hide as soon as she hears him anymore and will look at him from top of stairs, but will still go to the corner and crouch down if he approaches.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

That's progress already. I would have hubby continue to feed Lickorish and be the treat giver, even if he has to toss it at her.


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## CJinCA (Dec 5, 2011)

Yesterday, Lickorish came down to the garage door, where my hubby was. I was in the laundry room and saw her there.. she went back up the steps when she saw me. Hubby was able to get her to play a little with the teaser toy yesterday too. Unfortunately, hubby has a cold now and isn't up to giving treats and food and such. Lickorish is now willing to let him get closer and doesn't run for cover when she hears him coming. for some reason, she doesn't want to come in the office anymore. I was playing in ther with Squeek this morning, and Lickorish would just look in from the doorway. Squeek was hiding behind the grocery and computer bags and tyring to pounce on Lickorish, but Lickorihs just want' into it.


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## CJinCA (Dec 5, 2011)

Hubby got her to come out and play today! But then he had to leave the room to go to work but Lickorish was standing in the doorway. I tried to tempt her over to the other side of the room, but she just sat there.. when hubby started for the door, she ran down the hall and stopped at the other bedroom door, then when he approached she hissed at him, then ran down the stairs. One step forward and two steps back


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## asrowley (Dec 17, 2011)

She sounds like she has major trust issues. It's not uncommon especially with older cats getting adopted. Keep it up, you will hit plateaus like you hit today.  and it is sad nit soon enough they will be pals.


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## Lyndzo (Dec 20, 2011)

I am having a similar issue. I adopted 2 cats, the older one Penny is 16 months. She is scared of both of us, but appears to be warming up to me and not my fiancee. She lets me pet her at certain times but runs the moment he enters a room. 

I know they need a lot of time to adjust. But if you do have any tips that are working for you, I'd love to hear them. Every night I let him feed the cats and he goes to give Penny treats, but it doesn't work (yet). I will keep being patient.


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## CJinCA (Dec 5, 2011)

It took some time for Lickorish to trust me, and even now, we have some setbacks, like when I had to take her to the vet or trim her claws. 

Important thing is not to try to force anything. Your fiance could try to get low and use a soothing voice so he's less scary. 

We tried having my hubby give treats and such with mixed results. What does get her to respond is playing..he'll get out the dangle toy and start playing with Squeek, and suddenly, Lickorish is there. She doesn't play as confidently with my hubby, but at least she's out and playaing. It takes baby steps.


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## CJinCA (Dec 5, 2011)

Last night I got them started playing, and hubby was sitting on the bed watching tv. I handed the wand to him and he continued playing. Lickorish jumped up on the bed where he was and continued playing!

Earlier she had hissed at him when he came down the stairs as she wanted to go up..not sure whats going on in her little head. She'll go near him if she's playing and he's sitting down and keeping his voice low, but seeing him walking or hearing his voice seems to frighten her. Probably doesn't help that he has a loud deep voice and since this is a 3 story townhome, he can be kind of loud just walking around.


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## CJinCA (Dec 5, 2011)

Update: 

Lickorish doesn't run and hide from hubby any more. She is still a little nervous when he approaches, but he's had a little learning curve now too so she doesn't see him as a threat. now he recognizes when she's nervous and lets her have her space. he can pet her when she's up on the bed or other furniture and she purrs! its only when she's on the floor when she's a little nervous. She doesn't jump down from the bed when he gets in it anymore either! Yaaay! She hasn't hissed at him for weeks! She even came into the living room last night when he was there.


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## Lyndzo (Dec 20, 2011)

That's great news! You are giving me some hope for one of our kitties.


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## CJinCA (Dec 5, 2011)

Thought I'd do an update: Today Lickorish and hubby are friends! She isn't nervous around him, will jump up on the couch and lay next to him, and shows no sign of all the fear she used to have. He even held her today while I trimmed her claws and she didn't get mad and run off afterward! So now we think she's happy and comfortable here with us. It all just took time, patience (hubby putting ego aside and learning she's not a dog and not here to please him), treats, and most of all, play.


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## asrowley (Dec 17, 2011)

Oh that's good, I was beginning to wonder about this since I saw it months ago!


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