# Cat getting aggressive when doesn't get his way



## NMickey (Oct 3, 2009)

Hi guys,

I made one post before about my kitty, Paco, scratching the carpet (which he still does) but bigger problems have come about. Forewarning, long post.

First some backround... I got Paco from the local humane society first week of September. Five years old and abandoned during a divorce. Also, they told me the cat was a GIRL. Which makes me think 1) the humane society was not doing thourough exams and 2) he must not have had much vet care in his first 5 years, so who knows how he was treated. My vet deemed him in good health when I brought him in for his exam (and thankfully told me he is really a boy)

He's an independant cat. Keeps to himself during the day unless I play with him. Not a lap cat. But the last month he has turned into a terror. First it started with scratching the carpet. I even would put full blankets down and he's scratch the outside of it. Doesn't like any type of cat post, doesn't like catnip. He's also ruining my blankets when he "kneads" at night.

Now, constant meowing. Mostly it is for canned food. If I am cooking, he still meows. Even a glass of water will set him off. Daily I feed him a little less than a cup of dry and a couple tablespoons of wet (he's 15lbs, big boy) Whenever I open the fridge or prepare food he is weaving in and out of my legs meowing nonstop, or he will jump in the fridge! Now, if I don't feed him or even acknowledge him, when I try to walk past him he will pounce, wrapping both paws around my legs and sink his teeth into me. Two times now he has pounced on my head when I get into bed. Also, he seems to attack me more in my bedroom when I'm trying to get ready. I'm guessing with all my moving around it stimulates him more. If I shut the bathroom while showering he will lay outside the door meowing nonstop.

At night things are bad too. Every morning between 2-4 he gets on my bed, sits pretty much on my neck, and nuzzles and rubs and meows. If I pet him he'll eventually give up, but if I ignore him he will bite my nose or my hands. Right now locking him out is out of the question- I am in an apartment and have the litter box in my room but may have to compromise that situation. But it is hard since that is the only time he is affectionate that way, he will put both paws around my neck, and it makes me melt. 

It is at the point where I can't walk without keeping my head turned. His attacks really hurt me. When he does bite me, I stick him in the bathroom. I've been able to spray him with water a couple times at the time of attack, but I'm scared that's only going to make it worse. I've gotten sprays and collars saying they help aggression with no luck. I am desperate to stop the meowing and attacks, and I'm at a loss over the scratching as well.

If you guys have any advice, it is greatly appreciated. I just want him to be happy and non aggressive! I've read through some things on the net, but haven't found any great material on a cat trying to be the boss over the owner!


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Oh, I think he is a beautiful kitty, and I love the *big* kitties. 

To me, he sounds like a kitty who needs something to wear him out. I would initiate play sessions that make him run, jump and exercise. 
Toys that many cats can't resist are:
Da Bird







Cat Charmer:







and a Laser Light








You can also use cat-trees to give the kitty comfortable perches so he can look out windows and be entertained with whatever outdoor activities he observes. Another helpful thing could be "rescue remedy" or "feliway" to help calm and mellow him out.

I suggested these toys and activities because he sounds like he *needs* to be active and wrestle while he plays. You can use small stuffed toys to toss in the air for him to chase, catch and grapple with. It is *okay* to bite and claw *those* toys. _It is NOT okay to bite/claw their person._

I am going to suggest something, but I need to caution you to not attempt it if you do not feel confident enough to do this.
*Give him what he wants until he doesn't want it anymore.*
He wants to catch you? Let him. But then you immediately catch HIM. I will pick up my cats and just "wrap them up" in my arms. I'll grab them by the scruff with my R hand and lift, using my L hand to support the cat's body as I lift it to my chest. My R hand is grasping the scruff and I stuff their head under my L arm, putting my R wrist right up into my L armpit while I scruff-hold the cat. My L arm is going over the top of my R wrist and my L arm is clamping the cat to my chest. My L hand is either supporting the cat's weight under its' rump or I grasp the back legs. My R arm is layed over the cat's back and the cat is "wrapped up" in my arms.
Then I just stand there. 
I will stand there as they struggle. Only when they *sigh* and give up struggling, acknowledgeing that I am in control, not them, do I release them. If the cat struggle to hard for you to hold in this manner, I would walk quickly and purposefully to the bathroom and deposit them in that small, boring room for a short time to cool-their-jets and change their attitude. Another CF member was having difficulty bringing her kitty inside the house from the enclosed pool enclosure at bedtime, and he would attack her because he didn't want to go inside. I advised her of what I am advising you, but she pulled an *ingenious* move: She grabbed her cat and layed down on the floor, trapping him under her body, against the carpet and using her hands/arms to restrain him. Same thing, she made him acknowledge that *she* was in control before she let him up. I think she noticed immediate results the next night when she asked him to come in at bedtime. He was much more respectful.
When I restrain my kitties because of their attitude, _similar to the cases I've described above_, I want the cat to change its' mind-set and know that *I* am in control, not it. I don't restrain the cat longer than necessary and my goal is for the cat to be completely NOT interested in *catching* or controlling me with it's behavior. After I release the kitty from my restraining hold, it is okay if the cat walks/runs a few steps away, lashes its' tail and glares at me. As long as the cat doesn't "come back for more", then I feel I have successfully let the cat know that I make the rules, not the cat, and it is Not Fun to "catch" me.

Good luck,
heidi =^..^=


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## NMickey (Oct 3, 2009)

Thanks for the reply.

I do have a laser light we play with, I make him jump up the walls and go everywhere, I've never heard a cat pant before him. Also whenever I leave I take out this toy







But only when I'm not home, unless I sit and play with him.

He is great with playing, sticks to the toys unless he accidently paws me. He will play with anything but catnip!

I did read the post about the cat that didn't want to come in..... and when I pin him to the ground or grab him up, he immediately "says uncle" Has never struggled against me when I show him who is boss. Once, after a little too much wine I even chased him around the apartment... :x He ran like the dickens, but he always comes around and seems like he apologizes, if that sounds crazy. 

Since this seems to happen mostly whenever he thinks I have his food on the way, maybe I need to stick to a more firm schedule, and not make a big deal out of it. I tend to give him some baby talk when getting it ready. I just hope there is someway to correct this behavior!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!


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## Josh 91 (Jan 25, 2009)

I feel like I'm in the same situation.. Chloe is a possible stray that turned up on my doorstep a while back wasn't sure she was a stray or abandoned. but she does nearly all the things that paco does if she doesn't get her own way she gets mad. my furniture is ruined, the carpet in a bedroom is ruined and all my screens on the doors and windows are ruined. the only way i got her to settle down was by playing/wrestling her then giving her some mile and biscuits, i sprayed her with a water gun once and after that she hid under the couch for a week, so i wont be doing that again.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Happy Turkey-Day to you, too!

...and that was an interesting bit of info you shared...


NMickey said:


> Since this seems to happen mostly whenever he thinks I have his food on the way, maybe I need to stick to a more firm schedule, and not make a big deal out of it. I tend to give him some baby talk when getting it ready. I just hope there is someway to correct this behavior!


Does he *only* 'attack' you when he knows you are preparing his food? Maybe he is just getting excited and can't seem to control his enthusiasm at the food about to be delivered. In the wild, cats hunt for their food and then they play with their prey to weaken the prey's resistance so when the cat goes to make the "kill bite" the prey is too weak and confused to fight back and possibly bite the cat, which could give the kitty an injury and cause it to fester. 
Maybe, your kitty is simply performing an instinctual behavior (_engaging in play with the prey before dining_) and unfortunately, *you* are receiving the brunt of his instinctual efforts. Another unfortunate turn, is we really cannot fight instinct. It is simply too strong of an urge. The best we can hope to do is redirect those instincts (_such as directing to scratch posts and not furniture, use a litterbox and not a pile of laundry_) so they become acceptable to us. I am not sure how I would redirect this particular behavior... Maybe have a toy that he could have to wrestle with while you prepare his food? Like a small to medium stuffed toy you toss to him, so that he can grapple with and bite it, instead of you?

I like that he 'apologizes' to you. I know that seems like anthropomorphism, but I do believe animals know and can recognize when they have purposefully or inadvertently hurt us and can show concern and remorse, to some degree.

_We also have a kitty who is unaffected by catnip, but we are certain Louie cannot smell, so he gets no benefit or enjoyment from catnip. Louie was found with a *terrible* abcess at about 9mo of age and when he recovered, his behavior indicated that he could not smell. 
He would sniff *very* loudly but continue to sniff and put his nose near very anti-cat-smelling things, like: a glass of Scotch, a cigarette ashtray and sharp-smelling cleaners...things that normally make a cat wrinkle their nose, squinch their eyes and give you The Stink Eye for allowing them to smell something so terrible. Louie just has no reaction to these things at all._


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## NMickey (Oct 3, 2009)

Josh 91, sounds like your situation is a bit more intense than mine. If Chloe is a stray, it will take a lot of loving for her to get used to be back in a normal, loving home.

And Heidi, it _mostly_ is when feeding time is near, but sometimes when he decides he wants food, he just plain _*wants it.*_ So when he doesn't get it and I don't acknowledge and distract him, he will attack as I walk away. At times he is quick to aggitation. Unless it's 2 in the morning and he comes on my chest, he never wants more than a quick pet or two while walking past me, he is way independant.

I'm just starting to think he is plain crazy at times!


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

NMickey said:


> I'm just starting to think he is plain crazy at times!


Yup. [_nods head_] That's definitely a cat.


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## Josh 91 (Jan 25, 2009)

NMickey said:


> Josh 91, sounds like your situation is a bit more intense than mine. If Chloe is a stray, it will take a lot of loving for her to get used to be back in a normal, loving home.
> 
> And Heidi, it _mostly_ is when feeding time is near, but sometimes when he decides he wants food, he just plain _*wants it.*_ So when he doesn't get it and I don't acknowledge and distract him, he will attack as I walk away. At times he is quick to aggitation. Unless it's 2 in the morning and he comes on my chest, he never wants more than a quick pet or two while walking past me, he is way independant.
> 
> I'm just starting to think he is plain crazy at times!



Yeah she has been half tamed but she has her feral moments, good luck with your kitty and hope everything gets sorted out :wink:


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