# Kitten won't let me hug him



## Paul36 (Nov 14, 2009)

When I go outside and let the dog out there are several local cats that just sit down for you and snor and miauw and all they want is being stroked and hugged. And they don't even accept food from me.

My kitten is little over 5 months now. He always follows me around the room, he always wants to be near me but I can't touch him?! If I try to stroke him he'll find another spot within 20 seconds. When I pick him up he'll try to escape within 20 seconds. He was so sweet the first couple of days when he was still weak and came straight of the street but I can hardly enjoy this anymore to be honest.

Is this normal behaviour for his age? Will he become more affectionate like other cats once he gets older?


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

My cats do not like being picked up, much less being hugged. And I understand how you feel, I would love to hug my little girls. But cats want affection on their own terms, and some cats just aren't that into you.....hugging them.

The way I'm working on getting my twins to not dislike being picked up is to make it interesting. I'll pick one of them up, very slowly, then walk over to a cat tree or something it's okay for them to be on, where a treat or toy is waiting on the top level. I'm walking around with them a little more before getting to the surprise. After a while, they'll hopefully begin to associate being picked up with something good.  

Cinderella will let me pick her up and hold her for a little while. The only cat I'm having no luck with is Cleo. She absolutely can't stand to be picked up.

NOTE: Don't put the treat or toy someplace they're not supposed to be, because they will go there to look for more.


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## KittyMonster (Nov 8, 2009)

Cats are definitely finicky. Many times Mak will be lying next to me and as soon as I pet him, he will move away. Other times he'll be walking by me and I'll pick him up and force him to cuddle and he'll purr like a maniac... There's really no telling!

One thing to take note of is where/how your cat likes being pet. Mak _loves_ his chin and bridge of his nose to be rubbed, but even in the best of moods he'll move away if I touch his rump.


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## Xanti (Nov 4, 2008)

Dogs: yesss huggggs, my favorite!!

Cats: meh, Il hug when I wanna hug,


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## faithless (Dec 4, 2009)

The only way Im allowed to carry my owner is by taking her for exploratory walks when I carry her, places she cant reach or is good enough to not reach, shelves in my wardrobe, bathroom, etc. I walk to wherever she's looking. We've got a whole routine by now, just by going where she looks - we start off in her favorite window, then she looks towards the kitchen window so we walk over there - then she wants to check out the counters in the kitchen but shes not allowed to so we move to the 1.5 meter lamp in the living room which she likes to check out from above, then the shelves in the bathroom, then the shelves in my wardrobe where she usually jumps off and likes to check the different shelves by using my shoulder as a ladder. She likes these walks a lot and after a while begins purring, but it took a while and I always let her go the minute she starts protesting so she knows her freedom is never going to be something she cant decide.


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## ChelleBelle (Sep 14, 2009)

I agree with everyone above. Some cats love it and some hate it. Out of three cats, I've had two that didn't mind being picked up at all (Bella and Missy). Brandy, on the other hand, hates it. BUT! For reasons of her being a cat and not listening unless she wants to I was forced to get her use to it. I started out slow only a little while (20 secs maybe) at first. Then like Marie said, putting her down somewhere she liked, and giving a treat. Then the time would increase and she'd get a treat. If she started to even barely struggle before she'd worm around I'd put her down. Now, if I have to put her in a room I can carry her from downstairs in the kitchen all the way upstairs and into a bedroom for her to go to bed. She's not happy about it, but she knows she gets her treat afterward so she tolerates my manhandling (her words if I asked her). LOL! Though on a side note, I am the only one that CAN pick up Brandy without her feisty side coming out. Imagine that. :roll: 

'Chelle


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

Yeps. I agree with what everyone said. I think most cats are independent and you hug/pick them up on THEIR terms. 

With Miu, I'm trying to get her more used to the idea and hope that she'll enjoy being picked up/hugged. I'll walk past her arbatrarily, and randomly pick her up at odd times, carry her for a short distance and then put her down again. I pay attention to her reaction though. As soon as she displays a notion that she doesn't want to be picked up, I carry her for another couple of seconds and then I put her down. I dont' want it to escalate into a forceful and unpleasant thing. She'll tend to want to remain in my arms a bit longer if I carry her into unexplored territory.


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## hoofmaiden (Sep 28, 2009)

One other point: It's been my experience that when you respect a cat's space and preferences, this causes the cat to relax and can often result in the kitty eventually becoming more "cuddly" as time goes by. My Lincoln (declawed by whoever dumped him at the shelter and a biter when I adopted him) was pretty much untouchable for the first 2 years of our relationship. I respected that, and let HIM make all the moves. The fact that I did that seemed to help him learn to trust me, and by year 3 he was lap-sitting. By year 4 (we're now in year 6 of our relationship) he was asking for petting, snuggling in my lap and having his head rubbed, etc. COMPLETELY different cat. But I do think this wouldn't have happened if I had in any way forced my attentions on him.


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## Dave_ph (Jul 7, 2009)

Over time Fay changed her mind and now loves being picked up. The minute I pick her up she starts purring, headbutting my chin, face rubbing and makin' biscuits on my shoulder. 

I think she partly changed her mind because she likes the individualized attention, her step sister Mia can't horn in and partly because I accustomed her to being picked up and held very comfortably for a bit so that I wasn't always picking her up just to move her..take her to the Vet etc.


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## mylsjoey (Jan 27, 2010)

Myjoey would only allow me to pick her up after I get home from work. But after meals, she would run away, hiding behind curtains and coming out to taunt me. :lol: She would always try to grab me by stretching out her hands (her front legs) while hiding behind the curtains. But if I try touching her, she would jump away! :roll:


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