# If cats could hold jobs, what would your kitty do?



## Saydee (Nov 9, 2010)

While rubbing Booger last night before bed I started to think: If cats could hold jobs, what would his career be? I decided research scientist would be most likely. He's pretty timid when first meeting people (this disqualifies most service related careers), but warms up quickly (so he could eventually work in a team in a lab). He's not *so* timid that he'd have to be locked in the back room on a computer all day. He is also very methodical and routine oriented, both positives for a career in scientific research. He also has above average intelligence.

Anyway I'd be interested to hear, based on your experiences with your cat(s), what career would they most likely pursue?


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## Hitomi (Nov 15, 2010)

Video game tester or tail remover.He drags my Wii remote away from me and won't let me touch it And any animal with a tail will have their tail attacked(I think he has jealousy issues).


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## saitenyo (Nov 28, 2010)

Apollo would probably be a spoiled movie star. He loves being the center of attention and is always engaging in ridiculous antics to get that attention. He enjoys excitement in his life and can be very demanding. He'd probably work in action roles, where he can get the most thrill and glamor.

Athena would probably be an eccentric artist. She's a little shy, a little clumsy, and a little spacey about the world around her. She's fairly methodical about her tasks when she's focusing on them, but is so scatterbrained that she gets distracted easily, and loves observing the world around her. She and I actually seem to have a lot in common, and I'm an artist so I guess that works.


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## MowMow (Nov 6, 2010)

Nurse at a mental hospital. He's friendly and outgoing with people. If anyone around him is upset or stressed he works hard to soothe. Tears bring him running from wherever he is and he won't stop purring and squeaking and snuzzling until they stop. If there are any arguments he gets himself into the middle of it and tries to diffuse the situation. 

He's totally into his schedule and daily regimen. God help the person who tries to interrupt that schedule. Messes are not tolerated. Dirty laundry on the floor has him circling and pawing at it in disgust or spills in the kitchen are covered up with the throw rug if they aren't wiped up fast enough. He's definitely got a touch of Nurse Ratched in him.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Cleo would be a sexy little bouncer. Doesn't put up with crap from anyone. Oh, you can try to suck up to her, but it doesn't mean you're going to get in the door. She decides who's in and who's out. Nevermind what anyone else says, *she's* the Decider.


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## beamjoy (Nov 6, 2010)

Freddy would be a toll booth operator or a cop directing traffic.


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## swimkris (Jul 17, 2010)

Pumpkin would be an extreme survivalist. She has quick reflexes, tunes into & catches bugs before anyone else even notices them, doesn't mind a bit of water or cold weather, she's petite but solid muscle, and she's naturally super curious and high-energy. 

Simone would be a conspiracy theorist because he is very distrustful of new people and things. He is a pretty smart cat, but he is ruled by his "flight" response!


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

Abby would be a lawyer...she's always looking for an angle or a loophole in the rules. Muffs is so sweet, gentle and kind. She would be a nun.


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## catlady2010 (Feb 4, 2010)

Memo would be a homeless person. He could never hold a job.


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

Maggie would be the cat on the Enterprise. She's loves to go places where no cat has gone before. She's a fearless adventurer at heart and loves to take physical risks. 

Kobi would be the classic underachiever, a big bully who is self centered and none too bright. He would be fired from any job he might get for being late, having a bad attitude, not getting along with his co-workers and not following directions. 

I have to think more about Holly....


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## Sinatra-Butters (Aug 9, 2010)

Sinatra would be a plus sized underwear model and Nutmeg would be a librarian by day and cage fighter by night.

P.S. I love this thread!


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## Saydee (Nov 9, 2010)

catlady2010 said:


> Memo would be a homeless person. He could never hold a job.


That made me laugh -- After I started the thread I began wondering if someone would determine that their cat could never hold a job!


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## NRD (Mar 31, 2010)

Hersh--food taster for people afraid of being poisoned, or preferably, for a chef in a restaurant. Alternatively, he would be in pest control.

Little Hersh--a cruise ship activities director. He gets along with absolutely everyone and loves to play. He also would likely choose to be a food taster, were it his choice.

Blizzy--detective, if we could keep him on the right side of the law, but more likely a professional burglar. Both professions require keen powers of observation, quick but methodical thinking, and are aided by giving the appearance of choir boy innocence, leading to underestimation of his abilities.

Snowby--a Walmart greeter, provided nose nuzzling was within the rules. She's happy to see people, almost any person, as opposed to any cat, which leads to the opposite reaction. She also would be pleased to accept the position of lap warmer, which is not recognized as a profession but should be, in her opinion.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Cali and Charlee would be a couple of grifters. One would distract you and the other would lift your wallet. But they'd be so charming while they did it.

Seriously. They *must* be the reason I have no money.


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## Layla0710 (Nov 30, 2010)

Layla could've easily taken over for George Bush, Jr. She puts on an act of competency but when confronted with any real responsibility prefers to hide under the bed and since she is 5 months old and still can't produce any more than a "squeak" her vocabulary range is obviously very limited.

Or she could be a model, again based on these same personality traits. Sometimes the only positive thing about her is that she is photogenic; she's flighty, caddy, dependent on others, and would probably be incapable of preforming the smallest of tasks like going to the grocery store alone or balancing a checkbook. But ****, is she cute!


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## Saydee (Nov 9, 2010)

NewRescueDad said:


> Hersh--food taster for people afraid of being poisoned, or preferably, for a chef in a restaurant. Alternatively, he would be in pest control.
> 
> Little Hersh--a cruise ship activities director. He gets along with absolutely everyone and loves to play. He also would likely choose to be a food taster, were it his choice.
> 
> ...


You've really honed in on great careers for your kitties, methinks. I love your comment about Blizzy "if we could keep him on the right side of the law," that's very descriptive!



marie73 said:


> Cali and Charlee would be a couple of grifters. One would distract you and the other would lift your wallet. But they'd be so charming while they did it.
> 
> Seriously. They *must* be the reason I have no money.


Picturing Cali and Charlee working in tandem to lift a wallet is just too cute!


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## shari (Jun 21, 2010)

I don't know if it is a "job" per se but Buddy would have a sugar momma keeping him in the style to which he thinks he deserves. Constant petting, playing, and treats. Wait, he has me for that. . .


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## Huge2 (Jan 28, 2008)

Dictator immediately springs to mind.....


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## tghsmith (Dec 9, 2010)

My miss emma mottlely(dilute calico) performs the job of night watchman from sunset to evening feeding she is watching the back patio for any animals that may appear, in the morning she is the alarm clock, head bumps my pillow untill I wake up(but at correct time)


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

This is so funny!

Murphy would be a talk show host. First he'd do a monologue ("mrrrrrppp? trillllllllllllllllll..........rim shot"). Then he'd hold conversations with guests, interrupted frequently with him jumping on one arm of the couch, bounce to the other, then back down to his seat.


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## Greenport ferals (Oct 30, 2010)

catlady2010 said:


> Memo would be a homeless person. He could never hold a job.


Funny!


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## WhiteKitties (Dec 22, 2008)

Fergie would be a tester of helmets and footwear - she's great at crashing head first into things at full speed, and she's great at figuring out just what's needed to go from passed out asleep to running at full speed in a fraction of a second, squeaking her little paw pads on the hardwood in the process!

Fern would be a government employee. She's always looking for handouts, sleeps on the job, tells everyone what to do, and runs away when any tension arises.


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## beamjoy (Nov 6, 2010)

October said:


> This is so funny!
> 
> Murphy would be a talk show host. First he'd do a monologue ("mrrrrrppp? trillllllllllllllllll..........rim shot"). Then he'd hold conversations with guests, interrupted frequently with him jumping on one arm of the couch, bounce to the other, then back down to his seat.


I'd watch.


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## Dave_ph (Jul 7, 2009)

Fay would be a professional paid subject for sleep research studies. She'd rack up a fortune in overtime pay.

Mia couldn't hold a job either. Could she get SSDI for having severe ADHD?


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## Leivies_Lavish_Cat_Lounge (Dec 16, 2010)

Freckle Bean would either be a muscle builder or she'd just be a bad boys *****, not sure. She's a keen bug hunter and light chaser. She's in superior shape, lean and muscular but she has an above average intelligence level and is extremely mischeivious.... We spell her name T R O U B L E!

Leivie might not be able to hold a job either. If he is determined and talented enough he could be a rockstar or a cage fighter or boxer.... Anything that's permits being alpha, having a bad attitude and ripping your hands to shreds (he's my husbands cat and he plays ROUGH with him, body slam included). Leivie could never be a food tester because he will eat ANYTHING, including salt and vinegar potatoe chips.... YUCK!

Midnight would be a paid prostitute or gigalo.... He is every womens dream lover, and cuddle buddy. He sleeps in my bed with me and slobbers all over my face and in my ears even. O and he's GORGEOUS! To die for beautiful! He's MY cat.

Ingga would have to be a housewife. She's timid, shy, and submissive but opens up as soon as my husband comes home from work and takes of his smelly shoes.... She LOVES rubbing her head on stinky boots, lol. A perfect women for any man!

Precious... Any chance she could get paid for being a b****? Maybe a cutthroat lawyer or CEO business women. She's intelligent, dominant, courageous, confident, adventurous, and she doesn't need no man to take care of her, lol!


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## Saydee (Nov 9, 2010)

Huge said:


> Dictator immediately springs to mind.....


Benevolent dictator or.....?


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## Dave_ph (Jul 7, 2009)

Leivies_Lavish_Cat_Lounge said:


> Midnight would be a paid prostitute or gigalo


Well if they can work in "Adult" Industries Mia would definitely be a lap dancer.


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## Leivies_Lavish_Cat_Lounge (Dec 16, 2010)

LOL, I never thought of that! I dont have a true "lap" kitty, I wish I did


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## karate0kat (Jul 23, 2010)

Let's see, Vala is wary of new people, but is very sociable once she's sure of herself. She charms new people easily, loves to watch surveillance, I mean TV, can gran a quick nap anywhere, and is a master at acrobatics and ninja moves.

Clearly, she's a spy.


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## beamjoy (Nov 6, 2010)

joethemechanic said:


> Princess would be a doctor's wife, She would just do volunteer work when she felt like it, hang around the airport and get her private pilots license, fly when the weather was nice, go shopping, read a lot, and decorate the house


Hey Joe, nice avatar. I'm thinking about naming my house Kitty Land Love Center.


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## Huge2 (Jan 28, 2008)

Saydee said:


> Benevolent dictator or.....?


Probably Hitler. Smart as ****, but a real evil empire builder.

I'm not entirely convinced she isn't that already though.

I did lol at the idea of the kitty prozzie though


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## Olivers-Slave (Jul 25, 2010)

oliver would be a uni-bomber in the mountains plotting the worlds destruction. and hana would be serving him coffee and cookies while handing him the newest plans.... yeah..that's a job


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## Pineapple (Oct 24, 2010)

Haha, what a great post. So funny to hear about cat's personalities this way. Pineapple is a little slow (i.e. with the smarts) and very kitty-ish. She likes to hunt/run, play, eat and sleep. She's very trusting and things don't faze her very easily. I'm not sure what human job that would translate to. Exotic dancer? Haha.


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## Shorty (Dec 23, 2010)

Hm I was gonna say breakdancer but she doesn't have that much grace! She's easily excitable, bumbling, but incredibly resourceful when she wants something. She'd be a great Inspector Gadget!


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## MowMow (Nov 6, 2010)

shorty said:


> .... Inspector gadget!


lmao!!


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## Auntie Crazy (Dec 10, 2006)

Allen would be an underwear model. He's gorgeous, not too smart and prefers laying around looking beautiful.

Rachel would be a CEO in the modeling industry. She's svelte, stunning (and knows it) smart, determined and brooks no nonsense from anyone.

Meghan would have to be a housewife. Not because such a job is easy, but because she's shy and retiring and couldn't handle anything that involved contact with others.

Heather would be a full-time roof-thief/pickpocket. She's smart, slender, quick, incredibly energetic and agile and loves running. (She has a route that starts in my kitchen, continues across my living room, up on the back of the couch to the windows, along the six-foot window ledge, up a level to a cat tree perch, up another level to a different cat tree perch, up on top of my eight-foot wardrobe, across the top, a quick leap to the curtain rod, a five-foot shimmy across the rod to a leap down to yet another cat tree perch, a large leap over to my desk, a quick run across it with a leap to the back of a chair and a final leap to the floor. She does this at least once a day and I laugh every time I see it.)

Spencer would be a bouncer. He's wicked tough and no holds barred when he thinks he needs to be, but a total love-bug when he's relaxed (which isn't often).

Ralph would be a stuntman, for sure. He's tough, smart and afraid of absolutely nothing.


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## Kobster (Feb 1, 2007)

Ninja would be...wait for it....a Ninja. He really has lived up to his name and then some. 
Sully would be a degenerate bum mostly.


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## InsufficientData (Dec 15, 2010)

Algernon would probably be an engineer, if he could channel his love of taking things apart into putting things together. He likes to figure out how things work- and then destroy them, of course. This is, of course, assuming that he wanted to stay on the right side of the law. It's equally likely he'd become (wait for it) a cat burglar. He is excellent about breaking into places he doesn't belong- although he'd be caught pretty easily because he hasn't figured out how to cover his tracks. It would be okay, though, because he'd quickly break out of jail. *grin*

Ernie is harder- he's so sweet and mellow. He's not dumb, but he just doesn't have Algy's ambition. I feel like maybe he'd be a poet- like an old school poet, who sort of lies around gazing at lilies and writing soppily about them. I don't think he'd be a very good poet, necessarily, but he'd be so sincere about it that no one would have the heart to tell him he was terrible. Alternately, if Algernon went the cat burglar route, Ernie would probably be his partner in crime, since he rarely gets into stuff on his own but will happily, aheh, _assist_ Algy once something's gotten started.


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## InsufficientData (Dec 15, 2010)

karate0kat said:


> Clearly, she's a spy.


That is an awesome picture.


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## Janis (Aug 26, 2010)

Lucky would be a Private Eye. He's always peering at us from around a corner or piece of furniture with just one eye showing. Or lurking under the bed to snag someone as they walk too close.


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## LLM (Dec 24, 2010)

Luna would be a model. Midnight would be a constant college student. He always studying everything very intently, always learning. Lynxx would have been a handyman, he was always following my grandfather around, trying to help him fix things in our house.


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## jusjim (Jun 30, 2009)

NewRescueDad said:


> Blizzy-- likely a professional burglar.


A cat burglar! Good choice.


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## jusjim (Jun 30, 2009)

I think Missy might be a service counter rep. I got the idea last night as she sat, legs folded in front, in the opening of the transit box that Zenobi came home in.


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## d_b (Jul 17, 2004)

Baily would be a Philanthropist.
Psycho would be a stunt cat.
Brown Cat would be a taste tester in a donut factory.


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## hdunne (Jan 2, 2011)

Mine would be a seamstress, because she can't leave thread or fabric alone when she sees it. Also, the sewing machine is the only noise-making appliance she doesn't run away from.


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## kittywitty (Jun 19, 2010)

My Little Pumpkin would be a commercial star cat that sells 
pet products. 

My Baby Oreo would be a plumber because she is always hanging out in the bathroom by the warm pipes.


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