# I need another opinion-Update! Can't keep other cat



## newcatowner7 (Oct 25, 2004)

I'm thinking on getting rid of my cat Shadow Blade. She may be too violent for us to handle. I went on a trip with my parents and sister to New Orleans and a lady across the street was watching our dogs and my cat while we were gone.

Well when we were coming home, my mom got a call that my cat attacked her and bit her.

We're lucky the lady didn't try to sue us but I have a friend who has a much gentler cat, but my parents say that I can only get this new cat if I get rid of my old.

Shadow is violent but has NEVER bit someone up until now, while i'm petting her she grabs my hand and kicks with her back feet and scratches my arm and starts biting it, but sometimes she'll purr and rub agianst me and get in my lap.

What do you all suggest I do? I just need another opinion.

The new cat is real pretty, she's a pure-bred Siamese worth $400 and she's 8 months old and extremely gentle, i've seen her and she didn't even scratch or bite while I was petting her.


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## ericalynn429 (Apr 9, 2006)

oh man, this is a hard one. Because you have to think, if your giving this cat away, chances seem like shadow may be euthinised. When somsone will come up to play with her, and she asks the way she does to a potential adopter, they will be turned off by this. And having her stay there for a long period of time, some shelters may euthinise her. 

Is she fixed? i cant think of any reason why she would randomly become aggressive. Maybe talk to a vet or a behavoirist on what you should do to better the problem, im sure alot of people will post once they get to this thread. 

You do make a commitment to this cat. Its like having a child. Some kids are a-holes and others are angels. Yeah, u wish your kid was better, but you dont go trade him in because hes not acting properly. You correct the situation. 

Kittens are always tempting, excpecially a georgous siamese kitten who is gentle and loving and you have shadow at home treating you like crud. I dont know what i would do. 

I wouldnt give him away to a shelter. IS there anyone you know who can work with him and is willing to keep her? Otherwise, i really do think the chances are slim of him getting an adopter unless you come across a no kill shelter and discuss her problems and see what they have to say about it, whether they would euthinise her or not.


Good luck though..And you will probably get more informative posts than this.


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## Orebrocat (May 26, 2006)

What did the lady whatching the cat do? Did she perhaps play with the cat and provoced her instincts? Even if a cat is gentle it's still playfull and the kicking-part is quite normal.
I also think it has to do with upbringing, I tought my cat Kotten not to bite or scratch me from when he was a kitten by using toys instead of my hands when I played with him, and saying a firm "No" when he tried to bite, and he never has (only sometimes accidentally when we play).
I think it's the owners responsibility to take care of their cat and not just go get a new one if the old one isn't all you dreamed of.. there's no such thing as a perfect cat. Pure bred or not shouldn't matter..

Also.. how old is your cat Shadow Blade? Perhaps she'll caulm down when she's older.. is she neutered (I don't know the english word for it.. perhaps it's called castrated, not sure).

I hope that by "getting rid of" you meen placing her in a new home with someone who's used to cats and knows that all she needs is love and patience..
And if she's so aggressive I would take her to the vet to get her checked out and see that she's healthy, sometimes cats become aggressive because they're in pain.


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## newcatowner7 (Oct 25, 2004)

Shadow Blade is spayed

All the lady did was feed her and made sure she had water and left

Shadow Blade does have worms but we got a medicine for that, I just have to give it to her, but it apepars we have lost it >.<

When we tried to give the medicine to her she attacked my father, my friend, and myself and wouldn't let us touch her. She went insane.

And my dad has a co-worker with a barn where she can roam outdoors and catch mice

Shadow Blade was born in the pound where they don't euthanize, and I adopted her so she doesn't have much manners since she was never taught, i'm afraid of giving her to the people who want an outdoor cat cuz she's always been pampered indoors.

She does try to hunt one of our little Chihuahuah's though :lol:

And Shadow Blade...I got her last May...she was 7 months old...*thinks* This is June...so she's over 1 year old


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## kana (Apr 23, 2004)

I'm sure I will get slammed for my opinion, but here it goes. If I had an animal that attacked, without being provoked, then I would be thinking of getting rid of the animal. If you have tried everything to curb this behavior and the cat is just plain mean....then I wouldn't expect you to keep her. I have a friend that had this cat that would continuously attack her and she kept that evil thing until it died of old age. I wouldn't allow a wild animal in my house to attack me or my family and I wouldn't tolerate it in a domesticated animal either.
I adopt my animals with the thought of keeping them for life and will do anything to raise them right and if they were to abuse me then I'm not keeping them...period. 

If my husband attacked me he'd be out of my house also! :lol: 

I'm sure that you posted about the other cat because you were excited, but it could be taken like you want to get rid of your cat for a more perfect one. I don't, however, believe that that is your intention....but I can see where others might think that way. 

YOU are the only one that can make the decision as to what you should do.


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## newcatowner7 (Oct 25, 2004)

Well my mother no longer wants me to keep the cat and has rushed me into making my decision.

We just don't want her to hurt anyone else because she has bitten someone else besides that lady. My friend was trying to give her, her medicine and she bit her.

I've tried squirt bottles, i've tried tapping her on the nose and yelling,"NO!" when she does something bad. When she sharpens her claws in my chair, I pick her up and set her on the scratching post she has and she continues to insist on sharpening her claws on my chair.

But when i'm out of the room, she meows at the door wanting me to come back and sometimes when I look at her, she'll go 'mrrrr' and come up to me and rub against my leg and then insist I give her attention

When she wants to play fetch she'll drop the piece of...whatever she found and rub against me until I see it and throw it

I stopped squirting her with a squirt bottle since I hear it makes them worse and i've even tapped her with a rolled up paper and it still didn't work.

Another bad point is when I pick her up sometimes she'll grab my arm and start to bite it and dig her claws in and kick with her back legs until I set her down and sometimes when I pick her up she'll just lay there and let me pet her and stuff

I'm not trying to get rid of her for a more perfect cat, the other cat I dont' know very well and I do want to spend time with the new cat before I make my decision, but that's not possible.


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## nekomi (Nov 23, 2005)

Sounds like my black cat, Shade... she's about a year and a half old. She's a little bit of a terror at times, but she also has her loving moments... AND she plays fetch just like yours ^_~

Have you tried just giving your cat some space? I've just come to accept that Shade is not the most affectionate cat around... but she is still my baby and my favorite out of my cats.  I know it's hard, but sometimes they can just be moody.

If it were me, I wouldn't get rid of the cat... because like others said, it would probably be euthanized. Think long and hard before you give the cat away.


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## newcatowner7 (Oct 25, 2004)

I've been thinking long and hard on it for about 5 days now

I can't give my cat her space, she has to stay in my room because my parents don't want her on the tables and are afraid the dogs will hurt her and everytime I leave my cat alone she'll go up to the door and start to meow loudly


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## nanook (Jun 12, 2005)

From what you've said it sounds like you have perfectly normal 1 year old cat who hasn't really been taught manners yet and may be a little high strung. She doesn't sound particularly vicious. 
As for the two bitings: She was most likely stressed when you were out of town and that may be why she bit your neighbor. Not that that's O.K. but it's understandable. And you don't know what happened. Maybe she moved too fast and startled her or was trying to pet Shadow when she didn't want it. And if she goes nuts and bites when you're trying to medicate her, again, it's normal. I know you've tried but it sounds to me like she hasn't been properly taught what's O.K. and what isn't. Using the rolled up paper or water spray to discipline her is not a good idea. It can tend to make them even more aggressive. 
I can't answer whether you should keep her or not. Generally, I do think when you get a cat it is a committment for their lifetime but, in this case, perhaps another loving home would be best for everyone since it doesn't sound like your parents are that keen on having cats at all and it may not be possible for her to get the extra attention she needs.
I would not, however, get another kitten as you will, most likely, end up in the exact same situation a year from now.
I know you're trying to do your best and I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but the reality is that cats need to learn boundaries and what's appropriate behavior and unless you are equipped to do that you will, more than likely, end up with a kitty that misbehaves.


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## newcatowner7 (Oct 25, 2004)

I know, my parents hate cates and my mom is just afraid my cat will bite someone else and they'll press a lawsuit and we'll loose because the cat would be deemed 'vicious'

I'm taking my time about the decision to make and the other cat is very tempting because she did not scratch or bite me once when I held her, I even rubbed her stomach and she just looked at me


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

newcatowner7 said:


> I can't give my cat her space, she has to stay in my room because my parents don't want her on the tables and are afraid the dogs will hurt her and everytime I leave my cat alone she'll go up to the door and start to meow loudly


I was thinking that the cat was probably having issues because of having spent the first 7 months of it's life in a shelter. Then I read about tapping her with a newspaper and tapping her on the nose to discipline and the fact that she is confined to your bedroom all the time. No wonder the poor cat is a bit aggressive, she's got to have a serious case of cabin fever. Also, having someone besides you administer medication is not a good idea....she doesn't know or trust these people, of course she's going to act out. Even your father...if she is never out of the room and rarely interacts with him, then she doesn't know him. 

Your parents do not seem to really want a cat as a member of the family. Unfortunately I think you need to find this cat a home where the new family has experience working with cats with bad habits. I also think you need to give up on the idea of a cat until you have moved out of your parents house. Do you plan to go to college? What will happen to your cat when you're gone? It doesn't sound as if it will get any love and attention if you're not around. Sorry if this sounds harsh but as others have said, adopting an animal is a commitment for it's lifetime.


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## Lisa 216 (Oct 25, 2004)

Doodlebug, great post.

I have to agree -- no cat is going to be happy under the circumstances newcatowner7 described. It would explain why she acts out.

I think the best thing for everyone involved would be a new home for this cat. She needs more space and attention than your family can provide.

Please let us know what happens.


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## newcatowner7 (Oct 25, 2004)

Well, I don't want to NOT have a cat

I am planning on going to college and I assure you i'm taking care of this problem too


And now i'm more confused than ever >.<

To give her to a good home or to not give her to a good home? That is the question

We're afraid the dogs would hurt her, that's why I can't let her out. She's perfectly comfortable in my room, when we open the door she is very cautious in leaving the room and seems like she doesn't want to

One of our dogs has killed 4 oppossums so think of what she'd do to a cat


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## Lisa 216 (Oct 25, 2004)

Given that any cat you have would have to live in a single room because of the dogs, that is not fair to the cat. You have to think about what this (or any cat) needs. 

Of course you want a cat, but is it the right thing for you to own one under the circumstances?


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## newcatowner7 (Oct 25, 2004)

I don't know, I had this cat for a year and was just fine until she bit the lady that was taking care of her and after that everything went downhill

My cat REALLY doesn't mind being in my room she's got plenty to do like play with the string and some stuff laying around, she's got a scratching post in my room and often bugs creep in my room that she likes to chase around


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

You are absolutely right to be concerned about the dogs and I commend you for trying to protect the cat. But this is totally unfair to the cat. She hesitates to come out of your room because she's acting like a normal cat, not because she's happy in there. They go into new situations slowly and check them out. Being out of your room is not normal routine, so she will be tentative. The fact that she meows at the door when you leave is a good indicator that she's not happy to be cooped up. She's a very yound cat, she needs room to run and play....my cats run around the whole house, upstairs, downstairs, back upstairs. They need the exercise and the stimulation of the changing environment. Please think about the cat's needs and not what you want, it's part of maturing and becoming an adult. 

By the way, I am speaking from experience here. I am currently going through a situation with 2 of my cats who don't get along. I've had them separated for the last couple weeks with one of them being confined to a bedroom during the day and the other loose. And then I switch them at night. And I try and alternate who is loose when I'm home. They both absolutely hate it. I can't wait to start a re-introduction process this coming weekend and at least get them to a point where I can have them both loose when I'm home. But if I find that it's never going to work, then I will seriously have to consider getting a new home for one of them because this situation isn't fair to either of them.


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## newcatowner7 (Oct 25, 2004)

A cat keeps me company though, and since i've lost my doggy Iris i've been left without a friend

I don't know what to do now, I want a cat but if I don't have a cat i'll get lonely in my room


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## Lisa 216 (Oct 25, 2004)

Maybe you should consider a small caged pet for company, something that doesn't need alot of room to move about like a cat. 

I'm not trying to be rude, but if you're spending large amounts of time in your room, possibly you need to get out more, too.


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## newcatowner7 (Oct 25, 2004)

Meh, this is Oklahoma, the town I live in has nothing of interest to offer


Some people go snowboarding, horse back riding, bicycling and stuff like that

I'm not athelitic, I don't have a horse, a bicycle, and it hardly ever snows in Oklahoma

some teens go out with their friends-My friends have less of a life than I do >.<

Besides, staying in my room with my videogames and laptop keeps me out of trouble

and my cat is content I assure you, she's up on my bed right now sleeping peacefully


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

Why not have one of the other dogs in the house come into your room? Or maybe another dog that is yours. It sounds like your parents are more accepting of dogs than cats and it could be pet that the whole family could accept. Having an animal in the house that some family members hate is just not good for anyone.


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## newcatowner7 (Oct 25, 2004)

I've had a dog come into my room, one of our oldest dogs that LOVES to chase CATS came into my room and she didn't mind my cat at all and my cat was just watching her like,'What the heck is that?' but eventually left her alone too

and when I move into my own place, i'm taking my cat with me

Oh yes, and I do have a ferret in my room in a cage, sometimes i'll take him out and the cat plays with him and chases him around and stuff


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## MandyJoBo (Apr 13, 2006)

Newcatowner, you are being extremely selfish. You want a pet so you won't feel lonely, but when someone tells you that you're making that cat feel lonely, bored, etc. you have to "think" about what to do. You are more concerned about your needs than the needs of a pet. 

You want to get a new cat because you can't handle this cat, which is not entirely your fault, because a lot of people can't handle "bad" cats. The fact is, the cat is not bad. The situation in which is lives/has lived is bad. 

Honey, you don't need a pet - you need a friend. What you're searching for isn't going to be found in a cat or a ferret. Ferrets shouldn't be kept in cages all the time. They're a lot like a cat, in that they need room to roam and play. They NEED companionship. 

My advise is to find good homes for your cat and your ferret. I understand the desire for animal companionship, but your circumstances aren't right for one. When they are, you will undoubtedly enjoy a great relationship with any cat you choose - WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT. 

Why don't you play with your dogs? They can be great fun! You can go outside with them and get some fresh air. You will feel a lot better and less lonely.


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## lilaccat3456 (Apr 27, 2006)

This is a difficult decision for adults to make much less a teenager. Unfortunately, I think your parents have contributed to this problem by allowing you to have a cat in the first place. Keeping an animal in one room (which is most likely around 10 feet by 10 feet) is not fair to the animal. Your cat's behavior is completely understandable considering the stifling environment she is in. It sounds like the woman who was bit may have been bit because your cat has felt she has to become super protective of her environment and when a stranger came in, your cat protected her space. 

I know it is very difficult, but it really is better to find her a new home and not to get another cat until you move out on your own. Maybe you could interact with the ferret more in place of your cat. That way the ferret will have a better life too.


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## ericalynn429 (Apr 9, 2006)

i personally think you have made your decision. You are defending shadows behavior and trying to convince us here on this forum that she has a good life. I think you really want to keep her and i think thats what you are going to do. 

My kittens, never want to leave the computer room. i have a dog that is the same size as them and doesnt even relise that their cats. She walks by the kittens like their a statue. They Rub up on holly like they would are legs. but they wont leave the room. Across the hall to the bathroom, and thats it. The door is always open but they prefer to stay in there. Everything they have is in there, maybe thats why. I think cats can be content in one room, beacuse mine dont want to leave. Ill bring them in the living room, and poof their in the computer room again. 

Let him come to you when he wants to, dont force him to you unless you have to give him medicine. try to make it less tramatic. Pick him up, pet him, get him relaxed and then give him his medicinee and then pet him again and reasure him its okay. 

I think you should however, concider finding him a new home, if you find that you are away from shadow more than than you are with him. Since you are the only one interacting with him, its not fair if he spends all day alone. 

And yes their are plenty of no kill shelters but he is going to spend the rest of his life in a small cage.


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## lilysong (Apr 4, 2005)

I don't think your home is currently suitable for a cat, and I don't know how going away to college is going to fix this. Do you intend to get your own apartment your first year of college? Very few students do this, because it's difficult and expensive.

Your cat may purr and seem contented sometimes, but his behavior indicates that there's more to the story than you want to acknowledge.

Edit:



> A cat keeps me company though, and since i've lost my doggy Iris i've been left without a friend
> 
> I don't know what to do now, I want a cat but if I don't have a cat i'll get lonely in my room


You've also said that you have a ferret. Why isn't this good enough for you?

Further, getting lonely in your room? How long are you in your room every day that there's danger of you getting lonely? When I was a high school student, I was at home and in my room when I slept. I really don't think this is a good reason for keeping a cat in the situation you have yours in.


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## DesnBaby (Apr 18, 2004)

Its really not healthy for the cat to just be in your room only for her/his mental, physical and emotional well being  .


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

This thread has been kind of bothering me all day. A question....did the neighbor who was taking care of the cat come in a meet her and spend a little time befriending her before you left on vacation?


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## Paw Prints (Apr 1, 2005)

It would be nice if you thought about this from your cat's point of veiw. You are keeping this cat so you don't get lonely? How do you expect your cat to feel when you aren't there? You are putting your cat in the exact position you don't want to be in - alone in a room with no one for company when you're not there. 

Also, ferrets are just as active as cats, and need lots of time out of their cage every day, not just once in a while. This situation is very unfair to both your animals. 

Why not find new homes for them with people in your neighborhood, or near your neighborhood? Then they could be happy, but you could go visit them.


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## gizmocat (May 22, 2006)

Your pets need attention, just as a child would. It is cruel to keep them in one room, or in a cage.
I teach at a University where Freshmen must live on campus. They are not allowed to have pets. Many other schools also have this rule, since so many pets are neglected or abandoned on campus. So you won't solve your problem when you 'go off to college'.
I'd get away from the computer and the video games, get out of your room, and meet some people. Pets should be adopted when you have the time and money to support them.


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## ericalynn429 (Apr 9, 2006)

i go to college , and i dont live on campus, i am a freshmen. I belive that if you are responsible and mature, their are ways to do what you need to do and still have pets. I go to school and work and still have cats that are well cared for and happier than anything. I feel as though, if i had one cat, maybe the situation would be different. They have eachother to play with while im gone, they hardly pay attention to me when im home anyhow.

you are thinking steriotypically. Yes most people in college rather be with friends and party, what not. But their are a good majority of us, that dont. That work and go to school and go home and sleep so we can do it all over again tomorow. 

And why are we all assuming this cat is neglected? Im under the impression that she goes to school and doesnt work. So are you people implying that when you leave to go to work, your neglevting it. School is about 6 hours, which is less than what most of us work a day. Shes home at 2:00 and spends the day with her cat... i dont get why its wrong!?!?! She said she doesnt go out, so she is home. Most of us go out after work and do things. So theirs another cupple hours your not with your cat, wow i diddnt relise what a bad cat owner i was?????? :?: (sarcasm) 
So in reality, she seems like a better cat owner than me. 

newcatownder7 --- how is his behavior? is it getting better? Have you tried to consult someone about his problem? I think you should work with him on it and not get another cat. Hes allready friends with phantom, you dont want to seperate them. lol. I dont think you should worry much about what people here are saying as long as you work with him on his problems. 
You can have a cat going through college as i do and they are the best kitties ever. No complaints. You just need to make sure that your time is not devoted to entire school work than bed. Your pets need to be invloved in their as well. IF you find yourself in that schedual, than it would be best to find him another home. But you dont need to worry about that yet. Deal with it when the time comes. 

I see no problems in seeking your animals for comfort. They are the best stress relief. My dog knows when im sad and she will cmoe up to me and love me and cuddle. When i find myself in tears, i go lay with my dog. When im lonely, i go play with my animals. Why is that bad for the animals again? her lonliness is equaling more time spent with the cat. So again, i deff see where the neglect part comes in :?: Seems like both of their needs are being met. 

Well, im tired from this post, so im not going to say anything else


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## gizmocat (May 22, 2006)

*please read other post*

I think everyone on this forum should read the post called "Irritated".


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## ericalynn429 (Apr 9, 2006)

As do i, since im the one who posted haha. IT does contribute to this topic. If you want a cat, you need to be able to deal with the ups and downs and be prepared for the downs emotinaly and financialy. 

Newcatowner --- Ive said this before, i dont think your neglecting your cat whats so ever. i feel like your spending all the time in the world with him based on you saying you stay home all day, in your room; where the cat is. BUT you do need to be prepared for things like this to happen. When you get an animal you need to think, what if it gets sick or has a problem, am i going to be able to do anything about it? I know that in the heat of the moment of getting a new animal, no one thinks of these things. They look at the cute cuddly kitten and say I WANT with no thinking. Pets need time and patience. If you are not willing to help shadow and work with him, than you should not get another cat to replace him. more than likely this behavior will repeat itself in the following cats you get. You need to seek the advice of a professional. IM sure there are MILLIONS of websites on here on how to correct certain behaviors. You cant give up on him because its not a convience to you. IM sure he doesnt enjoy being a pain in the butt, i bet he liked life alot better before when he wasnt so stressed. So please be patient and willing to work with him. 

So, i hope hes doing better. I hope he was just stressed due to the fact you guys were gone and that hes getting back into the swing of things. We havnt really heard of an update from you recently.. i may have skipped over the post.


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

I don't think most of the people responding were stereotyping college students. Most of them _are_ college students!  We have far more college students here than we do more mature adults. Don't worry; we like young people! However, my college did not allow cats. I guess they have discovered that also.

I went back to college when I had 3 children at home, 4 cats and 3 collies! But there's no way the college would have allowed me to keep a cat. I do think our furry friends need another cat for company if they're alone a lot. My cats probably wished they had a bit more alone time!


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

From what I've gathered from other posts, Ericalynn evidently lives at home while going to college (which is what I did)...and I'm sure that works out fine for her pets. When I posed the college question to Newcatowner7, I was thinking in terms of going away to college. If she does leave home it is highly unlikely that she will be able to bring her pets with her. And that is why I am concerned about her cat....if she goes away to school and can't take the cat, what happens to it? Her parents obviously don't want anything to do with it. The Shelter I volunteer at has an age requirement of 21 to adopt because of this type of situation


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

Yes, that could be a real problem.


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## newcatowner7 (Oct 25, 2004)

I have a friend who would probably be willing to take care of Shadow while i'm away at college, and I may go to a college close to home

In the end with choosing, I may have to keep my cat cuz the cat I was wanting turned out to be pregnant so my mom definantly won't let me have a pregnant cat!


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## lilaccat3456 (Apr 27, 2006)

Wow--maybe you need to rethink even keeping Shadow. Shadow is already having problems and you sound reluctant to try to rememdy them. Your response even said "I may *have *to keep..." and since that is how you feel, Shadow would probably be better off with someone who isn't just keeping her because the other option didn't work out.


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

From the "Tom & Jerry: Shadow Blade & Phantom" thread:



newcatowner7 said:


> I don't know about you guys but a strange twist of events just took place
> 
> It turns out the cat I want is pregnant so I can't take her; however, my MOM is now making me get rid of the cat.
> 
> ...


There's obviously a problem here and the poor cat(s) is the victim. Lots of conflicting information from a totally self centered person, who seems to be clueless about cats, their behavior and their needs. I know this sounds harsh, but her posts make me angry. She is doing nothing to remedy her "pathetic lack of skills", despite many suggestions and advice from people on this board. And I probably shouldn't be angry at her as she is still technically a child. It's her parents that are the root of the issue from what I can tell.


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## newcatowner7 (Oct 25, 2004)

Self-centered? You don't know me, but I don't want to argue, but I don't like to be judged

I've followed many suggestions and i'm doing the best I can. I didn't mean to make anyone mad 

I'm just trying to get help, this was a stressful decision, my cat has her good moments but she has a lot of bad moments. This morning I found her asleep next to me.

Like I said, I don't want to argue and i'm following a lot of suggestions and considering many options. I even have a friend who's helping me take care of my cat, she knows a lot about cats.


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

Please remember to be considerate to fellow members with problems, and keep the problem and the person separate. It is forum policy to show respect to all members. It is also more effective. Thanks to all for cooperating.

Jeanie
Cat Forum Moderator


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

Yes, Jeanie....you're right....

Newcatowner7....I apologize for lashing out at you. As I said, I do know that you are a teenager....I need to temper my expectations and help you to learn.


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