# Please help me with a young Kitten Update: Success W/Photos!



## kwelz (Dec 11, 2009)

Hello everyone first post here and I need your help.

I am a cat lover who recently lost one of my babies, a 2 and a half year old Domestic Short-hair. As fate would have it I managed to rescue a stray this last Tuesday. She is about 8 weeks old and weighed in at 2.2 pounds when I took her to the vet. 

She has had limited interaction with humans, mainly through feeding on my back porch. So she wasn't that hard to catch but once she got into the carrier she went postal. Literally bouncing off the walls hard enough to move it around. The Vet had to use a Welders glove to handle her and finally sedated her so they could draw blood, etc. 

Right now I have her confined to a bathroom. If I get any closer than 2 foot or so she freaks out. Hisses and swatting out me. Obviously she is acting very Feral. Also she is constantly crying and it is tearing me up.  

I have read up on how best to tame a Feral Animal but I am still worried about her. What milestones should I be looking for? Any specifics I should know? I want to do what is best for the kitten and find myself in the unusual position of not knowing what the heck to do. I would love to take her into the family but worry that she may be already to far gone. =\


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

Welcome to CF and I hope we can help you. I foster, tame and socialize feral, semi-feral and poorly socialized cats for adoption and to become my own personal housepets. Many feral socializers feel there is a "cut off" age when trying to tame kittens or young cats. Myself, no one told me about that so I was never limited when working with my feral projects and I have managed to tame and socialize every single one.
I think the biggest difference is *time*. People who work for adoption organizations really don't have the time to put into a long project. In order to help as many as they can and keep the resources spent in the best and most efficient manner, they must concentrate their efforts and resources on producing a quick turn-around from feral to adoptable.

How old is this kitty? Your post didn't say her age, only her weight of 2.2 pounds.

First, your bathroom is The Best Place for her because it is small, easy to clean and she cannot become inaccessable to you. I don't know if you've done this yet, but have you given her a "safe cave"? She needs a place she can retreat to, to hide and feel safe, but that you can access in an emergency. I like to use a large-ish cat carrier with fluffy towels in the bottom to sleep on and another towel draped over the top, covering the vent holes, propping the door open (_so she can't be trapped or denied access_) and sort of draping down to create a small opening for her to pass through.

Slow and steady will win this race. Try to keep every experience positive. Don't stare directly at her, as cats view that as aggressive. Instead, smile gently with your lips closed (_no teeth showing_!) catch her gaze and then slowly blink your eyes at her and/or slide your gaze away from her. THIS is a body-language message to the kitty that *you* aren't alarmed and trust her enough to NOT watch her every moment to guard against attack. Another audible signal/message for trust, is to *sigh* and visibly relax your shoulders.

Begin with simply spending time in there for the kitty to grow accustomed to your smell, voice and presence. Sit or lay on the floor and read. Reading to the kitty, or just talking to it, helps to accustome it to your voice. Keep your voice low, lightly sing-song-y and speak smoothly and slowly; _soothingly_, sort of like trying to get a baby to sleep. Next would be to offer good food and try to sit quietly as the kitty comes to eat. Over time, you can move the food closer to where you are sitting, trying to get the kitty to allow you close to it while it eats. I sometimes try to hand feed a chicken mixture, and that has helped me quicken the process, mostly just to get them to accept that I can bring Good Things to them. After they will eat with you nearby, then you can try to gently pet the kitten, but keep it short and only the head/shoulders so the kitty doesn't think it needs to defend itself from your advances. Sometimes, the kitty will get offended/frightened if you just touch it out-of-the-blue. Some want to check-you-out before they allow you to touch them and they do this by sniffing your fingers before you touch them. YOU know you are friendly, but the kitty has to learn that you are and that petting can feel lovely before they progress further with socialization.

Anyhow, that's enough to work on for now. Signals you'd like to see from the kitty are a relaxed posture and demeanor: eyes not so wide, ears/body relaxed and tail not clamped down/around its' legs, sitting up and not crouched down or slinking as it walks. If you can get the kitty to *blink* back at you when you blink at it, that is GREAT progress, in my book. A wonderful milestone on the road to success as it shows you the kitty is beginning to trust you because it is no longer watching you intently for any aggressive moves.

Check out the stickies at the top of the Feral Forum. There are some linked resources. MuttCats and LittleBigCat have some great articles about working with ferals and I trust their information 100%.
heidi =^..^=


----------



## kwelz (Dec 11, 2009)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

Thanks for the advice! I had a carrier in there with a towel that she could lay on but I did not have it covered. I have already corrected this. 

We are estimating her age at about 8 weeks, I somehow didn't put the number in the original post. Sorry about that. 

Here is a photo of her NOT being friendly. 


As you can see this has interrupted my home painting project LOL. Don't worry though. Everything has since been moved so she can't get into it. 

She really is beautiful though. 










On the up side my other two don't seem overly freaked out at the constant Crying coming from the bathroom. In fact I think it is getting to me more than it is them.


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

Oh! Poor, sweet baby, she looks scared! ...and she also looks older than 8wks, to me. I'd put her age at around 10-12wks old. Still, I think the cut-off where rescues deem a feral cat too old to work with, is around 5-9mo old. The reason this age is so difficult to work with, is because at that age they have been weaned from their mother/littermates and if they do *not* toughen up and become independent, they die. It is just something about their attitude and mind-set at this age as instinct prepares them for survival and it is hard for us (_rescuers_) to work against, but I feel it *can* be done. It just takes longer.

How does she behave when you go into the bathroom? 
I *use* my bathroom when I have fosters. They usually crept into the carrier and stayed hid while I used the toilet, shower and sink. Even blow-drying my hair. I know the hair drier is loud, but I think it does help desensitize them to loud noises (_vacuum_). After a bit, the kitties would hang out in the sink while I was in there. I would place a rumpled hand-towel in the sink for them to lay on.
Here is a pic of my fosters in the sink:









I got these kittens when they were about 4mo old. Mischy in front and Bella in the back. Notice how they are both trying to be as 'flat' as possible and have their eyes hooded, yet alert.









I had Bella first and she was doing *great*, purring and kneading when I scrubbled her, but on day 3 I trapped her sister Mischy who was much more cautious and she put Bella on-the-alert and Bella regressed to the same degree Mischy was at. It took time before they would let me touch/pet them, but they first started showing they accepted me when they would take their attention _off of me_ to play:









It took me a long time to gain their trust, and it wasn't until after they had to spend 2dys at the vet for their spay that they finally allowed the walls to come down. When I returned and brought them back home, the realized I was The Good Guy because I saved them from the scary vet place and we made GREAT progress from that point forward.

Relaxed and happy, just before they left for the adoption center:










_Ah, painting. I *love* to paint! ...something about seeing fresh paint go on the walls. It gives me the same satisfaction as vacuuming carpet because when you vacuum, you see immediate results and the vacuum-tracks prove a job well-done. I like to paint late at night, after the husband has gone to bed; not coming along behind and bothering me or making any messes and the phone doesn't ring to interrupt me. I even painted my neighbor's bathroom and hallway one weekend when they were away visiting family ... so I could let myself in and paint late at night. I also painted their Living Room, but I did that when they were home because I was on a tall ladder. Visited my Mom in California in October and I painted the bathroom walls and ceiling for her.
I like everything about it: preparing the supplies, masking off with tape, painting and pulling the tape off. I'm not a big fan of cleaning the paint rollers/brushes, but when I do, I know I've completed a Good Job, so even that has some satisfaction in it, too._


----------



## kwelz (Dec 11, 2009)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

I know she is terrified.  I don't like it one bit. Of course I am not the most hansom guy in the world so maybe that has something to do with it. 

When I go in the bathroom she stops whining and hides behind the toilet. If I move to fast or get to close she will hiss and lunge a bit. It is better than it was but still sad 

I don't think I could foster. I grow to attached to our furry friends. Even this little girl who hates me already has a place in my heart.


----------



## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

Your kitty looks more than 8 weeks. It look more like 3-4 months old. Id try Heidis Kitty boot camp ideas to bring her around if you have the comittment to make her a house cat. If you dont then Id spay/neuter and shots and tip her ear plus get her weight back up to release her. Be sure and release her in the area you found her. Then continue to feed her/water and provide shelter during cold weather. That way she has food and a life where she is free to be feral.

Here is Heidi Kitty Boot Camp 

Hello, I am Heidi Young and I will be sharing the feral cat taming and socialization techniques I was taught through the For Paws Sake Adoption Program for taming and socializing feral and foster kittens/cats who needed more socializing and handling confidence before they could enter the adoption program to find a home. 
Key elements of this program are patience, persistence and consistency applied in an advance/retreat method. You need to advance to make progress, but you need to retreat before you've reached the cat’s maximum tolerance level. 
Through this handout, I will discuss in detail, my Kitty Cat Boot Camp methods for taming and socialization of the feral kitten/cat while keeping the handler safe. These techniques also work on adult cats who need more socialization and handling confidence.

I advocate pushing the cats' comfort boundaries little by little but being relentless and persistent in getting forward progress. You need to advance to make progress, but you have to watch the cat and retreat before you have reached the cats' threshold level of tolerance for the action. Watch the cat and continue to work up to their known limits, but then use your judgement to determine if the cat is ready to be pushed just a little further. In addition, you sometimes need to push a cat who has “stalled” in forward progress beyond their comfort zones to make that cat see and accept that what you are doing is good and not harmful. With this in mind, I feel it is important to mention how detrimental it is to allow a cat to call-the-shots without pushing them beyond what the cat believes is good enough. It is up to us to push beyond those barriers and show the cat a human/cat relationship can be better. Every cat who is fostered with me is worked through these progressions so I am assured of covering all areas and creating a confident cat who can become a family pet.

Of course, the younger you are able to trap and socialize a feral kitten/cat will give you faster results. However I also believe that older kittens reaching the generally accepted “cut off stage” can still be socialized and become great pets, it just takes more time. In addition, adult feral cats can also be handled in this manner, though I admit all of the adult ferals I have had contact with were first tamed outdoors and completely with their permission and acceptance, because they could leave my presence at any time, while progressing slowly through the stages of handling I employ with Kitty Cat Boot Camp. I would like to add that almost all adult feral cats I socialized and handled became my own happy housecats after we had progressed through certain key elements of my boot-camp program. These cats became and remained my own due to the amount of time I had to invest in them. My most challenging feral TNR took almost 4yrs from TNR to become one of my relaxed and confident housecats. 

*Confinement Area:*
I place the kittens/cats in a small and safe environment. I remove anything the kittens could harm themselves with. I also make certain there is no place in that environment where they can hide and become inaccessible to me. I prefer to use my master bathroom which is easy to clean if there are any ‘elimination accidents’ and not a bedroom that has furniture that can be crawled under or into. I do want to provide them with a place to hide and feel secure, but I want to have access to them at any time I wish.

I have used the new/clean top of a jumbo litter-hood laid on a folded towel or blanket or a large cat carrier with a folded towel inside, the door propped open and another towel draped over the top to provide a more enclosed and ‘safe, cave-like’ area for them to feel comfortable in.

*General Overview:*
Certainly a person needs to work at the cat's speed, but you do need to make progress while you listen to what the cat can tolerate.
I will say again:
"Advance/Retreat. You need to advance to make progress, but you need to retreat before you've reached the cat’s maximum tolerance level." 
In the fostering system, more cats can be helped if you can make progress quickly and maintain, reassure and reinforce that level of trust over a period of time before the cat goes to the adoption center to find their permanent home and then more fosters can come in to be helped on their journey to finding a loving home.

Patience and consistency is key and always be reliable. Not like ‘being on time' reliable, but as in ‘the kitten can rely on you and your actions’ reliable. This is the beginning of trust and I work hard to maintain it with no back-sliding. I will speak gently to them in a low voice. Sometimes I even just hum nonsense sounds. Anything that is slow and soothing. I will blink my eyes at them, or catch their gaze, blink slowly and slide my gaze away from them. This seems to tell them: “I am not so concerned that I feel I need to watch you every moment I am around you. I trust you.” This gives them the message that they can also begin to relax. Food is a great motivator and one I shamelessly use.

*My Secret Weapon:*
Cooked, shredded chicken breast mixed with an undiluted (or maybe just a little water or milk) can of Cream of Chicken Soup. Make sure the chicken pieces are small, kitty-sized bites and the CofCSoup helps the chicken bits stick to your fingers for hand feeding.

I stick some of the chicken mixture on the ends of my fingers and just reach my hand into the carrier opening. I don't go ALL of the way back to the kittens, but I do put my hand in pretty far. The usual reaction is to hiss and cringe backwards into a tight huddle, but they cannot resist the smell of that delicious chicken, and they begin to eat off my hand. Over time, sometimes a few days, I will be able to lure them closer to the opening of the carrier and even getting the braver ones to come out TO me. From there, I progress to canned food mashed around the edges of a plate and while they eat, I will pet and stroke them. I don't dab hesitantly or fearfully at them, I just reach out confidently and pet them. When they stop trying to scoot or slink away from my hand and pay more attention to eating, then they are ready to move on to the next step.

*Kitty Cat Boot Camp Begins:*
This is where I begin forcing my attention on them. I sit on the floor and grab them firmly (gently) by the scruff and place them on my lap, facing my knees. Then I hold them by the scruff and pet and rub them all over with my free hand. IF they begin to relax, I'll loosen my scruff hold and scrubble the fur at their neck to 'erase' the memory of me holding them. Then I let them move off my lap if they wish, though I continue to pet and ruffle their fur in a pleasing, massaging manner as long as they allow it. 
The goal in this exercise is for them to walk, and not dart fearfully, away.

If the kitten is fearful and does not relax at all, I will only handle them for about 5-15 seconds per handling session. When I am done handling them I take them off my lap and set them close to the opening of the safe-cave and release them like it is no big deal. I do not watch them to judge their reaction because a direct stare is viewed by them as either predatory or confrontational. I know they may turn and look at me and I do not want them to see me staring at them with interest. I want them to learn that I will hold them, handle them, not hurt them and I will not hold them against their will forever because I will release them. Nothing to get worried or excited about.
The signal I am looking for when handling them is small signs of relaxation and I try to reward that by lowering my handling intensity, which encourages them to seek it.

As this progresses and you can see they aren't behaving in a confused manner when you set them away from you at the end of a handling session, try watching for signs of relaxing on your lap as you are handling them; they may raise their rear end when you pet them, they may unclamp their tail from being wrapped tight around their hind legs, they may move/adjust their feet on your lap to get more comfortable and they may rub their face along your scrubbling hand when you pet their cheeks. When they show you these relaxing signs, loosen your grip on the scruff hold, scrubble it as if you never really wanted to 'hold' them there and just make it part of the handling process.

You have reached a crucial and pivotal point in releasing the kitten at this stage!

At this point, you still need to watch the kitten’s body language because you won’t have control of them when you release the scruff-hold and you need to continue to make this a good experience for the cat. Use both hands to lightly pet and scrubble the fur. You may still want to stop the attention before they are ready, but you can watch to see if they are asking for more attention. You can let them get up from your lap and leave of their own accord. You can also ask them to come back by wiggling your fingers in invitation to come back and step onto your lap so you can rub their face/cheeks with your fingers. Maybe just hold your hand up and let them rub their face into it. You can hold your hand to the side and wiggle your fingers in invitation for them to follow your hand off your lap for attention and then lure them back onto your lap. 
All of my cats learn that wiggling fingers means petting and scrubbles, come and get it if you want it. Some will even rear up to push their head into our hands or come running from across the room when they see the finger-wiggle signal.

When this stage has been reached, I am ready to progress for much closer handling techniques. I will sit down, pick them up and hold them to my chest, upright and also on their backs like a baby if they will allow it. That progresses to lifting them from the floor and onto taller surfaces, like the toilet lid, the bed, the counter, my lap when I am seated, et cetera. Little by little I will hold them in the 'lift' for a bit longer and longer. I can feel them struggling to get down/away but I just hold them firmly as I slowly lift them and place them where I want. It is a direct lift: floor to chair. Then I ignore the cat. I don't look at it to see how it is reacting, I just do it, it is matter of fact, then it is done and "no big deal". As I progress, I hold them in the 'lift' for incrementally longer periods before setting them on the surface. 
Again, the goal is I do not want them to try to dart fearfully away from me when I set them down. I want them to take the time to process what happened and to understand that nothing bad happened while I was lifting/holding them and it was okay for them to allow me to do that. I want them to not struggle and learn that I will lift them and I will let them go, it isn't a big deal. 

From there I progress to picking them up and holding them while I stand, then we progress to me holding them and walking a few steps with them. I hold them firmly, even if they struggle, and then lean down and deliberately place them on my bed, petting and ruffling their fur until they relax and realize nothing bad happened and I praise them lavishly for being so 'brave'. I try to never let the cat ‘escape’ and leap away from me. I want to set it on the bed so it knows that is where I put it and I will always set it down when it indicates (struggles) it wants down. To work past this in boot-camp fashion, I will slowly increase the amount of time I hold/carry them and be slower and more deliberate in setting them down.

Another area I work on is to get them to allow me to kiss them on the top of their heads, back of shoulders and eventually their nose. When the kittens are comfortable around me, I will duck down and give them a quick kiss before they even realize my face is near them. You must be very careful in this stage, because if you have pushed too fast, too far in this area your eyes will be in great danger if the kitten becomes frightened or defensive. I usually begin letting them get comfortable around my face by laying my head down (floor or bed) at their level and allowing them to approach if they wish, before I start pushing my attention on them and getting my face closer to them.

One of the last things I do with my fosters is to treat them a little roughly. I will handle them quickly, a little fast, maybe not so careful but never cause them pain or drop them. I also move a little quicker, more unpredictable and speak and laugh louder and abruptly to get them used to those motions and loud sounds. I need to get them ready for the public and children to be able to handle them, so that is why I treat them casually just before they go to the adoption center. I want those familiar and not-so-careful handling techniques to help them not be frightened if they are handled in that manner. 

Taming and socializing adult ferals or indoor cats who need more socialization skills:

The above techniques also work with adult ferals, including ferals who are outside and coming to feeding stations and indoor cats who have been poorly socialized. It does take longer to work up to getting close to the outdoor feral cat and in getting the cat to learn that handling can feel good and does not need to be scary, but it can be done. 

Almost all of my adult cats were tamed OUTSIDE before they were allowed inside, so the process took much longer than it did with kittens. Malibu took 5mo from TNR to letting me touch her fur for the first time and Pretty took 14mo from TNR to that first touch. Both are now happy indoor/outdoor (mostly indoor) cats who follow me around the house, lounge on my lap when I sit and snuggle with me when I sleep.

Same rules apply: Advance/Retreat. You need to advance to make progress, but you need to retreat before you've reached the maximum tolerance level. 
Begin by sitting near the cat and push closer each time until you are touching them. Sometimes I put them on my lap and will hold them by their scruff and scrubble/pet with the other hand. Again: "No big deal". Then I will set the cat away from me and ignore it. I don't want the cats scooting away from me fearfully, but I want them to know I was holding them and I set them loose again. When I am handling them, as soon as I feel the cat relaxing even a little, I loosen the scruff hold and scrubble their neck to 'remove the memory' of the hold and let them leave my attention/lap as they wish. No big deal and I don't keep looking at them to judge their reaction. 

I want them to learn I will handle them and let them go, I will not keep them against their will forever. The signal I am looking for when handling them is small signs of relaxation and I try to reward that by lowering my handling intensity.

To get cats used to being handled/picked up, I begin by picking them up from the floor and placing them immediately on a low surface (cat-house, coffee table, couch, chair). I can feel them struggling to get down/away but I just hold them firmly as I lift them and place them where I want. It is a direct lift: floor to chair. Then I ignore the cat. I don't look at it to see how it is reacting, I just do it, it is matter of fact, then it is done and "no big deal". As I progress, I hold them in the 'lift' for incrementally longer periods before setting them on the surface. 

*How to Handle Cats Who Are Reactive-Aggressive:*
You will have to be patient and consistent, but a cat can be 're-programmed'. It seems some cats want attention and loving, but they don't know how to respond to it. You can help with this by beginning easy-loving-petting sessions often throughout the day and doing it for very short durations. Some cats are reactionary due to over-stimulation and this is what I look for when handling them: Watch the cat’s body language. Most cats will 'warn' you before they strike, though sometimes the warnings are very subtle and can come very quickly just before the strike, so it isn't very much time for you to react to the warning before you are struck. 

Watch the ears, are they flipping forward, sideways and back? Are they flattening down? Is the cat turning their head to look directly at you with an aggressive look (ears and whiskers forward, eyes wide) or is the cat turning their head to look at your hand? Are the cat’s eyes darting around or the pupils dilating wider or fully open? Is the cat slinking their body away from your touch? Is the cat rippling their skin after your hand has passed over their fur? Is their tail tapping, flipping or thrashing? 
All of these can be signs that the kitty is getting over-stimulated and may react. Retreat and give the cat a break before continuing. 

To help a cat get past this, you can begin petting lightly or scrubbling your fingers into the fur of neck, shoulders and cheeks. I would mostly pet only the head/shoulders before venturing down along the back and I would certainly wait until they are responding positively with those offerings before trying to touch their sides, belly or feet. The best times to pet are when they are feeling sleepy, not when they have just eaten, been playing or are about to play. Always stop petting before they are ready for you to stop. Leave them wanting more and do not give them the chance to get irritated and swipe at you. 

*I also want to mention play:*
Play can be used to distract a nervous cat and allow them to focus on something to help them combat the nervousness of a situation. I feel playing is a very important part of bonding with a cat, though it would be best playing with toys that keep your hands away from their sharp bits. I like to use wands with string, feathers or other toys on the end and laser lights to give the cat a rousing good cardiovascular workout and keep your hands safe from playing claws. My cats also like to have soft/plush toys tossed over their head for them to leap and catch or chase down the hall. I do not encourage any playing with people's body parts (fingers, hands, feet).

Thank you for your time and I hope you will have found this presentation of my Kitty Cat Boot Camp techniques informative and able to assist you in your feral and socializing programs.


----------



## kwelz (Dec 11, 2009)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

I THINK I may have made some progress this morning. I took food in to her and set it down. She hissed at first like normal but I sat on the floor next to the cabinet. She eventually came out and sat down next to the food. Her ears were up a bit and she even cautiously moved forward a bit and sniffed my toe. She ended up sitting down about 18 inches from me next to the food but didn't eat while I was sitting there. 
It is worth noting that she kept crying the entire time. I can tell a difference in her tone, almost like she is losing her "voice" from the constant crying.


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*



kwelz said:


> I THINK I may have made some progress this morning. I took food in to her and set it down. She hissed at first like normal but I sat on the floor next to the cabinet. She eventually came out and sat down next to the food. Her ears were up a bit and she even cautiously moved forward a bit and sniffed my toe. She ended up sitting down about 18 inches from me next to the food but didn't eat while I was sitting there.
> It is worth noting that she kept crying the entire time. I can tell a difference in her tone, almost like she is losing her "voice" from the constant crying.


Well, I think that is *great* progress. She has come out of hiding, approached you and *sniffed* you all on her own! When she meows/cries, talk back to her. It can be little nonsense things, like: "Oh, baby, I know it. It's so scary to be somewhere you don't understand what is going on. I'm here to help you and give you a better life." I also make soothing 'humming' sounds, like: "Ummmm-hhhmMMMmmmm" or "Um-hm-HM-hm-HhhhmmmMMMMmmmm". I am a firm believer that cats *can* understand the meaning and intent behind our actions/words, because they are GREAT interpreters of Body Language, and as they spend more/more time with us, I also believe they understand and can/will learn specific words and phrases.
It sounds like you're doing great.

My KCBC is very intense and I don't think she is ready for that right now, but it would be a good idea to read through it mostly as an introduction to cat psychology and how they react to various stimuli. I think I've got my chopped chicken mixed w/ Cream-Chicken-Soup for hand feeding and *after* she has begun to allow you to pet and possibly lift her, then you can work on the socializing skills outined in the KCBC. It is a lot of information and quite a bit of it may not apply in your situation with this kitty, but the overall theme remains the same for handling every cat: 
Slow and steady wins the race.
Let her set the pace and only push it forward if she *_stalls_* in forward socialization progress.
Try to keep every experience positive.
It takes as long as it takes, each kitty responds differently and she'll let you know what she's comfortable with.

Good luck, sounds like things are going well for you and her!
heidi =^..^=

I'd keep up with the food treats and sitting quietly with her.


----------



## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

I beleive cats can pick up on our energy. Send her calming energy and send her silent thoughts that you love her and will do nothing to harm her when your sitting by her as she eats.

Ive watched feral moms send messages to their kittens. Sounds wierd I know. but the
kittens will will be out being friendly with us and I can see the moms face~ carefully watching us~ then the kittens will suddenly turn, look to her and go back to her like she has sent them a message. "Enough get back here!"

You are making good progress with this kitty.


----------



## kwelz (Dec 11, 2009)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

Thank you both once again. I am glad you feel this is progress. Heck maybe I am the one who needs encouragement LOL. To me this is like having children, you want to make sure you are doing everything right because a slight screwup can lead to lasting damage. 

One interesting thing, I just went in to get the food bowl. She had moved it to the corner she has been hiding in so I can't get to it now to remove it. (smart cat) 
But when I was leaving the younger of my two cats was outside the door. He did not hiss or spit, he just seemed curious as to what was going on so I left the door open for a moment while I stood there. The kitten stuck her head around the corner and looked at Ronin for a bit. They had a bit of a staring contest but no hissing, tail flaring, or otherwise aggressive behavior. In fact Ronin seemed very relaxed. The kitten was still cautious but remained quiet while they could see each other. 

How do you all feel the interaction or even just visibility of my other cats would be to this poor girl? I know that at this time I can't let them interact because The kitten hasn't had all her shots yet and I think she has worms. However would letting them see each other like this be a good or bad thing?


----------



## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

I have great respect for my friend, Merry (Mitts and Tess). However, I recommend that you allow the kitten or cat to make the decisions as to when it wants to be touched. I would not pick it up until it has shown that it wants to be touched...by rubbing up against your hand. This doesn't happen in a day or two. It takes patience, a dimly lighted room, soft music, and the human being sitting quietly on the floor, with a bowl of food nearby. A book comes in handy, if you leave yourself enough light.  I would use canned food, but have treats on hand also. 

I would put the food at a distance that is comfortable for the kitten now, and sit there for at least half an hour. Gradually move the treats or food a bit closer until it is very close to you. When the kitten gets interested in your hand (curled fingers), wait, although it is tempting to pick up the kitten. Wait until the kitten rubs against your hand before touching it at all. Have treats ready for the kitten; that will make the procedure work more quickly. If you touch the kitten and it runs away, be patient. We probably look like giants to them! 

This method is gentle and effective. Eventually, you can put the food on your lap, and finally pet the kitten. I wish you the best. Thank you for caring.


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

I _said_ that. :lol: 


> My KCBC is very intense and I don't think she is ready for that right now...
> ...it would be a good idea to read through it mostly as an introduction to cat psychology...
> ...*after* she has begun to allow you to pet and possibly lift her, then you can work on the socializing skills outined in the KCBC.
> It is a lot of information and quite a bit of it may not apply...
> ...


----------



## Mikayla (Aug 14, 2009)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

Thanks for giving this beautiful little girl a home. Good for you! 
Just wanted to add a little experience about having the kitten see you interact with your other cats. When I was getting my little feral, Timothy, used to me I let him see me talking and cuddling my other domesticated female feral. I feel that seeing that interaction really showed him that I was safe and was instrumental in my being able to pet him eventually. It took a while but this took place outside where I wasn't able to contain him as you are with your little one and Timothy was about 6 months old at the time. I, too, am of the idea of letting the kitten come to you and gently touching her tail and working your way up as she's ready, but that has just been my experience with mine. I don't have as much experience as some of the others on here.
It sounds to me that you are making good process with your baby! 

Lori


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

Lori is right-on! Every cat is different. Most of mine I began with touching their shoulders/back and sometimes their head/neck. But Malibu ... would turn around and ONLY present me with her *_tail_*. I had to lean waaaaay out to stroke her tail, but after I had done so, she would happily turn around for attention and petting/scrubbling on her head, cheeks, neck and shoulders. 
Also like Lori, all of the adult ferals I have tamed I did so outside with NO confinement on the cat's part. 
It took me 5mo from TNR (_Trap, Neuter, Release_) to be able to lightly touch Mallie for the first time. With Pretty, that first touch took 14mo. Yeah, _a year and two months_. Pretty has been my most challenging feral-to-housecat project. It took 4 years of effort for me to gain her trust and help her transition to a confident and relaxed housecat. Like Lori, I had another cat for Pretty to watch me interact with; Dusty, a big ole Tomcat. He was also TNR'd but he became friendlier, faster. _I truly feel that if I had not had Dusty for Pretty to watch and take the lead from, I'd have *never* been able to get close enough to ever tame and socialize her._ 
As a tragic sidenote, Pretty didn't really bond with us until after we lost Dusty suddenly at the first of the year. Without him, she needed to attach herself to someone else, and she chose us instead of the other kitties. She gets along with all of the kitties but she prefers to be with either my husband or me. This last year my husband has been working on handling her and has made such great progress that company/visitors can approach and pet Pretty without her becoming nervous or running off. That is very rewarding to see.

I also use one of my former ferals, Louie, to help me raise/foster kittens. He *loves* every cat and is always the first kitty to be intro'd to fosters and help me socialize them to other cats. 
It sounds funny, but Louie is one more tool in my bag of cat-taming tricks. :wink


----------



## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

kwelz, I'm glad to see that you're making progress. It's so important not to push the kitten, but to allow it to approach you....I would not grab it. Good luck.


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*



> ....I would not grab it.


Neither would I. You cannot begin socializing a feral kitty right-out-of-the-blue, there are slow and steady steps of preparation while building degrees of trust the kitty and handler need to work through in a positive manner before progressing further with socialization.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/socialize
Socialize: to make social; especially: to fit or train for society or a social environment
Other definitions: 
...take part in social activities; interact with others;
...a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.
1.to make social; adjust to or make fit for cooperative group living
2.to adapt or make conform to the common needs of a social group


----------



## kwelz (Dec 11, 2009)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

Some updates. 

She is devious but I THINK things are getting a bit better. SHe isn't as scared acting as before. She no longer hides behind the toilet. However she is not taking up station on the sink and when I open the door she is acting like he might bolt out. With my hand on the doorknob it was about 6 inches from her. she was ok at first. I made no movement then she gave a little hiss and struck out. YIKES. I forgot how much kitten claws can hurt. 


Now I am a bit worried to go into the bathroom because if she escapes to the rest of the house I will never track her down.


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

Hmmm... As my foster kittens become more tame and socialized, _and ONLY when they will consistently come to me and/or let me pick them up and handle them_, will I allow them to have the master bath AND bedroom during times I am not sleeping. When I slept and needed to use the bathroom I would have to crack the door, tell them to "get back" and then sort of siddle/squeeze myself in/out to prevent them from darting through.

It sounds like she is looking to *escape* (_lunging, hissing and swiping_) and I think I *would* be concerned with 'losing' her in the house if she did get out of the bathroom. You may want to consider trying to ramp-up your socialization work with her so she can have more freedoms without feeling she needs to escape. It *is* boring in a bathroom and if you can make your visits fun, enjoyable and pleasant I think it would go a long way towards gaining her trust, being able to handle her sooner, rather than later and having the ability to allow her more of the house to explore and live in when she finally *does* allow you to handle her.
She really is a very lucky kitty to have landed with you. Have you given her a name? Best of luck!
heidi =^..^=


----------



## kwelz (Dec 11, 2009)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

No name yet. I need to see what her personality is like when she is not scared out of her mind. 

I waited her out and got in the bathroom with her food. I took my laptop in there and spent a couple hours just talking while surfing the web. 

I put the food bowl between my feet and she ate just fine. She even touched my feet while eating after sniffing them and didn't seem concerned. She is still scared but I am finally starting to get a bit optimistic. She seems calm when I am in there and will sit at either the opening to the carrier or behind the toilet and stare at me with her ears up instead of pinned back.


----------



## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

Im concerned that the poster doesnt think I mean for him to force himself on the kitty. 
Its the difference betweening forcing verses coaxing. Im talking about coaxing. Coaxing pushes a ferals familar limits. They only know feral behavior. but the more they are around you and become familar with your presence they understand you never hurt them. Yes they are uncomfortable but it isnt with forcing them. Your forward actions are uncomfortable but always done in love.

Its the same as the difference of breaking a horse verses gentling a horse by understanding their ways and temperment. You wear them down till they understand and concede to what your trying to get them to do. Like horse whisperers do. Were just being cat whisperers!  

None of this happens over night or even months. Sometimes it take years. It took me 2 yrs to bring my _fake_ feral Toby, as we call him, around. He wouldnt let me near him in the beginning, now he is at a point where he always flinches when I reach to rub him and rub his belly. but he never runs but purrs and lays there. But there is still the initial flinch after all my working with him.

My biggest miracle happened last year at this time. He was seriously injured outside. The wound became infected when my sister found it on him. I took him to the vet. He had to have surgery. I thought we were going to have a H*** of a time medicating him and keeping the drain in the wounded area till it could heal. but it was like he understood. He let me examine the wound daily, left the drain in and let me medicate him with out a fight. He understood I never ever hurt him or abused him. He trusted me. He understood he wasnt always comfortable with my actions but they never resulted in pain or fear or hurting him.

I think it is the same with bringing your kitty around. Its all about coaxing her limits. Communicating to her thru actions and mental messages and prayers you love her and want the best for her. You are offering her a wonderful life with you. She is making good progress. Keep the faith. You are making all the right moves to bring her around so far.


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

*sigh* :luv Merry, you explained that so much better than I. 
_I think I'll search out my KCBC post later today and edit it to reflect the word change so there are no more misunderstandings about how to socialize a kitty._


----------



## kwelz (Dec 11, 2009)

*Re: Please help me with a young Kitten*

We have success. I am writing from my bathroom right now because the little angel won't let me leave. 

When I brought her food tonight she was cautious and hissed at me again. However after she ate a bit I moved the bowl next to my knee. She rubbed up against my knee and I Decided to take a chance. I reached down, let her snif my hand and tried to pet her. Not only did he let me but she leaned into it and rudded against it. Now she won't let me stop. She has started purring and is currently leaning against my hip grooming herself! 

I am quite happy.


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

OMG that is AWESOME!!!!! 
Wow! You have made AMAZING progress! Good job! I am so excited for you.  

In her pictures, she has 'soft' eyes, her body is relaxed and she is showing you her most vulnerable part: her belly AND putting her feet/legs on you. Cats are *very* protective of their legs/belly area and will ONLY allow them to be handled or shown when they *trust* you. Man! What a GREAT JOB! 
Keep on building with these Good Things and experiences and you'll find very soon that she'll stop her initial hissing at you and turn into a Love Bug. From your pics, it looks like she really wants to BE a love bug. What a cute little bugaboo! I think, if you and she keep this up, you could let her expand her 'territory' one more room, like the bathroom and bedroom? 

With your housekitties, hold the door open a crack to allow nose-sniffs and footsie. Progress when there is no more hissing. Then crack the door a little wider so they can see each other and maybe meet nose-to-nose for sniffs. Again, when there is no more hissing, then you can proceed to oepn wider and see how they interact, being ready to safely step in and seperate if there appears to be any problems, then just back up and begin again.

WHAT GREAT NEWS! :luv


----------



## Mikayla (Aug 14, 2009)

Oh I am so happy for the both of you I have tears. I'm so glad she found you and has a family. Beautiful!


----------



## KittyMonster (Nov 8, 2009)

Those photos are fantastic... You would never guess that this little kitty was feral and hissing only a few days ago!

Congratulations! :mrgreen:


----------



## kwelz (Dec 11, 2009)

Thanks all. I am excited. I know this is just a first step but it is a big deal to me and I am having to force myself not to rush it when I go back in there.


----------



## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

I think it's wonderful!


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

kwelz said:


> Thanks all. I am excited. I know this is just a first step but it is a big deal to me and I am having to force myself not to rush it when I go back in there.


No worries! Handle her all she will allow you to. Flood her with it, if she lets you. The more you handle her the more she will grow to learn that this type of handling is "normal" and she will accept it more and more. 
Do everything you can that she will allow, she'll let you know how fast she wants to accept things. :wink Good job!

THIS is AMAZING!
*From this:*








*...to this:*


----------



## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

this is cause for celebration!







WOW.. Im so impressed how fast she is coming around. 
She has made _the decission_ she trusts you. Great job. What a sweet face she has.


----------



## kwelz (Dec 11, 2009)

I just thought I would give you all an update. She is doing very well. I went to the vet the other day and got her some meds fo intestinal parasites, other then that she sema very healthy. I have stared leaving the door to the bahroom open. She doesn't venture out much past the door but has started exploring the spare room right next to the bathroom. 

Ronin has taken to her very well. He will sniff her and then just lounge around nearby watching her. Max is a bit more cautious. He will get close but still hisses at her. He has even swatted at her once or twice , although it appears he is keepng his claws retracted. She loves to play and will let me hold her most of the time. 

Overall wonderfully progress I would say.


----------



## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

That *is* wonderful news!


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

kwelz said:


> Overall wonderful progress I would say.


I AGREE!  _...any closer to a name for the little bugaboo?_


----------



## Mikayla (Aug 14, 2009)

Congratulations to all of you!!


----------



## kwelz (Dec 11, 2009)

A few people wanted to know if I had named her. Indeed I have. Her name is Jaina. Don't ask.. ;-)

She is doing well, especially with the other cats, however she is still a bit skittish of me. If I can get her she lets me hold her for a few minutes and there are times I can walk up and pet her. But more often than not she will dart away if I reach towards her. I have started putting her in my office when I am here with the door shut to get her more used to my presence. I think I may have given her free range of the house to soon and that is the problem. 

She has also taken a liking to my gunsmithing table. Thankfully there is nothing there she can hurt herself on, but now every time I go to do any work I have to deal with her darting away and making a mess of things LOL.


----------



## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

You are so right! It's a joy to read a success story like yours. Enjoy your new pet, and thank you for caring.


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

kwelz said:


> I think I may have given her free range of the house to soon and that is the problem.


Maybe, and maybe not. I think the more time she spends around you and your other kitties, she will learn to relax and become confident when she learns everyone's routines. Part of her 'darting' issue, is instinct. Kittens this age (_after weaning and before true adulthood_) have an awful time surviving in the wild. They have been kicked out from the litter by the mother-cat, who is usually preparing to raise her next litter and these young cats have to search out and find a new place to survive, defending food and shelter resources from other cats. These kittens *must* become independent and self-sufficient or they will not survive. The problem with kittens who were begining to be feral, or who were poorly socialized, is they do not realize they no longer have to behave this way because we will provide everything for them. With domestic kittens who have always been raised in a loving home, those behaviors present as extremely rough play. It will simply take time for her to relax and adjust, but it will happen.

We caught Shasta as a kitten (9-11wks old) in our garage. I kept her in a large cat carrier, but on the 3rd day, she escaped and was loose in the house. BUT ... she fit right in, blended easily with the adult cats and seemed to follow-their-lead and quickly became relaxed and confident around us. This improved dramatically when I began socializing and handling her more and more.
It will come. Just keep working slowly and steadily towards your goal of having a relaxed and confident house-kitty. Jaina is a pretty name, too.


----------

