# When and how to say Good Bye



## KitkatnDaisy (Oct 21, 2009)

I noticed that my sweet little Kitkat would go to her bowl but would only sniff it and then find a place to sleep. Shortly after I noticed she slept a lot (more than usual). Then one day my husband noticed that she was lethargic and looked like she lost her glowing spirit. We took her to the vet, they took xrays and said she should stay there because they couldn't figure out what was wrong. They saw a darkness in her lungs and thought it was an infection or ammonia. They got her rehydrated and gave her antibiotics, it looked like she was getting better, this gave me so much hope. 

We got to take her home and I was so happy to have my little girl home again. After 3 days of feeding and giving her water with a syringe it became apparent that she was not improving. The worst part of it was giving her the pills, she gagged and suffered. We felt bad so we took her back to the vet and she stayed over night. They did an ultrasound and had used a camera to figure out what was going on. We were told later that day it was the worst case scenario: lymph node cancer in her throat which spread to her lung. Her lung was completely damaged. The finality of it, the fact that there is nothing I can do scared me. They said there is no point in continuing with antibiotics and asked us to consider her quality of life. 

We took her home, heart breaking sadness consumed me. She attempted to eat the first night, then went to sleep upstairs. I cried myself to sleep after kissing and petting her constantly. She came into my room in the middle of the night and slept beside me like she always did but eventually left to sleep in the closet. 

The hardest part is 3 weeks ago she was so full of beans and was her usual playful, happy, affectionate, sweet self. It's not fair, she is only 7. She is too young too die. I am not ready to say good bye.....I can't imagine my home without her.... or what it will be like coming home from work and not seeing her stretch and then greet me. What am I to do with her toys,blanket, food bowl? I can't imagine putting them away forever. I am going to miss her so much I feel this incredible shape pain killing me. 

She is only alive because I am giving her a syringe of water and food. She sleeps in a tiny ball in my gym bag in my closet. It's breaking my heart. I don't want her to go, it's too soon. She is the sweetest little kitty, and she is in pain.


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## my5kitties (Sep 13, 2005)

KitkatnDaisy said:


> She is the sweetest little kitty, and she is in pain.


If the roles were reversed, and you were in your beloved kitkat's place, would you want to live a life of pain? Please consider what kitkat would say to you if she could talk. I know this is a tough decision...and I don't know what I'd do if I were in your place. My Midnight is only 5 and if she suddenly went from a rambunctious hellion to a lethargic kitteh in a matter of weeks...I'd be feeling the same way you are.

I know you love your furbaby and that, in the end, you'll do what you think is best. My heart is with you. atback atback


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## salsachick (Aug 4, 2009)

I completely empathize. atback My situation with Babette was similar.

It isn't fair that your girl is only 7 and has had this happen to her. 

But in my experience with putting Babette under as hard as it was to do, it was better to know that she went peacefully and quickly with me right by her side telling her what a good kitty she was and how much I loved her, than to have her waste away at home. Or the worst - to come home or wake up to find her "gone."

Cat's handle pain very differently than humans. They can hide it very well and they don't always tell us that it's there.


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## KitkatnDaisy (Oct 21, 2009)

Thank you so much for your reply, I know what I have to do but I just can't do it. I can't make that call to the vet. My body feel numb thinking about it. She's sleeping now but doesn't get up to sleep in a new position any more. She doesn't get up when we do. She won't eat or drink. The only acknowledgment I get is when I pet her and she purrs softly. I can't do this. But I can't stand to see her suffer. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. It's Hard to see her go. Thank you again.


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

My heart goes out to you. I really understand what your facing.

Just know that you are her voice and caretaker. She is depending on your to release her humanely. Its a gift we give to our cats/dogs/horses so they dont have to suffer. If she isnt eating or drinking on her own, its time. 

When you take her to the vet have the vet give her a shot that puts her to sleep. Then give the shot to stop her heart. I think it is much more humane that way. I can tell you love her deeply. Remember she is just passing to her next life. You will see her again. She knows you love her and doing this to help her move to a better place.

There is a book that has brought me comfort. My vet even recogmends it. Its called Animals and the Afterlife by Kim Sheridan Cyber hugs to you and your kitty (((()))))


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## Leazie (Apr 14, 2007)

I just wanted to send you hugs and support. Your love for your kittie shines through your posts, and I am so sorry that she has to go so soon. 

She will always be with you in spirit.


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## KitkatnDaisy (Oct 21, 2009)

thank you all of you for your support. I see that she iss so tiny and so weak. Her breathing is different. I am thrown off because when she curls up she looks normal....like right now. I pet her and she stretches out and looks serene. I hate this so much but I can't stand to see her starve or be dehydrated, so even though she looks normal sleeping on my bed I know she isn't and last night was her final night with us. My husband and I cried together because we're loosing a special part of our little family. We love her so much. Every time I would see her I would be instantly happy. She probably wished at times that I would just leave her alone because I couldn't help but pet her or pick her up to snuggle. Poor baby. She still reacts to her name and is happy when I say it in a certain way. I'm going to miss Kitkat so much. The hardest part hasn't even happened yet. Her appointment is at 6:40pm. It's all down hill from here.


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## Xanti (Nov 4, 2008)

It's an awful thing to have to do. Even though she isn't showing it, your kitty will be in pain and if she could speak, she would probably plead with you to let her go.

atback


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## KitkatnDaisy (Oct 21, 2009)

I'm getting angry at people (friends and family) who say Kitkat is just a cat, we've had her a long time, and seem aloof to my distress. 

I don't understand, if they knew me they would know how I feel. How come total strangers have more understanding then the people who know me. These are people who see every cat as the same, that's sad. They are the type who won't earn love and respect, they demand it. That's what I think.


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

So sorry to hear you dont have the support of family and friends. Do know there are literally millions of people who are animal lovers & get where your coming. 10 years ago I wouldnt have understood either! But my first kitten changed my life!


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## KitkatnDaisy (Oct 21, 2009)

RIP Kitkat. I love you and miss you terribly.


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## catcrazy4ever (Aug 6, 2009)

I am so sorry for your loss. Your story makes me cry (as all stories of loss of cat family members do). Our cats are part of our families. If anyone gives you that "it's just a cat" business, just walk away and avoid them for awhile. They know not the love and joy cats can give. Try to be around people who can comfort and support you. I understand what it's like. We just lost our little girl 12 days ago. I think of her every day, and usually have at least one cry a day. It so hard, I know. My heart goes out to you.


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## dlsfarris (May 23, 2009)

I am reading this late but I know exactly how you feel. I posted the day I had to do let my sweet buddy bagheera go. I had taken him to the vet looking for a miracle even though I knew what was happening and what the vet was going to say. 

You will eventually feel better and begin to remember the good time you shared. There are those moments when you feel overwhelmed again... I'm here because this is one of those moments and I desperately needed to seek out others who could empathize with me.. and whom I could empart an encouraging word. The pain comes and goes. But I assure you that the most wonderful thing you can do is let your baby go rather than suffer even though the pain is soooooooooooooooooooo hard to bare. You did what was best for your kitty even though it was not the best for you. My heart goes out to you but I know in heaven after we have all crossed the bridge together the cat corner in heaven is going to be wonderful! 

Much Love to you!


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

The Humane Society in Tucson has a group that you can join when you are grieving of a deceased pet. Maybe there is something in your area like that so you could feel the support of others who feel the way you do about companion animals. 

Run free with happiness sweet kitty. Your person will see you soon on the other side.


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

You have suffered such a loss. God bless you and give you peace. You had no other choice. Some day, a dear little cat will work its way into your heart and fill it again with joy.


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