# hello & help with angry tonkinese???



## Devotress (Oct 11, 2012)

Hello, I just joined because I am out of ideas as to what to do regarding a situation between two of my tonkinese cats. 
Here's the story, I tried to break it down so it is easily read ~

I have three cats: one male orange tabby (age 12), one female seal-point tonkinese (age 7) and one male brown tonkinese (age 1).

My problem is with the female tonkinese and the male tonk. They are from the same breeder. They are both fixed. They go outside on leashes when it's nice, because I live in the country and there are coyotes, foxes, hawks, snakes and raccoons that live in my yard and I want to be able to watch out for the cats!

I got the male last year and after a couple of weeks the tabby got used to him. However, the female tonk was still acting extremely aggressive towards him. I kept them in seperate rooms.

She would scream and howl every time she saw him, I don't know how to describe it better than it sounds like a crazy banshee howl. They couldn't be in the same room or she would immediatly fluff her entire body out and try to attack him, not in a playful or "sparring" sort of way, but like an extreme cat fight. Sometimes it would end up with either or both of them with cuts and bites on their body, enough to break the skin and bleed. I have seen her "play" fight with the tabby and it is nowhere near as aggressive as this.
When I have the male in my room with the door shut to keep her out, she sits outside screaming and forcing her paw under the door. She hurtles her whole body towards the door and it's very loud, like someone is pounding on the door. 
When the male is in a room by himself and she has the run of the rest of the house, she runs into every room and smells everything trying to find him. Like this is her mission and she's super serious about it.

Just recently she saw me holding the male in my arms and jumped up to try and attack him. She ended up biting my arm instead and it's a crazy bite! Not a nip or a bite that scrapes your skin and bleeds for a little bit. There are four puncture wounds where her fangs bit into me that are very deep and red, and there is discolored bruising all over the area. So I know she isn't messing around.
Another time she smelled some of his fur on my hand and bit my finger so hard that she broke through my nail! I have slammed my fingers in a car door and this actually looked worse!! When it finally stopped bleeding I sterilized it and put it in a splint, so it didn't get infected. It took over a month to heal.

It's been probably a little over a year and she is still acting just as aggressive as the day I got the male tonkinese. Over this year I have tried the following, over & over:

-Feeding them treats close together (on either side of a glass door or on leashes so they can't attack each other). They really like "calming treats"

-Having them in the same room but holding one of them, so they get used to being around each other 

- Washing the male with special cat shampoo. I tried this once but it didn't seem to make a difference.Their breeder suggested this because she thought the female didn't like the male's scent.

-Putting the diffuser in her room that makes cats calm and giving her that special collar with the scent on it too. 

-The vet perscribed the female a very low dose of valium, I tried it, but the breeder said it just makes them hungry/tired. It didn't seem to work.

-Having them outside at the same time on seperate leashes.

-Spending a lot of time with the female. She is the type of cat that only likes a select few people: me, my mom, and my best friend because he is often at my house. But she is always calm when she is with me. She likes to sit in my lap and sleep in my room whenever she can. When she sees anyone else she runs away. 

I don't really know what to do any more??? I have looked up A LOT "cat introduction" FAQ's and tried to do them all. Has this ever happened to anyone else? I'm just afraid she is going to be this aggressive forever, and I'm worried because I'm going to have to move to a smaller house with less rooms for them to be in. I really don't want to have to give her to someone else.
I didn't put their names throughout this because I thought it would be confusing to remember. The female's name is Indie and the male's name is Sindri.
I'll try posting this in the behavior section when I can if no one can help here.
Thank you :blackcat


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## Penguin_Dreams (Sep 28, 2012)

I have no good advice for you, since it sounds like you've done everything that's usually recommended. But I just wanted to welcome you and say hi.


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## Devotress (Oct 11, 2012)

it's okay! thank you for the welcome!!!


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## fizzletto (Oct 13, 2012)

This is a tough situation. My two half-Tonkinese cats don't get on either, even though they are from the same breeder and are actually brother and sister. They don't fight, though, they just tend to avoid each other. Sometimes the male will growl and hiss at the female but they have never attacked one another like yours have. Funnily enough I also have an older male domestic orange tabby and he gets along ok with both of them, too.

I hate to say it but if your vet and breeder have run out of ideas - and by the sounds of it, they have; you've tried every solution under the sun - I think your only option left is to assess the situation from an objective viewpoint and decide whether you can go on living like this.

Is your Tonkinese boy suffering from the presence of the female and her constant attempts to hurt him? Are YOU suffering? If so, I really think you should consider re-homing one of the cats. I would recommend rehoming the male, as he has been with you for the shortest amount of time and is still young enough to be rehomed quite successfully.


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## Luvmyfurbabies (Jun 25, 2012)

Okay, I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you, but the other day when I was at petsmart I saw something called the thunder shirt. It's suppose to solve a whole host of problems. I've been meaning to look this up but haven't because I really don't have a need for one. But you might look it up, it may be worth a shot.


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## Luvmyfurbabies (Jun 25, 2012)

I just looked up reviews on amazon for this shirt and it looks very promising. I would read all the reviews first to get ideas how to best use the shirt, as far putting it on, taking it off, what size and so forth. There were many interesting suggestions regarding this.
Good luck!


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## Devotress (Oct 11, 2012)

oh my gosh!!! thank you so much for looking into that! I will try this ASAP. Thank you!!!!


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## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

Welcome! I'll move this thread to Behavior...will probably get even more responses there.


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## Devotress (Oct 11, 2012)

Thank you Heather! I am so appreciative of everyone's help.


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## Devotress (Oct 11, 2012)

Thank you Fizzletto! It's funny that the situations are similar but I'm glad to hear your cats aren't as violent!! Yes if there's absolutely nothing I can do after exhausting everything I can think of I will probably have to consider separating them if I have to move. They live in a house with my mom but I thought when she moves to a smaller house/apartment in the near future it will be hard to keep them in different rooms. I have to live in a different city while I attend college anyway so I thought, if worse comes to worse, I would just take the female with me in my apartment.


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## Devotress (Oct 11, 2012)

I just wanted to say I ordered the thundershirt for her! I read all the reviews and it seems like it will help. I'm actually excited about this!!


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## Shenanigans (Jul 23, 2011)

What an awful situation.  Just as someone else suggested, I'd seriously consider rehoming the male. If this has been going on for over a year and you've tried ALL of those things.. Chances are it'll be like this for the rest of their lives together, and can you really deal with that? What happens if they wind up SERIOUSLY hurting you or each other? It's just a bad situation and I feel awful for you! Best of luck, let us know how that thundershirt thing works.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Sorry to hear of your situation. I think you've done just about everything to try and remedy this situation, but your Tonk girl just has a hate-on for the Tonk boy and they are _seriously_ fighting after a year, and I don't think that's going to change. It's very stressful on everyone, you and the cats, to have these fights going on, and if I were in that situation I would re-home your Tonk boy since he's only a year old and would have a good chance at finding a good home. 
Otherwise you are going to be continually dealing with wounds, abscesses from fights and bites. Deep puncture wounds into your skin are the worst and if not looked checked out by a doctor can lead to blood poisoning which can be very serious. The only other thing might be to contact an animal behaviorist or psyschic who may be able to determine why it is your girl hates this Tonk so much. I'm not sure whether the "thunder shirt" will work once she gets used to wearing it. I hope you can sort this out for your own and the cats' peace of mind. All the best!


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## Devotress (Oct 11, 2012)

Thanks everyone! I never thought of contacting an animal behaviorist or psychic, that is actually a really good idea!


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## Luvmyfurbabies (Jun 25, 2012)

Devotress said:


> I just wanted to say I ordered the thundershirt for her! I read all the reviews and it seems like it will help. I'm actually excited about this!!


Great! I hope this helps or at the very least; lessens the seriousness of the situation. Let us all know how this shirt works or you. It's probably something you have to keep at, even if it appears it's not working at first. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!
Best of luck!:grin:


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## Devotress (Oct 11, 2012)

Thank you! I will let everyone know how to works after a while, especially if it could help anyone else in my situation.


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