# kitty wants into bedroom



## macgurl (Dec 3, 2004)

help me!! 

this problem is hurting my relationship and sleep! I just moved in with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago. He has had a cat his whole life that was never aloud in the bedroom. So I agreed that, okay, my kitties don't need to sleep with us. That's understandable. So we close the bedroom door. One of them paws at the door and cries for as long as he possibly can and then takes a break and starts again. We have resorted to putting him into the kitty kennel at night (it's big). This normally happens way after I've gone to sleep and then my boyfriend comes to bed and the scratching begins. So I get up and go put him in there and come back to bed. My boyfriend was angry with me or the situation last night because I was nice to the kitty when I did it. My cats have really always been able to go anywhere. I haven't restricted them. He hates this and brings it up all the time. He thinks we should not talk to or acknowledge the kitty, just put him in there and then let him out again a little later and when he starts to scratch put him back in. I haven't done this yet. I just leave him in there. It's the middle of the night! and by then there is some type of, he's angry about the situation and I can't sleep and so I just lay there. 

I need this fixed. What can I do? Besides of course letting him into the bedroom because that's not something to be considered.

He does get a ton of attention. If I were to put him in the bedroom and then go to the other room he'd be in there and scratch like crazy to get out.
oh he's almost 2


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## Ducky (Nov 3, 2004)

I don't have any advice except that maybe it isn't possible? The cat was raised to be allowed into the bedroom and now he can't. Maybe giving him treats and spending a lot of time with him in the kennel so he likes it. Right now he probably thinks of it as punishment.


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## macgurl (Dec 3, 2004)

I was really affriad you were going to say that. He likes the kennel. He gets cozzy and goes to sleep. My boyfriend just doesn't like the fact that by leaving him in there all night it doesn't make him stop scratching at the door and that every night for the rest of the kitties life we'll have to put him in there if we want a peaceful sleep. I don't see the problem with having him sleep in there. He does just sleep and curl up. He has free reign to play all day long and get love. I think my boyfriend is just mad because I've let them do whatever they want and now they can't be controlled. They're my kids.


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## Lynda J (Sep 8, 2004)

If it was a choice between the boyfriend and my cat afraid my cat would win every time. My late husband and I use to laugh that it was a good thing we had a king size bed because if we didn't there wouldn't be room for us to share with the cats. When I moved out of that house I downsized to a full size. It is nice because 5 of my 7 kitties want to sleep with me. (who needs an electric blanket).


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## BoscosMum (Apr 29, 2004)

I am going to go out on a limb here..................

I hate to say this but your boyfriend sounds a wee bit controlling.
Secondly....cats do not learn that way! You cant get angry at a cat and expect it to understand that...
I wish you all the best, I really do...I have to ask, was this a topic that was discussed prior to you moving in with this man or did he decide 
to make these rules after the fact?

Just ask yourself....Is this issue really about the cats or is this really 
all about control? Control in one area will most likely spill over 
into other areas of your life...be careful my dear!


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

suggestion 1) active playtime for the cat before your bedtime; perhaps kitty will be ready for a snooze when you're ready for bed.

suggestion 2) a device called ssscat placed in the doorway. battery powered infra-red sensor sprays canned air at cat. cat avoids the area like the plague. info at www.ssscat.com. sold cheaper elsewhere; do a google.

Tim


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

Put your kitty in the kennel each night and make it a possitive time. They will eventually learn a new behavior thru positive reinforcement not anger. 

You say your kitty is getting alot of attention and love most other times so it shouldnt hurt it to sleep in a kennel. Be sure and put a piece of your clothing in there with your scent for comfort. Plus other important toys or what ever is important to it to snuggle with.. heating pad? igloo bed??


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## catwithnoname (Oct 3, 2004)

Hmm... my kittens don't like it if they can't come into the room, but they both seem fine with sleeping elsewhere. The older one doesn't even like to sleep on the bed.

Their gripe seems to have to do with just being able to walk in if they feel like it. hehe.


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## Misery (Oct 18, 2004)

No offense, but what's the problem with the cat in the bedroom? I don't get it? Not wanting him in there isn't a good enough excuse, there has to be a reason. It's not a 200 pound dog that'll bother you or take up room, it's a cat. Sounds like the poor thing just wants in the room. Kinda mean, but that's just me.

Sorry if I sound harsh, but this sounds strange. I want to hear a reason for it. Tell him misery wants to know why the cat can't some in? LOL. I'm also a 32 year-old guy, so I'm looking at this from a male perpective.


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

well, I'm a guy, too, and there are just places and times I don't want my cats to be there. maybe because I don't want to be distracted, maybe something there that's bad for the cats. you can't just give in to everything the cats want. who's supposed to be the master, anyway?

Tim


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## spacemonkey (Aug 12, 2004)

:lol: :lol: Cats have masters?! Since when? :roll: :lol:


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## BoscosMum (Apr 29, 2004)

:lol: :lol: :lol: *ROFLMAO* :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

OK! OK! I stand corrected!  maybe what I mean to say is that cats are comfortable with boundaries; maybe even feel more secure with boundaries. and us humans are the ones to set them.

Tim


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## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

Is there a cover on your bed that your kitty especially likes to lay on? If so, take it off and put it on a couch somewhere in the house so the cat can lay on that. That's what I did for my cat. It worked wonders! I even just threw his favorite cover out in the hallway and he slept on that and didn't care that I shut him out of my room...he just wanted his cozy cover to lay on.. :lol:


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## violina23 (Jun 28, 2004)

Just to be fair, not everyone is able to sleep through a cat being in the bedroom with you... I, for one, am a REALLY light sleeper, and I had to kick kiera out of my bedroom for the first few months I got her. When she's wandering around hte room, playing with things, making noise, and scurrying all over the bed, it often wakes me up, and then I find it hard to relax when I hear any other noise!

Granted, it has gotten better, I now only kick Kiera out when she's being terribly mischievous and it's the middle of the night and all. I think she understands my sleep schedule right now, but that doesn't stop her, of course, from trying to reinvent it 

I just felt the need to defend some of us light-sleepers out there, who aren't used to having cats poking around us at night


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

THANK YOU!! my cats chasing each other from one end of the house to the other sounds to me like a herd of elephants. I'm happy they're having so much fun when I'm awake, but I can't sleep if they do it after bedtime, so that's why they're confined to their room at night. and guess what, after a week or so, they completely got used to it and now never make noise at night.

Tim


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## Misery (Oct 18, 2004)

You guys are all assuming this cat is a little high strung, lol. We've yet to hear of what this cat does when you try to sleep. If the cat has always been in the bedroom, then it'll be tough to break that habit. You can't however, get mad at it, it doesn't understand that.

By the way, I don't let my cat in my computer room/den when I'm not in here, so I put a safety gate like you put up for kids. My cat doesn't care though and probably wouldn't come in here without me anyhow. My reason for this is because the computer case is open and a few things in here I don't want her on.

I'm just curious what the reason is. Not much you can do but tell it no and put it in a confined area and hope it works in the long run.


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## BoscosMum (Apr 29, 2004)

macgurl....we have not heard from you anymore.
I hope I did not offend you...your thread has quite the discussion goin' on here.....


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## Misery (Oct 18, 2004)

Just busy perhaps.


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## macgurl (Dec 3, 2004)

wow! thank you for all the answers! I've been busy with work and finals ... ahhh life  

one of my kitties, rupert, is the little monster. If he could play with you all night long he would. I understand completely the reason for not wanting to have them in the bedroom. I have always slept with them, however, not very well. Tux - the big monster sits on your head and licks your cheeks and nose and shoves his massive paws in your face all night long. He's a cuddle bunny so I understand it. But Rupert is all play. It is nice to not be woken up at 4am by little claws trying to get under the blanket and play with my hands and toes. I do have alergies too and am even finding that I even feel better. 

They get so much love during the day. From me and my boyfriend. They're spoilt rotten. I love the idea of the cat "repellent" I think I'll have to try that out. Right now they go into the kennel every night before we go to bed with a blanket of mine and toys and water and they just cuddle and sleep with each other. They do seem really happy. but it would be nice to just go to bed and let them wander around the rest of the house. 

I know that it will be hard and may not be possible where they have always been with me. I was living with someone else when I got them and he was somewhat of a jerk so they're mommy's kitties. 

I really appreciate that you're looking out for me  someone has to!! it's not a control issue, he really cares about me and makes me feel happy and loved. I should have clarified more, I very much agree to them not being in the room and it was decided before we got here. It's just been really hard trying to get rupert to stop pawing at the door, and I can't possibly be "angry" at him. he's too cute

ahh and here are a few pictures of my guys! they're pretty special 

rupert is the orange one and tux the big grey guy


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## macgurl (Dec 3, 2004)

I should mention too.. I'm sure this is mostly my problem and not really the kitties but it shows my over attachment to them, which is also probably making this harder than it should be. Tux is a shelter kitty. I got him at 3 months. The people before him believed that they could keep him locked up and bread him to make baby polydactyls that they could sell. They treated him horrible. I didn't want the shelter to tell me it all. When I got him he was "supposed" to die. He was so sick. I picked him up and took him home and we layed together for weeks on end. Just me and him. A lot of money and love later he slowly started to get better. He of course is very attached to me as I am to him. He scares easy and is a big suck. 

rupert was born with one sister to a lesbian household who didn't want to have a boy in their home. They were going to throw him in the snow. I took him at 4 weeks. He tried to feed off tux, for hours they'd just lay there. It was cute but I could tell rupert missed his mom. 

They're my little boys. They're best friends. ahhh I'm getting sentimental.  

feel free to tell me your kitties stories! I'd love to read it.


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## Misery (Oct 18, 2004)

macgurl said:


> rupert was born with one sister to a lesbian household who didn't want to have a boy in their home. They were going to throw him in the snow. I took him at 4 weeks. He tried to feed off tux, for hours they'd just lay there. It was cute but I could tell rupert missed his mom.


This is, uh...interesting.









Anyhow, I suppose all you can do is keep them out and keep doing what you're doing. Eventually, I'd think they will get the idea. If they cry and want in, then they go in the kennel, which sounds okay in this case. I was afraid he wasn't as friendly to the cats or something.

Good Luck
 Chris


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## macgurl (Dec 3, 2004)

ya.. it was quite weird. She worked with me and they didn't want any males in their home. She posted it on the board at work and I was sick the day she decided he wasn't going to be in their house anymore so she put him outside on a little leash tied up at work in the snow and told them he was mine and the should call me to come get it. So I went into work in my pjz in the freezing cold and took him home with me and got in trouble for being able to come get my cat but not working... haha ya .


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## Misery (Oct 18, 2004)

Hehe. Gotta get the cat out of the snow. That is really awful and beyond weird! What is wrong with people? Glad you were able to rescue it from those screwballs.


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## BoscosMum (Apr 29, 2004)

Awe...your pictures are way too cute!!!
I am so glad your boyfriend is a nice guy and not so much like 
it sounded in the original post.  I am glad I did not offend you.
I tend to say it like I see it, from time to time, which can get me into trouble!

Way too hilarious about lesbians not wanting any males in the house.
I worked in the beauty salon for over 10 years and have several gay friends and co-workers....they would even find that bizarre! 
That truly is the dumbest thing I have ever heard!
Just when you think you have heard it all!!! Huh? :?


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## harley's mom (Nov 29, 2004)

I have a sleep disorder and can't handle being woken up several times a night by playing or fighting kitties. So mine cuddle with me while I read and then when it's time for lights out they know to leave the room. Once in awhile Harley will cry and scratch on the door....usually that means that he's feeling a little bit insecure (I haven't spent enough time with him or whatever) so I usually end up letting him in. However...when he does it just because he's in a mood and wants to be naughty he gets squirted with the squirt bottle.

I think you kennel solution is fine if kitty likes it in there. So what if you have to put kitty up every night before bed? You would have to anyway to compromise so you both get some sleep, right? I think that adding a shirt of yours or something is a good idea...it would be comforting to the cat. It sounds to me like you and your bf need to sit down and really communicat with each other about the whole situation....what is he really so upset about? why? how can you come to a fair compromise?


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## BoscosMum (Apr 29, 2004)

You can add one of those hammock hangers in the kennel too.
Depending on what type of kennel you have?

harley's mom....my new kitty looks kind of like yours.


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## reprot (Nov 11, 2004)

I don't have any advice for you, only to say ahhhh, I kinda feel sorry for your bf. My cats are in and out of our bedroom all night. We wouldn't have it any other way. My little Billie is still into roaming around on the bed. She's knocked the pictures off the headboard, etc. and the other night I had an 15 pound Ragdoll miss his mark and land on my chest while I was in a dead sleep. My husband is still laughing about it. :lol:


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