# Lil'Fella......



## RachandNito (Nov 21, 2008)

Please say a prayer for my Lil'Fella.

I got a call from my sister early this morning. Fella was not well, something seemed terribly wrong with him. He was crying, laying on his side, and trying to vomit though nothing would come up. They called me asking my advice and I said to rush him to the vet immediately, it sounded like a blockage or something really bad along those lines. Surprisingly my family, who is usually so hesitant to go rushing our animals to the vet, took Fella in right away. That means it had to be bad.

I am at school right now and my phone died just after I received one last text from my sister. She said he had X-rays and it wasn't looking good. I am sick to my stomach over this, having no way to know what is going on. My boyfriend is picking me up right now from school, I'm going to miss a lab because of this, but I don't think I'm in any state to inject small animals with my hands shaking like they are. I am so upset- I didn't even get to say goodbye to him last time I visited home.


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## RachandNito (Nov 21, 2008)

Fella passed away at 11:30 AM this morning. It was very quiet, he slowly stopped breathing and then he was gone. He had heart disease.

He was only 4 years old.


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

Awww....poor Fella. I'm sorry to hear that.


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## hoofmaiden (Sep 28, 2009)

Wow -- I'm so sorry!!! What kind of heart disease? It's unusual in a cat that young unless there was a congenital problem, and in that case I'd think it would have showed up on vet exams. . . . Did they give you any more info?

I'm so sorry about Lil' Fella. He was a beautiful boy.


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## RachandNito (Nov 21, 2008)

He had a genetic disorder... his heart was a third the size of a normal cat's. They said it was amazing he lived as long as he did. They also said he was probably in pain for a while now... I guess this explains his dislike for being picked up, and maybe his solitary nature. 

I'm so very upset right now, I've even gotten myself sick. The cats, even the two fosters, seem to be picking up my intense pain. Nito came to me right away when I was sick upstairs by the toilet. He was purring, meowing, doing anything he could to get my attention. I held him for a long time and he didn't even complain and squirm like he usually does. Just held still, let me squeeze him and didn't mind the tears wetting his fur. He just purred and purred. Now I'm in bed and he's doing his best to be a complete clown- chasing the foster kittens around, begging to be spanked, making all sorts of crazy sounds... I just can't get up to go play with him, I don't have it in me.

Chica has been laying with me, purring and massaging my neck with her paws. I can't keep any fluid or medicine down, and her purrs are helping my headache go away...

This is so very sudden. I can't believe it happened. I saw him this weekend, acting like his usual sassy bratty self. Now I'll never hear that whiney meow again, or get to pet him, or play with him while that lazy bum rolls on his back swatting at the toy instead of chasing it. I miss him so much. Will this pain ever heal? It doesn't seem possible right now.

This is him... only a month ago. 









He was so young, so full of life and apparent health. I guess the only comfort I can find is that I know he loved his life with us. He was happy, and he had a good life. He got all the freedom he wanted, was able to go outside and hunt mice like he loved, lay in the sun and grass all day, and come back inside to lay on my sister's heated mattress. He got to hang out with the baby rabbits that he always thought were his babies, and he had two very good friends, Elfie and Rusty. Rusty, who was the one who raised Fella when he was a kitten, is very, very upset. He's looking all over for him, he's done several laps around the house meowing very quietly. He's now with my mom, both of them are crying. At least as much as a cat can cry I guess... Elfie is very solemn, he always is, but he isn't in the mood to be touched...


Here is a recent video of him. Look how much he loved us... he was always down for coming over for a pet and a snuggle in the grass. (I just uploaded it so it might still be pending)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92Gz7ga-42Y


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

*Re: Lil'Fella...... [move to rainbow bridge please]*

I'm so sorry.  

atback


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## RachandNito (Nov 21, 2008)

*Re: Lil'Fella...... [move to rainbow bridge please]*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZDIZISy8bU

Here's another video of him. He was always so sensitive about his little belly pudge.


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## melysion (Mar 12, 2007)

*Re: Lil'Fella...... [move to rainbow bridge please]*

Awww, he was such a handsome boy!

So sorry for your loss


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## RachandNito (Nov 21, 2008)

Thanks everyone. I'm still in so much shock. So many feelings are coursing through me right now... denial, anger, sadness... but mostly regret that I didn't spend more time with him this weekend. That I didn't even bother to stop on my way out and pet him or to say goodbye. Now I've lost that chance.


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## my5kitties (Sep 13, 2005)

Oh Rachel...I'm so, so sorry to hear about Fella. Hugs to you and your family and purrs and headbutts to the furkids. 

Rest in peace


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## RachandNito (Nov 21, 2008)

My teacher, who is an esteemed and moderately famous vet here in Wisconsin, spoke with me for a while. She is an excellent teacher, and provided me with some answers.

She believes he had Idiopathic hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, where his heart is big but the muscles are just too small. It's characterized by sudden death in young cats, especially males and seems to be associated commonly with gray or black cats. There was nothing we could have done to predict it unless we'd had X-rays done... but why have X-rays done with apparently nothing is wrong? Even if we had known, there would have been nothing we could have done. Cats with this disorder live an average of 2 years. So I guess he gave it a good run with 4... I feel a tiny bit better knowing it was not mine or my family's fault. Still, the pain of the loss is still there.


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## katlover13 (Apr 15, 2008)

I'm so sorry about your Lil'Fella.  He was a very handsome cat. You are lucky to have such good videos of him. I love the outside one of him running to you. It seems to me that it is so much harder when they go young. It sounds like he had a very happy life with you.


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## catcrazy4ever (Aug 6, 2009)

I am so sorry for your tragic loss. My heart goes out to you. He looked like such a little cutie. Don't ever blame yourself, and don't have any regrets. There was nothing you could do. Please always remember that and the good memories you have of him. He had a short life, but I am sure a very happy one with you. Life just isn't fair that they are taken from us, especially so young. :dis RIP Lil'Fella.


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## RachandNito (Nov 21, 2008)

It makes me smile, everyone calling him such a "little cutie"  Because he was a BIG boy! Hence why we lovingly and teasingly began to call Cody (his given name) "Lil'Fella" hehehe. 18 LB at one time, yes a bit fat but built huge also. He put on pounds but managed to slim up this summer, and he was just looking sooo good last time I saw him. Such a surprise, it's still so unbelievable...

I just keep thinking about him. About how I could sing out. "Lilllll-Felllllaaaaaa" and he would come trotting, with that little doolap of his flopping back and forth, whining "mreeeeeeeeeew" for attention. Then when you'd pick him up, he'd fold his ears in a little pouty face (see picture) and whine and kick trying to be put down. You'd release him and he'd lay down... 5 inches out of reach. In about a minute he'd start rolling around, begging to be pet. 

I'm sorry to be rambling. It makes me smile to think of memories of him... followed quickly by painful tears. part of the healing process I suppose. My heart is broken though, it's hard to think I'll ever be able to put ALL the pieces back together.

His "pouty" or "sassy" face









He was always such a ham in front of the camera


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Love the "talk to the paw" picture. What a character!


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

My heart goes out to you. The same thing happened with my sisters cat Otis. The vet knew within 3 minutes it was a genetic heart defect and there was nothing we could do but humanely euthanize him. It was heart breaking. Every day we cry for him. 

Our kitties are pain free and happy now. They are running free with abandon.


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## RachandNito (Nov 21, 2008)

Don't laugh if you think it's cheesy you guys! I whipped this up in photoshop and had it printed for my little sister. It's in a drop box type frame with his collar in there. My dad thinks it will really mean a lot to my little sisters, who still live at home and were EXTREMELY attached to Fella. (It was my little sister who took those videos). But I just wanted to share this. *shrug*


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Laugh? I have tears running down my face. That's so lovely and thoughtful of you, Rachel.


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## RachandNito (Nov 21, 2008)

It's only been a day, not even 24 hours since he was last alive...  The pain is still fresh, though the shock has dulled. I am not feeling so miserable, though I have been experiencing moments of intermittent tears that escape. It is nice to be here at vet school, where everyone loves animals so much, and everyone seems to fully understand my sadness. I am surrounded by sympathy, and everyone has been making me feel better, commenting on how handsome he was, or sharing stories of their own lost cats. It helps to know I am not alone, and to be assured that this pain can't last forever. There is no one here to upset me by saying "he was just a cat" or "you'll get over it".

Last night he wove in and out of my dreams, I saw him in memories and I dreamt he was sleeping at the foot of my bed like he used to when I lived at home. Perhaps his spirit visited me, It is hard to really know for sure


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## Leazie (Apr 14, 2007)

I'm so sorry about Lil' Fella. The picture you did of him with the poem was so touching. I am sure that it will help your sisters very much.

It does seem so mcuh harder when they are young, but it sounds like he lived a life full of love and happiness, and that means more than just time.

(((HUGS)))


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## RachandNito (Nov 21, 2008)

Thanks everyone. Little Rico (one of my fosters) has been such an angel, cheering me up big time. I told my mom about it, and she asked that I bring him by when I visit tomorrow to see Fella's grave, in hopes that he can cheer up my little sister. Something tells me Rico might be finding a new home soon... Lil'Fella can never be replaced, but I do believe Rico could help heal my sister's heart, just maybe. At least I know he will bring a smile to her face when we visit tomorrow. He's such a perky little goof ball. And his little white mustache of white on his lips... hehe, he's so cute.

It's been a rough day. Coincidentally, we had a lecture about various cardiac problems in cats, and just my luck we would spend about 20 minutes on Fella's specific problem. I am glad the lights were off... there were tears in my eyes the whole time. Then the next class focused on euthanasia... ahhh, how much sadness can one soul take in a day? We watched a video of a dog being put to sleep, with her weeping owner at her side. It was so sad, but I am trying to move past it- I will have to be able to in my future profession. But like my teacher said- it never will be, and never should be easy.


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## RachandNito (Nov 21, 2008)

I went home today. Standing beside his grave is when it hit me... I am never going to see him alive again.  It was a very hard, emotional moment for me. But as I stood there, alone, suddenly I became aware of a presence beside me and there was Elfie, sitting serenely by my feet. Such a sweet old boy, I gave him a good scratch at it helped ease my sad burden. I had dinner with my youngest sister (12) and we talked for a long time about Fella without tears. We were able to laugh a little when we joked about Fella haunting Nito, and how much he would enjoy it (the two of them were frenemies). I was struck by how mature she is (she has already lost two beloved rabbits in the past year). She told me very simply that yes, her heart is broken, but she feels grateful to have known Fella as long as she did. She said she would have rather had this happen than to never have known him at all. 

Oh, and as for Rico... he's staying at my parents house "for just a week to cheer us up." Riiiight. :wink: Lizzy told me she feels a little guilty, that she doesn't want to replace Fella. But she also feels he would want her to be happy too. My mom said she doesn't want another pet, because she hates to see Lizzy so heartbroken. Lizzy replied by saying that yes, she is sad now, but it was a price she was glad to pay for love. How is this kid so insightful? Here I am in shambles, heartbroken, unable to cope at times and this 12 year old little girl is able to be so mature and optimistic about it. When I left, Rico was cuddled up on Lizzy's chest, purring his tiny little heart out.

After talking with Liz, sharing memories of Fella, and finding the support in my family that I really needed, I feel a sense of closure. I miss him greatly, but he is free now. And when I was walking up my parent's drive way, I could have _sworn_ I heard the little "Mreeew!" he used to give before he'd emerge from the bushes and beg for attention.


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