# Struggling to accept death of cat.



## Mika (Apr 4, 2010)

Hello all.
Im no usualy one to open up like this especialy on forums of any type, but im finding it hard to accept the death of 1 of my cats.
Im male aged 28, and with my wife owned 4 cats and 2 dogs untill late friday night. Our 1st cat named 'Arawyn' was our very 1st cat, and when she was around 1 year old she was hit by a car which shattered her pelvic bone, she ran off to a neighbours back garden and laid there and cried. Our neighbour came out to find her and rang the rspca as she didnt know who she belonged to, they came and picked her up and we was notified the next morning. We rushed to our local RSPCA center to find her in a pretty bad way, unsure weather she would pull through. After 2 operations she did, and after some time recovered fully. Then, around 3 months later we find out she is pregnant, but the vets says she may have trouble with having broke her pelvic bone, and she did struggle and so had to have a C-Section. That day we was blessed with 3 beautiful kittens, 2 boys and 1 girl, the girl is the 1 with the ginger stripe.


This was just under a year ago.
Since then, they all grew up, the boys big and strong (Gimli and Strikes) and Mika (the girl/female) was a cute little gorgeous cat with a cry that breaks your heart when heard. All the cats roamed our's and the neighbours yards freely and with other cats too, but our house is on a semi busy road which of course is not ideal, but they never seemed to cross it, only at night when it's quiet and in the company of other cats.
We are close to all our cats, they even sleep with us on our bed, Mika always slept with us almost eveynight, until friday night.
Around 9pm as always they go out (if not already) and sometimes rarley stay out until around 6am and then my wife lets them in when she wakes, well friday night i let them all out, they go and play as always and at around 1am right before im heading to bed i go out and see if they wanted to come in, i call as always but none came, i figured they all would be playing somewhere with other cats, so i go up to bed.
At around 4am i am woken by the sound of a cat Meowing, i get up and look out my window to find 1 of the neighbours cats sat right infront of my house door, meowing, i figured he was looking for company of 1 of ours cats and i go downstairs and call my cats, 1 came home Arawyn (the mother) and i went back to bed. My wife wakes at 6am and goes downstairs, calls the cats and none reply's, calling again right before she goes to work but again none reply so she sets of for work.
At 8 AM i am awoken to the sound of our Son calling me, he enters our bedroom with Mika in his arms, wrapped in an old blanket, she was dead, i immediately knew she was hit by a car with how she looked (i wont go into detail) I rang my wife and tell her and she returns home. I held her on my lap and stroked her head while tears poured off my face onto her fur, i could'nt and can't belive it, our little gorgeous baby had gone. Our son had looked out his bedroom window and saw her lying in a neighbours yard with our 2 other boys sat next to her, he rushed out and picked her up and brought her home and what is hurting the most is i know she suffered in pain, and died 100 yards from me while i slept thinking she was ok. Im starting to think a lot of things, why didnt she run home, why didnt the person who ran her over knock on a few doors and ask people if they owned a cat, could we have saved her? I'm angry yet so upset that even typing this post out is very hard for me as im failing to fight back the tears as im missing her dearly and struggling to find any motivation to do anything. Her death was sudden which i think is why this pain is not going to go so easily. I went to bed last night and half expected to see her lying there as usual and cried when she was'nt.
We decided to bury her in our back garden with some flowers above her to remember her. Her'e a picturn of her when she was around 6 months old. She died at 11 months old.

I guess m posting this to ask for some advice, advice on how to cope i guess or any information of passed experiences you feel may help.
I'm sorry my 1st post on this forum is a sad 1, i guess i need to talk to someone. I've been thinking that i cannot cope to lose another cat, and that they may be better off living somewhere where the road is not as busy as mine, but then i think i could not be without them and throw the idea to the back of my mind as i could'nt lose all 4 but im so scared that this may happen again. I even contemplated keeping them in the house and not letting them out at all, but that is unfair to them and i could'nt bring myself not to when they cry to go play with their friends and roam as cat's do. She was so beautiful.

''Our dearest Mika is dreaming her final dream'' but she was taken from us way too early. I can only pray she is happy on the other side.
Any advice would be gratefully appreciated.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your loss. atback 

I lost my first cat, Cinderella, last month (cancer). Even keeping cats indoors doesn't protect them from everything. I had about three weeks' notice, I can't imagine losing her suddenly, without time to say goodbye.

Mika was a beautiful little cat.


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## Leazie (Apr 14, 2007)

I am so sorry that you lost your Mika. She was beautiful, and it sounds like she had a wonderful life with you and your family.

I think that any sudden death is hard to take. You have no time to prepare, and so many opportunities to second guess yourself. I hope as the shock wears off a little that you are able to forgive yourself, and allow yourself to grieve.

Run free over the Bridge sweet little one.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Welcome to CatForum and I am so sorry it is under such heart-wrenching circumstances. atback
It is hardest to lose them so suddenly and with no warning. The fact that your loss was a senseless one as well, with a driver who did not try to locate the cat's home, will make this much harder for you and your family to deal with. 
I am so sorry for your loss,
heidi =^..^=



_My husband and I lost the first cat of our marriage to the road in 1995 and it was awful to find him there. At that time, we decided all cats would remain indoor kitties so we wouldn't have to go through that heart-break. It was easy for us, because the remaining three cats we had were young kittens we had recently rescued/adopted ... so they never really knew the outdoors. Since then, we have taken in several adult cats who were feral whom I tamed outside and transitioned them to becoming indoor cats. I would still like for them to enjoy the outdoors, but we live close to a 55mph (88kph) road and we have wildlife in the form of possums, raccoons and foxes._ 

_We plan on building something like an outdoor aviary for the cats along the back of our house. 16'x40' and 8' tall, framed and with sturdy wire, sort of like a zoo exhibit with grass, shrubs, shelves/platforms, small water-feature/pond and a large tree-limb to scratch and climb on. You may like to consider something like this for your kitties, but it would limit their social-life by not allowing them to roam with their other cat-buddies._
We will consider various aspects from these images for ideas when we build:


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

Mika, my heart is with you! I know it's a terrible shock, and I have felt your pain. The tears will come, but that's natural. You've lost a sweet little friend. May God bless you and ease your pain. I'm so very sorry. Someday, I believe, you'll see her again.


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## sushieblue (Mar 14, 2010)

I'm so sorry, Mika. My heart it's with you.

When I was still at school I had a cat called Poly that had 3 kittens, they were all inside a box in the garden. Poly disappeared the whole day and I kept wondering were she'd gone to, I was very late at night and still no sign of her. At around 3 or 4am I heard the kittens crying, I though it was probably Poly that had finally returned to feed the kittens but something inside me kept telling me to go check on them. It was a big house and I was too young and scared to go downstairs and out in the garden so I convinced myself that it was probably Poly and went back to sleep. In the morning I got up, got ready for school and went out to check on the kittens...I found them death, only pieces of them were left in the box. My mom said that male cats can do that sometimes but I will never know what really happened. I'm nearly 30 now and I still blame myself, I should have checked on them.

But...let's try not to blame ourselves, I know it's hard not to but we shouldn't because it will drive us mad. Perhaps I can suggest lighting a candle? My cat Sushie was put to sleep 3 weeks ago (she had cancer). We have been lighting it as often as we can (when were are at home and in the living room) and it really helps me a lot. I just want her to know that I miss her and still think of her every single second of my life, it feels special to me.

A big hug.


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