# How to Re-introduce a Bully and a Shy cat?



## vapid (Aug 2, 2010)

I have a thread on the behavior forum, but thought this was more appropriate here.

I'm a first time owner of two cats. I got them at the same time from a no-kill shelter, but they aren't from the same litter. One is approximately 10 months, the other 8 months.

Since they were in a free roaming enviroment at the shelter I figured we could let them out in different sections of the apartment given their prior living arrangements. It's a two story, two bedroom with a full basement, so there's space.

But the problem is the older cat has become quite the dominant kitty. I would say she's territorial, particularly over me. They both follow me around, but the bully kind of attacks our other cat. It doesn't sound as bad as some of the other situations here as far as intensity. The submissive cat is a bit skittish and runs every time until she hisses, which usually ends it. Only a handful of times in the 5 or so weeks I've had them have I heard anything remotely painful sounding. 

So I've tried getting them to play together, which our smaller cat is a bit too nervous to do around the other cat, but started to get better. Four days ago after having two Da Birds going at once thinking I made good progress, our oldest attacked the other as I was putting the toys away. I'm not sure if she was just overstimulated or what, but the cry Betty gave out let me know it hurt. 

So I decided to re-introduce the two. The bully has been in the spare room for four days now. I thought this would be best so our shy girl could get some confidence, and I have to say it's worked. She's acting like a kitten again, running around, rubbing around my legs and so much more energy (instead of sitting around watching everything). I've let them both mingle a couple times in the 'safe room' but I've mostly just switched the towels they've laid around on (they love towels for some reason... go figure) or their toys.

Am I doing this right? I couldn't find much information about this kind of particular situation, almost all for bringing in a new cat. So how should I go from here with two cats that have known each other's scents for 5 weeks? They can sit in the same room together most of the time, but Betty (the submissive) is definitely a completely different cat when the other isn't around.

I should say that our oldest cat is quite needed and vocal, so she's been screaming bloody murder from the safe room since I put her in there. Even clawing at the door. Should I switch them out at certain points or continue to let our shy girl build more confidence?

I should note that I've been using Feliway since I got them, and the Spirit Essence 3-pack for the last two weeks. Betty, the youngest, is also being treated for a spot of ringworm on her back leg. For what that's worth...


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## dweamgoil (Feb 3, 2010)

*I didn't have to reintroduce my kitties...*

but, I do have one that is way more dominant than the other. She is the smaller of the two physically, but the oldest chronologically. My Resident Cat, at first, would not accept being dethroned and they had a hard time accepting each other's place in the feline scheme of things. It's been 2 months now, and they are finally at peace although every now and again scuffles do ensue.

I guess my point is you can't ever get them to be nice or considerate of each other if they don't want to. They are learning each other's boundaries and should be left to do so. They will most likely work it out themselves if there is no real violence taking place between them. I know as a cat caretaker, it's hard to watch one cat being pushed around, but they have to learn to live with each other. Most of the time the submissive cat will draw the line somewhere and the more dominant cat will respect that and they will make an arrangement between the two if given time. Believe it or not, 5 weeks is not very long at all.

I hope the reintroduction yields positive results, but you may find that once you reunite them, things will be exactly the same as when you started off, and at that point, you will just need to let them work it out.


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## vapid (Aug 2, 2010)

So are you suggesting I take a much more hands-off approach? I'll be the first to admit that I'm acting like first time parent who wraps their baby in eighteen layers of protection.

I'm just worried that Betty, the submissive one, will never fully recover from her lack of contact with me. She really has been a different cat these past three days


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

Don't know why you changed your thread from *Behaviour* to this one, but it's confusing to know which one to anwer on? Anyhooo....I've had some additional thoughts.

It's always difficult when you have two cats and especially when one bullys a more submissive and passive one. But from what I understand both your cats haven't really had what I would call a ding dong fight, where there's terrific screaming, yowling and fur flying resulting in scratches and bites. If it's the occasional hissing on Betty's part to make Resident Cat (Stinkey?) back off, then I would let them work it out. Sometimes, if you're always interfering to rescue Betty, she doesn't learn to stand up for herself, and you make her look weak in Stinkey's eyes. But Betty does hiss when she's feels Stinkey's overstepped her bounds, and then does back off. So if that's what's happening, perhaps you should _gradually _slack off your interference and let them sort it out, _but_ if it becomes a ding dong fight, then it's back to separation. 

Another possibility is trading in one of them back to the rescue place you got them from. In the beginning, ideally it would have been better to adopt two cats that were _already friends_ and enjoyed each other's company in the free area, but the rescue people would have to be _very observant to see and know_ which cats really jell together (sitting together, giving each other head butts, mutual grooming, etc.). Maybe one of them, say it was Stinkey, did have a special friend and is expressing anger at Betty replacing his cat friend---just a wild guess here. Who knows? But sometimes, two cats just don't get along at all, some tolerate each other but don't _really_ jell and some are cuddle buddies and obviously love and are devoted to each other. 
Hope this has been of some help.


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## vapid (Aug 2, 2010)

catloverami said:


> Don't know why you changed your thread from *Behaviour* to this one, but it's confusing to know which one to anwer on? Anyhooo....I've had some additional thoughts.


Well I thought maybe this one would be better off here, and the other one hasn't exactly gotten a lot of attention. I feel like I'm in a major crisis during a formative time, and a thread about a cat peeing in a sink gets 3 pages in about a day :?: Weird.

I'm hearing so much conflicting stuff. So since they haven't had a drag out fight that I know of other than Betty screaming I should just let them work it out?


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

I would do it in a gradual way. Just interfere less over the next week or so and see how it goes.


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## NRD (Mar 31, 2010)

vapid said:


> I'm hearing so much conflicting stuff. So since they haven't had a drag out fight that I know of other than Betty screaming I should just let them work it out?


I've just responded to your Behavior post, you might look there--and yes, I think this belongs there, too.

FYI, I got my first two cats within 10 days of each other, so the problem was similar to yours.

And NO, it is not a good idea to just let them work things out. You are doing a lot right, IMO, but you need to keep the sessions with them together a little shorter, ending them BEFORE a fight or negative event occurs. Usually, you can sense this--the dominant one starts staring, or crouching, or twitching, or something. Cut the sessions short at first, so they end on a positive note, with treats--TONS of treats when they are near each other, so eventually they associate the treats and treat bag with each other.


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## vapid (Aug 2, 2010)

Thanks for the help! I'll continue in the other thread then


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