# Howling at night in new home



## grrawritsjordi (Dec 29, 2012)

I was going to post something early this morning, but after her 4 hour howl session, I was too tired and figured it was a one time thing. However, tonight it is more of the same, just not as bad.

We moved in with my boyfriend Sunday evening and Moosey seemed to be doing well. There is another cat in the house (roommate's cat, neutered male about a year old), so Moosey's food and water, litter box, toys etc are in the tiny bedroom with us. 

Last night I kept the two kitties away from each other while Moose was settling in. They sniffed and hissed through the door, but Sherlock eventually went his own way. About 2am, she starts howling. Like someone was murdering her, howling. My boyfriend was very nice at first, but got increasingly frustrated because he is a chemist and he cannot be tired at work or bad things could happen. He ended up moving to the couch, which makes me sad because the whole reason we moved in together was so we could sleep in the same bed. We have been living an hour away from each other for 9 months only seeing each other on the weekends and holidays and a few Wednesdays.

So she howled from 2a.m. to 6am and I had to sit in the room and deal with it. Luckily I haven't started my job yet. I even tried to let her out of the room while I slept on the couch thinking Sherlock would be asleep, he woke up and they started fighting, so I had to put her back in the room with me. 

Fast forward to tonight and she is doing the same thing, just not as loud. More like a meow than a howl, but she still howls every once in a while. This started about 3:30am, so it's been going on for over an hour and my boyfriend has already left us for the couch. 

I have no idea what to do. There are 3 Windows in the room and my boyfriend likes to open them during the day, so when we go to close them at night, Moosey scratches at the blinds and I am afraid she will break them, so I open them up a bit. She mainly howls at the window, so I need to figure out a way to get her to stop doing that, but also sh will just walk around the room howling. I acknowledge her so she knows where I am, but that only lasts a second.

I have no idea what to do and I am afraid that this is going to ruin my relationship because my boyfriend can't sleep in his own bed.


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## grrawritsjordi (Dec 29, 2012)

Seriously, I am bawling my eyes out I am so exhausted and I feel like I have made a terrible mistake moving in with my boyfriend. If anyone has any suggestions, I would appreciate it.


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

Is she spayed?? THAT is probably the reason why she is howling. If she was recently spayed it may take a while to the hormones to settle down or if she is already spayed then try feeding her late in the evening. A full belly and late night play session makes them sleep better. I hope this helps.


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## Speechie (Dec 2, 2013)

Oh honey, so sorry things are rough right now. Can you get a Feliway plug in to help decrease Mooseys stress? I do think this is just an adjust ment period, and it will get better with time. Can you try a play session before bedtime too? 
Massive hugs, you sound stressed


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## grrawritsjordi (Dec 29, 2012)

Marcia: she is spayed and has been for over two years now. Since this is a new place, she hasn't been eating, so I have been leaving food out for her. Once she starts eating again I will put her back on her feeding schedule. I'm also going to get her a laser light. She loves those things and that should wear her out. 

Speechie: I was thinking that exact thing. I will be running by petco as soon as it is open to get her a diffuser and a laser pointer toy. After I calmed down and stopped crying, I figured that would be the way to go. 

Luckily I have the most amazing and understanding boyfriend on the planet. He has gotten a little frustrated, but never mad or upset, until he woke up to me crying. Then he was mad that I didn't wake him up to talk about me being upset. And the reason I was upset was being Moosey was keeping him awake. 

I will try the feliway. I know it does wonders and I have always wanted to try it for
Other issues, but never wanted to spend the money. Now it seems I have to for mine and my boyfriend's sanity.


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

You could try some anti-anxiety drops or try Calms Forte (avail at GNC). I had a stressed out cat once and she ate the Calms Forte out of my hand (just one a day worked). You can also talk to your vet and have her prescribe some anti anxiety meds for short term. Cats are very similar to humans emotionally and can get VERY stressed. After reading "The cat who cried for help" by Dr. Michael Dodson I have become a believer in anti-anxiety meds. Here's a helpful website to explain more:

Anti-anxiety Medication for Cats

Since you are up early and have some extra time, it's good reading. Good luck sweetie, I know this is painful but hope is in sight!!


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## cat face (Apr 4, 2013)

Try to use the psych meds as a very VERY last resort. The medicines they prescribe are the same ones that humans use. Anyone will tell you that has had experience with psych meds (anti- anxiety) you are compromising one set of side effects (the current anxiety) for another (the side effects from the medications)

They have their place, and have been helpful but if we're going to get upset at some OTC medications or low grade medications like Metecam because of what it may or may not due to the liver, then I think we need to be at least as serious about what the side effects are to the medications for anti-anxiety and some of them are VERY taxing on the liver and/or kidneys, etc,.

This is my opinion of course, you are free to do as you like, I just try to issue warning so we don't go charging headlong into some serious medications for something that can be handled easily by a defuser or a little play.


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## howsefrau32 (Mar 6, 2013)

Hopefully your boyfriend can learn to just be patient while she adjusts to her new home. She is stressed out, because she is in a new place and the move. She needs calm and understanding right now. If your boyfriend is being aggravated with her, that is not helping things. I know how important sleep is, and how big of a problem this can be, but I really feel that she will come around eventually, she is just in a new place, it's all new, her world is upside down right now. And him being angry at her will make her even more stressed. When we had a cat that cried all night, one thing we did was get a cheap, $10 box fan, they sell them at Walmart, and put it on high. It is very loud. You can aim it away from you if it's too cold, but you want it near your head, to block out the noise. It really, really helps. I think in a way it helps the cat too, because it blocks out sounds from the other room. I would give that a try. I know my daughter sleeps with one in her room, and her cat sleeps with her. If we forget to turn the fan on at night, he hears us out in the rest of the house and he mews at the door to get out, but if the fans on, he knows it's bedtime. It's worth a try. I would also try the calming treats. I know Petco and Petsmart sell them. They may not be the exact things Marcia was talking about, but they are all natural and I think they could help. The ones I bought at Pet supermarket were only about $8, and they are made from all natural ingredients and in the form of a treat. She needs to eat, so if there is any good canned food that you think may get her interest, or whatever kind of food that she particularly likes, she must eat, or she can get very sick in a matter of a few days. 

I know you are stressed out. But just be patient with her, and hopefully your boyfriend will do the same.


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## grrawritsjordi (Dec 29, 2012)

So I went to get the calming treats and couldn't get her to take them so I gave up. Boyfriend comes home and I leave for training at the new job and he texts me and says "Got her to eat the treats". "How?" I asked "idk, she sniffed it for a while and then she ate it." Not really sure if they worked or not because it was about two hours before I got home. My amazing boyfriend also ordered the Feliway from amazon because he has Prime. I seriously don't know what I would do without him. 

But I do have a question. I do not have a box fan, but a stand up fan, so I have set that up by the door. We are also going to sleep with a lamp on. Does anyone think these are good ideas? We also have a fan beside the bed and an air purifier(both make a significant amount of noise.) Boyfriend is allergic to cats and had asthma, but he has medicine for both and hasn't seemed to have an issue with her for the past 9 months we have been together. 

Does anyone think the lamp is a good idea? She only seemed to be stressed out when the light was out. Once the sun was up or the overhead light was turned on she went under the bed and napped.


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## grrawritsjordi (Dec 29, 2012)

Also, we are currently taking turns playing with her and the cat dancer.


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## Speechie (Dec 2, 2013)

Good luck tonight!! I am hoping your sweet kitty will feel more and more at home in the next few days


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## cat face (Apr 4, 2013)

Well, the lamp is certainly worth a try! I mean the worst that can happen is it doesn't work but if it does then it was worth the effort of trying.

Hopefully the combination of the treats, Feliway, cat dancer play and fan noise will wipe out any howling sessions Moosey might decide to sing.

Good luck with your adorable kitty, Moosey. Keep us posted how you get on with it all.


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

I hope the Feliway works, too. I didn't have much success with them and calming down Coco so she wouldn't go after Lacey. Remember one only covers about 400 - 600sf of space


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## grrawritsjordi (Dec 29, 2012)

Last night was more of the same. She fell asleep on my legs and my legs started going numb so I moved them a bit around 2am and she got up and started howling. The light was on, the fans were going and we have her the calming treats. The feliway doesn't arrive until tomorrow. I am pretty sure Sherlock is outside the door meowing or there is another cat outside the window. I have no idea what to do. My boyfriend stayed up with me all night, even though I know he was exhausted.

Does anyone have any more suggestions? I can't lock up Sherlock, I don't see his owner being very receptive to putting him up.


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## Heather72754 (Nov 1, 2013)

Maybe she is upset because she can hear/smell Sherlock but can't see him? Maybe stacked baby gates where she can see out and he can see in but they can't fight would work better? Just throwing ideas out there really, I have never run into a cat howling all night. It does seem like an extreme reaction, especially since she is in the room with you - I could see it if she was locked away by herself.


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## bluemilk (Oct 3, 2005)

It sounds like she misses something about her old home...


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## TabbCatt (Mar 26, 2014)

Hmm...I don't know about howling cats either, but if maybe that rescue remedy stuff might help? One of my cats meows outside (as if in protest) for a few minutes each night I go to bed and my door is always ajar, so he's never locked out. I don't know why he does this, but after a few minutes, he always comes in and sleeps at the foot of my bed and joins his buddy who is already there. The rescue remedy had really null effect on my cat though, so I don't know if he's anxious about anything. It's also used in people in times of stress. They just make the same for pets, minus the alcohol.


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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

Moosey is in a whole new environment, none of which smells really familiar to her, other than for you!
Have you done any switching out between Sherlock and Moosey of the rooms?
The sooner she can start laying down some scent of her own, the better, this will help her feel more at home.
Even the outside scents are going to be different...different critters, etc.
I'm afraid, that mostly, it's just going to take some time and patience for her to feel comfortable. 
Extra play is good as well as trying to stick to the same schedule you had for her, for mealtimes.

If you want to see if there are outside visitors, you could sprinkle either some cornmeal or flour under the window...and look for tracks in it the next morning!!


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## bluemilk (Oct 3, 2005)

Hmm... Did she have a cat friend where she lived before? I mean a visitor who came by regularly?


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## grrawritsjordi (Dec 29, 2012)

bluemilk said:


> Hmm... Did she have a cat friend where she lived before? I mean a visitor who came by regularly?


My sister had a male cat that was let outside and ended up wanting to stay there and she took a liking to him. 

I know this is a new environment and I know it will take time, but she is seriously driving me crazy. She ate a full meal before bed, we played a bit then she went under the bed and went to sleep about 10:30. Around 3am she woke up and started crying again, so I opened the door and let her out to walk around the house. Cue Sherlock. He doesn't want to fight, he just wants to play, but she is still very hostile and growls and smacks at him. He thinks this is a game and continues to try and play with her.

It is now 5am, and we have been awake for two hours with her. She has fought with Sherlock, so we closed the door and she started howling. I would love to switch them places, but Sherlock does the same thing when he is shut up in a room, except he does more damage. (Doors, carpet ect)

Really at my wit's end here. The feliway should arrive tomorrow and I am really banking on that helping.


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## Heather72754 (Nov 1, 2013)

grrawritsjordi said:


> Cue Sherlock. He doesn't want to fight, he just wants to play, but she is still very hostile and growls and smacks at him.


That's why I suggested stacked baby gates, to give Moosey a chance to get used to seeing him up close and personal but they can't fight. I know this situation is driving you crazy, and it's hard for your boyfriend losing sleep, but some day you will both laugh about this if you hang in there. Going through these types of things ultimately cement a bond between two people when both are committed to the relationship.


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## howsefrau32 (Mar 6, 2013)

I'm not sure if I suggested this or not, or if it is possible, not sure how big your apartment is. But I have a situation where I have one cat that does not play nice with my other cats, so she has the run of the house all night, and the others sleep in a closed bedroom. It took a fairly short amount of time, I'd say a week, to get them used to the arrangement, but they know that 9:30 is bedtime, they get put up in my daughter's bedroom (the boys are her babies and she loves sleeping with them in her room), and they also get a good sized meal at that time. I call out to them at bedtime "who is ready for their beddy-bye snack (sorry, I'm a dork  ) and they come running for their room. For my one cat, who is the biggest nuicsance, he gets his biggest meal of the day at that time. Because it makes him full and he sleep s like a log! So they get their meal, I will have already played with them both, "da bird" is their favorite toy, they LOVE it, and they get pretty worn out. So they have had playtime, beddy-bye snack, and lights off, and Stephano (the nuiscance) cries for about 5 minutes, and then he knows, it's bedtime. He sleeps all night. Sometimes he will start to cry about 15 minutes before it's time for my daughter to wake up, but she tells him to knock it off, and he usually does. What I'm trying to say is, is there any way you can get Moosey used to sleeping in a bathroom, or even a laundry room, if you do not have another bedroom? With your boyfriend having asthma, it's probably a good idea. I know that you love him sleeping on your bed, but it was just a thought. If he continues to be a bother at night. I believe his allergies and asthma will get better, we have had this in our family, my daughter who now sleeps with 2 cats in her room had both of those and she has built up a tolerance to the cats, they don't bother her at all anymore. I believe it does freak your system out at first, if you are allergic, but you do get used to it, at least that has been the case with almost EVERYONE that I know that is allergic to cats. Your body does get used to being around them. Even my MIL, who is highly allergic to them, she managed to get used to being around my oldest daughter's cat when she stayed with her for a year. BTW, my daughter's cat looks so much like your Moosey, I will have to send you a pic  

Hang in there. Moosey is still getting used to his new digs. He will get better. The bedtime snack and playtime is excellent to do before bedtime, it really is. Stephano is the single most high strung, high maintenance cat I have EVER owned, and both of those things help keep my family from killing him  

I hope to hear things get better, and I really believe they will. I also believe that your boyfriend is a HUGE help, with him doing things to help you, like getting the feliway, and in general jsut being accepting of him, and calm around him, will be HUGE in Moosey's stress level coming down.

So give him time, and maybe him sleeping in the same room will eventually work out. If not, you may need to think about having him sleep in a separate room. I do not believe that is a cruel thing. I think it is a good thing, you CAN teach cats, who yes, it is natural for them to play at night, they are nocturnal, but they can learn that nighttime is for sleeping. I am fostering a girl kitty who sleeps in my den at night alone, and she has also learned that nighttime is for sleeping. 

Hope to hear good things happening soon, just remember for YOU to not get stressed out around Moosey either, because you can not believe how much you being calm will help him come around easier. I used to be the most high strung, intense person ever when I was younger, and now I'm 44, and just in the past 6-7 years, I've learned to let things go that used to get me fired up. I saw huge changes in my pets when I learned to do that too. They look to you for everything, just like children do. They feed off of your emotions and moods so much. 

My daughter's cat Boots:


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## AutumnRose74 (Oct 10, 2013)

^^^Boots looks like he's full of mischief and doesn't care who knows about it!


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## gizmothecat (Jun 26, 2013)

bluemilk said:


> It sounds like she misses something about her old home...


YES!!!!!! THIS!!!!! exactly what i thought!!! almost like shes missing a friend, or looking for something fammiliar.


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## BrittyBear (Feb 4, 2014)

I'm not much help here... but... did she have a favorite spot or something she liked to sleep on at the old house? Ashes used to cry when he moved in. When my cousin's grandmaw came to visit us she brought a blanket down from up there to give my cousin. And Ashes got a little better having the blanket here with his old homes scent... i dont know if it would help. But i do agree with the others. It does sound like he misses something

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## grrawritsjordi (Dec 29, 2012)

I do know that she misses something from there, but I brought everything of hers with me. Same litter, litter box, good ect. I even brought her favorite heated blanket that she slept on during the day. She has windows she can look out just like at home. The only thing that I didn't bring with me was the dog, but she hated him, so I can't imagine that would be it. 

Last night was a little better with the feliway. She didn't start howling until 4am and my boyfriend ended up taking care of her at that point because I was so exhausted and I also took a sleeping pill. My boyfriend just keeps on telling me to give her time, but it's so frustrating when I know she is okay and will be okay and all she does is cry.


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## BrittyBear (Feb 4, 2014)

I know how frustrating it is. Ashes cried for hours on end with no stopping every morning. From 5am-10am ish most of the time. It was so frustrating and i was exhausted since i dont normally go to sleep till 3-3:30am. It took some time but he has gotten better. And so will she, she is probably just scared and confused. I hope she gets better quickly  and that the feliway proves more helpful. Good luck and keep us updated

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## grrawritsjordi (Dec 29, 2012)

Last night was much better. She even came out in the living room while we were sitting on the couch talking with the roommates and she walked up to Nancy and let her pet her a little. Then last night, I fed her a big meal, we played with the cat dancer and the laser toy and went to bed. She didn't wake up until about 6am. I am so pleased with her progress. My boyfriend and I have decided we are going to make a schedule for her so she knows exactly what happens at night and hopefully that will help her sleep past 6am. 

I really think the feliway is a big factor in this, but also her getting more used to the house and the room. Thanks everyone for your suggestions!!


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## BrittyBear (Feb 4, 2014)

I'm so happy for you! She is making good progress! I hope the schedule helps her find that routine she needs, then maybe everyone can get the sleep they need ^_^ good luck, i'm rooting for you  for her too!

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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

How goes the nighttime singing?!


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## grrawritsjordi (Dec 29, 2012)

10cats2dogs said:


> How goes the nighttime singing?!


It is all better now! Thank you for asking!! She is sleeping through the night or at least not waking us up when she gets up. She has even been coming out of the room and walking around other parts of the house. Within the past two days I have noticed much less growling from her towards Sherlock.

Everything is so much better! I'm not sure if it is the feliway, the calming treats or just the fact that she is getting used to everyone and everything here. I'm also making sure to stick to a schedule, although we didn't play with her tonight, so I am hoping that won't be a problem. Also, for the first time since we moved, she snuggled up with me this morning and purred like a purr monster.

It feels so great to have my amazing Moose back!


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## grrawritsjordi (Dec 29, 2012)

Also, here is a picture of the two of them a few days ago.


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## Speechie (Dec 2, 2013)

Hooray! Brilliant update!


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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

Great to Hear! I'm sure Moosey was just feeling discombobulated!!


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## BrittyBear (Feb 4, 2014)

Thats great news!!! Congrats to you and Moose!!! I'm so happy for you and glad that it all worked out well ^_^ 

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