# Does Anyone Else Feel This Way?



## Zhondriela (May 7, 2010)

For some reason I'm considered a huge eccentric by my family for how much I love my cat. 

I mean, I really, truly love her. She is bar none THE most important thing in my life. I spend so much of my time with her, she is my best friend and we have the closest relationship that I've ever experienced, with both human and nonhuman. 

I would do anything to protect her. I would seriously die for her without thought of putting myself first. When someone attempted to break into my house while I was alone the first thing I did was grab my cat and a knife... I cared nothing about what was going to happen to me, all I could think of was that I would die protecting my child and fight to the death for her. Luckily the police put an end to the situation before there was any confrontation, lol!  But I'm telling you I will let NOTHING pose a threat to her safety.

She's going to be turning 9 this year. I'm getting scared, I have a real phobia of her aging. She's very healthy and fit now but I'm so paranoid that something will happen to her... I just pray to god everyday that he gives me as much time as he can with her because she is my whole world and I *never* want to be without her. 

I never want any human children and I find myself completely satisfied with nurturing a furbaby. I could not ask for a better companion. She may not share my DNA, but she is still my daughter in every other way and I love her as much as any parent can love their child. 

I think maternal love between an animal and a human is such a wonderful thing... I wish more people were open to the idea that love for animals can be just as powerful and meaningful as any human relationship.

Am I really as crazy as my family makes me out to be or am I not alone? 

Share your thoughts!

Thank you! :kittyturn

Tiffany


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

Oh my, I was just going to post a similar thing! Although Miu is my first cat and I've previously been a dog person, I'm getting very attached to her now. She follows me around most of the time and keeps me company.

I'm glad you're ok from the break-in! I also have fears about my furkids' safety too!

I was thinking I'm probably insane. I don't have any human children and doubt I will. I love my cat and my dog like they are my children.

And likewise, I have nightmares thinking about when it's time for her to leave. Or what if I leave before she does? Who will care for her just like I do?

She's on my mind constantly. I think about her when I'm at work and I don't go away for vacation.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

Hmmmm. I'd love to say you're a crazy cat lady, but I think we have too much in common for that. 

It does sound like your feelings for your cat are the same as they would be for a baby, and as women with no kids, we probably do express our nurturing/mothering instincts on cats. I honestly feel I couldn't love a baby more than I love Murphy, and I totally understand your instinct to protect. (That sounds like a terrible incident with the burglary. I hope you were okay.) And look at it this way -- we can leave the cat home alone! Can you imagine never being able to leave your house without a baby in tow?

I don't know. People would probably say yes, we're crazy cat ladies. I'm not sure we're hurting anything, though, except we're nurturing these little furballs that probably won't out-live us. That's the sad part. As you said, it's something we live in fear of. Having gone through it once, I can say it's something you can eventually adjust to.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

Alpaca said:


> She's on my mind constantly. I think about her when I'm at work and I don't go away for vacation.


Well said. I do go on vacations, but I don't enjoy them as much anymore. I wish I could get over that!


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## Loves-her-girls (Jul 29, 2010)

I'm the same way!!! First it was my Samantha before she passed away . Now I'm the same with my girls Athena & Majesta. Forget going on vacations without my cat, Samantha was a traveling cat! We would have her under the seat of the plane and made sure we stay in "pet friendly" hotels(well most of the time). Samantha would go every where with us, she was our daughter..really she still is in our minds. I loved my Samantha so much that I did not leave my house for 4wks after she passed. We were so close she new exactly how I felt and went nuts when I cried(she would lick my tears)! Athena and Majesta are my living daughters with the spirit of Samantha sprinkled in them. I'm 38 almost and I don't see children in my future, but I have my 2 girls! Ohh and my baby daughters have a vacation coming up to the beach for Memorial Day week, the first of many.


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## razzle (May 20, 2010)

I know exactly how you feel. I've been worrying about my Razzle for 7 years at least if not more. He's my special boy. I even have children but my cats are my world. I feel they love me more than my kids. I would die for them. I don't care if people think I'm crazy. I have known a special love with them. Only a true cat person understands how we feel. I was always paranoid about my cats aging. Now my fear has come true. Both my cats have chronic renal disease. But it is a fact that most cats will end up with this disease. I hate it. It really sucks. I fear the time is coming when I'm going to lose my Razzle. My special boy. People have told me to stop this worrying and enjoy him. I know but it so hard for me to do. I guess I'm just one of those people who constantly worry about their cats. I don't like it but I can't seem to help it. God I don't want to lose my boy. He is my world but there's nothing I can do but give the best care I can. I'm always thinking about my Razzle. I don't want memories. I want him. It's not often that we find something to love that loves us unconditionally. I love him with all my heart. It really helps me to know that I'm not alone in this concern.

Kathy


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

I love my pets very much, and of course I have lost many over the years, one to renal failure, and the loss of each one broke my heart. But the death of my children would destroy me. Sorry, Razzle; I don't understand how you could put your flesh and blood second. 

I hope you have many happy moments with your cats. And I AM a true cat person. I just love my children more than I could ever explain. They were the most precious gifts from God. I'll never be worthy of being a mother. I'm also grateful that God trusted me with the lives of my beloved pets, very grateful.


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## dweamgoil (Feb 3, 2010)

It is very common for women who choose to not have children or because it doesn't work out for some reason or another to dote on their pets. People love to judge others and this seems to be used as a means to demean these women IMO. I have a friend in a similar situation and to me, unless she is having sexual contact with her pets or becomes a recluse never to see daylight again and starts to hoard a cat colony in her apt, she is within a healthy and constructive relationship/bond with her cat....period!

What she chooses to feed, buy, or say to her cats is all good and it's no one else's business.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

I _think_ you misread the last two posts. Kathy (razzle) DOES have children and pets.


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## Mary Beth (May 16, 2010)

I keep reminding myself that my cat is only lent to me by her creator. Unless, I am very old, I will outlive my cat. Each day that I share with Miss Mavis is a blessing. I know the day will come when Miss Mavis's time with me will be over and her creator will take her back. But in her place and to honor her memory, I will open my heart and home to another cat, for Miss Mavis would not want me to be alone and there are so many cats who need a home. Miss Mavis was adopted from the Humane Society.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

That was beautiful, Mary Beth. We are all going to lose our cats someday. I learned two things from losing Cinderella: (1) it will rip your heart out, and (2) you will survive and love again.


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

Mary Beth, you're so right. How we wish they could live longer. We just have to be grateful that we have them. They enrich our lives.


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## Ramey (Jul 11, 2010)

I adore my cats and would do ANYTHING for them and would never leave them or give them up BUT if I had children they would absolutely come first! 

Razzle - I find it hard to believe that your cat loves you more than your kids...kids are just more complicated than cats.


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## Kobster (Feb 1, 2007)

I completely understand the OP, and have had similar fears about my pets getting old. I started freaking out about Moxie when she turned 8 I think. She's 11 now and still fit as a fiddle. Losing them so soon is the only down side to owning pets as far as I'm concerned. Also, I don't have kids, don't want kids, I just want my pets. I dont' think there is anything wrong with that. I don't know how I would feel if I had kids, I just don't think about it because its not going to happen, so I won't speculate as to how I would feel about my pets vs my kids, because its a non-issue. 

I DO think that my pets love me more than I love my own parents, so I can assume they would love me more than any kids I would have might love me. If that makes sense. Now, not saying I don't love my parent, I just don't need her like my pets need me. Maybe I'm confusing need with love. hmmm....this conversation is too deep for me....


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## faithless (Dec 4, 2009)

I realize Ive displaced my fathering instincts from kids I've never had to this little kitty, but Im fine with that. I moved to a new city a year ago where I know very few people, and she's my best friend here, but she'd have scored very high on that list even if I was in my hometown. I too have pondered what would happen if a dog attacked her while I was walking her on her leash and Im pretty sure I would be kicking that dog as hard as I can (I actually like dogs, Im just annoyed at them these days for scaring the **** out of her when we've been on walks  ).

A couple of times when shes been lying purring in my lap so peacefully, so in order with everything thats good and clean and innocent in this world, Ive got a lump in my chest at the realization that one day she's going to be lying like that and pass away from me. Theres no nastiness in her, nothing bad or deceitful - cats just wanna have fun (and cuddles).
I cant read the over the rainbow threads, they choke me up. Ive also wondered how Im going to be able to explain to people for example at work that Im too choked up to come to work for a week, because I lost a dear one: 'Oh you poor thing, was it someone close?', 'yes, my cat'. 'Huh? You can't come to work because you lost your ummm...cat?'

Brrr, just reading this thread is enough to bring me down


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## Huge2 (Jan 28, 2008)

Not really.

I think Peggy is awesome, but if it was the choice between her and any of my relatives... Sorry puss. Of course I'd do as much as possible to save her in any life or death situation, but not if it meant sacrificing any of my relatives or even friends. 

I can go to a shelter and adopt another cat (not a replacement, but you know). this would be impossible with parents or friends.

Tbh I find it slightly bizarre that you'd put a cat before your family, but hey. Each to their own.

Having said all that, I'm the same as faithless. I just can't bear the thought of Peggy being gone from the world. It'll happen though, and the same with everyone else.


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## Feisty Kitten (Jun 18, 2010)

This thread is quite weird. I was describing how I feel for my 2 boys on another forum earlier. This is what I put: 

I LOVE cats. Before I met him (my fiance), I already had 2 beautiful persian cross boys. They are my life, my children. Seriously. I would throw myself under a bus to save them. They mean more to me than anything. I know it sounds sad. When I got them 4 years ago, I was depressed. I would've done something stupid if it weren't for them. I couldn't bare to leave them. It's still the same now. I love them with all my heart. They are indoor cats. I do let them out, but they are supervised. You rarely see Grey and Cream fluffy cats walking the streets. I'm sure someone would take them.


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

@Mary Beth: Your post made me feel a bit different. I've had previous pets go to the rainbow bridge and it's so hard. Although I'm not religious, the concept that they're being lent to me by their creator and are now with him, makes me feel better. Thanks for that.


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## Zhondriela (May 7, 2010)

I think its rude of people to say "Oh I can't believe you'd put a cat first". And why exactly is that so unbelievable? LOVE IS LOVE. Its a shame that people have such negative feelings towards unconditional love for animals. 

My cat IS my child and I love her as any parent loves their human children. What does it matter if she's not my "flesh and blood"? Are we not human beings, evolved enough to realize that there's more to love than sharing DNA?

I love and connect to my cat more than ANY human in my life. 

:/


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## paperbacknovel (Jun 9, 2010)

Zhondriela, I think what they said applies to people who also have human children--we have strong emotions and mothering instincts towards our cats (I know that I consider my cats to be my children and my life currently revolves around them--I don't have any human kids yet though), but we also have a biological instinct to protect and care for our human children above anything or anyone else. As much as we have a responsibility to give our pets the best care possible, we also have responsibilities to human children--and these children have emotions and minds more complex than a cat's, however much we'd like to believe otherwise. These children are also going to be our companions and caregivers into our own old age. 

That is why people are surprised that some are saying that they love their cats MORE than their children. It's just not supposed to work that way. IMO it's okay to consider your pet to be another child--you should see the way my dad treats our family's dog (she's his little princess and he holds her and rocks her and sings to her and would die to protect her)--but count me as another person who doesn't understand how a cat could come BEFORE your kids in your life. 

That being said, I love my cats and would do absolutely anything for them.  They can do no wrong in my eyes--they're my little prince and princess.


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## Ramey (Jul 11, 2010)

Zhondriela,

I completely understand unconditional love for animals! One of my cats has started spraying all over the place since I moved and people look at me like I'm crazy for not getting rid of him. My other cat once bit me so hard during a vet visit that I had to go to the ER and miss 4 days of work because my hand was so swollen. My boss' reaction: And you still have this cat? 

Of course I still have my cats!!!! I made a promise to these cats when I adopted them to love and care for them unconditionally and I will never break that promise to them as long as they and I are alive. I have even made my mom promise to take care of thme if something ever would happen to me. 

BUT: I would never, ever EVER put their lives before a human life. Sorry but I wouldn't.


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## razzle (May 20, 2010)

I think people misunderstood me. I said I think my cats love me more than my kids not that I love my cats more than I love my cats. At least that's how it feel. I hardly ever see my kids which is really sad. Believe me I would never place my cats over my kids. I love my kids with all my heart, more than anything, and would do anything for them. I would die for my kids. I think some of you don't underdstand when your cats are your constant and your kids don't call you or come visit you. I have to call them because they rarely call me. That's how it feels and that doesn't feel good. My kids and my cats are my world. I'm sorry if I didn't write it the right way when I first posted. 

Kathy


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## Huge2 (Jan 28, 2008)

So if your kids brought you a dead mouse, you'd be happy?


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## jusjim (Jun 30, 2009)

I think I understand zhondriela's feelings. I only had Zenobi for a few short months and we became so attached that I'm still trying to understand it. 

Now I have Missy. She's a sweet loving cat, and I've grown fond of her -- very fond, but it's not the bond I had with Zenobi and never will be. If she needs to go before me, I'll be very sad, but I doubt I'd rush out of the vet's office before I broke down completely. I also doubt I'd be sitting here with tears in my eyes as I remember her. I have tears now, not for Zenobi but I think for myself and my loss.


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## ardubs (Jul 21, 2010)

Mary Beth's post really touched me because I, too, have still been struggling with the loss of my dear friend Callie. I am so very thankful for all of the years that I had with her and she lives on in my memories.

That said, I would have bent over backwards in a heartbeat to do whatever I could for Callie. Unfortunately, I lost her before I could do so. I am single and have no kids, so I do feel like my pets are my kids, in a way.


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## Kurisuti (Aug 1, 2010)

It frustrates me that people don't understand (and don't even try). People can't believe we spent $400 on a climbing pole for our kitten, and they don't understand when I say "But why not? She loves it, it makes her happy, it gives her something fun to do while I'm at work, and it protects the screen doors because she doesn't scratch on them anymore!" Then I say how I spent $50 on her bed which she never uses and people think I should be annoyed by it, but I'm not, because instead she climbs in and cuddles up with us at bedtime.

She's a great little companion, she hangs out with me when my husband is outside or at work, or in his computer room. She watches TV with me, plays games with me, and we chatter away to each other (Burmese are so chatty!). 

My family (parents) aren't understanding at all. They think I should be locking her out of the bedroom so she has to sleep outside in the hallway (in the COLD!). They don't understand why, when she had to have a bath recently, I laid out her blanket and put the heater on so she could dry off nicely (what's the problem here? Why would i let her sit around being cold? Does the extra few dollars in electricity costs matter?! NO!). They also don't understand why I don't get annoyed when she tries to pinch some of my dinner. They think it's gross that I let her lick/sniff my hands! They don't get why I don't like leaving her home alone all weekend. It's annoying and frustrating but it's so incredibly common, people don't and don't WANT to understand.

I guess some people are pet people, and others just aren't? 

Me, my husband and our kitten are our little family. No our family hasn't got human kids yet, and yes we consider little miss kitty cat into all our decisions. So WHAT? At least, unlike people, she is not going to lie to us, betray us, be horrible.


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## Huge2 (Jan 28, 2008)

So I'm the only normal one here then?


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## Feisty Kitten (Jun 18, 2010)

Huge said:


> So I'm the only normal one here then?


I'm not sure that what you class as normal is normal here Huge 

In fact, I think you're abnormal here!!! :wink


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## Huge2 (Jan 28, 2008)

hahaha fair point well made.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

This is scary. We're arrived at a place where Huge is the only normal one.


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## Huge2 (Jan 28, 2008)

Oh my Bunny....


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## kitty13 (Jul 20, 2010)

Mary Beth - I absolutely love Miss Mavis' name and your attitude about her lifespan. We currently shelter and adore 21 cats and 3 dogs. Many have died over my lifetime of rescue and I never forget a single one of them and think about them often.


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## melysion (Mar 12, 2007)

Interesting thread.

As 'horrified' as I am to admit it (  ), I have to agree with Hugh. My 'human' family will always come before a pet. 

However, having said that, I can't imagine not having my Tobe around. The fact that he has FIV makes me very aware that he wont be around forever and may not even live to be a particularly elderly cat but I knew that before I adopted him and will love him while he is here. He is spoiled rotten because .. well isn't that what cats are for? To be spoiled and loved? Hardly worth having a pet otherwise in my humble opinion. I have spent money on him that other people wouldnt understand and I hate the feeling of having to say 'Yes, I know he is only a cat but ...' whenever I've had to ask for time away from work to get him to the vet. I enjoy spending money on things I know that he likes and he can do whatever he likes as far as I am concerned.

I know for a fact that I spoil Toby much more than I would ever spoil my own children. Because I can get away with spoiling a cat. Spoiled children however, are a rather different story. I have no intention of bringing up brats!

I have to say, as a single childless woman, it does frustrate the heck out of me when people accuse me of treating Toby as a 'child substitute'. Toby isnt a substitute for anything, he is my cat and I would love him just the same regardless of how many children I may have in the future. He is loved for what he is, and not because he in some way represents something I haven't got.


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## sephi (May 9, 2010)

ok...now no one can get as weird as me about my cats... i am male and who said that cats are for male.. everyone calls me cat daddy. i am by myself and i do alot for them. i go home every day for lunch home to make sure they are ok and not bored. 3 to 4 times a day i walk them outdoor to get them fresh air except with no leash!!! i stand outside listen to music in my ipod and keep an eye on them make sure they don't go far and get lost. people looking at me and say: are you walking cats?
i don't go out much to be at home with them, i don't hardly go on vacation so my cats don't be alone for a day or two and i just don't trust the pet sitters!!!
the cats are taking alot away from my personal life but i am ok with that.
once i was in a date with someone and after couple times she came to my place and she said that the cats must go if things work out between us!!! well.. guess what? she was not around anymore to tell me that!!!


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## Dave_ph (Jul 7, 2009)

Would I sacrafice my friends or relatives to save my cat? Most of them. It's a qualatative judgement. You've never met my brother.

I'd kill for my cat. But then I'd also kill for a slice of day old cold Pizza. I'm lucky I live in Florida where we have very lax rules on killing people.

I don't take vacations anymore because I have vet bills. I wouldn't trade the furkids for 2 weeks in a 5 star hotel anywhere.


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## Zhondriela (May 7, 2010)

sephi said:


> ok...now no one can get as weird as me about my cats... i am male and who said that cats are for male.. everyone calls me cat daddy. i am by myself and i do alot for them. i go home every day for lunch home to make sure they are ok and not bored. 3 to 4 times a day i walk them outdoor to get them fresh air except with no leash!!! i stand outside listen to music in my ipod and keep an eye on them make sure they don't go far and get lost. people looking at me and say: are you walking cats?
> i don't go out much to be at home with them, i don't hardly go on vacation so my cats don't be alone for a day or two and i just don't trust the pet sitters!!!
> the cats are taking alot away from my personal life but i am ok with that.
> once i was in a date with someone and after couple times she came to my place and she said that the cats must go if things work out between us!!! well.. guess what? she was not around anymore to tell me that!!!


I completely agree! I could never date someone that doesn't like cats, no way, no how! When I'm with someone they have to treat my girl with the utmost respect, anything less I don't accept! She is my baby afterall, lol.


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## Kobster (Feb 1, 2007)

So Sephi, I have to ask, are you still single?


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## Ramey (Jul 11, 2010)

sephi - I agree about not dating someone who wants you to get rid of your cats but you shouldn't let them prevent you from having a social life. Cats are fine on their own for hours at a time which makes them great pets for someone with an active social life! You don't have to come home and let them out like you would with a dog. They are fine as long as they have water, food and a clean litter box. Don't feel guilty leaving them to go out for a date once in a while!


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## sephi (May 9, 2010)

Kobster said:


> So Sephi, I have to ask, are you still single?


yes!!  divorced three years ago and ex kept the house and i end up with the kitties, she did not want them!!


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

I know cats are supposed to be independent, but I feel pretty bad about leaving Miu at home when I go to work. She's a very affectionate cat that hangs around me a lot when I'm home. But perhaps I worry about her more than she worries about me!

When all of us go out and we put her in the cat room, she doesn't even try to barge out. She just goes over to her cat toys and proceeds to play with them. I just think WOW. My dog on the other hand looks at us with woebegone eyes like we're going to take off forever. Aw....


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## tanyuh (Jun 7, 2003)

marie73 said:


> That was beautiful, Mary Beth. We are all going to lose our cats someday. I learned two things from losing Cinderella: (1) it will rip your heart out, and (2) you will survive and love again.


Ooooo Marie! Now you've gotten me crying about your beautiful Cinderella again! I really feel your pain.. I almost miss her like I'd miss my own.. It makes me happy to see her in your sig though 




Dave_ph said:


> Would I sacrafice my friends or relatives to save my cat? Most of them. It's a qualatative judgement. You've never met my brother.
> 
> I'd kill for my cat. But then I'd also kill for a slice of day old cold Pizza. I'm lucky I live in Florida where we have very lax rules on killing people.


Hahahahaha!!


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## tate (Jan 17, 2010)

I feel the same way! I have no desire whatsoever to have children (I have 2 young nieces that I adore & dote on, maternal urges satisfied!) & I do treat my kitties as if they were my children. Even if people think we're "crazy cat ladies" I think we got it right -- pets are a huge responsibility which should be taken seriously, which most people do not. I DO base major decisions around my cats (ex: not having roommates because you never really know how they'll treat your cats when you're away, etc.) but I still go on vacation & have a normal life, I just make sure there is a suitable catsitter while I'm away (& call to checkup on them a lot ). Regardless, I think it's fine to adore your cats, some people who don't get it will try to make it out as a sick thing, but I don't worry about them because I know that true animal lovers understand.


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## brimingus (Sep 12, 2009)

I agree that some people just don't understand. I'm only 18 and my Fluffy is pretty close to my whole world. I love him as much as I love my mother and my sister. I would probably die for him. I refuse to leave him when the tornado sirens go off or there's a bad storm. Illinois gets a lot of tornado sirens. Fluffy is very very important to me. I worry about him a lot. Especially now that he's 13. And especially now that I'm leaving for college on Tuesday. I'm pretty sure I'm his world, too, with as much as he follows me around and lays on me all the time. I don't look at Fluffy as my child because that would be weird for me. It's hard to give a name to the relationship I have with my cat. I guess he would be more like a brother because we grew up together.

But he is that important to me. I would die for him just like I would die for my family and I would kill for him, too. He's just as important to me as my mother or sister.


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## Auntie Crazy (Dec 10, 2006)

faithless said:


> ...A couple of times when shes been lying purring in my lap so peacefully, so in order with everything thats good and clean and innocent in this world, Ive got a lump in my chest at the realization that one day she's going to be lying like that and pass away from me. Theres no nastiness in her, nothing bad or deceitful - cats just wanna have fun (and cuddles).
> 
> I cant read the over the rainbow threads, they choke me up....


My sentiments precisely. 

I have adult children and if I were forced to choose between saving one over the other, I would save my child's, however, life doesn't consist of such drastic choices, it's made up of all the little moments. 

When I'm at work, I think about and wish I were home with the kitties, not my kids. My children cross my mind occasionally, but I don't long to rush home and find them greeting me at the door; in fact, I'm rather glad they don't. I don't want to be WITH them the way I do my cats.

And I believe that's totally ok.

I love my kids with all my heart, but they were never meant to live with me forever. My cats lives, however, are woven into mine in a tapestry that is made more beautiful, more joyful and more... _serene_ for their presence.

Their gentleness, sense of humor, and unmitigated devotion brought a new dimension into my world that I hope I never have to live without. As faithless says, they have a wholesomeness about them; a "gentle soul" kinda vibe. 

Go ahead, call me crazy. My family certainly does; how do you think I received my moniker? :wink


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