# Cat doesn't like to be petted?



## willyumyum (Apr 3, 2005)

My cat (the same one with the suckling complex: thread here) seems to not like being petted. Let me explain...

Sometimes he will meow, and walk over and rub up against your leg, or jump half-way up with his paws on your leg, like he wants me to pet him, and he'll let me rub his head for a second or scratch under his chin, and then he'll turn and run away (not with his tail down or anything, he just seems uninterested)...

And then sometimes he will be sitting on my bed, and I will try petting him, and he'll guy up and move just out of arms reach.

And forget picking him up. Sometimes I'll lie on my bed and put him on my chest/stomach, and he'll sit for a second, but then he'll start acting like he wants nothing else in the world except to not be near me... 

It's not just me, it's my girlfriend, and anyone else he meets as well. 

I'm really unsure of what to do, we (my girlfriend and I) love him so much, and we just wish he was more akin to cuddling and/or at least letting us pet him for a few minutes.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Does he just not like being petted or is it possibly something a bit more mental?


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## willyumyum (Apr 3, 2005)

PS. I don't know if his odd behavior comes from the fact that he was an only kitten (he was the ONLY cat in his litter)... Maybe that has something to do with it?


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## spamlet (Mar 14, 2005)

I'mnot sure how old your cat is or whether she's been netured, but before my twiggy was netured she wasn't a fan of being petted. Slowly I began petting her and talking to her in a real baby voice, and I would move away before she got bored. Slowly she began to enjoy it and now roles over on her back to get her belly tickled! With being picked up, there's a link on here somewhere which I can't find at the moment (maybe if someone else knows?) which gives you some tips, I tried them and it works! If you pick her up in a blanket and snuggle her, whilst talking in a baby voice and telling her what a good girl she is, but only for a short time, preferably before she gets bored, it should work!
I think it's something to do over time, which requires patience. I think also, that the fact she is an only child probably ahs something to do with it to, you can always pop in for a chat with your vet if it worries you! 
Good luck with her!


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

Not every cat is a cuddle cat. Sorry about that. I would just work on the petting very slowly working up the amount just short of what he'll tolerate. If you break it off first before he does, then he might, over time, want more.


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## Curlikat (Sep 7, 2004)

I would just add that if your cat enjoys being brushed (the Zoom Groom is a fantastic rubber brush) you can alternate one brush stroke with a hand stroke down the back to get the cat used to being stroked. Pick him up to give him a treat and he'll start to associate that with positive outcomes. My Indigo is extremely affectionate but does not really enjoy being carried - it's like picking up a starfish - all her limbs go rigid - but she lets me pick her up for brief periods because she knows it never goes on too long. I have to carry her in and out of the back door when I walk her on a leash as per a book suggestion to avoid the idea that she can run in and out of the door herself.


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## willyumyum (Apr 3, 2005)

I see, these are all great suggestions thank you. Just to clear some things up... He (Pogo) is around 1 year and 1 month old and he IS neutered. Thanks again for the suggestions and replies


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## CarolinaCatLover (Jan 20, 2005)

I have a similar problem with one of my cats. I have two males, 8 and 9 months old and they are neutered. One of them has severe anxiety when he is picked up. He clenches his jaws and he just hates it. He likes to come up and lay beside me and he will let me pet him then but the rest of the time if you pet him he will walk away. It drives my husband nuts. Our other one is such a cuddle bug. He loves to be petted, especially on his belly. I guess it's just different personalities, or maybe they weren't held when he was real small or taken away from mom too soon, etc.


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## JoeyM (Mar 1, 2005)

I spend alot of time with a cat that has the same type of thing. Her basic mood is one of 'you will feed me, you will clean up for me and you will be happy that I simply allow you to live near me'. 

It's not a new thing, it's just the way she is. She takes to me more than anyone else, and all i get to do is sit in the general area of her. She hates being petted, talked to, brushed, and always has. 

I think its just a personality thing. Some cats just don't really enjoy people. Its kind of a downer, but that's just how it is i guess.


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## Feral Fan (Feb 9, 2005)

Often female cats are a bit more independent and the males more cuddly... but not always!

A lot of people find that male cats become more cuddly and snuggly as they get older though. Young cats have a lot to do you see, bugs to chase (often imaginary) havoc to cause (all too real) and many things to investigate!!! My boy is very cuddly but he still gets distracted and runs off, then it just seems to hit him that he hasn't snuggled for a while and he RUNS at me! (He's 3-4 years). I have heard a lot of people say that around the age of 6 or 7 their male cats became so affectionate that they felt like their main occupation had become "cat pillow". So a lot of it has to do with personality (not all people are a snuggly personality!) but personalities change with age too! So you might just find that your cat settles down and wants more petting and cuddling.


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