# Did I took the right decision?



## Charlotte (May 23, 2013)

I Just adopted my first cat♥! I'm happy.

I believe I made the right choice by choosing him. He is physically cute, sweet, loves being pet and we instantly 'clicked'. He seems to feel calm with me. He likes my smell (he is currently sleeping on my laundry basket, lol♥) and didn't look frightened or scared when I took him home. Instead, he cuddled in my arms and slept all the way home, then -once I placed him on my room- got outside his carrier, walked around the room, drank some water, ate a little bit, and looked for a place to hide. We played for a few minutes and then he slept on my laundry basket. 

Yet, I wonder if I took the right decision by taking him with me.

His previous 'owner', a.k.a foster mom, was very upset about letting him go. She started crying and didn't want to let him go. He kept saying she still needed more time to say goodbye, and that she wanted to take him home to comfort him (he was scare, since there were dogs barking). She told me she was already thinking about keeping him if nobody asked for him, when I called. I felt guilty, very guilty, and told her that she should keep the cat if she felt she would miss him so much. But she said 'no', saying that she already had too many cats to take care of. 

So, all the way home, I was just wondering if I made the right choice by taking my cat away from a woman who was crying over the idea of letting him go. I felt that maybe she needed him more then me, and was wondering if I should had insisted more on her taking him. Or maybe I should have politely deny wanting him (even if I wanted otherwise). I have the urge to call her and tell her that if she ever feels losing him is too hard, just let me know and I'll return it to her.

On the other side, I also feel guilty that I did not chose an older cat I met last Tuesday. I fell I might had made a better act by adopting him instead of a kitten. I also think that maybe he needed more the adoption than the cat I already own, and I feel the need to return my now kitten to her owner (she would sure accept him happy) and go run for the older cat.

I am feeling so bad right now, that I am not enjoying having this kitten with me. I am not feeling any regret...just sadness.

Has anyone feel this way ever? Or do you think it is a sign that I made the wrong decision?

I feel so awful now.


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## wallycat (Nov 10, 2012)

If the woman gave the cat up, you made the right decision in giving the cat a good home. 
Finances, health, relocation/new apt. can all contribute to why someone surrenders a pet; that doesn't mean the decision is easy, just necessary.
If she knows the cat has a good home, then you made the BEST decision for everyone!


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## katrina89 (Jul 30, 2013)

Maybe call her and see if you can email her pictures and updates. I'm sure she would love that... don't worry you made the right decision. . Enjoy everything and spoil that kitty rotten

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## Charlotte (May 23, 2013)

Thank you, all!

I talked with my boyfriend regarding this topic and he said somethings which really helped me cheer up. I now feel better.

I guess I didn't though adopting a cat would involve other emotions but mines. I never thought of how the foster parent would feel, even after I have rode a lot of stories about other users who foster kittens before they have to be adopted. I felt as if I was taking someone's happiness away from her, but that is not the case.

Remembering what she said, she told me that she wanted to keep 'Cachito', but couldn't. And of course it would hurt her, but now she has the chance to help the other very older cats who needed her. She told me that by letting 'Cachito' go, she would try to reach for the street-cats who live near her house. She also told me she was planning to adopt a senior cat she found on the street, but couldn't because she had 'Cachito'. So I guess I'm helping not only one cat, but two or even three or four at the same time. I also know 'Johnny' will remain in the shelter and won't be sacrifice, so he is 'okay' too. 

Also, as my boyfriend said, if she was seriously thinking about keeping him with her she would have just said so. She would have taken my offer of staying with him and refuse to have put him on adoption. I will try to keep contact with her (although, I'd like the contact to be from distance...she insisted a lot on taking care of him for the weekends, and I am not very comfortable with that idea) by e-mail or facebook. Maybe I could also use Instagram.

I love 'Cachito'. We get along pretty well. He is right now sleeping on my laundry basket...which I want to believe its a good sign that he likes me. He hasn't eat or drink water, which has me a little bit worried...but the lady of the shelter said this might be normal during the first day, since he's just adjusting.

Once again, thank you *Katrina89* and *WallyCat*. I have found peace in my mind, and my heart is no overwhelm with joy with my new kitten♥ I'll be opening my own thread on "Meet my Cat" ^w^!


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## katrina89 (Jul 30, 2013)

Yay your welcome!!

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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

The foster mother behaved awfully. I can understand being attached and sad to see a kitten go, but she was over the top. Leaving the new owner feeling guilty for adopting a kitten is terrible. You did nothing wrong by adopting this kitten, the foster mom was very inappropriate. 

Enjoy your kitten. And I would not stay in touch with this person. You are under no obligation to do so and she has no right to demand that she cat sit for you.


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## Lovemychanel (Mar 20, 2013)

I agree!!!!!!!


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## DeafDogs&Cat (Mar 27, 2013)

Just FYI... most of us fosters cry when one gets adopted... but usually in private or a teary goodbye and a thanks for adopting. .. we dont usually make an adopter feel guilty!


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

I agree about this foster mom's behavior . Perhaps she was inexperienced or just emotional, but she should not have put that emotional burden on you. You did good! Was Cachito the one that was not available until this past Saturday? He is the one with the spots in the ear, right? Did you ever find out what those were?? Can't wait to hear what his new name is. I would send her email updates, but no visits. Cachito needs to setting in to his new home.


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## lovetimesfour (Dec 1, 2010)

doodlebug said:


> The foster mother behaved awfully. I can understand being attached and sad to see a kitten go, but she was over the top. Leaving the new owner feeling guilty for adopting a kitten is terrible. You did nothing wrong by adopting this kitten, the foster mom was very inappropriate.
> 
> Enjoy your kitten. *And I would not stay in touch with this person. You are under no obligation to do so and she has no right to demand that she cat sit for you*.


Agree with this. How terrible to take away from your enjoyment of your new baby that way.

Fostering is very difficult, perhaps this person ought to give it up!

Congratulations to you both!


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## Charlotte (May 23, 2013)

Thanks for your congratulations and support.

Fortunately, she hasn't try to reach me yet...although, she insisted that I gave her my phone number (I gave her an old number which I plan to change next month, but didn't told her so). I also told her I could send her pictures or updates on FB if she wanted. But no, I wouldn't want her to baby sit him...it's not that I do not trust her, I just feel it was so much pain for her to let him go. And I also feel he is feeling really comfortable in his new home with me♥

Marcia, I told the vet about those spots on his ear and she said there is nothing to worry about. It just dirt, and can be taken of with a towel (which I did). I'm taking him to the vet again this Wednesday, since he has to be sterilized.

I believe fostering can be really hard, and letting those babies go can be terrible. But I also think that you should try to make the new parent feel so happy and thrilled. I believe as a foster parent you should be smiling -even if you feel like crying- just so both cat and parent feel happy with the decision.

I have no regrets now. 'Cachito' and I had a wonderful time yesterday♥ and I am now 100% sure I made the right choice. Thanks!


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## heston (Nov 17, 2011)

You made the right decision Charlotte, he needed a home and you gave him one. Don't worry about him not eating right away, Autumn didn't eat for a couple of days, she stayed under the bed. Soon tho she ate and now she is way to fat :sad: Good luck to both of you, you will love having a kitty.


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## cattygurl (Aug 9, 2013)

know how you felt Charlotte, one of my cats that I look after came from a family who could no longer care for their new kitten (due to recent redundancy), it was heartbreaking when they brought her to me as the daughter came along, aged 7, and she was sooo upset at leaving the little kitten behind. I felt awful, but said she could come and visit at any time!


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## amy22 (Jul 5, 2013)

Yes you did make the right decision!! Your first instincts and the way you bond in the first minutes is really the only thing you can go on. It sounds like you and Cachito are perfect for each other. Don't worry about the older cats you can't take. You can't adopt every cat out there and there are many adopting owners who only want adults. I went to the shelter planning on getting a mature cat or senior (at least 2 yrs old) and instead found Freja. She met my gaze and my heart just melted. When the attendant took her back to her cage after signing all the adoption papers with me, another lady in a wheelchair said "Oh I want that one!" and I felt just awful. Now Freja and I are best friends and the other lady got a dog so I don't feel so bad anymore.


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

This person is another nutty cat rescuer. She doesnt see the big picture and its about her not the cats. If you foster, youre doing it for the cats not for your self. She was very wrong behaving that way. She needs a class on fostering 101. There are thousands of cats which need our help. She should be rejoicing when a good family steps forward to bring a cat into their family. Keep away from contact with her. She is unbalanced and trouble.


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## Blakeney Green (Jan 15, 2013)

DeafDogs&Cat said:


> Just FYI... most of us fosters cry when one gets adopted... but usually in private or a teary goodbye and a thanks for adopting. .. we dont usually make an adopter feel guilty!


Yeah, the foster mom was out of line. It's natural to become emotionally attached to the pets we care for - I get that, I'm a shelter volunteer - but the point of fostering and shelter care is _adoption_, not a permanent limbo where the cat never gets a forever home.

If she wanted to adopt the cat herself, she could and should have done it. If she was unprepared to do that for whatever reason, she needed to release the cat to its permanent home. It's not fair to the cat to keep him or her in a home that will not be permanent when someone else wants to adopt simply to ease the foster parent's feelings of loss.

The cat needed a home that will be for life, and the sooner that happens, the better for the cat.

You did nothing wrong. The foster mom was not wrong to have emotions, but she should have released those emotions in private or with people close to her, not dumped them on the adopter.

As for adopting a kitten versus an older cat, there's no right or wrong. (Personally, I've done both and feel both adoptions were the best decision at the time.) Every kitten you adopt frees up foster home space for another kitten, and this time of year there are _so_ many kittens in need that those spaces are desperately needed.

_Every_ cat or kitten adoption saves a life... sometimes directly, and sometimes by giving another cat a chance to have a safe place to go. You have nothing to feel guilty about, and it makes me sad that you were even burdened with any of this in the first place. 

You made a good choice to adopt. Enjoy your new kitten!


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## Jetlaya67 (Sep 26, 2012)

That is why I could not foster. I am afraid I would get too emotionally attached to the cats. I have the deepest respect for all of you that foster. You guys are amazing, thank you!


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

Nicely put Blakeny Green!


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