# New cat SCARED to DEATH of husband, don't know why?



## UnicornIsis (Mar 20, 2006)

Hello, I'm new. 

We have three cats. Lacea, Nica, and Autumn. 

Lacea -- Female, born 4/13/1998, fixed

Nica -- Male, born 6/10/2004, fixed

Autumn -- Female, born 7/20/2005, fixed, born feral adopted from rescue group, Polydactyl on all 4 feet

They all get along pretty well. We just got Autumn at the end of December. She was one of 3 sisters born in a feral colony and rescued at 5 weeks old. She was fostered by one person for a few weeks and then by the lady we got her from. This was all done by the rescue group that feeds and steralizes the colony. 

Autumn does very well with me now. She sleeps on the bed with me, will come and jump in my lap when she wants to be petted, come when I call her name. She does great. The only problem is that she's scared of my husband. I'm home all day with the cats while he works. She won't go near him or come near me when he's near me. He's never hurt her anything. She's been scared of him since we brought her home. 

Its been almost 3 months and the little bit of improvement she's made is that when my husband is in the room and she seems him coming, as long as she's across the room, she doesn't run. If she's closer to him, or he comes towards her, or she doesn't see him come into the room she scatters so fast you can't even tell where she went. 

And she's started clawing me on purpose to get away from me when I'm holding her and either go near my husband or when he comes near us, even if he doesn't try to hold her or touch her. We started out with me holding her while he petted her to try to get her used to him. She would just crouch in my lap until either he was gone or I let her go. Now she's started to purposely claw even though she's not as scared as she used to be. She'll look at me, hold her paw up, and keep patting me with claws out until I let her go. I usually let go after 2 or 3 taps with the claws. And she only does it with one paw when she does this. 

Anybody have any ideas? My husband is getting fed up that she doesn't like him. Lacea and Nica were mine before we got married. Lacea had been my companion for years and Nica I got when we were dating, so Nica knew my husbnad since he was a kitten. Both Nica and Lacea LOVE my husband. In fact we call them "traitor kitties" when they leave me to go love on my husband! :>) So I don't understand why Autumn is so scared of him. 

Any help or ideas would be GREATLY apperciated.
Thanks!!


P.S. More below.


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## TAsunder (Apr 6, 2004)

Have you tried cheesy tricks like putting an old shirt he has sweat a lot in somewhere she likes to lay/sit, or putting their food bowls during meal time next to him?


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## UnicornIsis (Mar 20, 2006)

She LOVES to lay on his side of the bed after he goes to work and LOVES to lay on his cloths in front of the washer or where ever around the house he leaves them. 

And she LOVES to lay on and around his feet at night when he's asleep. Hte second he wakes up though, she's gone. The second he's asleep, she's on the bed. She will love all over him when he's asleep. I really think she WANTS to love him, she's just scared of him or maybe of men for some reason.


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## Superkitties (Jan 30, 2004)

This isn't uncommon, so tell your hubby it's not him, he's just the wrong gender (guessing). LOL. Just keep doing what you're/he's doing, and eventually she'll come around. It's encouraging that she likes to lay where he rests, etc. Either she's getting used to his scent, or she's overlaying all his scents with hers, i.e. dominance. Whatever, it's still progress.

My Kayla took over a year to warm up to my hubby, and we got her when she was a tiny kitten. She would NOT let hubby anywhere near her. We were at a loss to explain it, until we noticed that she did the same to all male visitors, but not to female visitors.

About a year and a half later, she just sat right on his lap one day. It was amazing. Now she demands regular lap time with him, and sleeps on his head. Actually she tries to shove him off the pillow.


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## nanook (Jun 12, 2005)

As Superkitties said, this does happen and your husband shouldn't take it personlly. I wouldn't force her. Just let her come round in her own time. It may help if he's the one who feeds her. Also, if there is a treat she really likes have him only give it to her. Perhaps when he gets home every day so she'll look forward to it. Sometimes, the way to a felines heart is through her stomach!  
The only other things to consider are, where does he work? Could it be a smell that he brings home that she doesn't like? Another animal perhaps? Does he tend to be a loud person?
I think with patients and not forcing the issue she'll come around.


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## TAsunder (Apr 6, 2004)

My ex-girlfriend had a skittish cat who was afraid of most people. Part of this may have been her previous boyfriend at the time, who would yell at her and generally be angry with her. The cat eventually got a bit accustomed to me, but even after months it never quite liked me as much.

The main thing to make sure is that the husband is always the "good guy" as in, feeding and not administering medicine. I'm sure she'll come around eventually.


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## Lululemon (Mar 1, 2006)

When we got my cat Lily, about a year ago, she was terrified of my Dad. She sounded just like your cat.. the only we did was just try to let her know he will not harm her and eventually she came around although she is still quite reserved around him. Keep doing what you are doing and soon her curiosity will get the best of her and she might go up to him.

Oh and also we made him feed her all the time so she could associate him with a good thing... food


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

Men are bigger, louder, and often move faster and jerkier. No wonder cats are more likely to be afraid of men. In addition to the other things suggested here, I'd like to add that he should make every effort to move slowly and quietly, and speak in a quiet, soothing tone, when around the cat. Tell him to direct his attention AWAY from the cat; but of course he has to be aware of where she is so he doesn't make any movement in her direction that could be construed as threatening.

When she learns your husband can be trusted, then she'll come to him in her own time and on her own terms.


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