# No one understands - loss of cat



## manitobaskyline (Sep 28, 2008)

I lost my Tigger on Friday. I had him for 17.5 years. He took a ton of meds every day and I gave him fluids every other day. He required a lot of my care, with meds twice a day...many meds. We were so close. He was one of those cats that was like a person, always talking to me, very vocal, always on my lap. Such a tremendous loss for me. I have gone from spending so much time with this cat every day to absolutely nothing. It's tramatic for me. I have no children and I'm a widow. This is a big loss for me. Almost like losing a child. Do you think my large family cares? I called both my sisters and told them on Friday, in tears. Do you think either of them have called me since???? I'm very close to both of them. Thankfully my one brother has been calling and checking in with me every day. Why can't they get a clue? I'm all alone in this world and lost my cat of 17.5 years? Good grief! Really upsetting me but there is nothing I can do about it. I just feel so alone. I know you all understand. I lost another cat a few months ago. Thiis is the 4th cat I have lost but this one was the one I was closest to. 17.5 years for someone without children is a long long time. Just ranting...thanks


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## dt8thd (Jan 7, 2013)

I'm so very sorry for your loss!  It can be really devastating when a furry family member passes on. I've always found that the pain of losing a fur baby is different, but not necessarily any less painful, than the pain of losing a human loved one--sometimes it's almost worse, considering that we're so used to having them around all the time. The unconditional love of an animal is difficult for some people to understand. That's kind of where the difference lies, I suppose, at least the way I see it: some people love you unreservedly, _in spite of_ the things about you, the things you say or do, that they don't always agree with or understand; animals just love unreservedly. *hugs*


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## Dumine (Jun 30, 2014)

I am so sorry for your loss. I believe losing a pet is worse than a human, because all you got from the pet was unconditional love. No demands, no judgement... just love and acceptance. 
In their eyes, even with all your human faults - you were perfect.
My cats ARE my children, so I understand what you mean when you say your family doesn't understand your loss. How could they, they didn't know Tigger and the others like you did. 

We cannot be there with you in person, but hopefully you can find some peace in knowing that at least in spirit, we understand.


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## zuma (Nov 5, 2009)

I'm very sorry for your loss. Losing Ginny was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through and like in your situation many people simply didn't get it. There is nothing more offensive than family saying that it was just a cat and to go get another one. I know it's much easier said than done, but try not to focus on the lack of compassion from your family. Nothing you say or do will make them truly understand. If they don't get it, they don't. Instead come here and talk about your grief and about the life of Tigger, we all understand and most of us have gone through it once or multiple times. I wish you lots of strength through this tough time.


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## jking (Feb 22, 2014)

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel. Losing Misty & Tiger last year and Echo earlier this year was devastating. I also felt like many people around me did not have a clue what I was going through. This forum was a lifesaver for me. I agree with Zuma, come here and talk about how you feel, your grief and sadness and talk about Tigger. Everyone here understands and wants to help you get through this difficult time.


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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

Manitobaskyline,
We DO get it here...every single cat, I've ever had to help cross to the Bridge, has been devastating...:'(
I'm so sorry for your loss, I know it hurts, and the emptiness of the house now, is almost unbearable...
17.5 years is a Long Time, much longer than many marriages last these days...
Tigger will always be with you in Spirit...
We're here for you...anytime,
(((HUGS))) and Prayers,
Sharon


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

Awww, we understand. Most of us have been through this heartache - some of us multiple times. We know the grief and the sadness and the emptiness you must be feeling. And the terrible aloneness right now. We get it and we feel your pain. gentle cyber hugs to you. May your furbaby rest in peace. He was so loved and I'm sure he knew that.


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## Jenny bf (Jul 13, 2013)

Oh I am so sorry for your loss of Tigger. 17 yrs is a long time to have him with you and the pain of losing him and the gap he leaves will take time to get beyond. Many people don't understand that but we do here. As part of healing tell us your happy memories of your time together as a tribute to Tigger as well. Sending you hugs


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## Arianwen (Jun 3, 2012)

Very, very sorry for you. Unfortunately even people who like animals but don't LOVE them, have no understanding for how much we bleed when we lose a loved one.


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## cat owner again (Dec 14, 2012)

I am so sorry for your loss. I have found that people get wrapped up in their own lives and I am sure they care about you but they don't really get it. I think that there is an even more intimate connection because you were nursing him and he was like a child depending on your loving care. He had a long life at 17.5 years; isn't too bad they can't live as long as us? There is nothing to distract you living alone and as soon as you feel you can, I really encourage you to get out and be around people, even people in stores. Try to reach out. If you are close to your relatives, plan to see them. It is really hard to be all alone with reminders all around you. Time will heal.
And maybe you will be ready to rescue another fur friend.


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## bibiak87 (Aug 3, 2013)

I am so sorry for your loss! 

My formerly best friend actually belittled me when I lost my "old" cat. 
Notice the word "formerly"?

You are in the right place! Hugs to you from me! <3


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## spirite (Jul 31, 2012)

manitobaskyline, I am so sorry. I live by myself too, and I know the absolute emptiness you feel. When I lost my first cat, it was like I was afraid to look at anything in my apartment too closely, because there would be a reminder there. I didn't want to see that my little girl was no longer there. I only had Olivia for 2.5 years - I can't imagine how devastating Tigger's loss must be for you. 

And it makes you feel that much more alone when people you're close to just don't understand the depth of your grief. I also remember distinctly getting the feeling that despite their support, my brother and sister-in-law were secretly mystified that I could feel such intense pain. But at least they had the compassion and tact not to say anything, and I do think they were trying their best to empathize. 

I think for people who have never had pets, or even people who have had pets but who haven't treated them like furry humans, it's just not something they can understand. Your sisters may not have called back not because they don't know how important he was to you, but precisely because they do know - what they don't know is what to say to you. But please try not to let their lack of reaction add to your pain, and remember that you have plenty of support here. 

Sending you hugs and lots of courage.


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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

Manitobaskyline...
Thinking of you...you're in my prayers,
(((HUGS)))
Sharon


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## manitobaskyline (Sep 28, 2008)

Thank you all, it really has helped me!! All I can say is thank goodness I have my job. Let me tell you about Tigger....
I have had 5 cats, 4 are gone and I have one remaining. Tigger was the most outgoing and interesting of all my cats. He was so much like a person. He was soooo smart, when he was younger, he would fetch just like a dog. He was also extremely interactive with me. Talking to me all the time. I'd walk by and he would give me one of his many meows. He was always on my lap. We had such a deep connection! Each one of my cats had different personalities...China was a sweet cat that wanted only me. Buffy was also very outgoing and always wanted my attention. Rosie was a very sweet little girl. Very loving. And the remaining cat, Bluey....he is the opposite of Tigger. He is not a lovey dovey cat. He comes on my lap occasionally but he is just fine going on about his business. Doesn't seem to need me that much. But Tigger....wow, what a personality! I swear, I feel like we would talk to each other all the time. So vocal, the faces he would make, the various meows, each one meaning something different that I totally understood. Take all of that and add the caregiving part.... This cat was such a trooper. He took 5 pills in the morning and 7 pills in the evening. He took 10 ml's of liquid medication twice per day. He took a liquid vitamin once a day. He also got fluids every other day and a shot once a month. He never complained. In fact, especially the last few years, he would not run when he knew it was med time. I had a lot of strategies to keep his attention when I was giving meds. I would talk to him in a very animated voice and tell him he was a stellar leader of the feline community. I told him how much the community appreciated his leadership and how welcoming he was with new feline members...lol. I would compliment him on the speech he gave at the feline gala, tell him how handsome he looked up at the feline microphone lol..I would make up these long elaborate stories, always with Tigger as the star, the ultimate feline administrator, and he would not take his eyes off of me while I was talking. He just ate it all up. Soaked it all in. Sometimes I would just sing to him while he took meds...he loved "love me tender" and "misty". I even made my own songs up for him...and would sing them to him. You can now understand how strong our bond was. He was my best friend. I loved all my cats so much! Tigger was special though and the most human. I"m doing better as each day goes by but it will take a long time. My husband passed away 8 years ago at age 46 after a long battle with MS. Tigger and he were great friends! I have been talking to my husband a lot since Tigger died telling him that he had better be taking good care of him!! Thanks for listening. It's so great knowing you all really get it.


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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

Manitobaskyline,
What a Beautiful remembrance of and to, Tigger...
Please feel free to Remember Tigger in The Over The Rainbow Bridge thread...
(((HUGS))) and Prayers, as you work through his loss...
Sharon


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## Mandy and Ellie (Oct 22, 2013)

Manitobaskyline, I am so, _so_ sorry for the loss of your beloved Tigger.  I know how you feel, I feel like no one truly understands but real animal lovers, like the wonderful people on this forum. My worst loss was my family cat, Sheba, who passed away at 17 years of age when I was 17 years old. When you live and grow with that pet for so long... the loss is unbearable. They were there for countless happy moments, sad moments, and everything inbetween, being there for you and comforting you when some humans never can. 

Your Tigger sounds so much like my family cat, Cuddles. She LOVES to be talked to or sang to... she will just sit so contently and watch, and listen, and then respond with cute little meows. My sister and I made songs and stories for her our entire childhood and would sing them to her in cute voices, while she sat and watched and listened. Whenever I go home to visit, I still sing Cuddles some songs or talk to her. They're very unique and rare souls, for sure... it seems like they truly understand us and what we're saying!

I wish I could just give you a big hug through the computer screen... I am just at a loss for words, but am just _so_ sorry for your loss... Tigger is definitely being taken great care of by your husband now, getting lots of loves and treats.


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## Heather72754 (Nov 1, 2013)

What a rare and wonderful bond you had with your Tigger, no wonder his loss is so devastating. I just loved your description of the conversations you would have with him, and how you would sing him his favorite songs. I know he will always have a special place in your heart and you will love and remember him forever. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I too lost a special Velcro boy who was my heart kitty - just over a year ago. It does get better so take heart, although I know it's just so so hard to keep on going through the motions of life right now. Tigger was so loved, and he is now playing at the Rainbow Bridge free of pain.


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