# Socializing Kitten



## flash77x

Hi I am trying to socialize with a feral kitten that arrived at my house and I have gotten close to her she lets me sit with her while she eats but she is still alittle nervous. About how long will it take for her to let me touch her or hold her? is it safe to touch her cause i dont want to get bitten?


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## reeeeka

How old is she?

When we first got satan he'd hiss and back up and get all upset but really it was all for show. He has never bit us to HURT us it's usually when playing that he bites.


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## flash77x

i pretty sure she is around 4 months old. how long did it take for him to let you touch him?


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## Ioana

Four months old is a bit more difficult than under 10 weeks but not impossible at all! It can happen sooner or later also depending on the kitten's personality or if her momma was a more aggressive or more docile feral cat.
First you'll have to learn and read her body language. 
Get some garden gloves and put them in her cage so she gets used to them (a few hours should be enough). Then, put them on and put your hand at the level of her eyes so she can sniff it and see that you are not threatening her. Do it slowly while talking to her. A lot of cats prefer a gentle approach like the one I have described to you. If you abruptly place your hand behind her head, although with good intentions of just petting her, chances are she'll think you are automatically going to harm her.
If she hisses or growls take it step by step as I have posted in another thread in this section; is what I think is the best to do to gain her confidence. 
Plus - When you'll spay her she'll warm up to you even better while you nurture her during recovery
Here 's the link to the thread
http://www.catforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=23395

Let us know if you have any more questions and how she does!


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## Ioana

I have forgotten to add - the 2 older feral kittens I am fostering and taming are about your kitten's age. 
The boy warmed up to me sooner. I have had him for three weeks but it's been a week or so since I have been able not only to pet him but also hold him like a baby! The girl seems to be taking a little longer..


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## flash77x

ok thanks for your help she seems to be getting really used to me so hopefully she will let me touch her. I will keep you updated!


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## reeeeka

flash77x said:


> i pretty sure she is around 4 months old. how long did it take for him to let you touch him?


Oh she's pretty up there in age compared too satan when we found him. He was 5 weeks old...

I'd say just give her time, sit there and just talk to her and put your hand out...get some toys that you think might intrest her and pull them around the floor to get her interested. She'll come around...don't take it too heart that she isn't jumping into your arms. It's hard work having a feral...even when they are almost 3 years old lol

Good luck


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## flash77x

oh i forgot to tell you she isnt caged yet i wasnt able to get a trap cause they cost alot. I know its easier if she is caught. Will this make it harder to touch her? is there an easier way to catch her without a trap? She is learning to trust me everytime i see her but she is always cautious.


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## Sweetvegan74

*cat carrier*

I caught a feral kitten that was 4 months old with a regular cat carrier. Take the door off and let the kitten eat in there for a day or two with you sitting by it. The next day put the door back on and put food in there again when the kitten goes in and starts to eat, quickly close the door. Make sure to wear glooves in case you accidently get scratched.


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## Lynda J

I have a feral that I caught when she was about 6 weeks. I kept her in a carrier and took her out several times a day and held and loved on her. She would let me hold her but never relaxed. That was 6 years ago and she is as wild today as the day I caught her. Breaks my heart because she is so pretty. Long dusty orange with peach underhair and amber eyes. I see her from time to time in the house when she moves from one hiding place to another. She will live out her life in the house but I sure do wish she wasn't as scared.


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## flash77x

She starting to show more guts now she comes over to me when I am going to feed her its cute and shes lays down relaxed next to her favorite bush but she still doesnt let me touch her yet. I hope some day she will just walk over to me and let me pet her. 

From all your stories it seems like they most likley wont be that friendly like a house cat.


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## Ioana

IT depends on the cat, her personality. 
Out of the 2 kittens I have the boy is a lot braver and much more outgoing. The more I work with them the more progress I see. 
They and your kitty are very young so they have got a lot of chances of overcoming all the difficulties that lie ahead because of the constant care that we provide for them. The more people they get to know the better..gradually and with gentle approach, of course.
They might be a little more sensitive to loud noises than the typical house cat but they have a long ways to go until they become adult; so it is easier for them to forget that something shocking(at first) like the sound of running tap water or a door closing is scary.


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## flash77x

thanks, also she hisses at me alot when i walk out the door any idea what she means by this i was thinking bad but she does it when i am giving her food is she trying to tell me to drop it now! lol?


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## Ioana

You are welcome, Flash
Yes, I can see why she is hissing. My girl was doing the same thing. She has made some progress now. 
Let your kitty know with sweet baby talk you are going in her room, or around her vecinity so she knows to expect your presence. You have to see things from her point of view : she sees in you a creature that is considerably bigger than her. These little feral kittens look at our size and find us more than intimidating - threatening. So as a result they will hiss as their only means of defense.
Everything has to do with gentle approach, baby talk ..use the same words over and over so she can get used to them and see that when you are using them and that tone of voice nothing wrong is going to happen, on the contrary. 
Find out what kind of treats she likes - mine love Temptations (the same as my cats, go figure :lol: ) and as soon as they hear the crinkeling of the treat bag they actually walk towards me - even the kitty girl, Cheyenne! Yummy & smelly kitty cat food like Fancy Feast(cod sole and shrimp and salmon feast esp.), treats, the toys with feathers attached to the pole, the laser pointer - therefore lots of interaction will help you get to the next step. Have her come to you and eat; and then, when it is time to play you get the toys and have her come to you again - in both cases, eat or play, even if there is still some distance left..as long as she makes the move towards you she is on the right track..and keep insisting she come close every time
Also it is very important to hold her as much as possible. Mohave, my boy I could hold him like a baby from the beginning. Cheyenne was different so I was just holding her like most cats would prefer to be held; I have been comforting her, petting her on the side of the face towards the ears where they really like it. After approx. two weeks she shocked me when she started purring - she allowed herself to enjoy the caresses from the "monster that drops food and makes lots of noises..and has no fur either". Now I can hold her as a baby without her hissing at me. She still pulls her ears back and shakes a little at times, but I can see she is letting loose the more I make attempts to offer her affection.
If you are not comfortable with even attempting holding like a baby don't worry about it...most cats don't like it or won't even accept it. As long as yuo hold her as much as possible. Some feral cat tamers even sing songs the wild babies. Offering as much gentle human touch as possible will help make faster proggress. Persistance in doing all of the above is the key.


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## flash77x

but she is still outside i didnt get the chance to catch her i am waiting for her to be more social.


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## Ioana

She needs to be trapped in order to become social and contained in a small area. like a small bathroom with no hiding places but a carrier that should be her retreat spot, her bed also.
She will warm up to you at this rate (leaving her outside), however, and she will let you come close to her but she will never be the standard "house cat" (that can be petted any time, as oposed to a semi feral cat that will let you come close to her..perhaps even slightly pet her if she's in a comfortable environment)
Do you think you could find a rescue that would loan you a trap? 
And it is also a matter of how much time and patience you have. If you are not prepared to take all of the steps I have mentioned above then you can continue with what you are doing: you are doing a very good job.
I couldn't work with all of the potential "tamable" feral cats or kittens that crossed my path. All that matters is that we are doing our best.
The kitty is very lucky to have you. Keep us posted with how thing go.

P.S. One detail - It was somehow easier than usual to tame my kittens, that seem to be about the same age as yours, because I had them altered through a rescue and had their nails clipped; plus as they were recovering from the surgery I was caring for them and being with them a lot so they would look at me as their main provider.
It might be a little dangerous to try and hold her if you say she is still in the wild, even if you trap her. I would recommend wearing gardening gloves and being extra cautious.


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## flash77x

I will see what i can do about a trap. She came by this morning she was actually waiting at my side door steps for a meal. She always runs to the backyard when I come out the door and goes under a chair not the bushes like she used to do last month so thats a big step she took. I go and feed her and she comes up to me as I put it into the dish. She pretty much knows the routine now  . I was thinking about taking the step of petting her when she was eating. I wanted to but I had short sleaves and shorts on so I didnt want to take a chance of getting scratched or bitten. Any advice on what would be a good time to get her the feeling of being petted? what gloves would be best to use?


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## Annasaur

I have some feral kittens as well. Just yesterday two of them let me touch them. They were eating in a dish near me and I reached out and gently stroked the tail of one of them. Then I moved up her back and petted(pet?) her some more. When she looked up to see what was touching her she ran away. The same thing happened with the other kitten. This is how I was able to tame their mother though, by gentle touches on her tail and back. Now the mother is the most affectionate feral I've seen. 
I havn't trapped any of the cats yet mainly because I'm afraid I'll traumatize them and scare them off forever. I don't know if there's any fact to that, but for now I don't have any need to catch them. 
Good luck =)
She'll come around eventually.
--Annasaur


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## flash77x

thats cool hopefully my feral will let me touch her. I actually was able to play ball with her a few hours ago it was cool she was having fun hopefully this made her gain more trust in me. There was another time i was able to touch her but i chickened out again lol I am gonna wear long sleaves and pants when I plan on petting her for the first time just to be on the safe side.


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## Jeanie

Have you tried putting a dish of treats on your lap? I assume you are moving her food dish closer and closer. I had problems with one of my cats. She had been hiding from my bully, but would come to my window to get in. I started putting her food dish on my lap. I pet her while she ate, and she hissed. I took the bowl away and waited a while. 

I continued that until she realized that petting and eating went together, but hissing and eating did not. Of course, your kitten has to be really comfortable on your lap before you try to pet her. I hope this helps. We called our Creampuff "Psyxho Kitty," so you know she was a tough case.  Eventually she made it clear to the bully that she was not going to run from a fight, and stopped hiding. She enjoyed the attention too much!

Now, my cats are not allowed outside, just to clarify.


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## flash77x

Today we made huge progress! When I fed her fillet tuna with sauce she loved it so much I think she bonded with me even more she let me put to her mouth and she lay down next to me which she never did before. Her whiskers touched my leg so she doesnt care about getting that close and I almost petted her but I chickend out she quickly looked back when I touched the tip of her fur so I didnt pet her. I am gonna give it a shot again tommorow when I feed her. She was wiggling her tail hin a circle motion when I was feeding her does this mean anything like shes happy? could hissing mean anything else cause she hisses at me when i was putting the food in her dish and i wasnt even looking at her. When you first pet your feral did she/he ever scratch or bite? or did it just run or continued eating?


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## Jeanie

Wonderful progress! My guess is that she's hissing because she used to have to compete for food. I have heard little kittens growl around the food dish when there was something really deliciious in it! 

According to this site, http://www.moggies.co.uk/behaviour.html a wagging tail means indecisiveness. This is an interesting site about cat behavior! 

My Creampuff was not a true feral. She was a barn kitten with a real problem!


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## flash77x

what does it mean when she rolls around next to you? shes been doing this alot.


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## Jeanie

When my cats do that, they want to be petted. However, be careful. She might not want her tummy touched. I do think this is sign that she trusts you. (My cats love to have their tummies rubbed, but they are not ferals.)


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## flash77x

Huge Update She let me touch her and pet her! shes been begging me to do it You were right Jeanie she did want me to pet her when she was rolling. I was shocked and nervous! lol She really enjoys being with me! Now I am concerned will I get anything from touching her like fleas cat scratch disease ect..? cause she did play paw me and her claw hit me but it didnt really penetrate my skin.


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## Jeanie

I very much doubt that you will get cat scratch fever. As for fleas, ask the vet for Advantage. All you need to do is put a drop on the back of her neck. 

Congratulations on the great progress you have made!


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## flash77x

my father picked up zodiac flea control drops for me i know its bad for off the counter stuff but i have it so should i use it?


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## Jeanie

I have never used it. Make sure it's not made by Hartz. Also, make sure it's for cats *not* dogs. That would be dangerous.


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## Ioana

Oh My Goodness, 
Flash - you have made so much progress! How wonderful!
Be sure to to listen to Jeanie's advice on the flea medicine. Hartz can be lethal. I actually don't trust over the counter medicine. The only brandnames I would use are : Revolution, Advantage and Frontline. I don't even use them monthly because my cats being strictly indoors don't requiere it. Also be sure to use the right amount for your kitty's weight. There are the ones for under 5 lbs and the ones for cats over that weight.


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## flash77x

I returned the flea stuff so I am gonna try and get advantage soon. How should I go about on picking her up without getting scratched? shes been asking for it too she looks at me like she wants up lol. How should I handle her picking her up without her clamping my arms?


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## bobbimcd

*Socializing kitten success story*

Flash, I have had a similar experience with a feral kitty that has taken up residence under my deck for the past few months. Momma kitty had come to my house for meals before and after her 2 babies were born. She moved them several times so I couldn't capture her and the babies. When she returned the last time, she only had one baby. I can only guess what happened to the other one. 

Momma Kitty finally left the remaining kitty under my deck and would return in the morning and evening for meals. Only then would the kitty come to the deck, but was terrified of me. Eventually, Momma stopped coming for meals and the baby mustered up the courage to come on the deck immediately after I brought out his food. Just last week, for the first time, he approached the bowl as I crouched down to put the bowl in fron to him. I finally felt brave enough to pet him on his back. He didn't move, but I didn't want to press my luck so I quietly got and walked away. I repeated the slight stroking on the back each mealtime. And miracles of all miracles, by the weekend, he would stop eating and allow me to stroke him all over his body, even brush him! 

This little guy (sex finally determined when he rolled on his tummy) is 7 months old, much older than I have believed could be domesticated, considering his fear of humans. I decided to move his food inside by the sliding glass door, leaving it open enough for him to get in. He came in and ate and seemed interested in staying inside, as long as the slider was cracked open enough for a speed exit if he got spooked. This continued over the weekend and on Sunday evening, at bedtime, he didn't want to go outside. As quickly as I would put him outside, he would slink back in. Amazing!

On Monday, we bought a large dog cage, litter box and all the necessary cat equipment, toys, scratching post, etc. and after spending the evening on my lap watching tv, he spent his first night inside. Once I introduced him to the litter box by scratching in it, he used it and has ever since with no accidents....no marking, no spraying, (thank goodness)! Not one peep out of him all night.....no meowing, howling or attempts to escape the cage. Each day his progress in adapting to inside sounds and human presence has increased. He still stays in his comfort zone of the kitchen/great room area, but has ventured downstairs a couple times. He is the most lovey, cuddly, sweet kitten you could imagine. I am still in awe of the progress we have made in a week. The sage advice you read in this forum stresses "Patience", and that truly is the most important advice you can get. These precious little kitties have to learn to trust you and, with patience, you will be rewarded. 

I took him to the vet yesterday and had him neutered, vaccinated, dewormed, nails trimmed and he has now officially adopted us. Today, he is snuggled up in his bed (in the cage with the door open) and he is completely relaxed...not spooked by the frig kicking on or any other normal house noises.

I think we were lucky that this kitty has such a mellow personality. Momma Kitty warmed up to me and would allow me to get near her, but never touch her, so he obviously has inherited some of her good qualities. I know that baby kitty was so lonely once his mommy deserted him. He spent the entire 24 hours under the deck and only emerged to eat. We are thrilled that he has accepted us and will let us love and care for him so that he can have a quality and healthy life.

I have never had a cat....knew nothing about them, so this has been a new adventure trying to do the right things to get this kitty to accept me and this site has a wealth of knowledge with many caring people to offer helpful advice. I am so grateful to those who contribute here.

We still haven't decided on his name. For now, he responds to "Kitty". He has picked up on my hand gestures to come to me and get on my lap and when I say "No", (like climbing on breakfast table), he stops immediately. Can it get any better than that???? I think not. 

If you are thinking about adopting this baby or capturing to get him socialized, I would encourage you to move the food bowl closer and closer to the house entrance and eventually move it inside and see if kitty will come in. You may be as surprised as I was at how willing the kitty may accept being inside in a toasty warm home out of the winter elements. Just don't rush him beyond his limits. I wish you lots of luck.

Bobbie


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## Jeanie

Bobbie, what a great story and what a wonderful result! I'm so glad you have been kind enough to care for this baby and fortunate enough to learn how wonderful cats are! Congratulations on you success.


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## bobbimcd

>>Bobbie, what a great story and what a wonderful result! I'm so glad you have been kind enough to care for this baby and fortunate enough to learn how wonderful cats are! Congratulations on you success. >>

Thank You, Jeanie. If it hadn't been for all the encouragement from your responses to participants in this forum, I would have given up on winning this baby over once he passed the dreaded 4 month age. I though he was doomed to endure the trials of trying to survive outside. 

It has been the most rewarding experience to have won this kitty's trust and acceptance. I can't get over how accepting and craving he is to the human touch. He loves being stroked and touched. His purr motor is in high gear the whole while I am holding and stroking him.  We still have a ways to go to increase his secureness to venture beyond his comfort zone, but there's time for that. 

A local Humane Shelter lady advised me to put him in a cage in the kitchen/great room where we are most of the time, rather than a small room. I was leary of that, but it seems to have reduced his anxiety by being near me and has helped to overcome his fear of house noises, I think. I allow him complete freedom and only cage him when I am in another area of the house for long periods, or when I am gone and at bedtime. I hope that he will eventually end up sleeping in our bed, once I feel comfortable that he can find his litter box, if needed. The cage approach may not work for other feral kittiens, but seems to have worked for our kitty.

I do have a dilemma that I could use some advice on. We are scheduled to be out of town for three days next week for business meetings. I don't know what to do about Kitty. I dread the thought of disrupting our progress by kennelling him at the vets office.....the thought of him being in a cage for three days with all the animal sounds. I don't want to leave him at home alone. I have a lady who will come in and check on him 3 times a day, feed him, play with him, etc., but he doesn't know her and I don't know if he will accept her. I'm sure she would be willing to come over ahead of time so Kitty could get familiar with her, which might help. I just worry about her being alone for so many hours. My daughters each have a houseful of pets (dogs and cats) and it would be too stressful for Kitty to stay with them.

Would the kennel be the best place, even with all the negatives? The vets are wonderful and very much "cat people". I just fear we will lose ground on our socializing progress with this major change. Any advice? 

Thanks so much.

Bobbie


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## Jeanie

That's a tough one! I'd be inclined to keep him in his own environment, and have him spend as much time as possible with your friend. Perhaps she could kittysit him while you go out, even if it's just to go get your friend a treat from the bakery! Bakery donuts sound like a bribe I'd take in a minute! Your friend could just sit quietly in the same room with treats nearby. I hope it works out for you.


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## bobbimcd

>>That's a tough one! I'd be inclined to keep him in his own environment, and have him spend as much time as possible with your friend. Perhaps she could kittysit him while you go out, even if it's just to go get your friend a treat from the bakery! Bakery donuts sound like a bribe I'd take in a minute! Your friend could just sit quietly in the same room with treats nearby. I hope it works out for you.>>

Unfortunately, she does this for a little sideline business because she loves animals and doesn't keep them in her home or stay in your home. We used to have a pet sitter for our dog who stayed in the home, but I don't have anyone available now.

I've tried to talk hubby out of skipping the meeting or leaving me at home, but he doesn't want to make the long drive alone. I'll get something figured out. I suppose I am just a over nervous new "mom". I do have a good neighbor who's daughter feeds my feral cats and birds when I am gone, so I may give her a call. She may be able to fill in along with the "cat sitter" to come and check in on Kitty.

The doughnut treat is a good idea. What pet can resist a yummy treat?

Thanks so much, Jeanie. I'll let you know how it goes. 

Bobbie


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## Jeanie

The donuts are a treat for the person who comes to meet your kitty!


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## bobbimcd

*Socializing kitten success story*

>>The donuts are a treat for the person who comes to meet your kitty! >> 

Jeanie,

How funny! Hey, I warned you that I didn't know anything about cats. If you tell me to feed it doughnuts, I feed it doughnuts.  Not really. LOL Obviously, I misread your advice. 

Again, thanks for your help.

Bobbie


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## Jeanie

Let me know how things come along, please!


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## flash77x

do any of you vaccinate your ferals? is it ok not to?


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## Jeanie

I believe feral cats are in real danger if not immunized, much more than an indoor only cat. They are exposed to disease far more often.


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## flash77x

I noticed that my feral has been hanging around with her mother latley shes been poping up alot this week mostly in the morning. Today she saw me when I walked out tothe yard and she flipped out and tried jumping the fence but didnt make it over she then sat down near the bushes and watched me. my feral came over to me and started eating her meal and the mother was watching lol she looked shocked that her kitten wasnt running away I petted mine so she can see I dont want to harm mine or her but she then walked away a few minutes later. I had to go but when I came back the extra food I left out was gone so I am pretty sure she came back to check out the area and ate the dry food I left out. 

The next time I see her how can I get her to come over for a meal without her being scared?


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## Jeanie

Sit quietly, and talk softly. Move the food just a wee bit closer every few days. Evenutally, when the ferals are close enough, have an interactive toy and a real kitty treat that she will get only when she is closer to you. Let her make the decisions. Patience is the key word, even if that means weeks and weeks. Keep us advised of your progress, and those of us at the forum will help you as much as possible.


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