# How to adopt this stray...?



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

I've been feeding this strays' colony for a few months, and 2 cats there called my attention for their friendliness (they'll sit on my lap for hours) and their apparent suffering in the street life. One of them struck me as an obvious former house cat and I adopted him 4 weeks ago. It was easy: each day he became braver and followed me further and further until one day he followed me all the way up the stairs to my apt. and I closed the door behind him.

Now, the other one is too scared to follow me inside the building. I tried it many times and it didn't work. She does follow me everywhere, but inside the building she can smell other cats' territory markings and won't come in. She's also not a former house cat, apparently, as she's not as gentle as my Prince. She can bite me if scared and feeling cornered (although she's become a lot more gentle with me with the time).

She's become a bit of an obsession to me, to save her from the streets. She has these huge, frightened eyes that I can't ever forget...always tense and alert and never resting...and I worry constantly about her. I ache to see her all warm and safe, I have so many nice blankets and cushions and good food to give her, and love and safety. I wanted to adopt her long before I met Prince, only I said to myself: "whoever dares follow me all the way to the apt, can stay in it forever" so it was Prince I adopted.

She and my Prince have known each other for months, as they belong to the same strays' colony here downstairs. Prince is desperate for friends. But I don't know if they'd get along.

And I have absolutely no idea if she'd be fine being an outdoor/indoor cat like Prince or an indoor cat.

Besides, I have no idea how to bring her into my apt.

My father, my last family, died last week and I know I want to raise a family of my own, which I never did, so if the landlord is not ok with the cats (which he already said he isn't), I'll move somewhere else, wherever they accept me with 2 cats. Budget wise I'm able to afford 2 cats.

And I love both of them to bits.


----------



## Pawsitively Nicole (Feb 12, 2011)

I apologize for unintentionally hijacking the last thread. That being said I feel a little out of my league on this one. All of the strays I have taken in and adopted out I crated and brought in to a safe place and worked from there. But I never made them my own so that would make things different. I would assume that if you decided to have her as an indoor/outdoor baby that she would need to be inside for quite a while before you let her back out so that she would associate the house as her territory. If she doesn't want to come inside on her own then I'm not sure how to get her there except through trapping. I'm very excited to hear other peoples thoughts on this and to learn! Do you have a picture of your little stray female?


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Nicole, it was I who went off-topic on the other thread, no apologies necessary. 

I don't have a photo of her, unfortunately, I indeed want to take photos of my strays downstairs, but she looks a bit like Cloud, only sad and scared. Cloud seems to be smiling in that photo.

I kept Prince inside the apt for 2 weeks before I let him out the first time. I acted on intuition alone on this one, so I'm glad you say it was the right thing to do!


----------



## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

She sounds amazingly friendly for only having known her for a few months of feeding... Are you sure she couldn't be a former house cat that's been abandoned? My cat used to be owned by someone (I would assume) as she was spayed and has unreadable numbers in her ears yet it took over a year before she allowed me close enough to pet her, and just like you, she was my obsession to tame and it still took that long. Then another year or more to get her comfortable coming inside and walking around the whole house - at first I tried carrying her inside but she freaked out in the house once the door would close and the only way I was able to make it work without freaking her out was by using a cat door for her to come and go as she wanted - at first she only came for the food but she later stayed for the companionship. That obviously isn't possible for you as you're living in an apartment. Anyway, there are really only two ways around this from what I can see:

Wait it out by doing what you're doing, I don't have any tricks for making this easy - this could take ages, maybe never, for her to feel ready to walk willingly into your apartment. What floor are you on? The higher up you are the more likely this wont work. It'll be too many stairs and she'll feel traped long before you close the apartment door behind her. On top of this fact is that you already have Prince and if they don't remember eachother that'll be very problematic, cats don't always remember like people do. Even if they do remember, Prince might very likely want to protect his new home from outsiders taking it from him. She could also easily be extra leery because of trespassing on his domain. Given your curcomestances of a disapproving landlord and already having one cat I don't recomened this approach if you want it to work out well. 

Trap the cat and bring her inside - I really think this would for the best if you want her in your house as an adjusted member of your family. At fist she'll likely be very upset at being moved indoors but with time and care cats can normally become used to an indoor only life, or you can let her out with Prince once you feel she knows her place in the house and that she is getting along with Prince. Like already mentioned, you'd need to start out with her confined in the apartment and probably to a room Prince can't get in, it would be better to start off the intro like they don't know eachother first. 

Best of luck, whatever you decide. And I'm so sorry to hear about your father, I can't imagine how horrible that must be.


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

I tamed/socialized both Malibu and Pretty *outside* before they ever came inside. It was a long process; 5mo before I could "first touch" Mallie and 14mo before "first touch" with Pretty. Of course, Pretty took the longest to tame/socialize. I think it was at least 2yrs before I could ever convince her to come inside and overall it was a good 4yrs before she became truly comfortable. 
It was all worth it when she leapt onto a friend's lap to demand his attention as he was in the middle of an animated story. My husband and I looked at each other with our jaws dropped because we knew what we had just witnessed was a landmark moment in Pretty's life.
I do know that if I had forced the issue by bringing her inside I could have achieved results faster, but for her, this method of letting her go at her own pace worked best. I have no hesitation bringing in feral kittens to tame/socialize, but I've never done so with adult cats. I've always tamed/socialized them outside before they came inside. The only exception was The Wanderer who had broken his leg and had to wear a cast, I brought him and his 'hutch' into the house from the barn because I felt the weather was getting too hot for him to be outside.


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Carmel, thank you for your kind words and for the very detailed reply! It's all exactly as you say. 

Heidi, thank you, I went over old threads on here yesterday looking for similar topics, and found your posts recommending what you tell me here too. I really prefer the free approach too.

She's obviously a former house cat, because she sat and fell asleep on my lap on day 1, and isn't afraid of people at all, but she's terribly afraid of other cats, so she won't come in by herself. I guss the only way would be trapping, much as I don't like the idea, but I live on a 5th floor. I've gotten her and Prince used to sitting one on my lap and the other next to me, while I pet them both at the same time, so maybe the separate room won't be necessary? I ask because I don't have an extra room...though I have plenty nice, hiding corners all over the apt. Both Prince and she are neutered. I guess there's no telling how they'll react till I have them both here...


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Edit: Actually, "obviously" is not the right word. She may or may not be a former house cat, I don't know. But she's certainly different from all the other strays.


----------



## Pawsitively Nicole (Feb 12, 2011)

Oh Prince is gonna be thrilled! I think it would be safe to assume she was someone's somewhere along the way. At sometime she learned to love people and must have interacted with them. Oh how exciting!!

I may be misunderstanding your apartment situation, but is there any way you could set her up maybe in your bedroom or bathroom? I did all of my cat's safety rooms as my bedroom because my scent was strongest in there. The only reason why I think it is so important is because you don't know if she has ever even been inside before. It is such a new world for her. She may not have ever felt carpet under her feet, the sound of the toilet flushing, the telephone ringing. This could be overwhelming so I think the safety room would be a good place to calm her fear before she explores the rest of the house. 

I recommend this out of experience. My mother's cat was in her safety room for about a month and my mother just couldn't wait for her to be a part of the rest of the house (I completely sympathy with this feeling). So she let her cat out long before she was ready. The cat was extremely petrified. The family immediately went on a trip and when we got back she was still very freaked and bolted out the door. It was 2 weeks before we found her under the house. It was 9 months before her cat decided to make the rest of the house her own. But she is confident and unafraid of any of it and my mother will tell you it was worth the effort and patience. If you are able to create a safe place to start and let her set the pace of when she wants to explore the house then you will have a much smoother and less traumatic experience then my poor mom had.


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Nicole, again you're spot on. Now that you mention it, her worst fear and why she won't come in is that the building lobby's walls are covered in mirrors and she runs from her own reflection thinking it's other cats surrounding her. Prince (and another stray that came in a few times) knew from the start that those weren't other cats.

I can certainly put her in the bathroom or bedroom, those are places I can close the doors of, but Prince and I need to use those 2 rooms...


----------



## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

Yes, perhaps trapping would be ideal if weather is an issue. I chose to trap Captain Jack because winter was coming along and I was afraid he'd be frozen. Obviously, he was quite upset at first, but judging from the stories of the others, he came along very rapidly. He forgave me and I could touch him going into about the 2nd month after knowing him. Going into the 3rd month I could pick him up.

Also, I had also tried to get him to follow me into the house but without success. He was skittish and likely smelt the scent of Rocky the dog and existing cat, Miu. So with winter coming up soon, I felt I had no choice but to trap him.


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Alpaca, I can certainly understand that he was upset and angry at you - how dare you worry about him out there in the cold and rain, bring him inside into your warm house, feed him goodies, pamper him, try to pet him and love and protect him, give him a safe home and a family... I'm surprised he forgave you. 

Now seriously: weather and food are not a concern around here. Neither are dogs or people. It's the fear that cats have of each other around here that doesn't let them live in peace. I never saw one attack another, but they live in constant fear of each other, I don't know why... When she arrives, she's usually not hungry or not very hungry, she hardly eats, all she wants is my lap, petting, and for me to keep the other cats at bay...


----------



## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

It's hard to win the trust of an animal sometimes, esp if they've been abused before or their trust breached. I guess in this case, time isn't a major factor for you and you'll have to just be patient. She may or may not follow you in one day. Guess you just gotta keep trying then. Good luck!


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

How do I trap her? Do I bring a cat carrier and hope she gets in? If I put any treat in there, the other cats will attack the carrier and she'll be last to get to it... And the other cats _*always*_ surround me. A professional trapper costs a lot of money, which I'd be willing to pay if I knew she'd stay, but the chances she'll want to stay are not 100%... Please help...

Today she fell asleep on my lap after about an hour of petting her, as usual on the bench in the garden downstairs. She was so miserable when I had to get up to leave... She needs a vet because I'm seeing more and more "holes" in her fur. She seemed so small and alone when I looked back...


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

The other problem is that she doesn't always come when I feed. Only once every so often. So I can't book a trapping appointment...


----------



## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

If the kitty isn't scared of sitting on your lap, then just bring a cat carrier of some kind, leave it open, and set it close to you. When she's on your lap, shover her in the carrier.

You might want to bring a towel to wrap it around her to prevent her putting up a fight and ripping you to shreads. You might also want the back of the carrier resting against a wall of some kind, I've found if there isn't a second person to hold the carrier, that if a cat really doesn't want in one they keep pushing at it with their feet and moving it away so you end up making the whole thing take a lot more work.


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think she'd bite me, she wouldn't let me push her into the carrier... She's a paranoid cat.


----------



## Pawsitively Nicole (Feb 12, 2011)

Start desensitizing her to the carrier. If your other cats are interested that's fine too, that just means that they are already used to it if you need to take them to the vet in the future.

Start just bringing the carrier out with you when you go spend time with them. Open the door, set it on the ground and then ignore it. Your ease with it will make them feel less nervous about it and bring out their curiosity. Put treats inside to reward them. Praise them for responding to it positively. Just start making the carrier a normal part of your visit. I regularly leave my carrier out for my cats to sleep in, that way they don't only associate it with capture and vet visits. This too gives you plenty of time to look for the perfect opportunity to capture her. When she is in the carrier half way just kinda shove her booty the rest of the way and shut the door. You will have to be quick!

I wish I could come help you. Crating cats really is much easier with one person focused on the cat and the other focused on the crate.


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

I'm afraid that once she's in the apt and out of the carrier, she'll bite me!


----------



## Modra (Jan 17, 2011)

There are many reasons why cats fear each other, I believe they are drama queens par excellance, but there are also other considerents such as access to food and territory, but also hierarchy. It is not a good idea to force a cat into accepting even great things for her and you should not do it until you are confident you get the desired outcome. 
Btw: Prince looks awesome all tucked in the blanket


----------



## Pawsitively Nicole (Feb 12, 2011)

Well I guess biting is always a possibility . I've found, generally, that most cats will swat and scratch first and reserve biting for situations that they feel very threatened in. Most don't strike like snakes with their mouths. Biting is a risk you have with any cat, just like being scratched. If you do a proper introduction of her into your home then you won't be putting yourself in a situation to be bitten because you will not be imposing yourself upon her, which is the only situation I can think of that would get you bitten initially. 

If it helps any I have been bitten from cats of all ages, and although it isn't a pleasant feeling, it isn't quite as bad as it sounds. Just swelling and whatnot, but there are worse things in life lol.


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Thank you, Modra! 

Isn't it like the bite from a dog, that can take a piece of hand off?


----------



## Pawsitively Nicole (Feb 12, 2011)

There are diseases that you can get, though I don't know how common they might be in your area. I've never gotten one and most of the cats I've been bitten by were off the streets, some had even tested positive for bartonella (cat scratch fever). I can confidently say though I have not, as of yet, met anyone who has lost any appendages from a cat bite. They don't really rip things off, they are more like puncture wounds.


----------



## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

Cat bites aren't that bad. I've been bit countless times... it comes with owning a psycho cat (he likes to attack out of the blue) and a once semi-feral. Besides a little pain and maybe some swelling depending on how bad it is, their pinprick teeth holes are all that's most often left behind. Sometimes they don't even draw blood if you're wearing long sleeves or if they aren't all that serious about it. 

That's not to say that you want to get bit, but it comes with the territory, and in most cases, nothing serious happens. I've never even been concerned over cat bites. However, there are things to be leery of, like the previously mentioned cat scratch fever. My father got blood poisoning from a cat bite once, it was a really deep bite though, it went right to the bone.


----------



## catnapped (Nov 11, 2010)

Hmm, do you think since she's not so interested in eating, only in petting, that there's a possibility she does actually belong to someone and is just an outdoor cat who lives fairly nearby, wanders and has kind of adopted you as her second mommy? I've heard of outdoor cats time-sharing...


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Catnapped, if she has an owner, they should be reported, because she has worms and her fur is getting more and more holes.


----------



## Pawsitively Nicole (Feb 12, 2011)

Is there any way you could give her some flea medicine? I'm not vet, but my first suspicion would be that she has a flea allergy. That will cause loss of hair. It certainly won't hurt to have even if it is the problem!


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Thank you, Nicole! I do have flea medicine the vet left me for Prince, and I can certainly apply it on her when she's on my lap! As to the worms, I can't hide the pill in canned pate food because the other strays will get at it before her or attack her to get it...


----------



## Pawsitively Nicole (Feb 12, 2011)

I will have to think about this one :? Whenever I've wormed cats in large groups we've always wormed all of them so it wasn't quite so much an issue. What we did was put it in food and then kept and extremely close eye on everyone to make sure they ate their own. I can see how it might be overwhelming to worm your whole colony at once out of your pocket though  Could you perhaps put the pill in a treat and sneak it to her off your hand when she is on your lap.


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

I met her by total coincidence this morning. I took photos of her, one is in my album here! Her fur is much worse. Since she always arrives unexpectedly after days of not seeing her, I'm out of ideas of how to trap her. I can't live with a carrier on my shoulder... At this point, I'd pay anyone to help me, but I've been unable to see where she hangs usually, as she won't leave the station until well after I'm gone. Somehow it's hard for me to accept that I can't help her.


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Straysmommy said:


> ... she always arrives unexpectedly after days of not seeing her, I'm out of ideas of how to trap her. I can't live with a carrier on my shoulder...


At this point, if you want to catch/help her, you're going to have to bring a carrier and towel with you until you are able to get her bundled inside of it.
I'm not sure what anyone else would be able to do to catch her, especially if she won't approach them as she approaches you.
Best of luck,
h =^..^=


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Straysmommy said:


> Maybe I'm wrong, but I think she'd bite me, she wouldn't let me push her into the carrier... She's a paranoid cat.





Straysmommy said:


> I'm afraid that once she's in the apt and out of the carrier, she'll bite me!


I wanted to address the above ^^^ comments.

First, if your relationship with her is one of respect and personal enjoyment (_and I assume it is, since she will cuddle on your lap_) then I think the possibility of her biting you is fairly low. Granted, if you do not act safely, quickly and firmly when first bundling her into the carrier, she may bite you out of fear. To keep yourself safe, make certain you have a *firm* scruff-hold grip on her, bundle the towel around her and your hand/wrist. The towel will muffle her claws and teeth and your scruff-hold will help immobilize and/or retain control of her as you quickly stuff her into the carrier, towel and all. Be sure to close the door against your arm and slide your arm/hand out quickly so you do not give her an opportunity to escape. 

Next, that ^^^ is one of the few instances where I do not care very much how gentle I am. I don't want to cause injury, but IMO, getting a cat into the crate so they can be taken better care of overrules any 'handle gently' convictions ... especially when life, death and quality-of-life are in the balance if you do NOT manage to get the cat into the carrier. 
Getting a reluctant cat into a carrier will have the highest bite-threat and this is why I advise doing it quickly and firmly w/ little thought towards easy-and-gentle, the goal is to get the cat IN the carrier. Easy-n-gentle can come later but you've got to get the cat IN the carrier before you can help tame/socialize her at home.
_If she struggles, yowls, scratches and bites and you let go ... I doubt you'll ever get another chance to catch her by hand and it is quite possible that she will forever be put off of entering humane traps if they resemble a carrier, this is why I advocate getting them IN any way you can the first time._

Finally, once you have her home I believe the possibility of being bitten will reduce even more sharply. Be sure to have a safe-room already prepared for her before you ever open the crate/carrier door. I like to use a bathroom because they are small, easily cleaned and have few natural hiding places where the cat can become inaccessible in case of emergency. I like to stop-up the tub drain and place the litterbox in there. Food, water and a comfortable towel folded on the counter to lounge. Also provide a "safe-cave" so she *can* feel hidden and safe. I use the carrier, fluffy towel in the botton to lay on and another draped over the top and part of the opening.

...then socializing can begin!
IMO, the only time to fear being bitten is if you frighten the cat or kitten. If you are safe, thoughtful and careful in your actions you will reduce and/or eliminate any possible danger of being bitten. I like to use tasty, handfed food treats. Repetition and baby-steps will carry you both into a new life of person/pet relationship.


----------



## Pawsitively Nicole (Feb 12, 2011)

I completely agree with Heidi! I have usually been the one to try to slip the cat quickly into the carrier with someone bracing it to quickly shut the door. The times I was bitten in a carrier moment come down to not moving quick enough.

I also agree with her comments about being bitten in the home. Like I said, cats are not cobras, they tend to not just strike with their mouths. 

Heidi is a very *smart* woman who has done this stuff for years. Her words are golden


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Yes, I've had the best advisors on this thread, I know and I'm grateful for that. But I'm useless at these things (I'm moderately fine motor skills impaired, as part of my NLD, which is a kind of, or related to, or similar to Autism).

My new idea is to take her photo on a disk on key to the office, print her photo there, and give it to the building's cleaner, who spends a long time outside the building and knows my strays' colony, and manages a strays' colony where he lives. I have a bottle of expensive whisky that I won't drink (I don't like alcohol, it belonged to my father who died a couple weeks ago) and I'll give it to him if he manages to bring her to my apt. in any humane way he can. I'll also show the photo to the supermarket guard here downstairs, whose only task is to scan the area visually all day, and ask him to try to find out where she hides when she's not at my feeding station. I went around looking for her just now, after I fed her and she left, because I'm pretty sure she lives in the bushes or parking lot half a block from here, a few feet from the supermarket, I called and called but nothing... I'll keep her photo in my purse and ask the other strays' carers for help in pinpointing where she lives. If I can pinpoint that, then the professional trapper can trap her. He needs to know where she usually hangs.


----------



## Marshel (Dec 22, 2010)

I too am a real softy, but implore you to get it in a carier as so as possible if she needs medical attention.

I would start taking a carier along with me, placing it beside me and turning up on end durring the lap time. This will get the cat use to the present of the carrier. I would also place a beach towel on my lap durring the socializing time. When the cat is comfortable laying on the towel, start picking the edge of the towel up and stroking her with the towel. Don't press it. If she backs off quite and try again next time. Eventually you should be able to throw the towel over her and stuff her in the carrier. She will squeal, but don't be sorry for it. You ARE helping her. Take her to te Vet and get her problems taken care of. The cat will forgive you.

I have 2 house cats that were dumps presently. A very pretty Ginger showed up here, After 9 months I was finnally able to pick her up. I still remember the last two days I held her. She was looking ill and did not want to ruin her new trust in me so I did not stuff her into a carrier. She never came around after that day and asssume she died. I can still kick my self for cramming her in a carrier and taking her to the Vet. They will get over it.

In Dec. a litter of perhaps 8 month old kittens was dumped on me. One, Onyx, was at the door when I went out. I making her my new house kitty. One of her litter mates started coming up to me when feeding and I was able to stroke her a few times at feeding. The weather was predicted to turn real nasty and I was concerned for her well beig. I was able to snatch her up and cram her in a carrier. It was not without injury and was having issues about breaking her trust. I took her to the local shelter. The said she would be in quarantine for 2 weeks. I visted her several times when she was in quaratine, I went back to visit her in the catroom. She wasn't there. They said she was adopted the first day in the catroom. I felt guilty about traumatizing her, but in the end it was best for her.

As fsr as cat bites and scratches go. In the above rescue I was scratch up and bitten a little. My son, who is a Medic, said, "A cat bite is one of the worst bite as far bacteria is concerned." Her advised me to get on some antibiotics. I saw the Nurse Practioner at work the next day and she perscribed a strong anitibiotic and the wounds cleared up much more quickly than othe cart bite or scratchs have. This is especially true with outdoor cats.


----------



## catnapped (Nov 11, 2010)

Straysmommy said:


> Catnapped, if she has an owner, they should be reported, because she has worms and her fur is getting more and more holes.


That's so sad! I hope you manage to rescue her soon, she's a pretty little thing.


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

I've started to think that maybe she does belong to a household, because I can't find her anywhere. I took her photo to work today to make a printout so I can show it to people. I've been asking around, but no one has noticed her, as she hides most of the time.


----------



## Straysmommy (Dec 23, 2010)

Today she showed up. Always appears suddenly at my side, and in the same way disappears... I then walked a big part of the neighborhood looking for her, to know where she hangs so I can go there every day at the same hour and get her used to a fixed time. Nothing.


----------

