# Building trust with new cat after having to give him a bath :(



## cheshirecat987 (Jun 1, 2013)

I just adopted a new kitty to join my single cat household (thanks to the advice I got here in another thread, I decided to go for it!). He came home today, about 6 hours ago, from his foster home where he lived with about 15 other kitties for the past year. He is about 14 months old. His name from the rescue is Badger, and since I haven't settled on one yet, I'll call him that for this post.

So at the foster home, Badger was extremely friendly, active, confident, and outgoing. He let me hold him and played lasers and string with me. When I brought him home, he was understandably scared and unsure, but still curious and willing to come out of his carrier to explore his small confinement area. Because of the layout of my apartment, I'm using a jumbo dog crate covered with a sheet as his confinement "room," with a bed, cave, litter box, toys, food, and water, for the first couple days while he and my current cat become acclimated.

However... here's where things got dicey. Badger had pooped in his carrier on the way home (a LOT) and got it all over himself. I tried to wipe it off him with warm, wet towels, but there was just too much of it, and he was quickly getting it all over his area and his stuff. So as my first act as his new cat mom -- at a time when I was supposed to be letting him slowly adjust, get comfortable, and do his thing -- I had to give him a bath in the kitchen sink. It just about broke my heart -- he was too terrified to even try to get away. 

Since the bath, he has been hiding in a cave inside his big crate, and the outgoing kitty excited to explore his new surroundings has disappeared. He hasn't seemed to come out at all, and definitely not while I've been able to see him. I'm afraid that I have scarred him for life by (in his mind) stealing him from his family and cat friends, forcing him to take a terrifying 45 minute drive, and then torturing him under a faucet. What a thing to have happen on your first day with a scary stranger 

Have I traumatized him irreversibly? Will he ever come to trust me and feel at home in my house after such an awful first impression?? Is there anything I can do to help him out??


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## howsefrau32 (Mar 6, 2013)

I am sure he is not very happy, and all those things you said, scared, sad from being away from the only home he has known, and now a little traumatized by the bath. But give him some time, he will come around. Just be really sweet and talk softly around him, offer him some good food....he will come out when he is hungry. I would just give him a little space and time. I'm sure he pooped because he was really scared, I have a cat that poops every time he does into a carrier. Let me tell you about traumatized. We finally were able to trap Taffy, this was 5 years ago, so we manage to trap him in our carrier, with plans he was going off to that vet that morning to be neutered. We get him in there, he had been outside for a few months. He pooped in his cage on the way, he was covered in fleas, so they had to give him a bath at the vet. Then he has his surgery, I decide I want to see him shortly after the surgery, he was in the cage at the vet, shaking all over, and I jsut started to cry. When I picked him up that evening, he was all clean, still scared for the ride home, but obviously nothing left to poop out, so we made it home with no pooping incident. We brought him into our spare room, he had never been inside our home, and he was scared too. He hid under the bed as soon as we let him out. He pretty much hid under the bed for a day or two until he finally decided to come out. He got over it pretty quickly. Once he knew he was in a safe environment it didn't take him too long to warm back up to us. 

I think your boy will be ok. It's normal for him to be upset right now and traumatized. Give him a few days to get over that. Poor little guy....I know you feel bad. I remember how bad I felt with Taffy, and he got over it pretty quickly, and your guy witll too. Just give him a little time. I can imagine that he may have messy poop for a few days too, after his ordeal and until he adjusts to whatever you are going to feed him. Every cat I have ever had has had diarrhea when they first come to me. HOpefully he will adjust quickly and that won't be an issue for very long. Soon he will be happy to be in his new home...you will see


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## Venusworld21 (Oct 23, 2012)

Even without the bath, moving is traumatic for most kitties. Give him a few days of quiet and he should forget all about it (or at least, not be so fearful). Most of my foster moms take 2-5 days to settle into their new digs (all my fosters are kept separate from my guys at first, so they're basically only cats for a while). 

Some things you can do to help him relax:

Make him realize you mean food. For my foster moms, I keep water and crunchies onhand, but twice a day I bring in the wet food and they catch on real quick that scary human=yummy goodness.

Spend quiet time with him, without forcing yourself on him. Sit in his room and read a book or something. Don't make him come near you (but give him the option, if he chooses). Talk quietly to him, so he gets used to hearing your voice. If he does decide to come say hi to you, keep the sessions short...don't pet him for more than 5 minutes the first time. Ten the next....build up to it until you've got him used to and excited for your company. Could take a day...could take a week or two.


Keep an eye on his litterbox and watch for signs that he might be having other issues. Hopefully the poo in his carrier was just a stress thing, or that he hadn't used the litter before he left his foster home. But he could have an upset tummy or some illness too. If his poo seems anything other than how it should, perhaps put a little sprinkle of probiotics over his food...stomach or GI pain could be causing him to hide out too, quite apart from the bath.

I doubt he's irreparably scarred. Cats are resilient.


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

I will ditto the above posts. Just give him quite space and time and yummy food and verbal reassurances. If he was friendly at the foster home he will be fine. Just takes time; maybe even a couple weeks. Don't rush it. If he wants to stay in his man cave then let him, he will come out more and more if there are yummies to be had....hmmm sounds like someone I know.


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## cheshirecat987 (Jun 1, 2013)

Thanks for the reassurance, everyone!

I think I posted my concerns too soon... about 2 hours after my post, Badger decided he'd had enough of all that hiding business! It was like a switch flipped and he did a total 180 -- I heard him eating, which meant he was out of the cave, so I gave him a few minutes then peeked under the sheet veeery carefully, in case he bolted. But he could not have cared less! He came right up to where I was looking in at him and meowed at me, and when I opened up the crate he marched out to have a look around. He let me pet him and sat down right next to me.

Cats are so weird. :2kitties


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## krazykiwi (Oct 21, 2012)

I had to bath Sepideh a few days after she came to live with me, between the move and a change of food, and her being a long haired kitty, the result was quite messy. To make things worse, she is not a cuddler, hates to be restrained or picked up at all. She'll sit on your knee, but try to hold her and she panics. It took her 3 days to come out from under the sofa in the first place, and here she was not a week later being put through the worst possible cat torture: Being restrained AND obviously I was trying to drown her.

Anyway, she was clearly traumatized, she froze stiff the entire time and didn't even fight, and I did it as quick as possible. Even after when I towelled her off a little and put her down she just sat there where I put her, stiff and frozen looking, it was quite pitiful. Only when I went to pet her she freaked out, probably thinking I was going to torture her again, and she ran straight for her hidey hole under the sofa. I just wanted to cry, I was pretty sure she was going to hate me forever after that.

She doesn't  She came out again the next morning, and for a few days she was a little wary of any sudden moves on my part, or when she saw me carrying a red towel to the bathroom (I had wrapped her in a red towel after her bath). But she definitely got over it, and now she even likes to play in the handbasin I bathed her in - I turn the tap on and she splashes in the water stream. She still doesn't like to be restrained, but I've actually bathed her since then (long haired white kitty, it comes with the territory now and then I guess), and while she clearly doesn't like it, she didn't act like she was completely traumatised the other times.

So, if a very timid and very shy cat like Sepideh can overcome, I'm really sure one that's much more outgoing, like your Badger, will totally forgive you!


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## JungliBillis (Mar 20, 2013)

Don't worry! The same thing happened to my Aloo. Heck, she poops in the crate every time we travel. The first day I brought her home, she was covered in poo, and I had to wash her bum and legs in the sink. She was NOT happy. 

He will calm down and get adjusted in due time. Relax, and give him some time.

Congratulations on the new kitty! He's very pretty.


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## swimmergurl1105 (May 30, 2013)

The kitten that we just rescued is very similar. With each new thing (bath, flea treatment, nail trim) she holed up under the couch/bed for a while. Although I feel super guilty, I know we are doing what's best for her, so I just try to spend time near her, talk to her, maybe give her a gentle head scratch or treat once and a while to help her feel safe.

Unfortunately, I anticipate this happening for a while longer, but we'll just keep reassuring her and not forcing her out so she can begin to feel more confident that she is safe.


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## cheshirecat987 (Jun 1, 2013)

Thanks everyone  Badger is doing great now! We still have the big hurdle (introducing him to my current cat), but the bath issue seems to be resolved.


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