# Cat disklikes being touched



## lsmith24 (Jun 27, 2010)

My little girl kitty is about a year and a half and she just seems really.... strange. Like, even by cat standards. She has a brother who acts like a 'normal' cat but she has some strange personality traits. I'm wondering if there is anything we can do to help her calm down a little and act a little less spazzed out all the time?

She is really paranoid about people touching her head, shoulders, or neck. Sometimes she will bite if you try to pet her there (never hard, I think she's just trying to say stop that). But she really doesn't like to be touched at all. Sometimes she will sit right next to you and just talk to you (she _loves_ to be talked to) but if you try to reach out and pet her she will run away like you were going to slap her. Also, if you just put your hand out she will get wide eyed and back up like you might try to hurt her. 

We have had her since she was really little and no one in my house has ever hurt her, so why does she act like this? And is there any way we can help her calm down a little? Its not like she doesn't like people, she just freaks out if you make a move like you are going to touch her.


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## Kattt (Dec 20, 2008)

I feel your pain. I have a 7 year old female that I've had since she was 6 weeks old. She's been extremely spoiled and pampered her entire life, and she still behaves pretty much exactly as you described your cat. She's extremely skittish and hates to be touched, and will often try to bite anyone that touches her. But enjoys sitting next to me while I talk to her. I think all cats just have different personalties. While most are lovable, some cats just can't be bothered. And some are more proned to higher anxiety/stress.

First, if you haven't already... I'd have a vet look at her, just to make sure theres not a medical reason that she's sensitive to you touching those areas. 

There are things you can try to calm her stress such as a Feliway Plug-In Diffuser, Feliway Spray, Composure and Rescue Remedy.

I tried the Feliway Diffuser and it did absolutely nothing for my cat, but others have had success with it. I just ordered the Feliway Spray which supposedly works better, so I'll be trying that next. I tried Rescue Remedy for the first time last night, and it definitely had a weird effect on my cat, kind of zoned her out.. but my cat has other issues at the moment too, so I can't really give an effective opinion on how it works just yet, without trying it some more. What works on one cat, won't necessarily work on another. So its all trial and error finding what will work for your cat.

Good luck with your kitty.


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## icatguy (May 15, 2010)

I have a cat that doesn't like being held. But over the years, we've made progress. So, a couple pieces of advice FWIW:

1) she's an individual, don't expect her to ever be like any other cat. Allow her to be herself. Respect her individuality.

2) have a lot of patience.

3) slowly, quietly, calmly, with lots of #2 along with lots of peristance, get her accustomed to touch. How? Start with very little and in places where she's not sensistive: maybe just a soft, quiet stroke with a finger-tip. Always make sure she sees that finger coming and hold it out for her to inspect and sniff at first (and hopefully rub against to put her smell on it). Accompany it with something she does enjoy, apparently talking in a low, calm voice. Talk people talk; don't talk baby talk. Don't touch for any longer than she'll tolerate. Respect her signs that say when she'd had enough. Tail swishies is a good sign. Back ripples is another. Gauge her response to your touch by her whisker angle. If her whiskers come forward, then she's reacting positively. If they don't, then you know she isn't enjoying it. Always leave an escape route open and allow her to go if she wants to go.

Hopefully, over a course of several years, you'll make progress. Keep at it. Inside there is a cat that does like you; she just needs to know how you like it communicated.


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