# Tears for Teddy



## Speechie

Just resting here to shed some more tears for Teddy, we miss you sweet baby! I wish I had gotten the chance to see you grow into your giant feet! You had the beginnings of a beautiful winter coat and luxurious ruff, and your adult colors were still emerging. 
I am so sorry our time was cut so short, yet I am so grateful because we had 5 weeks and a glimpse of heaven when you were with us.
My heart aches, Pazu and Nick miss you. Rest in peace sweet boy, I hope you are frolicking with Mocha and Lucy in the warm sunshine chasing butterflies...
I miss you little love


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## Speechie

Miss you


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## Dicesmom

I'm sorry  he was gorgoues.

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## Heckle& jeckle

I'm so very sorry he was a stunning boy


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## Mochas Mommy

My heart breaks with you Speechie! Teddy was a beautiful baby and VERY fortunate to have found a forever home that would care for and live him during his short life and illness. I know nothing but time will heal the hurt in your heart right now. Remember him and cry healing tears for him....we are all here to support each other. When I talk to Mocha, I ask her to help Teddy and take care of him like a kitten she never had. She was a very loving, well behaved girl....I am sure your Teddy is in great paws while they watch over us! ((((Hugs)))))


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## Jetlaya67

He was such a beautiful little guy.


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## Marcia

This breaks my heart. Such a sweet boy and he brought so much love. How is your son a Pazu doing these days?


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## Speechie

Thanks, guys. 
We are doing ok, Pazu continues to be a bit more clingy, less aloof. He sleeps in Teddy's bed.every.night. :/ 
Nick is coping well, he misses Teddy and will talk about him, but I think it hurts, so he tries not to think about it too much. Today is back to school for him, and I know before the break he was telling his class about his kitten...I emailed his teacher to give her the heads up and also he has a school counselor who is very supportive, so hopefully it will be a good day. 
Just one more milestone of firsts without Teddy, you know? First school day when he gets off the bus and no Teddy here to love on. 
Pazu will greet him, but keeps his distance. He is not a kid loving cat. He is a good little companion, but not snuggly, if you know what I mean?


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## BigDaveyL

I understand about non being a snuggly cat. Our deaf can't isn't that much of a snuggler (only when we are in bed) but she is a companion.


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## Speechie

Picked up Teddy's ashes today, really opened up that well of pain again. 
They provided a beautiful little carved wooden box, clippings of his lovely fur, and a paw print cast in clay. 
I am really glad that anonymous friend prepaid for his cremation, as I could barely squeak out any words,..,tears were rolling. 
Wish I could hold him one more time...


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## 10cats2dogs

Speechie...
HUGS, Lots and Lots of them, for you and Nick...
And some gentle rubs for Pazu...
Teddy will always be held in your heart...
Hugs and Prayers


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## emilyatl

I know it's hard to pick up their ashes. But I can tell you, in time, they'll be of great comfort to you, as you'll always have Teddy close to you. (((Hugs)))


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## BigDaveyL

Speechie said:


> Picked up Teddy's ashes today, really opened up that well of pain again.
> They provided a beautiful little carved wooden box, clippings of his lovely fur, and a paw print cast in clay.
> I am really glad that anonymous friend prepaid for his cremation, as I could barely squeak out any words,..,tears were rolling.
> Wish I could hold him one more time...


That was sweet. 

My wife had to put her cat to sleep in 2012, that she found on the side of the road in 2002, and they nursed her back to health. And, while she was away from home working in the summer and alone in college, the cat was her best friend. Obviously, they had quite an attachment. 

Anyways, my wife didn't get the ashes, but the emergency vet office did take her paw prints and sent her a card with the Rainbow Bridge poem with the prints on them. That made my wife happy that they did that (especially at no charge).


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## Mochas Mommy

(((((hugs))))) Speechie and family. 
I am sure Teddy was very touched looking down to see how much you cared while picking up his ashes. I bawled my eyeballs out when I picked up Mocha's urn...could barely talk coherently. Teddy was very loved and very lucky to have had you for his short time.


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## Speechie

Mochas Mommy said:


> Teddy was very loved and very lucky to have had you for his short time.


:heart :heart
That little cat was loved so deeply, that is why his loss is so great. 

Look at Pazu in Teddy's bed...poor thing! He is going to have to wait a bit, but I hope he will enjoy a new friend someday. :heart


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## Speechie

We went to church this morning, first time since before Christmas - I was in the ER vets with Teddy on Christmas Eve,...
I stood up and shared what had happened and everyone prayed for us, for Nick, as we are grieving. Really comforting to be surrounded by empathy and prayers. 
Nick is doing ok, had a wobble yesterday, just not his usual cooperative self, and he had a meltdown while building Legos. Later on he was talking about missing Teddy...the crying had nothing to do with Legos, yk? 
Pazu is continuing to feel better, he is more clingy, snuggly, in his own way. I've been loving him up.
I miss Teddy, I long for another kitten to love, yet I am not ready. This blasted heart of mine is calling for another baby while it is still breaking! 
I look at his photos and wish I could just reach in and pick him up.


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## Mochas Mommy

(((((Hugs)))))) I know exactly how hard this is speechie....how heartbreaking and how torn between wanting a new baby and not feeling ready because it feels like they are replaceable. I admire your strength to share.


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## Jeckybeanz

I too just recently lost my Sierra to kidney failure. It broke my heart. As time passed I decided to move on I am exspecting 2 new kittens in Feb or March. I am still going to remember Sierra. I am sure if sierrA new I was getting kittens she would be happy for me since she couldn't be with me. I felt like you in the beginning wanting to be able to hold her. I am so sorry for your loss. Just give yourself sometime and you will know when your ready to have another kitty. I miss SierrA terribly. I realized I would be much happier with a new kitten and then I thought two would be fun. I send prayers your way.


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## Speechie

Thank you, mochas mommy!! Our losses were so close together, and a shock to be sure! I am glad I can process things here! not everyone gets it irl.

Jeckybeanz, I am so sorry you lost your sweet Sierra, and I am so glad you are welcoming two kitties soon!! I know when it is my turn, I will be overjoyed to meet my new baby and look forward to watching him grow. 
I am so terrified now of FIP, even though it is rare. I hope when the new kit enters my life, I will be able to relax and let myself enjoy all the precious moments without worrying. 

Pazu is more than ready, he is chomping at the bit for a new buddy, he is curled up with my husband right now, making do with his humans until he has a new buddy to love.


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## Jeckybeanz

Thanks Speechie,
Maybe it would help to go to a shelter and volunteer to help take care of the animals. I am sure you would get some love there. But I wouldn't be able to do that I would want to save them all and bring them all home..... Hope things get better for you real soon.


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## Speechie

Just missing my little love,...it has been 3 months since I last held you. 
I actually had a 'visitation' last night, out of my peripheral vision, it looked like Teddy was standing by my bureau, turned my head and he was gone....made me well up with tears,...
He will be my forever baby, the kitten that I never got to see grow up...


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## 10cats2dogs

Speechie, Sending Healing Prayers...
And Spiritual Pets for Teddy...
Hugs!
Sharon


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## Speechie

Thanks, Sharon, I am feeling a bit lost today...
Pazu and Skye are lovely, they are such good boys.
Yet I am still mourning for my kitten. I wish I could have seen him grow into his full adult beauty.
Ragdolls change colors and darken until about 2 years old, ...he was only 4 months. I so would have loved to see him in his full adult gorgeous colors and ruff...
I miss his endearing ways, his snuggly little self. The way he would perch on the edge of the shower because he couldn't bear to be away from me even when water was involved. 
The way he would sit on my feet as I did the dishes...sigh.


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## marie5890

Speechie,
HUGS, and understanding.
I know there will always be a part of me that will miss my Blues and Rhythm always. I have accepted that as part of their passing. And I am learning to have that, in a strange sort of way, be "ok". And be "ok" when the tears come....

Gentle hugs...


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## 10cats2dogs

Speechie, 
I still miss my passed kitties and doggies...
Some are years gone...and yet there are those times when memories call out and oh how I remember them and still miss them...
Hugs and Understanding...


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## jking

Speechie,

I am so sorry you didn't get to see Teddy grow up. I understand how much that hurts. 
Echo will be my forever baby too. There is a special sadness in losing a kitten, a
baby who didn't get the chance to grow up..

Sending hugs and prayers to you

Judy


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## Speechie

jking said:


> There is a special sadness in losing a kitten, a
> baby who didn't get the chance to grow up..


Thank you, that is it exactly, I have lost many cats and mourn them all. This just feels different some how.


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## Marcia

I understand. I still mourn Sam, my senior Persian. We bonded so tightly. I tear up talking about him years later.


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## Mochas Mommy

Speechie...I am so happy that Teddy found a way to visit you and let you know he is okay. I know when Mocha does that for me, I feel a deep sense of calm and I actually feel okay for a while. I also know how painful it is to ache to hold our lost fur-babies...but it is a deep comfort when they come to visit. I talk to Mocha every day and let her know I miss her and tell her stories about my day and her life with us. On our holiday, I had her photo blanket and it was on our bed every day. 

I wish I had words of wisdom to help heal that ache....hopefully these help...I know how you are feeling...I understand completely...just feel...then love!

Some day we will be reunitied with our babies...they await us and, until then, they try their best to sneak back to visit!


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