# A long time has passed...



## FamHolter (Nov 24, 2010)

...but I have never talked properly about what the decision meant to me. I want to share the story of the hardest decision of my life with you. 

It's been almost two years, but I still think of them every day, wondering, pondering. I better start at the beginning. 

I got a cat almost 10 years ago, after wanting a pet for a long time. She was a gorgeous grey tabby domestic shorthair. We had just moved into a large house, with a beautiful garden, and we installed a catflap for her. She couldn't have been happier. She ran in and out of that flap, chasing butterflies, climbing trees. We gave her birthcontrol pills, but she must have spit them out without us noticing, because she started to get bigger and bigger and bigger, and one day, her water broke. None of us had the slightest idea what to do, but we set her up a den like thing, and she had three beautiful kittens. Rambo, Speedy and Nemesis. I have always known, straight away, when I see my babies that they are made for me. The moment Speedy was born, I knew. As their mother was mine, she and the kittens stayed with me untill the kittens were given away. I begged and I pleeded, and I finally convinced my mother to let me keep Speedy. I practically raised her, she was my little speedball. 

We had no idea cats could get pregnant again so fast after giving birth, so we didn't get her spayed straight away. Which resulted in another litter. In this litter we had four - two completly black ones, Svart(which means black in Norwegian) and Sophia, and two grey tabbies, with white socks, named Aphrodite and Chuck. Little Svart was so tiny when she was born, she was the runt of the litter. That's why she got her name. We couldn't tell if she was a girl or a boy, because she was so tiny. The mother rejected her, because she was weak. So I slept on the kitchen floor for weeks, handfeeding Svart with kittymilk. She became so very special to me, and I was dreading the day I had to give her away. 

We then went away on summerholiday to my dads. Me, my brother, 4 kittens, Speedy and the mother. At this point the mother seemed to be getting tired of being a mother, so Speedy basically did all the training with them. The mother only fed them and left. After one week of our holiday, the mother ran away. I was beside myself, my little baby was gone. But I tried my best with the kittens I now had on hand all alone. As mentioned, Speedy raised them, and I started to wean them a bit earlier than planned. After two months, the mother of the litters returned to my fathers place. We had spayed her some weeks before she left, having learned from our mistakes. I was so happy to see her again, and since I was supposed to be with my father that weekend, we sent her home to my mother, where all the cat stuff were. I came home from my father place on sunday, monday evening, the mother was hit by a car. Wedensday morning, she died in my arms. I remember lying on the couch, with her lifeless little body in my arms, crying. 

After that my mother allowed me to keep Svart. As you may have understood, I had very special connections to both of them. Speedy was the single most intelligent cat, or animal, I have ever met. When I was sad, she just knew it, and she came into my room and would snuggle around my head, licking off my tears. When I went away, so did she. No one saw her the entire time I was gone, but within 5 minutes of me coming home, she was there to greet me. 

Svart was a very untrusting cat, with everyone but me. If anyone else picked her up she went mad and scratched them trying to get away. While I could do anything. Bathe her, hold her, cradle her. 

Then, almost two years ago I had to make the hardest decision of my life. My two beauties had the best life in the world. They had grown up outside, running around, hunting. Therefore I came to the conclusion I could never lock them up in a small flat, to which I was then moving. We couldn't afford to keep the house anymore, and we all had to move. SO I made the decision - if I could not find a home where they could have the same great life they had always had, with the freedom, I would put them down. I wanted the best for them, and if they couldn't get the best, they would get the ultimate freedom. I couldn't take it away from them, I couldn't bring myself to having them couped up. 

So, april 24th my two beauties were put to sleep. There's not a day gone by that I don't doubt my decision. That I don't regret it that I don't miss them. Even as I write this, I still can't stand the idea of Speedy never wiping away my tears again, or not snuggling up on the couch with my beautiful Svart. But then again, I couldn't stand the idea of my two babies not having the best life possible. 

I miss my babies so much, and if they could hear me I just want to let them know I did it for them, and that I still love to the stars and the moon and back again. 










Sleep tight, mommys little angles.


----------



## soccergrl76 (Dec 1, 2010)

I am so sorry that you had to do that. I feel the same way about my pets. I just put one of my cats down, last night. I can't stop crying or thinking about him. They are part of our families.

Shannon


----------



## Kobster (Feb 1, 2007)

Completely agree. Can't fathom a vet putting two perfectly healthy cats to sleep for such a ridiculous reason. Maybe YOU didn't know they would transition just fine, but your vet should have.


----------



## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

At one point I actually had a long post replying to this, but then I never posted it...

I think the jist of it was: Cats can adjust to living indoors, and I hope there were other extenuating circumstances behind your beautiful cats being put down other than the fact that you were moving to an indoor only location. I also found the line "I wanted the best for them, and if they couldn't get the best, they would get the ultimate freedom." somewhat disturbing. I don't really want to get into it, but I think the cats would have been happiest wherever you were. I'm sorry you felt this was the best course of action, and they sounded like wonderful cats. I can tell you really cared for them from how you described them.


----------



## FamHolter (Nov 24, 2010)

Well, thanks for making me feel like a total douche..

I never had the courage to share the full story with anyone, but I thought I could at least be honest here without being judged..


----------



## Janis (Aug 26, 2010)

You made your best decision for your own circumstances & trying to consider the lives of your cats. Only you know all the circumstances. Don't feel bad. You must have gone thru a lot of soul-searching before you came up with your decision, and I'm sure it was not made lightly. You loved your kitties, and made a decision you felt was best for them. They are running free over the bridge. If others feel it was not correct,then that is certainly their perogative, and I do not mean this as a downer, but all should remember that not all circumstances and opportunities are the same for all people & their treasured companions. I had to make a hard decision re one pet several years ago which not all may agree with, but I know in my heart it was right for him & me. I loved him dearly.


----------



## Greenport ferals (Oct 30, 2010)

A friend of my Mom's had a cat that loved being out and would only go in occasionally. This woman moved to a trailer park where cats were allowed but as indoor pets only. The cat was miserable - just miserable. She gave it a month and made the decision to put her much-loved cat down. 
Everyone who knew her was shocked. 
If she had only asked me, I would have taken the cat and it could have had a decent life in my feral colony. 

I sympathize with the OP, but this account did upset me.

Like it or not, the subject was bound to be controversial.


----------



## tigressbythetail (Dec 1, 2010)

Wow. That was hard to read. Putting our companions to sleep when they're terminally ill is a gut wrenching decision. I can't imagine the pain of making that decision for one that is healthy. 

Animals are considered property, and as such, humans can have them euthanized for any reason but that doesn't mean the Vet had to do it. He/she could have refused. I worked at an emergency vet clinic as a tech for a short while. A person brought in this beautiful blue eyed Persian and ordered her destroyed. He had inherited the cat from his mother and he didn't want the cat. We all volunteered to take her but the owner said no, she had to be put to sleep. So after the man left the cat to her fate, I pleaded withthe Vet to let me take her home. The man would never know any different since he didn't want the remains. The Vet said no. He was legally required to do as the owner requested and destroy the cat. I had to assist in the cat's euthanasia and I cried so hard I could barely see. I quit not long after that. I thought it was the perfect job for me because I loved animals so much but the reality is not everyone who owns an animal loves them like I do and I couldn't take it.


----------



## MowMow (Nov 6, 2010)

I don't think you're a douche just..uninformed.... I can't believe the vet didn't talk to you about options and alternatives.


----------

