# Ellie-neko



## thenakedorchid (Sep 15, 2010)

She was always very camera-shy:

















Hard to take a picture of her unless she was sleeping...









She was always so good around my son (who is now 4). People might criticize me for letting her into his crib, but I never worried about her in that respect. And now my son's dad, try as he might, cannot get that boy to prefer dogs over cats... no contest in his mind, cats rule, dogs drool (and he doesn't like drool).









I did manage to get a few of her awake, I wish I'd had a better camera:









Pretty green eyes...










She suffered idiomatic central vestibular disease. She would periodically lose her balance and stumble around in circles, and her eyes began to oscillate back and forth. It was so distressing to watch. We tried everything we could, short of taking a bunch of tests (thousands of dollars) that might not even tell us specifically what was wrong with her (idiomatic means no known cause). We put her on steroids, antibiotics, baby aspirin, all things prescribed by the vet. But she continued to have longer and longer episodes, and she continued to get weaker and lose weight. I kept going back and forth about whether to put her down. But she kept coming out of her episodes with such a will to live, chomping down food and determinedly stumbling around the house. I didn't know if I had a right to decide for her. How could I know whether the medications we were giving her would work? She gave up her battle about 4 months ago. To this day I can't help but wonder if I should have stopped her suffering sooner. But there's no answer forthcoming. In my heart I believe that she suffered her disease at such a relatively young age (between 8-10, not sure of her age at adoption) because I wasn't feeding her good food. I failed to transition her to a healthier diet, and her life was cut short because of it. I'm determined not to fail Sabrina (in my siggy, my new adoptee) in that respect. I know she isn't Ellie, but I feel somewhere deep in my heart that the love I give to Sabrina (and any more kitties I save down the line) will reach Ellie somehow. We are all connected. The collective feline spirit is present in all of them, and when we touch one, we touch them all.


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## Susan (Mar 29, 2010)

What a touching story. Ellie was lovely. Considering that she kept coming out of the episodes with such a determination, I'm sure I would have done the same as you if I were in your shoes. Who knows if her disease was caused by her diet, so you shouldn't feel as if you failed Ellie. Still, you're wise to move to a healthy diet for Sabrina. I hope you find solace in your memories of the good times with Ellie, along with the joy that Sabrina will bring to you and your family in the years to come.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

I'm so sorry you lost Ellie like that. It must have been a terrible period, watching her decline. It sounds like she had a great life though (getting into a crib with an infant, that's cat heaven), and congrats on adding Sabrina to the family.


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## LilRed (Jul 16, 2008)

She was so beautiful. I'm so sorry. I too believe we are all connected.


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

I'm so sorry you lost your little friend. I hope you don't continue to blame yourself. It was her illness, of course, and you did all you could. I think she had the best of care. Now, she is well and playing like a kitten where there is no sickness. You'll see her again, I believe. Many blessings.


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