# Feeling guilt after my cat died.



## weyoun782 (Mar 11, 2009)

I recently had to put my cat to sleep, he was 12 years old. he had a history of health problems, but the last month or so he had been peeing blood and it kept getting worse and worse, yet no medication had worked, and he was starting to not look like himself anymore, like he was suffering. he wouldn't eat much or drink much, and he was down to 5 pounds, when he should of weighed 12 pounds. so last thursday, thought I had to put him out of his misery and I took him to the vet and they said there was nothing they could do for him, there were no kidney stones or urinary tract infection to explain the bloodly urine. SO me and my family thought we should just put him to sleep, and we were all in the room petting and kissing him as they put him to sleep. I wept for a few days afterwards.

anyways I have been having intense feelings of guilt for putting him to sleep. Also for the first two year that I had him as a pet(he was more like a family member than a pet), I was in like 4th or 5th grade and I didn't exactly treat him all that well, but at some point around 6th grade and beyond up til now 23 years of age, I realized that I should treat with the utmost love and respect, I treated him very nicely and we became really close and in fact we were the closet in the family. But now I have also been having intense feelings of remorse for the first two years of how I treated him. 

By treating him bad I mean like making him do things that annoyed him or holding him when he didn't want to be holded.

But for ten years of his life he became like a son/brother/friend. I miss him so much, RIP Kitty Guy.


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## weyoun782 (Mar 11, 2009)

And I forgot to mention, that my cat taught me how animals should be treated, with much respect and love, cause every animal has feelings.


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## TsNewMom (Oct 2, 2008)

I'm so sorry for your loss  I have not had my cat very long and I already couldn't imagine life without her...
Your cat obviously forgave you.. I think you should concentrate on all the 'good' years you had as a caring friend than dwelling on the first years.. atback


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## Sparky (Apr 11, 2008)

I am sorry for your loss. 
It the hardest choice one has to make as a pet partner. My 14 y/o kitty had hyper thyroid and her kidneys shut down. I kept her home for a week to long. She was ready to go. I still had feelings of remorse and that maybe I'd done the wrong thing. Looking back it was the kindest thing I could have done for her. She was at peace and at rest. She is romping across the Rainbow Bridge now and having the time of her life. Dwell on the good times you had with your kitty and know she forgave you.


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

Sorry that you lost your best buddy. You did the humane thing for him. Letting a cat suffer to the end is not in the best interest of the cat. You provide love, approval and tranquility during this important time of transition to his next life. 

We all make mistakes with our cats as they journey with us. I declawed my cat in total ignorance. I still have trouble getting over the crewl act I did to him. But Ive resolved he will know my devotion, love, happiness, comfort his entire life to make it up to him. Im sure your cat felt that from you.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Welcome, and I'm sorry it is under such sad circumstances...



weyoun782 said:


> And I forgot to mention, that my cat taught me how animals should be treated, with much respect and love, cause every animal has feelings.


I am so sorry that you lost your furry-family-member. Please do not feel such remorse and guilt about how you treated him when you were a child. You were still learning what the boundaries of acceptable behavior were, and it appears by the above quote, that you and he were able to grow beyond the early years of instigation (and being held or annoyed :lol: is NOT abuse, in my opinion!) and form a very close bond together. He forgave you, evidenced by the close bond you grew to have with him, and now you need to forgive yourself. You loved this kitty and made the hardest decision that was the best thing for him, knowing it was going to hurt you. Your unselfish gift helped to release him from his failing body. You did a wonderful thing for him.
Heidi


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## Woodsman (Jan 9, 2007)

It sounds like putting him to sleep was the kindest thing you could have done and you put what was best for him above your own self-interest(wanting to hold on to him). 

Also, 4 or 5th grade. It sounds like you were both kittens at the time. Kittens roughhouse and annoy each other. That's what they do. I am sure your guilt is making it seem worse then it really was. It doesn't sound like you hurt him at all so don't over think it. You formed a strong bond over time and it sounds like you gave him a happy life. 

Soon you will be able to recall all the happy times you shared without tears.


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## weyoun782 (Mar 11, 2009)

I feel much better, every day and I grow more confident that I did the right thing and made the pain he was going through end. He will forever be in my heart. RIP Kitty Guy.

I kept thinking before he died that I would never get another cat after he goes, but I thought I am not trying to replace him, cause every cat is irreplaceable, but rather I would be giving another cat a home to live with another family. I'm thinking in a few months to adopt another little kitty. Is that wrong to think that?


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## katlover13 (Apr 15, 2008)

I can think of no better way to honor the cat who is gone then to wish for a loving relationship with another cat. It means the first cat did a good job at being a good and loving cat that you would want that special cat relationship again.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

weyoun782 said:


> I'm thinking in a few months to adopt another little kitty.
> Is that wrong to think that?


Absolutely not.
I am in the camp that feels taking in other kitties is honoring your kitty who passed away. I know our pets do not live as long as we do...so, I will keep the memory of the love for my various pets alive by loving as many cats for their lifetimes as I can _during my lifetime_.
Find a kitty who needs a home and love away!


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## Sparky (Apr 11, 2008)

Giving another kitty a home will be a wonderful way to honor your Kitty Guy! 
You are right that you can never find another kitty like Kitty Guy. Each and every kitty has its own personality and quarks. They are all special in one way or another. Our job as kitty co-habitatants is to figure out all their special traits.


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

I think it is wonderful that you want to give a homeless kitty a forever home.
I know your kitty Guy would approve. He trained you to be the great cat lover 
that you are today! He will send a kitty your way. Heck why not two! Kitten season
is at our doors. A perfect time to bring a new additions into your family. If 
I were open to a new cat Id check with a small rescue that fosters in their 
home. They know the cats and kittens personalities and are socialized in a loving atmosphere. 
You will have a new companion to journey with you in your life! :cat


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

Feeling guilt of the loss of a sweet, close furry friend is a natural part of the grieving process. It may seem hard to believe, but the joyous memories of the times you had together will overcome the pain and sadness you feel right now.
Kitty Guy forgives you, and he will guide a cat who needs your love and care to you. Also, you should know that when you are ready to adopt another kitty, that is the sweetest way honor Kitty Guy's memory and all that he taught you.
atback


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