# I miss my little guy. :(



## Princesca (Apr 27, 2009)

My 11 year old cat passed away last night from medication-related post-operative renal failure. (Or that's the emergency vet's best guess.) 

I feel like it was my fault. I took him into the vet for something that was fairly minor, probably, maybe not even an illness, and in the process, the vet discovered bladder stones, but Caesar wasn't blocked. I reasoned that it was better to do the surgery now rather than wait until it was an emergency, and I still think that was the right call, but I can't help but feeling that I inadvertantly contributed to his death.  He was always a strapping, solid, active guy, and it about broke my heart to see him go downhill the week after the surgery. He was my first pet as an adult; my husband and I got him from the shelter the year we moved in together. 

Given his penchant for chewing on power cords, I suppose it's a miracle he lived as long as he did. 

I know it stops hurting so much, eventually, but he's all I can think about right now and I just want to stop crying.


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## katlover13 (Apr 15, 2008)

I am so sorry you lost your sweet Caeser. He sounds like he was a wonderful kitty. I have been reading your other post and I know you did everything you could for him. After we let our cats go I know it is hard not to feel guilty and second guess ourselves. (I have lost two in the past year) You obviously did everything possible for your little guy and I am sure he knew he was loved.
Gentle bridge vibes to Caeser and hugs to you.


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## LilRed (Jul 16, 2008)

I read your post about Caesar and its obvious you loved him very much and did everything you could for him. Its so hard not to question and wonder "what if" no matter how we lose those we love. Be gentle with yourself while you heal. I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Princesca (Apr 27, 2009)

Thanks, all... your kind words are appreciated. I know, in time, memories of him will bring more joy than grief.

LilRed - I'm also in KY. Spencer County. Whereabouts are you?


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

Princesca, we have to let the grief out somehow. Let the tears come; it's normal. Caesar was your dear little friend, and you did what you thought was best. We trust the vet's judgment. What else can we do. God bless and give you peace.


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## Princesca (Apr 27, 2009)

Thank you... your thoughts and prayers mean a lot to me. It helps to hear from other people who've been through this. I've lost pets before, but a hamster, parakeet... nothing like this.

Today I feel more at peace. I still get sad when I remember little things, like how he used to sit in a chair at the table when my husband and I sat down to dinner, and he'd just sit there and watch the birds out the window and purr. Or how he'd always wait in between my husband and me, wherever we were in the house, so he could keep tabs on us both at once. He was my bath buddy too... whenever I'd take a bubble bath he'd hop up on the edge and sit with me. He did do that once last week - it was almost like he wanted to give me that one last time. 

I've come up with one idea to memorialize him. My husband and I have been talking about taking up geocaching to get some exercise, and I thought we could make a "beloved pet memorial cache" where people could find it and leave a photo of their dearly departed furry friends, with a little note of farewell or just memories to share written on the back.


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## my5kitties (Sep 13, 2005)

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Caeser. Do you have a picture of him you could post, if it's not too painful? He sounds like a sweetheart. atback


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## Princesca (Apr 27, 2009)

Actually, I don't have one at a URL anywhere, but he looks pretty much exactly like the kitty to the left in your sig picture, except he was all white around one eye. He had the black between his eyes, though, with some white hairs sprinkled in, and I used to love to rub him there, with long, firm strokes, like his mama probably licked him as a kitten. It'd make him purr and purr.


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