# Rescue FAIL!!!



## JustOneMore (May 4, 2012)

*sigh

I am sorely disappointed. I will admit, I saw their pics and read their stories on this site and fell in love with 2 cats, one male, one female. I fell so head over heals for them both I told myself I was rushing things and needed to think it over over night before I decided weather or not I would try to adopt both of these cats. Well one night turned into one week and everyday I checked their page and read again and again their stories. I started to wonder how they were doing or if they had already been adopted and a little part of me ached and I knew I had to adopt them if possible. 

This all happened about 3 1/2 weeks ago. On the girl (who looks to be a kitten) I emailed the rescue center and asked if she was still available. I have yet to hear from them. On the male I have emailed the foster family to ask if he were still available. I have yet to hear back from them. I talked to my friend about it (and how upset I was over it all) who decided to try things out herself. She emailed them both and got from the male's foster family that he was still available but nothing since then. She heard nothing back on the female. I have called the rescue center twice for the male and have heard nothing. They are both at different rescue centers in different states.


Apart of me still aches. In my heart they are mine and I feel broken. I didn't know rescuing could be anything like this.


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## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

I'm sorry it didn't work out (something similar happened to someone I know when they filled out a long application for a dog - never got a reply), but I think you have to consider it from the shelter's point of view. Why are you trying to adopt cats from two different states? If I was the shelter, I would be highly suspicious. They likely see it as a waste of time to reply to someone out of state/far away. They are very busy. A lot of shelters don't adopt out to people whose homes they can't inspect. I also wonder how you planned to get them? Were you going to go on a road trip to get them? What if they weren't the type of cat you'd want upon meeting them, and what if they don't get along? It's much easier two adopt cats from the same shelter, by seeing them interact there, or getting an already bonded pair. I'm positive if you take a few trips to more local shelters you'll find some cats you'll fall in love with, you'd be helping out your own community in the process.


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

For the life of me I don't understand why you feel heartbroken. No word in your email about actually _picking up the phone and CALLING and TALKING to a real person_. If you are truly that interested then do that first before crying in your beer - or juice - or pillow. Not hearing back is NOT a no. Do you have any idea how many idle requests a shelter might get?? A casual email is not true interest - they probably figure if you are truly interested you'd (GASP!) call. TRY HARDER if you really want one or both of these little guys. BTW, most shelters do not adopt out of state. CALL THEM.


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## JustOneMore (May 4, 2012)

Marcia said:


> For the life of me I don't understand why you feel heartbroken. No word in your email about actually _picking up the phone and CALLING and TALKING to a real person_. If you are truly that interested then do that first before crying in your beer - or juice - or pillow. Not hearing back is NOT a no. Do you have any idea how many idle requests a shelter might get?? A casual email is not true interest - they probably figure if you are truly interested you'd (GASP!) call. TRY HARDER if you really want one or both of these little guys. BTW, most shelters do not adopt out of state. CALL THEM.


Marcia I do not know why you are being sarcastic with me. I actually say in my first post that I called one shelter twice already. What I hadn't explained yet was that I left a message both times as prompted and have yet to hear back from them. This same message says that the voicemails are checked several times a day. This was over 3 weeks ago and I have not heard back. 

The other shelter says to contact them by email only. As of right now it is out of my hands. I can not make them answer me no matter how many times I call. 

Carmel I am sorry but I am on my way to work and will have to answer your questions on my lunch break.


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

Then I apologize, I missed the part about your actually calling. Perhaps they are very overwhelmed. Contacting a shelter by email ONLY sounds strange and precarious to me. What if the email goes down?, what if the server goes down? (as mine did here for 4 days), what if's can add up if only using email. Call them. Tell them you have tried to contact them through their preferred means but haven't been able to get through. Apologize for calling and blame it on bad advice from a crazy cat lady on the internet..
I'm a little testy about only relying on email and texts for inquiries and responses and not using the human touch when wanting a living being as a pet, so I apologize again if I over reacted - I just read your post a tad to hasitly. I do wish you the best of luck with your search.


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## Greenport ferals (Oct 30, 2010)

It is easy to fall for a cat in need through an adorable photo posted on line, but have you tried visiting your local rescue or humane society in person? You might have that once in a lifetime cat fall for _you_.


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## StrikeEagle (Aug 11, 2012)

Agrees with Greenport. Why look so far away when there are probably plenty of needy and lovely cats in your own locality.


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## CatMonkeys (Sep 27, 2012)

IMO, lusting over pictures and stories of cats online and out of state is just setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. As others have said, why can't you look for cats locally?


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## JustOneMore (May 4, 2012)

Marcia said:


> Then I apologize, I missed the part about your actually calling. Perhaps they are very overwhelmed. Contacting a shelter by email ONLY sounds strange and precarious to me. What if the email goes down?, what if the server goes down? (as mine did here for 4 days), what if's can add up if only using email. Call them. Tell them you have tried to contact them through their preferred means but haven't been able to get through. Apologize for calling and blame it on bad advice from a crazy cat lady on the internet..
> I'm a little testy about only relying on email and texts for inquiries and responses and not using the human touch when wanting a living being as a pet, so I apologize again if I over reacted - I just read your post a tad to hasitly. I do wish you the best of luck with your search.


I accept your apologize. Glad we worked that out. Sorry if I sound like I'm throwing a pity party but I imagined this turning out differently and I don't know what to do. I don't have much experience in rescue.


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## jadis (Jul 9, 2011)

I work in rescue and the one I work with will not adopt to people out of state, primarily because if it doesn't work out, we want it to be easy for the cat to be returned to us and not have to arrange another transport, and also because we do home checks. That's probably why you haven't heard back, though I can't speak for why no one has emailed to tell you. Rescues vary greatly, some have physical locations, some operate out of a network of foster homes, some are highly organized and well funded, and a few are one man operations that end up resembling hoarders.

I would try a local rescue or shelter. Sooo many cats are put down in shelters, that's where I would start. Just stop in or look on petfinder, or if you find a good local rescue, find out where they have adoption events (ours are Saturdays at Petco) and stop by in person to talk to volunteers and meet cats.


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## JustOneMore (May 4, 2012)

Carmel said:


> I'm sorry it didn't work out (something similar happened to someone I know when they filled out a long application for a dog - never got a reply), but I think you have to consider it from the shelter's point of view. Why are you trying to adopt cats from two different states? If I was the shelter, I would be highly suspicious. They likely see it as a waste of time to reply to someone out of state/far away. They are very busy. A lot of shelters don't adopt out to people whose homes they can't inspect. I also wonder how you planned to get them? Were you going to go on a road trip to get them? What if they weren't the type of cat you'd want upon meeting them, and what if they don't get along? It's much easier two adopt cats from the same shelter, by seeing them interact there, or getting an already bonded pair. I'm positive if you take a few trips to more local shelters you'll find some cats you'll fall in love with, you'd be helping out your own community in the process.


The shelter at this point doesn't know anything about me. They've never contacted me back. They don't know I'm trying to adopt 2 cats right now. I've not even turned in an application. And when I contacted them both I didn't know if either was available. I still don't know if the girl is available but her page is still up on the site I talked about so I'm just assuming for now that she is. 

I don't know what my options are for adopting out of state. I had hoped they would be able to send them to me as I've heard of this before. But I am open to getting them both If I need to. The boy is a 441 mile drive from home and the girl is 635 miles from me. At this point I would make the drive If I needed to but they don't know that because they haven't contacted me back. Even if they needed someone to inspect my home they could have a local rescue do it, it's been done before. 

This is not about having any cat, this is about having the cats I've already made a connection with. I'm not going to go get any old cat from a shelter, but thanks for your advice.  Also I would be devastated if I took on to much by getting a cat locally only to have them contact me back afterwards, when my hands are full and I can not reasonably say yes.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Think back to the story behind your avatar. It just means that there are other cats/kittens who need a good home more than the ones you're posting about. It'll all work out. 

I'm so glad I got my bratz instead. :grin:


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## Arianwen (Jun 3, 2012)

Hope this works out for you - but, if not, there are other cats out there that will suit you.

Many years ago, there was a major rescue of beagles from a research centre. The RSPCA said they were looking for experienced home.

I applied and had a letter saying they were not adopting in Wales because it was too far. I wrote back saying that I knew some of the pups were in a specific location not that far from me. I did get a letter of apology but not even a hint of being able to adopt - by then it was probably too late. I ahd ticked every box in what they were supposedly looking for and I was gutted.

A few weeks later a wonderful dog was thrown from a moving car and was found covered in frost and with a broken pelvis and was taken in by a totally local group. They knew me and asked for help in finding him a home. He turned out to be one of my "forever" pets. The same sort of thing might easily happen to you but with a cat.


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## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

JustOneMore said:


> I don't know what my options are for adopting out of state.


You probably don't have many, or any options, especially if you are not physically at the shelter to adopt the cat. Adopting out of state, I would imagine, is very rare. I haven't really heard of it.

I understand the appeal of some cats when looking online, I've often checked Petfinder and thought "Wow! Look at all the pretty cats in Washington!" Which is across the border and in the USA... somehow, Washington gets all the cool looking cats. Could I take a road trip and possibly be allowed to adopt a cat? It could happen. Realistically? I know it'll never happen, I know I'm only interested in how the cat looks more than anything and that I'll end up with one I've found locally, and it may not be as pretty or with a cool back story, but in the end that's inconsequential.

Finding travel accommodations for a cat, the extra expense of that, making sure adopter gets the cat, the stress of travel for the cat, not meeting the adopter in real life, not having the adopter meet the cat before adopting, not inspecting the home, the transfer of funds, how the person would return the cat if it didn't work out... all of these would be reasons I can think of that most shelters would not allow this. Breeders allow this, this is often how they can find homes for their cats, and their contracts and the expense of the cat factor into the notion that the cat is going to a good home. Shelters work more locally, and cats in some places are practically being given away; it's hard enough ensuring they're going to a good home locally.



JustOneMore said:


> his is not about having any cat, this is about having the cats I've already made a connection with. I'm not going to go get any old cat from a shelter, but thanks for your advice.  Also I would be devastated if I took on to much by getting a cat locally only to have them contact me back afterwards, when my hands are full and I can not reasonably say yes.


I didn't say it was about any cat, but a connection to a picture and story isn't the same as meeting a kitty in real life. When you look in a shelter you wouldn't be adopting "any old cat", you would be adopting a cat you have spent time with and feel has made a connection to you. If needed, you may go back several times to ensure you're choosing the right one (provided it doesn't get adopted while you're deciding).


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## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

And I wanted to add that I don't think you'd be devastated if you happened to be contacted by these unresponsive rescues after already getting a cat, you'd already have one you love, too bad for them but you'd already be happy with the cat you have. Also, getting cat from a local shelter is a pretty involved process, it shouldn't be about walking in and out with a cat, it could take a few weeks or even months of searching before finding the cat you want. If you haven't heard back from the rescues that are out of state in that amount of time then they aren't interested and in all likelihood have adopted out the kitties.


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

JustOneMore said:


> I accept your apologize. Glad we worked that out. Sorry if I sound like I'm throwing a pity party but I imagined this turning out differently and I don't know what to do. I don't have much experience in rescue.


Ha!, me too. I over-reacted and largely based my reaction on a phone call I got from my son who said he tried to reach me several times recently. Our email server was down (Cox) for several days so my email was out. I asked him if he considered actually picking up the phone and (gasp) calling me??? Anyways, next time I'll read more carefully and not let my knee jerk through my mouth.

Since our 16 yo Winnie was put down last week, (I adopt old cats that often don't live very long), I frequently cruize the online shelter sites. I'm already looking for another life to save. This week, 4 of the 4 cats I'm considering online have already been adopted, one was totally misrepresented on PetFinder. I went to Animal Control yesterday and fell in love with about 12 kitties - all beautiful and every one under 3 years old - not quite old enough for me, though.


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

Carmel said:


> You probably don't have many, or any options, especially if you are not physically at the shelter to adopt the cat. Adopting out of state, I would imagine, is very rare. I haven't really heard of it.
> 
> I understand the appeal of some cats when looking online, I've often checked Petfinder and thought "Wow! Look at all the pretty cats in Washington!" Which is across the border and in the USA... somehow, Washington gets all the cool looking cats. Could I take a road trip and possibly be allowed to adopt a cat? It could happen. Realistically? I know it'll never happen, ....


This is very true. I was talking to a friend that ran a shelter and she said they do not adopt out of the area because in the event a cat has to be returned for whatever reason, the adopter needs to be close or the cat can get rehomed or dumped because it's inconvenient. Most shelters will not adopt out of area. Plus for the shelter they want to be able to spot monitor with a visit to be sure the cat was the right fit.

Justonemore: limit your searchs to local shelters. Go to the SPCA or Animal Control shelter. I went yesterday and there were cats that I had seen on websites that were so much more beautiful than their picture and bio depicted. Face to face is really so much better.


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## BigDaveyL (Jun 26, 2012)

Carmel said:


> You probably don't have many, or any options, especially if you are not physically at the shelter to adopt the cat. Adopting out of state, I would imagine, is very rare. I haven't really heard of it.
> 
> I understand the appeal of some cats when looking online, I've often checked Petfinder and thought "Wow! Look at all the pretty cats in Washington!" Which is across the border and in the USA... somehow, Washington gets all the cool looking cats. Could I take a road trip and possibly be allowed to adopt a cat? It could happen. Realistically? I know it'll never happen, I know I'm only interested in how the cat looks more than anything and that I'll end up with one I've found locally, and it may not be as pretty or with a cool back story, but in the end that's inconsequential.
> 
> ...


I agree with you here.

Check your local shelters and rescues.

I got both of my cats during a "free" day because the local humane society was over run with cats. I did make a substantial donation to them anyways. 

The cost and stress will be less for all involved.


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## Blakeney Green (Jan 15, 2013)

JustOneMore said:


> This is not about having any cat, this is about having the cats I've already made a connection with. I'm not going to go get any old cat from a shelter, but thanks for your advice.


I hope you understand that I'm not saying this to criticize you, only trying to speak as the voice of experience - but bonding with a cat's picture and story is very different from bonding with a cat face to face. All cats have quirks and different ways of being demanding that can really take you by surprise and throw you for a loop. That pretty face can conceal serious behavioural problems; on the flip side, the plainest cat in the shelter may be the most loving pet you could ever want. There's no way to be sure you will click with a particular cat aside from spending time with him or her.

I don't think anyone is suggesting that you settle for a cat you feel no bond with or have no interest in caring for; that wouldn't be a good thing for either you _or_ the cat.

What I hear people saying is more that adopting a cat based on a picture and story is a bit like marrying someone based on their online dating profile. Not to say it could never work out, but there's going to be a lot of missing information about how compatible you actually are.

I would also strongly caution you against thinking of any cat as yours before the paperwork is signed and you bring them home. You can set yourself up for tremendous heartache that way. Even if the cat is available, you may not be chosen, or the rescue organization may decide that your home doesn't have the resources to support the cat's special needs, or the foster home may decide to keep the cat as a permanent family member, or in rare cases the cat may even become unadoptable or die before you can bring him or her home.

I know feeling a bond can happen easily and isn't always preventable even if you wanted to. (There's a cat I saw at an adoption event a few months ago that I still think about, but for various reasons me not adopting her was the right decision for all involved, including the cat herself.) I also think you have to be a bit realistic, though, that a cat isn't yours until the cat _is_ yours.

I wish you well in finding your new pet.


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## BigDaveyL (Jun 26, 2012)

From my experience...

We felt very bonded to Gadget, but not to the other kittens in his cage. He was very sweet and cuddled and played with us (i.e. he was batting a my gf's jewelry and hair and then fell asleep in our arms).

Oreo was a scared kitty, but warmed up to us. She let us hold her and then eventually calmed down and started purring. She was already declawed, which we are not a fan of, and originally didn't want that but she is very shy but very sweet. She comes around and loves to get petted and she loves to play. She is also a very pretty kitty.


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## Nan (Oct 11, 2010)

I would second and third the opinions given that you should go to your local shelter(s) and look. A couple years ago my long-time cat companion had te be put to sleep.

I had been wanting to do a kitchen renovation & decided it was the perfect time to do that when I was catless. But I still looked online and felt a connection with several cats that I saw. I was not going to be able to adopt for a few months because of my decision about the renovation. 

I looked at my local humane society's webpage at least weekly and saw a bunch of cute cats. They had a bonded pair (torties) that were fostered out at a different location. I was just _sure_ that these were going to be my cats. When the time came, I went to the humane society. These 2 cats were there. One of them wouldn't give me the time of day; the other was quite shy but cute. I was kind of disapointed that I didn't feel a connection; though they were still "possibles". I visited 3 times. I looked at practically every cat they had. I also saw another long haired adorable cat and talked to someone about her. The 3rd time I asked if they had any bonded cats and was introduced to _my_ cats. It was definatly love at first site when I saw Harli. She was so friendly! My former cat was a grey tiger tabby, and when I saw Lily it felt too good to be true; I fell in love with her too.


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## JustOneMore (May 4, 2012)

Blakeney Green said:


> I hope you understand that I'm not saying this to criticize you, only trying to speak as the voice of experience - but bonding with a cat's picture and story is very different from bonding with a cat face to face. All cats have quirks and different ways of being demanding that can really take you by surprise and throw you for a loop. That pretty face can conceal serious behavioural problems; on the flip side, the plainest cat in the shelter may be the most loving pet you could ever want. There's no way to be sure you will click with a particular cat aside from spending time with him or her.
> 
> I don't think anyone is suggesting that you settle for a cat you feel no bond with or have no interest in caring for; that wouldn't be a good thing for either you _or_ the cat.
> 
> ...


I think your right and I've learned through this process that rescuing is A LOT different then buying from a breeder (which i am very much used to). I should not have let myself get so tangled on them so fast. I'm not the type to fall so easily but there were just certain things I read about them that made me feel connected to them. I don't know if I'm made for rescuing either. I guess the future will tell.

ETA - Also, I don't think your criticizing me or being mean. I think you were very nice in saying where I went wrong. Thank you for your input.


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## JustOneMore (May 4, 2012)

marie73 said:


> Think back to the story behind your avatar. It just means that there are other cats/kittens who need a good home more than the ones you're posting about. It'll all work out.
> 
> I'm so glad I got my bratz instead. :grin:


Thanks for your kind words. The thing is that you know what happened to those kittens. I don't feel closure with my situation. I feel like I gave my heart away and lost it. 


*UPDATE​*
I finally heard back from the shelter with the female cat. She has already been adopted out. I felt a little disappointed but mostly happy for her. It sounded like she went to a really great home and so that makes me happy. 

I've still not heard back from the shelter with the male cat. I've made up my mind for now that I'm not even going to consider rescuing again until I figure out what happened to him or that I'm not allowed to adopt him. I do have a family member in his area and I've been considering contacting them to get ahold of this shelter. If it comes to it, I'll do it, but for now I'm waiting and trying to do what I can from here. 

Thank you everyone for your words of advice.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

JustOneMore said:


> Thanks for your kind words. The thing is that you know what happened to those kittens. I don't feel closure with my situation.


Actually, I don't. By the time the shelter got back to me about them, I had already met and fell in love with the twinz. I'm sure they found a great home, but I was mostly sad because they'd probably be split up.

The right cats will find their way to your home, and your heart.


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## JustOneMore (May 4, 2012)

marie73 said:


> Actually, I don't. By the time the shelter got back to me about them, I had already met and fell in love with the twinz. I'm sure they found a great home, but I was mostly sad because they'd probably be split up.
> 
> The right cats will find their way to your home, and your heart.


Thanks Marie.


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## ezmeray (Nov 8, 2012)

JustOneMore said:


> ... This is not about having any cat, this is about having the cats I've already made a connection with. I'm not going to go get any old cat from a shelter, but thanks for your advice. ...


I don't know.. I don't really think there is any such thing as just 'any old cat', I think all cats are special and deserve equally loving homes.

I first saw my cat at a local health fair, the humane society had a few cats there, and my family saw her, and had to have her (we hadn't even planned on it, but some things just work out when you least expect).

also,
Marcia: I think it's amazing that you only adopt older/adult cats. That's what I plan to do eventually when I have my life settled (after finally finishing my education, and settling in one location for good). Older cats have so much life and love, and deserve to be loved and adopted, vs just the kittens and young cats finding homes.


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## MyBabiesDaddy (Jan 1, 2013)

I have to agree with other posters who said that you need to meet the cat face to face. When we decided to get a companion to my Cuddles I went to the shelter and spend 2 hours just watching the cats interact. I saw an absolutely adorable little kitten who was mushy and lovable, but she hissed at a few other cats, which concerned me. Then I saw my Simba, who was just a playful and naughty little thing, and although he barely gave me the time of day, I knew he'd be a great playmate/companion to my Cuddles. Plus, since he wasn't "special" looking, we felt he might have a harder time getting adopted. Cuddles and Simba are now best friends, and as an added bonus, Simba is mushy and a purring machine the second we walk by him!! Go to a shelter, meet the cats, and see who makes you swoon, and pick him/her!


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## maggie23 (Mar 10, 2012)

i haven't read all the posts on this thread, but i would recommend along with some of them that it would be a great idea to visit some shelters in your local area before adopting these 2 from different states. there are SO many kitties in need in all of our own "backyards." they need love just as much as any other and you might just find 2 you completely fall for AND get along with each other. 

if you adopt these 2 who have never met before and it turns out they don't like each other, it could be a tough situation. there are a lot of kitties out there who are considered BONDED and shelters will prefer or even insist that they be adopted together.

good luck in your future role as a cat slave. it's so rewarding!


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