# Why does my cat groom my kitten before biting & other intro questions



## Kittybuns (Sep 19, 2012)

Hi everyone! Warning, this is long because I'm trying to give lots of background info.

So my sweet little 9 week old baby Purrcy Poundcake has been home for a week and a half. So far I give kitten ownership an A+! Purrcy has completely wormed his way into my heart and I love him to bits. He is a very bold, playful, sweet little purr monster. 

Declan, our 3 year old very friendly, outgoing cat who has a history of getting along well with other cats (including kittens), has mixed feelings about Purrcy so far. We've been going pretty slowly (I think?) and have (in chronological order): switched sleeping blankets between them every day, let them explore each others territories when the other cat was not there (Purrcy is being kept in a bedroom Declan didn't usually go into before), had them play with toys together underneath a door, fed Declan outside the bedroom door, fed Declan outside Purrcy's crate in the bedroom (I'm actually still doing this one every night), and let Declan explore the bedroom while Purrcy was in the crate. Declan's also seen us holding Purrcy on many occasions and Deckie's been getting tons of praise and treats. 

Two days ago (so we're on day 3 of this), we started letting Declan in the bedroom with Purrcy out of the crate so they could play and I've supervised the whole time. We've had a couple of sessions a day, first about 10 minutes, then 20, then several 30 minute ones. Purrcy definitely likes Declan (he is not a shy kitten), Declan seems to have mixed feelings. Last night he finally started playing in the bedroom and they've even played with the same toy several times (this one). This morning, Declan finally played with the laser pointer with Purrcy! I can tell Declan was nervous at first and has definitely relaxed more with each session and will even groom himself some now. He does want to come in to play with Purrcy, but gets annoyed with him and wants to leave sometimes. I let him leave if he wants to.

So, overall Declan is pretty good with Purrcy, but Purrcy annoys him in typical kitten fashion. He pounces on him some, gets in his face, goes after his tail... Declan handles it pretty well, but sometimes makes an unhappy meow at him and has swatted him a couple of times or kind of fake bitten him. It seems clear from Purrcy's actions that it doesn't hurt him, so I haven't interfered because I figure Purrcy needs to learn good kitten manners! He does tend to stay away from Declan for a minute or two after Declan acts annoyed, and he's not constantly pestering or anything. He plays with other toys and me and runs around doing crazy kitten things.

Anyway, all that background to ask a couple of questions! First, should I have intervened in the following situation? Purrcy came up to Declan, who had a ribbon toy on his head (Purrcy's favorite toy), and Declan let out an annoyed meow, then grabbed Purrcy around the neck and kind of bit his face (not hard) while bunny kicking him. Purrcy didn't cry out or anything, but this looked really intense so I grabbed Purrcy away. Didn't say anything or scold, just pulled him away. Declan let go freely and then acted fine, and Purrcy didn't seem upset. Did I do the right thing? Was this actually much more serious than it appeared?

Then there's something odd that Declan does. He groomed Purrcy on the head once yesterday, and then probably on 5 different occasions today. Purrcy will come over, and Deckie will just start licking his head and ears. Cute, but the problem is that Declan ALWAYS then makes an annoyed meow at him (even though Purrcy is seriously doing nothing except lying there getting licked), and the last time he did this today, he ended it by biting Purrcy on the head! It looked like a real bite, not the little mock ones he's been doing. Purrcy made a small sound of displeasure and I looked him over for injury but didn't see anything. Why is Declan grooming him and then biting?! 

I only have a couple of pictures of them playing together, but coincidentally, one of the pictures was taken about two seconds before the above incident when Declan was grooming Purrcy and then bit him on the head. What does this photo tell you?



And for the heck of it, the other photo I took today was them playing with the mouse toy. Declan walloped Purrcy (not seriously) a few seconds after this photo was taken, too. 



Then one more just because: Declan flopped on the floor while Purrcy was running around. What does his body language show? Keeping in mind that Deckie does not like the flash on the camera, I think that's why he looks a little reluctant- he knew it was going to flash!



So, thoughts about all of this? How am I doing with this intro business? Are things going okay or am I doing too much too soon, is Declan really mad at Purrcy? Declan is our first cat and I still don't know that much about cat behavior, even


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

I wouldn't say Declan is mad, but he trying to show Percy that he's boss, and when he's playing with the mousie toy he doesn't want to share, so a bop on the head and bite is his way of saying he doesn't want to share and/or play with him. I wouldn't separate them because to me this is normal kitten and older cat behavior. If Percy goes too far for Declan he will bite harder until Percy gets the point that he doesn't want to be bugged. Even a momacat will discipline her kittens by a bop on the head and or/neck bite followed by some grooming on the head. As long as Percy is not getting hurt (bite hard enough to draw blood) it's nothing to worry about as it's all normal cat behavior. Just relax or walk out of the room, if it bothers you.


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## BrittyBear (Feb 4, 2014)

My cats do this to this day still, and they are 4 years old. Save Ashes, who is one. I agree with catloverami, he is trying to teach Purrcy what is tolerable and what isnt. Theres been a few times when Ashes went and laid by Mystery and wanted to play. Mystery didnt, he would grab Ashes with his paws and lick his head then bite him, then lick him again. Each time he bit harder, until Ashes would walk away. Mystery does it with Shadow too if he feels Shadow is crowding him for too long. Its just him pretty much saying "hey, back off a bit okay? I dont want to play with you right now" so long as theres no blood i think you're fine ^_^

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## Kittybuns (Sep 19, 2012)

Just a little update! Things seem to have worked themselves out. Last night we moved Purrcy's crate into the living room (Declan's territory). I put him back in when I went to bed (which ended up being a good thing, Declan got into the pantry because my husband forgot to lock the door!), but he's spent the rest of the time out running around with Declan. They've been having lots of fun playing and chasing each other and stuff! It's so cute! Declan very clearly likes Purrcy now, I've never seen him so playful before, it's like he's a kitten again. He hasn't been biting or smacking Purrcy barely at all so far, either!


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## BrittyBear (Feb 4, 2014)

Yay congrats! I'm so happy they are getting along well now 

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## vonPruescnek (Dec 18, 2012)

Very cute kitties! I'm glad things are working out.


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## Kittybuns (Sep 19, 2012)

Another update! Things are still going well, the cats definitely like each other. About once a day I have to intervene because Declan gets too rough with Purrcy and makes him cry. It's scary seeing Declan grab on to Purrcy and chomp his belly hard! Every time it happens, it's again when Declan is grooming him. Hopefully Declan will get the idea that it's not okay to hurt Purrcy. We praise him lots when he's good with Purrcy. The times he gets too rough (only if Purrcy makes an upset sound and Declan doesn't back off), I clap my hands or yell (to make him let go of Purrcy) and then scoop up Purrcy to give him lots of love/look him over for injury, and ignore Declan for a while.

Good news is he doesn't get rough with Purrcy every time he grooms him- sometimes he just licks him and that's it- and they love playing together and looking out the window together  Haven't seen them snuggle yet but I'm sure that will happen!


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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

KittyBuns,
Try an empty soda can with a few pennies in it to distract Declan if he seems to be getting a little to rough with Purrcy!
Better than yelling and since it's a specific sound you can use at the time, it might help him catch on quicker!


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