# My cat viciously attacked me, extreme cat agression.



## babyslim (11 mo ago)

Hello everybody, “English is not my mother tongue, so please excuse me for any mistakes I might commit in it.

It is going to be a long post, because I do not know what to do, and I have limited options where I live.
I am at the end of my hopes, everything. We have a long history of extreme aggression by this cat.

We live in an small apartment with my husband, both he and I have had several cats through our lives. Last year I found a sick cat where I work, she was one to two months old, tuxedo cat. She used to had an eye problem, we were about to lose her eye. She was a bit anxious cat, but she always used to purr and be lovely.

On a long medication history, she got well at the end. But about 8-12 months she started to get into heat continuously.

Her vet refused to spay her due to her weakened immunity. On the other hand, it was unbearable for us, she used to scream all night long for weeks, without giving any pause.

Than we changed the vet, and her new wet said that we can spay her and did the surgery.

After the surgery, because she used cone, lost her balance fell down somewhere and broke her leg.

No surgery was needed but her feet needs to be wrapped. After all, she got well.

1st attack episode

So, now I come to the point. One day, my husband saw our cat swallowed a small piece of plastic bag, my hubby took her to vet. Vet gave an oxygentaed water to her.

Meanwhile because of the cat, we started to argue with my husband because of the cat. I started to cry and yell, and I am sorry to say this, I start to hit and and shake my husband.

Suddenly, my cat came towards me and attacked me viciously in the kitchen, which is a very narrow place.

Several scratches and bites, which were serious, I needed to be hospitalized for the attack. No need to say that my husband was my cat ‘s favorite person, and the one she trusts.

Following the attack we found a cat behaviourist, he recommended some adaptadations in our house, but as I mentioned in the beginnig our apartment is very small, so the things that we can do is limited. We started to use felliway, and we added some boxes in order to catify the house. Also we put her to prozac.

And every evening I played with her using an cat to fishing pole.

2nd attack epsiode

One night my phone rang, I had a very very good news, and start to cry because of happiness. My husband and I was in the kitchen again. He also got happy and we got very close. The cat was very near of us, she start to show agression signs, My husband warned me and I left the place. Unfortunately, my husband moved towards the cat to calm her down, and the attacked happened again.

The second attack was very very serious , she started to pee and poo and could not get to normal even after two days.

This time she was very angry with my husband. When he sees her start to hiss and get mad.

She was ok with me, but when she sees the husband, she was getting mad.

3rd attack episode.

We took her to her vet behaviorist (he lives in another city) and she stayed there for 40 days. We take back her yesterday, and bring back to our house.

She was extremely lovely, and good to my husband. She was so so ok.

But than suddenly she saw my husband in the hallway suddenly, and start to hiss and tried to attack...

Now I closed her in a small room with food and toilet. She stayed in the room for the night.

Could you give me some advice, desperately I need and advice. How my husband and her could establish the bonds again? Is it possible?


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

I will be kind of blunt and honest with you here. I am not blaming you or trying to make you feel bad, in fact quite the opposite, but I think that a few things really need to be faced here. 

It sounds to me as if you and your husband have created a very stressful environment for this cat. You have never done anything on purpose to stress him, you are just living your lives. But the facts are: 
your cat attacked because the two of you were physically violent and she was terrified and angry and wanted it to stop. This created an atmosphere of fear for her, because it might happen again. And it has happened again, from her point of view.

When she saw the two of you close together and emotional it triggered that fear and she immediately thought more violence would happen so she tried to make it go away by attacking again. 

Then....You sent her away for over a month, which is a very long time for a cat, and maybe she felt safer and settled down, only to be moved again back into the stressful environment. And then you punish her by shutting her into the bathroom. From the perspective of this cat, she is in a terrible place where she cannot relax and if she tries to stop the thing that terrifies her she is punished. Clearly she is very unhappy.

The thing is that the cat doesn't need a behaviorist, let along to go and live with one. What the cat needs, as do all animals, is a non-threatening environment. _This cat is not aggressive! _She is terrified and trying to protect herself by attacking the "monster" that frightens her.

If you and your husband are going to argue, fight, get physical and so on, this cat will react. And apparently this is how you live, and I am not criticizing you for that, because we each have out own way to handle conflict. But this is not a cat who is the queen of mellow and will sleep through the turmoil. Now it appears she is so traumatized that she is reacting just to the sight of your husband. She is afraid of your husband and triggered when she sees him. She is not mad at him or being aggressive, she is scared, as I said above. So she hisses to keep him at a distance. 

In my opinion the best thing you can do for this cat is find her a new home where things are calm and peaceful. I don't think things will improve for her if she stays with you because she is traumatized and every time that the two of you start to express any strong emotion she will be triggered, and every time she is triggered things will get worse for her. 

This is unfair to you and to the cat as well. She needs to be somewhere else where things are calm, and you do not need to have a terrified animal around adding to the stress of your life. Please find her a new home. I wish you and the cat the best.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

I think the same. If only I can get back to that moment.
Now I try to be calm, my husband tries to be calm.
But nothing works.
It would be the very best re-home her, but this is not an option where I live.
Now we are looking for a new bigger house to have a fresh start...


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

May I ask why it is not an option to re-home the cat?
If nothing is working, even though you try to be calm, does that mean that you don't really succeed in being calm, or does it mean you are calm but the cat is still stressed out?

A bigger house, while giving more room for the cat to retreat and hide, is not going to change your relationship nor the way that you and your spouse handle conflict.

It's virtually impossible to change your habit of being loud or physical overnight, and that is the only thing that would make it possible for this cat to continue to live with you and have an appropriate environment. A larger house won't help, unless your and your husband's behavior changed completely. And even then, it would take a long time (months? years? I do not know) for the cat to come around to being OK in his presence again. It is even possible that the cat would never again trust the presence of your husband, because cats can be like that.

I think that if you give it a good try, ask people you know, put up an ad, maybe, then you can find the cat a new home. It's worth a try, anyway. For the sake of the cat, she needs to be in a different home.


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## miscellaneous (May 24, 2021)

I believe your cat is under a lot of stress, and cats often lash out at anyone around them when they are nervous, so you and your husband must remain calm especially in her presence. I'd suggest, as least for a while, that your husband has no interaction with her until everybody calms down a bit. If she hisses or looks scared when she sees him, have him walk away with no eye-contact or talking. 

Putting your cat in a separate room could increase her anxiety and make things worse. You could spend time with your cat just by yourselves for a while with petting, playing, feeding, and treats. After a while, your husband could give her meals or treats, but no further interaction. When your cat calmly accepts food from him, he could try to play with her. If that happens, he could gently pet her. Do this slowly and only move on to the next step only when your cat appears completely comfortable with the last one.

I hope it all works out well for you.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

Well, when we took her to home yesterday, after she had stayed in the vet for a month. She was cuddly, extremely sweet to my husband, and she has accepted food from him slept his nap. She followed him everywhere.

Until she sees her in the hallway of the house.... 
Than she starts to shout and hiss. My husband got back to his room.

Then after a while she entered her room, start to scream and hiss towards inside of the room.

I can not predict her reactions, and I really don't know why her mood changed so drastically.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

It would be great to re home her, but where I live the cats live in the streets, and nobody nobody wants to take a cat with attack history.
I am aware that this cat can build a new relationship in a new house.
Here, people are leaving their cats in streets, when they encounter a problem with the cat.
I will of course try to put up ad, but I just try to say that there is 0.0001 % chance to re-home her.


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## miscellaneous (May 24, 2021)

Something in the hallway or in the room may have reminded her of a bad experience, or the hallway may be too narrow for her to share the same space with somebody, or the hall and the room may have an odor to it she doesn't like. You could clean the hallway and room with a good detergent, and walk down the hall and enter the room in a calm manner. If she enters the room and starts to hiss or yowl, ignore her until she's quiet, and the moment she's quiet, give her praise followed by a treat. It doesn't seem like this behavior will go away on its own, so both you and you husband need to help her to calm down. Be patient and consistent, because it may take a while, but a stress-free home may make you all much happier.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

Yes In the second episode attack, she hissed my husband and peed many times over there in one night. I cleaned there, but she might be remembering the event.
That 's why I think I need to move from this house, which consists of small halliways (kitchen is the same)


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## miscellaneous (May 24, 2021)

Cats need space just like people do, so if moving is an option, it may help all of you to be more relaxed. If not, you could keep your home as neat as possible, because too much clutter especially in a small space can make us stressed. 

Meanwhile, you could try putting another litterbox in the area where she pees and see if that helps. Also, you could try playing with her in the hallways running up and down with a wand toy or string, so she associates the halls and the other rooms with a pleasant experience.


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

I strongly suspect the peeing was from fear, in which case another litter box will not change anything. If a cat is extremely frightened, the bladder will let go, just as it does for many other mammals. 

About re-homing her: I wouldn't say that this cat has "an attack history". I would simply say to people that she can get very stressed out if there is chaos or violence or loud noise, and needs a stress-free environment. This cat is not aggressive, as I have said before. She is only trying to protect herself from what she sees as a highly dangerous situation.

The fact that you have this cat means that some people where you live keep cats, even though traditionally they live on the streets. What you need to do is find another person like yourself who wants to keep a cat in their home. Might not be easy, but worth trying, so I am glad you are trying to find that for her.

Although the advice miscellaneous has is good advice, and worth doing if you want to keep the cat, I see this as a situation that would be best solved by the cat being in a different home, because she is very traumatized and it is a difficult and lengthy process to overcome that much trauma and how it is affecting her. Her physical health will be affected by this as well, because repeated trauma causes many medical problems. By repeated trauma I don't mean that your husband is repeatedly traumatizing her, but rather that she is clearly triggered by his presence.

However you decide to manage this I wish you luck. You obviously care about this cat or you wouldn't be here asking for advice. Please let us know how it is going and we will do out best to support you.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

Well, I will put some ads, but no hope at all. It is like a lottery, if they back to ad. Because outside is full of stray cats.
And I also think that this cat will be great with another home, she can restructure her world with her new owners.
But, What if the incident happens again in the new home ? They will leave her to the streets... where I find her....
I will definetly update here, about the results.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

I bought a clicker, now we are exericising in hallway with her favorite food. After exercising with clicker, for few weeks, do you think that can I introduce my husband to her again in the hallway?
For instance after few weeks exercising with clicker, my husband opens the door and appears in the hallway ? 
Or he takes the clicker and gives her food?


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

By the way the pee and the poops were of course of extreme fear. It happened all night long, when he saw my husband in hallway...
Than we took her to the vet (which is four hour by driving) and stayed there more than a month.

Attached are some wounds.. I have others of course:/


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

I think that you are to be commended for being willing to work with this cat and not just putting her outside again as no doubt many others would where you are. This is not a condemnation of other people where you live, as I am familiar with the cat culture in your country and many outside cats are fed and appreciated and cared for, they just are not house cats or pets. Your cat is lucky to have you.

The clicker is a great cat training tool, just as it is for dogs. If you want some really great cat training advice, please look up Jackson Galaxy on YouTube. He is currently the foremost cat advice person on the internet.

The thing to remember when re-conditioning an animal is this:
It takes TIME and it takes a LOT of patience. You have to do everything in baby steps, and by that I mean the smallest possible steps, especially when the animal has been traumatized.

So rather than thinking that in a few weeks you can try having your husband in the hallway or even in an open door, judge the timing for that by how the cat seems to be. Before you get to that point, the cat needs to be relaxed and feeling pretty comfortable in your home, and just seeing your husband nearby (not in the hallway). And needs to be calm and comfortable in the hallway without seeing your husband. This might be a few weeks or it could be months or it could be only a couple of weeks.

Once the cat seems more relaxed in general, then I think that if the cat is relaxed and taking treats and petting in the hallway you could try your husband just opening the door a crack, being seen by the cat, then closing the door right away, all of this taking up about 3 seconds.
All this time you are giving the cat SUPER high value treats that the cat loves, and speaking softly and calmly to her. If she freaks out, wait a couple more weeks before trying it again. If she doesn't, then try it again in 2 days. If you can do this every other day for a week without her being scared, go to once a day. If that keeps being OK for a couple of weeks, then he could put his head out briefly, then close the door. All of this in baby steps. Eventually he would open the door a little more and a little more to all the way but NOT put any part of himself out the door, just stand there, 3 or 4 feet into the room and not right at the doorway. Then once that is OK, make it 2 feet from the doorway. And so on. 

If at any point she freaks out, you go back to the previous step and stay there again for a while before moving forward again. 

I suggest that during this time your husband not look at the cat. He needs to pretend the cat is not there. Ignore the cat. Let the cat approach him at all times, if she wishes to, but he shouldn't approach her at all. And he should take care not ever to be seen in the hallway when the cat is there. Just give her lots of space. If she approaches him, and asks for attention he needs to speak slowly and quietly and pet her slowly and gently.

And of course you and your husband must stay calm and not fight. If you two get angry and need to work something out, you_ have_ to leave the house to do this, because if the cat witnesses this again it will undo all of your hard work and she will be back to the beginning again.

Of course the great benefit to this might be that because of this cat you and your husband learn to work things out calmly and without fighting. that would be great for the two of you as well.  

I truly admire your willingness to work with this problem instead of abandoning the cat, and no doubt others do as well. We will help and support in any way we can.


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## Janis (Aug 26, 2010)

I had a similar episode with a cat I owned. He was almost 25 lbs so could have been serious. My teenage son & I got into a heated verbal battle. He was standing in the doorway of the room where I was sitting. As we became more and more heated, the cat suddenly lunged at my son and wrapped himself around my sons legs and began to bite at him. He pulled him loose, and pushed him away, and we resumed our shouting. Soon the cat repeated the same attack, and my son again managed to pull him loose. By then we were laughing so hard the "discussion" was over.
It never happened again, perhaps because we normally did not argue like that.
The physical action was a trigger as you know, and he so it seems you will either have to avoid that in front of him or rehome him. Decisions .


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## miscellaneous (May 24, 2021)

babyslim said:


> I bought a clicker, now we are exericising in hallway with her favorite food. After exercising with clicker, for few weeks, do you think that can I introduce my husband to her again in the hallway?
> For instance after few weeks exercising with clicker, my husband opens the door and appears in the hallway ?
> Or he takes the clicker and gives her food?


That's a great idea! Clickers followed by a treat is a very good way to train cats, and exercising them until they get tired burns off lots of energy and helps them to relax. 

It's not really possible to say how long it will take before your husband starts working with her. As I said earlier, you only move on to the next step when the first one is accomplished. If she's having fun in the hallway and in the room (don't forget the room) then have your husband give it a try. If it doesn't work, back off and try another time. You could try playing with her first until she's a little tired, then have your husband try a little too. Just remember to stay calm and don't make any loud noise. When you're done, give her a treat and lots of praise. 

Watch for signs of agitation like hissing, growling, staring, or ears back, and stop the activity right away. Move away from her immediately if you feel she may attack. If you're tense, she will pick up on it, so leave the area calmly. As soon as she's calm, give her a treat because it's best to end a session in a good way. 

Even though she's probably peeing/pooping due to stress, putting a litterbox in the room may be helpful because cats are very attuned to scent. If there's a box in the room where she's previously been afraid, and she uses it, it can make her feel that it's her room too so there's nothing to be frightened about. 

Regardless of whether you rehome her or not, whatever problems you're having right now needs to be addressed. Have you discussed this with your cat's behaviorist?


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

@Janis, 
It is good for me to hear that somebody else experienced something similar.
I am not the only one.
Thanks for sharing your experience with me.
Did your son get any serious injury? Did he have to use antibiotics after the occurence?


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

@Mosi 

Mosi many thanks for the advice.
All those were the instructions I need. Now, it is more clear in my mind.
Well I will not deny it, sometimes I can not control my temper since childhood. (I am the one who needs a therapist I think).
But now I try to be calmer, keeping my words in bay and also I do not shout and Try not to be loud with my voice.
Otherwise I know that I will get punished.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

@miscellaneous
Hello, thanks for the advice again. we have feliway plugins, but I purchased the Feliway spray in order to use in the areas she spotted before, and in order to use on my husband:/.

I do not know about putting litterbox on those places, because the halliway is so narrow.

My cat behaviourist says that it is fear agression. And he says that if she was able to escape she would escape.
So add some space for her.

But honestly, even before those episodes I never saw this cat run away from something.
(Only the time when I see her run away, When she was a baby. In the backyard of the place I work there used to be other stray cats and I saw her on the tree because she afraid of other adult cats)
When she sees my husband she does not run away, she comes towards him by growling and hissling. And ready to attack.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

Last night, I had a fearful occurence with her. (Only by my side may be)
She was on my nap, and I slowly moved her away because I need to go to kitchen. Then suddenly, she meowed and ran away from me, and she started to stare at me where she stands still. I was afraid to death, because I thought since she was vocal slightly she is going to attack me. I locked myself to the kitchen which has a glass door. She came near to glass door, and staring at me (Her eyes were not dilated), and under the glass door I gave her some treats and she ate the treats. After all she behaved me normal. 
I say to myself It is a cat, it is a cat. That is normal.... 

Since her babyhood, she has some anxiety, running inside of the house, her tail is erected easily (even when she plays a game, Tail is fully up and its hair is on its end).
She used to hiss to strangers, she gets extremely fearful when a glass objects are broken, or things fell down.
After taking prozac I do not see her her tail in erected form, at least while playing.
But with the general anxiety, I do not see any improvement. 

We decided to switch to gabapentin? What do you think?


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

Are these drugs being prescribed by a qualified veterinarian, who knows the cat's entire history and has done a thorough examination of the cat including blood tests?
If not....
I do not think you should be giving ANY medication to this cat unless it is prescribed by a veterinarian. Giving drugs to an animal without full testing to make sure the animal has no conditions that would cause the medication to harm them, and without knowing the exact dosage and what the possible side effects and dangers are, is a very dangerous thing to do. And in general, it is not the best approach to dealing with problems.

What you have is a cat who probably had a difficult life before you took her in from the street. And she has not been able to be relaxed in your home because of noise and some degree of violence. This doesn't mean she needs medication.

This cat primarily needs, as we have discussed before, a calm and quiet and peaceful environment in which to live. giving her drugs can make her problems a lot worse. Prozac, for instance, could have made this worse as it is known to have the effect in some people and in some dogs of, instead of making them better, making them feel crazy. Prozac has driven some human beings into psychotic breaks. Of course it doesn't do this to everyone, but it can happen. If you have given this cat Prozac without a vet's prescription, please stop. And please don't give any other drugs unless told to by a vet after a very thorough examination.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

@Mosi, Prozac was prescribed by her vet of course. For three months she has been using it after the first attack episode. 

Believe or not, I feel guilty about the cat. It could be totally different. 
But also I think she needs to calm down and needs mediciation. 
She was always anxious before the incident, but I always thought that is normal for a cat.


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

It is understandable that you would feel guilty -- and you have played a part in creating the situation your cat and you are in. But feeling guilty is not productive, and I would encourage you not to continue with that and instead look to the future. Use that energy on being really kind to the cat and making her life as nice as possible instead of wasting it on feeling bad about yourself.

I have always felt terrible when I have made a mistake with an animal, and this is what I do instead of allowing myself to go around feeling bad. Every time I start to feel bad about something I just make an extra effort to give my animals a good day today, and that helps me and helps them as well. 

It is not normal for a cat to be anxious. But it may be normal for this cat, and that could be her personality type or could be because she came from the street and had bad experiences there, and you won't ever know. While obviously I don't generally approve of medications, in this case if the medication is helping, then maybe it's the right thing. If it is not helping, though, then discuss trying something different with your vet. Prozac can help or it can harm, and it depends on the individual which it does, whether it is person or animal. But even with medication, this cat primarily needs a peaceful environment. So when you start feeling guilty, just focus your energy on being a peaceful home.


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## miscellaneous (May 24, 2021)

Can you go to Youtube and search for Jackson Galaxy videos? He has several of them about cat aggression, and you may find it helpful.


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## JohnYYZ (11 mo ago)

IMO, instead of just watching Jackson's videos, you need to reach out to him for his professional assistance. GL. <3


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Watching the videos, which will contain all of his advice, is a lot cheaper than a $1,200 Zoom consult.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

JohnYYZ said:


> IMO, instead of just watching Jackson's videos, you need to reach out to him for his professional assistance. GL. <3


I wish I could just afford.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

Her vet and behaviorist prescribed her gabapentin, and after giving her the gabapentin he told me to introduce my husband to our cat. 
I am scaring to death because a possible new agression/attack episode.

@miscellaneous and @Mosi thanks for detailed description for the introduction. I hope I can apply your advices without being hurt.


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

The way not to be hurt or to make things worse is to take this whole thing VERY, VERY SLOWLY. I cannot emphasize that enough. 

Your vet is wrong to think that taking a medication will solve it and you should go ahead with bringing your husband back close to the cat. You need to take very tiny slow steps as we have said. The Jackson Galaxy videos on YouTube are free and really there is nothing more you would gain from paying him for an individual consult, anyway. You have all of the info you need, and if you want encouragement, let us support you. If you want demonstrations, go to YouTube and watch Jackson. 

You will do fine if you just don't rush it. If you take it super slow there is nothing to be afraid of. Please know this whole process might take many months, even a year. But it will be worth it in the end.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

Through this week, few times They have seen each other for a second. (By mistake)
1. She saw my husband for a few seconds, he was coming home. She looked curious no sign of agressiveness.
2. She saw my husband thoough glass door for a few seconds, She did not show any sign of agressiveness?

What do you think about to introduce them through glass dooor? Would it be ok?

@miscellaneous, yes we need courage....for introduction...


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

Introducing them through the glass door sounds OK. BUT, you have only barely started this process so please do not rush ahead of yourself!

You could use the glass door instead of the door in the hallway for a while, but eventually you will have to go to the hallway door and start the process there at the beginning because, as you have said, there is something about the hallway combined with your husband that triggers her.

My guess is maybe the hallway feels like a confined place for her and that is the reason. Remember to make the hallway a nice place for her, with treats and petting, and when he opens that door a tiny crack for a moment for her to see your husband just for a second, be sure that _nothing_ is blocking her exit from the hallway so she can run if she needs to.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

...Update...

For two days, she has been seeing my husband behind the glass door. He goes to balcony, and sees the cat. 
She is not interested at all. 

Other times, she has been waiting in front of the door where my husband has been in. and meows. 

I think that it is nonsense that my husband looks at her though glass door. Because she sees the balcony as not a part of the house, and she knows that husband will not enter from the balcony into the living room. 

So she feels safe.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

@Mosi, @miscellaneous what do you think? Any suggestions?

Update from today. 

My husband and she met on the hallway today... He was holding a rod toy (My husband because of panic not able to use it well) But she was not interested in toy, she was more interested in my husband., (generally she is interested in rod toy)

I am not sure at all but she turned out to be aggressive and my husband left the place. 

All those happened in a minute. 
I lost my hope...


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

babyslim said:


> @Mosi, @miscellaneous what do you think? Any suggestions?
> 
> 
> I am not sure at all but she turned out to be aggressive and my husband left the place.
> ...


Less than a month ago, I said this to you:
"You will do fine if you just don't rush it. If you take it super slow there is nothing to be afraid of. Please know this whole process might take many months, even a year. But it will be worth it in the end. "
and I also said: "The way not to be hurt or to make things worse is to take this whole thing VERY, VERY SLOWLY. I cannot emphasize that enough. "

miscellanious also suggested to you that you make progress very slowly.

This latest incident has happened, I am almost certain, because you rushed the process. You rushed ahead, in less than 4 weeks, to having direct contact with your husband ---too soon--- and the aggression happened again.

This is a set-back. You need to start over if you want this to work, and this time don't rush ahead.
I am afraid I don't understand why you would lose hope when you did not take the long and very slow and gradual progression that this situation needs. 
The fact that your cat was aggressive again is due to this, combined with your husband's nervousness, which also happened because the process has not been very slow and gradual over the course of months. Your husband needs to become gradually comfortable with the cat as well as her becoming comfortable with him. I am sorry this happened, babyslim, but I have given you my very best advice in detail and if you are for some reason unable to follow the advice I honestly don't know what else I can do to help.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

Hello, You are right Mosi. 
Since she does not react her though glass door, I thought that we can go to next step.
Meanwhile, I could not find a home for her....

Today while we playing with her in the hallway (for a month we play in the hallway, I purchased some cat stuff for there). He opened the door just for a second, and put a dish of treats on the grounds.

..........Her tail become erected and puffed..... Once she saw her.

And I saw the setback.
We should have started from this. Not from the direct contact.

Do you think should I give a break? Or continue like that everyday?


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

babyslim said:


> Since she does not react her though glass door, I thought that we can go to next step.


babyslim,

When you mentioned the glass door, my response to you 10 days ago was:
"Introducing them through the glass door sounds OK. BUT, you have only barely started this process so please do not rush ahead of yourself! "

If you still want to keep this cat you need to back up to the _very beginning_, which means that your husband should not have reached out any part of his body from the door at all. I was specific about that. Having him do that is not the beginning, but many steps along, so again you have rushed the process.

It will probably now take longer to get to where you want to get, if you actually ever do get there, because of this recent setback. Also, having your husband reach out from the door is still another case of rushing ahead, and another setback on top of the last one.

The advice I gave initially is all I can say. It is entirely your choice of course whether or not you decide to follow it, but as I said before I really do not think I can help you any more if you choose to do something different from my advice, because it's the best I have.

To be honest, I do not know at this point if this will work or not. Due to her having freaked out again, she may never be comfortable with your husband at all. But no one can predict the future. You can try what I suggest if you want to, and find out if, in another year or so, she is comfortable with him or not. I would not anticipate at this point that this would take less than six months. If you rush the process again, it may mean that this is not going to work out at all. As I said, it is up to you. I wish you luck.


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## miscellaneous (May 24, 2021)

Is your cat still on Gabapentin, and if so, have you seen any improvement? Are you and your husband able to deal with your cat in a calm and relaxed manner? Were you able to watch the Jackson Galaxy videos on Youtube about cat aggression?


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

Hello @miscellaneous , yes I have started to watch Jackson Galaxy series. (I have completed the most relevant ones). He has some introduction videos... 
She has been using prozac for four months (first two months 0.5 ml, second two months 1 ml). A lot of people told me Prozac may take time to work (at least 8 weeks) so I decided to wait a little before switching to gabapentin. 
But I feel that she is still anxious, and in our case Prozac does not work I think.

My vet gave me gabapentin which will go for only 12 days; and I dont know what to do afterwards. So I hesitate to use it. 


@Mosi For a month my husband lives in a single room. He has to text me to go to toilet. When I leave the house, he has to leave as well because he can not live in his own house.... Unintentionally, I may have rushed; because we can not leave like that for a year....

Now she stands in front of the door of room that my husband in, meows like begging and trying to open the door.!! That 's unbearable at the moment.

There is an update; I find a place for her. One of my relative lives in a forest in mountains (There is only one highway faraway the house) He feeds 7 cats in his garden. The only thing make me think that he may leave that place 7 months later. (It is not certain yet) .


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

And one more question?
If she is afraid of him, and not feel comfortable with him, then why she always meows in front of the room that he is in?
Are there any explanations for that?


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## Mosi (May 17, 2021)

Your question about why she behaves the way she does is not one that I can answer. I am afraid that even to those of us who have lived with cats our whole lives, they are still sometimes a mystery and that is the nature of cats! We cannot really understand the mind of a cat. Sometimes this makes us love them more and sometimes it is simply frustrating.

But I think that the new home you have found for her sounds wonderful. This is very good news.
If, in fact, your cat came from the streets then she will probably be comfortable where she is being fed outdoors. And your relative must have something planned for the cats they feed for when they leave (if they leave), and this cat can be included in that. Maybe a neighbor takes over the feeding?

If your husband is having to live as you describe in his own home then I don't blame you for wanting to rush ahead, as counter-productive as that has turned out to be. Honestly, I would not be willing to live like that myself and commend him and you for your patience. To me, the situation you are in with this cat is not reasonable for your husband. In his place, I probably would have insisted that the cat leave before this. Getting this cat to a new home is in my opinion the best solution. I wish you the best of luck.


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## miscellaneous (May 24, 2021)

It's great that your relative is willing to take your cat! Have you asked him what he's planning to do about the other cats if he moves?


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## miscellaneous (May 24, 2021)

babyslim said:


> And one more question?
> If she is afraid of him, and not feel comfortable with him, then why she always meows in front of the room that he is in?
> Are there any explanations for that?


One reason could be that some cats don't like closed doors or to be cut-off from a room they want to go in. Another could be she still sees your husband as a threat and is stalking him. Or she may just want to be with your husband on her own terms. There's really no way of knowing the mind of a cat. We all just try to figure them out as we go.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

Yes, I think so.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

Update.---


miscellaneous said:


> It's great that your relative is willing to take your cat! Have you asked him what he's planning to do about the other cats if he moves?


He plans to put the cats to animal sanctuary nearby (He beleives that there is a good one). 
But honestly, I do not believe that an animal sanctuary can be good in my country. We hear so bad things about those places. That s why I hesisiate to give the cat to him.


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

---Update----

We gave her gabapentin (which turned her into a furball), and my husband came to the room that she is in. 
She is very friendly to him, and sleeps next to him all the time. 
My husband plays with her and feeds her. 
It is the third day we try this.

But of course, there is a big hallyway problem waiting for us...


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## miscellaneous (May 24, 2021)

babyslim said:


> Update.---
> 
> He plans to put the cats to animal sanctuary nearby (He beleives that there is a good one).
> But honestly, I do not believe that an animal sanctuary can be good in my country. We hear so bad things about those places. That s why I hesisiate to give the cat to him.


I understand your worries, but it's a good option if things don't work out at home. It's very important that you, your husband, AND your cat are all happy with your lives.


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## miscellaneous (May 24, 2021)

babyslim said:


> ---Update----
> 
> We gave her gabapentin (which turned her into a furball), and my husband came to the room that she is in.
> She is very friendly to him, and sleeps next to him all the time.
> ...


That's great news! Now that she's more relaxed on the Gabapentin, this is the time to get her used to all the things she was afraid of. You could try walking slowly and calmly up and down the hallway and into the room without any eye-contact or talking, and see if she follows. Give her treats along the way if she's calm, ignore her if she's not. If she does well after several walks with you and your husband, give her treats and praise. If she becomes upset, slowly leave the hallway and lead her to a safe spot, then quietly give her treats and praise.

And remember... it's very important for you and your husband to do this calmly and slowly. If she becomes nervous about something or has a set-back, you MUST remain calm and remember what you need to do about it. Go slowly and with confidence, and you should be okay.

Also, what is your cat's name? 😺


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

Her name is Slim .
And we call her baby slim, because when we found her she was a 6 old week kitten.

I have been giving her prozac(Liquid) in her favorite food (canned turkey) for 4 months. After four hours giving prozac I have started to give her gabapentin in her favourite food.

Now she refuses to eat her favourite food with prozac also the food with gabapentin.
Today I had to give her the medicines with wet food using a syringe between her teeth, she become really nervous, start to run away from me. Now I am thinking how will I give the medicines to her tomorrow:/


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## miscellaneous (May 24, 2021)

Hello to Baby Slim! Both of those meds come in pill form, which may be easier to crush up and mix with either a favorite wet food or a little bit of tuna fish so it covers the taste. When my cats need meds, we use Greenie's Pill Pockets for Cats, which are little tasty treats we put the pill in, and the cats eat them before they know there's a pill in them. You may not have that brand where you live, but you could ask your Vet about something like it.

I know this is hard, but you really are doing a good job and I admire all the work you've put into this!


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

Hello you all. 
I want to give an update about our situation. 
She is doing great at the moment, we turned back to our normal lives. 

She is still a little bit skittish, and still afraid of vacuum and hisses at the vacuum etc.
Also she is still sensitive to emotional conversations. (we try to control our voices...)

But we are doing fine .


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## babyslim (11 mo ago)

Hello People, we were doing extremely fine so far.

We have been on Prozac past seven months; and our vet decided to ween off prozac and we have tapered it slowly. Three weeks since she has been taking the last dosage of prozac.



And a week ago; she did her first attack to my husband in the hallway. and then not attack but growled on him next day after the attack

Today also she attacked my husband when she lie on his nap. 

Do you have any advice??


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