# Non affectionate/ultra independent kitty!



## susannahmia (Jul 24, 2010)

We got a male kitten from the pet store about two months ago, he was in a small cage with three other kittens who were slightly younger and from a different litter.

He was spitting and hissing at the other kittens and was clearly very uncomfortable being in the cage with them. Usually we wouldn't buy anything from this pet store as the owners imo don't care about the animals but we felt so sorry for this little guy that we just had to take him. He looked so miserable and so did the other poor kittens who had to deal with him. 

He is a great little guy, the vet said he is about six months old. He is very playful and friendly, loves to be around people and follows us around the house, loves to play chase hide and seek etc. However he is not very affectionate and hardly wants to be petted. I have never met a cat like him most other cats I know were constantly wanting to sit on humans laps and be petted.

The only time he will come up and happily be petted and sometimes sit on me for a few minutes is first thing in the morning when I get up or maybe for 5 minutes during the day. After a few minutes hes done with the love and is set for the day prefering to do his own thing but at the same time wanting to be in the same room as you etc. Hes more affectionate with me than my mom he never really looks to be petted from her at all and usually cats love her. Hes just a strange little guy.

Are some cats just not that affectionate? Will he ever change? I wouldn't swap him for the world but I miss the cuddles. 

His names Charlie by the way.


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## Kattt (Dec 20, 2008)

Hi Susannah. Welcome to the cat forum. I think that its great that you took a cat that others may have overlooked due to the hissing and aggressiveness.

His behavior is natural. Some cats are indeed very independent and unaffectionate. 

Your lil guy sounds much like my girl when I first got her at 6 weeks old. At the shelter she was skittish and hissing, but I just had to have her anyways. 7 years later, she's still unaffectionate and very aggressive and hateful towards my 7 year old male as well as many humans that go near her. She's very attached to me, and will let me pet her for 5 minutes here and there, but she'd much rather just be close to me, laying on a chair or something.. vs being touched. And just like you, I would love to have a cuddly cat too.. but I wouldn't trade her for the world. 

So rest assured, he's not abnormal, thats just how some cats are. They each have their own unique personality traits.


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## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

I've found some kitties are like that from the get-go and doesn't seem to matter how much they've been handled since they were born. 'Born to be wild' I guess! I really think they're the exception though, and most are that way because they didn't get enough socialization with people or littermates during a crucial time between 5 and 11 weeks as that is the time when they learn those skills of how to interact with people and other cats and learn to control their bite and claws. 

Hard to say whether Charlie was that way from day one or missed out on some socialization. You can keep trying to encourage him to come on your lap by offering treats if he's really food motivated might help. Gentle grooming may help as well to remind him of his momacat licking him. I hope he continues to improve in the cuddle department, but he may not and you'll just have to accept that's just the way he's going to be.


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## faithless (Dec 4, 2009)

I dont know whether it helps or not (Im not one of the experts around her), but my gal never gets to walk past me without a touch or little stroke (without interfering with where she was heading), so being touched by a human is completely natural to her. Heidi seems to make sure that her adoptives get handled all the time to make them accustomed to that too. Maybe give him little treats out of your hand, things like that? Right this minute she's settling down in the crook of my arm for a good clean but I know her moods well enough to see that if I start stroking her before shes settle down, she'll jump up and go sit somewhere else, so I'll let her get comfy for a few minutes before I start cuddling her.


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

To me it sounds like the pet store stuck this poor little guy in the kennel with out proper introductions and he was scared to death. The other kittens smelled different and he didnt know them. Adoption events are very stressful on cats and kittens and they react accordingly. Im sure the idiots at the pet store didnt use feliway spray in the kennels either which helps. We use that at all adoption events.


I got a kitten at apx 2-3 weeks which i named Omni. He was overly intellegent, handsome, social, very very active, a total love. He could drive you crazy with his activity. I took him to his first adoption event and he went balistic. He was in his own kennel and bit two people who came in looking for a cat! I told them not to put their fingers inside the kennel but the idiots did anyway and got bit. He was growling and yowling the whole time. We covered his cage and put him in the bathroom he was so upsetting all the cats at the event. Any time we get a cat/ kitten which freaks at adoption events they are compared to Omni! Omni ended up getting a fabulous home but the people came to my house to meet him and fell in love with him. We still laugh about him to this very day.

Kittens by the nature of their energy level arent snugglers. They will play till exhaustion and then fall asleep in your arms. Its important for you to hold this little guy briefly and often to get him use to being handled. 

I know people on CF will probably judge me for this but I *very gentlely* pull on ears, tails, do little flips when handling them to get them use to possiblely being in a home with children which arent alway gentle or smart about kittens. They become desensitized to handling that way with out being upset and lashing out. Play and do a lot of handling which creates a bond with your kitten. Set them in your lap and let him crawl right back out several times a day. Eventually when they become an adult they will be use to being on your lap and come to you for love.


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## susannahmia (Jul 24, 2010)

Mitts & Tess said:


> To me it sounds like the pet store stuck this poor little guy in the kennel with out proper introductions and he was scared to death. The other kittens smelled different and he didnt know them. .


Thats exactly the situation Mitts and Tess you hit the nail on the head there. I mean this was a freakin small rabbit cage and Charlie was terrified.  Im pretty sure the pet store owner hasn't even heard of feliway spray let alone thought to use it. I cant even go in there anymore he has new kittens now and it breaks my heart to see them stuck in a little cage all day.

Unfortunatly in my country there are no laws preventing store owners from doing this, as long as they have food water and clean shelter almost anything goes. (Fortunatly however the majority of pet stores don't sell puppys or kittens, this store is one of the exceptions.)

He is not bad for handling he lets me pick him up but certainly doesn't enjoy it and just sort of tolerates it. At the start he would meow with anxiety when picked up but now he doesn't.

If I put him on my lap he will jump straight off but will stay for a few minutes when he gets up himself on his terms. On average he will jump up on my lap for about 3 short five minute snuggle periods a day where he is very affectionate to me but likes to sleep on his own in his own chair. Even if he is sleeping on the sofa and you sit on the other end he will get up and switch chairs. I can cut his nails when he is sleepy without any problems at all.


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## inzekesmemory (Jan 17, 2010)

*yep!!!*

buzzy is the same way..pet me on my terms!!! i take him down sometimes just for some loves and kisses, he tolerates it but then twitches his tail and glares at me after...hehe!!! he's never been a real lover kitty but will curl up on the couch by my feet and "nurse" on my blanket....


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## susannahmia (Jul 24, 2010)

Funny that you mention the nursing on the blanket,Charlie does that too when he comes for his five minute snuggles.


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## ~Siameseifuplz~ (May 6, 2007)

It could just be his personality, some cats are just independent. It's also possible that if he is from a pet store he is also from a kitten mill in which case he would have gotten very little socialization up to this point so really never learned how to bond with people. My brother's cat is like this, he's not really into being touched, he doesn't get aggressive or fearful but doesn't really appear to enjoy it and he doesn't stick around for more.

In the future try not to buy kittens or puppies from pet stores unless they are shelter animals just being displayed there. Animals given to pet stores are from really sketchy breeders who neglect and over-breed their animals. When you buy an animal from the store you encourage the store to buy more animals from the mill. The only way to stop puppy and kitten mills is to stop buying puppies and kittens from them.


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## susannahmia (Jul 24, 2010)

~Siameseifuplz~ said:


> In the future try not to buy kittens or puppies from pet stores unless they are shelter animals just being displayed there. Animals given to pet stores are from really sketchy breeders who neglect and over-breed their animals. When you buy an animal from the store you encourage the store to buy more animals from the mill. The only way to stop puppy and kitten mills is to stop buying puppies and kittens from them.


I know usually I wouldn't but I just couldn't leave him there.


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## faithless (Dec 4, 2009)

hey, dont be embarrassed, you just saved the lil guy!


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