# Very scared fosters - thoughts?



## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

Hi all,

We have three foster cats right now - little black pregnant lady, Venus and just got two of her relatives. All three were picked up recently from a reserve and have not really been indoors before. Venus went into foster care right away as she can't be adopted until after she has her kittens. The other two got spayed, vet care and went into a pet store that the shelter works with in order to get adopted.

After about a week the shelter called to see if we could take one or both in - they were both absolutely terrified in the pet store and weren't doing well. We picked both up last night and they seemed past the point of terrified. They were almost depressed / giving up. The older one had just been staring at the wall and the two cuddled together not moving. They barely meowed on the way home. 

I let them settle in overnight, just left wet and dry food and water out. They stayed hidden it seems, not moving. Didn't eat, they seem too nervous to. Today I fed them a bit, wiped food on their mouths so they would lick it and then lick it off the spoon. They ate some wet food mixed with water, but only seem to eat when I spoon feed - otherwise they seem very depressed, almost given up.

Any suggestions? I know eating and drinking is incredibly important, so I'll keep spoon feeding 3-4 times daily to make sure they are getting food and water in. I know they need lots of quiet time to settle in and to not stress them / approach them too much. Have catnip and honeysuckle in there and lots of bedding to burrow in. Any other thoughts? Anyone else dealt with cats that almost seem to have given up on life? I can spoon feed and give them all the time they need to settle in, just wondering if there is anything else I can do. Thanks!


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## Jetlaya67 (Sep 26, 2012)

You may try some Feliway spray or the plug in to see if they will calm down a little. Maybe try enticing them with yummy treats or feathery toys. Poor babies, they sound so scared.


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

Have feliway, they are way past the point of interest in toys or treats. No interest in food at all. :? 

At least I was able to get them to eat once they started licking it up. Watered the wet food down a bit so it was warm and so they are getting lots of water.

They are beautiful - all white with blue eyes, one DSH one DMH. Both seem to hear well / respond to sounds.


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## mumof7kitties (Jan 27, 2013)

The poor babies!  They just need time. Be calm and soothing around them, make an effort to spend time with them alone and pet them softly and just talk or read quietly to them. And keep feeding them watered down wet food as you are. 


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

Thanks - glad I'm not missing anything. 

I was worried about the food part as one didn't eat much - the older one ate about 1/3 of a can of Wellness once I got her started with spoon feeding but the other barely licked at it. Just tried Almo Nature tuna which is pretty much kitty crack for my boys and it worked. Took a while but she started licking it up and then ate out of the bowl. So each have at least 1/3 of a 5 oz can in them. I got them to return slow blinks as well, so that seems promising. I'll try to get more Almo Nature - I usually use it as treats only because it is just muscle meat (no bones / organs) but if that gets them eating then it is better than nothing!

I called my sister last night and spent about half an hour on the phone with her in their room so they could get used to my voice so I'll keep trying to do that. 

Thanks for the suggestions and support.


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## misschloe (Mar 20, 2013)

The poor critters. They must be so scared. 

I don't really have any advice. I just wanted to say good for you for stepping up to help these two.


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## cat owner again (Dec 14, 2012)

I think those cages in pet stores can be scary for most cats with people poking at them and dogs coming in, etc. I was reading notes of a rescue locally that pretty much described the process from the cats point of view and it made me very sad. If these cats weren't used to living with people no wonder they are scared to death. I am sure you can break through but I wonder how you will be able to get them adopted out.


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

cat owner again said:


> but I wonder how you will be able to get them adopted out.


They will stay with us until they can comfortably go into the pet store environment or until they find loving homes. They are ready for adoption health-wise, so they are on the website available but must go to quiet homes with no young children and the page is very clear that they will need lots of TLC and lots of time to settle in as they are extremely shy. So if potential adopters want to meet them, we will have them come here to meet them and I guess the kitties are here until they are comfortable enough to go back to the pet store or until they find forever homes.

It could be a long commitment. Poor things.


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

Sounds like the pet store is not a good option. I don't think I would do that to them again. Poor things - strange people tapping on glass, kids screeching in delight, lights on almost all (if not all) the time. Just the whole "on display" thing with no place to hide would be terrifying. If you can post them on social media or Craigslist that would probably be better. Sorry I can't be more help. I hope they get adopted soon - preferably to a quiet house. Thank you for taking them in and caring for them.


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## NebraskaCat (Jan 15, 2013)

Tiliqua said:


> They will stay with us until they can comfortably go into the pet store environment or until they find loving homes. They are ready for adoption health-wise, so they are on the website available but must go to quiet homes with no young children and the page is very clear that they will need lots of TLC and lots of time to settle in as they are extremely shy. So if potential adopters want to meet them, we will have them come here to meet them and I guess the kitties are here until they are comfortable enough to go back to the pet store or until they find forever homes.
> 
> It could be a long commitment. Poor things.


I like that they put the restriction of a quiet home. I hope they would also say that they have to be adopted together. From your description it sounded like the only hope they had left (until you came into their lives) was each other.

I agree with Mumof7 - just having a person sit on the floor in the same room with them, speaking quietly to them, will start to build their trust back up.


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

We can't do anything outside of the rescue group and all potential adopters have to go through them. Gia and Hilayna ate on their own last night, wet food disappeared, so that is great. Both mostly just sit in a hidden spot and don't move, but if they are eating on their own then I'm not nearly as worried - it doesn't seem like depression / giving up on life. Now we just keep spending time with them and talking to them quietly and calmly. I can deal with very nervous kitties but the whole not eating for a while and not moving just staring at the wall was very concerning. I only had to spoon feed twice each and now they seem to be eating on their own when things are quiet.


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## anie (Dec 4, 2012)

such a great news! they are stunning! thanks so much for taking them in. poor kitties, i am sure they will bloom soon.


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## Manue (Jan 3, 2013)

Great news! I have so much respect for people who foster like this. I would burn out in a week, lol. When our newly adopted cat had a rhino and was breathing laboriously I didn't sleep for two days because I was always checking on her, "you are still breathing right!?!?!".


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## dt8thd (Jan 7, 2013)

I've had similar experiences with ferals and semi-feral fosters. It's not uncommon for them to go into "shut-down" mode when they're initially brought in. The Toronto Feral Cat Coalition have a TNR recovery centre with banks of cages in which we recover the cats after surgery until they're healed enough to be released, and it's not at all unusual for the cats to hunker down in the back and seemingly not move a muscle for hours. Sometimes they look as if they haven't moved from a position for days, but food and water still slowly disappears, and poop still accumulates in the litterbox (or wherever), so they are moving around--just not when people are around to see them do it. 

When I first brought two of my colony cats home to socialize (Autumn, the 2yo tortie and her kitten, Ramona) they initially stayed in a large dog crate in an old bedroom. During the day they would often hunker down together in their cat bed and keep a wary eye on anyone who entered the room, but on the few occasions that I slept in the room with them I would hear them padding around, using the litterbox and playing once the lights went out and they thought I was asleep. If I shifted at all, the noises eminating from the dog crate would abruptly stop for the next 5 - 10 minutes, until they decided it was safe to carry on. 

Like you're doing with your foster kitties, I hand-fed Autumn and Ramona, which helped a lot in establishing trust--keep doing what you're doing; it can take quite awhile for fearful cats to learn to trust new people, but they will eventually start to come around, once they realize that you mean them no harm and are able to provide them with the things they need.


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

Again - thanks all. Good to know the 'giving up' isn't uncommon, unfortunately. 

The little ladies are doing well - sleeping in the litter box a lot, but of course that is where they smell themselves and feel safe so until they start to feel comfortable here that is to be expected. I'm sure they will start to associate the walk in closet with 'their territory' in a few days so hopefully they will feel safe beyond the litter box. I was going to give them the bedroom, but for now the closet is lots of space. Once they are comfortable here we will expand the territory.

Both are coming out and eating a bit in front of me. Zero aggression, purring lots but I know that purring can be a self-reassuring measure when nervous. Such pretty little girls, I'm trying to spend lots of time here and they are eating a bit and napping with me here so we should be making some progress. Lots of long, slow blinks with these ladies as well, so they really want to love and trust someone - they just need to know that it is ok.


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

Keep them in a small room, like a bathroom, with feliway going and a place to retreat to. Keep up the good work of hand feeding or sitting by a bowl while they eat. Go to the feral cat section of Cat Forum. Under stickies is taming or socializing kittens and feral cats. There is a wonderful 3 part Utube by the Urban Cat League on working with feral kittens to socialize them. You will find a lot of techniques to bring your guys around. Keep us posted. Bless you for taking these challenging fosters in. You will change their futures to be bright futures.


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## Marcia (Dec 26, 2010)

I would add to put them in a bathroom or a half bath, but use baby gates (stacked - cheap from thrift stores) to confine them. That way they don't feel isolated - unless you think they WANT to isolate themselves.

When I need to isolate someone (when Missy has UTI flare up or someone has diarrhea, I will put them in the half bath with baby gates. It is near the kitchen and I walk by a hundred times a day plus they can hear what is going on. I think it helps.


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

Still concerned that they aren't eating enough. They aren't eating food left out, I need to get some on their faces and then they will start to lick it up. Made a kind of slurry with Natures Variety Instinct raw and bits of raw chicken liver and that got licked up, but they still aren't eating very much at all. The slurry seemed to go over better than watered down canned food, so I'll keep offering that.

Hilayna is still just hiding in the litter box, hard to spoon feed her in there. 

They are in my walk in closet. So small space, have feliway. Thanks for the comments and advice! At least they are eating some.

Just noticed the half bath suggestion - I have two cats plus another foster and my boys want to play with everyone. So I'm not sure the baby gate would work, my brats would try to play and then eat their food. They are in the closet, so they hear what is going on... hopefully that is enough.


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

I think the chicken liver and raw slurry was the perfect idea. Two meals of it down, with them only starting off the spoon and then eating / lapping it on their own. Both are snuggled in the litter box still (it's all cleaned out though, so not as gross!) and instead of just lying listlessly, staring straight ahead we have purring and grooming happening!! Both ladies are purring away and grooming each other as I sit and waste time online and listen to music.  I'm so happy, it is so reassuring to see normal kitty behavior and to see them actually look content and satisfied.


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## Meegan (Mar 24, 2013)

It's great to hear you're making progress with the kitties. They are gorgeous. The color of the eyes is just amazing. I'm sure they won't have any any trouble finding a loving home once they get settled.


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## NebraskaCat (Jan 15, 2013)

Oh wow, beautiful cats. I do hope they stay together.


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## Lovemychanel (Mar 20, 2013)

Beautiful babies and great to hear progress 


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## mumof7kitties (Jan 27, 2013)

That is so wonderful! They're making remarkable progress due to your patience and kindness. It just goes to show that love goes a long way. It makes me a little teary-eyed. <3


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## Lovemychanel (Mar 20, 2013)

mumof7kitties said:


> That is so wonderful! They're making remarkable progress due to your patience and kindness. It just goes to show that love goes a long way. It makes me a little teary-eyed. <3


Me 2 just wasn't sure how to express it 


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

Thanks all. It is really nice to have people to share this with! I'm sure everyone on here would do the same if they had the means and opportunity.

I'm so happy - we've had such a good day! Raw food was definitely the trick, these ladies know what is healthy for them (and likely don't really recognize conventional cat food as 'food'). They have eaten 3 pretty good meals today, from almost nothing for the past couple days. They are even coming out of the litter box to eat:









I was so pleased! Little Gia came all the way out and came up and sniffed me and then even accepted chin scratches. Hilayna just put her head and front paws out to eat and they both went back to the litter box soon after eating, but were purring and grooming each other so I'm very, very happy. 

And they are very used to other cats and seem to like kitty company. My boy Aries came to check things out and tried his very best to get them to play:









When that failed, he sampled their food and then gave them a few licks on the head and cuddled with me for a while.

They are still skin and bones under the fluff, you can feel every rib and backbone, but I'm so happy to see them eat the raw slurry with bits of liver so readily. Very glad we are passed the point of giving up and not responding. Thanks for all the comments and suggestions!


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

They are stunningly beautiful! I would take the cover off the litter box and set it else where for them to go feel safe in. That way they dont have to hide in the litter box. You are making good progress. Well done!


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## Lovemychanel (Mar 20, 2013)

Tiliqua said:


> Thanks all. It is really nice to have people to share this with! I'm sure everyone on here would do the same if they had the means and opportunity.
> 
> I'm so happy - we've had such a good day! Raw food was definitely the trick, these ladies know what is healthy for them (and likely don't really recognize conventional cat food as 'food'). They have eaten 3 pretty good meals today, from almost nothing for the past couple days. They are even coming out of the litter box to eat:
> 
> ...


This is greaaaaat news.....I Love Aries trying to be so sweet and loving...I like the names you picked you are a good foster mama) HUGS to you doll!! 


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

Sorry for the many updates... but I'm so happy right now!

We've had such a good day. They were eating pretty well and seemed less afraid so I thought it might be nice for them to have a bit more area to explore. So I closed the bedroom door and opened the closet door to allow them all of the master bedroom. I brought the other three cats in here because these little strays seem to like other cats company and I figured it might help to see content, unafraid kitties. It's been a kitty party in my room for a couple hours now.

The timid little ladies have been exploring quite well, although every time I'd open the bedroom door to come in they would make a mad dash back to the closet. 

Now, I'm sitting on my bed spending time in here and the younger lady, Gia is playing like a little kitten with my boys, racing up and down their cat tree. Hilayna slowly made her way out of the closet, sniffed around and then came up to me. I scratched her chin slowly and after 10 mins she jumped up on the bed and is now on my lap, purring and making it hard to type (true cat-like behavior!!). They are both very, very skittish and timid, but I think having kitty friends has really helped. 

Very proud of my boys, they are super friendly with new cats and just wanted to play with them. Even just hearing / seeing my boys and Venus eating seemed to pique the ladies interest and draw them out to see.


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## snowy (Aug 23, 2012)

Great update! its just so wonderful knowing everything is ok. All of you fosterers are great! You have some great boys too, when most people are having problem introducing new kitties, you have every reason to be proud.


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## mumof7kitties (Jan 27, 2013)

Keep the updates coming! No need to apologize for them, if everyone else is like me we are right there with you, looking for the updates and pleased when there's been progress! I love reading about your special crew. 


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## Lovemychanel (Mar 20, 2013)

Tiliqua said:


> Sorry for the many updates... but I'm so happy right now!
> 
> We've had such a good day. They were eating pretty well and seemed less afraid so I thought it might be nice for them to have a bit more area to explore. So I closed the bedroom door and opened the closet door to allow them all of the master bedroom. I brought the other three cats in here because these little strays seem to like other cats company and I figured it might help to see content, unafraid kitties. It's been a kitty party in my room for a couple hours now.
> 
> ...


I look forward to the updates and ecstatic they are making progress))) keep updates flowing...


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

At the start of yesterday, getting Hilayna to poke her head out of the litter box and maybe a front paw to eat on her own was a huge step. 

Last night when I went to bed, she crawled up next to me and I fell asleep to her purring and grooming herself!! 

Both are still extremely timid and every time I leave and I have to start over again when I'm back to build trust... but they obviously really want to trust people. Gia also would jump up on the bed and sniff around but didn't settle down and fall asleep, she slept on the cat tree (and later on my boys came and took over the bed and Hilayna joined her there).


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## anie (Dec 4, 2012)

you are doing such a great job! and they are just beautiful, i am in love!


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## Lovemychanel (Mar 20, 2013)

Tiliqua said:


> At the start of yesterday, getting Hilayna to poke her head out of the litter box and maybe a front paw to eat on her own was a huge step.
> 
> Last night when I went to bed, she crawled up next to me and I fell asleep to her purring and grooming herself!!
> 
> Both are still extremely timid and every time I leave and I have to start over again when I'm back to build trust... but they obviously really want to trust people. Gia also would jump up on the bed and sniff around but didn't settle down and fall asleep, she slept on the cat tree (and later on my boys came and took over the bed and Hilayna joined her there).


Oh that is SUPER!!! Hilayna and Gia are making themselves at home and I am happy to hear your progress) hopefully, you will have a few more snap shots soon...)) 


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## love.my.cats (Jan 29, 2009)

Sounds like they're making great progress. You're doing so well with them. I also think them being able to see your kitties interact with you will be a big help too. I hope they continue to gain confidence.


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

*Foster Update*

Just a quick update.

Gia and Hilayna are no longer sleeping in the litter box (yay!) and have taken over not just the walk in closet but the entire master bedroom and most of the upstairs. They are still too timid to venture downstairs much, but with the pregnant foster Venus and my two boys it is a full bedroom / bed at night!

They are still extremely timid and hide and sudden movement or noises, but they are very affectionate and friendly now and will come up to people for pets as long as they don't move too quickly. They are also enjoying playing, especially in the middle of the night when the house is dark and quiet. My boys are always happy to have playmates, so often at some point in the dead of night 4 cats start going nuts!

I was always a lap cat - just took some time to come out of my shell!









I'm a playful brat:









Some cuddles and grooming:









Taking care of fosters is exhausting work!









Thanks again for the advice and suggestions. Seems like all they needed was time, a bit of spoon feeding and some brothers to get them playing and acting like cats again (well... acting like kittens!).


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## Mylita (Jan 23, 2013)

Good to hear things are going so well with your beautiful kitties!!

Mylita


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## misschloe (Mar 20, 2013)

They're gorgeous!
So glad to hear they're doing so well and are starting to come out of their shells. It's amazing what some good food, and a bit of TLC can do!


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

Haven't been on here in a while, but just wanted to update everyone on these two pretty white ladies. They have been here for over 4 months and went from not leaving the litter box to pretty much taking over the house (in a good way!). They play with my two boys and all four groom each other and snuggle and often at least 2-3 of them cuddle with me at night. It's so nice to see them confident and happy and not running and hiding at every movement or noise. They have made so much progress and fit in so perfectly that it would be impossible to let them go... so I've officially adopted them. I didn't really want more permanent residents but these lovely ladies just fit in too perfectly and I can't see them go to a new / scary place again. 

I was able to let all the cute little kittens and mama cat go but somehow these little ladies need to stay here.


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## pkbshrew (Feb 13, 2013)

NAAAAAW, lucky girls. THANK YOU for all of the love and tender care and for the new life you have given them.


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

They have blossomed into beautiful cats. Well done. They are beautiful!


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## gizmothecat (Jun 26, 2013)

WHY are they going to a pet store?

I mean no disrespect to those who work at a pet store or wh. 

o have purchased pets from a pet store...petstores get their "pets" from PUPPY/KITTY mills

Even if its a petstore that doesn't sell pets but houses rescues.....people will not see the difference between buying a pet from a petstore. 

Again, I mean no disrespect...I HATE petstores and all the sick animals they sell and where they get their pets from....MILLS where thet are abused, overbread and bread with all sorts of disease/injury

If I got this wrong I'm sorry. I habe rescued from puppymills and it is VERY disturbing..its the same for catmills


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## NebraskaCat (Jan 15, 2013)

Tiliqua said:


> so I've officially adopted them.


Congratulations! Wonderful additions to the family.


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## jusjim (Jun 30, 2009)

Tiliqua said:


> Hi all,
> 
> ,
> 
> Any suggestions? I know eating and drinking is incredibly important, so I'll keep spoon feeding 3-4 times daily to make sure they are getting food and water in. I know they need lots of quiet time to settle in and to not stress them / approach them too much. Have catnip and honeysuckle in there and lots of bedding to burrow in. Any other thoughts? Anyone else dealt with cats that almost seem to have given up on life? I can spoon feed and give them all the time they need to settle in, just wondering if there is anything else I can do. Thanks!


My only experience was with my precious Zenobi who became terrified after using her litterbox. Sootjing words and actions didn't help, it was only after about three months when she realised there would be no terror any more that she relaxed. Going by that it seems you're doing the right thing. Don't force anything past what they'll accept.


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## jusjim (Jun 30, 2009)

jusjim said:


> My only experience was with my precious Zenobi who became terrified after using her litterbox. Sootjing words and actions didn't help, it was only after about three months when she realised there would be no terror any more that she relaxed. Going by that it seems you're doing the right thing. Don't force anything past what they'll accept.


I guess I should have read the whole thread.

What beautiful cats.

You've done a wonderful job.

Zenobi got adopted partly because she was so depressed in her cage at the shelter.


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## cat owner again (Dec 14, 2012)

That is wonderful! They are so beautiful and now they are so happy.


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## JungliBillis (Mar 20, 2013)

Such a wonderful happy ending to this story! I am so glad they found the perfect home with you. And they are so beautiful!


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## Julie Carvill (Jun 30, 2010)

beautiful story!


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## Jetlaya67 (Sep 26, 2012)

That is really neat. It is amazing how you have helped those little girls overcome their shyness. They are absolutely gorgeous.


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

gizmothecat said:


> WHY are they going to a pet store?


I guess you haven't read the whole thread?


A few pictures of the ladies... not the best as they are pulled from my cell phone. But I LOVE seeing them so comfortable. Even taking over the dog's bed and toys, just like my boys do!

Snuggling with me on the couch:


Gia and brother Aries:


Gia and brother Orion:


My lap after being away for a couple days:


Movie night:


The poor dog's bed:




Thanks for all the kind words! Even though I didn't want 4 cats I'm very, very happy with the little feline family I have. They all get along wonderfully, which is nice. The funny thing is that it is little Gia, who was about 4lbs soaking wet when she came here, who is most definitely in charge of the kitty hierarchy. The others are pretty submissive and just happy to play and cuddle.


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## Mitts & Tess (Sep 4, 2004)

gizmothecat said:


> WHY are they going to a pet store?
> 
> I mean no disrespect to those who work at a pet store or wh.
> 
> ...


Pet store which have rescue pets I have no problem with. Any way you can make it easier for the public to adopt cats and dogs is a plus. The rescue community is finally thinking outside the box and using lots of methods to get adoptions. Its the puppy mill stores Im 100% against.

Giz, good news, she decided to keep them.


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

Mitts & Tess said:


> Pet store which have rescue pets I have no problem with. Any way you can make it easier for the public to adopt cats and dogs is a plus. The rescue community is finally thinking outside the box and using lots of methods to get adoptions. Its the puppy mill stores Im 100% against.


Yes, the place I foster with works with two pet stores to help get their cats new homes. Each pet store only sells / displays rescue cats / kittens from the shelter I work with and advertises for the shelter and the reasons to adopt rather than buy a cat. The pet store wasn't the right place for Gia and Hilayna but it helps hundreds of other cats get exposure and get great homes. All potential adopters must go through the shelter, be approved by the shelter and proceeds go to the shelter... so in these cases, the pet stores are doing a really great thing.


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

I just realized that it has been over a year since I got these 'fosters'. 

My lap this morning. 


The bed is MUCH fuller now and there is a good amount of white fur on most things... I'm very fortunate to have these lovely girls (and the two brothers that accept new additions so readily).


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## cat owner again (Dec 14, 2012)

I love white kitties. They are so beautiful but more important is seeing how happy they are and with a family.


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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

Gia and Karina are sooooo Beautiful!!
Since being "owned" by my own white kitty now, I have to say they have their own mystique!!


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

Another pic from today, as I've been reading and Ms. Gia has decided to glue herself to my lap.



It is VERY rare to see her brother being good and not getting into trouble... but the two of them are very close, despite how annoying he can be!


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## Tiliqua (Jan 22, 2013)

Another update. 

My lovely girls.... plus a foster. They are doing so well, no longer afraid of new people or dogs. Of the dozens and dozens of cats I've fostered, I've never been tempted to keep any... except these two, who just needed to stay here.


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## 10cats2dogs (Jun 16, 2013)

Oh look at that Great Big yawn!!
Beautiful girls! Handsome boy!
Sharon


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