# Having 2nd Thoughts



## JackieT (Jan 29, 2005)

So I brought home the 2nd cat to my house. She is a pretty calico Persian, approx. 2 years old.

Now, before I go any further, I have to say I am having 2nd thoughts about keeping her. 

I know this is a forum where everyone believes in 2nd chances, and rooting for the "underdog".. so please don't be offended by what I have to say, please hear me out.

I came into contact with a well known breeder of Persians, in hopes of getting another kitten, but decided on getting a retired breeder female. Sadly, the breeder of these cats is going out of business, due to a family personal problem. So she is rehoming all of her cats. I choose my cat, purely based on the picture, because the breeder lives in another state. I asked the breeder how much she wanted for her, and she said the only thing she asks for is to get the cat spayed ASAP, and upon receiving proof she'll send the registration papers to me in the mail.-- yes, the cat was free. I asked if this cat had any medical problems, and she said no, the cat is very healthy.
So I told my husband about this, he said NO MORE CATS. OUR CAT IS ENOUGH. so over a week I begged and pleaded until he caved. Yes I am ashamed I did this juvenile act.
Once the breeder heard back from me, it was like a whirlwind, days later a date was set for her to drive the cat to me. We met in a parking lot on the 17th, and she handed over this frightened animal, we talked for maybe 2 minutes at the most. Then I came home with this cat. 
I did let my kitten look at the cat briefly, but [after a bit] decided to quarantine the new cat into my son's vacant room. I finally got the chance to look over the cat, and became alarmed at a few things.
SHe has the extreme point, but her nose is very very small. When she breathes in the little flaps flap close making it hard for her to breathe. From what I understand from other breeders, this cat will need a surgery to correct the breathing problem. I noticed feline acne on her chin, and 2 scabs under her nose. When she pants(which is often) she has terrible halitosis-- I MEAN TERRIBLE! The breeder told me the cat has had 3 successful litters, and obviously the last one was in the past 2-3 months based on her very very very slender frame. 
She has food, water, litter box, scratching post in my son's room. She has pooed on the carpet, peed on the carpet, and meowed the whole time. I understand she is stressed, and with a little coaxing she comes out to be petted. 

Ok at this point I started to get those weird vibes in my stomach, like maybe I made the wrong decision. I am sitting here wishing that I didn't talk my husband into this, and wondering what did I get myself into. My daughter really adores this cat, but then, my daughter is 5, she loves everything. 
I love my husband, and we never have fights or problems.... well right now, we have a major one-- he isn't talking to me, and refuses to acknowledge the new cat. 
Right now, I feel real bad-- but I don't think I can handle this situation-- I was told I am getting a healthy cat, but she obviously isn't. I just want to kick myself for jumping into this--
I really think I want to give the cat back. I have contacted the breeder via email, but did not say exactly come get her i don't want her... but I think tomorrow I will. Deep down I know I don't want to keep this cat, the cat has so many health and behavioral issues, and it hasn't even been 24 hours-- 

Ok.. so I am a bad person....


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## jazzo (Apr 19, 2005)

I'm sorry  I don't think there's any easy answer on this one. I, for one, would not and could not tolerate pee and poo on my carpet. I know there are people who can, and they may shame me, but I just can't live like that.

Maybe if I tell you a bit of my story, you'll feel better. I adopted Sampson on 5/15/05 and gave him back on 5/18/05... because he was sick and peed on the carpet. I felt the same way as you did, it was too much. I had lost my other cat on 5/11/05 and yes, I probably jumped too soon into getting another one, but like you, I thought I was getting a healthy cat. I brought him to the vet the next day after I got him because he was pooing blood  The vet told me that he wasn't sure what it was, but I should bring him back for more tests. I wasn't prepared for this. I had just spent countless $$$ on my last cat. Having to pay for a checkup of a new cat or neutering is one thing, but gosh I didn't want to go into the visit and research deal again... but I did keep him and tried to decided what to do. He continued to poo blood, and I was giving him medication and on the 4th day I had him, I noticed he peed on the carpet  I know, I felt bad too, like you, but it was all I could take. The pee wasn't such a bad thing, I think maybe I could have worked with it, but it was the "unknown" of the medical too.

Anyway, to make a long story back I took him back to the shelter that night and cried the whole way. Well to my surprise, the shelter was extremely apologetic for adopting him out being so sick. I found out that he had coccidia and round worm, and a bad URI. I continued to miss him, and went to see him at the shelter almost every day. He was so sick in his cage, I felt terrible. Well once he started to get better, the shelter asked if I was interested in adopting him again, I was shocked!!, as I thought for sure that they woud be extremely mad at me, but you know, they understood. So I waited a bit and I did re-adopt him  He's here with me now since Monday and he's doing fine. I think his pee incident was due to stress and probably being sick, and possibly me having the one litter box in the back bathroom. I now have two litterboxes for him, one in the kitchen, and one in the front bathroom, LOL!! He uses both!!, LOL!!... but I'll pull one eventually.

Anyway, my point here is that you can only do what you can do. I think there are people who are prepared to deal with sick cats, and maybe people who are more able to have cats pee and poo in their house and it doesn't bother them. There are others that it does. 

So if the cat is sick, and he is wrecking your house, then I would give him back  I know it's horrible, but what are your other options.... I personally couldn't have a cat peeing and pooing in my house. If that makes me a bad animal lover, oh well... but that is what and who I am.

So you can either take him to the vet and try to determine if he is sick and maybe his peeing and pooing is due to that, or you can send him back. I think his meowing in the room would go away eventually as that is just stress of him getting acclimated to your house.

In anycase, please don't feel bad... we do what we can with what we have and that's all we can do. You obviously are good mommy to your other cat, so you're far from a horrible person. It's just a bad situation to be in, and unfortunately isn't going to be one that will be resolved easily.

Good luck... keep us updated as to what you decide to do.

Annie


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## Hippyhart (Jul 4, 2004)

Have you taken her to the vet? I've only had one instance with peeing on the carpet, and it turned out my cat was sick too.

I would not beat yourself up over this -- the breeder should've told you about her health conditions before you got her. Maybe you could take her to the vet and find out exactly what they think the situation is, if she will require surgery, what they can give you for the bad breath, etc., then contact the breeder to see how she wants to handle it. 

Poor girl.


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## BoscosMum (Apr 29, 2004)

The most important thing is...your marriage!
You should talk with him and tell him you are truly sorry,
try to make a plan for a solution...if that means return the cat..
then return the cat.
I know how men can be with animals and their limits.


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## Megan1216 (Nov 28, 2004)

I think it would be fair to give the cat back if you don't want it. Obvisouly, you'll feel miserable,, the cat will sense it. Also, the breeder should have told you about the conditions.


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## JackieT (Jan 29, 2005)

Yes, I think I will give the cat back--- I hate being put into this situation-- I truly did want another cat... have had many opportunities to get cat/kittens...
I agree with boscosmum-- not worth putting strain on marriage. We have a great marriage, very strong-- but my husband is very very mad at the situation, and now I am too. I am grown up enough to admit I made a huge error. My mistake was thinking if I got a retired breeder female cat from a reputable breeder well know in CFA I should be fine, right? well, I was wrong.
My daughter is not understanding the situation-- as I sit here typing, she is in the room with the cat. She wants to keep the cat, I just am not prepared for that. Sure, the cat can be loving when she wants... but I feel like the worst person when I can be in there with her thinking"I don't feel anything , no love for this animal"
Don't get me wrong, I love animals-- I just don't feel that special feeling I had like when I got my kitten.

And the cat was meowing ALL NIGHT!
So what did my husband do..... he opened the door to let her out! I said NO! She is being quarantined-- he just left for work, leaving me to chase this cat.... ug... and to top it all off the breeder still hasn't responded to my emails..... I may call her later today-- but I am a coward-- much easier to think out what you are to type, than say it on phone...


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

I think your weird vibes in your stomach are telling you something. Like maybe this was done way too fast and for the wrong reasons. If the breeder will take the cat back, I think that's what you should do. And then take a break, and start over from scratch, and find yourself the RIGHT cat for you and your family. Sometimes these things work out -- consider jazzo's story -- but seeing you don't have the support of your family, I think taking the cat back, if you can, is the right move both for you and the cat. Just my opinion. 

edit->I just hope you CAN give the cat back. It sounds suspiciously like someone who wanted to get rid of a cat, no questions asked, and no warranty given. If you know what I mean. :?


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## Megan1216 (Nov 28, 2004)

You made the righ choice. I'm sorry for the situation you were put in. I'm sure, once you're prepared, you can sit down I talk with everyone, see how they feel about getting another cat, when the time comes later on. I know you're a true animal lover because you're doing the right thing for your cat. :wink:


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

This upsets me to no end! What infuriates me is that _some_ Persian breeders are so insistent on the flat face that they are damaging the breed. I believe she probably was a breeding queen, because that breeder probably wanted to further flatten the faces of her future litters. The welfare of the breed should come first, not some extreme feature! Oh, this makes me angry!

Jackie, you do what you think is right. There is no doubt you were duped.  I'm sure you feel sorry for the cat, but this breeder evidently wanted to hand this problem over to someone else. That is so unethical!


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## JackieT (Jan 29, 2005)

ok... I am a little relieved to see no one is hating me for not wanting to keep her. I do love animals-- I really really do. The cat has obviously been through a lot.
The breeder finally contacted me via email stating if I want to return her, I would have to meet her in the same place tomorrow at 4pm. I have called her cellphone and am waiting for a reply. I do feel like a bad person. I just sat through an hour long yellmatch from my own mom. She thinks I should keep the cat, and how dare I get rid of her...

Jeanie-- I agree with your assessment. This cat SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN BRED, and has obviously been bred to get the extreme face. The cat is very underweight, and she is only 2-- already has had 3 litters-- now I don't know if that is the typical amount or not... 


Now, not to sound hypocritcal, my little Himalayan has the extreme point, but from what other persian lovers have said, there is a different levels of EXTREME point... 
I feel so terrible.. my daughter is crying-- and I AM TO BLAME.. my little girl JEnny is only 5, and I really don't like myself right now. I am hurting my daughter's feelings, she wants to keep the cat... it is heartbreaking listening to her rationalize keeping the cat....


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## emma_pen (Nov 2, 2004)

Will the 'breeder' breed her again? Maybe this poor cat would be better off being rehomed from a Persian rescue society rather than going back to someone who will literally give her to anybody despite her being unhealthy. I don't necessarily think the going to the toilet on the carpet is a real behavioural problem - she is stressed and frightened. Are there breed specific rescue societies in the US you could contact?


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

I think Emma's idea is excellent! That way you would be protecting her from that woman.


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## Hippyhart (Jul 4, 2004)

That would be my fear too -- this woman is either going to breed her again, sell her to another breeder, or just dump her (I think you said she had to get rid of her?).

I found this link but didn't read it too closely...maybe it will help.
http://persiancatrescue.org/rescues.htm


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## JoeyM (Mar 1, 2005)

emma_pen said:


> I don't necessarily think the going to the toilet on the carpet is a real behavioural problem - she is stressed and frightened.



Exactly!!! No living thing is perfect, expecially during a tramatic change in life style.


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## JackieT (Jan 29, 2005)

Maybe I am just not cut out to have another cat.... 

She has blood in her urine--- I don't know if that means she is in heat right now or UTI... 

The breeder promised me that the cat will be rehomed or might just stay and live with her.

Believe me.. I am still going back and forth in my head whether to keep her...


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## spacemonkey (Aug 12, 2004)

I also suggest finding a rescue and *not* letting this poor cat go back to that "breeder". You may not be able to keep her, but you can at least rest assured she'll be taken care of


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## Hippyhart (Jul 4, 2004)

JackieT said:


> She has blood in her urine--- I don't know if that means she is in heat right now or UTI...


This is not a sign that she is in heat -- she is very ill!!!


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## BoscosMum (Apr 29, 2004)

Visible blood in urine is BAD...no doubt she is in a ton of pain also!
Awe poor poor kitty! 
I cant believe the breeder let her get so sick.


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

I agree, strongly! Please get her some medical care.


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## JackieT (Jan 29, 2005)

Ok.. I have brought the blood in the urine to the breeders attention. She has given me the choice of either I bring the cat in myself to vet(which would be emercency visit since it is weekend) and get reimbursed by her, or let her bring the cat in, and she would give me the updates on the cat's health...

I understand everyone here would like me to "rescue" her... I am not in the best shape to do so... again, it was quite poor timing on getting this cat.... 
before people jump the gun and get mad at me, in my defense I am dealing with a MAJOR health issue. I am only 25, and have to go in to the hospital Tuesday to have surgery... I have been diagnosed in past with preinvasive cervical cancer, and the docors fear it may have come back.. hopefully it hasn't spread. The last time it was easy for the doctors to remove, not requiring chemotherapy and radiation and possible hysterectomy. I won't know if I need these other radical treatments until the results from the biopsies are back, and what the doctors find.
So there you have it.. right now I am being selfish and worring about myself, my children, my husband...


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## spacemonkey (Aug 12, 2004)

**HUGS**

No one has asked you to rescue the cat. Only to place her _with_ a rescue so that they can properly care for her.


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## roseeden (May 18, 2005)

I had known a dog who had been diagnosed with a heart murmur when he was one. He also had allergies for almost everything. The dog went ahead and lived to be 21.

Personally, I am wondering if it is possible for the cat to gain a little weight before you give her away. I know that cervical cancer is expensive and I know that you should ALWAYS choose YOUR medical care first before the cat's medical care. No matter what other people may tell you, cats are not people. A pair of cats would produce more offspring than a pair of humans. It is much more important for you to get well before the cat gets well.

I know that a lot of cat forum people might be very upset about this, but I just have to ask. How long do you think this cat can live without medical intervention??? You might try to give the cat some tea made of dandelion blossoms. You might also want to give the cat a lot of fatty kitten food so the cat could gain at least 1/2 pound before you give her away. I know that you are feeling guility right now not being able to keep this cat. I feel your pain. I am in the process myself struggling to decide whether I can afford keep one of my kittens right now. I think that you will feel a lot better of the situation if you can at least make a difference in this poor unloved cat's life before you give her away.

As for the peeing and pooping on the carpet and meowing all night. I really doubt that the breeder would bother to keep this cat if the cat in the first place if the cat was doing it in the breeders house. If the breeder was cruel enough to breed her three times for the last year (not counting the kitten stage of the cat) it is like getting pregnant every five month or so for this poor cat. Considering that the cat's gestation period is about 63 days, and it takes about 84 days for a litter of kittens to be weaned, the poor cat was CONSTANTLY pregnant and nursing since she was sexually mature!!! No wonder the cat is so skinny!!! It is morally reprehensible. :evil: :evil: :evil: I doubt that any breeder who was cruel enough to do that would tolerate cats meowing all night and peeing and pooping on the carpet. I think it is a medical, rather than behavioral, incident.

Good luck for everything. :!:


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## zoeae (Feb 21, 2005)

I seriously understand how you feel. 

I will put in my own opinion here. You are under so much stress right now with kids, husband and especially illness, that you should do what is the very best thing to do for you. If the breeder has said she will take her to the vet, then just trust that. You can not emotionally be responsible for the actions of the breeder, and you should not feel responsible for the cat and her condition. You did not do this to her, the breeder did, and the same breeder should be held responsible. 

I am not trying to sound cold and heartless as far as the cat is concerned, but I do entirely understand trying to deal with all the issues that you are dealing with and worrying about what this unreputable breeder has plopped in your lap. Right now you need to worry about your own health and happiness, and keeping yourself around for your family. 

big ****hugs**** and do take care of yourself.


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## roseeden (May 18, 2005)

If you DO keep the cat, which you probably won't, please DO NOT feel like you are morally obligated to take the cat to the vet. Yes, I know the cat is very ill. Yes, I know the cat is visably suffering. And yes, I am a nasty witch who would just say whatever she wants.......cervical cancer is expensive and if you do have a relapse, which I think you most likely will not, than your health is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than the cat's health.

Even a cat who is visably suffering would feel much better and look much better after some quality, nutritious, and fatty kitten food. Is the cat agressive??? Out of your first post about reasons you are not keeping the cat you did not mention if the cat is aggressive or not. If a cat is not aggressive than she could be rehomed easily as soon as she gains a little weight. 

Hey, not many people could refuse a pure-bred, breeding quality, CFA-registered Persian. I understand exactly why you begged for the cat, and you are not obligated to keep it. If your husband does not like the cat the cat would probably be miserable anyway. However, I suspect that both you and your husband's feelings will change as soon as the biopsy results come back and you find out that you are cancer-free. I am praying about that right now. :love2

I used to hate Jade a lot. Actually, I abhorred him. My ex-roommate brought him home and tried to adopt him. After two weeks, she announced that her parents were cat-haters and would disown her if she kept Jade, especially since Jade was black. I was forced to keep Jade and provide for him while my roommate criticized my choices of food and litter (she thought all of my holistic foods were generic off-brands) Jade peed on my bed almost everyday. He ate a lot of my notes. He chewed through my perscription eyeglasses. He chewed through my headphones. He ate all the plants and knocked the soil around all over the apartment. He dug holes in the screens trying to get out and he dashed out everytime somebody opens the door. Many times I had to look for him for hours in the middle of the night, fearing that my ex-roommate would wake up and find him gone. He used my shoes and my curtains as scratch posts. When I brought him to visit my boyfriend's parents Jade aggrevated their cat so much that she destroyed $700 worth of stuff. I was very allergic to him. He was the scrawniest, ugliest kitten ever with huge ears and a triangle head and reddish-black wiggly stripes running all over and lots of dandruff. He had fleas and diarrhea. He pooped out wiggly worms. I also hated him because he was black and I had a lot of bad luck last year. I was very superstitous back then.

However, as soon as my ex-roommate left, I realized how much I loved him. How he was tender and sweet......docile and caring. I only resented Jade because my roommate forced me to take care of him. Jade is an angelic cat. He comes and kneads me every single night and sleep with me every single night. He is smart, funny, beautiful,athletic, and perfect. I rescued three more black cats after that, but nobody is ever as wonderful as my Jade. He is literally my favorite cat. Watching him dash to me every single day just makes my day. His fur is very shiny, almost mirror-like, and beautiful. He has beautiful bright lemony green yellow, round, large, and alert eyes.

I am just saying that feelings change a lot over time...However, since your husband was against getting another cat in the first place it would take the Persian a lot of effort to win him over. The Persian cat has to be an angelic, perfect, and incredibly patient cat like my Jade.


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## spacemonkey (Aug 12, 2004)

I found a no-kill rescue in Las Vegas. Please consider contacting them, they should be able to help:

http://justinsstory.freewebpages.org/page4.htm

*fingers crossed*


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## Nero the Sable (Oct 28, 2004)

I had the same second thoughts with Kiley and Momo if that's any indication... however, they weren't extremely ill when I got them either.

I think in your situation - I would get the cat patched up at the breeder's expense (if she is offering) and either keep her or place her with a rescue. The little girl might be a lot nicer and more pleasant if she is healthy.


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

Jackie, we all love cats and want the best for yours. Regardless of what you do, however, please put yourself first. You don't need stress right now. Concentrate of your health. I'll be praying for you. Please keep us informed of your condition. 

I hope you can find a way to rehome your cat without giving it back to the breeder, but first priority has to be you and your family. God bless you, touch you with His healing hand, and guide you with your decisions. He cares about His little creatures, but remember, you are His child, and His love for you is beyond comprehension! We care too! Here's a big hug for you!


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