# Why is my kitten so scared of my boyfriend?



## KiwinRudy (Dec 12, 2009)

I adopted my kitten, Rudy, about a month ago. He's currently about 4 months old. When I first got him he was extremely loving to both me and my boyfriend, but cautiously so. Now, he absolutely adores me (and my other cat) but refuses to even be in the same room as my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I live together so this is becoming a big problem. And, it was my boyfriend who wanted another cat!

The only thing that I can think is that maybe Rudy was abused earlier in life by a male. This is entirely possible given the history I know about him. At about 2 months old he was found in a bag in a canal. All his brothers and sisters died from it.

Does anyone have any idea how I can get Rudy to overcome his fear of my boyfriend and restore harmony in this household?

I appreciate it!


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Welcome to CatForum and I hope we can help Rudy. IMO, you need to let the boyfriend be The Bringer of Good Things. He needs to feed the cats. He needs to offer treats to the cats. He needs to initiate play sessions with the cats, using things like Cat Charmer ~ a fleece ribbon on a wand and Da Bird ~ a clump of feathers at the end of a string/wand and a hand-held laser light he can run all over the house for the kitties to chase.

Something else I think could be helpful to consider, is odor. It is possible that your boyfriend smells like something the kitty associates with being 'bad' or 'dangerous'. Now, your bf cannot help his personal odor, but maybe he could change scents from whatever cologne, deodorant, shampoo or soap he is using to a different one. Also, you could try using Feliway plug ins, they work like air-fresheners but they put cat-calming pheromones in the air that trigger a response in the cat's brain to be mellow and think things are okay, calming nervous kitties. Another product that gives good results is Rescue Remedy, as it works similarly in relaxing the kitty, _but I think it is a liquid you add to their water?_ 

Anyhow, good luck and hopefully other members will join in and add more advice.
heidi =^..^=


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## imissmycats (Dec 10, 2009)

What Heidi says is true. Help your cat associate positive things with your boyfriend. Feeding, treats, petting.

This is completely out of the air- and I'm interested to hear what others might think- what about getting the guy's scent on a blanket or something that you would put in your cat's favorite sleeping spots? I've never tried it, but it seems like it might help.


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