# Do kitties really get more affectionate as they get older?



## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

A couple people have made comments on here about their cat getting more affectionate, or maybe becoming a lap cat for the first time, as they got older. Has anyone experienced that? Can you tell me about it? I guess I want to hold out the hope for Rookie, who is very cool with being pet and always wants to be around us, but wouldn't get on a lap if you begged her.


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## Kelae (Sep 4, 2004)

The girls are four and a half now and will both sit with me but they have to initiate it. I cannot pick them up and curl up on the couch with them. When they were younger they didn't join me as often so I guess they've calmed down a bit and are more interested in lounging but I'll be very surprised if I can ever initiate the cuddle session no matter how old they get.


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## AddFran (Jul 10, 2004)

I have found with every kitty I have every had that they become more independent as they age and cuddle much less than they did when they were kittens or younger in age.


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

I've experienced it both ways: two of my cats becoming more affectionate and one becoming less so. So I don't know; I suppose it depends on the cat and what kind of relationship you have with them.


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## Leazie (Apr 14, 2007)

All of our adults have gotten more affectionate. I am hoping that holds true with Molly Brown also.


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## Putty-n-Puma (Aug 13, 2007)

The three cats I've had throughout my life have definitely gotten more affectionate as they've gotten older. There's no set age, but they all have. Don't worry, there's still hope for yours


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## Kittys Mom (May 7, 2004)

How about this one! Kitty used to be super standoffish, would never lay on my lap or on me.

As she got older, she started doing this. In fact she would sleep all night right on my chest. Very cute.

As she got even older, she stopped doing this...and now she very, very rarely sits on my lap. These lap sitting sessions never last more than about 20 seconds.

I think that, like people, cats change their whole lives through...


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## Jet Green (Nov 28, 2005)

You are all scaring me. 8O My cats are unbelievably needy, and I've been patiently waiting for them to get more independent as they get older, as all my past cats have...Now you're telling me it might go the other way???? 8O 8O 8O


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## coaster (Dec 1, 2004)

They keep us guessing. That's all we know for sure. :lol:


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

All of our cats want to be on me, all the time. 
Computer/internet surfing? One is usually in my lap, one smushed behind me between my rump and the chair back and several on the desk, waiting for the lap cat to vacate so they can claim my lap. 
Watching tv? I've usually got 2-5 resting on/around me on the recliner with several nearby, waiting for room. Some jump on anyways and plop down, making room, forcing other cats off and the real fun is when one complains and I've got two swatters/hissers on my lap with claws flying past my nose. Oh, joy!
Cooking? Watch my step or I'll step on a cat.
Eating? They are all watching me eat.
Going to the bathroom/shower? They watch me and cry because I'm standing in falling water and they can't come close. Oh, the horrors!
It usually isn't too bad, I don't mind them being all over me. I've just learned to change clothes JUST before I exit the house and DO NOT SIT DOWN so I can wear clothing in public that is hair-free. Mostly.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

Wow Heidi, that's amazing you ended up with all the touchy-feely cats! I wish I could trade you 25% of your cat-cling for 25% of Rookie's standoffishness.

Everyone else, interesting comments! I hadn't heard people say it can go in the other direction (i.e., from more affectionate to less) with age, so that's very interesting. You're right Coaster, they're just unpredictable.


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## horseplaypen (Apr 1, 2004)

I don't find that my cats are less affectionate, but they are less physical about their affection. They want to be around me more than they used to when they were kittens, but they aren't lap cats any more. When they were younger, as soon as I sat down at my computer I'd have a cat in my lap, and they would often take shifts. But if I wasn't sitting, they would usually be off minding their own business. Now, they are always in the room with me, on the computer table or on the couch or at the foot of my bed, but rarely sit in my lap any more. They all each definitely have their own personalities, that's for sure!


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## AddFran (Jul 10, 2004)

horseplaypen said:


> I don't find that my cats are less affectionate, but they are less physical about their affection. They want to be around me more than they used to when they were kittens, but they aren't lap cats any more. When they were younger, as soon as I sat down at my computer I'd have a cat in my lap, and they would often take shifts. But if I wasn't sitting, they would usually be off minding their own business. Now, they are always in the room with me, on the computer table or on the couch or at the foot of my bed, but rarely sit in my lap any more. They all each definitely have their own personalities, that's for sure!


YES! This is how mine are. Still want to be around, have to have an eye on me but not lap cats as much as they age.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

AddFran and Horseplaypen, that's exactly how Rookie is now. She's almost always in the same room as I am. As soon as I stand up to go somewhere, she jumps up and trots ahead of me, looking back every second to make sure I'm still following her. If I go upstairs to my bathroom, she's there at the door when I come out. She doesn't do the same thing with my boyfriend, just me.

It's actually kind of comical, but I do wish we had more of that tactile thing going on like you were describing at the computer.


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## Avalonia (Oct 7, 2007)

Emanon and Snow are both lap kitties and snugglers, but Snow was much more tempermental when he was younger so he has definitely mellowed out with age. I could definitely see cats getting more affectionate as they get older, but I guess it really depends on each individual cat. Don't give up hope yet!


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

Kittens are very needy, of course!  However, when they are adults, I have found that, with only one exception, my cats have become more affectionate as they get older.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

October said:


> If I go upstairs to my bathroom, she's there at the door when I come out.


This made me smile. If I close a door behind me, I usually have between 3 and 7 cats waiting for me. Hubby calls me the Pied Piper of cats.


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## tigerlily0 (Nov 2, 2007)

I've had two older (teenage) cats in recent years, and both have liked to sit on my lap, like a lot. I had attributed it more to that they were older and had health problems and maybe didn't feel so great and wanted comfort, or they were cold (from circulation problems) and wanted my body heat.


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

Arianwen is only very rarely a lap-kitty, but we seem to be becoming closer as she gets older. :luv Also, as I learn more of her language she is showing her affection more.


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## Nini (May 6, 2007)

Heidi n Q said:


> October said:
> 
> 
> > If I go upstairs to my bathroom, she's there at the door when I come out.
> ...


Same here... whenever I go to the bathroom and DARE close the door, all four cats are sitting in the hallway waiting for me when I come out. And if I DARE take too long, the meeping begins :lol:


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

You get meeps? That is so cute! I get "MEEEEEOOOOOWWWWWWW!" and/or they start pawing at the door trying to get it open.


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## Nini (May 6, 2007)

Heidi n Q said:


> You get meeps? That is so cute! I get "MEEEEEOOOOOWWWWWWW!" and/or they start pawing at the door trying to get it open.


Hahaha... I guess I should consider myself lucky, my kitties are still young and relatively naive, they haven't figured out just how much of a pain in the neck they can become, or how to wield their vocal powers!

It must be quite a sight in your house... "Looking for Heidi? Just follow the trail of cat hair!"


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## Jeanie (Jun 18, 2003)

In this year of political discussion I believe it is my patriotic duty to reserve the right of every kitty to supervise the bathroom. I don't close the door unless someone else is in the house. I believe kitties consider it *their* duty and privilege to monitor bathroom activity. (I can't explain it; I just know it's in their handbook!  )


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## DesnBaby (Apr 18, 2004)

Baby is very independent. But when I am watching t.v. downstairs with my sister she will come downstairs and meow to get our attention, it is so cute. If she eats downstairs I will take her and put her on my lap while I'm on the computer and she'll sleep for a while, while getting chin scratches, tummy rubs, etc. When she sleeps she stretches out and sometimes it get uncomfortable when she's on my lap and then she'll know when to leave and sometimes she'll knead on my lap and fall asleep, she is so cute. :lol: She has gotten more affectionate when she is older because she was a feral kitten.


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## Nini (May 6, 2007)

Jeanie said:


> In this year of political discussion I believe it is my patriotic duty to reserve the right of every kitty to supervise the bathroom. I don't close the door unless someone else is in the house. I believe kitties consider it *their* duty and privilege to monitor bathroom activity. (I can't explain it; I just know it's in their handbook!  )


Haha, I do the same thing! If I am by myself, all doors are open at all times :lol:


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

Arianwen does the same! Those bathroom monitor kitties; it must be a union rule. Of course they don't let any human see the handbook...
:lol: :lol:


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## Leazie (Apr 14, 2007)

Thankfully it's only my hubby and I in the house, so the bathroom door rarely gets closed all the way leaving the way for a kitty, or 2 to come visit. Taz must be in the bathroom if someone is taking a shower, and he protests loudly if he is not allowed to do his duty.

My problem is keeping Taz off my lap when I am sitting down in the bathroom. I believe he thinks he is a Union Boss 8O .


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

Boy, I haven't crossed that line about the bathroom yet. Rookie still gets a closed door on that one. :roll: Maybe *I'LL* get more affectionate with time.


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## Stephie (Feb 4, 2005)

Toby is more timid than independent but at 2 he is still pretty young yet. He does come for cuddles occasionally but they are few and far between and he runs away if I move to suddenly.

Willow on the other hand was a complete psychotic monster until about 4 or 5 months ago (which also coincided with me losing my dear old Smudge so maybe that had something to do with it to). She would never come for cuddles, in fact you were lucky to get through the day without her attacking you but she has completely changed. She still has a few willow wobbler moments but mainly you cannot sit down now without her jumping into your lap and giving you the love of your life. She even snuggles in bed with me now which is a real treat. I love it that she has become so affectionate


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## horseplaypen (Apr 1, 2004)

Jeanie said:


> I don't close the door unless someone else is in the house.


When my boyfriend and I were living in our first apartment, the bathroom door wouldn't close all the way because it was too swollen to fit in the frame, so we would just jam it closed, but if the cats wanted in (which they usually did) they could just push it open. We got used to them wandering in as they pleased and if we were engaged in private business in there, the bathroom was small enough that you could just lean over and push the door closed. When my mom came to visit us the first time (she is a very private person) she was just mortified the first time the cats intruded on her in the bathroom. I felt so bad. It's a good thing she likes cats, because it was also a one-bedroom apartment so she slept on an air mattress in the living room with the then one-year-old cats playing tag across the blankets all night.


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## Paloma (Apr 3, 2007)

AddFran said:


> horseplaypen said:
> 
> 
> > YES! This is how mine are. Still want to be around, have to have an eye on me but not lap cats as much as they age.


Ditto!


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