# Calling all first-time cat owners (veterans too!) :)



## Ted (Aug 28, 2011)

Hello all,

Well, a while back I had to bring my kitty (of six years - I had him since he was five weeks old - gasp!) to the Humane Society. I won't get into the personal details of why, and I ask that you please don't judge me. 

But I'm thinking of adopting another kitty. I'm a single male, 44 years old... no kids. School teacher.

If I do decide, I'll do it in the start of summer, when I have ample time to be at home and start him off on the right paw.  (at least hopefully nine weeks is ample time!)

In any case, I'm still deciding and figure that, if by the end of the school year, I still want a new roommate, then it's not an impulse feeling. It's something I really want.

I guess I'm wondering...to any first-time cat owners. What was it about the idea of a cat that drew you? What made you decide that you wanted to share your life with a friendly feline?

And to you long-time cat owners... if you can remember your "first time", please share your feelings as well.

I was a bit hesitant to start this because I know that on some pet forums people can be quite judgmental (maybe passionate is a better word!) if others (especially newbies to the forum) don't share their passion. I'm hoping that I can feel safe here. 

Thank you for your kind consideration. I have enjoyed seeing what I read here so it's fun to hear your cat stories and advice. Should I decide on getting a cat, I know this is a plethora of information here!


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## cooncatbob (May 27, 2011)

I didn't choose a cat, a cat chose me.
The girls where I worked rescued an abandon cat and that cat chose me to be her human.
For some reason Meme adored me and she escaped from the offices into the warehouse where I worked in the shop.
For several years she was the warehouse cat until she got locked out when I wasn't there and lost for 2 days.
Afterward I took her home even though my apartments didn't permit cats.
She spent the remaining years of her with me.
After she passed I knew I needed a cat in my life and I got another cat, Samantha who was with me for 15 1/2 years until stricken by cancer, she died in my arms.
I presently have Chiquita who's been a great comfort to me.
Are you prepared to care for a cat for 15-20 years and when they are old and feeble make the decision that they can't make for themselves and be there and comfort them as they pass from this life to the next.


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## Ted (Aug 28, 2011)

Thank you for your history, Bob. It was very inspirational and your cats are lucky to have you. 

If you don't mind my asking, do you have kids or others who live with you? I don't ask to pry, but I'm just curious.

Being single, with no wife and no girlfriend... I don't want to do this for jealous reasons (if that makes sense).

Again, I appreciate your contribution!


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## cooncatbob (May 27, 2011)

I was single when I had Meme and right afterwards got Samantha.
After I got Samantha I hooked up with my ex, we were a rather ordinary looking couple and Samantha was breathtakingly beautiful (see avatar) she was also Papa's spoiled little Princess.
My ex not being a cat person expected Samantha to listen to her and love her without her putting forth the effort required to bond.
Samantha was rather indifferent to my ex as she was to everyone but Papa.
We move into a home in the Sacramento area and my ex tamed a stray that was hanging around our house, this was Chiquita.
Not being knowledgeable about the proper way to introduce a new cat to the family we botched it and the 2 were never friends, this is one of my deep regrets.
Anyway the ex left and left her cat behind and for the past 10 years its been me and the 2 cats until May when 5 day after her 16th birthday Samantha was stricken with cancer, this was determined after a 1000 dollars worth of tests and scans, the only option was extensive surgery with even the best result being just a little more time.
I felt and feel that putting an elderly cat through that kind of surgery would have been torture for my beloved Samantha and I made the extremely painful decision to end her suffering and her life painlessly.
She had overnight gone form normal elderly cat to old and feeble, her coat and her eyes were dull and though it broke my heart I did what had to be done.
I'd do it again and given Chiquita age of 12 I will probably have to make that decision again in a couple of years.
It's the 1 condition that comes with the unconditional love that a pet gives us.


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## Ted (Aug 28, 2011)

Well, it's definitely a tribute to you that you've touched so many cats' lives.

Thank you for your heartfelt responses.


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## librarychick (May 25, 2008)

Ted said:


> Hello all,
> 
> Well, a while back I had to bring my kitty (of six years - I had him since he was five weeks old - gasp!) to the Humane Society. I won't get into the personal details of why, and I ask that you please don't judge me.
> 
> But I'm thinking of adopting another kitty. I'm a single male, 44 years old... no kids. School teacher.




Honestly before you think about adopting another cat you should carefully think about what caused you to give up your previous cat. I do believe that there are circumstances that would make giving up an animal or rehoming them nessecary, but before you get another cat you have to take into consideration the fact that those things may happen again and work to prevent them.

For example if you had to surrender your cat due to financial reasons I don't think you should even consider another animal, of any kind, until you've resolved those issues AND saved up a large amount in case vet care is needed and you've fallen on hard times again.

If you haven't resolved those issues then I think it's irresponsible to think about another animal. You'de just be surrendering them in a few years.




Ted said:


> If I do decide, I'll do it in the start of summer, when I have ample time to be at home and start him off on the right paw.  (at least hopefully nine weeks is ample time!)





Ted said:


> In any case, I'm still deciding and figure that, if by the end of the school year, I still want a new roommate, then it's not an impulse feeling. It's something I really want.




I respect that you do intend to take the time to think about it. I think that's a good idea since pet ownership is not something I think should be taken lightly and without thought.




Ted said:


> I guess I'm wondering...to any first-time cat owners. What was it about the idea of a cat that drew you? What made you decide that you wanted to share your life with a friendly feline?





Ted said:


> And to you long-time cat owners... if you can remember your "first time", please share your feelings as well.
> 
> I was a bit hesitant to start this because I know that on some pet forums people can be quite judgmental (maybe passionate is a better word!) if others (especially newbies to the forum) don't share their passion. I'm hoping that I can feel safe here.
> 
> Thank you for your kind consideration. I have enjoyed seeing what I read here so it's fun to hear your cat stories and advice. Should I decide on getting a cat, I know this is a plethora of information here!


Personally I got my cats because they needed me. All four of them kind of fell into my lap, and my heart. Jitzu clearly needed an owner who had patience and would care for her. Torri was abandoned by her parents, and needed vet care as well as basic kitten things. Doran was abandoned at 10 days, so he needed bottle feeding, love, and raising. Muffin we mostly kept because Doran needed a playmate, but we loved him as well.

I love my kitties and am thankful for them everyday. I can't even picture my life without them anymore. How boring would my home be without four little cold noses, four different meows calling me, and four naughty little brains always up to something.


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## Rebbie (Jul 11, 2011)

As someone who is picking up her first cat tomorrow (SQUEEEEEEE!!!!!!...Ahem.) I can say that I was lucky in that after many cuddly cats, I looked into this one's eyes and just... clicked. And it turns out he is perfect for me in almost every single way, so. Luck or fate? Who knows.

However, as for looking for a cat, a number of reasons. One, I love dogs and having companionship, but as a single worker who is going to be moving into a new apartment in the next couple of months, I knew a dog would not fit my lifestyle so much. 1) I wouldn't be there to take him/her out to the bathroom outside, 2) I may be too tired to walk a dog 30 minutes to a hour with a soon to be semi-crazy work schedule some days, 3) Cats are more low energy (usually), which I like.

I like that cats are obvious when they are happy, their purrs letting you know exactly what they like. I like that cats can be picked up easily (if they are the kind of cat that lets you). I like their personalities. 

And as for my soon-to-be-baby, I love how social he is. He goes around visiting and will just lean into a person, and he puts up with a lot and only after that warns. For instance, my dad kept 'gently' thumping the cat on the side like he does with the dogs when it was on his lap. After the fifth time, the cat turned around and held his fingers in his teeth to say a gentle 'no!'. Didn't bite or bat, just with ears back and tail lashing delivered how he felt about it. A lot of cats would swipe or bite down for less!

The best advice I can give is to list what you want in a cat. Do you want a 'secret admirer' type, who loves from afar but is rather aloof most the time? Or do you want a cat that is in all your business? A talker? A goofball? Write down what you want and consider it, it will help make a better match.

As for the forum; this forum has VERY nice people. Many are passionate, but there have been forums where people with personality conflicts with pets were advised to re-home or return, and so as long as you are a thoughtful animal lover you should be fine.


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## Ted (Aug 28, 2011)

Becky,

I respect your advice and thank you for your response. You bring up good points. 

Rebbie, 

It sounds like you have a wonderful match in your future! Very exciting and your new buddy sounds like a perfect companion for you! Do you have a name picked out for him yet? 

As far as this forum goes, it seems like a very friendly place.  The members' enthusiasm for their pets is quite contagious.

It's been find to hard a good forum as a fit. Some members want to be respected for their love of their animals, but don't always want to respect that other people may have a different level of "passion".

Then again, I guess I just have to take that into consideration when I hear responses, eh? 

I will say that reading all your stories and anecdotes is starting to rub off on me.

Again, thank you all who have contributed!


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## Rebbie (Jul 11, 2011)

His name will be Ariel, after the character in the tempest (because it fits his silver coat, and a hurricane just went through!), and a Archangel of healing in lore and/or one of the rebelling angels in Milton's 'A Paradise Lost' (because he is a Russian Blue mix, and they are also known as the Archangel cats). 

... I typed up another paragraph gushing about him, but realized what I was doing. *mumbles to herself about saving it for tomorrow.*


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## Ted (Aug 28, 2011)

I really like the name Ariel. My two favorite archangels are Gabriel and Michael, but not sure how "Gabe" or "Mike" would do for a kitty. 

And it's okay to gush. You're a proud mama.


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

My first cat was Cinderella. I was looking for patio furniture in the "free" section of Craigslist five years ago and saw an ad for Cinderella. I was finally living some place that allowed pets, so I went to see her. Long story short, house was full of animals (cats and dogs), the guys said they picked on Cinderella and she wouldn't share a litter box, so he'd been keeping her in the bathroom. 

For 9 months.

I didn't want her at that point. I was covered in her cat hair (she hadn't been groomed for months), plus I didn't need a cat with litter box issues in my new rental house. But he went to put her back in the bathroom and I asked if she knew her name? His response? _I don't know anymore, I don't really talk to her._ Well, that was it. I was going to take her and find her a better home. He sent me home with a used (nasty) carrier and her gross litter box and some cans of Chicken of the Sea tuna. 

I got her home, turned the lights down low and let her out to wander around. She spent quite a while under the bed, but eventually came out to inspect the tiny little house. To her delight, there were NO other animals. By the end of the night, she had made her way onto my bed and into my heart.

So, that's how my first cat adopted me. Totally unexpected. And I was so unprepared, didn't know what I was doing, so glad I found this place. 

And don't feel bad, I've rehomed a cat before. Sometimes things just don't work out and you don't really owe anyone an explanation.


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## christinaja (Aug 28, 2011)

I have always had cats. The only time I haven't had a kitty in my life was when I lived on the east coast for three years. If it wasn't expressly my cat, it was my mom's or my brother's, or even my employer's(when I was a nanny). 

The first time I had a cat choose me though was when I was about 4, almost 5. We lived on a lot of acreage in northeastern MO, and this big orange Maine **** mix came sauntering up to me at the barn and rubbed all over me. He followed me and my brother to the house. My mom was surprised, but happy to see him, and he was then given the moniker Big Tom. I wasn't too creative then. I was almost never seen without that big guy next to me. 

Nowadays, I choose to have cats for several reasons. I have been through a lot medically, and I cannot have any children other than my daughter. So, I have children that happen to be cats. It may sound crazy, but it helps me. I love that I can come home from a long day, and have one of them choose to snuggle up to me while I relax. They are a lot of fun, and I like to care for them. I also actually enjoy being responsible for them. Plus, my daughter is autistic, and they are therapeutic for her. She has trouble making friends with other children and has a lot of social issues, but she can always count on the kitties loving her and accepting her no matter what. It comforts her. There is nothing like the unconditional love that they offer. 

Most of the kitties I have had in life were(and are) hard-luck cases. Kitties that would have wound up in barns, feral, in a shelter, or dead. Rosalie was taken from a hoarding situation when she was a kitten. I had planned on bringing home her brother, but the people couldn't find him in the mess, and I couldn't just leave her there. Sasha was from an accidental litter by Rosalie. We found wonderful, loving, doting homes for her brothers, but kept her. Frodo had to have a leg amputated because of a silly band, and may have wound up in a shelter because my mom couldn't have him where she moved to. Arwen is the only kitten that I have ever bought from a breeder. Voldemort(who we are thinking of renaming), was another kitty that was probably shelter-bound if he wasn't rehomed before his owner moved.

I also would make sure that whatever reason you had for taking your kitty to the Humane Society is completely resolved before getting another one.


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## Ted (Aug 28, 2011)

Marie, I love that story. My faith has me not believing in coincidences. I truly believe you saw that ad for a reason and that you're Cinderella's hero.  And, judging by your signature banner, you've added to your little kitty kollection. 

Christina, thank you also for your story. I'm happy to hear that you've found a way to not only help yourself, but also help your daughter and the cats with whom you share your home. A very blessed situation.


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## jusjim (Jun 30, 2009)

I think you may be self-judging a bit. 

You don't mention what sort of cat you're thinking of. Are you thinking of sharing your home with an older cat? Maybe not a senior, but a cat of some years that has been surrendered for some reason.

Anyway, it occured to me that perhaps if you answered as many of the questions possible that are posed in this recent thread, it may help you decide if a cat is the companion for you.


http://www.catforum.com/forum/36-ca...ring-shelter-going-charge-adoptions-help.html

I understand that at most shelters you will be asked questions about previous feline companions.

My first cat was a kitten who used to help me play with toy soldiers more than 75 years ago.


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## Ted (Aug 28, 2011)

Hi JusJim, and thanks for your post!

Hmm, I didn't realize I may be self-judging...but perhaps you're right.

I haven't given much thought of the type of kitty I might want someday because, to be honest, I think I want to do more research and find out about the different breeds, ages, temperaments, etc.

I also want to learn more here (these forums) to help me make a more informed decision. I'm a teacher and lifelong learner, so I feel that the more equipped I am, the less anxiety (if any) I'll feel if/when I decide to become a papa to a kitty.

Hope that doesn't make me sound like I'm wishy-washy or picky (there I go self-judging again! LOL) but I feel that knowledge is power (my G.I. Joe days shining through!  )

Wow, 75 years ago! Impressive. Do you have any feline pals now?


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## Ted (Aug 28, 2011)

And thanks for that link, by the way... I've seen that thread. 

I'm a bit concerned about the question asking what happened to my cat.

I wonder if the fact that I had a cat, but had to rehome will work against my favor, especially if I go to the same Humane Society.

I have a feeling that adoption clinics may not be that forgiving (I'm not saying that's wrong... just making a guess here.  )

I guess if/when I decide to take in a kitty, I'll just have to leave it in God's hands. If it's meant to be, it will be...otherwise, I'll be out of luck. 

(Just thinking out loud...thanks for tolerating me!)


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## BotanyBlack (Apr 6, 2011)

Ted - sometimes things happen and cats get rehomed. Some reasons are better then others, but sometimes it just can't be helped. 

The fact you are going to look into everything you can and learn about your future feline friend is a great thing. Welcome to the forums. You will find alot of people here willing to answer your questions. Just remember to take some things with a grain of salt since many of us have a sense of humor that does not always carry in text :wink

I do warn you we do get opinionated about some issues.. but we all let each other have their say and agree to disagree sometimes.. don't take it too personal on some issues. lol. 

We would all love to hear what you are looking for in a companion and wish you luck in your search.


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

Ah, don't mean to go over it again, but I agree with the others. If the reason you rehomed the other cat is still in existence or there's a chance of it happening again, then perhaps it might not be a good idea to get a cat again. Otherwise, it's great that you're asking questions and doing research before getting a cat.

I admit I got Miu (my first one) without any research whatsoever. Within about a week or two, I was freaking out and so stressed I was breaking out in hives. I was seriously thinking of rehoming her and felt I bit off more than I can chew. However, after my sister reemed me out for giving up so soon and not taking responsiblity for my actions, I persevered and now, Miu is my fav out of my bunch (shhh...don't tell the others..).

This set the whole stage up for Cap'n Jack when he came sauntering over to my house one day. It was roughly a year after I got Miu so I had more cat experience. He kept turning up to stare at Miu or Rocky the dog. The fact that Miu stared him down or Rocky barked at him didn't deter him one bit. I finally trapped him after about a month of that since winter was coming. He's now all content being a 100% indoor cat. 

After almost a year, Miu is starting to accept him. (Her 'stop looking at me, you turd!' smackdowns have decreased noticeably over time.) And if she ends up beating him Rocky chases Miu away then goes back to check if Jack's okay.


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## Ted (Aug 28, 2011)

Alpaca said:


> Ah, don't mean to go over it again, but I agree with the others. If the reason you rehomed the other cat is still in existence or there's a chance of it happening again, then perhaps it might not be a good idea to get a cat again. Otherwise, it's great that you're asking questions and doing research before getting a cat.


Hehe, okay... point taken...loud and clear! 



> I admit I got Miu (my first one) without any research whatsoever. Within about a week or two, I was freaking out and so stressed I was breaking out in hives. I was seriously thinking of rehoming her and felt I bit off more than I can chew. However, after my sister reemed me out for giving up so soon and not taking responsiblity for my actions, I persevered and now, Miu is my fav out of my bunch (shhh...don't tell the others..).
> 
> This set the whole stage up for Cap'n Jack when he came sauntering over to my house one day. It was roughly a year after I got Miu so I had more cat experience. He kept turning up to stare at Miu or Rocky the dog. The fact that Miu stared him down or Rocky barked at him didn't deter him one bit. I finally trapped him after about a month of that since winter was coming. He's now all content being a 100% indoor cat.
> 
> After almost a year, Miu is starting to accept him. (Her 'stop looking at me, you turd!' smackdowns have decreased noticeably over time.) And if she ends up beating him Rocky chases Miu away then goes back to check if Jack's okay.


I'm glad you were persistent with Miu and now have a lifelong buddy!  Persistence pays off so I'll remember that if/when I choose to adopt!

Thank you for your story.


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## PZR's Mommy (Aug 19, 2011)

Ted,

I wouldn't worry too much about Humane Societies questioning your rehoming as long as it was a good reason and a responsible one.

We had to re-home one of my favorite cats when we had a baby. He was so attached to me he could not cope with the new little one. We found him a home where he was the only cat and child. The woman was a military wife and wanted someone to keep her company while her husband was deployed. Last we heard, he was living in Texas!

We took a break from cat ownership for a few years and worked on having kids. Once our kids were old enough, we decided to adopt another cat. (I have always had a cat). The humane society asked. We gave them the answer above and they were okay with it. Piper was actually my second pick. I actually wanted her sister, but when we played with Piper....well that was it. Something just clicked....

Last year, we adopted Zoey. Again, we were asked the same questions and gave the same answers. The interview process was a little more intense (it was a different H.S.), but they could see that Zoey would be going to a good home and would have a built in companion with Piper.

Hope this helps.

:kittyturn


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## jusjim (Jun 30, 2009)

Ted said:


> Do you have any feline pals now?


I have Missy. The shelter said she was 8, the document they gave me says 9, but I suspect they shaved a couple of years off her age. We've been together for 15 months now. She's a big orange tabby (ginger) and mostly she lets me have my own way. 

Before her I had another older cat, an elegant, dark tortie. She was the most beautiful cat I've ever known. She's now at the Rainbow Bridge due to metastasising lung cancer. 

There had been many years when I couldn't have a cat and I made do with befriending street cats and strays who would allow it.


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## Ted (Aug 28, 2011)

PZR's Mommy - thanks for the reassuring words as well as the story about your little bundles of fur.  I actually emailed the HS and they said there are not hardline "rules" that would stop me from adopting and they invited me to call them to discuss it "in person". Makes sense. In fact, I'm toying with the idea of volunteering at one of their satellite adoption stores... Petco... and think that may further my education (and give me purpose during my "off-times" (as rare as they may be!)) 

JusJim - Good to know you have another buddy. Sorry to hear about your departed kitty. Hoping Missy is giving you some good companionship.


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## nicole78 (Aug 13, 2011)

When I adopted my 1st kitty in 2006 it was because I had always loved cats and wanted one and finally I'd moved to an apartment which allowed cats. I lost her last November to cancer and was finally ready to adopt again this month.

I too tried to wait until I was ready so it wouldn't be an impulse & I wouldn't get the wrong type of cat for me. I found it's very important to ask many questions about the cat's personality before adopting & also to ask myself beforehand what cat personality would fit mine and my lifestyle/home.


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## Ted (Aug 28, 2011)

Nicole, that's my plan as well. It's matchmaking with whiskers so I want to make sure that it's a good match. So far, all I know is I want a male. LOL! I do like lap cats but with some independence and enjoys playing now and again.

Thanks for your story. Sorry to hear about your first kitty. atback


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## SpellQ (Dec 12, 2010)

Ted said:


> I really like the name Ariel. My two favorite archangels are Gabriel and Michael, but not sure how "Gabe" or "Mike" would do for a kitty.



My Gabe was pretty much the lovey-est kitty I've ever met. Definitely a love muffin who always had to be touching me. His name was perfect for him! He's the only kitty I've named long before I met him and thank goodness his name really fit him.

Looking forward to hearin more about your journey!


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## Ted (Aug 28, 2011)

Thanks, SpellQ! 

Actually, I always told myself if I ever had two sons, I'd name them Gabriel and Michael... I love both of those names.


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