# keeping a previously indoor/outdoor cat strictly outside.



## sam2c (Jul 16, 2005)

hi everyone. 

is it ok for a cat who has been an indoor/outdoor cat to be put strictly outside? would i be doing my cat physical or emotional harm? what do i need to do to make sure that he'll be ok? he comes by my window and crys sometimes and it just breaks my heart that i cant let him in. i try to spend atleast 1 hour playing with him every day. my cat is almost a year old. hes been fixed. I live in an apartment complex. we have atleast 5 oher cats near by, but they all seem to get along great. specially my cat ( i think hes in love with one of the other cats ). Any suggestions would be appreciated.


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## roseeden (May 18, 2005)

Strictly outside??? What are you going to do in a hail storm???

The cat has to be indoor sometimes.


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## micp879 (Mar 22, 2005)

Why does he have to be strictly outside all of a sudden? Im assuming it has something to do with rules of the apartment. Unfortunately, the last numberw I saw, the life expectancy is practically cut in half for cats that are outside all the time. Instead of maybe upwards of 15 years, its down around 7, because of things like larger predators, and cars. If your cat has been a combo inside/outside up until now, he probably wonders why he suddenly doesnt get to be inside with you at all. If possible, I would find a way to get him inside again.


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## roseeden (May 18, 2005)

How about you let him inside when the landlord is not watching?


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## Ioana (Jul 12, 2003)

Here is a thread that is similar to yours:
http://www.catforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=21900

Please, study the matter thoroughly before letting your kitty exclusively outside. 
The fact that there are more outdoors cats that yours gets along with doesn't mean that they are safe from dangers.
Plus, the fact that your cat is crying should tell you he doesn't like it. He might get over it and get used to it but he won't ever like it. He misses the one-on-one attention and the protection that you had offered him indoors. He always be in dangers if you will allow him to live his life outdoors.


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## sam2c (Jul 16, 2005)

thanks you for all your posts. i live in southern california, so no storms this time of year. the reason why i cant keep the cat indoors right now is because of a new born child and a family that believes "old wives tales" about cats being dangerous for baby's. the straw that broke the camels back was that the cat brought fleas into the house. that was intirely my fault though, cus i thought he wouldn't get fleas without treatment ( my neighbors told me her cats didn't get fleas and she never treated them). so i started to treat my cat with Frontline Plus, but he still gets a couple of fleas here and there. i know he doesn't pose a threat, but the family just wont have it anymore with me and the cat. I hope you guys dont think im some kind of monster to the cat or that im joking. i love my cat, and this past week has been **** for me and the cat. 

My brother's family (its his kid) will be moving in mid Fall, so i could have the cat in by then. But from your responses, it seems like im harming the cat, so ill try looking into other options. I talked to my friend and he said maybe he could hold on to him for a couple of months. thats a maybe however; depends on his parents reactions.


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## sam2c (Jul 16, 2005)

another question. with frontline treatment, is it still possible for fleas to infest your house (i.e begin biting humans)?. since treatment, ive seen a couple of fleas on my cat and he scratches himself sometimes. but everyone swears by frontline. i was thinking of going to the vet and getting a note from him stating that the cat is treated and that he wont bring in fleas to the house. that way i could get the guilt off my cat when the family starts yapping about fleas. also, i might be able to have the cat in my room all day long (granted, he wont bring in fleas to the house). but that means he'd be locked in a fairly small room all day. would that be better for the cat than being outside?


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## Ianthe (Jun 7, 2004)

Sorry your'e going through this.

In my opinion, it would be a LOT better for your cat to be kept in your room than outside. I think he would be happier and safer.

Frontline is usually amazing...I worked at a vet for awhile and I never saw anyone come back with fleas after using it...I would definately talk to your vet.


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## nanook (Jun 12, 2005)

I live in So. Cal. as well and the flees can be fierce! Frontline or Advantage will take care of your cat however flees do not live on your cat, they live in the environment and jump on your cat to feed. Something to think about: You and your family can bring flees into the house even if you didn't have a pet. I know several people who have had them and don't have animals. It's just part of living in this climate. Also, this year will probably be worse because of all the rains and the humidity we're going through right now. So definately treat your cat but let your family know that if they still see any it may have nothing to do with your cat.
As far as your cat being left outside I don't think it's a good idea. (for all the reasons said above. )Is there any way he can have access to your room through a window? So he can come and go if that's what he's used to? Otherwise I do think keeping him in is a better choice and taking him out for supervised outings. I wouldn't recommened leaving a cat out at night here as they too often become cayote snacks! And if your friend is reliable that might be a good plan too. 
I hope it works out and you can keep your kitty safe!


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## micp879 (Mar 22, 2005)

If he is the only animal in the house, and you can keep him indoors 100% of the time, you can try something like "Program" for cats. It is in essence birth control for fleas. So as long as the cat doesnt go outside and pick up new fleas, and as long as there are no other animals bringing fleas in the house, the "Program" may work. When the flea bites the cat, the "Program" pretty much makes the flea sterile, and the fleas cant reproduce. So as soon as that generation of fleas die off, there are no baby fleas left to replace them. Just a thought. I used "Program" in the past and had good result, very little scratching.


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## nanook (Jun 12, 2005)

One more thing. As far as the "old wive's tale" lots of people have infants and cats and I have yet to hear about a problem. I don't know if you can find this documented anywhere (it's kind of hard to disprove superstitions) but perhaps a talk with a vet or their pediatrician might help clear it up for them. Good luck.


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## sam2c (Jul 16, 2005)

ill take the cat to the vet on monday, and have him checked out for fleas and other problems. ill get a note from him too. my room does have a window to the outside, but im afraid other cats might get in as well when im not around, and that would just add to the problem. How about this idea:

i let him roam around in the day time, then at night, ill bring him into my room. that will give him the best of both worlds i guess. 

The problem is that im not around most of the day, so i cant surpervise the cat. i would very much like for the cat to become an indoor cat, but he seems so fond of the outdoors. how can i keep him happy insode my little room?


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## roseeden (May 18, 2005)

You can put a piece of furniture or something right in front of a window so the cat can look outside the window. You can then put a bird feeder outside the window so the cat can watch birds when you are gone. I personally have a dresser because I find commercial cat window perches to be way too small for my five cats.

Once a cat had been outside, it develops a craving for grass. You can try growing some barley grass.

Also, since outdoor cats crave water from streams, a water fountain is a must.

Petguard herbal flea collars work great for my cats.

The infant would not be harmed if you have a automatic litterbox. That way you would never have to touch the litter so there is no secondary transfer.

Please don't buy anything marked "indoor formula" as it is an excuse to put lots of corn in cat foods.

A cat tree would really help as it doubles as a supersized scratch post. You can build one yourself pretty cheaply or you can buy one from Wal-Mart for $35. My cats love to scratch on their $35 cat tree (I have to tie it to one leg of a table for stability)

Make sure you use scoopable clumping litter with a open litterbox (I prefer to use a clear storage box) because indoor/outdoor kitties can be really picky when it comes to pooping.


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## sam2c (Jul 16, 2005)

thanks shengmei. A couple of questions however. im not exactly sure what you mean by water fountain. Are you talking about those decorative bedside waterfalls that you plug into the power outlet? Also, do those automatic litter boxes really work? they look kind of gimicky to me.


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## jamdan (May 21, 2005)

I am going to be a little blunt here but believe me it's to help your cat. Nobody has responded yet that thinks leaving they're cats' outside is a good idea.

I assume you are under 18 years, and if not, go get a place of your own where you can have a cat.

If this is your parents' house you must respect their wishes, you are imposing on them. 

If you are under 18, and can get permission to keep him in your room, then take him outside on a leash when you are there with him. 

If you live in a one room apartment that's a shared place, the landlord deserves respect too. Maybe you could work out a bigger deposit or pay for carpet cleaning when you move on.

There are many horrible thing that could be the demise of you little fella. Find a pet rescue agentcy like 'Paws and Claws' and get a good home for him. There will always be more cats when you can have one.

They're are many good folks here trying to help you, and clarifying things for them to answer may help keep your cat alive. I don't mean to harp, but is it an apartment or you parents' house?

You also have a responcibilty like having a child that never completly grows up but that brings great joy. 

Very best of luck to you and you cat!


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## sam2c (Jul 16, 2005)

we live in an apartment, but its bought. there is no landrold and we are allowed to have cats. The cat was never been a problem until the fleas and the baby. fleas are my fault, but i cant take reposibility for the baby  . the baby is my brother's, hes trying to get his life together and in the mean time him and his wife are living with us. my mom recently left for a 2 month trip to another state. whihc leaves me, my brother and his wife in the house. two against one..you know. im fighting to get the cat in. ill keep you guys posted. i've had the cat for almost a year now, so i really dont want to give him up without a fight.


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## jennifer2 (Mar 5, 2005)

Well, it sounds to me like your brother and his wife are guests in your mothers house and have no say. What does your mom think of this?

I'd second the idea of just keeping the cat in your room at all times. It will only be until your brother leaves, he'll be fine.

Jennifer


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## Lisa 216 (Oct 25, 2004)

jennifer2 said:


> Well, it sounds to me like your brother and his wife are guests in your mothers house and have no say. What does your mom think of this?
> 
> I'd second the idea of just keeping the cat in your room at all times. It will only be until your brother leaves, he'll be fine.


I agree. Didn't your brother and his wife know you had a kitten before they moved in? What did they think you were going to do -- get rid of it?

Definitely talk to your mom about this. Keeping the cat in your room is more than fair.


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## Ianthe (Jun 7, 2004)

> Didn't your brother and his wife know you had a kitten before they moved in? What did they think you were going to do -- get rid of it?


I didn't even think of this! They must have known you had a catbefore theyasked to move in, right? If you are going to impose yourself in someones' home, I don;t think you should expect them to get rid of their pets for you!!


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## jamdan (May 21, 2005)

Yes, keep him in your room then, stand your ground but be polite about it. Your mom should back you being that you already lived there first.

Don't tolerate any cruelty toward you cat either, call 911 if necessary the police can help resolve problems.

It is on them to watch the baby. I have a cat that can get a good grip on my leg and pull surprizingly hard. She shouldn't be around children that are left unattended.

When my brother was down he came to stay with me. After I figured out he was not intending to help pay for any bills I told him two weeks is fine, but if you stay all month you have to pay half the rent. He was out a few days later. 

You never really appreciate your brothers and sisters until your all older.


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## sam2c (Jul 16, 2005)

hi everyone,

sorry for not responding for a couple of days. Well here is an update, and i think you will all be happy to hear it, as i am

I've been sneaking Paco into my room late at night. so he has a nice warm place to sleep at night.

I also i took paco to the vet to have him checked. He had two fleas on him, but they were both "half-dead". He gave me a few capstar tablets also to give to Paco every two weeks. I had the vet run some blood test on him too. Everything turned out good. Im getting him microchipped this week also.

I also got the approval of my friend to have Paco stay there for a few months until my brother leaves. I figured rather than ram heads with the family, i should just find a nice home for Paco. 

Now this raises a few other problems. My friend has his own cat. Although Paco is a very nice to other cats, im not too sure about how my friends cat will react to paco. My friends cat is fairly old (about 7) and female, while paco is less than a year old and male. Another thing im worried about is that Paco might run away from my friends house and try to return to my place. My friends house is less than 2 miles away. Their cat is indoor/outdoor so they cant keep paco inside either, but the good thing is that they live on the second floor so their cat only goes to the balcony and the roof, but almost never to the ground floor. But, you could gain access to the stairs from the roof top, so if the cat really wanted to she could go downstair. How can i assure that Paco wont just run away?


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## jamdan (May 21, 2005)

Very good to see your still hanging in there. It's sad you can't just keep him in your room without all the hassle. Throw your brother out. 

I think the cat's probally won't get along because the male will want to be dominate. Your cat won't be familiar with his surrondings, so he may get wonder off easily. 

You may want to consider some kind of boarding house for pets, and ask your family to help pay for it until they move on. An animal shelter may even be able to help on a short term basis.

What does your family expect , for you to just turn the cat loose?


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## katgrl82 (May 31, 2005)

It sounds like having your friend take care of the cat for a couple months will bring on even more problems such as the cats not getting along, your cat getting lost, the cats climbing on the roof and falling off, etc. It is YOUR parents house and YOUR CAT, your brother should not have any say. If he's so worried, why not just shut the door to the baby's room or just keep the cat in your room with the door closed. Are they worried about the cat scratching the baby or what exactly are they worried about? If you love your cat, stand firm on this issue. Your brother is a guest in your home and knew you had a cat. If he doesn't like it he should stay someplace else, not your cat.


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## moggiegirl (May 15, 2005)

Katgrl82 is right. And if your brother was my brother I would really tell him off, but I don't know what kind of brother you have so I can't say what approach you should use, nice or not so nice. I would not be nice but that's me. You should not have your cat wondering outside during the day. Keep kitty in your room for the time being. Don't let it be a long term solution though because a cat can't be happy long term in just a single bedroom. It needs the entire house or apartment. Try to insist on keeping kitty inside with only supervised outside access. Call your mom and let her have the final say. If your mother does not support you then you need to find your cat another home. The cat is the most important consideration in this situation because the cat's life is in danger if it is outside a lot, not your brother, your wife, or the baby. If someone said something to me about my cat stealing their baby's breath and was a guest in my home I would boot them out homeless without a care in the world because I would be angry. But that's me. I'm not suggesting you do this. It's your parents home after all and your mom needs to take charge of this. What a cat-hating insensitive brother you have.


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## roseeden (May 18, 2005)

sam2c said:


> thanks shengmei. A couple of questions however. im not exactly sure what you mean by water fountain. Are you talking about those decorative bedside waterfalls that you plug into the power outlet? Also, do those automatic litter boxes really work? they look kind of gimicky to me.


I had a Petmate Fresh Flow Deluxe, but I wished I had gotten a decorative bedside waterfall. It would then be decorative as well as functional.

As far as automatic litter boxes, I have heard very good things about Littermaid Mega Deluxe.

My fiance's brother's girlfriend came to my apartment last summer because she had some financial troubles. She never paid a cent. She got rid of my cat. She tried to kill me.

I don't like the concept of taking in somebody to help him/her get on their feet..... If a person cannot stand on their own feet, why invite trouble?


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## sam2c (Jul 16, 2005)

thanks for all the replys. My brother is not going anywhere. Hes here to stay. 
Ill get the cat microchipped, then hes off to my friends house on monday. Ill try it out and see if the cats get along. if they do, then i dont see a reason why Paco would be in more danger at my friends house than he is here. Paco is a very social cat, ive never seen him fights with the cats at our apartment complex. i hope it will be the same with my friends cat.

Also, do you guys know of any boarding houses for cats in the los angeles area?


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## roseeden (May 18, 2005)

How many rooms are in the apartment?

Don't let your brother ever make you sleep in the living room!!! (speaking from experience)


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## sam2c (Jul 16, 2005)

2 bedrooms. I have my own room.

Here is what i want you guys to understand. If anything happens to their kid, their gonna say its the cat. If the baby sneezes, they'll probably say its the cat. Their "quack" of a pediatrician even told them that the cat is dangerous for the baby. they say the fur might get into the baby's lung, or that fleas might bite the baby and give him disease. I know this is all BS. If that was the case, half the children in America would be sick and dying. These beliefs are all cultural. Im Persian (no, im not a cat), but raised here so i know better than to belive these things. But ask an older Persian, and most likely they will tell you that cat fur gets lodged in your lungs and then you die!. Our next door neighboor is Persian and she told my sister-in-law the very same thing! what kind of $hit is that! People either need to back up their words with facts and figures or just STFU.

But, I cant change their beliefs and suspisions, and they cants change mine. The chips are stacked against me. I was in tears last night cus i could feel how lonely Paco was as i held him, and i cant help it but to blame myself for his pain. I cant win this fight. i have to try to find Paco a temporary house or else **** be living outside for the next four months. this experience has changed my view of my family forever. they're all pretty much against me in this ordeal. ill never look at them the same again. how could someone claim to be educated and believe in these things? and how could someone love their child when they cant feel for an animal?

what i want you guys is to educate me on what i could do to keep paco safe and happy when take him to his new home.


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## Brynn (Jun 25, 2005)

I almost hate to say this, because I know you love Paco and he loves you, but you may want to consider finding him a permanent adoptive home. 

I disagree with having a cat outdoors unless it is on a harness and leash, with a human attached to the other end of the leash. Some people on the forum will disagree, but I would guess that most c.f. members feel the same way.

When I was first out on my own, I had a home in a fairly rural suburb (we had over 2 acres and it was a beautiful and quiet neighborhood). I let my cats be indoor/outdoor...they had a kitty door so they could come and go at will. During the few years I lived there, I lost several cats to either dog attacks or to being run over. I had 2 of them just disappear, and never did find out what happened to them.

Paco will be distressed with all of the options you have mentioned, so I wanted to make the permanent adoption suggestion. Maybe you could even arrange an "open" adoption where you could visit him.

I don't know why your brother and his wife/partner are being so (as I see it) selfish and over-reactive in regards to the baby. I have raised my two daughters around cats and dogs. I lost my very first (and all time favorite) cat because my first husband thought that she (Calliope kitty) would be a nuisance and/or danger as soon as I brought my first daughter home from the hospital. He tossed Cali outside then locked the kitty door (she had never really had an interest in being outside, and was almost 100% indoor cat). My first husband didn't even bother to mention that he had done this. 

The next morning, I searched for my Cali and when I found her, she was run over in the street outside our home. My heart was broken! I was a young mom (20 at the time) and my daughter was only a few days old.  

I digress...anyway, I think it is sad to "toss aside" a pet (even though it is not your call and certainly NOT your fault!) because a baby comes into the picture. I know this is painful for you and unfair for you and Paco. I don't know what the situation is with your living arrangements and your brother (& family) so you have to make the choice that is right for you. Please remember that Paco is counting on you to make the decision that is right for him, too. Sometimes, we have to make a decision that is painful for us, in order to do the right thing for our fur-family members. It is sad that your brother (and his family) are over-reacting and not accurately educated on cats and babies.

I hope it doesn't seem like I am preaching, or being critical of you. That isn't my intention. I am just trying to make a suggestion on what may be best for Paco.


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## roseeden (May 18, 2005)

Being an Asian, I totally understand your situation. My family hate cats and think I will get Salmonella from cats and die (Every single individual had been doctors and scientists since my great-grandfather, too!)

This is one fight you must keep on fighting. You'll regret it if you don't. Get a deadbolt lock on your door so your in-laws cannot "accidentially :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: " let the cat out.


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## jamdan (May 21, 2005)

I think your on the right track with the boarding house, I did a internet search and there seem to be lots in your area,

http://www.findpetcare.com/se/dog-board ... ngeles.htm

http://www.paradiseranch.net/cat_boarding.html

http://www.home.earthlink.net/~cathotel/

http://www.fanciers.com/links.html

http://www.roverkennels.com/

It's probally a great idea because if your paying them for their sevice you should get a gaurantee of a good healthy cat when you get him back.


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## DylansMummy (May 23, 2004)

Tell your brother that the cat was here first damnit! Is he paying your Mum rent? If not he has no right to move back and start giving orders. Find some sound medical research online and give it to him and his wife to read over. Keep the cat in your room and make sure they and the baby sleep in their rooms. 

I think really it's pretty selfish to put pressure on you to give up something or put at risk something you love. And if they are "getting their lives together" it sounds like they've been pretty irresponsible bringing a child into this world at this point in time when they cannot put a roof over their own heads.

They should consider themselves lucky that they have a caring mother and sister who are willing to help them out in their time of need. Many families are not so supportive.


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## horseplaypen (Apr 1, 2004)

That's a really tough situation, I don't envy you. And I don't think comments like "throw your brother out" are very helpful - obviously that's not a practical solution. 

I don't think shengmei's idea was bad though - about the deadbolt. How long is your brother staying? If it's only for a few months or something, I don't see why you can't just keep the cat in your room for the duration of the stay. Your room is your territory - the rest of the house is neutral ground that you can't control. Get a lock with a key and make sure he can't get in. People keep multiple cats happily in studio apartments... I doubt one cat in a bedroom would be much different, given the alternatives.

It's hard to reason with unreasonable people, but honestly, you can't cause a huge family war over a cat. If it were me, I would just quietly keep the cat in my room and make sure the brother couldn't get at it.


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## jamdan (May 21, 2005)

The 'throw your brother out' was more of a stress reliever for me. I'm am in agreement with DylansMummy on the problem of the brother moving back in. My parents would send any of their grown-up children to the homeless shelter if we showed up looking for a place to live.


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## moggiegirl (May 15, 2005)

Have you tried to contact your mother at all to talk about this? 

If you can't keep your cat and you shouldn't if he's not allowed in the house at all, then maybe your friend can adopt him. That way you can visit him and Paco would be so much better off at a place where he's always welcome inside than at a place where he's never welcome inside by your relatives and where there are too many restrictions. 

Otherwise try to find him another home where he will be safe if you can't get your mother to insist that the cat is always allowed inside your home and your brother and his wife have no say in this matter. That's really how it should be because they just barged into your home and now they want you to dispose of your cat. They have absolutely no heart and are extremely selfish. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:


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## sam2c (Jul 16, 2005)

thanks everyone. The boarding opption, as i see now is very expensive, i cant afford paying 60 dollars a day. 

My brother is paying rent. He'll be here while my mom is gone. so he pretty much owns the place while my mom is gone.

Im not up for giving Paco up for permenant adoption. I would regret it for the rest of my life, not knowing what happened to him. 

The thing i want to know is, suppose Paco gets along with my friends cat, what would be the danger of having Paco at his house? Atleast he will be with people that i know and trust, rather than some stranger who my be cruel to little Paco. I'll be willing to be apart from Paco for the next 4 months, granted hes happy and safe. that doesn't mean i wont see him, i could go visit whenever i want!

I'll be paying his mom 100 dollars a month to take care of Paco (beside the money for cat food, flea control etc... ill take care of those for both cats also). They never asked for the money or anything, but it will be a small token of my appreciation. they are very nice and honest people and have raised a cat for 7 years, and were happy to hear that they could help. they are also having financial problems, so the extra cash, even though not much, would help them out a bit. 

Just look at this as an adoption case. My friends family is willing to work with me to make sure Paco is safe. What I want to know is, what should i do when i take Paco there? what should i buy for him? (like the water fountain that Sheng-Mei suggested). How can i keep him fron running away? Keep in mind that they are on the second floor, without access to the ground. BTW, Ill be taking Paco in to have him microchipped in about half an hour. He hates wearing an ID tag. 

Thank you all so much.


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## katgrl82 (May 31, 2005)

I like the lock on your door idea. I think your cat would be just fine being confined to one room for a few months. I would try that option over bringing your cat to your friends house. If the cat would only be indoor there, it wouldn't be such an issue, but if he can go outside there is more chance of him getting lost or hurt in an unfamiliar area to him. I know I would be wondering everyday if my cat made it safely back to my friend's house that night. 

And on the topic of cats being dangerous for babies, they can actually be helpful. Young children exposed to animals are much more likely to build up immunities to allegeries. 

If you must take your cat to your friend's I would suggest both the microchip and the ID collar. A lot of people wont even think about an animal having a microchip, however, it is important when an animal ends up at a shelter or rescue organization. A collar with ID tag is easily visible, so anyone can see that your cat belongs to someone. I would send over all his toys, food bowls. and scratching posts or bed if he has one. That way he has all his familiar things and smells. Just introduce him slowly to your friends cat to see if they can get along. 

If you are paying your friend $100 a month to keep your cat, can you just pay your brother that much to shut up and get out? :lol:


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## Brynn (Jun 25, 2005)

There is no guarantee that the cats will get along, but there have been some great links posted on introducing cats. Tim (timskitties) had posted some on the thread that is something like "indoor/outdoor cat to outside only". There are also a lot of links on the web, if you google "introduce cat", as well as other info on the forum. 

Edit: My mistake. I refered you to your own thread.  Tim's links were in the "getting a new cat" thread with author rasp66. In the cat chat forum.

If the foster family (that would be a more accurate term than adoptive family, since it will be a temporary living arrangement) would be willing to put Paco in one secure room for a while until he adjusts, that would be helpful in both introducing the cats and preventing him from running away. You could also request that they keep him inside only, especially for the first couple of weeks. He may want to come look for you, so it is a risk. I am glad you are chipping him, though. If he does run away, it increases the odds he will be found and returned.

You can also consider attempting to harness train him, and if they will keep him indoor only, you can take him out on the harness when you visit.

I don't blame you for not wanting to put him up for adoption...I couldn't do it with my kitties, but some people have to do it. At least you have a viable option. Also, since you will be helping out financially, the foster family may be willing to make the extra effort to see to it that he is securely housed until he is adjusted.

I don't think I can add anything else over and above what others have, and my little bit here. I am sorry for your situation. I know you are hurting and you obviously love Paco very much. It will be nice that you can visit him and that will help him more than you can imagine.

Best of luck to you and to Paco...I hope the next 4 months pass quickly for you.

Please keep asking questions, if you still have some that are unanswered. Also keep us posted on how Paco is doing, and how you are doing as well.

We will keep you both in hugs and healing thoughts.


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## DylansMummy (May 23, 2004)

Just wondering - I know it seems like you have made up your mind to let your cat stay with your friend but why are you not able to just keep the cat in your room for a while? Surely your brother can not argue as long as cat is in there and your niece/nephew stays out?


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## moggiegirl (May 15, 2005)

I think your home environment is way too hostile for Paco and I'm totally in favor of you having your friends foster Paco in their home for a while. That's a much better alternative to keeping him in your room in a hostile house. Besides cats do need more space than just one room and he would feel like he's in a prison. It's important for the first 2 weeks they keep him indoors only so he learns to accept your friends house as his new home. A whole apartment is plenty of space for him.

As far as the 2 cats getting along, well at first there are going to be some territorial issues but in time the cats will resolve their differences and learn to live together even if they don't fall in love with each other. I adopted 2 adult cats from a shelter that are not from the same litter and at first Rosie was hissing and Spotty but after a week she stopped doing that and now she occasionally gives him kisses. Don't worry about that. For $100.00 per month the foster family should be able to deal with this as it will resolve. 

All Paco will need is food, water, a litter box of his own, some toys, a scratching post and lots of love, attention and a truly cat-friendly environment. And your friends obviously love cats since they have a cat of their own so it will be a safe haven for Paco. You might want to consider getting a pet friendly apartment of your own so you can get Paco back. Are you old enough to move out?


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## sam2c (Jul 16, 2005)

moggiegirl, you are absolutely right about the house being hostile towards Paco. If they get mosquito bites, its gonna be Paco's flea. If their boy coughs or sneezes, its gonna be Paco's fur. Children get sick all the time, and i dont want Paco to be here and to get blamed for it. And knowing my brother and sister-in-law, they will blame Paco. I tell you, they are something else. God forbid, something serious does happen to the baby, i dont want Paco to be around to get blamed. 
I think Paco would be much happier in an apartment where he could roam freely between the balcony and the rooms. Their balcony windows is always open so Paco could go inside anytime he wants. i think leaving the balcony is next to impossible. their cat has never escaped from the balcony, as im told.


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## Brynn (Jun 25, 2005)

That sounds like the "next best" solution...having your friend's family foster Paco. Of course, the best would have been for him to continue to live his life as he had prior to the turmoil, but what's done is done and you have no choice but to move forward.

It will be nice for Paco to have access to the balcony, but I still think it is best to keep him in an area that is limited to one or two rooms until he adjusts (a couple of weeks or so)...then when it is time, supervise the balcony visits for a while, just to be sure.

I am glad you will not lose your Paco forever, but I also know that 4 months can be an eternity when you are apart from a loved one...human or feline.

I don't recall if you mentioned early on, but how old is Paco and how long have you had him? Has he been neutered and vaccinated (up to date shots?) That is very important since he has been and will be in close proximity of other cat(s).

Prejudice and ignorance are not limited to people of Persian (or Asian, etc) heritage. I am 100% American (translated: so many different heritages that no one knows exactly what...a bit of everything). My grandparents generation are just as ignorant about things...including cats. When I was a young girl, my grandmother's cat had kittens. One was a black cat, and folklore (especially in the eyes of the "old school" southern men) has stated that black cats are evil and unlucky. My grandfather was going to murder him by removing his head with an axe. He was a tiny kitten at the time.  My mother, who didn't believe in such things, talked him into allowing us to adopt the kitten and he became a member of our family...a wonderful kitty, and a great 'friend' to me (I was about 6 at the time).

I just wanted you to know that prejudice and ignorance is rampant in almost every race and heritage. It may differ, but is still a dangerous trait. I didn't want you to feel that false beliefs were limited to Persians. They may differ somewhat, but are still prevelant throughout every region in the world...more so in the older generations, but not exclusively.

I just want you to know that the members of catforum (I hope they don't mind my speaking for the group in general) sympathize with your situation and will be happy to give you as much moral support and advice as we can.

Take care of yourself...and give Paco hugs from everyone! btw...are there any pics posted of Paco? I would love to see one.


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## sam2c (Jul 16, 2005)

thank you Brynn. In persian culture, we have a saying that says "A cat's eyes are sour". the direct translation doesn't really say much in English, but what i really means is "harm a cat and you will be cursed". The cat's last breathe will be a wish for you to die if you harmed him. Its kind of scary, but i just wanted to throw that in there to show how within the same culture we have conflicting point of views. This saying is specific to cats, not just any animal, which makes it even a more powerful statement about the mystical powers of cats and their status. Our national flag had a picture of a lion holding a sword of light. Whats strange is that the shape of Iran (the geographic shape) looks exactly like a cat. Its sometimes refered to as the Cat of Asia. 
I've seen bad things happen to people who harm cats. Its happened to my dad, my cousin, and my sister's mother-in-law. i wont tell you what actually happened to these people, but they were all physically hurt or died shortly after.


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## sam2c (Jul 16, 2005)

i got some great news. I didn't give paco to my friend; hes back inside and back to his old routines again! i removed the screens from my window, and i keep the window open during the day for paco to go out and come back as he pleases. this way he doesn't even have to go through the family room. I flea comb him every night and brush him to remove any excess fur. He been doing alot of cute things lately and i cant help but laugh and be happy everytime i see him. Hes a great cat and still loves me even after what he was put through. 

thank you all for sticking up for paco. he sends his regards


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## Pinky (Jul 16, 2005)

Thats exactly what it is "an old wives tale" I had 8 cats when my new baby arrived and never had a spot of trouble. In fact simba used to just lie on the sofa next to him as if his body guard. 

I dont think that putting your cat outdoors permanently is a good idea and would encourage you to rethink this.


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## sam2c (Jul 16, 2005)

Pinky, Paco is back inside! (detailed in my previous post). Hes licking himself as we speak.


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## Brynn (Jun 25, 2005)

I'm so happy for you and Paco, that things worked out!  

Not only do you have a special kitty...Paco has a special owner.

Thanks for keeping us posted!


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