# How Long to Wait after loss of dear cat.



## Charley Sullivan (Jan 16, 2012)

You may have read about my dear cat Slugger who passed away Christmas night in the Rainbow Bridge thread.

My wife and I have another cat that she named Mew-Two (where she came up with the name I don't know she once had one named Music Cat because she was clawing on a guitar lol). 

Anyway she is 16 years old herself. She has been around longer than me laugh. I know she is going to need a companion. Am I wrong to be anxious to get another kitty so soon. It has only been 27 long days since my Slugger left. It has been tough and I am still going through the grieving process.

She is lonely though. My wife and I are sometimes gone 12-13 hours when we work. She is a sweet kitty and she has always had companions. The house seems very empty without Slugger and I know a new kitty would liven the place up a little. I am and will always be very loyal to him and he will be with me the rest of my life as I will be with him. 

I know there are so many that need homes. I was looking at the animal shelter site the other night and there are very many. 

So is it too soon or is it never too soon?:catmilk

Mewy-Tewy


----------



## BotanyBlack (Apr 6, 2011)

soon enough is when you feel comfortable enough.

When I lost my heart cat 5 months ago, I had fosters in the house, one of those fosters stayed.


----------



## Leazie (Apr 14, 2007)

Putting Mewy -Tewy's (love the name) needs above your own seems like a wonderful way to honor Slugger's memory. Perhaps you could find a middle aged snuggler for Mewy- this way she is not overwhelmed by a kitten's antics. Let the people know your situation and they should be able to point you in the right direction.


----------



## cooncatbob (May 27, 2011)

Leazie said:


> Putting Mewy -Tewy's (love the name) needs above your own seems like a wonderful way to honor Slugger's memory. Perhaps you could find a middle aged snuggler for Mewy- this way she is not overwhelmed by a kitten's antics. Let the people know your situation and they should be able to point you in the right direction.



I agree with this, a calm adult cat would probably be a better fit then a crazy kitten.


----------



## MowMow (Nov 6, 2010)

I agree, the energy of a kitten is exhausting. An older cat might be overwhelmed and unhappy. Perhaps a nice 3 or 4 year old that is established and calmer.


----------



## love.my.cats (Jan 29, 2009)

I don't think there's a 'too soon'. Every one is different. Some people are able to go out and get another pet right away while it takes others longer to be able to do so. In either case, it's not like you're replacing your beloved cat but more opening your heart to another cat (and in your case doing what you think is best for Mewy-Tewy). Some times bringing in another cat to love can help with the grieving process.


----------



## shan841 (Jan 19, 2012)

There is no "too soon". I recently lost my cat to lymphoma 2 days before christmas. I said i didnt want another cat right away, but when we came home to an empty house it was just to hard. An empty house was just a constant reminder. And, like you said, there are so many kitties that need homes. Well, we went to the spca that same day and rescued banjo. We got to give him a good christmas and doing so really helped us to heal. We weren't replacing fluff, we were just focusing our energy on something positive. There isnt a day that goes by that i dont think about fluff, bu banjo has brought us so much joy. He is a perfect fit for our family and if we had waited things may have turned out differently.


----------



## jusjim (Jun 30, 2009)

shan841 said:


> There is no "too soon". I recently lost my cat to lymphoma 2 days before christmas. I said i didnt want another cat right away, but when we came home to an empty house it was just to hard. An empty house was just a constant reminder. And, like you said, there are so many kitties that need homes. Well, we went to the spca that same day and rescued banjo. We got to give him a good christmas and doing so really helped us to heal. We weren't replacing fluff, we were just focusing our energy on something positive. There isnt a day that goes by that i dont think about fluff, bu banjo has brought us so much joy. He is a perfect fit for our family and if we had waited things may have turned out differently.


The empty house was tough. I wasn't going to get another cat after Zenobi, but the emptiness was too much. Tigger came next, but the vet made me take her back because she wasn't eating and he said they couldn't give me a sick cat. If I'd known they were just going to grab her I'd have kept her and made the vet do something. Then I got big Missy. She's a big softie -- when she wants to be, which is almost all the time. But none of this has done more than soften the pain of losing Zenobi, (20 months ago).


----------



## cooncatbob (May 27, 2011)

We never forget the ones we lost, I lost my beloved Meme over 16 years ago, I didn't want my co-workers to give me a cat so I treated myself and got Samantha a purebred MCC and we had 15 1/2 wonderful years together until cancer took her last May.
I miss them both and if I hadn't had Chiquita I would have gotten another cat.
I'd like to have more then on but Chiquita likes being the spoiled only child.


----------



## Claiken (Dec 18, 2007)

I just had to say, i absolultely feel for you... christmas night of all nights?? Rough luck. Now each christmas you get to remember that  

i agree though, whenever you feel its right is the right time


----------



## my5kitties (Sep 13, 2005)

Claiken said:


> I just had to say, i absolultely feel for you... christmas night of all nights?? Rough luck. Now each christmas you get to remember that
> 
> i agree though, whenever you feel its right is the right time


Smokey died on January 14, which is my son's birthday. Last Saturday marked the one year anniversary of his death...and also my son's birthday. I won't lie, it was hard. But I had Momo, the kitten who came into my life on April 24, 2011, the day after my birthday. If it weren't for her (and my other three cats), it would have been unbearable. Momo bears a strong resemblance to Smokey, but she has her own quirky purrsonality. And I wouldn't have it any other way.


----------



## RachandNito (Nov 21, 2008)

I don't think there could be a 'too soon'. Slugger would never resent you for getting another cat. You are not replacing him, in fact, rescuing another cat in his memory is a great way to honor him. Like I said, you are not replacing him- no cat ever could anyways- and nothing you could do, and no cat in the world could ever make you forget him.


----------



## Charley Sullivan (Jan 16, 2012)

Claiken said:


> I just had to say, i absolultely feel for you... christmas night of all nights?? Rough luck. Now each christmas you get to remember that
> 
> i agree though, whenever you feel its right is the right time


Thank you. My wife said maybe God wanted a Christmas gift. It will be hard but I won't turn into a "Scrooge" but every Christmas I have left in my lifetime I will think about him in a very special way.


----------



## Muzby (Jan 9, 2008)

I, too, think another kitty would be a good idea. 

However, I would worry an established cat may be too tough to introduce to an older, set-in-my-ways, kitty. If I were in your situation (and I was, although Zaq was only 12 when we got the newbies) I would get two kittens. That way, when Mew2 passes (which may be soon) the kittens won't be lonely and you won't have to go through the introduction process all over again. 

You could always get a pair of older kitten siblings, say 6-8mths instead of babies. However, I find babies always make the old guys hissy for a while then playful. Not always EVERYONES experience, but it has been mine.


----------



## Abbie (Jan 13, 2011)

What a lovely heartfelt post to read. 

I agree with the others here, it's never too soon. You will never be replacing your lovely Slugger, just giving a needy cat the opportunity of a happy home. 

I'd go for an older cat too, any cat above 4 really (I have a three year old, and she's very active still so might be a bit much for a 16 year old). I know cats over 9 have real difficulty finding their forever homes, so you could make a real difference.


----------



## catloverami (Jul 5, 2010)

I had two spayed Manx---the last of my Manx queens---before I got my Devons, and when Monique died suddenly at 15-1/2 yrs., her companion Mhellia was devastated. She had known and even nursed Monique from the time she was a kitten when she and another queen decided to share the same box and nurse their kitties together. Mhellia moped about, wandered about meowing for her and insisted every closet door be opened and would sit where Monique used to sit and was quite depressed for 3 months. I decided she needed a kitty and got a 4 mo. old Devon Rex spay girl. But Mhellia, at 16-1/2 yrs. old did not really want to be friends (I guess she only wanted Monique back) and would only allow Alkee to come within 2 ft. of her. She slept most of the day. Her health declined quite rapidly betwee the next several months with the addition of neutered exuberant Devon (Zuba) and a Papillon rescue that had ended up in a puppymill as a stud cat. None of the cats liked him as he viewed them as females to be serviced, and was returned to his original breeder. I really think Mhellia died of loneliness and the stress of the new additions.

It didn't work out in my case, but you might try to "foster" a rescue kitty and see how that goes. Either Mew-Two will take to it in the few months you have it and enjoy its company or not. Let us know how it goes.


----------



## heston (Nov 17, 2011)

When my Misty had to be put down at almost 16 years old, I was and am still devastated of the loss, I had adopted her at on 8 weeks old. I was so lonely after losing her that I adopted another kitty only two weeks later. I hadn't planned it, it just happened. This time I adopted a kitty that was two years old. 

It just depends whenever you're ready to give another kitty a home and just how lonely you are.


----------



## Carmel (Nov 23, 2010)

I would say it's whenever you feel the time is right, however I do have to agree with the others that are saying your kitty may not like a new companion, they can be pretty set in their ways, they may become even more miserable with a new kitten or even an older cat in their home since no cat is going to be a replacement for the cat you've lost.

When my aunt lost one of her cats the other went downhill quite quickly, maybe it was just due to her age (17) but I do know that she wouldn't have been receptive of another cat in the last year of her life, even though she was really missing her sister another cat wouldn't have helped.

If you feel it's worth a shot, then go ahead.


----------



## Lyndzo (Dec 20, 2011)

I also don't think there's a too soon. No kitty will ever take Slugger's place and you know that. A new kitty would just love to be part of your loving home.

When I lost my Lucky 2 years ago, we got Bella about two weeks later. At first I thought it was too soon but I knew nothing would ever take his place. Bringing Bella home just gave me a distraction and a new kitty to love.


----------



## Claiken (Dec 18, 2007)

its weird. i can accept new pets as, like a chapter of their own, not a replacement of any kind. but when i think of when peopel are married and one dies, i cant think of the other person remarrying as a new chapter as easily. i may just be broken lol.


----------



## Charley Sullivan (Jan 16, 2012)

This is the beginning of the 34th day since I lost my friend. Me and Leslie talk about him everyday. It is getting a little easier but we miss him alot.

We were out Wednesday and we went a few places and checked out the cats. We did not see very many kittens at this time but there are many adults that need homes. It was quite emotional for me. I have a hard time thinking about another mature cat eating where Slugger would have been. I check out his pics everyday its like I have to look at them. Still I know Mewy Tewy needs a companion. 

I cant wait for Spring to get here so we can get out back and fix up his grave. He is buried beside Paw-Paw a calico we had who passed away in 2009. I want to raise both graves and have like a little Memorial garden with some kind of stone markers.

Over the years I took many pictures of Slugger but I don't have as many quality ones that I wish I had. The pic I used in the Rainbow Bridge thread is about one of the best. I ordered a poster off of Zazzle yesterday with a few words on it with that pic. I'll probably frame it and hang it in the living room for now. :kittyball


----------

