# How do you know when it's time to put your cat to sleep?



## Kittys Mom (May 7, 2004)

She's 16. She has a inoperable non-cancerous grapefruit sized cyst that presses against her stomach, she's had this cyst for 4 years. She's hyperthyroid (i.e. skinny) and gets twice a day liquid oral medication.

I love her to pieces and she's been with me since she was 6. She was with me in my first apartment and every home since. She was the first cat I learned to love. She's my kitty.

She throws up a lot from the cyst against her stomach (2-5 times a week). She's isolated in a bedroom, so she only gets to cuddle me at night. We have a nightly 15 minute cuddle/scratch time (she curls up in my arms). Then she moves on to sleep in her heated bed. She uses the litterbox, but doesn't keep herself very clean anymore (she looks greasy). She's adjusted to the dog, who shares our bed at night, and doesn't let the dog's presence affect her cuddle time.

Problem? I'm moving soon. I'm not sure how she'll handle the change. She'll probably be okay, I'll move all her stuff (my bed and bedroom furniture) at one time into the new place and it'll happen within a single day. I've been thinking lately that it may be time to put her to sleep. But I don't know. I'm not sure if it's my own selfish...gee it'd be a lot easier to sell my house if my bedroom didn't smell like puke and unwashed cat...attitude or if I'm really thinking of her. Some things I read lead me to think that it's not time and she still has an okay quality of life and that we should wait until she passes or until it's clearer to me. Some things lead me to think that I'm being selfish making her live day in/day out, nauseus and alone.

How do you make this kind of decision? Do you? Do you just wait for some sign? My sister thinks that kitty gave me the sign a long time ago and I'm just torturing her for my own wants. Am I wrong that one day, I'll just know? That she'll not move from her bed or she'll stop eating and won't start again? (She stops eating for days at a time at least once a year since her cyst was discovered, with sub-q fluids and force feeding, we usually get through these times) 

Can anyone give me some guidance? 

Thank you...I know it's a hard topic...


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Wow. First: atback 
I have had to make That Final Decision so many times over the years, and it never gets easier. I have also made that decision based on different factors, not always the same ones, but always with the best interest of my pet in mind.

My aged dog...she had been suffering from age-related problems and her pain was getting worse and affecting her more and more. The meds were no longer helping. When she became ill, I decided to let her go. I made this decision, because she was feeling miserable *at that time* and while I knew she could recover from her illness, she would still be trapped in a painful and failing body. Because she was in-the-now and had no knowledge of a future without the misery of her illness, I helped to ease her passing from her failing and painful body right then. 
I know that was right for her.

With our kitties, almost all of them gave me clear signals of "they were ready". The *first* euth of my marriage, I fought it and put off too long. _But I *learned* from that experience_, and I will share it with you. 
Bonnie had a growth in her esphogus that was slowly closing off her ability to allow food/water to enter her system to sustain her. I spent $1500 trying to find out what it was and a vet who would give me a cure for her, or operate and *fix* it. In a tearful consultation where I offered to sell my sportscar to pay for *any* surgery my vet had to sit me down, hold my hands, look me in my eyes and tell me ..._even though medicine can do great things for people, and a lot of those procedures can help many, many animals, sometimes, doing those procedures is *not* in the animal (or the owner's) best interest._ He explained to me that Bonnie's problem was in an extremely difficult area to access, it would be very invasive and hurt her greatly. So greatly, that pain meds wouldn't be able to help her much and the chances of her chosing to live through such an agonizingly painful recovery (IF the surgery was successful) would be very slim and he could not allow me to do that to her or myself.
_I love that vet, for helping me to see that it is OKAY to *not* do everything humanly possible._

Reilly-kitty had progressive, degenerative loss of motor skill from mid-spine back. It progressed over several years to the point he could no longer walk. But he was not in pain, was a happy cat and enjoyed spending his days outside in the large wire dog-crate, laying in his catbed and watching everything interesting going on outdoors. My Mother gigged me hard about how "cruel" I was. But Rei was *happy* and I could not euth him while he still enjoyed his life so much. Eventually, his spinal degeneration affected his internal organs and *did* cause him problems. The vet tried, but with his nerves not sending/receiving signals there wasn't much that meds could do, and within days Rei *did* let us know he was ready. 
I am glad I was able to keep him happy for as long as we were able. I know we did the right thing for him.

My horse was 29yrs old and I'd had him for 18yrs when he was diagnosed with cancer in the soft-tissue of his face. His eye was already weeping a foul-smelling discharge and he would rub it on his knee, so I knew it was causing him discomfort. After the diagnosis, I made arrangements within that week for euth/burial on a friend's property. My decision was one of: Cochise's condition would never improve, would deteriorate rapidly and uncontrollably and I felt it was kinder to *him* to euth him while *he* still felt 'whole' and 'good' and to do so before the cancer could ravage him, which is what it absolutely would do. 
In situations like his, I felt it was right to help him go while he (and I) knew he was feeling The Best He Ever _Could_, because his diagnosis was one of rapid descent into misery if I tried to keep him longer.

You will know. I hope my various stories will help you to see that there are many different ways to come to The Hardest Decision Of All, and none of them are wrong if they are right for that situation you and your pet find yourselves in.
((( Hugs ))) to you.
heidi


----------



## nanook (Jun 12, 2005)

I'm just wondering why the tumor hasn't been removed? It sounds like that's most of her trouble. If she can't clean herself because of it, she could be bathed. If a water bath would stress her out too much, you can get kitty wipe or do a dry bath. It would make her much more comfortable. And why is she isolated in the bedroom?
As for when to put a kitty to sleep. I do think they let you know. For me, it's been when they stop doing the things they like to do. You know your cat better than anyone and, if you're paying attention, I think you'll know.


----------



## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

I've never had to deal with this, so I'm just throwing this out there.

Her life sounds a little sad to me, but she's not my cat, so I'm looking at it from the outside. I imagine that I would try to hold on to Cinderella until she actually wrote me a note to say goodbye. I don't want to even think about losing any of my girls. 

The move may be the right time for both of you. In a new place, every little thing won't remind you so much of her, and she won't have to adjust to all the changes, no more meds, no more throwing up. 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. atback


----------



## Kittys Mom (May 7, 2004)

Thank you all for your posts, it's something that I really don't want to do...but am wondering if the time has come and I'm just torturing her. The cyst is actually her liver it's blown up to the size of a grapefruit. Amazingly, she has perfect liver function with it, as it is. They are afraid that if they tried to remove the cyst, she wouldn't have enough liver left to do the liver's job. We did drain the cyst a few times, but now it's so porous (sp?) that there are no big pockets to drain, just tons of bubbles. 

She's segregated in the bedroom because of the other cats. They know she's sick and they spend all their time attacking and harassing her. So, she gets to sleep with mommy and gets to spend her days in peace. The other kids, get attention during the day, but at night, they are on their own.

I've tried the wipes and dry baths...she really hates it.. It helps when I brush her, but she doesn't seem to enjoy that much either. I guess just in the last few months she's been throwing up more and in the last few weeks doesn't seem particularly comfortable in her beds...she sits upright instead of curling up in a ball like she used to. I just wish I could ask her if she was in pain.

I think I've decided to clean up all the stains (so that I can see if she's still throwing up as much) and keep an eye on her sleeping positions...if she continues to sleep sitting up, instead of curled up, I think that'll be what will tell me if she's in pain...

Thank you for helping me with this tough decision...it's so hard to think about.


----------



## nanook (Jun 12, 2005)

I'm so sorry. It truly is the most difficult decision.
Best of luck.


----------



## ETrescued (Oct 22, 2009)

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, and send support your way atback 

We put my childhood cat to sleep after he suffered from a major artery blockage that resulted in him losing control of his back legs. It happened very fast, and with no warning. My parents rushed him to the e-vet and he said that he had significant heart disease (never revealed by another vet previously). While we could put him on daily medications, he may have permanent nerve damage and likely would throw another clot in less than 5 months time. The vet said he was in pain. He had a wonderful life (although he was a grouch!) and we wanted him to pass with dignity. It was awful and happened so quickly, but we knew that it would be a very rough and likely short road ahead if we pursued treatment.

My parent's dog, on the other hand, is a longer story. He was a miniature schnauzer and diagnosed at *age 3* with diabetes. He received insulin shots twice daily and seemed to respond well. Within a year, however, he had cataracts in both eyes. Blind by age 4. We looked into/had him evaluated to have the cataracts removed, but schnauzers are very prone to glaucoma, and the vet said that while the cataracts could be removed, his sight restoration may very well just be temporary until glaucoma set in. He adapted well to blindness, so we didn't have the surgery. By about age 7 he truly started to deteriorate. Despite good glucose control and a high-protein diet, he experienced dramatic muscle wasting. He was still happy, though, and most enjoyed eating. He steadily deteriorated until this past winter (age 10). He was very lethargic, extremely skinny. In my opinion, he was not happy. He was my mother's best bud, though, and she wasn't ready... although I think he may have been. He began to have trouble walking and had a very swollen liver. We took him to our regular vet where they said he was septic, get him to the e vet now. Brought him to the e vet who said he wasn't septic, but after a series of tests she determined that he had Cushings syndrome (he had been tested a few years previously, and was negative). Only days later, he had a massive and unexplained abscess appear and rupture on his rear end. His body was shutting down, and he was ready. At this point my family was ready, and he was put to sleep. I really feel like he was suffering... he was so lethargic for the last few months and really only perked up for food, but even towards the end he didn't care.

I always think stories are helpful. You aren't alone! It is such a crappy decision that we pet owners have the power to make- for better or for worse. I believe she will tell you, and you are an angel for doing all you can to provide her with the best possible life.

-BP


----------



## Leazie (Apr 14, 2007)

I haven 't been able to read all of the posts, except for the first few.

I have written this several times. What I have been trying to say is that I waited too long with Taz and in the end he ran away and I wasn't there for him when he needed me most.

In my heart I knew that he was miserable, he cried and meowed all the time, always asking em for something. I would try to give him food, water, love, but nothing helped. I think he was miserable, but I just wouldn't see it.

I think it would be kinder to help your kitty over the Bridge too soon, rather than too late. You know that she is not young and looking at years of life ahead of her. I really, really wish that I had listened to my head instead of heart.

((HUGS)) to you.


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Oh, Leazie! GREAT BIG ((((hugs)))) for you!  GREAT big ones. 
_I know what sharing that cost you._ atback Man, I need a tissue after that ... but what a great thing for you to be able to share and help others with making their Hardest Decisions. 





Kittys Mom said:


> They know she's sick and they spend all their time attacking and harassing her.
> I guess just in the last few months she's been throwing up more and in the last few weeks doesn't seem particularly comfortable in her beds...she sits upright instead of curling up in a ball like she used to. I just wish I could ask her if she was in pain.


I know it is difficult to think about, especially when they go in such slow degrees; we don't get to *see* any obvious signs in their slow progression. I think, because she has changed her sleeping behavior, that it *is* a sign for you to take note of, now. Cats are *masters* at hiding pain so the cat-clan won't ostracize them _but your other kitties know_ and her change in sleeping behavior is a clue, too. If she isn't in outright pain I feel she is at least highly uncomfortable enough to _have_ changed her resting behavior to accomodate herself.
I know it isn't easy. atback


----------



## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

Leazie, I think Taz ran away FOR you, not from you. I believe he didn't want to see your heartache and tears. I don't think you waited too long, I think Taz knew it was the right time at that moment and he made the decision for you. atback


----------



## Kittys Mom (May 7, 2004)

I appreciate everyone sharing their own difficult stories, it helps me so much while thinking about this.

I am kind of happy today.  I cleaned my bedroom (Kitty's room) last night...all the carpeting, changed the sheets, put away all the mess...etc. The room feels lighter and brighter and smells better. I also changed one of Kitty's heated beds, one she doesn't use much anymore. I replaced it with a flater squarer heated bed.  Good news, she's spent pretty much the whole time since I set it up in the new bed...curled in a ball.  I think the old bed was too tippy and U shaped, it folded her more than she could comfortably lay like anymore. The new one, with it's flatter bottom, is more supportive and Kitty thinks it's more comfortable. So...I'm going to continue to moniter her sleeping positions and her puking...I think those will be the signs that let me know it's time. 

Thank you everyone!


----------



## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Whew! I think that is good news. You've got a plan and are a bit "fore-warned" and know what to expect and look for. It is never easy, just enjoy the time you've got left with her.
atback


----------

