# Are cats usually so affectionate?



## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

Guess I've been under the influence of the general idea that cats are aloof and independent. Is that usually true or does it depend on the individual cat's personality? My Miu is so affectionate. When she's out, she usually likes to stay in the presence of the family members vs being by herself. Also, she loves to cuddle whether it's with the other humans or with my dog. If she has a chance, she'll come right up to your face, to kiss you, and rub her face in yours. 

In contrast, when we have to go out we put her into a two room enclosure. She seems to know we have business and doesn't push to get out. She'll go in and just play with some toys or sit on her house to look outside. Even if you're home and you need to do some chores without her being underfoot, she also seems to understand. Again, she'll just find some of her own entertainment and you won't feel rushed to finish your chores to let her out. Don't get it wrong, I don't confine her all day! It seems I'm in more of a rush than she is to let her out!


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## Leazie (Apr 14, 2007)

She sounds like a wonderful cat. I have 6 fuzzies, and each one has their own personality- some affectionate, one down right skittish. Its one of the best thing about cats, they are their own little beings.


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## hoofmaiden (Sep 28, 2009)

Cats are like people -- all different. 

Generally, though, I find that cats become what their people expect of them. If you ignore a cat and treat him/her like an "aloof" animal who doesn't need affection, eventually the kitty will give up on you and become aloof and uncaring. I've rehabbed several cats like that -- most recently Lincoln, who started out not only as a biter but as very aloof. He's now a big lap-sitter and cuddler. I did it by giving him ALL the space and time he wanted but by making it clear --through "cat kisses" (slow eye blinks) from a distance, through talking with him and interacting with him at the level where he was comfy, and by reinforcing every little step he took. I also think it made a big difference that I knew that inside him was a loving, affectionate kitty -- I treated him like that kitty, even if from a distance, and he BECAME that kitty.

He's been with me now for 6 years, and it's been 4 years since he bit anyone. He's a lap-sitter and a bed-sleeper and a head-butter and you'd never recognize him for the cat who came home from the shelter.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

I agree with Hoof, and she said everything I was going to say! :lol: 
Visitors to our home are always amazed at how personable our cats are; relaxed, friendly, interested in the guests and who seem to 'listen' to us when we tell them things (_come up, get down, come here, go there, stop_). We have had a few visitors who were uncomfortable with how 'aware' our cats were, until I was able to explain that it wasn't anything supernatural, it was simply the amount of time we spent interacting with them that shaped them to behave so intimately with us. 
Cats' behavior reflects how they are treated ... and ours are treated as valuable members of our family.


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## faithless (Dec 4, 2009)

yeah, they seem to be a product of their social environment every bit as much as humans.


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## OctoberinMaine (Sep 12, 2006)

That's really interesting. I'm a total doter, and both of our cats have been total mommy's kitties, following me around like glue and being very me-focused. An aloof cat wouldn't stand a chance in my household.


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## ShAzZa_UK (Dec 29, 2009)

I would say owning a cat is more rewarding than a dog. Your will get used to having a dog following you around the house and show affection 24/7 but cats will be affectionate on their own terms :lol: It makes you feel more privalaged to have a cat choose to cuddle and kiss you


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## ChelleBelle (Sep 14, 2009)

Cats are awesome in the range of emotions they can show. It is true, all animals are different. My first cat, Missy, was VERY sweet and very cuddly but only with me. She loved my old dog, Skippy, and would sleep with him on my bed for hours. My family called her our third dog on numerous occasions. 

Brandy and Bella, my current cats, are completely different from each other and Missy too. Brandy is very sweet and playful, but stubborn and "moody". Once we realized the extent of her moodiness it wasn't that hard to live with her. Bella is a tiny little bundle of black and white oozing love. She chirps, meeps, mews and is very expressive in her moods. She is very close to all members of my family (especially my dad) and runs and jumps and basically has a ball all the time. 

'Chelle


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

It's so interesting that there's so many different personalities. It goes to show how the media doesn't always give accurate information!


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## Tortietudelove (Nov 24, 2009)

You are so right. We currently have 10 (no, we're not adding anymore! :lol: ) and each one has their own personality. Teya is our Queen...well, she thinks she's _our_ queen. Anyway, she's the bossy, moody girl that observes everything going on; however, she can go from being moody to being the most loving girl and will even take over the motherly care of kittens, even though she's spayed and never had kittens while she's been with us. She does rule the roost and what she says goes. Tonga tends to be our aloof boy. He is extremely sweet, but not really affectionate. He enjoys the attention, but prefers you to go to him. He loves our daughter and prefers to sleep in her room. Isabella, like Teya, is another Siamese, so she's another moody girl, but she's much more vocal and she is loving on her terms. Malyka and Siana are our two extremely affectionate girls. Siana comes when I call her and she is very persistent on being loved. She follows me around like a puppy, and will even sit up and beg when she wants something. These two girls insist on sleeping right against me at night. Sara is our loner. She keeps to herself and is usually hiding, but she was older when she came to us and we're not sure what her past consisted of, but she's a strange one. Don't get me wrong, I love her dearly, but she runs funny (back legs sort of splayed), she can't seem to figure out the simplest of things, and she's the only one we allow to go outside. The only reason she's allowed out is because she is dog-like in the sense that she goes outside to use the bathroom and then comes straight back in. We've tried to teach her to use the litterbox, but she just won't have it. She will meow at the door and go right there if we ignore her. She goes into the backyard and never even goes near the fence. She doesn't seem to know how to climb (won't even in the house), so we really wonder about this poor girl. Salem is very affectionate. He loves my husband and likes to sleep on him. He's currently being refreshed on his litterbox skills, though. Neo and Osiris are our youngest, so they're still in the young playful kitten stage. They'd rather play than be loved on. Shenzi is our most recent. She's loving, but still exploring and finding her place here. None of ours have that stereotypical "cat attitude".


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## Araxen (Dec 6, 2009)

My parents have 3 cats and they want to be petted 24/7 and then there is my cat who only wants to be petted when she feels like it. They are total opposites just like humans can be.


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## P&R (Sep 10, 2009)

It all depends on the individual. My first cat was VERY affectionate towards me, my 2nd not so much towards me, or anyone else. Alizea (3rd cat) could go either way, Alice was majorly affectionate. Rosalie and Zoey can go either way. At first Rosalie was more affectionate but not as much now, Zoey, on the other hand, has become more affectionate than she was when I first got her.


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## ndiniz (Jun 29, 2009)

My 2 boys, Nuby (black with a little white splotch at the beginning of his tail) & Chico (somewhat orange or brown, and white) are always treated by me & my family as very valued family members. 

Both are affectionate, but Nuby's the sweetie pie in our family. He absolutely silly. Loves to make me laugh, gives hugs & kisses, purrs really loud when he wants attention, meows when he wants attention. Both of my boys are lap cats.


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

Heidi's right, cats are influenced by the humans they own.
Arianwen had been abused in her past, so was kind of indifferent at first, but I always kept it in my mind that "This can be a a sweetheart of a cat. She just needs love."
And here we are today :heart :heart


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

Show me your pets and I can tell a lot about you. :wink:


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## tate (Jan 17, 2010)

I agree with those who said cats are influenced by the way their humans treat them. The running joke in my family is that I "ruin" cats, they end up so absolutely devoted to me that they simply have no use for anyone else! All of my cats from childhood have subsequently been extremely affectionate. Ruin my Siamese is my shadow, chatting at me all day and insisting on getting her lovings! Then there is Rosie who was left on my porch at three weeks old and quite simply thinks I am her mother. She grooms me, jumps to my shoulder and just flops over it (or the back of my neck), and ROLLS around my shoulders until she lets herself go limp slipping off my chest into my arms! Trusts me completely. She never ever uses her claws either, sometimes I think she doesn't know she's a cat. She is only 6 months old so she is still a very active kitten. Finally there is George the black DSH who was a stray kitten, he is so gentle and affectionate always touching my face with his big black paw.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

tate said:


> ...always touching my face with his big black paw.


Aaaaawwww! :luv 
Hi, and welcome! I see this is your first post and your comment made me smile. Our Louie-cat always 'asks' permission for affection or before he jumps into my lap by putting a paw on me to get my attention, or putting a paw on me and making a little 'meep'. My Mister (1995-2006) was a constant PEST, but he always asked before jumping onto my lap or up next to me on the couch. Once I gave permission, he was ALL OVER ME! But sometimes I would ignore him, just for fun.
Do you know what he would do?
He would stand between me and the TV and meow, then look at me for a reaction. I would continue watching TV. Then he would meow louder and look for my reaction. If I hadn't looked at him, he would then sort of 'hop' sideways at me, lashing his tail from side to side and/or spin around and then meow. By this time, I'm smiling and trying to keep from outright grinning, _but I knew if I could keep my cool, his performance would get even better._ Then he would ramp-it-up and rear up on his back legs, as tall as he could be and spread his front paws as high and as wide as he could, waving them between my face and the TV screen while hopping up and down on his back legs and meowing!
Well, this was *always* my undoing and I would start to laugh. Then Mister knew he had 'won' and would run up to me ... but again ... he would stop and ask for permission to jump up next to me or into my lap. 
He was a terrible pest, but I miss him very badly.
h =^..^=


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## marie73 (Jul 12, 2006)

> Finally there is George the black DSH who was a stray kitten, he is so gentle and affectionate always touching my face with his big black paw.


What is it about black cats? So adorable! Cleo had to fall asleep with her paws on my face or neck for the longest time. Now she's happy if she's at least touching my shoulder or arm.


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## tate (Jan 17, 2010)

Thank you for the welcome Heidi.  I loved reading about your Mister, he sounds like he was a special character for sure! I was laughing just reading your story, I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to resist his antics either.  
Marie, black cats are just special! I have always adored them. And there is something so endearing about a cat touching your face.


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