# Can't find anyone to adopt one of our kittens



## Mapper71

My mother in law drove to WA from Iowa to bring us what was supposed to be 2 kittens but she brought all 5 from her farm for us to choose 2 from. Well, as I knew would happen, my husband tells her to leave all 5 and we will find homes for the other 3 because he knows a couple of people interested in them. Well the 2 people who he thought were interested were just saying "awww show us pictures" on Facebook but didn't want them. I posted something on my work intranet and got interest from 3 people. 2 of them only wanted the one my husband eventually decided he didn't want to give up (so now we are keeping 3) and another came up over the weekend to look at the other 2 but my husband decided that he couldn't give up one of the other ones either (so now we are keeping 4) and wasn't interested in the other available one. Nobody wants this kitty  It is such a mellow cat and it likes to sleep but has been playing with its litter mates as well, just isn't overly active. My husband doesn't want to give it to people he doesn't know, nor does he want it to go to a no kill shelter because he thinks it will be overwhelmed there and overlooked. He has someone in mind who specifically asked us for one of the kittens but he is hesitant to give it to her because she isn't the most responsible person.

We already have 2 adult cats and ONLY wanted 2 kittens and now have 5 and are now keeping 4, which is way more than I even want. It's overwhelming for me and if we can at least find someone to take one kitten it would help.

Are there any other options out there?


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## Heather72754

It would be better to give the kitten to a no-kill shelter than to an irresponsible person IMO - that is if the shelter is _truly_ no-kill and not just the 'we don't kill them here but ship them to places that do when we get overloaded' type of shelter. The kitten will surely be overwhelmed at first but once it settles down will make someone a great pet it sounds like.

That being said, you've already got such a full house what could one more matter? The mellow one will probably be the least of your worries.


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## Cheddar

Are there any no-kill rescues in your area that can help? I know some rescues will cross-post for owners or other rescues to increase exposure for adoption via websites and such.


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## Mapper71

Heather72754 said:


> It would be better to give the kitten to a no-kill shelter than to an irresponsible person IMO.


I know, at this point what is one more right? Frankly I'm embarrassed to admit how many we have. We were only supposed to have a total of 4 including our adult cats and THAT's even one too many in my opinion. It took me forever to agree to ONE kitten because I was perfectly happy with 2 adult cats. Then I agreed to 2 kittens so they'd have a playmate. Then my husband couldn't let go of another and I very begrudgingly agreed to 3 and now have even more begrudingly agreed to 4. I knew this would come to this when she said she would bring 5 out. Our house is only a little over 1000 sq ft PLUS city ordinance states you can have no more than 4 pets. We are already overdoing it by 2.


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## Heather72754

Lol, hope your husband is helping out with these kittens in a big way since he is pretty much responsible for: 1. them being there in the first place and 2. them not getting adopted in the second place. 

How are your adult cats doing with this kitten invasion? BTW one of our long-term members on this site has you beat by a mile: 10cats2dogs tell you anything? And I think she's added a couple since lol.


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## Mapper71

Our one adult cat has taken to them and even let one share his window seat the other day. However, our elderly cranky female who is about 15 still hisses and swats at them. 

Part of me says what is the big deal having 7 if we love and take care of them. I have always been OCD clean so I know our house will be as clean as possible, but it gets tiring vacuuming once a day, and scooping poop and constantly feeding them and making sure they don't tear the house apart. Then I think about taking all 5 to get spayed and the possible vet bills and just the general keeping track of everyone because they will be indoor/outdoor. However I would not want to admit to family or friends that we have 7 cats nor would I ever want to have anyone over. I have already told people at work and they can't believe it or can even imagine having that many.


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## 10cats2dogs

Hi Mapper!
I was going to wait, till I got to work, to respond to your post!
Believe me, seven cats really won't be bad at all!!
The kittens will have each other to play with, which will take a lot of stress off of your cranky girl!
Lots of litter boxes! Use clumping clay litter, once the kittens are older, when they're little, they will often try and eat some of the litter, so clumping is a no-no at this point!
Scoop twice a day-minimum! 
I DON'T have a smell problem at all, and I don't use scented litter either!
I do have to get ready for work...so I'll check in again later!
Sharon


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## librarychick

I must say I'm a bit anxious about you having 5 kittens at once...that's a LOT of work, a LOT of vet bills, and a LOT of food!

My suggestion would be to take your husband to check out the local no kill rescue. If it looks like a good place consider surrendering some of the kittens, maybe 2 so they can get adopted as a pair? I understand how hard it is to trust other people with kittens, but they're at their most adoptable NOW and if you're going to end up overwhelmed when they all turn into monsters at 6 months (I almost lost my mind with 2 teenage kittens! I can't imagine 5 at once!)....better sooner than later as far as surrendering goes.

There are people here with many cats, but they didn't add 5 all at once! And certainly not kittens. That is a huge upset for your two older cats to deal with, and at the very least you need to have a plan to help them adjust to living in a kitty kindergarten - rather than the seniors facility they might like in their old age!


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## cat owner again

Mapper, I had a big smile as I was reading your post. I could see that all coming and isn't it just like a husband to feel that way and maybe not realize what it all means. If you are going to really keep 4, well what is one more quiet one? I think you brought up some valid concerns all the way around. I also feel concern for your 15 year old with all those kittens running around. I really feel older pets deserve a lot of respect which you can manage with some timed containment. Only you can decide if you want this commitment. I just think about all the people who write into the forum going a little nuts with the energy of kittens running all over their house.


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## Marmoset

I understand how you feel. In my family you are not supposed to have multiple animals. Just last week my mom told me that two cats is fine but 3 is crazy. She found out from a relative that we were considering taking in one of their strays from the colony. I'm turning 40 soon so it should say a lot that my family is still concerned about my two cats!
I won't even tell them about the lizard...

Your husband shouldn't worry about taking the quiet one to a no kill shelter. We adopt out quiet kittens all the time at the shelter I'm at. They can be perfect for mature people or couples with a young kid. Some people are looking specifically for calmer cats. I would tell the shelter the kitten is quiet and calm but friendly and gets along with other cats. That's just good info for them to help place the kitten. Shelters do take pains to make sure cats are not overwhelmed. If a cat is overwhelmed and does not seem to be acclimating they might send it to a foster home until it is adopted. You can check with the foster home and ask them to explain how acclimate their cats and if they have foster homes available if the kitten does not take to the shelter lifestyle well.

Have the kittens seen a vet for wellness checks? If not take them in and explain your story. They might know of a good place/ home for the kitten to go and it's not unheard of for a vet to opt to keep a kitten for themselves.


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## 10cats2dogs

Mapper, if you don't want a house full of cats, I do agree with Librarychick...as cute kittens, they do have a better chance at being adopted, if you could adopt two of them as a pair, that would be awesome.


I have adopted kittens, as well as adults, and both have their plusses and minuses! Kittens raised together, do have each other, to burn energy off, older cats, require very slow introductions into the rest of the residents, so everyone can get along, either way, you have to have patience, and a sense of humour goes a long way!

A 'Care Credit' card, is a very good emergency backup to have, no matter the number of pets you have!

I certainly didn't go out to collect all of mine...they found me...
They're strays, rescues and dumpees...
I wouldn't get rid of one of them, for anything! 
They have not trashed my house, and anyone that has visited, has been very comfortable, and not at all offended, or 'put off' by the cats! Or...the Pittie and the Border Collie!!
Sharon


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## Mapper71

It's just overwhelming to think about 7 cats! I know I will be the one doing all the work too which isn't fair seeing as how my husband is the one who got us into this. I will be the one who will have to take all 5 to get spayed (already have appts for Jan. 2 for 3 of them but I guess I'll have to add 2 more) and I'll have to do that all on my own because I plan on taking a vacation day that day while my husband has to work and has no time off left. My MIL took two of them to a vet when she was here. The vet we wanted to take them too is no longer accepting new pets so they referred us to another one who MIL said was great and exams are only $20, BUT they are only open 9AM-1PM Mon-Fri which doesn't work at all for our schedules so I have to take yet another day off of work to take all of them there for their exam.

My sister turned me onto the BEST litter though! It's the Breeze system that uses pellets and not clay/sand so absolutely NO tracking of litter outside of the litter box which is a god send! The pee filtrates down through the pellets to a pad below which you change out a 1-2 times a week and the poop just stays on top and you take that out and voila! The pellets only need to be changed once a month. We've only been using it for 2 days now but it's fantastic. You do, however, need to scoop the poop pretty much immediately or it does stink.

BUT the thing I'm worried about is that city ordinance says households on less than .5 acre (which is us) are only allowed 4 pets max. Of course my husband says "Pshaw, who will ever know", but if cats are running around our yard and the neighbors yard you can be sure people will know.

And tell me how on earth will we ever go anywhere for more than a day? We have two automatic feeders now, but they are only 4 feedings each (twice a day for 2 days) and will be gobbled up immediately with 7 cats. We certainly aren't going to board 7 cats and we don't want to ask any of our neighbors to come in our house because we don't know them well enough and if we need to keep our 7 cats a secret then we certainly don't want neighbors in the house.


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## Mapper71

Marmoset said:


> Have the kittens seen a vet for wellness checks? If not take them in and explain your story. They might know of a good place/ home for the kitten to go and it's not unheard of for a vet to opt to keep a kitten for themselves.


His problem now is that he's grown attached to all of them and keeps saying "but they're a family and I hate to split them up". He never really actively looked for people to take them in and when I would look and have people interested I would get "Aw you don't love them" and he'd make me feel horrible. The crazy thing is that he can't even pay his share of the bills on a regular basis but thinks having 7 cats is the right thing to do. He goes "Well I don't want you to get overwhelmed so I will buy their food and scrape out the litter boxes". Gee thanks! This was ALL your idea so you need to do EVERYTHING!

We took two to the vet but have to take the other three in, but as I explained in an earlier post, the vet we chose who has cheap exam fees is only open 9-1 Mon-Fri which doesn't work at all with our work schedules. I get all worked up over how/when we will take them in for checkups and H just says "Chill out it will all be okay". No it won't, not when you make no effort to find a vet or do the transporting!


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## MowMow

Sorry, but if it were me I'd put put my foot down. 

He buys the food, he makes the appoint (and the time) to get them vetted and fixed in a timely manner and he scoops the poop twice a day.

If *HE* is the one who wants them so badly then *HE* needs to be the one to make the time, the money, and the effort for them to stay.

To say you can't break up the 'family' is silly. Cat's don't feel familial connections. Cats can BOND but they don't think of family ties.


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## librarychick

It sounds to me like you don't want to keep 5 kittens, which is understandable.

I think what you need to do is chart out how much it will cost for each kitten's shots, food, litter, and s/n for the first year - then sit down with hubby and have an honest discussion about how much work and cost this will be.

IMO he's being a little selfish by wanting to keep all the kittens, his heart is in the right place, but he's not understanding that with 5 kittens you won't be able to give them the attention they deserve. It's like having 5 toddlers, it CAN be done...but it's a heck of a lot more work than 1 toddler, and each one will get a smaller piece of your attention because of it.

You can't just surrender the kittens without his knowledge...but maybe ask your vet if they know anyone who's looking, or if you can put up a flyer in the vet office. That way you'll know the people who want kittens take their pets to the vet, aka will care for them, and that may be a good place to start.

...I'd also mention that with 5 kittens all indoor/outdoor your chances of one 'going missing' go drastically up. How would hubby handle that? Wouldn't' it be better for some of the kittens to be adopted out - as a pair - to an indoor only home?

Krissy is right, they don't have the same sort of familial bond humans do. When all those kittens start to hit maturity there's no guarantee that they'll all get along. The more cats you have the higher chance you get personality conflicts.


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## 10cats2dogs

Mapper,
You definitely need a sit down talk with hubby...
It is one thing to willingly take on added responsibility...it is another, to have it forced on you...that is going to cause resentment and arguments, which no one needs...
I am already sensing resentment, and I don't blame you...hubby just hasn't gotten it yet...

Five kittens, will be work, and will take a big chunk of time, especially if you want them to be social...

Can cats bond? Yes! 
Even with other animals! 
Do they have a Family Concept? 
NO! not at all like us!
It's not like splitting up a human family at all!

Also if hubby likes to be able to take off at the drop of a hat, for a vacation...
That's not going to be such a simple thing anymore!
You will need to find a pet sitter, and plan for that expense as well!
Best bet, call around and find out what any pet sitters are charging in your area...than add that cost to your vacation fund.
I'm talking about a licensed & bonded sitter, so you don't have to worry about being ripped off, while you're gone!

In your particular circumstances, it would be better for all, kittens and humans, to have a smaller number to worry about...

Cats are emotional sponges, and will pick up any stress from you guys...
Stress can cause physical issues with cats...
Which can lead to more vet visits...which leads to more stress all around...which leads to...etc, etc, etc.

Other's have given some good ideas, on how to find a no kill shelter or adopters...
Good Luck and I hope your hubby "will get" it, and understand why you just can't keep all of them...
Sharon


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## Mapper71

It's like he's become so judgmental of people who have inquired about them. There is one kitten, a gray tiger-striped one who is the smallest one, that 3 people have asked about. That one could have found a home long ago, but according to H it's "Just too darn cute to give up". Another one he was ready to let go with another when a couple came and spent time with them however after they left he realized he didn't want to let that one go either and he didn't think they were very knowledgeable about cats seeing as how he hadn't had one for years and his wife never had pets. He also got the vibe that they wouldn't let the cats go outside and he insists that the cats be able to go outside. Turns out they weren't interested in either of the 2 but wanted the tiger-striped one as well! Another friend has inquired about having one but he doesn't think she's responsible enough. And forget about the no-kill shelter. At this point he thinks it's cruel to send any to a shelter when they have a cozy home now! We were sitting in the living room last night and he says to me "See here we are and not a cat in sight". Well la di dah! By all means then lets bring on some more!

Forget about talking to him about the cost of everything because he has already minimized it saying that cat food is only .50 a can and we can buy them in bulk and dry food will last forever and the vet's exam is cheap at only $20 and we'll keep them clean and the house clean and they won't need to go to the vet that much and yadda yadda yadda.


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## librarychick

The fact is that the more cats you add, and the fact that they go outside, means they are at higher risk of injuries and illnesses. They will simply be coming into contact with more things, so the risk goes up.

It's easy to minimize the cost as 'a little here and a little there' (trust me...there's a reason we ended up with 4 cats, lol), BUT it's a LOT harder to justify when you start adding it all up. Look for the sales, and the bulk prices, show him that even doing it 'cheaply' won't be that cheap.

Keep in mind a growing kitten at 4-6 months needs nearly double the food an adult cat does!

And, if all that doesn't work - send him here to us! Have him read all the threads where someone is overwhelmed with their single kitten, or two kittens. It isn't just about cleaning, food and vet bills. It's about the amount of trouble 5 naughty babies can get into.


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## 10cats2dogs

Mapper,
OMG! He REALLY isn't getting it!
(No wonder you're so stressed!)

I totally agree with Librarychick's post above...

Also as kittens, they would adapt beautifully to indoor only! And being someone's PAMPERED cat!

Mine are indoor only! And they're a very happy bunch!
And that includes some who as adults, had been indoor/outdoor, previously.


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## cat owner again

I would be just like your husband finding something wrong with any one who wanted to adopt but I know that is foolish especially if I need to rehome my cats. Basically I think you know that this is not a smart move. I think it will eventually bring stress to your household. I have also had indoor/outdoor cats and they bring in dirt, do get injured now and then, and I have to make sure I keep up vaccinations, flea medicine and that really adds up. They are at perfect age to adopt out. And you know I have a mother and son that both would like to be single cat households. They compete for my lap. How many laps does your husband have  I think it is time for a serious talk without the kittens around to see how cute they are.


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## Mapper71

10cats2dogs said:


> Mapper,
> OMG! He REALLY isn't getting it!


You are right, he REALLY doesn't get it. No matter what I say I will be the bad guy or he will minimize my concern. I even said to him "How are we ever going to go away for more than a weekend now?" and he says "Well we have the automatic feeders and we can get another one. They will end up being outside cats too and can always go out and look for food if we are gone for an extra day"! NOTHING will change his mind.


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## Mapper71

cat owner again said:


> I have also had indoor/outdoor cats and they bring in dirt, do get injured now and then, and I have to make sure I keep up vaccinations, flea medicine and that really adds up.


Well the thing is, our two adult cats don't get flea treatment unless I buy it. They don't go to the vet on a regular basis because "they are fine" according to him. Yup minimize, minimize, minimize!


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## librarychick

I think you need to sit down and have a serious chat with your hubby. It sounds like he's acting pretty childishly about this and he's not understanding your feelings.

Sit him down and say "I am feeling very stressed out by this. 5 kittens is a lot of work, and it's way more than I agreed to take on. I am feeling overruled, and not respected when you say these things - as though they will happen without effort or financial commitment." Keep your words and tone calm, and non accusatory. But he needs to know how overwhelmed you are. Maybe once he sees that stress, and really understands it, he'll come around?

Short of that...To be honest I'd be tempted to have potential adopters over when he isn't home. Don't send the kittens away without telling him, but have someone lined up that you can 'personally vouch for'. If he doesn't respect you enough to trust your opinion...well, there are bigger issues there than a cat forum, even one as great as this, can handle.


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## 10cats2dogs

Ditto↑↑↑


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