# I still miss him after a year



## wolfheartmoon

Last year on the fourteenth, my old cat Jazz-Purr was put to sleep because of diabetes. I still keep wishing we'd caught on sooner, I still feel guilty for having him euthanized, because at the time, I was really bad financially, and could barely afford the food he needed, and then the insulin he needed to get better? Not a chance. I could afford the insulin, I could afford the food, but not both. The poor boy could barely walk the neoropathy got so bad so quickly. We found out from our vet on his second diabetes checkup, that he was actually between nine and eleven years old too, we were told he was three. We think his old owner knew full-well that Jazzy had diabetes and wouldn't be adopted if she said anything. I believe she didn't want to put him down herself. 
I adopted him from the shelter in October the year before last. I barely had the poor boy. He was already huge, but either the diabetes wasn't there at his first checkup, or the vet didn't think to look for it. By the time we caught on, we made a small attempt to get him insulin, but the cheap stuff, because we couldn't afford what he needed. And then when he started falling over because he couldn't walk, I couldn't deal with it anymore and said he needed to be put to sleep. I know I barely had him, but he was my second pet, and the first pet I ever had to make the decision to euthanize him.
I know he was suffering, but I still miss him so much some days. I miss him rubbing around my legs every morning for his canned food. And I miss him wrapping his paws around my neck and licking my hair. He just loved to give kisses. 
Would I stop myself from adopting that fat lovable ball of fluff if I knew I wouldn't even have him a year? 
No. I loved that big fat boy, he was funny and sweet and adorable. And I always joke that I didn't adopt a cat, I adopted a dog in a cat suit. He was friendly, lovable, and even begged for treats and table scraps. (He'd only get them if it was fish or chicken)


----------



## Kbbargho

That's one of the nicest things I've ever read.

Cats have this ability to imbed themselves in our hearts, no matter how long they are with us.

It sounds like you two loved each other a lot and while the loss may still hurt, just think, you gave him a loving home for the short time you had him, what more is there to say?


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## wolfheartmoon

Yeah, he had a wonderful home with us. It's a good thought for me. That he got loved and snuggled and got water out of the faucet even while he was with us. Mom didn't want me to stay with him when we had him put down, but I did. I held the baby boy and cuddled him.


----------



## Marcia

oh what sad circumstances to have gone through. I had a cat, Maggie for 12 years that I barely was able to tolerate because she was so weirdly wired. I can honestly say I was not sorry to see her go. You had this baby boy for such a short time and look how he touched your heart! THAT is so much better. Though it was only a short time, this was true love. We never forget our first true loves do we? I hope you find peace knowing you loved him so much, and he you.


----------



## wallycat

How old was Jazz-purr?
It sounds like you did a wonderful and generous thing. Taking him out of a shelter is kind. His remaining time was spent cuddled, hugged, loved and cared for; things many of us dream for. 
Diabetes is hard enough in humans, never mind animals. Animals can't tell us what they feel and you have to remember that cats especially try to hide pain or discomfort.
It is one of the things I think about when I ever contemplate adding more to my brood...not that they would allow me any more cats in the community nor would the 3 angels I have take a new cat in well....but finances are an issue and should be considered anytime we consider having pets. You did great and should enjoy the memories you have of Jazz-purr. His suffering is over and he died in a loving home.


----------



## wolfheartmoon

He was at least nine the vet said, possibly eleven, but she couldn't tell exactly because his teeth weren't in great shape. I would of surrendered him, but being at least nine, with really bad neropathy and diabetes with paying a hundred dollars a month JUST for insulin, then the food he needed on top of that, again another hundred dollars a month. I thought it was better to have him put to sleep then put him through regular vet visits when he HATED HATE HATED car trips, they stressed him out so bad, or surrender him to our bad shelter where he'd be killed there.


----------



## gizmothecat

Soooo sweet!!


----------



## marie5890

I understand. Completely.

On the 22nd I come upon the day I had to say "goodbye" to my BELOVED BLUES...she also was 14 y/o....she was in renal failure

I miss her every every every day.....Did I stress, every day?

A part of us does go with them when they go, and we are never fully the same again...We go on because we have to, but a part of us went with them.

At least, a part of me, went with her....


----------



## Kbbargho

That's exactly what it is. My eldest Karis died 2 years ago (3 in march). She was 21...I'd had her since I was four years old.

Even now I cry over her, i miss her so much, but that's how much they become part of our lives. I feel blessed that I had 21 years with her, I'm very aware that its unusual.

The pain you feel when you lose them is unreal, but it reminds me how much I loved her and some pains are worth having.


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## marie5890

Oh hugs to you and petpets to Karis...

Yes some pains are worth having. I am soo grateful that Blues (and her sister, Rhythm, who went 10 weeks to the day after her) were part of my life...

This year has been extra-ordinarily hard. Painful. Sad. I miss them every day. EVERY day!!!

I still however have Harmony and Cricket that I have to take care of. SO while I cry in grief over missing them, I make sure I smile with Harmony and Cricket.

They deserve a happy and as stressfree life as possible...

BUt I miss them. Their very presence. Their very soul...Every day, I miss them...


----------



## Lovemychanel

I am really having a hard time with losing my fur baby it's only been 4 days and I am ate up with heartache...


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## wolfheartmoon

He's been gone a year now. I miss him so much.


----------



## Lovemychanel

What happened to your fur baby? 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## wolfheartmoon

The whole story is, we found him at the shelter fat and overweight already. We didn't think anything of it, we already had a fifteen year old lab who was obese, but she was fine. The cat however, got diabetes, and neropathy so bad I couldn't stand watching him TRY to walk around anymore. He couldn't get onto his favorite chair or even into the litterbox right anymore.


----------



## Lovemychanel

Did you have to put him down? 


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## wolfheartmoon

Yes. I couldn't afford his medicine, nor his food. And I certainly couldn't afford both. And he couldn't walk right anymore or get into his favorite chair anymore, couldn't get up the stairs. I thought it was better for him to be put down.


----------



## Lovemychanel

I know how you feel about it...it was the most difficult thing ever!! I realize more than ever I gave Link a gift...a way out even though it tears me up...I am sorry for your pain and here any time along with this awesome fur baby family who several have gone through and some now going through...it helps me and hoping it will help you as well to talk about your fur baby)) hugs))


Sent from Petguide.com Free App


----------



## marie5890

GROUP HUGS 

To all of us who have had to send our furry ones on ahead of us, and still miss, miss, miss them so very much.


----------



## marie5890

And it's important to remind ourselves, when the guilt flares of this very important point.

We didnt abuse our kidderies. They werent neglected or anything like that. They were loved, deeply, and we really did do the best we could, with what we had.

They knew they were loved. They knew they were safe with us. They knew we cared, deeply.


----------



## cat owner again

Love comes with some strings especially when we lose those we love. I think when an animal is really failing and suffering, no matter what we do it is going to lead to the same thing. There is a quality of life issue and yes, finances do matter. But more so, we have the ability to end suffering for them and take it upon ourselves. I kept wracking my brain if I could have done something different for my dog until I found a health diary I kept on his condition an saw that his passing was merciful for him. It takes a long time for the hurt to dull. I hope it speeds up for all of you who have had to say goodbye....


----------

