# Keep the cat or the dog? HELP!!!!



## eloisekitty (Feb 25, 2004)

Me and my husband have a 2 years old male American bobtail cat and a 2 years old German Shepperd. Both taken as kitten and puppy. They are both very loving and me and my husband enjoy them both a lot. Needless to say, I have a preference for my cat and my husband for the dog. Recently, the cat has been showing anymosity towards the dog and he is hissing and showing him the nails in a very menacing way. I know that the dog is very well behaved and would never do any harm to anyone, as a matter fact, he is a bit of a coward. Anyway, I'm concerned that to protect himself he can bite the cat, and it only takes one bite from a dog of his size to tear him apart. 

Me and my husband are raising arguments to give away of one of them and so far I'm losing. The only argument I have is that I love my pretty kitty. On the other hand, I understand that my husband loves the dog very much too. What should I do? Someone help.


----------



## Gracie's Mom (Dec 16, 2003)

If I'm understanding this correctly they use to get along and now they don't-right? Is it possible a medical condition could be causing this cat to act out suddenly? I think you should rule out any medical problems first before giving up one of the animals. If no medical problems are found, keep them seperate, and start back from square one. If you never leave them alone together, you won't have to worry about the dog hurting the cat or visa versa. I encourage you to do what ever you can to work things out before getting rid of either animal.


----------



## eloisekitty (Feb 25, 2004)

They were both raised togheter, and there is no medical condition since we take them both to the vet regularly. We try reintroducing them to each other and I guess my cat simply don't like the dog anymore. We always kept both indoors and it's impossible not to have them sharing the house equally, but if that was the case, the cat would be shunned by my hubby, since he is the trouble maker. I'm afraid that keeping him always from us can bring resentments to the cat too.


----------



## ForJazz (Dec 30, 2003)

Just remember that even though your animals get regular checkups, your kitty can still have something go wrong that was not visible at last checkup. If there is nothing visually wrong, I'd try an animal behaviorist. If your animals got along before and now your cat just doesn't like the dog -- it could be any number of things. The animal behaviorist could evaluation it's environment and pick up on little things or changes that you might have initially not thought mattered. I think it is your best bet if you want your animals to get along again. I know of one at littlebigcat.com who does phone consultations -- he is very good. Maybe he could help you. 

If you are dead set on getting rid of one animal,  then I'd suggest looking at your futures. Do you want kids? Are you thinking of moving? Which animal would deal better in these situations. Which animal is the most bonded to both of you? I would also try and get a close family member or friend to take the animal so that you could trust them and keep close tabs on the animal.


----------



## theboyfriend (Feb 17, 2004)

Would you use the same argument if it was the dog being mean to your cat? If your answer is yes, your husband have a very strong argument. Could the cat be jealous? Do you have kids? Do you think the cat would exhibit the same behavior towards a child? If you think this is possible, out the door he goes. 

Don't strain your relationship because of a pet, it's not worth. You can always get another one that is well behaved.


----------



## ForJazz (Dec 30, 2003)

I disaggree with something theboyfriend said. An animal is not a library book that you can rent for a while and return when you're done with it to get a new one. When you get an animal, you should realize that to be a good pet owner, you're making a committment for the duration of the animal's life. Through changes, through hard times. Because no animal comes with a guarantee just like people. But unlike boyfriends or girlfriends who you can break up with and move on from, you made a committment to care for this animal, because it cannot care for itself. 

I feel like that's what you feel -- you care for both pets. I don't think that giving one of your pets to someone you trust is bad if it's what is best for the animal, or if it's a danger to you. I'm not going to get down on you if that's the case at all. But animals can't talk to us. They can't tell us what's wrong even though they usually have a very good reason. And if you can't figure it out yourself -- then talking to a professional is great. They might save your animal and your companion by speaking for them. They can give you the most options when you feel you've run out. And after all -- this animal's life is your responsibility. You're still taking responsibility for it if you believe the animal would be better off with someone you trust.


----------



## Tigurius (Feb 23, 2004)

just a thought... arnt you the woman of the house hold? ... lay down the law to him ... and well .. coward dog? or protective cat? ... maybe find out why the cat resents the dog now.


----------



## kitkat (Sep 22, 2003)

Get your cat to the vet to see if anything is wrong with your cat that maybe they looked over. When you rule that out, try to re-associate them together and if that doesn't work it seems best to give your cat away to a good friend or a family member like someone mentioned earlier. Hopefully things work out and you can keep your cat, I know I would never be able to give away my cats! <<))


----------



## Littlebigcatdaddy (Jan 16, 2004)

Hi Eloisekitty,

As the Behavior consultant that Forjazz was referring to, I urge you to listen to what most are saying here; there is a reason why the cat turned on the dog so suddenly. As suggested, that reason may be behavioral or medical in nature, but it is very rare that a cat, raised with another animal since they were both very young, would just "turn" for no reason.

I think it's a fairly immediate situation, as you suggest, to get to the bottom of. The dog can do a whole world of hurt to your cat in a matter of seconds. But to consider "getting rid" of a pet you're attached to without exploring why the behavior happened in the first place might be just as damaging to you and your husband's relationship than to simply give in. What if this could have been remedied?

Finally, what can I say about boyfriend's input? suggesting that you're putting your relationship in danger and possibly your future children by keeping an unpredictable cat is simply hysteria. One would have to assume your relationship is built on firm enough ground to withstand a trial like this. Personal opinion here, granted, but I think he's just mad at this whole forum for some reason and letting it out on your thread. And I'll leave it there.

I hope you seek assistance, whether medical, behavioral or a combination, And keep us all posted!


----------



## Annissa (Dec 9, 2003)

Eloisekitty,

I have to agree with Littlebigcatdaddy here and add a little of my personal experience to the mix.

My partner did not like my cat when we got together and insisted I get rid of him. I couldn't do that. I did consider it because I love my fiance and, in my opinion, my relationship with him is more important than having a pet. I thought about it for a long time and in the end decided not to get rid of Sabastion. I explained to Justin that if I got rid of Sabby that I would forever resent that he made me do it. I love my cat. To be forced to give away something I love so much would have ruined my relationship with my fiance. I would no longer have a cat and the relationship would not have lasted. 

I've been lucky that over the years Sabby and Justin have come to really love one another. Sometimes I think Sabastion loves Justin even more than he loves me. 

Please consider how you will feel in the future if you decide to rehome your animal. As someone else suggested, if you do decide to rehome your cat, try to put it with someone you know.


----------



## Eric24 (Jan 12, 2004)

As usual, I agree with littlecatbigdaddy. It would be troubling to think that a relationship would come to an end over something (that can be fixed) like this....Talk to a behavior specialist. Contrary to theboyfriend, whom is now emulating David Letterman (minus the humor), animals should not be treated like video rentals at your local Blockbuster or whatever video outlet is in your area. Just because people refer to themselves, sometimes, as pet "owners" does not entitle you to make hastily thought out decisions about the pet's life because you "own" it. You are the parent of the pet, you are responsible for making well thought out/quality decision for what's ultimately best for both you and your pet. What happens if you have 2 children that don't get along? Will that cause a strain on your relationship? Or would you be able to sit down and come up with solutions to alleviate the problem is the best way for everybody, not just one person. I'm not saying you, the original poster, are this way. I sense your frustration and concern for your baby. My advice would be to have a long talk with your significant other regarding this situation. There are plenty of solutions/alternatives available to you, in lieu of sending your animal off somewhere else.

I would advise people that feel like they are "owners" and treat their animals in a Stalin type fashion, to watch the Lion King. We are all part of the circle of life, and should respect all of it. Perhaps someday these people will be brought back to life as homeless, unloved animals...and they will see what happens when you treat animals like yesterday's newspaper!


----------



## brandon (Dec 31, 2003)

Annissa is right I would do everything you could to including talking to the professionals. Only as a last resort would I consider removing either animal from the house. I think you will do more to hurt your relationship by caving in than by trying the hard road. 

As far as "theboyfriend" goes its unclear to me why he comes to this forum. Its pretty obvious he doesnt consider the responibility pets in his house anything more that something to dispose of at the point that they are not fully functional.


----------



## Lilly (Nov 8, 2003)

eloisekitty;
I think it is very odd that all the sudden your kitty does not like your dog? I am curious if anythinng may have happened to affect his attitude toward the dog. What that may be I would have no idea.

Is the behavior of your cat really so threatining to your dog that you would really have to get rid of your cat? I only ask because I have 5 cats and a large dog (chow mixed with lab) My dog has at times been an aggresive dog, however he never hurts his family and that includes his cats. Sometimes the cats will annoy him, especially the kittens. However he will only growl or sometimes he jumps up with a bark, just to let the cats know they are bothering him, he never bites them.


theboyfreind;
*I am glad you decided to post agian at the forum, I think sometimes we need a new prospective on things.* I do wish you would try to be less critical of what people say, the way I see it a forum is intended to give several point of views. We may not always agree with someone elses point, however we only asked the initail question so that we may hear others thought on the subject. Your opinion is no more important than someone elses.

I also want to say, I agree that it is not right to get an animal and then just give them away when most convenient for you. I think before a person even decides to get an animal, they should weigh all consequences and decide if this is a commitement they are willing to make for 15 or more years.
I do agree with finding a new home for our animals in some situations, If this is something you have really thought over and you think it is in the best interest of your animal to find it a better home than do so...just make sure you are finding it a better home and only a better home!

I think theboyfreind should find his cat a better home, I have two children and 5 cats ect.... My children have been raised around animals all their lives. They know how to behave towards an animal. As well as my animals know how to behave towards them. My animals live indoors and are not shut out of any rooms. 
If my daughters get scratched by one of my cats it is not the cats fault, it is my daughters fault for doing somethin to hurt the cat. They have been scratched before, however so few and far between because they know how to treat animals.


----------



## Rayona (Jul 24, 2003)

Eloise, I can't quite understand why you think you ought to get rid of the cat. It has been fussy with the dog, but has it actually DONE anything? My mom has 2 cats and a dog, and one of the cats is kind of nuts, hissing and swiping at the dog, but at the end of the day they bed down and sleep together. The cat has never hurt the dog, and the dog never hurts the cat. 

Pets don't always get along, just a children and people don't either, but that doesn't mean that they will be violent. You and your husband both have responsibilties to both pets, not just the one you brought into the relationship. If he won't give up his dog, why should you have to relinquish your cat? 

I would bet that, with a camera and a little research, you will discover that the dog is really the one harrassing the cat. The cat is reaching an age where playing is not as interesting, but the dog is probably still quite youthful and energetic. I would try some play therapy with both the cat and dog separately, give them both a bath with the same shampoo, and try a behaviorologist. I wish you and your cat much luck.


----------



## Lori (Jun 8, 2003)

I agree that it is very sad that one of you should have to give up your pet. I know several cat/dog households were they don't get along perfectly and never have. In one case the cat just never really took to the dog and leaves the room or hisses when the dog comes near. The dog, which happens to also be a German Sheppard, likes the cat, just not the other way around. Their owners have accepted it and just accept each pet as they are. 
I know it would be best if your pets got along, but I don't think that is always possible. Is your husband afraid the cat will actually hurt the dog? I can't imagine a cat being able to harm a German Sheppard. 
Only you can decide what you need to do, good luck with whatever you decide to do.


----------



## Guest (Feb 25, 2004)

As many of you have suggested, I am not giving up my kittie. There's absolutely no reason for that. He's extremely happy in this household and so are we. Now let's try to concentrate on the problem that came about on this thread.

There are many things that could be causing your cat to react this way. First things that comes to my head is that a cat usually enjoys a certain peace and quiet, sort of their privacy as they grow older. A dog on the other hand may request the cat's attention at all times. Or even at times that the cat doesn't feel like being bothered. In other words, your cat might be getting annoyed by the dog's goofiness. 

Another thing that comes to mind is jealousy. Your cat might be growing jealousy towards you or your husband. I suggest you guys try to play with them equally and not give them favoritism in front of the other. For example, have your husband spend sometime with the cat as well. 

I am totally against separating them because it'll only aggravate the problem in the long run. Your cat will get used to being w/o the dog and by the time you try to put them back together , they'll be like total strangers.


----------



## ForJazz (Dec 30, 2003)

lsysdev said:


> As many of you have suggested, I am not giving up my kittie. There's absolutely no reason for that. He's extremely happy in this household and so are we.


I just want to say that the only reason anyone thinks you should rehome your cat is because of the thread you made saying how depressed he was because your boyfriend moved in and was yelling at it and how you thought your boyfriend had hit it. You posted it on a cat forum -- of course people here cared about the well-being of your cat. 

theboyfriend -- that list you posted will do nothing to change the way eloisekitty feels about her cat. The point of this thread was to help find a way to make BOTH her and her husband happy -- and you obviously have no intention of trying to do that. It seems like you only say things here because you are annoyed that people on this forum love cats so much. It's a cat forum...what did you expect? If that annoys you, then simply don't come here and get yourself all worked up. 

You also come across like you're projecting your own relationship onto eloisekitty. Your girlfriend posted here first. That means she must care. Therefore, her motives for coming here are no different than anyone else here. Does *that* annoy you too? 

You don't know anything about the personal lives of people here, so you have no right to judge or generalize -- you'll never be right if you do that. Everyone is different -- there are people of all kinds and backgrounds here, so there's no way for you to peg everyone at once. You come across as a person who just wants to make other people angry because YOU are annoyed or angry. I hope that's not the case, but if it is you might as well try a different outlet for the anger -- this forum was here way before you and the members won't budge just because you don't like it. 

Eloisekitty -- yes! Littlebigcatdaddy is the one you want to contact -- he's very good and he might have some good advice. I think someone in this thread took it to an extreme by saying that everyone here thinks you should put your relationship in jeopardy for the cat...no one said that. In fact, you never even mentioned that it was putting strain on your relationship. But yeah...it could. It's just that you never mentioned that as a problem. 

Anyway -- I'm not suggesting you tell your husband "its you or the cat" -- just saying that this is something that you can work out as a couple. It doesn't need to end in you choosing, which is something you don't want to do from the way it sounds. There are tons of other options besides rehoming the cat -- rehoming without exploring what might be a very fixable problem just seems like you're giving up too soon. And in your marriage I'm sure you'll come across harder obstacles than this, and in a marriage you can't just give up or take the easy way out, as you well know. You are lucky this time -- there are options!  

My main point is -- TRY before giving up. You both love your animals, and you can BOTH be happy. There are things that can be done.


----------



## Lilly (Nov 8, 2003)

I would like to clarify why I suggested theboyfreind should not have a cat
*lsysdev said*


> as many of you suggested, I am not giving up my kittie. Theres absolutely no reason for that. Hes extremly happy in this houshold and so are we.


you posted a previous thread to ask for advice on your depressed cat.

*theboyfreind said*


> Top ten resons why dogs are better pets than cats





> dont strain your relatonship because of a pet, its not worth it, you can always get another one who is better behaved.


the boyfriend also said in a previous thread... something to the effect of,
_'there is no way that cat will be around my baby.'_
_'that cat will not be in my table in my house_

the last thing I would like to clear up with theboyfreind is this comment

_'its a shame that you people are so lonely and have to much time on your hands_ from a previous thread

I for one am neither lonely nor do I have to much time on my hands. I am a married mother of two children. I work at hoime and away from home. I help at my daughters schools. I also happen to love animals, I own 5 cat as well as a dog. I come to the forum for advice on taking care of my cats. 

With all that being said, I dont want to cause any more of an argument with either lysydev or theboyfreind. The last post was shut down because everyone had resorted to childish behavior. I think we can easily avoid that by remembering our manners.
I am glad to see both of you posting again on the forum. 

I know that you love your cat, if you did not you would not have searched for advice on this problem. The reason I am suggesting you rehome your kitty is because when your baby is born you are going to have your hands full with your newborn. This will not leave alot of time for your kitty. If your relatonship *with your cat* is not a strong one you are going to push your cat away from you and your baby every time your cat is around. This is not a happy life for a cat.
Children are very precious, especially your first, if your boyfriend alreay says that cat will not be around my baby....how are you all going to live together? And at whos expense? The cat of course is the one who will suffer..right?
I really am not being judgmental or critical of you, even though it may come accross that way. I know you live your cat, I am just not so sure how much your boyfreind loves your cat.


----------



## greyhoundmom (Feb 24, 2004)

Have you considered that maybe the cat is trying to tell the dog that he (the cat) is the boss? Lots of cats will put dogs in their place, and as long as the dog is happy with its position, everyone can live happily. 

We had an incident three years ago between our two cats--Daisy very nearly severed Sammy's Achilles' tendon. Sure, they can't stand each other even now, after five years together, but we weren't about to rehome one of them! The surgery cost us almost $800, but when you get a pet you get them for life, and it's your responsibility to care for them. 

Sounds like there's no REAL aggression, just a little hissing etc, as maybe a "power play". I say ride it out. Separate them when you aren't home if that would ease your mind. I did that with my two cats for a long time. 

Good luck!


----------



## Guest (Feb 27, 2004)

how about reading my thread later on giving everyone an update on how my cat was fully recovered?
I also made another post as to how i was hospitalized the next day after my cat was sick and even suggested that maybe my cat had foreseen some of this. But anyway, peace out.


----------



## eloisekitty (Feb 25, 2004)

Sorry I wasn't able to get back sooner, a lot happened since my last post. 

"But unlike boyfriends or girlfriends who you can break up with and move on from, you made a committment to care for this animal, because it cannot care for itself." 

Forjazz, my marriage was never a question here. Me and my husband have an unbreakable bond and he loves both pets. He loves coming home with tricks and toys for my cat and he is the one who takes him to the vet and everything. I don't know where that came from but is a very insensitive comment.

Back to the subject, I took my cat to a behaviorist and he diagnosed he is simply getting hostile for no reason. He also put the cat in the presence of other cats and he said my cat is very dominant and territorial and that explains why the dog would be sleeping and for no apparent reason he would hiss and tease him. It boiled down when I was playing with my kitty and he hissed at me and nail me right in my forehead, only inches from my eyes. Didn't get too bad but it scared the **** out of me and my husband. The amazing thing was that bobby(the dog) got up immediately and started barking at the kitty to protect me. He chased my kitty around the house and sammy hid inside a closet. I guess both incidents were decisive for my husband to take action. He took the cat back to the behaviorist who explained the cat is not adoptable and it would be even irresponsible to let somebody adopt him so they had to put him down. I cried rivers with it but had to accept. My husband has been very supportive and I'm gonna get throught with it, eventually. He proposed me to get another kitty but I'm done with cats.

I thank you all for the help and advices. Theboyfriend, my husband got a real kick out of your jokes. Littlebigcatdaddy, thank you for your suggestions too.


----------



## Empath (Jan 23, 2004)

I feel a great disdain for your behaviorist (hopefully you'll consider the word "disdain" fully, rather than lightly passing over it). I find a great deal of incongruity between your opening post and this one.

It might be you'd expect, since this is a cat forum, that you'd be encouraged not to give up on cats. However, I personally encourage you to stand fast to your resolve to be "done with cats".


----------



## KerriKitty (Feb 10, 2004)

==>


----------



## Lilly (Nov 8, 2003)

==> ))) :?


----------



## Lori (Jun 8, 2003)

))))


----------



## Padunk (Oct 20, 2003)

shocking...

I'm generally very mild mannered around here but I'm glad you're done with cats. Never get one again. :?


----------



## Guest (Feb 28, 2004)

Did anyone see a special on hbo about dog shelter's? For those that didn't it was about a woman that started a shelter on her own house. This family brought in a dog that seemed to be absolutely lovely, but the owner of the shelter had said from the beggining that was one of the most vicious pets she ever had contact with and she had no doubt the dog would have to be put to sleep. Now her co-workers totally disagree , since the dog was brough up in a lovely home, and had no history of abuse. It was one of those unexplainable behaviors and soon enough it turned out the dog pratically ate a plastic hand that the owner used to test dogs that had behavioral issues like him. 
it also showed how cruel some of those shelters that don't put pets to sleep actually is. You see pets locked in cages for the rest of their lives becoming totally hysterical with no hopes of living a normal life. It gave a different perspective. I found it very interesting. Sometimes there is no explanations and you don't have many choices.


----------



## Lilly (Nov 8, 2003)

I do realize that in some circumatanced there are not other options.
(I thought that no kill shelters allowed the animals to run free? Is that not correct?)
However It did not seem from the original post that the cat in question was terribly vicious, I did not read anything like that actually. Other than the cat hissing at the dog...and only all the sudden after two years of peacfull living. It seems odd to me is all, and very sad for the poor cat.


----------



## greyhoundmom (Feb 24, 2004)

Wow. Seems like a pretty extreme thing to do....


----------



## Eric24 (Jan 12, 2004)

In a word......wow.

I wonder what type of backround this "behaviorist" had. If the cat is "dominant and terratorial" it would be perfectly adoptable for a family looking to have one cat, or a single person looking to have one cat. Put the cat down? Hmmm....one wonders...how qualified is this "behaviorist". I've never heard of something like this happening...was the "behaviorist" acutally theboyfriend...or was it your husband...?? Whomever it was, is quite unqualified. If the cat does what you describe..and nothing drastically more...that "behaviorist" is full of it, and I think someone was looking for an easy way out.


Oh yes...regarding this dog shelter thing. Perhaps the dog was angry after being shoved into a shelter and poked and prodded with plastic hands...after living comfortably in a loving home. It seems certain people look as hard as they can to find the bad in animals....that's pretty sad. Imagine what the animals see when they look at you? :shock:

FYI- i'm sure the dog wasn't completely innocent and somewhat contributed to the cats "dominant" behavior. The "behaviorist" is foolish not to see that.


----------



## Annissa (Dec 9, 2003)

I've seen a cat behave like that before and I would have recommended having it put down. It's sad, yes, but this cat (the one I saw personally) was a menace and would hurt itself just to get a chance to hurt you. I was in someone's home and they had to lock the cat in the basement to keep it from attacking strangers. Even with it locked in the basement, the cat would hurl itself against the door, hissing and spitting, trying to get through it to attack.

If your cat was anything like that one, I would agree with the specialist you saw.

I'm sorry you had to make such a hard decision.


----------



## eloisekitty (Feb 25, 2004)

I am really disappointed with what I see here. I believe is partially my fault since I didn't put every single detail about the last events with my kitty. Even if the dog was to blame (which is wasn't) for the cat behavior, I didn't do anything to deserve to spend the rest of my life blind. I only gave him love and attention. Is it responsible to put somebody in danger? Could anyone here life with themselves if that happened? How can anyone judge the behaviorist without knowing all the facts?

I too saw the special and the dog had attacked the owners prior to the plastic hand.

Eric, are you just a pet owner or a qualified specialist?


----------



## Eric24 (Jan 12, 2004)

Both....


Perhaps your cat is injured. You seem quick to dismiss the idea the dog may have been a part of this...did you touch the cat in a specific area when you were playing...I mean, it could be so many things. I understand your concern, however there is more than likely some underlying reason why your cat is acting this way. I just am very taken aback by the fact that this behaviorist seems to have been very dismissive of your cat....Oh it's unadoptable...get rid of it.. Why? Because it's dominant? Lots of animals are....Why? Because it scratched you? Could be a lot of reasons behind that. I understand people don't have the "time" to exhaust every possible avenue....how would you feel if you were the animal.. It lashes out at you once, it's dominant (like many others)...and it's just cast aside. 

Apparently, others feel that you should never bear the responsibility of having another cat....I can't say I disagree.

Furthermore, you don't feel you DESERVE? to spend the rest of your life blind? Does your cat DESERVE to not have a life at all??


----------



## Lilly (Nov 8, 2003)

Annissa it sounds like the cat you are reffering to is wild (feral) 

eloisekitty, I am sorry you are upset by the replies made to your post. I relize sometimes people tend to be critical. I agree, you know the situation better than we do, so of course you made a decision right for your family.

It is just always sad to hear of something who has passed on, you must understand that the comunity of people here at the cat forum are very much cat lovers at heart. No one has ment to disrespect you, we all just dont like to here a sad story of a cat whom has to be euthinized.


----------



## Annissa (Dec 9, 2003)

Lilly, it's a possibility. I didn't know this family and I was in their home doing a job. The only things I do know about it is that it got along well with family members, but not with strangers. And if you could have seen the damage it was doing to itself and that door, I think you might agree with me that it would have been better off put down. That's no life for a cat.

I'm also sad to hear Eloise's reaction to other people's reactions on this forum, though I can't say I'm surprised by it. Some people have a habit of making some pretty inflammatory remarks. I hope I wasn't one of them. I only want to give advice when and where its asked for.


----------



## Eric24 (Jan 12, 2004)

eloisekitty...I apologize if my postings have made it seem like I am attacking you personally. I certainley am not and do not want it to sound that way. I just believe in taking every single measure imaginable to save animals, and sometimes that comes off the wrong way-I apologize for that. 


Annissa....what's up with the barb towards people making "inflammatory remarks"? If your only giving advice when it's asked for, who asked for that? This hightened sense of morality your holding yourself to is very self serving...so some people are have stronger opinions than others, one shouldn't cast them off as immature and foolish (which is what inflammatory suggests to some degree) simply because they don't come off as nice as you? :roll:


----------



## Annissa (Dec 9, 2003)

Eric24 said:


> Annissa....what's up with the barb towards people making "inflammatory remarks"? If your only giving advice when it's asked for, who asked for that? This hightened sense of morality your holding yourself to is very self serving...so some people are have stronger opinions than others, one shouldn't cast them off as immature and foolish (which is what inflammatory suggests to some degree) simply because they don't come off as nice as you? :roll:


Do you think you're one of the people I was talking about? Interesting...

I'm not a mod and I'm not here to police now "nice" you are. But this is the third person who's been alienated by things people have said to her. I wrote that to Eloise as a sign that I'm on her side.

Oh, and that wasn't advice, that was my opinion, which according to you I am entitled to have.


----------



## Eric24 (Jan 12, 2004)

Oh, and that wasn't advice, that was my opinion, which according to you I am entitled to have.[/quote]


Right....and no one was bashing yours as you did ours. And yes, I probably was one of the people you were referring to. I know I can come off as abrasive..etc...some people can better mask their emotions than others. And it's interesting to note you are taking "sides". The prevailing side here is the cat's side. Would taking sides be considered inflammatory?


----------



## Annissa (Dec 9, 2003)

Eric24 said:


> Would taking sides be considered inflammatory?


I suppose that would depend on the person who's doing the beholding. Am I inflamed? Nope. I believe I once told you in another thread that I don't get upset about stuff posted on a message board. It's nothing personal.


----------



## Eric24 (Jan 12, 2004)

Annissa said:


> Eric24 said:
> 
> 
> > Would taking sides be considered inflammatory?
> ...



8)


----------



## Empath (Jan 23, 2004)

eloisekitty said:


> How can anyone judge the behaviorist without knowing all the facts?


The only facts we have are the reports you've given us. You said:



eloisekitty said:


> I *took* my cat to a behaviorist and he diagnosed......


There are animal behaviorists that are used by animal shelters. They have a responsibility to evaluate the animals in a shelter environment as to whether they are "adoptable" or should be euthanized. It's not the ideal setting under which to work, but it's all they've got. They haven't the opportunity to view or evaluate the animal otherwise.



eloisekitty said:


> He *took* the cat back to the behaviorist who explained the cat is not adoptable......


There are animal behaviorists that work with pets in a different setting. They're the ones that evaluate and treat behavior problems of pets that already have a home. Now it could be that some of the shelter animal behaviorists may also attempt to work outside the shelter environment, maybe even applying the same methods and evaluation techniques used within the shelter. It certainly would seem to be a lot less work and effort to have the cats brought to you than having to visit the family in the home setting to observe and evaluate. If your "behaviorist" has found a workable method of making this easier way work, he should by all means educate the reputable behaviorists that have found it necessary to schedule at home visits to observe and evaluate cats within their home settings. I doubt though, that you'll find the reputable pet behaviorists willing to blind themselves to proper assessment by observing the cats only under extreme, stressful and foreign clinical settings.

At this point though, any discussion is only academic; it would mean nothing and accomplish nothing.


----------



## eloisekitty (Feb 25, 2004)

"Furthermore, you don't feel you DESERVE? to spend the rest of your life blind? Does your cat DESERVE to not have a life at all"

Wow. I wish you the best, Eric. I pray to God that nothing evil even fall upon you. I'm not being sarcastic. 

Thank you for the support,annissa. God bless you.


----------



## Eric24 (Jan 12, 2004)

[quote="eloisekittyWow. I wish you the best, Eric. I pray to God that nothing evil even fall upon you. I'm not being sarcastic. 
.[/quote]

:roll: 

Wait..let me agree with you so I don't get hit by a tractor trailer today...I'm being sarcastic

You want to talk about evil? Evil is the woman in Connecticut who tortured and killed a defenseless cat over a dispute with her roomate (the one who had the cat)....www.peta.org...Evil should befall that person...not me for simply disagreeing with you.

If you disagree with me, or take offense to something I said-that's ok. Please do not drag religion into this and start talking about you "praying" for me. Let me tell you something....Most people face evil almost on a daily basis...in some shape or form. I can handle adversity and "evil", I'm a strong person. If something "evil" falls upon me for disagreeing with you, I think I can deal with it. For you to say something like "I pray to god nothing evil falls upon you", whether your being sarcastic or not...is ridiculous and petty. There are plenty worse things people do than disagree with someone regarding the euthanization of cats...


----------



## eloisekitty (Feb 25, 2004)

I realize now that you <insults edited out, catman, 3/2>


----------



## Eric24 (Jan 12, 2004)

eloisekitty said:


> I realize now that you are <edit, catman>



Riiiight...laughable. At least your done w/cats...which I am pleased about, along with others on this board.

I may be abrasive...but I don't think evil is accurate...again, the hypocritical nature of your posts is comical. Because I don't agree with you, and wasn't suttle about it...I'm evil? ==>


----------



## catman (Oct 12, 2002)

if this thread can continue without insults i will leave it open. if not i will lock this thread and edit or delete posts.


----------



## Eric24 (Jan 12, 2004)

I'm sorry. Sometimes I get carried away. :wink:


----------



## eloisekitty (Feb 25, 2004)

catman, you be the judge.


----------



## catman (Oct 12, 2002)

to all:

we can disagree and be respectful at the same time. insults or rude behavior do not help anyone.


----------



## Lilly (Nov 8, 2003)

eloisekitty said:


> Me and my husband have a 2 years old male American bobtail cat and a 2 years old German Shepperd. Both taken as kitten and puppy. They are both very loving and me and my husband enjoy them both a lot. Needless to say, I have a preference for my cat and my husband for the dog. Recently, the cat has been showing anymosity towards the dog and he is hissing and showing him the nails in a very menacing way. I know that the dog is very well behaved and would never do any harm to anyone, as a matter fact, he is a bit of a coward. Anyway, I'm concerned that to protect himself he can bite the cat, and it only takes one bite from a dog of his size to tear him apart.
> 
> Me and my husband are raising arguments to give away of one of them and so far I'm losing. The only argument I have is that I love my pretty kitty. On the other hand, I understand that my husband loves the dog very much too. What should I do? Someone help.


This is eloise kittys original post. I do not read in this post anthing about the cat in question being out of control, or vicious?

Ok I do agree that some of the things that have been said are silly and childish. However eloisekitty posted here asking for advice on a problem, and got replies per her request.


annissa; I really dont agree that there have been three people alienated. No one has ever been rude to lysdev at all. All replies to lysdev's original post were in response to the original situation posted. 

Obviously lysdev's boyfreind was not happy with the way he was portrayed and wanted to come clarify the story. So then the situation was downplayed. I belive people have always posted civilly and respectfully to lysdev.

As far as theboyfreind, he aleinates himself. He is rude and has spoken rudley to the people at the cat forum. He only posts here to cause trouble and nothing else. 

Ok back to eloisekitty; I agree there have been childish remarks made. However, I have never even heard of a behaviorlist. I think your cat should have been taken to a doctor to see what caused his behavior to change so suddenly.

Also I do not agree at all that you should have euthinized that cat. I think by saying he was unadoptable you are making up excuses. I have a cat (Minnie) who is not very freindly. She would not do well in a home where people did not understand her. She likes to be left alone, she does not want to be petted or messed with at all. She could have potential to be mean to someone. However she is not mean, or unadoptable in the right home. (not that I would ever consider giveing her away)

I have a large family of pets including a dog, as well as small children. I have stated this before, my children know that they should be kind to animals. They have never been mean to my animals therefore the animals have never been mean to them. Minnie is a very loveing cat in her own way. She loves to be near us all the time, she lays on the arm of the couch, or in the kitchen window. As long as we leave her alone she is very happy and content. 

Also, I do not agree that all no kill shelters are bad. The people who work at thease shelters want to help animals. You could have done an online search very easily and found a no kill shelter in your area. You did not do this because you did not want to take the time, and this I find to be makeing excuses.


----------



## catman (Oct 12, 2002)

thread locked.


----------

