# My heart is shattered



## ofallxtoxpieceso

A week ago my bf finally gave me the ok on taking in some foster kittens. I drove down to a shelter about 40 min away. We have several shelters closer but I chose this particular shelter bc they are located in a major city and is always completely overwhelmed with strays and surrenders. They had received 14 litters of bottle feeders that day. I settled on a litter of 3 two weekers when I spotted a slightly larger kitten alone in one of the crates. He was about 3 weeks old and was absolutely beautiful. He had long fluffy white fur with grey patches and a fast grey tail. I fell in love instantly and he ended up coming home with me as well. He was a problem right from the start. He wouldn't take the bottle at all so I had to feed with a syringe. He hadn't pooped since I brought him home so on wednesday I took him to the clinic at the shelter. The vet tech said she could feel hard stools and just water down his formula and try some wet food. Over the next day he was straining a lot and was starting to get a tiny bit of blood coming out of his rectum. I took him back to the clinic first thing friday morning. They gave him subq fluids and spent 2 hours giving enemas. He finally went but afterwards he was very lethargic. They told me it was alot of strain on his little body and he was just exhausted. He got up and moved around a little throughout the night and this morning so I thought he was starting to feel better. Sadly around noon I noticed he was looking really worn out and his breathing was very heavy. I picked him up and cuddled him in my lap where he shuddered once and just stopped. I quickly layed him down on the bed and he didn't appear to be breathing. I spent the next several minutes blowing into his mouth and giving tiny compressions, but he was gone. I felt like my heart broke into millions of tiny pieces. I love all of the kittens but he snagged a very special place in my heart. He went through a few names, but I finally settled on Gizmo bc my bf kept saying the kitten looked like the gremlin lol. I was really leaning towards adopting him and now I feel so empty.


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## 10cats2dogs

I am so very, very sorry...
You were still his angel here, because he didn't die alone.
Bless you for caring and taking him home.
Sigh, how quickly they can grab our hearts..
HUGS...♡♡


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## katrina89

That's horrible I am so sorry.


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## Marcia

I'm so sorry this happened, but it was never meant to be. There is just so much that can go wrong with these tiny creatures. You did good to show him love and compassion in his final days.


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## ofallxtoxpieceso

Thanks everyone. My only condolence is that the other three babies I am fostering seem to be thriving. When I first brought them home last week the little stinkers could squeeze through the bars of the dog crate they were going to sleep in. I haven't tried it but they certainly don't look like they could squeeze their chubby little bellies through anymore lol. 
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## TinyPaws

Sad to hear about Gizmo but it is so nice to know that precious little baby left this world having been loved so much by someone and didn't die alone.
Hope those other three little guys keep doing well!


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## marie5890

ofall...
Im so so sorry. Clearly you cared. Gizmo knew how he was loved. And like tinypaws said, he wasnt alone when he moved on...

God bless your heart, your kindness for this small soul...


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## atm53

How sad. Bless you for being there for that little baby.


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## Jetlaya67

Sorry about your little Gizmo. I a glad he had you by your side when he died. The little guy knew love from you. Thank you for being so kind to him.


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## ofallxtoxpieceso

Thanks everyone. I can't even describe the connection I felt with that little guy. He had a very hard time from the day I brought him home and I'm thankful that he didn't die alone on the streets and that he's not suffering. The other 3 kittens are still doing well (fingers crossed). They eat like little piglets and are starting to play with each other. 

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## April0684

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. :sad:


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## cat owner again

I am so sorry for you and what a big heart you have. Thank goodness Gizmo didn't die alone and you did everything you could to save him - everything!


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## marie5890

ofallxtoxpieceso said:


> Thanks everyone. I can't even describe the connection I felt with that little guy. He had a very hard time from the day I brought him home and I'm thankful that he didn't die alone on the streets and that he's not suffering. The other 3 kittens are still doing well (fingers crossed). They eat like little piglets and are starting to play with each other.
> 
> Sent from Petguide.com Free App


That is a lot, ofall, he didnt die on the streets. He was in a safe, caring, and loving place, when he did need to go.....

That is a gift all living creatures deserve, when it's time to move on...

Wishing the best for the other 3....


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## ofallxtoxpieceso

Thanks again for all the kind words. Lynx, Lyra, and Orion are all still going strong. They're all due for a second intranasal vaccine on Saturday so they'll be weighed and checked over to ease my mind a bit.

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## Neo.the.great

Gizmo was loved and cuddled and that makes a lot of difference, you gave him all that you could so be at peace and know you made a difference. Hugs.


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