# My Husband is so mad at my cat...



## Olivers-Slave (Jul 25, 2010)

We are going to be moving so we decided to take out the unessential clothes out and pack them up early....

Here is where the anger begins...oliver tore up his suit, he ripped into the plastic bag and just tore into it....

He is so beyond livid at oliver, practically serious about getting rid of him. I told him the suit has been there forever and it was probably when oliver was a bit younger (who knows) but yeah. Ive had to agree, no cats in the bedroom. and I don't bring up the topic of cats or expect him to like them anymore....

*sighs* I hope this blows over....


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## Husky42 (Sep 28, 2008)

All i would say to him is.. whaaa, he's a man, the cat is a cat. Get over it, deal with it go have a beer.

The next time oliver looks at him with those devilishly handsome eyes, your hubby will hopefully forget


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## Sinatra-Butters (Aug 9, 2010)

My boyfriend gets mad when the kitties wreck something of his....then they cuddle him and he is won over again. I hope your husband calms down soon Catherine *hugs*.


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## MinkaMuffin (Apr 1, 2011)

*SIGH* Men....
My guy is the same way.. "If Your animals ever wrecked my BLAHBLAHWHATEVER, out they would go!" And my dad is that way too...

Unfortunately I don't know how to solve the problem... =/


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## Jan Rebecca (Oct 14, 2010)

Eeek - hope he forgives kitty cat soon.


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## Sinatra-Butters (Aug 9, 2010)

MinkaMuffin said:


> *SIGH* Men....
> My guy is the same way.. "If Your animals ever wrecked my BLAHBLAHWHATEVER, out they would go!" /


My boyfriend said something along those lines when we got Sinatra. It lasted all of a month. Now he just gets mad and walks away until they cuddle him again.


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## doodlebug (May 13, 2006)

Yup...the suit is so old it must be out of style anyway, Oliver was just trying to protect him from the fashion police. And making sure he doesn't look like a dork in an out of style suit :wink:


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

MinkaMuffin said:


> *SIGH* Men....
> My guy is the same way.. "If Your animals ever wrecked my BLAHBLAHWHATEVER, out they would go!" And my dad is that way too...
> Unfortunately I don't know how to solve the problem... =/


You tell them: 
*If you *like* your BLAHBLAHWHATEVER, then keep your BLAHBLAHWHATEVER picked up and put away (where it is supposed to be) so the cat can't reach it.* :cool


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## MinkaMuffin (Apr 1, 2011)

Heidi n Q said:


> You tell them:
> *If you *like* your BLAHBLAHWHATEVER, then keep your BLAHBLAHWHATEVER picked up and put away (where it is supposed to be) so the cat can't reach it.* :cool


But what if the cat finds it and gets to it? Or knocks something over? Or gets at something that Can't be put away.
(it was a nice thought though xD)


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

In our house:
If is OUR fault if we leave ANYTHING out that is damaged by a cat. PERIOD. 

*Cats can only be cats. *
*It is up to US to control the environment (our homes) we have placed them into and adjust ourselves ... because being human with the ability (if we choose to utilize that skill) to reason ... that is OUR responsibility, NOT the cat's.*

Something of yours got ruined because you _... left it out ... near something that could be knocked over ... the cat got onto/into/scratched-up blahblahwhatever ... you brought something into the home you *knew* you couldn't isolate from the cats ..._ too bad, so sad, sucks to be you.

You make your home and belongings safe for/from the cat or you suffer the consequences without punishing the cat for being the cat it is.


I *know* that is a hard-lined approach to take, but dangit! The cats can't help who they are and where we place them. This is why I place the responsibility squarely where it needs to be: on OUR shoulders. NOT the cats' shoulders.


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## Husky42 (Sep 28, 2008)

Heidi n Q said:


> In our house:
> If is OUR fault if we leave ANYTHING out that is damaged by a cat. PERIOD.
> 
> *Cats can only be cats. *
> ...


Exactly.

An example of a cat being a cat, I just moved recently and did not put jack in a carrier as he is much more relaxed just in the front seat or back, he travels really well.

Anyways, he had to go poo, i had his liter box packed in the back of the car on top of everything in trash bags, he some how managed to find it and I'm on I5 doing 70 Mph in Seattle traffic and my cat starts to go poo.. 

He was just being a cat and I only have myself to blame for feeding him so much before we left and not stopping to give him a break. using his box outside. My fault, not his for the smell i had to endure the rest of the way to my new home.


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## Abbie (Jan 13, 2011)

Oh dear! I hope he comes round. 

Evie has taken to making a den in one of our built in wardrobes, right under my clothes. She kneads on particular dress of mine. I told my OH to just leave her, I don't like that dress anyway. He replies "God, well I don't agree. You're just throwing away money". I got it out and showed there was no damage, but he was still a right grump.


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## Huge2 (Jan 28, 2008)

Ah tell him to man up.


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## Sinatra-Butters (Aug 9, 2010)

Maybe you gals should date Hugh, he won't get mad if kitty claws the couch!

Husky, LOL that image in my mind was amazing - thank you!


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## Jiskefet (Apr 8, 2011)

I have told hubby straight from the start I wanted cats.
He didn't want cats in an apartment, a cat should be able to be a cat, and go outside when he wants to.
I grudgingly agreed, because we both work, and a cat would get lonely, and 2 cats in our tniy flat would be a bit cramped. But when we got this house, I wanted a cat.
And if there is ever any question about him not wanting to live with the cats any more, his suitcases will be at the front door. All packed and ready to go.

I love hubby, but the cats are my children, he agreed to their presence in our lives, and if he wants out of that commitment, he is out of the house. 

I did 'get rid' of a cat once, for his own good (Klaatu stole steaks from the neighbours and moved in with at least 10 families, so some people were quite willing to do him harm), but I still keep track of him. He has had 2 new homes since, and is now with a foster family. We are trying to get him to a farm with day care facilities for disabled people. Klaatu loves people, and they would love him to bits. even if he stole the cheese from their bread (which he most definitely will...).
And my hubby knew better than to say he had to go, he left me to come to that decision all by myself, he knew I had to be ready for it, to consider every other option, first.

Yes, in the end, Klaatu had to go, someone would have hurt him or poisoned him, if he had stayed. There was no keeping him indoors, and no keeping him out of other people's homes. He is such a free spirit.


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## Momto3boys (Nov 10, 2009)

My hubby is also like that but not with the cats and dogs.

Except he wasn`t too happy this morning when he woke up (I work nights) and realized my Boxer had peed on the floor and my Schnauzer had peed on the floor TWICE...they`re trained and they know better so I`m not sure what upset them last night. He just mumbles as he`s cleaning it up "stupid freakin dogs"

Hubby LOVES the cats but he HATES HATES HATES my rabbits. And if they chew something then he threatens to get rid of them.


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## Salemcat2 (Dec 28, 2010)

I hope he gets over it. My husband doesn't have much patience with Dagny either. He fusses about one thing or another he's done sometimes, but I just tell him he needs to "understand Dagny's catness." They can't help their nature. They need to explore, to play with some things til they tear up and so on. They're just being what they are....NOT being mean. I know that Dagny will tear up clothes if he's allowed to get into our closet unsupervised, so I keep the closet door shut. I know he will play in the commode if given a chance, so I keep the lid down. And so on. But there are some things you just can't help, so you have to do the best you can. Hopefully the menfolk will understand that in time.  I know how you feel.


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## Xanti (Nov 4, 2008)

Agreed Heidi.

I have an open staircase in my house with wooden banisters. When I moved in, I had the banisters stained before I realized Monty saw them as trees.

They are now scratched to bits with the stain half removed...I can't keep him away from them, so gonna have to live with it...at least HE is enjoying them


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## librarychick (May 25, 2008)

Heidi n Q said:


> In our house:
> If is OUR fault if we leave ANYTHING out that is damaged by a cat. PERIOD.
> 
> *Cats can only be cats. *
> ...


Heidi posts like that make me wish this forum had a 'like' button!

I agree entirely, I keep trying to explain this to my BF. His opinion is that they are cats, and yes they will break some things, but he thinks that now that our boys are 2 they should be adults and always think about their actions before they do it. They should 'know better'. How do you explain to someone that cat's don't think the same way we do!

Admittedly their are good sides to this too. He keeps me realistic (as in "No! We cannot have 30 cats!" lol), and he helps me with training our cats to behave well. Unfortunately we also have a roommate who is NOT helpful with kitty training and that does set us back regularly.

The biggest thing about your post that I agree with is that people don't see how their own actions caused the probelm. The attitude of "Well, I'm the human so the cat should obviously respect my things more and compensate for my behavior"...that's when I ask if they'd do the same for a baby.
"The cat should know better than to knock over my hot coffee! Of course it's hot!"
"Why didn't you either put your coffee somewhere safer, or make sure the cat wasn't touching it?"
"They should know better!"
"Would you say the same about a baby?"

Puts it in a bit more perspective.


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## Olivers-Slave (Jul 25, 2010)

doodlebug said:


> Yup...the suit is so old it must be out of style anyway, Oliver was just trying to protect him from the fashion police. And making sure he doesn't look like a dork in an out of style suit :wink:


lmao, in a few months, when hes less angry about it. I'm using that line


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## Olivers-Slave (Jul 25, 2010)

Heidi n Q said:


> In our house:
> If is OUR fault if we leave ANYTHING out that is damaged by a cat. PERIOD.
> 
> *Cats can only be cats. *
> ...


lol, it was in the closet, which we keep closed, in a sealed suit bag, against the far wall, hidden in the shadows....it couldnt get much more hidden then that, oliver prys open the doors, opens the draws
climbs in. had to tear through the bag, to tear up the suit...he had something out for it. it had to have been made of catnip or something, he didnt ruin anything else in the closet...just the suit


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## Vivid Dawn (May 31, 2010)

This is prezactly why I don't have a man. Or heck, a room-mate. Living alone gives me and my cats so much freedom in how we do things!

When I was married (and this is partly the reason I'm not anymore), he scolded Paizly (shouting at her and clapping his hands right in her face when he cornered her) for throwing up on the floor. ...really? Seriously? Again, the "she should know better" about going to the litter box to do it. I even told him "You don't always make it to the bathroom when you're sick, do you?" a'course that wasn't the point... the point is that Paizly didn't even TRY to go to the litter box.
On the other hand, HIS cat could do no wrong. She has COMPLETELY ripped up the carpet by 3 different doors, because she was trying to get into the other room (where he was). Instead of taking a whole five seconds to get up and open the door, he just let her scratch and tear and rip. But it's okay, because "she's just a cat" 
SIGH


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## Meezer_lover (Apr 19, 2011)

I completely sympathize with this.....
My boyfriend (Dave) is a perfectionist, stubborn, and thinks everything needs to be perfect all the time. Plus, our last cat was perfect in pretty much every way.

So when we got our new kitten, you can imagine what happened when he had a pee accident on the brand new (literally brand new) carpet. He basically told me that we were had to bring him back to the breeder. A couple of days later, he had another pee accident. Mind you, both times were really our own fault.

I was so stressed and sick thinking about what was going to happen. Luckily, no more accidents have happened since. 

So best of luck to you!


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## MinkaMuffin (Apr 1, 2011)

Vivid Dawn said:


> This is prezactly why I don't have a man. Or heck, a room-mate. Living alone gives me and my cats so much freedom in how we do things!
> 
> When I was married (and this is partly the reason I'm not anymore), he scolded Paizly (shouting at her and clapping his hands right in her face when he cornered her) for throwing up on the floor. ...really? Seriously? Again, the "she should know better" about going to the litter box to do it. I even told him "You don't always make it to the bathroom when you're sick, do you?" a'course that wasn't the point... the point is that Paizly didn't even TRY to go to the litter box.
> On the other hand, HIS cat could do no wrong. She has COMPLETELY ripped up the carpet by 3 different doors, because she was trying to get into the other room (where he was). Instead of taking a whole five seconds to get up and open the door, he just let her scratch and tear and rip. But it's okay, because "she's just a cat"
> SIGH


Ughhh. Even I'M glad you left him.

While I agree that cats don't know any better in most instances, I think they can learn that a certain behavior is wrong, so when you catch them, they know they are in trouble.

On a random related note, I've found that giving a sharp clap while saying No! is more effective than no by itself.


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## Vivid Dawn (May 31, 2010)

I agree that a scold can be useful... if you clap and say "No" from where you already were. But to chase a cat (who is afraid of you already anyway!) into a corner, and _roar_ the word into her face and clap your hands mere centimeters from her nose... that's totally different and UNacceptable.
I will give him credit for never hitting her. Though he gave plenty of mental abuse to make up for it


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## MowMow (Nov 6, 2010)

I'm a firm believer in the theory of how a guy treats animals and his mom.

If a man treats (or talks about) his mom with love and respect (not to be confused with creepy obsession) he's going to treat his g/f wife with love and respect.

If a man treats animals with affection, respect and patience he's going to treat his children as well. Also imo, kids raised this way will learn the same behavior.


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## Heidi n Q (Nov 22, 2006)

librarychick: Heidi posts like that make me wish this forum had a 'like' button!
----
Awwwww! 

librarychick: ... people don't see how their own actions caused the problem. The attitude of "Well, I'm the human so the cat should obviously respect my things more and compensate for my behavior"...that's when I ask ... *"Would you say the same about a baby?"*
*Puts it in a bit more perspective.*
----
PERFECT! What a great way to explain the lack of reasoning and ability to understand our wishes by comparing pets to babies. Over time, if a person has cultivated a close relationship with their pets they *can* communicate and understand each other, but beyond that, well, it's *beyond* their comprehension. 
They may develop great relationships with a person or persons, but they would never equate their behavior with their favorite persons to be expected with ALL people in general.


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## faithless (Dec 4, 2009)

Heidi n Q said:


> In our house:
> If is OUR fault if we leave ANYTHING out that is damaged by a cat. PERIOD.
> 
> *Cats can only be cats. *
> ...


Quoted for truth


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## faithless (Dec 4, 2009)

> *"Would you say the same about a baby?"*
> *Puts it in a bit more perspective.*


I often think that cats are like small kids but with street smarts. I even think theyre pretty similar to mildly autistic human kids.


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## Tiikiri (Feb 18, 2011)

Tiikiri peed all over the guest bedroom. My husband didn't get angry... we just peeled back the carpet and replaced the pad and cleaned.
Our Doberman, Zenyatta, at $40 off of the coffee table and crushed his cell phone.
The solution? Don't leave money in reach and get a new cell phone. 
Animals are animals... they do kitty and doggie things. It is up to us to control their environment.


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