# HElp i am really scared



## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

i adopted a siamese today and everything was perfect she was doing really with me did not hiss or growl i put her in my own room

my stupid friend wanted to see the new cat and my current cat darted in the room soon as my current cat saw the siamese she went after it 

the siamese was furious and defending itself i had to come in an throw a pillow beetwen them it would of been ugly 

i dont know what to do now the siamese growls at me and was smacking her lips at me i wont dare go near her im so sad maybe i lost her trust and anytime i go in to see the samese my cat waits at the door and crys 

im scared 1 tortie and one siamese both cats have an attitude and a dominant nature i wonder if this is imposssible to work out?


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

pl;ease tell me what to do someone??? I am istting in her room on the computer i did not go close to her i dont wanna get bitten


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## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

She needs time to settle down. This is a huge set back since you obviously didn't want to introduce the two like that but that doesn't mean to give up hope. The Siamese needs time alone right now. Yes, she probably feels betrayed by everyone right now so just give her room to calm down.

Introductions can take a long time. Today's the first day. Don't give up! You are doing the right thing by keeping them separated...it was just unfortunate that your friend opened the door. Your new one just needs time to calm down now. Don't try to force anything yet. 

Welcome to the forum by the way!


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

she peed her self is this normal? i have roomates moving in tonight with 2 dogs and another cat not sure what is going to happen my house cat seems happy as ever though and confident


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## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

No, this is not normal....she's scared as can be. Whatever you do, do NOT open that door and risk these new roommates animals to get to her. I'm surprised you decided to bring a new cat into this environment? All these new animals at once...


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

i didnt have a choice it was homeless dumped and neglected i really want this to work she has her own room only thing is if tommkorrow i will be able to move her to another room i was thinking? 

i have a 4 bedroom house my roomates cat will stay in her room my cat gets free range of the house and the dogs get free range also 

my cat is good with dogs and not scared of them shes not scared of cats either she just has this dominance complex she thinks shes a cougar or something

do u think this plan will work? my frien ds cat is a rescue and its pregnant as well


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## Heather102180 (Nov 19, 2003)

So did you pick the Siamese up off the street? You said "adopted" so I figure you got her from the Humane Society.

I'm not sure how easy it'll be for you to move her to a new room tomorrow. She is terrified right now. She needs to get acclimated to one room only and not be moved around.


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

well i knew the previous owneers they basically said they are leaving had a forclosure and if i want i can tve ake the cat or they will just leave it maybe i can find it a better its just kitten seasons the rescues r full and this cat isnt exactly super friendly u gota work with her to get her trust ive seen the type before i just sit back let her come to me


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## Dave_ph (Jul 7, 2009)

She's terrified right now, new environment and attacked by a strange cat. You need to give her time to calm down and feel safe. 

Siamese are a little high strung. I introduced a Siamese to a Ragdool with a dominat personality and it took about a month for them to settle down. Now they sleep together and I'm never worried that anyone will get more than their feelings hurt. 

Just give it time.


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

ok since the fight i did not go near the siamese and if i go in her room i keep about 10 feet away she didnt care when i was on my computer in her room she just sat down and went to sleep is it ok to stay in her romo and mess around on my computer? She doesnt care as long a s i dont go near her if i sit in her room away form her she cloes her eyes and sleeps sometimes she will open them and stare at me but she seems comfortable if i keep my distance


i guess i feel really bad for the cat no one seemed to have ever loved her i will try to find her a good permnant home i think when i first brought in my house and itwas just me and her she loved me she would pur and rub uip agaisnt me then my cat ran in and ruined everything

my current house cat seems happier then ever running around the house playing andp urring like shes acting as though shes still the only cat in the house im happy that shes not upset at least 

if its bad for me to sit in this room on my computer far away from the cat i will leave

my cat is a typical tortie and this is a typical siamese both aree probably dominant cats i wont let them see each other for at least a week hopefully 

GOOD thing is all 3 of these cats seem to be good with dogs and have a lot of experience living with dogs thank god


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## faithless (Dec 4, 2009)

> ok since the fight i did not go near the siamese and if i go in her room i keep about 10 feet away she didnt care when i was on my computer in her room she just sat down and went to sleep is it ok to stay in her romo and mess around on my computer? She doesnt care as long a s i dont go near her if i sit in her room away form her she cloes her eyes and sleeps sometimes she will open them and stare at me but she seems comfortable if i keep my distance


Yes, this is good. First of all, YOU need to calm down and let this happen slower and at her pace than you would prefer. Shes reacting very logically from the information she has and it should be quite easy to just read her like you would a person almost. She hardly knows you - she wants to trust you, but in the world she lives in, you have to prove your trustworthiness more than has been done so far. Just let her slowly get back to being relaxed and closer to you in her own time, but dont allow more of those frights. Treats are of course a good way of showing friendship. Everything about my kitty has taught me to do everything incrementally in small steps with cats. Teaching them to eat new food, new spaces, new rules, etc, all of it works much better in small steps with lots of praise.


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

she has not eaten or moved since yesterday i guess thats to be expected i didnt go near her today but she still hissed at me seems a bit calmer tho like she will lay down and sleep while im in the room


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

went into her room today she has not eaten or used the litter box still same hissing reaction when she sees me i took her food and put it in front of her box because i was scared she would not eat anyways she lashed out at me when i did that but now her food is at least in front of box i just dont want her to starv herself she has her own room bran new litter box food water window toys anything she wants id even buy her a new scrach post but i dont think she would even use it she has her own bed thats in the box though

how long do u think before i can pet her again?


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

Don't force anything. She will let you know wen she is ready to give you a chance at trust again. :wink: 

Hint: Don't put he food too close to the litter box. A bowl of food too close to the litter box will seem "dirty" to her.


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

ok i opened her door second time today she was sitting on the window ledge big shocker thats the first time ive seen her move since the fight i did not step in the room but she still hissed at me from the window i opened a can of sardines and just put it on the floor close to the door (i dont want to step in her room if i dont have to)


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## ChelleBelle (Sep 14, 2009)

She's scared, poor dear. Sadly, she is probably associating the fight between her and the other cat with you. Give her time to calm down and become use to the idea of her new home. As one of our forum members said, "She must look at you as the bringer of all good things." 

I'd see if maybe she might like treats and give her a couple thrown at a safe distance, or warm up some yummy cat food in the microwave for her. Then, possibly, ignore her while you are in the room and just BE there, so she can learn that you won't force any attention or threats on her. When ever I get a new cat I usually let them stay in my room for a week with me, just to become use to my smell and voice. The first couple days I'll ignore them, unless they WANT attention, and just spend time in the room. Giving a couple treats and maybe throwing a toy around. Luckily, all three cats I have owned in my life came around to liking me with in a week's time if not before. 

Hope the ideas help!


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## Dave_ph (Jul 7, 2009)

Go into the room. Work on the computer or whatever but don't show any interest in her. If you focus on her she'll feel threatened. She'll get used to you and learn you're not at threat if you're there but don't keep appraoching her. Predators show interest in their prey. Don't show interest.

I just had to force feed and pill my Siamese after an illness and after a while she started running when she saw me. A few days after the pilling stopped she started coming to me but was still nervous when I walked toward her for over a week.


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

Better to give her a bowl of good quality canned cat food than human sardines.
Human tuna lacks some essential nutrients for a kitty. I guess sardines are the same. They're okay for one or two feedings, but not for long term use.
Try to relax around her, and keep being her Bringer Of Good Things. :wink: 
rcat


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

i went to pet smart bought the spray the plug in and the collar i plugged it in nalas room and sprayed a bit hope this helps


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## kwarendorf (Oct 12, 2009)

Just remeber that this will take time. As Dave said, basically ignore her but be in the room. Franny spent her first week with me and Franklin under a couch. I ignored her. I dodn;t try and coax her out. I didn;t peek under the couch. I ignored her. Slowly but surely she emerged and now she's up on the bed before I am, waiting to curl up under my arm. Be patient


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

The others have all given sound advice. I agree. If she's not bolting or hissing, it's actually good that you're in the room. She needs to be able to smell you and see your presence to get used to you. And yes, ignore her and let her be while you're in there. She'll let you know when she's comfortable with the relationship going to the next level. AND patience IS the key. As I always say, good things come to those who wait.


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

well today for the first time she ate in front of me then she walked up to me while i was on the computer and hissed and growled then walked away it was really scary is this normal? she wont all out attack me will she? I am never going to pet her or try to grab her but she doesnt seem scared of me


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

I doubt she will full-on attack you.

Believe it or not, this is progress. She feels confident enough to tell you she's p----- off at you for turning her world upside down.
She doesn't feel you are a predator out to get her. 

For now, though, don't make eye contact with her. Look down at the floor, at a point about a third of the distance to her from your feet.

Always remember, you are her Bringer Of Good Things. Keep that in your mind, and she'll be purring in your lap before you knoow it. :wink: 

There is a little bit of mental discipline involved in dealing with a cat like this. Don't be scared of her. Keep thinking of her as the lovable, smart kitty she will be. She will pick on on your "vibes".


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

ok well shes a lot diff today she keeps trying to run to the door and she will eat with her back facing towards me she will still growl and hiss tho but not as aggressive i know this sounds bad but i carry a broom just to softly/gently nudge her a bit when i walk in the room and she will back off a couple of feet and gvie me space so i can come in the room


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

The broom might not be such a great trust builder. I'm guessing this will keep her thinking of you in "predator" terms., when your goal is for her to see you as a friend  

Instead, use the 'leg block' maneuver as you open the door. Slide your foot and leg into the opening as you open the door, and slide in, keeping the door against your body as you do, using the cross section of your body to block the opening as you enter.

She is a sweet Siamese, not a leopard who is going to bite your face off. :lol: 
It sounds as though you two are going to both have to learn to trust each other 

Here is a mantra for you: 
_*"This kitty is my Friend, and I am her Bringer Of Good Things!"*_
:cat


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

well shes sitting about five feet away from me she will turn her back to me a lot and she came up and sniffed my leg and did not hiss i wonder when its ok to pet her she often will sit with her back facing me a lot which i think means shes got no fear of me at all anymore?

i agree i am a bit afraid of her lol i guess i never saw a cat show so much fury before wait till i take pictures she really does look like a siamese cougar or wild cat cross she has that wild cat face


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

Leaving her back to you, and not hissing are MAJOR Progress!! Woo-Hoooo! :jump
Keep up the Great Work!
How fast her attitude is changing says a lot of good things about her, too. A cat who adapts so quickly is very, very smart.
Are you ready to be owned by a genius kitty, Cateyes? :wink:


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

shes only like this with me though if any of my roomates come in her room she will spit at them and lunge but if its me she changes i have this toy feather string that my other catp lays with if nala smells it she will growl snarl and hiss so i am starting to think she knows the smell of my other cat


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

ok i am willing to take her on but i am just in need of experienced support i have never in my life interacted with or had a cat like this so u can understand why i constantly am posting here none of my previous cats have ever even hissed at me and ive had about 7 cats during my life time so when she hissses every second or let alone spits its a big shocker

i have never seen a cat spit at a human before spitting is something ive seen cats do to dogs 


i play music and play on the computer while shes in the room she seems totally unphased its just if she sniffs something that my cat has she was kicking her soccer ball a bit just now also i also bought pet greens live cat nip for her its a plant i put in her room


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

Do the live 'nip on a trial basis for now, till you see how she reacts to it. Some kitties become aggressive under the influence of catnip, and I think it's still a bit early in your telationship with this cat to test your trust if she does become aggressive


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

ok maybe ill wait a while b4 i pet her but how long is it fair to let her live in this small bedroom? i mean i know its better then a spca cage but still when should i start letting her walk around the house?


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## ChelleBelle (Sep 14, 2009)

Is she showing interest in leaving the room yet? I kind of go by what the cat is telling me, if they hide and run at any loud noises, obviously they are not ready for the big bad world of a whole house. It might be sensory overload with her right now to let her out so soon. I think once she is comfortable with the idea of you and this room, then would be a good time. That could be anywhere from a day or a couple weeks, depends on her. I'm sure you would know though, but do be sure to lock up all other animals when she explores at first so she starts seeing the new house as safe.

'Chelle


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

shed leave the room if i left her door open but she doesnt meow at the door


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

ok today she walked up to me purred and rubbed me legs i pet her and she hissed anytime i go in the room she comes running to the door i dont carry a silly broom but she started doing something else she swats my feet when i walk in the room lol its not hard its really gentle and she growls when she does it i dont think shes using her nails od u know what this means?


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## chute039 (May 2, 2010)

That might be her way of trying to play .. when I play with my cat and he's purring and goofing around playing with string or whatever, if I tease him he will swat at my hands, but he does it to play.. he has long claws but never pushes them out when playing, not even slightly.. just likes the smack itself I guess lol but it makes it easier to play with him.. I'd say she's smart and even if she is still feeling a bit defensive, she's smart enough to know that you aren't gonna try and hurt her so she's trying not to hurt you it seems like.. which after reading the previous pages on this thread would be alot of progress!

Good luck with everything, I hope it all works out, Siamese cats are beautiful!!


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## faithless (Dec 4, 2009)

Its all going well. You had a bit of a bad start, but now shes coming around. If you want to stroke her before she's made the first move, its always polite to let her check your hand out and sniff it first rather than this big hand suddenly coming at her, for what reason she has no idea. Her behavior when sniffing, curious or frightened, will clearly tell you whether shes interested in being petted or not. Move slowly and gently around her, speak in a friendly calm tone.

It sounds silly, but I often think the comparison to aliens abducting a human actually seems similar. They're acting completely logically, just the way we would too. If aliens suddenly plucked me up and put me in a peculiar place on their spaceship, even though they were benign and wanted to be kind, how would I understand that at first? When they speak it sounds like they're talking under water. If there was something to hide under, thats the first place I'd go. I'd stay there frightened, watching the aliens every move, until after days of them showing they're not hostile, I might carefully emerge and tentatively test the food they'd left me and so on from there.


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

That's a really good analogy, faithless.
I had thought of it like abducting a primitive tribsesman, who had never seen a modern, "civilized" person before, and taking them to a big city trying to befriend them.

Good tip about letting her siiff the hand first. I forgot to mention that.
And talk to her, if you don't already, cateyes. You'll be surprised at how fast and how much shel'll learn.
rcat


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## Alpaca (Dec 21, 2009)

Seems like things are progessing slowly but surely. Just continue to be slow and patient. She just needs time to adapt. Think about it. It's a new human, new environment, new food, new cats, new everything! She needs time to adjust and trust. It's only natural. Just be with her a lot, talk to her etc. Don't try to touch her unless she thinks it's okay. Like someone else said, let her sniff you. Of course, slow movements too with that. Know when to back off if it's too much for her. Since she's so defensive and cautious, you can be sure she's a smart kitty because she's learned from previous experiences. When you get her to trust you, it'll be so much fun!


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

ok i just want to say that today i went to feed her and she was rubbing up on me like crazy non stop really hard rubs also and kept doing it


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

hes acting like a total new cat today i have been in her room on the computer she will start purring walk up to me and just start rubbing non stop and sometimes she will walk on top of me i still am not petting her though


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## chute039 (May 2, 2010)

cateyes1981 said:


> hes acting like a total new cat today i have been in her room on the computer she will start purring walk up to me and just start rubbing non stop and sometimes she will walk on top of me i still am not petting her though


That's excellent progress! If she jumps up on you that may be permission to pet her.. just ease your hand very slowly to her, maybe let her sniff it first, and if she tries to rub your hand with her head, then that's a pretty good sign she's ready for you to pet her


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

she started something really strange she will rub up on me like crazy abnoral amounts when i go to feed her in the morning or when i go in the room but after that while im trying to walk and shes rubbing up on me she will hiss and grab my feet im wearing shoes so not sure if its hard or not i dont think shes doing it hard but never know 


anyone know what this is and how to curb it? I really want to keep things tame between us and make sure everything is good i need support and guidence bad through this to make it work i contacted siamese rescue and they told me its something that commonly happens and that a cat like this is not going to find a home anytime soon if ever


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## ChelleBelle (Sep 14, 2009)

Another forum member will probably chime in with their opinion, but it sounds like she is wanting to love on you some more and is stopping you from walking away. Both of my cats are different in showing their love. Brandy is very dominating in "holding" you. If I am petting her and stop, she will butt my hand with her head, if I don't start immediately she will grab my hand with both her paws and butt her head against my hand. It's really crazy and at first freaked me out, because she had a bad history of biting me almost a year ago (we worked through that and she has basically stopped it, but still scary). I think she is just showing you she is really enjoying you. 

As far as the hissing goes... some cats just hiss and growl. Neither one of my cats hiss really or growl. They go from normal to fighting angry in 5 secs, I WISH we had a warning. LOL! She's coming a long great, I'm glad it's turning out okay.

'Chelle


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

hey today we opend up her room door and put a screen in front of it so she can see us walk by and interact and this way shes not alone at all so far the other cat will stand in front of her screen no attack or anything she will come up to the screen when shes had enough she goes back to the end of the room and sleeps she did not even react hardly i think she feels safe with the screen there


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

Yep, it sounds like you're stuck with her. :lol:


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## faithless (Dec 4, 2009)

This is all gonna turn out fine.


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

You have done really well in gaining this kitty's trust, and in learning to trust her, Cateyes. :thumb :thumb

I don't claim to be a cat behavior expert, but I'll offer a considered opinion. 
Essentially, she doesn't want you to leave.
Her world was turned upside down. Everything she knew is gone, and now she has someone who seems trustworthy in this new, unfamiliar place. She wants to keep you near. She's saying, "Don't go!".

Heidi's idea sounds like a good one. Get her to be the leader. This will build her trust and confidence further.


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

anyone know when we can interact at them again everything seems fine until nala the new cat will hiss and swat at me or one of my roomates when we go to feed her or get close then my other cat pumpkin gets furious and will charge the screen to nalas room its as though shes taking nalas swipes and hisses at us personal or something? She just cant stand when nala hisses at one of us i dont know why but other then that when the 2 cats are alone looking through the screen door they are ok. 


Nala has not reacted much to the dogs and the dogs were a bit curious but ignore her also. 


I still dont really pet her and will not pick her up cause i think she might just have sensative skin or something


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

I think you can pet her at this point. You two have been aquainted long enough.  
Just let her sniff your hand first.

To be honest, I'n surprised you haven't been petting Nala. :wink:

It's sweet your other kitties are being so protective. Just reassure them that Nala means no harm.
rcat


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## Sleepwalk (Feb 4, 2010)

It's not exactly the same situation, but I know that when I was in the long process of getting the local young stray to trust me, it took a good month to get him to the stage where he'd allow me to pet him-- But once he did, it was a few days before he crawled in my lap, and just a couple of weeks before he'd come into my apartment and let me close the door. Once they get familiar with your touch, and learn how nice it is to cuddle up with a human that loves them, it seemed to really affirm the trust. 

It'd just sit opposite her, not standing or anything imposing. For Meow, I just extended my hand towards him slowly and smoothly, until it was about a foot away from him, then turned it palm up, so it wasn't some big scary thing coming down from above his head. He stared at it for a minute or two, then sniffed at it. Once he'd sniffed and inspected my hand, I slowly reached out with the other hand and dropped a treat beside it. He brought his head down to take the treat, and I really lightly started stroking his back with the sniffed hand. He started purring after a moment, and let me pet him pretty much as much as I wanted for that sitting. 

The next time he came up, I had to do the whole process again, but it had the same result. Eventually, he'd let me pet him while I fed him his dinner, but he still needed to be distracted, or else he'd get scared when I initially raised my hand. But after a few days of petting him while he ate, he crawled into my lap after dinner. And soon after that, he'd come up just to be played with.

But! Before you try to pet a cat while they are eating, you really need to keep in mind how protective the cat is of their food. It worked with Meow because he was completely absorbed by the act of eating, and didn't care about anything else while he ate. But if Nala acts protective of her food (as many cats do), trying to introduce petting while she is eating is a very bad idea. Honestly, if she is comfortable enough to rub on you, you probably don't even need the distraction of food or a treat to raise your hand to pet her, once she gets in a good sniff.


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## cateyes1981 (Sep 11, 2005)

ok thanks i noticed that when im not looking the 2 cats sometimes touch noses through the screen there is no tension anymore only time stuff happens is when nala will hiss at me or a roomate then pumpkin gets mad and charges her 



nala doesnt seem to hiss at pumpkin or swat at pumpkin that much she seems very hesidtent around her shes a lot more aggressive towards us then she is the other cat but she loves me i mean anytime she sees me walking past the screen she comes running

she NEVER Hides ever now shes always in front of the screen on a matress we put in there for now shes always in public like feels no shyness to hide from any of us so i think her fear is all gone


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## gunterkat (Aug 19, 2006)

If they are touching noses through the screen, the introduction process has been successful, and you can let Nala have run of the house any time you're ready. 
I trust you have been petting her. Taking her trust in you to a higher leverl will require that next step in your trust.

Go on, Cateyes, pet Nala! :wink: What have you got to lose? Your fingers? *JUST KIDDING!*


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