# Public perception of men who love cats: US vs UK



## Cat-Daddy (Jun 16, 2012)

I imagine most of the users here are from the US so I'd like your opinion on this.

Back in my uni days I went out with an American girl who shared my love of cats. We still talk from time to time and she says I'm the only guy who's ever been crazy about cats, all her American bfs are either indifferent or only like dogs.

According to her, there exists a somewhat less favorable opinion of men who love and keep cats in the US. They aren't seen as masculine as guys with dogs.

Personally I've never been to the US, so I can't comment, but I have noticed that on several different websites that I frequent, this does seem to be the case with younger guys.

But I'm interested in what our fellow feline-enthusiasts from the US have to say about this. Would you say most younger men (18-35) consider cats to be a 'feminine' pet and would make fun of guys like me who carry over 100 pics of my cats on my phone?

In the UK this is hardly ever the case. Most of my friends infact either have cats as the family pet or love them and plan on adopting one or a pair if their landlords allow it.


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## my5kitties (Sep 13, 2005)

Boy, I really hope BIGMANNYC sees this. He's about as far as what your perception of an American male is like when it comes to cats. In fact, maybe you should PM him and get him to post here.


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## binkyhoo (Feb 16, 2003)

My idea. Be it male or female, If you are more of a controlling type a dog is for you. If you are more of a 50/50% sharing type, then more of a cat person. This is a huge generalization. I like both.


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## binkyhoo (Feb 16, 2003)

To add, As as a young woman in the US, any male who had a cat as a pet was a big plus in my eyes.


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## Saydee (Nov 9, 2010)

I'm a young male Texan (27) who owns one cat and no dogs, and yes, I carry tons of pictures on my phone. I'm a masculine, beer drinking, fast car driving/racing dude, and no one has ever thought twice about me owning a cat. In fact, most women think it's really sweet how connected my cat and I are (check out my post history for a picture of him laying his head on my mouse hand like a pillow while I use the computer). I'm confident and a pretty big guy, so no other guys give me any trouble about owning a cat.

I can't speak to the general perception of men who own cats in the U.S., but if you're a confident individual then people's perception of you individually isn't going to change because you own a cat. Loving animals (any and all animals) is one of the most manly things you can do IMO.


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## Huge2 (Jan 28, 2008)

I think you're probably making a general valid point C-D. But you'll not get anyone on here admitting it. Of course there are exceptions (like the fact not everyone from the UK is like me...) but on the whole, I think you're probably right.


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## Cat-Daddy (Jun 16, 2012)

To be fair, the other websites/forums I've encountered this notion from younger men that cats are for women are almost exclusively sports-based, so perhaps it's due to miss-placed macho non-sense.

Saydee nailed as far as I'm concerned: "Loving animals (any and all animals) is one of the most manly things you can do IMO"


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## Huge2 (Jan 28, 2008)

Well yes... and if you go to car websites, you're unlikely to find men who prefer pressing flowers to polishing their exhaust pipes. So to speak.

I kinda understand why some men don't like cats. Mainly because SOME women who obsess over cats are best avoided (like that teacher in the harry potter books).


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## Cat-Daddy (Jun 16, 2012)

But obsessing over your cats is SO MUCH FUN!!! :-D

I can't help but feel a little bit offended when someone bad-talks cats. I'm very defensive of the species and HATE it when people say things like "cats aren't capable of loving people", to the point that ignorance of that magnitude is seriously enough to put off that person entirely. 

It's also very unfair how people, whether men or women, can obsess over dogs and no one thinks it wrong weird of them, but do or react the same way about your cat and people look at you as if you said you have a pet hammer or screwdriver.

Anyway, it's nice to see that the IMPORTANT sex is appreciative of a man who knows how to love and adore the feline gods that enrichen our lives :-D


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## minikin44 (Aug 25, 2012)

I think young men probably tease other young men for liking cats, but as mentioned before, I think it's a good quality, and I think most other females here would feel the same way. I hate to be harsh but I would not have married my husband if he didn't like cats! hahaha


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## Cat-Daddy (Jun 16, 2012)

minikin44 said:


> hate to be harsh but I would not have married my husband if he didn't like cats! hahaha


Call me crazy but I don' think that's harsh at all. 

I could never see myself with someone long-term if they didn't love cats. Not just like or tolerate, but LOVE cats like I do.

I think loving another creature like we love our cats and dogs speaks volumes about a person, how much they can emotionally connect with others and care for them. 

The people I've met who don't like animals usually turn out to be rather cold and distant. Not my cup of tea.


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## kittywitty (Jun 19, 2010)

I've been fortunate to meet some guys who prefer cats over dogs. However, most of my male friends tend to favor dogs....which is why they are just friends.


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## Cat-Daddy (Jun 16, 2012)

It amazes me that some people who have dogs can have such a negative view of cats. It trully baffles me. I mean I've never had a dog, but I love them. I always take my neighbours dogs out for walks and offer to feed and walk them them if they are away for the day and can't take them with them.

I seriously don't understand how someone can love dogs and not even like cats. It's beyond me.


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## binkyhoo (Feb 16, 2003)

Cat-Daddy said:


> I seriously don't understand how someone can love dogs and not even like cats. It's beyond me.


Me too! I dont know what else to add but Me Too.


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## spotty cats (Sep 23, 2011)

Not in the US or UK, but many men I know across all ages have or had cats

Just as some men have small fluffy dogs 


Sent from my iPhone using PG Free


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## binkyhoo (Feb 16, 2003)

Saydee said:


> Loving animals (any and all animals) is one of the most manly things you can do IMO.


Yes. better said than I.


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## minikin44 (Aug 25, 2012)

I don't get why dog people don't like cats either. They're both wonderful, loving types of animals. I had a dog, and I loved her and miss her, and I'll probably get another someday, but if I had to choose, I personally prefer cats (and I have 4 now... haha) Good thing hubs likes them; the poor guy goes off to SK and I get two more cats :-D ). I think he prefers dogs but like I said, he likes cats too.


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## Fran (Jan 9, 2008)

One factor is that you can take a big dog around in public and look macho - even if you aren't....Dogs put up with that kind of nonsense, they are way more companionable and domesticated! 

Impossible to look macho with a fierce cat - even a bobcat would be too much, let alone something like a lynx or tiger, it is actually a hilarious thought ! They would be the boss one hundred percent! Even your most petite domestic shorthair will not play along with the game. I think the stereotype that dogs are for 'real men' is a form of sour grapes, or an inability to concede that cats don't suffer fools gladly...

 Fran


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## Cat-Daddy (Jun 16, 2012)

Fran said:


> One factor is that you can take a big dog around in public and look macho - even if you aren't....Dogs put up with that kind of nonsense, they are way more companionable and domesticated!
> 
> Impossible to look macho with a fierce cat - even a bobcat would be too much, let alone something like a lynx or tiger, it is actually a hilarious thought ! They would be the boss one hundred percent! Even your most petite domestic shorthair will not play along with the game. I think the stereotype that dogs are for 'real men' is a form of sour grapes, or an inability to concede that cats don't suffer fools gladly...
> 
> Fran


I definitely think the 'macho' factor plays a big part, and anyone who needs a dog to feel manly probably couldn't handle the equal relationship a cat demands of its humans.

I've said it to many people that dogs have been breed to be obedient and with the desire to always please their owners, but cats haven't, so people who get an animal to increase their own self-esteem or public perception/persona would prefer a more subservient species.


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## Xanti (Nov 4, 2008)

Cat-Daddy said:


> I definitely think the 'macho' factor plays a big part, and anyone who needs a dog to feel manly probably couldn't handle the equal relationship a cat demands of its humans.
> 
> I've said it to many people that dogs have been breed to be obedient and with the desire to always please their owners, but cats haven't, so people who get an animal to increase their own self-esteem or public perception/persona would prefer a more subservient species.


Agreed. It is a fact that SOME men wouldn't do anything to ruin their macho image.


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## Sidestep99 (Jul 2, 2012)

Men are often told that you must be strong, you can't show tenderness, or love. You must protect, provide and lead those in your care. 

The first element, protection, is what dogs are often considered great at. Whether a true guard dog or just the family pet who barks when a stranger comes to the door, they provide a sense of protection. I think guys focus in on it because they as well are tasked with protecting property, people etc.

Cats aren't as well known as protectors. I'm not saying they don't, but they don't have the persona of being the guard on watch. What are they? They are loving, fun, great to play with and companions who many men and women enjoy. 

Do I think there is that bias of young men (and some older) towards cats? Yes.. is it wrong? well I think Men need to realize that while protecting is important, there are other wonderful elements of life that cats help us see and enjoy.


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## Cat-Daddy (Jun 16, 2012)

Sidestep99 said:


> Whether a true guard dog or just the family pet who barks when a stranger comes to the door, they provide a sense of protection. I think guys focus in on it because they as well are tasked with protecting property, people etc.


That's a really good point. I'd never thought of it that way but it does make a lot of sense. It would stand to reason that men project onto dogs their own role in a family unit and see them as extensions of theirs, whereas cats are the exact opposite really aren't they?

Their independent and strong-headed natures are desirable to people who don't look to reinforce their own feelings or status in a relationship. 

I hate to say it, but perhaps some men who don't like cats and only like dogs are a tad bit insecure and can't handle an animal doing it's own thing and being an equal partner in the relationship.


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## builder (Sep 2, 2012)

Well I’ve been around a long time and I cannot think of one single macho man that I’ve ever met that likes cats. In fact I’m appalled but what these guys sometimes say about cats.


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## Cat-Daddy (Jun 16, 2012)

It's their loss. There are very few things in this world like feeling the soft touch of a cat's wet nose rubbing into your cheeck when they try to cuddle into you and be close to your face when you sleep.


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## minikin44 (Aug 25, 2012)

I think, too, that some people like dogs better because it's so much easier to get them to love you. I've never heard of a dog that disliked it's owner, but with a cat, you usually have to work and earn that love/loyalty. I'm not being negative toward dogs, just making an observation...


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## Cat-Daddy (Jun 16, 2012)

That's not negative at all, it's an accurate osbervation, and it's not in any way unfair to dogs, after all, WE breed them to be how we want, we can't turn around and blame them for it. Talk about giving a dog a bad name :-D

Cats on the other hand are more of a challenge and personally I like that. It's a lot more satisfying to know that you won over an independent creature's affection rather than were given it by virtue of genetics. Like most things in life, you enjoy them better when you 've earned them.


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## Dave_ph (Jul 7, 2009)

spotty cats said:


> Just as some men have small fluffy dogs


 
But those guys are gay.














































No, really I'm only kidding.


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## Dave_ph (Jul 7, 2009)

builder said:


> Well I’ve been around a long time and I cannot think of one single macho man that I’ve ever met that likes cats. In fact I’m appalled but what these guys sometimes say about cats.


What qualifies as "macho"? Loud? Manual laborer? Drinks beer? Drives a pickup truck? Wears a wife-beater? Those guys are actually just primitive.


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## Janz (Mar 26, 2012)

I live in the US and have, unfortunately, never been to the UK. But I think part of the difference may be attributed to space. Correct me if I am wrong but I think many in the UK live in smaller spaces and a cat may make a better pet than a dog. I cannot really comment on your age group but I will say that my dad, a quiet introverted person, loved cats. My mom liked/tolerated them. My boyfriend in college had a large snake and a cat. Somebody had given him a kitten to feed to the snake and he couldn't do that. If he had I would have dumped him immediately. My best friend, who did not like cats, went out of town for a week and returned to find her boyfriend had adopted two kittens. She became a cat lover. A coworker and his wife recently adopted a kitten and a puppy. She wanted the puppy and he wanted the kitten. And he's from the UK. I have never understood people who claim to hate cats. I would never think a guy is macho because he has a dog. And the guys with the little furry ankle-biting dogs are not macho at all but obviously love animals. I connect with people who love animals


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## I<3BabyCat (Sep 19, 2012)

binkyhoo said:


> My idea. Be it male or female, If you are more of a controlling type a dog is for you. If you are more of a 50/50% sharing type, then more of a cat person. This is a huge generalization. I like both.


Totally agree. I think it's probably the same whether the dog lover is male or female. It might well be a generalisation, but think about it, why do these real hardcore dog lovers love dogs so much? Because they are loyal in the face of anything, and take orders. The loyalty part is not because they themselves are particularly loyal, they just love the fact that there is an animal that they can potentially treat however they want and it will still love them, also they seem to love the way their dogs gush over them and beg for attention. All the men I've known that are hardcore dog lovers are very controlling, and quite selfish, but I think the same is most likely said of female dogs lovers, only I haven't had experience in a relationship with a woman, so can't judge. This is not what I think of all people who like dogs, I mean, I like dogs, just those really hardcore dog lovers, everyone has met one.


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## heavyharmonies (Jul 20, 2009)

I think the OP's perception is not off the mark. Here in the U.S. at least, having a dog is perceived as macho/manly, whereas having a cat is preceived as feminine. I disagree with that assessment of course, but I think that is the popular perception.

I think that peer pressure amongst males also plays into this. I have no evidence to back this up, but I think that certain males are afraid to admit liking cats (or won't attempt to like a cat) for fear of being ridiculed/belittled by their social group.

Personally, I would never allow group testosterone levels to dictate whether my having 5 cats is "acceptable" or not.


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## I<3BabyCat (Sep 19, 2012)

minikin44 said:


> I think, too, that some people like dogs better because it's so much easier to get them to love you. I've never heard of a dog that disliked it's owner, but with a cat, you usually have to work and earn that love/loyalty. I'm not being negative toward dogs, just making an observation...


Agree. These scientists did this sick experiment years ago where they wanted to test the loyalty of dogs. Well to cut a long story short (because the long version would only infuriate you like it did me), the dog stayed loyal, licking its owners hands while the owner was basically torturing it.


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## jusjim (Jun 30, 2009)

And then there are the women like my younger sister who, while not hating cats, prefer not to associate with them and love dogs. What does that say about them?


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## Galathiel (Feb 6, 2012)

I don't think you can say a person has to be more of a controlling person to prefer dogs. I have both, have always had both, and love them for very different reasons. I love the unconditional devotion that my dog gives me (even after 12 years, he thinks I'm the best thing around). I've always loved cats for their own unique personality and qualities and the sheer entertainment value of having a rambunctious, playful character galloping through the house (my current cat). There's nothing wrong with preferring one over the other, people have different personalities and needs. There IS something wrong in devaluing an animal because you have the wrong expectations for it. A cat does NOT act like a dog, even though some have dog-like qualities (and some breeds of dogs have cat-like).

Having said all that, my son (now 21) has always been around both and loves both. I fully expect him to have a household with both types of animals in it. He scoops up our cat, holding her on her back like a baby (otherwise she scrabbles to get down) and gives her kisses on the top of the head that she endures with a long-suffering air. We were without a cat for about a year after we lost our Siamese to kidney failure at the age of 16. He hounded me all of that time about getting another cat. Several of his friends also have cats as well. Maybe perceptions are changing.


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## minikin44 (Aug 25, 2012)

*I hope!*



Galathiel said:


> Maybe perceptions are changing.


 That would be amazing! It's the same stupid kind of mentality that says little girls can't play with toy blocks and little boys can't have a baby doll...


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## 3furbabies (Dec 7, 2011)

Well before we had cats both my bf and I didn't like them. Now he loves them, posts tons of pics on fb of our kitties and talks about them a lot. He even worries when we are out and tells people we gotta leave at x time to get home to the cats. He gets teased by his friends and when I rescued our last cat his friends said he is nuts to let me bring home another one... He wanted me to give her up because he was bugged so much but he loves her now and doesn't care what people think. Some of his friends call him a crazy cat lady. Immature if you ask me


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## gosha (Oct 16, 2011)

My fiance is a dog person and was a cat hater. He has 2 dogs and I have a cat, he said he hated cats and I didn't like his dogs, they are little cute havaneese, but they poop inside the house, I just hate it, sometimes if you don't take them for a walk they do their business inside. So we moved in together and now my cat won him over, I see them chilling together often, he plays with him and feeds him. However my cat doesn't get along with his dogs at all, he always wants to attack them, but they are real cool with my fiance, I get jealous sometimes  I must agree a lot of guys in US don't like cats.


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## Kittybuns (Sep 19, 2012)

I don't think it's fair to say that men who like dogs are more likely to be selfish or controlling. There's no real reason to think that. Surely some dog lovers are like that, but I'll bet so are just as many cat lovers, ferret lovers, and pot bellied pig lovers. 

I live in the United States. My dad is a retired naval captain, lifts weights, and loves cars. After my parents got divorced and he bought his own house, the first thing he did after he got settled in was adopt a cat. It was actually kind of funny when he picked his cat. I had the privilege of going to the animal shelter with him (we picked the shelter with the highest euthanasia rates), and he had already said he did not want a kitten. One of the cats there was the manliest cat I've ever seen. He was HUGE- not fat at all, just very long and very tall. Super masculine looking and very friendly. Just assumed my dad would want him so I scooped him up, announced "Well, let's go then!" and then turned around to find my dad cradling a 4 month old little girl kitten. Needless to say, he ended up adopting the kitten  He was so loyal to her that when she died a year later (she was poisoned by Hartz flea killer as I mentioned in another thread), he paid something like $900 for a purebred marbleized Bengal just like her.

My brother is pretty masculine, too. Also loves cars, is very into sports, likes to fish, likes to box, all that stuff. He has 2 very spoiled girl cats that he adopted all on his own and loves to bits.

My husband admittedly is not as traditionally masculine as a lot of guys (and I love him for it), but he is very fond of our new kitty, Declan  And a number of our single male friends have pet cats, too. 

So far I haven't received any guff at all from dog owners in regards to our cat. Before him, our pets were all bunnies and birds. I HAVE had people say the oddest and rudest things to me about my bunnies. As much as I like Declan so far, my loyalty is definitely to rabbits and I don't think I could ever live in a home without a rabbit (ask me again in 6 months and I'll probably say I will always have a rabbit AND a cat!). I've had rabbits since I was a kid and am crazy about them. The funny thing is that when I got my first rabbit as a child, I was dying for a cat or dog, and he was kind of a consolation prize and "second best" to a cat or dog, but that feeling did not last long when I realized how amazing bunnies are. Many people- cat lovers included- don't consider rabbits to be "real" pets. It's rather fun having a pet that can be seen by the majority of vets (for less money, too!) and that has so many different kinds of toys and cool litter boxes and stuff available for.


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## Cat-Daddy (Jun 16, 2012)

Bunnies are cute  I've had friends with bunnies and they are great fun.


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## LestatTheCat (Sep 1, 2012)

I think a lot of the skewed perception - in the US at least - ties into the "crazy cat lady" stereotype. There isn't a male equivalent, nor is there one for people who have a lot of dogs and live alone. They are just animal lovers. The "crazy cat lady" on the other hand is everywhere in US culture (I can't speak for UK) from shows on TV about animal hoarders to the character on the Simpsons. 

So, when a society makes this association, owning a certain amount of cats or being a man who owns a cat becomes intrinsically "wrong" or "strange" and certainly the word lady in there doesn't help. 

These kind of societal functions and conventions might have been important in, say, a small medieval town (where if you didn't "go with the flow" you might introduce a plague or be accused of witchery) but when are we going to get past this idea of group shaming/think, hammering into young people's heads what one must or mustn't do to be accepted in society as a "normal" male or female et cetera. Maybe never..?


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## Huge2 (Jan 28, 2008)

I don't care what you say. It's not normal to hate cats.


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## freedevil (Aug 21, 2012)

I think its easier being a male with a cat. Most women seem surprised and thinks its great whereas women may have trouble with men that are unfamiliar with cats.


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